Greek s01e04 Episode Script

Previously on Greek You gotta be pretty smart to get in the engineering program.
- How'd you know? - This is the honors engineering floor.
I found out you had sex with Evan Chambers.
I did, rush night, and it was amazing! Evan Chambers is my boyfriend.
How awkward for you.
So what do I do? You do what you need to do to make it right in your mind.
You guys play football? I played for a year in little league.
We could kick your ass at anything - Really? - Yeah, we could.
I'm not gay.
We were just drunk.
- Who sent it? - I bet it's from Rebecca.
She didn't do this.
Someone else is holding the camera.
- I'll delete it.
- No, wait.
Where'd you get that? I'm willing to bet you didn't get attention from your dad growing up.
Wanna get his attention now? Howe comes up from the outside, setting up his shot.
Shoots! You might want to aim away from the goal next time.
I'm improving though.
That's all that matters.
Did you know during his 20-year career in the NHL, Wayne Gretzky scored 894 goals, had 1,963 assists? That's 2,857 points.
No.
- I didn't know you were so into hockey.
- I'm not.
I've never even watched a game before.
But I've never played beer pong before either.
Yeah, don't remind me.
The Kappa Tau's first floor hockey game of the season is today, I just want to be ready.
It's just intramural sports.
I know.
But I never really got to play sports in high school.
This is something I feel like I can really do Playing sports with the guys.
Doing guy stuff.
Yeah, enjoy your guy thing, Gretzky.
I gotta get back to the house.
Aren't you gonna play for the Omega Chis? Nah, sounds like work.
Open net, Rusty Cartwright all by himself, setting up his shot.
He shoots! How 'bout giving me a two-minute head start? Sorry.
I asked for a sumatra with a splash of soy, not a latte with whole.
You don't want me to get fat, do you? Get? What? Question.
If I wanted to leak a sex video onto the internet, could I do that straight from my phone? Nothing starts the day off right like that first cup of joe.
After all, your first is always the best, don't you agree? The one that's the most special? The one you can never avoid? The one you can never forget.
You guys are way into your coffee.
Pardon I spy a tasty morning muffin.
Top o' the mornin', muffin.
Ready to get slaughtered by the Lambda sigs? You're forgetting the fact that we have the Beaver, the number-one recruit for CRU Football.
And the Lambda sigs have numbers 2 through 30.
Never discount the underdog.
Here you go.
Try this.
I think I want an iced coffee.
Might I recommend a Cappie-cino? Go play your sports.
GREEK 1x04 "Picking Teams" Special thanks to Gaillots seriessub.
com Is that you? Do you think I can get a chance to play? I'm ready.
I've been practicing.
Can you see those huge guys out there with the sticks? Good, because I can't.
Which might be a sign of a concussion.
Wait, there they are.
Be right back I can't get past their new goalie.
- That guy's a friggin' machine.
- Come on, Beav, the Kappa Taus never say die.
The Kappa Taus are dead.
It looks like we're going to be going up against the lambda sigs next round.
O'toole, will you do me a favor and do some recon work on that goalie? As athletic support liaison for Omega Chi, it's my job to solicit ideas on how I can effectively support you.
Bake cookies, paint signs.
How 'bout a pep rally? How about just this? Good, 'cause I hate baking cookies.
I mean, how hard is it to embroider ZBZ hearts Omega Chi on a polo? I could make some calls for you.
Casey will figure it out.
She's always my point for special projects.
Do you think I could put my name into the mix for an assignment? Sweetie, pledges don't get assignments.
I was just thinking that you might make an exception, considering my political experience and my dad's house in Jackson Hole.
Could be fun for a committee retreat.
I do look really good après ski.
Let me ponder.
What's the story with the scruffy Kappa Tau who looks like Rob Thomas? - He was talking to casey this morning.
- Oh, God! He just can't get over it.
Casey made the mistake of dating Cappie freshman year.
He's ridiculous, has no discernable goals.
We considered with holding her activation because of that unholy alliance.
Luckily she came to her senses and dumped him.
I love learning about my big sis.
You! Time-out! All right We're down three goals, there's a minute left in the game.
There's only one thing we can do.
Start drinking now.
This game's over.
Pledge.
Yes, sir.
All fours, please.
Thank you.
Hey, Rudy Hop in, don't die.
Okay, you got it.
You the man, Spitter! They're putting Rusty in? - This should be good.
- It's gonna be bad.
Very, very bad.
I think we met on rush night.
Great.
You ready for pain? Is that a trick question? - Is that over? - Yeah! Nice going, Spitter.
You just scored against your own team.
You're an idiot! They really should mark those? I said take off the mask! The Lambda sigs are disqualified for the improper use of a professional athlete Marty McSorely.
The Kappa Taus will play the Omega Chis.
On your feet, pledge Owens! Dad? Unbelievable.
Of course, we did a better job at keeping it clean.
But you goats will learn.
What are you doing here? I believe that's my line.
I've been in college four weeks.
Are you suffering from invasion of privacy withdrawal? It's the first weekend of the IM Sports season.
I thought I'd come watch you play.
Imagine my surprise when I went to the gym, and you were nowhere to be found.
I guess I forgot.
You loved hockey in high school.
Look, our agreement required me to pledge your fraternity.
All right? That's all.
Do they know? No.
And I'm not planning on telling them.
This couldn't be the same chair.
I was dating this ZBZ Hilary - What's her face - Dad I won't get into details, - but let's just - Let's just stop right there.
A singing beaver, now I've seen everything.
Muffin! I missed you.
Tell me about you The Kappa Taus Cappie.
Kappa Taus win On a technicality shocker.
Don't worry, we'll beat you gals fair and square.
Like you've ever beaten us at anything.
One word Beer pong.
You are a joke, do you know that? Your a jerk off.
No, it's all right, beaver.
I mean if Spitter can take him down with a paddle, I think I can take care of myself.
It's just too bad you couldn't take care of Casey.
Now why'd you have to go and bring that up? He took care of her all night long during rush.
Down, beav! I'll see you on the court.
I bought a ton of stuff to rally the Omega Chis.
Pledge Rebecca, would you unload my car, please? I'll let you two talk first.
Come sit, let's chat.
Lemonade? Sure.
Now that the game is going to be between the Omega Chis and the Kappa Taus, I have some concerns about our athletic support program.
That's some lemonade.
I feel like this is my fault, even though it isn't.
When I told you to even the score with Evan, I meant go find some cute barrista without a last name Not your skeezy ex.
What are you talking about? Rebecca heard it from something called "the Beaver.
" Apparently he announced it after the game, in front of everyone.
Including Evan.
Oh, God.
She felt awful telling me, but she did it to protect you.
And us.
There's a potential conflict of interest here.
Wait, are you questioning my loyalty? I'm not, sweetie, but it's about outside perception.
I have decided to have Rebecca replace you as athletic support liaison until this whole thing blows over.
She's a pledge.
She has a lot of ideas about how to take it to the next level.
But she's a pledge.
You're replacing me with a pledge? Casey, let me impart for a second.
An important aspect of being a leader is the ability to manage your mistakes.
Remember when Cheney shot that man in the face? He went underground for a couple days in a bunker, laid low, and before you know it, the guy he shot was apologizing to him.
Genius, right? Yes, but I'm just trying to help you.
Please, for your own good, go underground.
I was thinking maybe I can be more useful on defense.
It's a big game, Spitter.
It's bigger than all of us.
The classic battle between good and Evan.
Beer pong started a winning streak against the Omega Chis that I'm ready to defend to the death.
I did win at beer pong.
Absolutely.
You're the MVP of beer pong.
We gotta put our good guys in this time around to destroy Evan Chambers.
I know Evan's a jerk, but what'd he do to you? We go way back.
I've hated Evan for almost two years now, since we roomed together freshman year.
What happened freshman year? Long story.
But you understand as much as anyone that kicking Evan's ass can only mean good things.
So that's what we have to do.
I want to help.
Spitter, do you know the most important part of any athletic organization? Morale? Hydration.
You want me to be the water boy? Team hydration facilitator.
Remember, it's not what your fraternity can do for you, but what you can't do for your fraternity.
And you just cannot play floor hockey.
It's what you can do for your fraternity.
It's affirmative.
That's the spirit! the Kappa Taus aren't as much of a threat as the lambda sigs, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't bring our best game.
That is why I've asked our distinguished alum coach Roger Owens to help us train.
Good luck, coach.
Whether it's the rose bowl or intramurals, the story's the same.
A team wins because everyone's on the same page.
A team is only as strong as each individual player.
Which is why I'd like to tell you a little bit about my son, pledge Owens.
Father Owens, can I talk to you for a second? Trust me, you don't need to hide who you are.
Gentlemen, my son has a secret - he needs to share.
- No, I don't.
It's okay, Calvin, these walls are sacred.
Calvin's not just an ordinary pledge.
He's different.
Calvin is An all-state hockey player.
You gotta put him on the team! Does it need some glitter? I was kind of going with a pink and green theme.
Something more like this.
Wait, that's not right.
Hey, little sis, can I have a word? What's up, big sis? If you think you can come between Frannie and me I feel for you and your sad situation, but Frannie appointed me because she couldn't trust you.
I'm just doing what Frannie feels is the best thing for Zeta Beta.
You didn't even want to come to Zeta Beta in the first place.
But I'm here now, because of you.
Ironic, isn't it? I've spent the past 18 years of my life as the beautiful daughter of my father's political machine.
And I think it's time I start machine of my own.
And who knows, maybe I'll be the youngest president this sorority's ever seen.
Beware of the limelight, little sis.
You've got a couple skeletons in your closet.
I'm not leaving, big sis.
And I'm not afraid to play dirty.
Man, it must have been tough having your dad as a coach.
It's pretty hardcore.
Definitely.
I used to hate when my dad even came to my soccer games.
No matter how well I played, it was never enough.
So I took up cross-country.
Meets were so boring, he lost interest.
And I haven't touched a soccer ball since.
So you'll understand if I decide not to play.
No, man.
What, are you crazy? I am putting you on every sports team we have.
Until you finish grad school or your knees blow out.
Anything for the brothers.
I like your attitude, pledge.
So you're practically a professional hockey player.
Why didn't you ever mention it? You didn't ask.
And, you know, it's not that big of a deal.
Yeah, but you were a jock.
People cheered for you.
No one cheers for you when you solve a Volger-Fulcher-Tamman equation.
Except my mom.
Last chance to join me for the most fantastic left-behind party ever.
No, thanks.
Just sit around and read the books? We also, you know, interpret science from current events, try to predict the end of days.
And I'll order a delicious pizza.
I'll catch the next one.
The next one may be in heaven, so Make sure you're on that list.
I've got to live at the Kappa Tau house next semester.
You know, then you can fetch your bros.
Water 24/7.
It's only 'cause we're playing against Evan.
Otherwise, they would definitely give me a second chance.
You really think so? This whole brotherhood thing I'm not so sure I buy it.
Don't I get major girlfriend points for going to see a movie called Hot Rod? Yeah, 'cause I am definitely in the mood for a comedy.
What? Can we please talk about this? It's not like you didn't know it was Cappie.
I mean, you knew, right? Yeah, I knew it was him.
But I didn't know that everyone else on campus knew.
It's not everyone on campus.
I guess one or two Kappa Taus saw me leave the next morning.
You couldn't be a little more discreet? You hooking up with Rebecca in the middle of a rush party didn't exactly go unnoticed.
I'm sorry, Case.
But when I think about you and Cappie, I kind of lose my mind.
I thought all this was behind us.
It was.
Until Frannie started doubting my loyalty to Omega Chi, took me off athletic support, and brought this whole thing up again.
Are you doubting me too? I'm gonna get some popcorn.
I'll meet you inside.
I thought you wanted to meet for brunch? What? Coffee, doughnut brunch.
Doesn't matter.
I'm not very hungry anyway.
So what's up with you? I don't wanna talk about it.
Evan and I had the worst date ever last night.
Hot Rod hilarious.
The date with Evan not so funny.
Why, what's going on with you two? Never mind.
It's too complicated.
I mean, you make one mistake, and suddenly like, everybody doubts you and forgets everything good and loyal you've ever done.
Should I know what that means? Like I said, it's complicated.
Fine.
My turn.
I've been benched.
Cappie's not letting me play floor hockey.
Which is kind of like a flashback to being ten years old, the worst guy in Little League.
It's not like they're all so perfect.
They're definitely better than I am.
And they have no right to sideline a person based on assumptions.
It's not entirely assumptions.
I did score for the other team.
So why let them set the terms? Yeah, you're right.
I didn't join a fraternity to be a water-boy.
- I joined to be a part of it.
- They need proof, give them proof.
Get back in the driver's seat.
- I gotta go.
- Okay.
- Thanks.
- Don't mention it.
The doughnuts are on me.
I just wanted to do a little something to thank you for all your team spirit this week.
Tiffany Mesh Bangles.
Very impressive, rebecca.
Wait until you see the t-shirts we made.
So cute.
Homemade t-shirts.
That is impressive.
- Thanks, big sis.
- For pledge.
But if you really want to win, you have to be serious.
You have to be willing to play dirty.
Right, Becks? Posters and t-shirts? That's great if this were 1985 and we all had feathered hair.
But I straighten my hair, Rebecca, because I'm serious.
So let's stop playing around.
- What are you doing out of your bunker? - I've got a plan that guarantees the Omega Chis win the game.
But it's not going to be easy.
It's going to require that you wear the sexiest, sluttiest, sweetest outfits you own.
Oh, my god, I'm totally in! Did we have physics homework? No, I'm learning to play hockey.
That won't work.
It has to work.
Physics explains everything.
If I don't have the specific skills to play the sport, then my brain can definitely make up for it.
It's an interesting choice of using Drew's co-efficient theory of friction.
Re-normalized with euclidean quantum field theory.
- Don't forget to - I'm on it.
You know, this just might work.
Rusty, me, you, we could We change the very nature of sports.
We could take back the playgrounds, the fields, the courts, the rinks from the physically gifted.
The future could be ours.
I just want to play intramurals.
Today intramurals, but tomorrow The world! If I line up here, taking into account the slant of the incline, the height of the goal, and the rate of my metabolism I told you, it's 73 degrees! This is hopeless! I can't do this! We should work with the motion capture.
Dale, this is stupid.
There's a reason nobody has taken back the playgrounds.
It's physically impossible.
What if we re-calculated the diameter of the ball in relation to the stick.
No I'm done.
We can't turn ourselves into athletes.
Einstein probably sucked at floor hockey too.
Wanna party? Slow down, eager beaver.
Beware of hot greeks bearing gifts.
Me thinks we find ourselves confronted by a very attractive trojan horse.
We invite you in, you get us drunk We lose the game tomorrow.
But the Kappa Taus will not succumb to such obvious trickery! So much for straight hair.
Are you seriously turning this down? Think about it.
I'm doing better than that.
I'm imposing a two-drink limit! Don't use the upstairs bathroom, please.
Thank you.
How did you know they couldn't count past two? We threw booze and girls into the equation.
I just hope I haven't exposed myself to herpes for nothing.
Trust me.
I knew you'd come back to me.
We do need to get you some deodorant.
Good work, pledge.
He's a great player, so it's your job to make sure he gets extra attention.
Hands.
No one's allowed back in the house until they've been disinfected.
This is so much fun! We have to do this with every house.
We'd wear different themed outfits How are we doing in here? They're on their sixth round of cement mixers.
Just to be clear, we're trying to slow them down, not kill them Ok? Fine.
You've been avoiding me.
Where's Rusty tonight? Not here.
We're all alone.
Are you gonna let him play? Let's not talk about family.
How about boyfriends? Because I have a boyfriend.
Whose ass is gonna be grass tomorrow.
What do you see in that tool anyway? I happen to like nice guys.
I'm nice guys.
No, you're not.
You're Drunk.
- First line, your best - Sure.
What happened to you? I pulled a hammy in practice yesterday.
I think I'm gonna have to sit this one out.
- Did you go to student health? - There was nothing they could do.
Good luck today.
Go omega Chi.
Go ahead.
I'll meet you at the gym.
What the hell are you doing? What I wanted to do in the first place.
Are you really gonna let your brothers down like this? You said all I had to do was join your fraternity, and you'd pay for college.
Right? I'm doing your guy thing.
Everything else, in my opinion, is non-negotiable.
Did you think I wanted you to pledge because it would make you more of a man? Didn't you? I wanted you to pledge this house because some of the great friendships of my life started here.
My brothers got me through some tough times.
And they helped me get started with my career.
They stood up with me at my wedding.
Gays can't get married, remember? Well, what about one of those commitment ceremonies? Or, what are we calling it now, - Civil Union Partnerships? - Dad That's not the point all right? Have you - told anyone here? - No.
Son, you have nothing to be ashamed of.
I'm not ashamed! I'm great with being gay.
It's just how everyone else reacts that sucks.
When I came out in high school, I went from being Calvin Owens to "that gay hockey player-guy.
" And I'm more than that.
And this is my chance to start fresh, on my own terms.
So I'll tell who I want, when I want.
But, to be honest, dad, it's not the most interesting thing about me.
Play Don't play.
That's up to you.
I just don't want you to miss out on what I got from this experience.
Some pretty amazing friends.
Water boy reporting for duty.
You guys, the game starts in 20 minutes! Hey, you ok? Muffin.
Devil.
So where do you want me, Coach? Get out there and show 'em what you got, pledge Owens.
About time, guys.
Dale, what are you doing here? I'm risking my immortal soul to tell you we forgot to factor in the torque due to residual perspiration, the weight differential of water loss.
Which changes, like, everything! I don't have time for this.
- I'm not even playing.
- Listen to me! This is bigger than you.
Okay, we started something, and I expect you to finish it.
It wasn't 73 degrees, Rusty, it was 78.
Do you hear what I'm saying? It's 78! We had it all wrong! Take back the gym, Rusty.
For all of us.
Hey, youngblood.
Don't you want your good luck kiss? You must be getting real tired of coming in second to me.
You know what makes it easier? Knowing I'll always be her first.
That was awesome! Who knew sports could be so fun? Definitely.
Congratulations, Casey.
Your plan was creative, effective, and very dirty.
Cheney would be proud.
Thanks.
Calvin is amazing.
And he's kind of hot.
Is it just me? - You can get off me now.
- Right, that's right.
Call me later? Maybe we should call him, Cap.
I'm over here, dude.
Maybe we should turn up the toll.
No, you can't give up.
Isn't this game bigger than both of us? Isn't this about kickin' ass? Isn't this about good VS Evan? He's right.
You may not be feeling well.
Some of you are even still drunk.
I see before me a team of Kappa Taus, playing in defiance of tyranny.
You've come to fight as free men, and free men you are.
Will you fight? Aye, fight and you may die, run and you may live.
At least a while.
It hurts real bad, Cap.
Drunk people don't feel pain! And neither do scotsmen.
We may be puking, the Omega Chis are not used to running on puke like we are! And Rusty here Look at him.
Just a nice kid from Cleveland.
Chicago.
And I know that when he's dying in his bed many years from now, he'll be willing to trade all his days, from this day, for one chance! I'm actually fine Just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never be able to take our freedom! If he's dead, do we win automatically? Dude Owens, nice play out there, man.
I can't believe you almost weren't gonna play with us.
I'm kinda regretting missing the first game.
Look at that guy.
Can't take a hit.
What a freakin' queer.
Come on, Beav.
Is he dead? He's still breathing.
I gotta find some adrenaline or something.
So Are you playing someone else? I need a decision.
Let's go.
We'll play a man down.
What about your water boy? I bet he wants to play.
You know what? That's a great idea.
Suit up, Spitter.
You're going in.
I can't do this, I'm telling you, I practiced, I studied.
None of it mattered.
I suck! I'm not kidding.
Do you know what separates a sucky athlete from a great one? This.
Upper body strength? Your heart.
Now grab your stick and be a Kappa Tau.
And Rusty If you get the ball Go that way.
Please don't hit it to me.
Please don't hit it to him.
Spitter, run! Let the dork go! Equipment penalty for not wearing a cup, which makes us lose the game! That's just ridiculous.
That's, like, the worst ref ever.
Just because you forgot to protect 'em, doesn't mean you don't got 'em.
I'm sorry I let you down.
I'm sorry I was so blinded by my desire to win, I completely forgot what being a Kappa Tau is all about.
Brotherhood? Drinking and hot chicks.
That was one hell of a shot though.
Maybe it was luck.
Or chance.
Or science.
I don't know.
I just know I'm not good at athletics, and I don't have to be.
No, you do not.
Now come on, Spitter.
Let's get you a drink you can swallow.
Barkeep.
Where's Beaver? - Where's Cappie? - Where's my drink? Finally.
Pledge Rebecca, can you get the glass? Thanks.
Ladies, just wanted to say thank you for the party favors last night.
Most enjoyable.
Thank us? But we sabotaged you.
I can't believe I just said "sabotage.
" Maybe I am learning french.
Well, we would have won, if not for the tragic technicality.
And the cement mixers.
It was a pretty dirty trick.
I'm a big boy.
I can handle it, Case.
Sorry, Cappie, we're Omega Chi girls, remember? Bye! You know, it's kind of nice when the good guys win, don't you think? Not quite the same when you win 'cause I wasn't wearing a cup.
I'm just saying.
Thanks for the athletic support.
Can you believe Frannie ever doubted me? She would have to be crazy, and you know what? I bet she feels like a jackass for it.
All's forgiven.
There's always rugby in the spring.
I think I'm going into early retirement.
There are certain things you just have to accept about yourself.
I'm good at table sports, and I just suck at hockey.
And I'm gay.
Right.
I knew this gay guy once.
Well, it wasn't that he was once gay.
I knew him.
Once.
And he was gay.
- He is gay.
- Are you okay? You're having a little mouth spasm.
I just know that this is a big moment.
And I have no clue what to say.
What are you thinking? I think I should let you know that I'm okay with it.
Which I am.
But then, in my head, I'm just like "way to be presumptuous, Rusty.
" I mean, we're friends.
It's not like you need to get my permission to be gay.
We are who we are.
- Right? - Right.
So does everyone else know but me? Actually, no one here at school knows but you.
Are you gonna tell your Omega Chi brothers? One thing at a time.
I just, I just want to get through pledging first.
It's good to know that I have at least one brother for sure.