Friday the 13th: The Series (1987) s01e04 Episode Script
A Cup of Time
(thunder crashing) (phonograph powers up) (slow ragtime jazz playing) (mechanical creaking) (chimes tinkling) (thunder crashes) (owl hooting) What do you want? Woman: Don't be frightened.
I just thought you might like a cup of hot tea On a sticky night like this.
You know what they say-- Nothing like a hot drink to cool ya off.
Who are you? I'm nobody.
Just like you.
(owl hooting) (hooting continues) Thanks.
(gasping) (gagging) (choking) (sighs) (rock music playing) the fire of you still burns deep in the night and the rules of desire take me higher higher (new wave rhythm playing) What the hell was that? (music stops) man: It's a new patch jojo laid in.
We all loved it.
Oh, yeah? Well, I hate it.
So dump it, teddy, and no more surprises.
You just blew my whole vocal.
Your wish is my command.
You look lovely, doll.
Oh, don't shmear me, langley.
You'll get your commission anyway.
These publicity shots just came in.
Thought you might like To take a look at 'em.
I kind of like This one.
Ugh.
Nah, I look too old.
This one's okay.
It's my second choice.
(polaroid humming) So how're we doing with Friday night's concert? Are the bleeping androids confirmed yet? It's gotta be right, dead right.
I think we oughta discuss it a little more.
What's to talk about? I thought we did all the talking.
Well, babe, You did all the talking.
What I mean is, if you want to have a benefit Concert, that's your business.
But at least make sure they cover the costs.
Hey, I'm the one up there working my butt off.
What I say goes.
It's my way Or the doorway.
Take it easy, love.
How's it gonna look to the press if I'm chintzy On my own first benefit? Not great.
(pinball machine beeping) I gotta hand it to you, babe, A benefit concert will really put you on the map.
But why the homeless? Because I want to, okay? All right, all right.
I'm sorry I brought it up.
I just wanted to express my opinion.
It's what you pay me for, right? Yeah, my paying you seems like another act of charity.
Teddy: We dumped the track, die.
Ready whenever you are.
(door slams) (rock music playing) the heat gets hotter like a lamb to the slaughter I've got them, jack! Hey, micki, check this out! An original pressing of mighty thunder live from japan! Micki: Never heard of them.
Ryan: What'd you say? I said you're gonna burn (sighs) (music stops) that's better.
I take it you're not into lady die.
Oh, I have no problem with her.
It's deafness I'm concerned with.
That's the only way To get the full effect.
You're acting like you're 60 or something.
Since when did you become such an old bag? (chimes jingling) hi, everybody.
The old bag's here with your curtains.
Oh, birdie, you shouldn't have.
Oh, I wanted to.
Now that you've all moved in here, I thought maybe it might spruce up the place a bit.
I even hemmed and pressed them.
It's They're very nice.
No doubt about it.
The lady's toasted for jack.
Something tells me the feeling is not mutual.
Looks like he needs a little bailing out.
What are you doing? Oh, just, uh, working on a protein drink.
You mean for energy? Yes, it-it stimulates The flow of blood to the brain which sharpens the, uh, Perceptual senses And it-it's very healthy and organic.
Ryan: Wow.
Pretty cool, jack.
Yes, well there's still some side effects I have To do some work on.
Besides the protein stimulation, It seems to be having a mild aphrodisiac effect.
Now you're on to something.
If you can just get rid of the protein part, You'll be doing just fine.
Hmm? If you need a guinea pig, I'll be glad to try some.
It doesn't look like that'll be necessary, birdie.
Looks like the rats are partying just fine.
(stammering): I wouldn't want to put you at risk, But, thank you for the offer.
Sure.
I understand.
That's disgusting! Here are your wood chips.
You might as well let them Fool around on something clean.
Care for some coffee, birdie? Oh, thanks.
I'd love some.
I was up all night.
Oh, how come? There was another murder in the park.
Young runaway.
Couldn't have been much younger than you.
Poor sweet thing.
One of your cases? I had to identify the body.
It was awful.
You think you've seen it all at my age, But it still gets to me.
No family, No friends.
Imagine dying And the only one who knows you is some social worker.
Yeah, what happened to her? Oh, no one knows.
The police won't say a thing.
It's all very strange.
She was strangled by a rope or something.
The worst is, she's not the first.
You mean there have been other stranglings? Yes.
That's right.
Didn't you have a case Earlier this year-- An elderly woman Sarah? No, she wasn't strangled.
She just disappeared.
But I suppose anything's possible at this point.
Why would someone want to kill a number of street people? Can't the police help? Quite frankly, I don't think they care.
Nobody cares about the homeless.
Lady die does.
She's giving a concert for 'em on Friday night.
Birdie: That's nice.
But that's not going to stop whoever's the killer.
Well, I don't see Why they shouldn't treat everyone equally When it comes to a murder.
Would it make any difference to you If ryan and I spoke to the police, Maybe get some more information? Won't do any good.
Who knows? The fear of the unknown is always worse Than the actual thing.
Not always.
Female caucasian, Approximately Brown hair, Nasal passages clear, No trauma to the skull.
Cause of death appears to be asphyxiation Due to strangulation from a foreign object.
Lieutenant fishbein? Yeah? We called your office But they said you were here.
We wanted to talk to you About the homeless deaths.
We, um, heard You were in charge of the investigation.
You have, uh, some information regarding the case? Uh, no, I, um We were just wondering Why so many people are being murdered In our neighborhood.
(sighs) Oh, I love when you neighborhood watch people get involved.
Gives you a chance to see just how Impossible my job really is.
What are you doing about the cases? What do you expect? We're not miracle workers.
These people make perfect targets.
For what? It's not like They have any money or anything.
Fishbein: For sport.
For drill.
Somebody's taking target practice.
With a rope? There are a lot of sickos out there.
Dementos.
That's just the way it is in, uh, Real life.
But there were five murders in the park.
Maybe it's not as random as it seems.
Ah, well Give the girl a hand.
Ah, you wouldn't, uh, Exactly be planning on a career in, uh, law enforcement? No.
You see, Unless someone comes forward And says something, Or we get an eyewitness who sees something, Then there's not a whole hell of a lot we can do.
What's this? Right here.
This greenish stain on her neck.
You still here? You work without any facts? You want facts? Mm-hmm.
I'll give you facts.
Fact one: Whoever you two are, You're trespassing in a restricted area.
Fact two: If you don't get the hell outta here in two seconds, You'll be behind bars inside an hour.
Now, are there any other facts you'd care to know? Thank you for your time, lieutenant.
Yeah, thanks a lot.
There it is, ah, swapper's ivy.
I never heard of it.
Oh, it doesn't exist anymore.
At least I didn't think it did.
Let me see, it was indigenous to ireland, It was an evil plant, Or at least they thought it was.
They thought they burned it all.
Why do they call it "swapper's ivy"? Well, if you had it you could use it To trade for whatever you wanted.
Well, I don't see what swapper's ivy Could possibly have to do with uncle lewis' antiques.
Don't you limit your thinking, my girl.
It could be a part of absolutely anything.
A part of an antique, or a drawing, Or a painting, a picture, Tapestry-- who knows what.
Ah! Swapper's ivy.
"a porcelain cup, "no mark, white "with a hand-painted design Of swapper's ivy around the rim.
" A tea cup? Look, look, They sold it two years ago To a guy named fat eddy burrell.
Lives in hillsdale.
Looks like it's tea time.
(crickets chirp) (distant barking) You're sure this is the right place? Let's not go in.
Why? (door creaks) He obviously doesn't live here.
Nobody in their right mind would live here.
Micki, this is our only lead.
After you.
No, really, after you.
After you.
You're the man.
Don't push me.
(steps creaking) (door squeaks) (screams) Don't let your imagination get out of hand.
Look, nobody's lived here in a long time.
Ryan, let's go.
(gasps, shrieks) (micki screams) Guess they don't have to call him Fat eddy anymore, huh? Lady die: I don't want any pin spots.
What color gels are they putting in those? Number ten pink, like always.
Make those gels number ten pinks! You look terrific, babe.
Anyway, there's no audience tonight.
I got to go.
What about the sound check? I don't need this grief.
Whoa! What have we got here? Here.
Better have a cinnamon bun, too.
My wallet! Hey! Hey, you! Woman: A chilly night, isn't it? Would you like some tea? You look like you could use some.
That sounds mighty good to me.
Can I have some? No.
This is just for grown-ups.
Now run along.
What a pretty bracelet.
If you promise to leave, you can have it.
Okay.
Nothing like A good, hot cup of tea, is there? (choking) (wailing) (strangled moan) (garbled radio transmission) Tag it a "john doe.
" Did you recognize the body? No, he's not one of mine, thank god.
You wait here.
I'll bring the car.
You got some food? I'm sure we can find you some.
Where's your mommy and daddy? Birdie: You don't have a mommy or daddy, do you? Oh, my goodness! What's wrong? Birdie: That bracelet.
Where did you get that bracelet? It's mine.
That's sarah burrell's bracelet.
Sarah who? Birdie: Burrell, my missing person.
Any relation to fat eddy? That's her brother.
It's okay.
We won't hurt you.
I didn't steal't it.
Oh, nobody said you did.
Now, where did you get it? This lady give'd it to me.
Sarah What lady? The lady from last night.
Do you remember what she looked like? She was pretty, with hair like fire.
Oh, that's not sarah.
Sarah was over 70.
Her hair was white as snow.
Where was this lady, honey? Right here.
She was giving a man something to drink.
Out of this cup.
What man? The man who died.
I think You'd better come with us, little girl.
(tires screeching) What the? It's a horrible thing not to have anyone, not to be Loved, no matter what your age.
And on top of that, she witnessed a murder.
She must be terrified.
Could you get us a picture of that case of yours, Sarah burrell? I have one in the files.
Radio deejay: Okay, all you lady die fans.
Tonight, live from our downtown studio, The new queen of rock will tell us The inside story About her overnight success on the charts.
Until later, here's a taste Of what you'll get tomorrow night At the home-aide benefit concert.
(rock music plays) all right.
(volume increases) I'm a little teapot Excuse me! Hello? Ryan: What? What? Could we have a little less music, please? Oh, sorry, I thought birdie'd (volume decreases) Have trouble hearing it.
Just because you're older, Doesn't mean you're deaf.
then I shout tip me over what are you smiling at? Oh, nothing.
It's just if sarah were here, She'd be laughing at this song Right now.
Yeah, why's that? It's an old nursery rhyme She used to sing.
One of her favorites.
Ryan: She had hair like fire.
Micki: I can't believe what we're thinking.
I mean, how can somebody so old Become so young? It's possible, though.
It's happened before.
There's the legend of archimellides, for example, Wherein old age was exchanged for youth.
Remember, we're dealing with swapper's ivy.
Micki: So how does the cup work? Well, perhaps the ivy acts as a conductor.
You know, trading the victim's life force For the cup owner's age.
Anybody home? Oh, hi birdie.
We didn't hear you come in.
Uh, is that a new dress? What do you think? It's unusual-- unusually pretty.
What do you think, jack? Oh, I-I think it's very, uh, uh, different.
I was thinking we could go out.
Grab a bite or something? Now, I really would like to do that, birdie, But I'm awfully sorry.
I'm-I'm right in the middle of the most Crucial part of my experiment.
(clock tolls) In fact, I should be checking on it right now.
Maybe some other time, though.
He's just shy, that's all.
All men are "shy" around me.
Sarah had the same problem.
What are you doing? Ryan: Uh, nothing.
Just doodling.
Oh, I guess we all get older Sooner or later.
Even lady die will.
I think age is all in the mind.
Too bad you need a young mind to think that way.
(chimes tinkling) Jack, coast is clear! I think lady die and sarah Are one and the same.
Well, I think it's time you paid miss die a visit.
Absolutely.
But how are we supposed to find her? I know a thousand fans who would kill For that information, myself included.
Don't you ever listen to the radio when it's on? Hmm? Lady die is being interviewed on the david kay show Tonight, live.
And I'll print you up the proper credentials.
(rock music playing) like a fire raging out of control when it's over, let's all dance on the heat gets hotter like a lamb to the slaughter Does that hurt to sleep on? Only when I roll off my face.
you're gonna burn you're gonna burn (electric guitar solo) (car approaching) Excuse me.
(crowd murmuring) J.
D.
Mathers, rock icon magazine.
She'll lose that cover If we don't get those stills with david.
Tell us a little about tomorrow night's benefit.
It certainly is the biggest rock benefit this city's ever seen.
Well, david, I thought I'd do something For the homeless in this town, You know, bring a little warmth in their lives, Like the warmth my fans have given me.
Now we're gonna have a little taste Of the lady's new cd, dying for love.
Enjoy.
("I'm a little teapot" intro plays) You're doing great, babe.
Everything okay? Look a little tired.
here is my handle, here is my spout Hey.
Who are you? J.
D.
We're here to talk to you about lady die.
We're sorry to barge in, But it's important we talk to you.
What the hell is this? Security.
That's not necessary.
It's not what you think.
It's about sarah.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Get these two outta here! (shouting) Just ask lady die about the cup.
Man: Come on, buddy, come on.
Out.
No, not now.
Sarah? (bystanders murmuring) tip me over and pour me out.
Lady die looked a little older In person, don't you think? A lot older.
I bet she went to the park.
You got the keys? No, no, no, I'll I'll drive.
No, no, I'll drive.
No, really, I'll drive, really.
No.
No I'm the chauffeur.
No, no, the only reason I let you drive Is because you look better in the uniform.
Chauvinist! (whistling) (engine starts) Care for a drink? The cup! Waif: I'm a little teapot, short and stout here is my handle, here is my spout when I get all steamed up, hear me shout tip me over and pour me out.
(crickets chirping) (owl hoots) What was that? I don't know.
Come on, the more you think about it, The worse it's gonna be.
Look, I can't help it.
No matter how many times we do this, I can't believe the impossible as quickly as you.
Believe it.
Lady die is sarah, the old lady.
Why else would she run when we mentioned the cup? (sighs) So, she's killed at least a half a dozen people In this very park, And she's gonna keep on killing to stay young.
Or to keep us from getting it back.
Look, we've got until tomorrow night's concert.
That's it.
After that, she starts her tour.
Well, that doesn't give us very much time.
Ryan! (heavy breathing) (owl hooting) Where is it?! (owl hoots) Look.
(screaming) Sorry, sorry.
Really.
I'm sorry.
I thought you were someone else.
Look, lady die might not have come here after all.
The last two murders were here.
Why would she go somewhere else? Let's hope she thinks the same way we do.
We gotta stop her.
(owl hooting) (owl hooting) (humming "I'm a little teapot") (branches rustling) (owl hooting) (branch snaps) It's okay.
It's me.
Don't worry.
I could've caught her.
I didn't want to hog all the glory.
Would you believe me if I told you That teacup really belonged to us? No way.
I didn't think so.
Would you believe me if I promised To trade you that cup for a hot meal, A real bed, And a cup that's almost as pretty? Please? Thank you.
You got any potato chips? Are you kidding? You're looking at the potato chip king.
We got barbecue, salt & vinegar, Sour cream and onion.
(knocking) Thank god! Where were you? We had a little negotiation with kristin here.
The cup.
Are there any clean sheets upstairs? Oh, there sure are.
(chuckles) (chimes tinkling) (chuckling) Say, I'm starving.
Where are those potato chips? Jack: In your room, probably.
Okay.
(light switches clicking) (door rattling) See? We'll get the bed all comfortable for you, Turn that back And you can sleep with my rabbit.
Who ate all the chips? I think it was one of your friends.
Oh, charming.
Right where we kept the bread.
How about if I whip up one of my famous tuna casseroles? Ooh, how does that sound to you? What's a casserole? Well, in this particular case, I'm not sure you want to know.
(chimes jingling) Micki! Jack! Oh, no Ryan, you all right? Yeah, I'm fine.
The cup-- it's gone! What?! Oh Take me to the park.
Somebody took the teacup? I'm afraid so.
Does that mean I won't be able to live here anymore? Kristin, I don't think this would be a very good place For you to live anyway.
But that doesn't mean that you can't stay here for awhile.
It's just We'll find you a home.
A good home.
I promise.
(crickets chirping) Excuse me? (sighs) Would you like to join me for a nightcap? (sniffles) (owl hooting in distance) It gets lonely out here sometimes, doesn't it? (sniffles) It gets lonely no matter where you are.
Oh.
(owl hooting) No! No.
Let's be civilized.
(sighs) (sniffles) Now, let's see who's an old Fool.
Here's to happiness And health And youth.
(owl hooting in distance) (shallow breathing) Oh, no! Hey, lady! (crying): What-what am I doing? Beats the hell out of me.
(crying) (sobbing) You okay? (sobbing) Come on.
Nobody likes to drink alone.
(sobbing) (laughs) It had to have been lady die you saw.
Well, I just can't believe it was her under that stocking.
Why not? Because she moved slow, Like she was birdie's age or something.
Perhaps the longer she goes without using the cup To make swaps, the more she ages.
Exactly.
So it was sarah you were looking at, not die.
And as for her moving slowly, I'd check your own speed, mr.
Out-of-shape.
Maybe she wouldn't have gotten away.
Hey, hey, hey, don't lay this Off on me.
Why didn't you halt the cup? Because I was putting kristen to bed, Not rushing to feed my face! Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, right.
Hey! Hey, hey, time.
Take it easy.
We're all getting a little worn down.
Let's try to think this out rationally.
All right, let's assume That it was lady die, a.
K.
A.
Sarah, who paid us the visit.
What else do we know? Well, she has a concert in less than 24 hours.
It's the start of her first north american tour.
Micki: And there's something else you can be Pretty sure of-- if we don't get to her, She'll have killed again.
(sniffing) Well, I better be starting my rounds now.
The bagel shop ought to be tossing out a few rejects.
Thanks for talking to me all night.
I needed the company.
My pleasure.
Hey, you're pretty cool for an old lady.
I guess it's 'cause I don't feel like one anymore.
(laughs) (sniffing) (grunts) (sniffles) (sighs) (coins clinking) (phone ringing through) Ryan, this is birdie.
I have something of yours that I'd like to return.
(tires squeak) (engine starting) Where is she? I told her to stay put until we got here.
Damn it! She can't have gone far.
Let's each take a path, huh? (loud, frantic breathing) (whimpering) (birdie whimpering and crying) Oh, lord.
Oh, god.
(crying) (gasps) Oh, god.
(screaming) (screams) (loud thud) See anything? (panting) Oh, my god.
Freeze! This isn't what it looks like.
Let me guess.
You've been framed.
Cuff 'em.
We didn't do this! She's alive.
Radio the paramedics.
Listen to me! We have a pretty good idea who did do it.
It was lady die, the singer.
And she's probably still here in the park.
She's gonna kill again.
Sure, she is.
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will be used against you In a court of law.
(touch tones pressing) (phone ringing through) Langley: Hello.
Langley, it's me.
Who is this? Lady die, you idiot.
Die, thank god.
It doesn't sound like you.
You haven't cancelled the show, have you? I was just about to.
Where the hell are you? None of your business.
Relax.
I'll make it to the concert.
What is going on? I'll tell you later.
Just don't cancel the show.
(click, dial tone) She's our friend.
You're making a big mistake.
Yeah, well you better hope Your friend is able to prove me wrong.
(garbled radio transmission) Dispatcher: Five five seven lennox avenue.
(garbled radio transmission) Pardon me.
Young man.
Hmm? Would you care For a nice cup of tea on this fine morning? Hey, yeah, sure, lady.
I'm sorry.
This doesn't belong To you.
No! No! No! No! Crowd (chanting): We want die, we want die! Die, die, it's ten after.
They want you, babe.
Lady die: Don't come in.
Okay, okay.
I'll be out in a second.
Crowd: We want die, we want die! We want die, we want die! We want die, we want die! We're going to have to try to steal it When she goes onstage.
We want die! Ryan, micki.
You don't have to do anything.
I've got the cup.
How is she going to perform? What's going on here? Crowd: We want die! We want die, we want die! Die.
Lady die: It's show time.
(crowd chanting) (chanting fades) Jack, did you work the bugs out of this? Actually, bugs are what I've put into it.
What do you mean? Well, I've substituted Dehydrated insects for the ginseng.
It gives me a higher concentration of protein.
And look, no more nymphomania, double the energy.
This experiment went terribly wrong.
(chuckles) Oh, we are in the presence of royalty.
I don't know, I think potato chips Are way below your standards now.
(chuckles) (chimes tinkling) No way.
(laughs) Hello, everybody.
Birdie, you look wonderful.
You look like a little princess.
Do you know that? You haven't changed your mind, Have you? Of course not, silly.
Do you want to play tea party? (all laugh)
I just thought you might like a cup of hot tea On a sticky night like this.
You know what they say-- Nothing like a hot drink to cool ya off.
Who are you? I'm nobody.
Just like you.
(owl hooting) (hooting continues) Thanks.
(gasping) (gagging) (choking) (sighs) (rock music playing) the fire of you still burns deep in the night and the rules of desire take me higher higher (new wave rhythm playing) What the hell was that? (music stops) man: It's a new patch jojo laid in.
We all loved it.
Oh, yeah? Well, I hate it.
So dump it, teddy, and no more surprises.
You just blew my whole vocal.
Your wish is my command.
You look lovely, doll.
Oh, don't shmear me, langley.
You'll get your commission anyway.
These publicity shots just came in.
Thought you might like To take a look at 'em.
I kind of like This one.
Ugh.
Nah, I look too old.
This one's okay.
It's my second choice.
(polaroid humming) So how're we doing with Friday night's concert? Are the bleeping androids confirmed yet? It's gotta be right, dead right.
I think we oughta discuss it a little more.
What's to talk about? I thought we did all the talking.
Well, babe, You did all the talking.
What I mean is, if you want to have a benefit Concert, that's your business.
But at least make sure they cover the costs.
Hey, I'm the one up there working my butt off.
What I say goes.
It's my way Or the doorway.
Take it easy, love.
How's it gonna look to the press if I'm chintzy On my own first benefit? Not great.
(pinball machine beeping) I gotta hand it to you, babe, A benefit concert will really put you on the map.
But why the homeless? Because I want to, okay? All right, all right.
I'm sorry I brought it up.
I just wanted to express my opinion.
It's what you pay me for, right? Yeah, my paying you seems like another act of charity.
Teddy: We dumped the track, die.
Ready whenever you are.
(door slams) (rock music playing) the heat gets hotter like a lamb to the slaughter I've got them, jack! Hey, micki, check this out! An original pressing of mighty thunder live from japan! Micki: Never heard of them.
Ryan: What'd you say? I said you're gonna burn (sighs) (music stops) that's better.
I take it you're not into lady die.
Oh, I have no problem with her.
It's deafness I'm concerned with.
That's the only way To get the full effect.
You're acting like you're 60 or something.
Since when did you become such an old bag? (chimes jingling) hi, everybody.
The old bag's here with your curtains.
Oh, birdie, you shouldn't have.
Oh, I wanted to.
Now that you've all moved in here, I thought maybe it might spruce up the place a bit.
I even hemmed and pressed them.
It's They're very nice.
No doubt about it.
The lady's toasted for jack.
Something tells me the feeling is not mutual.
Looks like he needs a little bailing out.
What are you doing? Oh, just, uh, working on a protein drink.
You mean for energy? Yes, it-it stimulates The flow of blood to the brain which sharpens the, uh, Perceptual senses And it-it's very healthy and organic.
Ryan: Wow.
Pretty cool, jack.
Yes, well there's still some side effects I have To do some work on.
Besides the protein stimulation, It seems to be having a mild aphrodisiac effect.
Now you're on to something.
If you can just get rid of the protein part, You'll be doing just fine.
Hmm? If you need a guinea pig, I'll be glad to try some.
It doesn't look like that'll be necessary, birdie.
Looks like the rats are partying just fine.
(stammering): I wouldn't want to put you at risk, But, thank you for the offer.
Sure.
I understand.
That's disgusting! Here are your wood chips.
You might as well let them Fool around on something clean.
Care for some coffee, birdie? Oh, thanks.
I'd love some.
I was up all night.
Oh, how come? There was another murder in the park.
Young runaway.
Couldn't have been much younger than you.
Poor sweet thing.
One of your cases? I had to identify the body.
It was awful.
You think you've seen it all at my age, But it still gets to me.
No family, No friends.
Imagine dying And the only one who knows you is some social worker.
Yeah, what happened to her? Oh, no one knows.
The police won't say a thing.
It's all very strange.
She was strangled by a rope or something.
The worst is, she's not the first.
You mean there have been other stranglings? Yes.
That's right.
Didn't you have a case Earlier this year-- An elderly woman Sarah? No, she wasn't strangled.
She just disappeared.
But I suppose anything's possible at this point.
Why would someone want to kill a number of street people? Can't the police help? Quite frankly, I don't think they care.
Nobody cares about the homeless.
Lady die does.
She's giving a concert for 'em on Friday night.
Birdie: That's nice.
But that's not going to stop whoever's the killer.
Well, I don't see Why they shouldn't treat everyone equally When it comes to a murder.
Would it make any difference to you If ryan and I spoke to the police, Maybe get some more information? Won't do any good.
Who knows? The fear of the unknown is always worse Than the actual thing.
Not always.
Female caucasian, Approximately Brown hair, Nasal passages clear, No trauma to the skull.
Cause of death appears to be asphyxiation Due to strangulation from a foreign object.
Lieutenant fishbein? Yeah? We called your office But they said you were here.
We wanted to talk to you About the homeless deaths.
We, um, heard You were in charge of the investigation.
You have, uh, some information regarding the case? Uh, no, I, um We were just wondering Why so many people are being murdered In our neighborhood.
(sighs) Oh, I love when you neighborhood watch people get involved.
Gives you a chance to see just how Impossible my job really is.
What are you doing about the cases? What do you expect? We're not miracle workers.
These people make perfect targets.
For what? It's not like They have any money or anything.
Fishbein: For sport.
For drill.
Somebody's taking target practice.
With a rope? There are a lot of sickos out there.
Dementos.
That's just the way it is in, uh, Real life.
But there were five murders in the park.
Maybe it's not as random as it seems.
Ah, well Give the girl a hand.
Ah, you wouldn't, uh, Exactly be planning on a career in, uh, law enforcement? No.
You see, Unless someone comes forward And says something, Or we get an eyewitness who sees something, Then there's not a whole hell of a lot we can do.
What's this? Right here.
This greenish stain on her neck.
You still here? You work without any facts? You want facts? Mm-hmm.
I'll give you facts.
Fact one: Whoever you two are, You're trespassing in a restricted area.
Fact two: If you don't get the hell outta here in two seconds, You'll be behind bars inside an hour.
Now, are there any other facts you'd care to know? Thank you for your time, lieutenant.
Yeah, thanks a lot.
There it is, ah, swapper's ivy.
I never heard of it.
Oh, it doesn't exist anymore.
At least I didn't think it did.
Let me see, it was indigenous to ireland, It was an evil plant, Or at least they thought it was.
They thought they burned it all.
Why do they call it "swapper's ivy"? Well, if you had it you could use it To trade for whatever you wanted.
Well, I don't see what swapper's ivy Could possibly have to do with uncle lewis' antiques.
Don't you limit your thinking, my girl.
It could be a part of absolutely anything.
A part of an antique, or a drawing, Or a painting, a picture, Tapestry-- who knows what.
Ah! Swapper's ivy.
"a porcelain cup, "no mark, white "with a hand-painted design Of swapper's ivy around the rim.
" A tea cup? Look, look, They sold it two years ago To a guy named fat eddy burrell.
Lives in hillsdale.
Looks like it's tea time.
(crickets chirp) (distant barking) You're sure this is the right place? Let's not go in.
Why? (door creaks) He obviously doesn't live here.
Nobody in their right mind would live here.
Micki, this is our only lead.
After you.
No, really, after you.
After you.
You're the man.
Don't push me.
(steps creaking) (door squeaks) (screams) Don't let your imagination get out of hand.
Look, nobody's lived here in a long time.
Ryan, let's go.
(gasps, shrieks) (micki screams) Guess they don't have to call him Fat eddy anymore, huh? Lady die: I don't want any pin spots.
What color gels are they putting in those? Number ten pink, like always.
Make those gels number ten pinks! You look terrific, babe.
Anyway, there's no audience tonight.
I got to go.
What about the sound check? I don't need this grief.
Whoa! What have we got here? Here.
Better have a cinnamon bun, too.
My wallet! Hey! Hey, you! Woman: A chilly night, isn't it? Would you like some tea? You look like you could use some.
That sounds mighty good to me.
Can I have some? No.
This is just for grown-ups.
Now run along.
What a pretty bracelet.
If you promise to leave, you can have it.
Okay.
Nothing like A good, hot cup of tea, is there? (choking) (wailing) (strangled moan) (garbled radio transmission) Tag it a "john doe.
" Did you recognize the body? No, he's not one of mine, thank god.
You wait here.
I'll bring the car.
You got some food? I'm sure we can find you some.
Where's your mommy and daddy? Birdie: You don't have a mommy or daddy, do you? Oh, my goodness! What's wrong? Birdie: That bracelet.
Where did you get that bracelet? It's mine.
That's sarah burrell's bracelet.
Sarah who? Birdie: Burrell, my missing person.
Any relation to fat eddy? That's her brother.
It's okay.
We won't hurt you.
I didn't steal't it.
Oh, nobody said you did.
Now, where did you get it? This lady give'd it to me.
Sarah What lady? The lady from last night.
Do you remember what she looked like? She was pretty, with hair like fire.
Oh, that's not sarah.
Sarah was over 70.
Her hair was white as snow.
Where was this lady, honey? Right here.
She was giving a man something to drink.
Out of this cup.
What man? The man who died.
I think You'd better come with us, little girl.
(tires screeching) What the? It's a horrible thing not to have anyone, not to be Loved, no matter what your age.
And on top of that, she witnessed a murder.
She must be terrified.
Could you get us a picture of that case of yours, Sarah burrell? I have one in the files.
Radio deejay: Okay, all you lady die fans.
Tonight, live from our downtown studio, The new queen of rock will tell us The inside story About her overnight success on the charts.
Until later, here's a taste Of what you'll get tomorrow night At the home-aide benefit concert.
(rock music plays) all right.
(volume increases) I'm a little teapot Excuse me! Hello? Ryan: What? What? Could we have a little less music, please? Oh, sorry, I thought birdie'd (volume decreases) Have trouble hearing it.
Just because you're older, Doesn't mean you're deaf.
then I shout tip me over what are you smiling at? Oh, nothing.
It's just if sarah were here, She'd be laughing at this song Right now.
Yeah, why's that? It's an old nursery rhyme She used to sing.
One of her favorites.
Ryan: She had hair like fire.
Micki: I can't believe what we're thinking.
I mean, how can somebody so old Become so young? It's possible, though.
It's happened before.
There's the legend of archimellides, for example, Wherein old age was exchanged for youth.
Remember, we're dealing with swapper's ivy.
Micki: So how does the cup work? Well, perhaps the ivy acts as a conductor.
You know, trading the victim's life force For the cup owner's age.
Anybody home? Oh, hi birdie.
We didn't hear you come in.
Uh, is that a new dress? What do you think? It's unusual-- unusually pretty.
What do you think, jack? Oh, I-I think it's very, uh, uh, different.
I was thinking we could go out.
Grab a bite or something? Now, I really would like to do that, birdie, But I'm awfully sorry.
I'm-I'm right in the middle of the most Crucial part of my experiment.
(clock tolls) In fact, I should be checking on it right now.
Maybe some other time, though.
He's just shy, that's all.
All men are "shy" around me.
Sarah had the same problem.
What are you doing? Ryan: Uh, nothing.
Just doodling.
Oh, I guess we all get older Sooner or later.
Even lady die will.
I think age is all in the mind.
Too bad you need a young mind to think that way.
(chimes tinkling) Jack, coast is clear! I think lady die and sarah Are one and the same.
Well, I think it's time you paid miss die a visit.
Absolutely.
But how are we supposed to find her? I know a thousand fans who would kill For that information, myself included.
Don't you ever listen to the radio when it's on? Hmm? Lady die is being interviewed on the david kay show Tonight, live.
And I'll print you up the proper credentials.
(rock music playing) like a fire raging out of control when it's over, let's all dance on the heat gets hotter like a lamb to the slaughter Does that hurt to sleep on? Only when I roll off my face.
you're gonna burn you're gonna burn (electric guitar solo) (car approaching) Excuse me.
(crowd murmuring) J.
D.
Mathers, rock icon magazine.
She'll lose that cover If we don't get those stills with david.
Tell us a little about tomorrow night's benefit.
It certainly is the biggest rock benefit this city's ever seen.
Well, david, I thought I'd do something For the homeless in this town, You know, bring a little warmth in their lives, Like the warmth my fans have given me.
Now we're gonna have a little taste Of the lady's new cd, dying for love.
Enjoy.
("I'm a little teapot" intro plays) You're doing great, babe.
Everything okay? Look a little tired.
here is my handle, here is my spout Hey.
Who are you? J.
D.
We're here to talk to you about lady die.
We're sorry to barge in, But it's important we talk to you.
What the hell is this? Security.
That's not necessary.
It's not what you think.
It's about sarah.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Get these two outta here! (shouting) Just ask lady die about the cup.
Man: Come on, buddy, come on.
Out.
No, not now.
Sarah? (bystanders murmuring) tip me over and pour me out.
Lady die looked a little older In person, don't you think? A lot older.
I bet she went to the park.
You got the keys? No, no, no, I'll I'll drive.
No, no, I'll drive.
No, really, I'll drive, really.
No.
No I'm the chauffeur.
No, no, the only reason I let you drive Is because you look better in the uniform.
Chauvinist! (whistling) (engine starts) Care for a drink? The cup! Waif: I'm a little teapot, short and stout here is my handle, here is my spout when I get all steamed up, hear me shout tip me over and pour me out.
(crickets chirping) (owl hoots) What was that? I don't know.
Come on, the more you think about it, The worse it's gonna be.
Look, I can't help it.
No matter how many times we do this, I can't believe the impossible as quickly as you.
Believe it.
Lady die is sarah, the old lady.
Why else would she run when we mentioned the cup? (sighs) So, she's killed at least a half a dozen people In this very park, And she's gonna keep on killing to stay young.
Or to keep us from getting it back.
Look, we've got until tomorrow night's concert.
That's it.
After that, she starts her tour.
Well, that doesn't give us very much time.
Ryan! (heavy breathing) (owl hooting) Where is it?! (owl hoots) Look.
(screaming) Sorry, sorry.
Really.
I'm sorry.
I thought you were someone else.
Look, lady die might not have come here after all.
The last two murders were here.
Why would she go somewhere else? Let's hope she thinks the same way we do.
We gotta stop her.
(owl hooting) (owl hooting) (humming "I'm a little teapot") (branches rustling) (owl hooting) (branch snaps) It's okay.
It's me.
Don't worry.
I could've caught her.
I didn't want to hog all the glory.
Would you believe me if I told you That teacup really belonged to us? No way.
I didn't think so.
Would you believe me if I promised To trade you that cup for a hot meal, A real bed, And a cup that's almost as pretty? Please? Thank you.
You got any potato chips? Are you kidding? You're looking at the potato chip king.
We got barbecue, salt & vinegar, Sour cream and onion.
(knocking) Thank god! Where were you? We had a little negotiation with kristin here.
The cup.
Are there any clean sheets upstairs? Oh, there sure are.
(chuckles) (chimes tinkling) (chuckling) Say, I'm starving.
Where are those potato chips? Jack: In your room, probably.
Okay.
(light switches clicking) (door rattling) See? We'll get the bed all comfortable for you, Turn that back And you can sleep with my rabbit.
Who ate all the chips? I think it was one of your friends.
Oh, charming.
Right where we kept the bread.
How about if I whip up one of my famous tuna casseroles? Ooh, how does that sound to you? What's a casserole? Well, in this particular case, I'm not sure you want to know.
(chimes jingling) Micki! Jack! Oh, no Ryan, you all right? Yeah, I'm fine.
The cup-- it's gone! What?! Oh Take me to the park.
Somebody took the teacup? I'm afraid so.
Does that mean I won't be able to live here anymore? Kristin, I don't think this would be a very good place For you to live anyway.
But that doesn't mean that you can't stay here for awhile.
It's just We'll find you a home.
A good home.
I promise.
(crickets chirping) Excuse me? (sighs) Would you like to join me for a nightcap? (sniffles) (owl hooting in distance) It gets lonely out here sometimes, doesn't it? (sniffles) It gets lonely no matter where you are.
Oh.
(owl hooting) No! No.
Let's be civilized.
(sighs) (sniffles) Now, let's see who's an old Fool.
Here's to happiness And health And youth.
(owl hooting in distance) (shallow breathing) Oh, no! Hey, lady! (crying): What-what am I doing? Beats the hell out of me.
(crying) (sobbing) You okay? (sobbing) Come on.
Nobody likes to drink alone.
(sobbing) (laughs) It had to have been lady die you saw.
Well, I just can't believe it was her under that stocking.
Why not? Because she moved slow, Like she was birdie's age or something.
Perhaps the longer she goes without using the cup To make swaps, the more she ages.
Exactly.
So it was sarah you were looking at, not die.
And as for her moving slowly, I'd check your own speed, mr.
Out-of-shape.
Maybe she wouldn't have gotten away.
Hey, hey, hey, don't lay this Off on me.
Why didn't you halt the cup? Because I was putting kristen to bed, Not rushing to feed my face! Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, right.
Hey! Hey, hey, time.
Take it easy.
We're all getting a little worn down.
Let's try to think this out rationally.
All right, let's assume That it was lady die, a.
K.
A.
Sarah, who paid us the visit.
What else do we know? Well, she has a concert in less than 24 hours.
It's the start of her first north american tour.
Micki: And there's something else you can be Pretty sure of-- if we don't get to her, She'll have killed again.
(sniffing) Well, I better be starting my rounds now.
The bagel shop ought to be tossing out a few rejects.
Thanks for talking to me all night.
I needed the company.
My pleasure.
Hey, you're pretty cool for an old lady.
I guess it's 'cause I don't feel like one anymore.
(laughs) (sniffing) (grunts) (sniffles) (sighs) (coins clinking) (phone ringing through) Ryan, this is birdie.
I have something of yours that I'd like to return.
(tires squeak) (engine starting) Where is she? I told her to stay put until we got here.
Damn it! She can't have gone far.
Let's each take a path, huh? (loud, frantic breathing) (whimpering) (birdie whimpering and crying) Oh, lord.
Oh, god.
(crying) (gasps) Oh, god.
(screaming) (screams) (loud thud) See anything? (panting) Oh, my god.
Freeze! This isn't what it looks like.
Let me guess.
You've been framed.
Cuff 'em.
We didn't do this! She's alive.
Radio the paramedics.
Listen to me! We have a pretty good idea who did do it.
It was lady die, the singer.
And she's probably still here in the park.
She's gonna kill again.
Sure, she is.
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will be used against you In a court of law.
(touch tones pressing) (phone ringing through) Langley: Hello.
Langley, it's me.
Who is this? Lady die, you idiot.
Die, thank god.
It doesn't sound like you.
You haven't cancelled the show, have you? I was just about to.
Where the hell are you? None of your business.
Relax.
I'll make it to the concert.
What is going on? I'll tell you later.
Just don't cancel the show.
(click, dial tone) She's our friend.
You're making a big mistake.
Yeah, well you better hope Your friend is able to prove me wrong.
(garbled radio transmission) Dispatcher: Five five seven lennox avenue.
(garbled radio transmission) Pardon me.
Young man.
Hmm? Would you care For a nice cup of tea on this fine morning? Hey, yeah, sure, lady.
I'm sorry.
This doesn't belong To you.
No! No! No! No! Crowd (chanting): We want die, we want die! Die, die, it's ten after.
They want you, babe.
Lady die: Don't come in.
Okay, okay.
I'll be out in a second.
Crowd: We want die, we want die! We want die, we want die! We want die, we want die! We're going to have to try to steal it When she goes onstage.
We want die! Ryan, micki.
You don't have to do anything.
I've got the cup.
How is she going to perform? What's going on here? Crowd: We want die! We want die, we want die! Die.
Lady die: It's show time.
(crowd chanting) (chanting fades) Jack, did you work the bugs out of this? Actually, bugs are what I've put into it.
What do you mean? Well, I've substituted Dehydrated insects for the ginseng.
It gives me a higher concentration of protein.
And look, no more nymphomania, double the energy.
This experiment went terribly wrong.
(chuckles) Oh, we are in the presence of royalty.
I don't know, I think potato chips Are way below your standards now.
(chuckles) (chimes tinkling) No way.
(laughs) Hello, everybody.
Birdie, you look wonderful.
You look like a little princess.
Do you know that? You haven't changed your mind, Have you? Of course not, silly.
Do you want to play tea party? (all laugh)