Finding Alice (2021) s01e04 Episode Script

1
Harry
Harry.
Stop banging
Oi, man!
Stop it!
It's not for
sale!
Ow!
Urgh!
Oh!
Charlotte!
Charlotte, wake up!
Charlotte, wake up, wake up!
What time is it?
They've sold the house!
Urgh!
They've sold the house!
God!
Did you sleep at all?
We have to stop them selling our house.
How?
We buy it.
We haven't got any money, Mum.
Yes, we do.
Your dad's business.
But Dad put the house
in Gramps' and Gran's name
cos the business was in trouble.
He didn't mean for
his parents to own it.
It was a just a massive mistake.
We'll get it back.
Mum, you know you're not good
with business-type things. I mean
Says who?
Dad.
Oh, well, he can talk!
And we urgently need some
cash to keep us going.
What can we sell?
How does pawning work?
Are we sure we shouldn't just move?
Bury Dad under a lovely tree
and start a new life.
Don't set yourself
impossible goals, Mum.
Did you get that from
your school therapist?
Counsellor.
- No, not really.
- You'll be asking for closure next.
Sorry, darling.
But I'm not giving up our home.
Even if it sends you crazy?
Where's all our money, Harry?
Oh
Hi, Alice.
Erm, can I hang out here for a bit?
I just feel so
Oh, Nicola, of course.
But I've
I thought I could handle it, but I
Oh, I don't know.
I hate death.
- It's the worst.
- It is.
Oh!
Oh, Nicola, I'm so sorry,
but I've got so much to do.
But stay.
And come round again.
Oh, Charlotte!
It's your Auntie Nicola!
- Oh, hello.
- Oh
Hi, Charlotte.
Your mum had to shoot off.
I just wanted to be near my brother.
Though he
died and everything.
It's weird how little I know
about you and your mum, really.
Harry sort of kept us apart.
He didn't want a bad apple like me
to spoil the whole barrel.
Why do you think you're a bad apple?
There's always one, isn't there?
So, Harry owned this land?
It looks like it.
It's a separate thing in his own name.
Gorgeous.
I know!
But was he doing anything with it?
That?
Yeah, it's worthless.
Unless you've got goats
you need grazing.
Hello, Alice.
Hi.
Er, but this says that the land's
been re-zoned for development.
Permission was rescinded when the
council found it was contaminated
and too expensive to clean up.
How do you know all this?
Harry asked me to invest.
But then the contamination
problem turned up.
And then what?
He died.
Harry was
Well, you know, he was fun,
but he was out of his depth.
Well, I don't agree.
Do you, Yasmina?
Well, it looks pretty clean to me.
And the flats are finished.
Why aren't they for sale?
I'm still doing a deal
with my estate agents.
You know, I can't keep waiting, Tanvi.
I'm living on scraps.
My house is being sold from under me.
Er, I'll sell the flats.
No.
I control the sale.
Why?
Because I co-own the development.
No.
Harry's estate owns it.
Me.
He had to sell me half
to secure my loan.
And you aren't his estate,
because you weren't married.
I lent him more to finish your home.
That has to be repaid, too.
So
you won't get much from the sale.
You must hate me,
but I protected Harry.
Builders he hadn't paid
ransacked here and roughed him up.
Those bruises they found
in his postmortem
I bailed him out, lent you cash,
finished the flats,
and offered to finance your house.
What more do you want?
Here are Harry's cards.
That's our daughter.
When she was a baby.
- Obviously.
- Bless her little face.
She's 16 now.
Not so cute.
Er, I need cash from Harry's account.
I'm afraid, until probate,
there's nothing I can do.
But I
I don't have any money.
Until probate's granted,
our hands are tied.
I know it's upsetting.
Er, there might not be much, but can
you tell me what's in the accounts?
No, frustratingly.
You don't have a mandate on him.
- And until probate's granted, we
- Oh, shut up!
Sorry.
We can deal with an executor.
- Are you an executor for the will?
- There is no will!
I told you!
Oh, then, that is
tricky.
But hardly unheard of.
I mean, have you made a will?
Yes.
Of course you have.
I am extremely tired.
That's horrible.
What do you do when you can't sleep?
I sleep like a baby.
What, waking up every two or three
hours to shit in your pants?
No.
It's Harry's joke.
I've tried everything.
Camomile.
Nobody tells you that it's just lawn.
OK, let's wrap this up.
Er
Ah, er
Don't.
Just don't.
They're probably good people.
I'll be right back, sorry.
Yeah, we'll go and have a look.
Oh, er, hi, Alice.
Erm, I hope it's cool.
We got permission from
the owners to view again.
Er, I presume the key
code's still the same?
Now, I'm not gonna threaten you
with this,
because it's gone way beyond that!
Oh! Argh!
Jesus!
Now, Harry, Harry loved the power hose.
He's lying over there, if you want
to go and pay your respects
before you piss off!
OK, look, take it out on me!
Take it out on me!
But if you turn that on my buyers
Ooh, "my buyers"!
I'm going to have to
Oh, argh!
Fuck off!
You look terrible.
- Can I do something with your hair?
- Grief can be very ageing.
It's survivor's guilt, I presume.
Making us try to look dead ourselves.
What's that phrase?
Form
is temporary, class is permanent.
You've lost us again.
I just need to sleep.
- Have you tried turmeric?
- Oh, do be quiet, Roger.
Don't tell him to be quiet.
He doesn't mind.
Look, I am desperately short of money.
Can you help?
No, Dad, not a tenner!
We need to survive until
probate, whatever that is.
It's all bloody gibberish.
We can't just give you money.
I'll pay you back.
Somehow.
Your track record for borrowing
money from us isn't encouraging.
That was over 20 years ago.
I was a student.
I had drugs to buy.
We're supposed to think you're joking.
Mum, this is to buy us
food, not a chandelier.
Harry's business partner,
what was her name?
Didn't she advance you
some money? It's gone.
And Tanvi.
And she's not his partner, she just
helped him finish one project.
What about your little job?
No-one wants to buy a wedding dress
from someone as
frayed-looking as Alice.
Right, that's enough.
I need legal advice.
Just you and me.
What? But
you need me, too.
He'll just mess it up!
How do you put up with it?
What, your mother?
Well, it is what it is.
Well, maybe it should be what it isn't.
When are you going to confront her
about her affair with Keith?
I've decided I'm not going to.
So
not marrying or making a will
makes this all rather a shambles.
How long will it take
to clear it all up?
Six months to a year.
It'll go in a flash.
I can't wait that long. Gerry and
Minnie are selling the house now.
Well, they're going to have a hefty
tax bill, so that's prudent.
Look, I need access to Harry's assets.
And fuck prudent, by the way.
So I can raise at least some cash
from a plot of land he's bought.
Even with access, you can't sell
anything until you get probate.
I should just give up.
I don't own anything.
I'll just let the house go.
It's good Harry isn't here to see it.
One of many things he won't get to see.
Charlotte as a woman
festooned in her children.
HS2.
You know, the new train line.
Dad, you're a solicitor, of sorts.
Help.
Or we'll be homeless and we'll end
up living here with you and Mum
and Keith.
Hmm
What's Harry's business called?
It's Harry's Housing.
He wanted to call it Harry's Erection,
but they wouldn't let him.
Cheeky!
Here we go
Harry's Housing.
What are we looking at?
Companies House.
So, owners listed are
er, Tanvi Lal.
And
Oh.
You.
Me?
Yes.
But not Harry?
Yes, you own 50%, minus any borrowings.
So, you can keep running the business.
Why did Harry cut me in officially?
Because he loved you.
Or
No, no, that's good. Stop there.
Or/and to spread the ownership,
so as to shut out his dodgy lenders.
How do you know this stuff?
'A lot of crap jobs in portacabins
hanging around builders.'
Also I've been digging
into Harry's emails.
The land was granted planning.
The survey was clean.
'Then the council changed
their mind.'
Why?
They found historical records
showing chemical pollution.
But that doesn't make sense, does it?
I knew Harry knew what he was doing.
All right, speak later.
God, no.
Er, what did you say?
'Well, the truth.'
Mum treats the police
like they're in year six.
You know, pre-teen and out to get her.
'You haven't lived until
you've been hassled by the law.
'They wanted to know
what I said exactly to
'Dad
'just before he died.'
What did you say to him?
'Nothing to make him fall.
'Just, "Please, talk to me."'
Oh.
'You have to imagine,
'my parents are really uptight.
'Standing there was my dad.
'The reason I've always felt like
something was missing.'
Shall we try charm?
Hmm
Not really my thing.
You go.
Hello.
Oh, cool top.
Er, can I speak to
the planning officer, please?
I'm afraid he's just popping out.
Oh, boss leaving.
Go! Boss!
- Hello.
- Hello.
I'd love a quick chat.
Erm, my husband has just died.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Yeah, you never think it'll happen to you.
Er, so, anyway, I've brought a friend.
Unfortunately, I have to go. But
Chelsea can make you an appointment.
No, I need your help with this.
Planning permission was granted,
but then you changed your minds
because,
supposedly, it was contaminated.
- Well, there you go, then.
- How does that work?
And how do we get rid
of the contamination?
That is a technical issue.
You'll have to put all this in writing.
No, I just need just a chink of light.
Are you physically cornering me?
Yeah, probably don't do that, Alice.
God, I feel like I'm on
three percent charge.
So, what are you gonna do
about the flats?
Ignore Tanvi
and try to sell them, now I can.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
One of my few bargaining chips.
- Do you want a lift?
- No, thanks.
You shouldn't be driving.
Keep the windows open.
I'll be fine.
Always 3:47!
Lights, off.
Welcome to The Insomnia Show.
I've had a death.
What's your excuse?
Turmeric.
Here's hoping.
My house is not for sale,
as I believe I've mentioned.
Look, I can make it worth your while.
Er, money or sex?
What?
Er, because both are unacceptable.
I've just completed this development.
It's ten luxury flats,
which you can sell
if you take my house off the market.
But if it's out of your league,
I can go elsewhere.
Look, I
I'd love to handle this sale.
But I can't take your house
off the market because it's
not your house.
Well, just tell my father-in-law
that you won't sell it.
Then another firm will.
And we've accepted an offer.
That visit was just, you know,
to work out
where to put the
summerhouse and the hot tub.
Hot tub?!
It's a state-of-the-art
house, not a porn shoot!
Well, I'll just keep messing
up your viewings.
If they're happy to have
a body dug up to buy the house,
they won't give up
because you sprayed water at them.
Well, next time, I'll set fire to them.
Now, you tell your buyers
that and get rid of them.
Stall new buyers.
Then, when the flats are sold,
I will pay you more
than you're getting now
for the house that my
darling Harry built.
I've been feeling it.
Harry's up there watching us.
It's a nice thought.
He's like fucking Google Maps.
So your boss let you work, then?
I begged for a shift.
I need the money.
And I can't put my life on hold
forever.
I love this shop.
It's a happy place.
We need more happy places.
Oh!
Can I have a go?
I've never vaped a dress before.
Be my guest.
I've been compiling a list
of my top-ten Harry moments.
So, whenever I think of him
and I'm about to cry,
I just say to myself,
"Number six."
What's number six?
The time he turned up for jury duty
with half his beard shaved off.
Do you remember?
They let him off.
Number one?
When he picked me up
from primary school.
I don't know where Mum was, but
he was all handsome and
I felt really special.
I never asked him for money, but
he always knew when I was struggling.
No drama, it's just
rent's due and Harry would
have helped out by now.
But, for obvious reasons
he hasn't.
And my landlord, well, he's
giving it, "Eviction on Friday."
Christ, Nicola!
Sorry.
I couldn't resist it.
You look wonderful.
Will you take a picture, send it to Ed?
It might make him want to propose.
So, erm, can you help with rent money?
No, Nicola.
I have nothing.
Oh
That's a shame.
I'll have to move back in
with Mum and Dad.
Maybe it won't fry
our brains this time.
Move in with Ed.
Oh, God, no!
He lives with his dad and his grandad.
It's like Only Fools And
Horses, but not as funny.
Back me up on this, Nicola,
and we might be able
to kill two birds with one stone.
You are a piece of work and a half.
What's happened, Dad? The sale
of the house has fallen through.
I love greedy estate agents.
She turned a power hose on the buyers.
They've been frightened off.
I'm sorry, but
It's not enough to bury our Harry
at the bottom of her garden
like the family bloody dog.
Look, we've been through this.
Please, just delay
trying to sell the house.
No.
All right, well,
Nicola's about to be evicted.
So, if you give me time
to buy the house,
she can move in with me and Charlotte.
How does that help us pay
our inheritance tax bill?
It doesn't, ultimately. But it's
another reason not to sell up yet.
Why?
Well, because otherwise Nicola will
have to move back in here with you.
So, you're using Nicola as a threat?
No!
Nicola
It does feel a bit icky.
Alice, we're there for Charlotte,
whenever she needs us.
But Minnie and me don't
want to see you any more.
I can't believe you didn't
back me up. I'm sorry.
You know Dad, he's got, like,
a black belt in intimidation.
Yeah, that's exactly why
you should stand up to him.
We should get petrol for your car.
Oh, all right, you rob a bank.
In the meantime, we need the exercise.
Yeah, Mum's always encouraging me.
We should go running,
build up to a marathon.
No, a boot camp.
Slow down!
Can I still move in with you?
I want to get to know you better.
Now Harry's gone, everyone's
got to shuffle up closer.
And no word of a lie, Al,
I am a total laugh.
It's just you and Char
rattling around at your place.
It's not like you'll have another baby.
Well, you never know.
Harry stored some sperm
and I might use it.
You can't tell anyone.
No! I won't, but
Wow!
It's all a bit overwhelming.
Yeah.
It's like Jurassic Park.
Go on, how?
Well, creating life
from a dead creature.
I'd die to have a baby, but
I'm sure Ed thinks I'll be a shit mum.
No, he won't.
And you just learn.
You know, I'm still learning.
All clear?
Yeah, Tanvi's gone home.
But let's not push our luck.
OK.
Right, let's make this quick.
My business partner's hiring
her own agents. Er, what?
You didn't mention anything about
a joint
The more you sell, the more
you earn. It's called capitalism.
A jaw-dropping new
residential opportunity
combining convenience with super style.
Only seconds from high-end
retail and food amenities.
Oh
I could definitely live here.
It's not gonna happen.
The Lost Gardens of Babylon this way.
It smells of glue.
I love glue.
Well done, Harry.
You definitely own all this?
Er, yep.
Then I am gonna sell
the arse off these flats!
Er, right, bye!
Er, put it on the website,
or whatever it is you do. Huge.
I'll liaise about getting
a photographer in tomorrow. Great!
Whoo!
Nicola, say nothing.
What about?
Anything.
Hello.
Hello, Alice.
Alice, what are you doing here?
Er, I thought I'd show
Harry's sister around.
I think you've met Nicola.
And you?
Yes, me, too.
Showing my kids.
Cheap afternoon out.
Go to Mummy Coochie.
Oh, this one!
- Hi, I'm Patti.
- Oh, Alice and Nicola.
Cute.
I didn't know you had kids, Tanvi.
Nanny?
Wife. I like to keep
my personal life separate.
Why are you inviting estate agents
round?
I need his cooperation.
And I'm allowed.
I found out that Harry
put half the company in my name,
along with you.
So, I'm looking forward to
working with you on Monday morning.
Oh, late.
Sorry.
Everything takes so long
when you don't have a car!
Hi.
Let me make you a tea.
We've walked the length
of freakin' Chile.
Oh, and
we're doing the marathon.
No, we are not doing the marathon.
Great news about your dad's sperm.
You're gonna have a baby sib.
I didn't say that, Nicola.
You're not supposed to know about
that. It's a private family matter.
So, er, my dad has drawn up papers
making him and me trustees of your
inheritance until you reach 18.
It means we can apply for probate
and get access to the accounts.
And he's drawn up a separate document
for George to relinquish his rights.
- You've got it all covered, then.
- Well
made a start.
And I may have found a way
for us to keep the house.
Dad had a plot of land
we can develop and
I'm not signing anything
until I've read it properly.
Very sensible.
I'll just
Don't you trust me?
Well, you blurt things out, don't you?
I'm I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have told Nicola.
Little things, like you're
gonna have Dad's baby?
Might.
Who knows?
After discussing it with you.
Ah, well, hallelujah,
someone wants to buy our kitchen.
You can't sell the kitchen!
I just did.
It was that or busking.
You know, things will get
worse unless you sign that.
And if you're so
against another sibling,
why are you cosying up to George?
Because he's my brother, not some
fantasy of keeping Dad alive!
You need help, Mum.
Well, help me, then.
Rather than sulk at me.
Go to that bereavement group
and get some perspective on all this.
Don't therapise me!
He was, you know, my soul mate.
I can't imagine myself
with another man.
It would feel like a betrayal.
What would he say about that?
I mean, if he were here.
He'd be like, "You go for it, girl!"
He didn't talk like that.
Oh, I wasn't doing an impression.
But aren't you crushingly lonely?
Well, you can feel even lonelier
if you're with the wrong person.
Anything important?
Sorry.
I think I'd need, like,
some sex after a year or two.
Or a month.
Sorry.
What have I missed?
Tina doesn't want sex ever again.
She didn't say that.
I do.
So would my wife, if I'd have died.
She would have been quick
out of the blocks.
Me?
Well, you don't
have to say anything, but
do break into
the enchanted circle.
Er
Well, erm, I agree with Tina.
Sex is the last thing on my mind.
I felt like that at first.
It's totally normal.
But now you're ready to rumble,
big boy.
You know, you're just a little
bit annoying, aren't you?
Can we talk about money?
Someone you love dies
and you think it's gonna be
about gut-wrenching absence.
And it is.
But it's just as much about
the bloody bank and
bureaucracy and stupid
missing passwords.
Oh, nightmare!
Yes, I had that!
And if you weren't married and
they died suddenly without a will
and with secrets and a messed-up
business and
a family of misfits
So money.
Where shall we start?
Actually, let's not.
I'm too tired.
Erm, excuse me
Did you say you were an accountant?
Oh, I'm afraid so.
No, no, it's great.
I need one.
Desperately.
And I can't pay.
And I'm terrible company.
Erm, well,
a bottle of wine and a pizza?
Great!
Thank you.
Erm, can you provide the wine
and the pizza?
Yes.
Maybe we should be more like animals
and just walk away from our
parents as quickly as we can.
Hmm
- No.
- No?
So why are you living
at home at your age?
Ouch!
You're so hurtful.
No, sorry.
It's temporary.
And free.
And they would kill each
other if I wasn't there.
Come on.
I'm serious.
I'm the family fire extinguisher.
And just to warn you
they don't want me to give up
my share of any inheritance.
Really?
Hmm.
My dad, Frank, especially
sees it as a kind of payoff after
he was humiliated at the inquest.
He wasn't humiliated.
He was.
He was publicly exposed, in absentia,
as being the cheated-on husband
who can't make kids of his own.
Mum's gonna hate all this.
She's not coping well.
I'm worried she'll do something mad.
Like burying Dad in the garden?
No. But, yeah.
You mustn't tell anyone.
OK.
Mum didn't know,
but Dad left some frozen
Oh, I can't say it.
What?
Assets?
Lasagne?
Sperm?
Yes, that. For Mum to use.
Jesus
I know. I shouldn't have told you.
Hmm.
It's her choice, but
talk about a can of worms.
Do they keep it in a can?
I don't even know what happened.
Whoops!
Oh, hi!
We've saved you some pizza.
And this is Graham
from the bereavement group.
Hi.
Why is he here?
Er, he's an accountant.
Afraid so.
He's helping me with Dad's papers.
And I've bought your kitchen.
He's bought our kitchen!
Now, we mustn't fall out over money
or sperm.
I love you so much.
I love you, too.
But I don't understand you.
Oh, well
I don't understand you either.
'Hello? Charlotte?'
- Gran, you big techy.
- 'Big what?'
- Are you all right?
- 'Yes.
'My friend Maeve
showed me how to do this.
'I thought it was the
best way of seeing you
'without your mum and your gramps
and me getting all het up.'
Oh, Gran
'Your gramps and I
have bought a plot of land.'
To build on, like Dad?
'No, no, no.
'It's a cemetery plot.
'To build just the basement, I suppose.
'We think, if you both see it,
then you'll come round to the idea.
'Then everything else
will fall into place.
'I mean, otherwise, it's going
to get worse and worse.'
Oh
I slept.
Ten hours.
I kept thinking you were dead.
Well
that's the answer, then.
I share your bed.
Until you get a boyfriend,
obviously. No sharing then.
No! No, no, no!
Sorry.
You're just like Dad.
We will get another kitchen, you know?
It'll be cheap and cheerful,
just like us.
Don't you think it's a bit odd
that he's buying the kitchen?
Who, Graham? No.
He said he needs an upgrade.
Kitchen or wife?
Charlotte!
Well, he obviously fancies you.
No, he doesn't!
Do you think? Oh, my God!
Yes. And you know he does.
No-one spends 20,000 quid
on a kitchen they don't really need.
Oh, I feel awful now.
No, Mum, don't.
And I shouldn't be selling
Harry's kitchen anyway.
We spent New Year's choosing it.
He went to Finland.
Mum, we need the money
more than a bonkers kitchen.
So, what shall we do today,
that's free?
Er, fishing?
Some simple parkour?
I know you aren't
talking to them, but
it is kind of Gramps and Gran.
Can't be much fun
choosing your son's grave.
No.
Right, well, let's be grown-up.
What do you think?
Erm, well, you could say
it's nice everyone's together.
All the dead.
Like a very long sleepover.
Hmm.
Feels more like a long-stay car park
at a really dismal airport.
So, you and Dad never talked
about this, er, situation?
No.
We had better things to do.
I don't like it.
Neither do I.
And nor would Dad. Come on.
So
Harry's staying where he is
and so are we.
Good.
Ooh, I like that one!
Is it a turkey?
No, I think it's an angel.
Oh, yeah, that would make more sense.
I don't understand a word of it.
Are you sure Grandad
knows what he's doing?
No, frankly.
But he is providing his services
for free.
I think you're giving me
the right to act for you.
Oh yes!
Oh!
He's moving us out.
He can't do it.
It's a five-grand down payment.
Let's make it last.
This isn't gonna make Gramps
any happier when he finds out.
Well, he started it.
We need to tell them
we don't want to move Dad
to that plot in the gated community.
We need a little bit more
of a drum roll.
Yay!
A toast.
To the house that Harry built.
The house that Harry built.
The house that Harry built.
I'll buy it back
when we can afford it, Harry.
It's your house and business.
I'm just taking care of it.
I'm the new you.
Harry bought the land relatively cheap.
With planning granted,
he would have made a big killing.
We need to learn how planning works
at the council.
Yeah. It's totally Kafkaesque.
Whose fancy car is that outside?
Hello.
Hi.
I'm coming in later.
Me, too.
Thanks, but I don't need you
any more, Yasmina.
Really?
There goes the spa weekend.
I've thought about it and this
won't work with you and me, Alice.
Well, is there a choice?
Yes.
You may not know this,
but Harry and I go way back.
No, I didn't know that.
So, I want to do the right thing
by you and your lovely daughter.
She could be a model, couldn't she?
Hmm, no.
We were thinking welder.
I know how to sell property.
You don't.
If you harass the council
like that again,
they're more likely to dig Harry up.
I can solve all your problems
with one simple deal.
What?
I'll buy all of Harry's
business assets from you,
including the greenfield land,
for two million.
But you said the land was worthless.
It is.
But in the long run, with maybe
years of cajoling from me,
the council may grant
planning permission.
Or not. I'll take that risk.
No-one else will.
That's enough money to pay off
your in-laws and keep your house.
But the land's worth so much more
if it's developed.
Or nothing if it isn't.
But I feel connected with that land.
You know, it was obviously
Harry's escape route.
It's his secret garden.
Let me focus your mind.
Accept my deal or you'll be saying
goodbye to your home.
Are you all right?
Well, not really.
So, her deal
how brave are you feeling?
Really?