Five Bedrooms (2019) s01e04 Episode Script

- Oh, no, no, no.
Just a little bit of regrouping,
consolidation, optimizing.
Six months on two conditions,
no more surprises and no sex.
- Ains is the mastermind
behind the whole idea.
She saved my life.
- You're having one of
your episodes, aren't you?
Vis-a-vis Ben?
- I think I might
be better placed
just avoiding him for a bit.
- You're confused.
You're overwhelmed.
Yeah.
You've got a lot of
drugs in your system.
- I like you, Heather.
And I think I'm
gonna kiss you again.
["Flower Duet" by Leo Delibes]
- [Liz] Once upon a time,
home was a sanctuary to me.
It was a place of calm
and perfect order.
Entering the house felt like
stepping into a very elegant,
slow-moving Scandinavian movie.
My husband traveled
nine months of the year,
and on a balmy night
with a pinot grigio
on my outdoor setting, it
was possible to believe
other people didn't
exist at all.
In the living arrangement
I found myself in,
coming home was more like going
through an assault course,
a Tough Mudder
course, in high heels.
- We've been robbed.
- Your TV's gone.
It's my fault.
- The police are asking
for a serial number?
- I don't know.
- I'm so sorry, I just didn't
know how to use that alarm.
- Is there any way
you can find it?
- Not right now.
- [Harry] Not right now.
- It was ultra HD wasn't it?
- Yes yes.
Sorry, sorry.
- It'll only take a minute.
So, Ben keeps asking
me to go with him
to a pawn shop to
look for the TV.
Could you go?
- I have to get back to work.
- I'm just try to maintain
some distance from him
and I think it's working.
- Ains, I'm very late.
Also, I don't care, and I
have too much respect for you
to pretend that I do.
- Can we all make sure
nothing else is missing?
The police will be here soon.
- I can't stay.
I'm sorry, I have an
appointment I can't cancel.
- Hey.
Is everything okay?
- Yeah, fine.
I wasn't fine.
- [Male] The bottom line is you
have been declared bankrupt.
- I don't see how
that's possible.
- Well, you have failed
to make the last two,
sorry, three payments, so
the sequestration order
was filed this morning.
- No, no, no, no, no.
Someone's obviously failed
to update something.
- You are required
by law to inform
your employer of
your bankruptcy.
It's up to their
discretion whether or not
they continue to employ you.
Your vehicle and your
property may be sold.
- No, that property, that's
That's actually co-owned
with four other investors.
- Well, that's irrelevant.
I'll need to make an
appointment to inspect it.
- That was purchased
well after the divorce.
- Also irrelevant.
- Surely four innocent
people shouldn't be
penalized for my--
- What's the address?
[upbeat music]
[knocking at door]
- Hello, neighbor.
Pete.
The telly.
From number 58?
I believe there's
been a robbery?
- You're a police officer.
- Yes, I'm a police officer.
You rang about a
missing television?
- Yeah, yes, it's
Come on through.
- All right, and you
have accounted for
all other valuables, yeah?
Jewelry?
Electronics?
- Yeah, pretty sure
it's just the TV.
Nothing in mine's worth taking.
I don't think.
- And there is just the
four of you here, right?
Four singles?
- Sorry?
- Four singles?
In the house?
- Oh, no, there's
- Harry's single.
- No.
I am single, actually.
That's correct.
But also there are five
of us, including Liz,
the owner of the television.
- Just excuse me for a sec.
- All right, I am
afraid that there is not
a lot more that I
can do right now,
but it is definitely
worth having a chat
with the neighbors.
[phone rings]
- So sorry.
- Our street has a very
active Neighborhood Watch.
Military-grade.
[phone rings]
[laughing]
- What?
- [Ben] Oi, just
come in my room.
- What's happening?
- Oh, you know.
You've got eyes.
- For what?
- Ssh, ssh.
Just the vibe, just hang in here, relax, you know.
Gotta give 'em space.
- Who?
- Harry!
And the copper.
You saw the way he
was looking at him.
Pete's gay, right?
- Yeah, I mean, I
try not to assume,
but, yeah, I
suspect he might be.
Yeah!
[laughs]
You know, we should
probably get back.
- All right, you'll find
your reference number
top of the page, for
insurance purposes.
And if you think of anything
else or have any questions.
- Okay, good.
I don't think I'll think
of anything, but it's good.
- Well, if you do,
you know where I live.
[laughs]
- Thank you, Officer.
- I'll show you out.
- Yep.
- Wait two hours,
call that number,
ask the man out for a
refreshing beverage.
- God, Ben!
He was just doing his job.
- He wants to get on the
job with you, my friend.
An officer and a gentleman.
- Just because two gay people
are in each other's eye line
does not guarantee
physical attraction.
- You haven't said
anything to Ains, have you,
about our little situation?
- Which part of we both
take this to our graves
did you not understand?
- Still thinking
about it, though,
aren't you?
- Afternoon.
Look, sorry to bother you both.
I'm just letting everyone
know that we've been burgled.
- That's no good!
Have you told Marty?
- [Heather] Not yet, why?
- He's the appointed president
of the Neighborhood Watch.
He likes to think he
runs a tight ship.
- He doesn't.
[chuckling]
What?
- Sorry.
It's just a private joke.
Something Heather did.
- For Christ's sake.
Look, you know, if
you think of anything,
just give us a call.
- Yeah, sure.
- I don't know if what you're
doing is performance art
or some kind of cruel
joke, but it's gotta stop.
- [Liz] As a lawyer,
you train your brain
to stare down a crisis.
I was staring down
my own crisis,
but my brain was
not cooperating.
- The fact is even
the most rigorous
security systems have holes.
Think of 9/11.
- I don't think we could
compare it to 9/11.
- [Harry] Pretty
good TV, though.
- I don't want to
point any fingers.
- Well what are you
looking at me for?
- You know why.
- Oh, not this again.
I took three fucking
lemons in 2012!
- Ah!
Liz, welcome.
Grab a seat anywhere you like.
- What's happening?
- A Neighborhood Watch meeting.
Marty felt it was important.
- Look, I'm sorry about your TV.
The thought of you all sitting
around here of an evening
with no entertainment,
it just kills me.
- Oh, it's really
not your fault.
- No, it is my fault,
I am the big cheese.
I'm the president and
I have failed you.
- You haven't failed us, mate!
- Can it wait?
- I did, and I
feel sick about it!
I'm gonna be doing double
patrols this evening.
- Oh, no, no, no, that's
really not necessary.
No, I took the television.
- Why would you
steal your own TV?
- I didn't.
I relocated it.
- Where?
- Why?
- Why did you let
us call the cops?
- I can explain.
- Well, I take back
what I said earlier.
Some systems are impenetrable,
and that's what we've got here.
Heh?
With this breaking news, I think
we can wind up the meeting,
squeeze in a spritzer before
the early evening patrol.
- Off we go.
Thank you for coming,
it's been great.
- Cheers.
- Really sorry.
- No problem.
- Not a problem.
- Lovely to see you.
- Sorry, sorry.
- Leopards cannot
change their spots, Val!
- [Val] Oh, not this again!
- Why didn't you say something?
- Where is the TV?
- I'm so sorry.
- I was on the phone to
the insurance company
for three hours.
I gave myself an Alzheimer's
early detection test.
- I sincerely apologize.
I should've mentioned
that my television
is one of my items that
I've re-consolidated.
- Re-consolidated?
- She sold it.
Do you need money?
- No!
I have everything under control.
I mean, I am just
re-evaluating some assets.
I mean, I have the
matter well in hand.
I'm deeply sorry for
any unnecessary alarm
that it may have caused.
- It's okay.
Ah, we should call the police.
- No, I can handle that.
- Harry can handle
that, in person.
The cop is neighbor
Pete, Pete Portelli.
You should've seen the way
he was looking at this bloke.
- Not now, Ben.
You have never re-consolidated
anything in your life.
What the fuck is going on?
- Obviously, I planned
to seamlessly replace
the television with a slightly
smaller one in the garage,
but I was frazzled
and I ran out of time.
It's been a hell of a day.
- Well that in no way
answers my question.
Look, Liz.
If you need a loan.
- Jesus Christ, Harry.
- All you have to do is ask.
- Okay, I
[laughs]
I appreciate your concern,
but it is not warranted.
I am on top of this.
Okay?
[knocking on door]
Hi!
Thanks for squeezing me in.
- [Edwina] Look, I do have to
be in court at 10:00, so
- I just have a situation that
I need to make you aware of.
- Is everything all right?
- Yes.
I'm sorting it out now,
and I think I'm probably
already through the worst of it.
I'm facing bankruptcy.
- Liz!
How?
- Let's just say that,
Stuart had some overly
ambitious plans,
most of which he
didn't disclose to me
and none of which came
to fruition, obviously.
Quite the opposite.
But I am consolidating
and downsizing.
- You do realize what this means
from the firm's perspective?
It's unthinkable for
an associate to be
declared bankrupt.
- Edwina, I understand
that this is
a highly unusual situation,
but given my history
with the firm, I hope that
my position is secure.
- All I can say is
that I'm gonna have to
raise this with the other
partners immediately.
- So Liz moved the TV
and didn't tell anyone?
- Yeah.
I probably could've said that
in the call, but I thought
Well, actually, I mean,
I was driving past and
Well I'm so sorry to
have wasted your time.
- Oh, it's not a worry.
So, was that everything?
- Well, actually
It's a slightly separate
thing, completely unconnected.
- It's common to feel unsettled
after a crime experience,
even one that turns out
to be a false alarm.
It's very normal to have
feelings of vulnerability.
- Yes.
That does make
sense, doesn't it?
Hey, thank you for your time.
- Harry!
Do you wanna grab
a drink tonight?
- [Officer] Sit down, mate.
- [Male] I am sitting down!
- [Officer] Sit down.
- [Male] Get off me!
- Yes.
- [Male] Jesus!
- Yeah?
- Yes, please.
I should probably let you
- Yeah.
[chuckles]
- I'll be in touch.
- [Pete] Got this?
- [Ben] So, no sex, ever?
- [Heather] Yep.
- Come on!
What if we were the last
two people on Earth?
- Nah.
- So you'd let all of
humanity die out, would you?
- Yep.
- What if this
wasn't a house rule?
'Cause it was really Liz's rule.
- It's not the rule, Ben.
I've just shut up shop.
And it's not just you.
No-one is gonna
be seeing me naked
in any circumstances ever again.
I mean I couldn't
work with anything
less than total blackout.
- They've got these
blackout blinds.
They'll even come and
fit 'em to your room.
- It couldn't be at home.
I mean, it'd have
to be at least 20Ks
from anyone I've
ever met in my life.
- Anything else?
- Well, you know,
I'd have to be drunk.
I mean, you know,
messy, no-memory drunk.
So would the fool
trying to have a crack,
he'd have to be
more drunk than me.
- Why would he have to be drunk?
- All right, well, that
kind of rookie question
tells me you've got no idea
what you're dealing with.
This is barbaric.
It's half the size
my TV back at home.
- [Ainsley] You didn't come
here to watch television.
- Sorry, sorry to interrupt.
I have my financial
advisor coming over
for a visit in a while, just
to go through some business,
but it's a slightly
delicate conversation, so
- You're kicking us out now?
- Oh, no, no, no.
Not unless you don't have a
reason to leave the house.
- We can be quiet.
- He's actually a little
bit more than an advisor.
There's a bit of a
romantic interest there.
- Hang on!
How long's this
been on the cards?
- Oh.
Not long.
- Say no more.
Well I'm up for a movie, if
you ladies would care to join?
- Nah.
- Heather?
- You know, it would help me
to charm my gentleman caller
if I don't have an audience.
- You're paying.
And I'm not seeing anything
with a Chris in it.
- Done.
I'll just have a quick shower.
- I'm sorry!
You won't know I'm here.
I just, I need to avoid seeing
movies with him at this time,
or looking at him,
speaking to him.
Just having any interactions
with him at all.
- Oh!
Trevor, hello.
Hi!
- [Trevor] This is a very
substantial property!
- [Liz] Oh, it's not
as big as it looks,
but if you'd like
to come through.
- Is that your vehicle?
- Er, yes, it is.
But I have some other
assets that I'm very,
very keen to show you if
you'd like to come through.
- [Trevor] If I can just grab
- [Ben] I'd just like to
point out this lodging.
20.4Ks from home.
- Very funny.
Bravo!
Hurry up, I wanna get a
choc-top before we get in.
- Also, all other housemates'
whereabouts are accounted for,
so we've got the perfect alibi.
Also,
optional disguises.
There you go.
- When did you have time to--
- I didn't really have a shower.
I mean, just now.
I had one this morning.
Absolutely happy to
have another one.
- You know what
you've forgotten?
- Eh?
- The daylight.
[laughs]
- Well, would they help?
Ah, it's all right.
Knew you'd say no, I just
thought it might make you smile.
- Look, I'm happy
to sit in this car
and have a beer with you,
but I'm not going into that
motel today or any day.
- [Ainsley] Harry!
- [Harry] What?
- To your knowledge, is
Liz engaged in a flirtation
with her financial person?
- What?
- [Trevor] I'm only looking
at items over $1,000.
- Oh, no, this is 3,000.
It's custom.
And this one would be twice
that at least, it's Manichevski.
The rug, the rug, it's
hand-woven by monks, or swamis,
I'm not quite certain about
the precise religious entity,
but I know that I could
get a good price for it.
- Yeah, rugs don't sell
on the second-hand market.
- I'm more than happy
to arrange the resale.
I just, I can't risk the house.
- At the scale of debt
we're looking at--
- Sorry.
Liz, can we have a word?
- Trevor, I'm so sorry.
These are my housemates.
- Harry Sethi, co-owner.
- Trevor Hobbs,
court-appointed trustee.
- I can explain.
- Can I ask, what's this
about risking our house?
- It's an evolving situation.
- Are you both co-owners?
- We are, yes.
- [Liz] I can pop
out and have a word--
- Is our house at risk?
- I'd go further.
Given the current circumstances,
I'd say your house will
very likely have to be sold.
- [Ben] Tell you what, that
didn't even touch the sides.
- Well, that was a bit of fun.
Good on ya.
- So, we're off, then?
- Yep.
I might keep the sunnies.
- Really?
Are you sure?
[sighs]
- Ben, listen to me.
You're in your prime, mate.
You're gainfully employed,
you've still got a
full head of hair.
You can have your pick of women.
Gorgeous ones, young
ones with fake tits,
whatever you want.
- See, I don't want fake.
I want you.
And when I had my little
meet your maker moment,
that made me think, you
know, life is short.
And when you find this
kind of connection,
you gotta have a crack.
You know, we're here for a
good time, not a long time.
- See you had it with
the connection business
and then you just ruined it!
Look, for what it's worth,
you're a good egg, and
a reasonable kisser.
- You see, that, that
there, that's what I love.
I love how you
turn things around
and make other people feel
good about themselves.
- I do not.
- Yeah, you do.
[horn honks]
Sorry.
Good?
- No, still too bright.
No, over there.
No.
Further.
- Really?
- Further!
- Really?
Yes!
Yeah, okay, that's good.
That's good.
[thud]
[groaning]
- No, I'm good, I'm good.
Just keep talking, will you?
- What do you want me to say?
- Don't care, I just
need to find your face.
- Is that your arm?
- No, but thank you
for the compliment.
- Okay, okay.
[phone vibrates]
- Don't answer that.
- It might be
- It won't be.
It might be urgent.
- It won't be.
You sure?
- Yeah.
Oh for fucks sake.
Is anyone dying?
- I just wanted to share
a bit of good news.
- Could you tell me quickly?
- I've been named
employee of the month.
- God, that's great, Col.
I'm really happy for you.
- [Col] Thanks, love, I
knew you'd appreciate it.
- Yeah, listen, can
I buzz you back?
- Yeah, sure.
Just quickly, I get a
plus-one for the dinner.
I was wondering if
you'd come with me?
- Yeah, well, look, I
have to check the dates
and I just don't
have my diary on me.
- No worries, I just
Are you still gluten-free?
- I was off gluten for about
20 minutes six years ago!
- Thank God.
That was a rough
patch, wasn't it?
You were so angry!
- Hanging up, Col!
- You all right?
- No.
It's gone.
- You don't wanna
get a breather?
Or a short break?
Or I can go buy us a
couple of dozen oysters-
- Oh screw it.
It's back!
- This'll be them.
- Hey.
What's happened?
- Tell them.
- Tell us what?
- What I'm about to
say will sound dire,
but it's an evolving situation.
- Liz has been declared bankrupt
and this house might
have to be sold.
- What?
- Hey?
- How are you bankrupt?
- Look, my husband,
my ex-husband,
made some ill-advised
investments, as Harry knows.
- Oh, I had no idea about this.
- But I'm confident that the
house won't need to be sold.
- Confident?
- My trustee said
that he would consider
letting us keep the house,
providing someone
buys out my share.
- In the next 48 hours.
- Who?
One of us?
- Well as I've mentioned, I'm
considering multiple options.
I'm so sorry, but I have
to get back into work.
- Are you fucking serious?
- You cannot leave now!
- I'm so sorry.
- Liz!
Liz, you told me to always sound
the Liz you're being
a total bitch alarm.
I am sounding it
at maximum level.
If you leave now, honestly,
I don't know if they're
gonna let you back in.
- Got my phone.
I'll be back as soon as I can.
- Obviously, we are sympathetic
to your circumstance.
- This is actually more
common than you think.
- Oh, thank you.
That's very gracious.
- Bankruptcy is a big word.
It's an intimidating word.
A lot of people don't
understand what it means.
We understand.
- I'm glad.
- But, unfortunately, it means
instant disqualification.
You're an excellent lawyer,
Liz, and terrific fun.
But I'm afraid it's not possible
for us to overlook this.
- I see.
Well, thank you both for
extending me these
opportunities.
Would it be all right if I
emailed the staff, just to--
- I'm afraid not.
[phone rings]
- Ainsley.
- [Ainsley] Hi, Liz!
Have I caught you in the
middle of a meeting, or?
- No, it's fine,
I can step away.
- [Ainsley] I just
wanted to let you know
that we've all had a chat.
- Okay.
- And, well, it's
not a certainty,
but Harry might be able
to buy out your share.
- Oh, my God!
[sighs]
Oh!
I don't know what to say.
Thank him, obviously.
Is he there?
- No, not right now, no.
And, there is
something else, Liz.
Do you think you'll
be home soon?
- Tell me now.
- We just think it might be
best, in time, if you move out.
Are you there?
- Yes, absolutely, yes.
- I'm so sorry.
- No!
God, don't.
Please, don't apologize.
God, I'm so relieved that you
don't have to sell the house.
I should absolutely go.
I'll do it as soon as possible.
- [Ainsley] Liz, really,
there's no hurry.
- No, no, no.
I'll come home, I'll
come to the house,
and I'll pack up my
things and I'll find
an alternative place to stay.
- Just, whenever you--
- [Liz] Thanks so much
for the call, Ainsley.
[gentle music]
[phone vibrating]
- [Voicemail] The person
you're calling is
[sighs]
- You all right?
- Yeah.
- What are you doing?
- Oh, I'm just separating
her kitchen stuff.
- Heather!
- What?
I'm being thoughtful!
- Looking sharp, mate!
You hanging in there?
- Would you believe I'm
supposed to be going
on a date with Pete
Portelli in 10 minutes?
I've gotta cancel.
- Don't!
- No, no, no, you can't cancel!
- We just evicted
my best friend.
- Harry, put the phone down!
Look, I know it's
been a horrific day,
but you're here for a good
time, not a long time.
- Wise words!
- Even if I went,
I'd be so distracted.
- Look, some of the
most successful,
let's call them romantic,
encounters I've ever had
are when I've gone
in incredibly angry.
- I am also a little concerned
that Liz isn't back yet.
- We'll make sure she's okay.
- Could one of you
maybe try and call?
- I will.
- Hazza, Hazza.
- [All] Hazza, Hazza, Hazza.
- Okay I'm going!
- Go!
- Go!
- Don't do anything
I wouldn't do, mate!
- Have fun!
- It is a bit weird
that she's not back yet.
I'll call her work.
["Grow" by Laoud]
We're standing still
on ground we've broken ♪
- [Liz] I couldn't
tell you logically
why I drove back
to my old house.
When everything's
moving round ♪
- [Liz] All I knew
was that if I started
packing up my current
home, it'd all be real.
I'd be bankrupt,
jobless, and homeless.
We will all grow back again
Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh
- [Liz] I needed to go
back to my happy space.
Our breaking hearts
- [Liz] But instead, I'd
given myself a front row seat
to the life I'd lost.
When everything's broken
- So, how did you first
move to the street?
- Just conventional,
with movers?
- Sorry.
I meant when.
- Oh!
Three years.
Actually, almost four now.
- And are you renting
or do you own?
Sorry, is that a
personal question?
- Yeah, I find that
deeply invasive.
I'm kidding, I'm kidding!
I own.
Or, you know, the bank owns.
[phone chimes]
- Sorry, I've just
- Oh, yeah, go for it.
Harry, is everything all right?
- I'm so sorry, I know I
must seem very distracted.
My housemate, Liz,
apparently she's missing.
She got kicked out
of the house today,
and apparently, well,
Ainsley just found out
she also got the sack,
and now she's just gone.
- All right, Harry, not
sure if I mentioned this,
but I'm a police officer, at
your service, nonetheless.
Okay?
Can you think of anywhere
she might have gone?
- [Liz] Hi, you've
reached Liz Wendell.
Leave a message and
I'll come back to you.
- Liz, pick up.
We're worried.
The others are out
looking for you.
Look, Ainsley rang
your work, and
Look, we had no idea
you were copping it
so hard on so many fronts.
Just, you know, give
us a call or come back?
Or both.
- Ains, I know we're in
a real life-and-death
situation here, but, you and
I, we are good, aren't we?
- What?
Of course!
- It just feels like things
have kind of shifted between us.
- In what way?
- Eye contact is
a bit of an issue.
- I don't think so.
- You would tell me,
though, would you?
'Cause it would
break my heart if
you were sitting on something.
- I might
I'll just check what
her old address is.
Okay, it's number 14.
- That's her car, isn't it?
- Where?
- That one.
- Oh!
That's her purse.
Why would she leave
her purse behind?
Liz!
- Whoa, whoa.
She's probably just
gone for a walk.
- No, she doesn't walk.
Why did I say all of
that to her on the phone?
It should have
been face-to-face.
- Ains.
- Who evicts someone
over the phone?
- Ains, Ains, Ains, Ains!
Listen, listen, listen.
This is not on you, all right?
Now, whatever's going on
with Liz, I'm telling you,
the role that you play in
her life, in all our lives,
it's hero.
- I need you to stop talking.
- I can't quite
remember the lyrics
to that Mariah Carey song.
You know the one
I'm talking about.
That's who you are, Ains.
- God, Ben.
I know we've got some pretty
strict house rules, but
[police siren chirps]
- Evening, folks.
Did you report an intruder?
40-something woman, inebriated,
lying in a children's swingset?
- Jeez.
[melancholic music]
Liz.
- Hey.
Oh, thank God.
- Oh.
What are you doing here?
- Just looking for you.
- Edwina told us
you got the sack,
and then you didn't come home!
Thank God!
- That's a beautiful crape
myrtle you've got there.
What kind of fertilizer
are you using?
- Ben, maybe
- [Ben] Yeah?
- Yeah.
Okay, one, two, three.
- Three.
- Whoo-whoo!
[phone rings]
- Sorry.
Ains?
What's happening?
[sighs]
Great, great.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Yep, I'll see you soon.
She's fine.
She's with Ainsley and Ben.
Thank you.
- I didn't do anything.
- You did.
You put up with me.
- You probably wanna
head back home.
- No.
Let's, try and
Let's get a drink.
- Harry, it's okay.
- No, it's not.
I just, I wouldn't be
able to forgive myself
if I didn't at least try
and show you a side of me
that isn't, I don't
know, borderline insane.
- You didn't seem
borderline insane.
You just seemed like you
really loved your friends.
And that's a lot rarer
than it should be.
[gentle music]
- Oh, oh.
- [Harry] I'm so sorry.
- What are you apologizing for?
- I didn't pick up.
Our sacred deal, we
always answer the phone.
- I'm
No, I'm the guilty
party, and I'm sorry.
I made a series of
seriously poor choices
and I didn't have any
lunch, and I had a--
- You can't leave.
I'll buy you out, but
you can be my tenant
and you can pay me back
when you're on your feet.
- Thank you, no, no.
It wouldn't be
fair to the others.
- I'm with Hazza.
I think we jumped the gun.
You're a foundation member
of the house, sacred council.
You get a second chance.
- Yeah, I'm so sorry, Liz.
I've been feeling
sick about it all day.
- Look, I was angry.
And I'm still feeling
a lot of feelings.
But no-one is ending up
homeless on my watch.
- I honestly thought
that I could, you know,
dig my way out before
you even noticed.
I'm so ashamed.
- Liz, the entire time
we've been friends,
I've been an adult man
living with his mother.
There's no shame here.
- I'm bankrupt and I'm divorced.
- Oh, please!
I'm separated, I'm
drowning in debt
and I'm still responsible
for my utterly useless sons.
And, I haven't
been able to sneeze
with any confidence
in over a decade.
This is a house of utter
humiliation and, to be honest,
up until this moment,
you never quite fit.
But for better or for
worse, you do now.
Go unpack your boxes.
- I didn't pack any boxes.
- Sorting, I was just sorting.
- You okay?
- This rug will have to be sold.
Would you please
lie on it with me?
- I think I'm going to
introduce another alarm
into the relationship.
- Liz, you're being a
self-destructive fuckwit alarm.
- No.
The Harry, I'm struggling
and I need help alarm.
You always had it.
- I know.
But I just couldn't tell you.
- Why?
- Oh, God.
'Cause I'm
I'm the one who always
figures things out.
I'm the one who forges through.
And I'm the one
who has a plan B.
Always.
- Well, you should give
yourself more credit,
'cause you do have a plan B.
Me.
- [Announcer] Next
time on Five Bedrooms.
- Oh, you're off early today.
Something exciting on?
- Actually, I've got a date.
- I just wanted let
you know that Ben and I
are rostered on
to clean this week
and I'm gonna take
this opportunity to
say something to him.
Ben!
- I am parked outside Mum's
and it's gonna happen.
I'm telling her.
- Right now?
[doorbell rings]
[melodic music]