I Didn't Do It (2014) s01e04 Episode Script

We're in.
Spread out.
We've got to find Lindy's letter.
All these envelopes, they've been licked by tongues of people we don't know! Blecchh! Now you've been licked by someone you do know.
Feel better? Ugh! Guys, we're on a mission.
The letter! "Fragile.
" Wonder what's inside.
Stuck! Little help here.
Jasmine, the button! Guys, I want to see Europe, but not like this! Shut it off! Jasmine! Logan, the other panel! Hurry! Hurry! Whew.
Saved the day! And a lot in international postage.
What are you kids doing? I know you don't work here 'cause you look too happy.
Uh, it's kind of a long story.
I've got five years till I retire.
Take your time.
You're nothin' but trouble but trouble's what I like got a whole life to figure it out, so why start tonight? just take a picture of me taking a picture of you making the face that makes me laugh then you start laughing too and when the world looks upside down just flip the camera the other way around 'cause this'll be the time of our, the time of our lives we're taking the world by surprise hang on, it's a crazy ride this'll be the time of our, time of our lives and even when it don't feel right know that you're doing just fine 'cause this is the time of our lives You guys, you guys! It's the most exciting thing ever! Here we go again.
What's that supposed to mean? Forget it.
No, tell me.
I want to know.
Lindy, we love you, but You tend to get overly excited about the smallest things.
That's just not true.
Isn't it? I just drew a perfect circle.
This is the best day of my life! I got an apple in my lunch? Jackpot! Thank you, nature.
Free perfume sample? This is insanity! Well, excuse me for being a glass-half-full person.
Not half full, overflowing.
With the best water ever! Fine.
I may have overstated things in the past, but not this time.
The letters are coming! The letters are coming! What letters are coming? What letters are coming? The ones from Mrs.
Babcock, our third grade teacher? Remember when Jasmine superglued her world's greatest teacher mug to her desk? Yeah, the rest of the year, she would drink like this.
She's not sending letters about something I did back then, is she? Our class pet got out of the cage on his own.
Hey, rat Damon, I'm Logan.
I'm gonna let you walk around, but only if you promise to go right back in the cage.
What's that? You promise? Okey-dokey.
Forget the rat! Don't you guys remember? Mrs.
Babcock had us write letters to our future selves, our high school selves, and we had to say what we wanted our lives to be like.
And then, on a very specific day, I'll mail the letters, and you'll get them when you are high school freshmen! Aaahhh! Garrett, we're about to write our letters, so put the puzzle down.
But I almost got it.
No, sweetie, you don't.
Lake Ontario is not a bone in the human body.
Now, children, what do you want most for your future selves? Let your creativity flow.
"Dear future Delia "I want my own language.
"I'll call it Delionics, "where a crayon is a moomy-mah.
"No, moomy-mah is silly.
Moomy-fer-in-tooty!" "By now, Jasmine, "I bet you're a crime scene investigator "who would never use a gun "but might use superglue! Ha ha ha ha!" All I want is to finish one puzzle.
Can't they make one that's not broken into little pieces? "Number one, be awesome.
"Number two, try almond butter.
Number three?" Are you sure you want to copy off me? My other goal is to wear a bra.
"And that's what I want for my future self.
"Sincerely, Lindy gertrude Watson.
P.
S I also might want a new middle name.
" All right, everyone done? Lindy? They're just dumb little kid letters.
Are you kidding? They're time machines back into our third grade souls! If I had a time machine, I'd go back to when I was a baby so I wouldn't have to get up in the middle of the night and sneak into my backyard to go to the bathroom.
Why am I the only one excited about these letters? They're an important benchmark of our lives, a crayon-colored record of our psyches, a living document from the earliest days of our friendship when we I have never been so excited to go to math class in my life.
Hello, catalog of really expensive things I can't afford and don't need, but fantasize about owning.
The letter's here.
Hello, crayon-colored record of my psyche! "Dear high school self, "or robot who's reading this to you.
"A robot that reads would be kind of neat, I guess.
" See? I'm not overly excited about everything.
"I hope I always have my pink pencil! I love my pencil! I love it, I love it, I love it!" Okay, I spoke too soon.
"I hope by the time I get to high school, I have better friends.
" I said that? What are you up to? Uh nothing! Hey, is that my third grade letter in the pile? Hand it to me! Why are you doing your t.
Rex impersonation? I'm not.
It's an armpit cramp.
I hate it when that happens.
Where's your letter? Uh It didn't come yet.
I mean, maybe tomorrow or not or never.
Who cares? Oh-kay.
So, uh, what were little Logan's goals in life? All right, number one be awesome.
Check.
Number two, try almond butter.
Not yet.
Number three Wear a bra? Wow.
You were wigged out by puzzles then, and you're still wigged out by puzzles.
I know! I can't finish puzzles! I wig out! Why? I don't know! It's very puzzling.
So in delionics, what is a "gerspeil" and a "falooch"? I don't know.
I can't remember.
Seriously, Delia, who makes up their own language? I know.
I was pretty weird back then.
Harold, I can't talk now.
What do you mean, you don't care? It probably just got lost in the mail.
It's no big deal.
What's no big deal? You'll never guess.
Please don't make it a puzzle.
Just tell us.
Lindy never got her letter.
Aww.
And you were looking forward to it more than anyone.
Well, I don't care about the letter now.
I'm glad you guys got yours, but I'm totally okay that I didn't get mine.
Are you sure? Because you're acting a little discombobulated.
Enough with your made-up delionics.
That's a real word.
Oh-kay.
Look, my letter just got lost in the mail.
Or Mrs.
Babcock forgot to send it.
Either way, I'm fine.
I'll see you guys later.
My investigative instincts tell me she is not fine.
She's totally lying.
I observed her tells.
Her whats, now? Little signs that she's hiding something, in behaviors, mannerisms, habits.
What did we see when Lindy was claiming it was no big deal? Well, I don't care about the letter now.
The lip bite.
I'm glad you guys got yours The nose rub.
But I'm totally okay that I didn't get mine.
The hair twirl.
Impressive.
And I say that with no body movement at all.
But wait, what am I missing? It's like I can see all the pieces, but I can't put them together.
Not getting that letter is driving Lindy mad.
We're gonna find it for her, and we're gonna have to start at the scene of the crime.
You guys, come on.
It looks exactly the same.
Smells the same, too.
Hairspray and corn.
Mrs.
Babcock's signature scent.
Don't you remember? We called her Mrs.
babcorn.
Let's look for that letter.
Oh! It's nice to see my legacy has stuck.
This is impossible.
It was six years ago.
Lindy's high school letter could be anywhere.
I know jazz is a professional investigator, because she takes every opportunity to tell us, but I say we try the shelves marked "high school letters.
" Get up there and start looking.
Did the smell of hairspray and corn suddenly get stronger? What's going on here?! Hi, Mrs.
babcorn Babcock! Hello, Jasmine.
I'm surprised you're not in jail by now.
I wasn't that bad.
There's a mug stuck to my desk that begs to differ.
And if it isn't Logan! And Delia And the one who couldn't do puzzles! You took it away too soon.
I almost had it! No, sweetie, you didn't.
What are you kids doing? We're looking for Lindy's letter.
She never got it.
Well, I guarantee you, I sent it.
With all due respect, Mrs.
Babcock, you're lying.
I hear the wavering voice, I see the drooping of the shoulders those are tells, and they're telling me that you've got Lindy's letter! They're not tells! I'm 73 years old! I haven't missed a letter in thirty years, because I have a perfectly organized filing system.
Uh-oh! Aaaah! From what I saw, the letter's not in there.
We couldn't find the letter in Mrs.
Babcock's classroom.
That's when we snuck in here.
No way! I had Babcock too.
You know what my letter said? I'll tell you what it didn't say: "Become a mail lady.
" Is there any chance that you saw Lindy's letter? You think I notice one piece of mail? It may have smelled faintly of corn and had red sealing wax was on it.
Oh! The sealing wax! Of course I remember delivering that.
How could I forget? It was like a Jane Austen novel, like going back to a time when people actually wrote to one another, from their hearts, through their pens, and onto the paper.
These days it's all about the email.
Oh, but back then uh, you might want to move the story along.
Remember, you only have five years till you retire.
Okay, here's the two big questions: Why did Lindy lie about the letter? And who is Jane awesome? Guys, listen to me.
There's something in that letter that Lindy doesn't want us to know about.
Hey, you guys.
I got up at 5:00 this morning to make muffins for my besties! Why, you ask? Because that is the kind of person I am.
Someone who appreciates their friends and who would never take them for granted or say or do anything to hurt their feelings.
Well, that was in no way weird.
She's hiding something.
We need a plan to find out what it is.
And why can't we just ask her? Garrett, when a girl has a giant, throbbing pimple on her nose and she's using foundation, base, concealer and powder to cover it up, do you ask her if you can see it? Well, thank you very much! Wait a minute.
I think there's almond butter in this.
Yes! Now I just need to wear a bra.
Well, hold on.
What's that? A piece of sealing wax.
Exactly like the kind Lindy used on her letter! What's it doing here Near the trash can! She must have thrown it away! It's empty.
You're gonna wash your hands now, right? No!!! Well, I think we all know what we have to do.
If it means going anywhere near that garbage room, we most certainly do not! Ahh, yuck! Ugh, gross! Oh, barf! Are you done? No.
Blech! Now I'm done.
Stop complaining and start looking for the letter.
Where's Delia? Wasn't she right behind us? Whoo-hoo! Uh, you do know there are stairs and a door? And how much fun did you have getting here? Oh! This is horrible! Just be thankful this garbage is from the cafeteria and not biology.
We dissected cow eyeballs today.
Cool! Okay, please just tell me that's a really big ping pong ball.
Okay.
This is a really big ping pong ball.
That may or may not be looking at you.
Guys! I found it! I found the letter! Okay, great.
Can we just get out of here now? I think one of those ping pong balls just winked at me.
Actually, we can't.
It's locked! Oh, great! Well, this is great, Jasmine! Look where your investigative work got us! Talk to me when you finish a puzzle, Mr.
lake Ontario.
She took it away too soon! No, sweetie.
She didn't! Guys, stop! If we turn on each other, it'll make it that much easier to resort to cannibalism.
Okay.
I texted Lindy.
She's on her way.
Seriously? You get service in here? Who are you with? Why'd you text Lindy? We were trying to do this without her knowing.
Remember the story about the pimple? Yes! We remember! Guys? Guys?! Lindy, we're in here! Oh! I came as soon as I got the text.
Why wouldn't I? I love you guys! I'd do anything for you, and anybody who tells you anything different we found your letter.
Oh Right before you got here.
Oh! And then the eyeballs came down.
Ew! But we haven't read it yet.
Ahh.
Thank you guys so much for finding this.
I don't mean to overstate it, but you guys are the best, best, best, best, best friends in the entire galaxy.
I did not see that coming.
And I did not see that coming.
No, but they saw you.
Oh, yuck! Ugh, gross! Oh, barf! I hope we got all the pieces.
I don't believe it! I put the letter back together! I finished a puzzle! "Dear high school self" Blah-blah, blah-blah.
There's nothing here for her to be upset about.
Oh, yeah? Check out the other side.
"I hope by the time I get to high school, I have I have better friends"? What?! No.
This makes no sense.
She loves us.
Lindy's been the best friend in the world.
But, guys, the letter.
She wants better friends than us? But she wrote it a long time ago.
Then why would she try so hard to hide it? Why would she lie to us? She wouldn't Unless there was still some truth to it.
My own twin sister.
I wish I would have never read that letter.
Well, that's just great! The one puzzle I finally complete! Oh, hey.
What's going on? I didn't know we were hanging out.
Oh, didn't your robot tell you? You read the letter.
But I ripped Garrett pieced it back together.
I finished a puzzle.
It's bittersweet.
Do you have any idea what we did for you? We went through the trash room.
We snuck into the post office.
We trashed Mrs.
Babcock's classroom! Oh, Mrs.
Babcock.
How did she look? Pretty good for 73.
Not now! We're mad at her.
And you should be.
Guys, look, I feel awful.
Why? We're just the friends you're stuck with until you get better ones.
You want a better brother, too? Well, start looking, 'cause I quit! You can't actually quit being her I know that! I'm saying something extreme to express a sentiment! Please, you've got to believe that I never meant save it.
No one's buying your kerfloogen.
Okay, Delia, I know you're upset, but that kind of language is not necessary.
Look, guys, just let me explain.
Here's an idea.
When you get your better friends, explain it to them.
Guys, come on.
Guys, please don't! Logan, where are you going? You live here.
Not anymore! But I'm making a point! Where is Mrs.
Babcock already? She's probably getting her hair done At the corn stand.
She better get here soon, because at some point, I'm going to have to pay a visit to my backyard.
Lindy? You better get out of Mrs.
Babcock's chair.
She's gonna be here any second.
Logan, Lindy wrote that note to trick us into coming because we wouldn't talk to her.
You can ease up on the whole detective thing, Jasmine.
Not every theory you have is She's right.
Fine work, inspector.
I had to get you guys here in our old classroom to help you see why I wrote that stuff.
Lindy, we've always been best friends.
And we always thought everyone felt the same way about each other.
There is no excuse for what you wrote.
Just hear me out.
I hope I always have my pink pencil! I love my pencil! I love it, I love it, I love it! The whole rest of the year, everyone called me "little Lindy bunchy-bootie.
" Who knew it would catch on? That's why I was so upset with you guys.
We were just little kids.
Kids do stupid things.
Yes, they do.
Like write that they want new friends.
But you could've told us that from the beginning.
I didn't want you to know I ever felt that way, even for a silly, third grade minute.
Come on, haven't we all done dumb things we hope no one ever finds out about? Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, not really.
Drop it, Logan, we all know rat Damon didn't open the cage door and dance himself out of here.
He gave me his rat word.
Guys, I'm sorry I ever wrote those things.
I should have just been honest with you.
I don't think there are better friends.
Come on.
Bring it in.
I really love you guys.
Aw.
I don't believe it! It's rat Damon! Guys, that's not rat Damon.
That's just a rat! Oh, gross! Oh, barf! Yish, Delia! Clanka far-fitzle.
Yish, Garrett! Clanka fitzle-far! Clanka fitzle.
Gerspeil? Falooch? Bootle-flay? Moomy-fertintooty.
Barum slingtang.
Ha! Slingtang! What a crazy dream.
Well, as long as I'm up, I might as well make a trip to the backyard.