I Hate Christmas (2022) s01e04 Episode Script

1
A NETFLIX SERIES
[funky Christmas music playing]
[Gianna] When you're little,
everyone takes care of you.
Being rewarded by Mum and Dad
is what makes you happy.
Your worth is measured
by the "well done, darling"
and goodnight kisses you receive.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
[Gianna] Then you suddenly get older,
and rewards come from something else.
- [Davide] Coffee?
- Yeah.
[Gianna chuckles]
[Gianna] How long have you been awake?
A while.
Just enough time to
Bake the bread.
Burn it, actually.
I went and bought some more,
but you can appreciate my honesty.
[Gianna] Don't you have an older brother?
I mean, not loads older.
Just, let's say, old enough
so my mother wouldn't sit him
at the children's table.
[laughs] Why? What have you got
against the children's table?
You can do what you want.
Everyone loves you.
You don't know my mother.
[chuckles] I don't though.
No older brother.
[Gianna] Hmm.
Too bad.
I will stand, I will stand ♪
I could have fallen in love with him.
[music rewinds]
I might have fucked up, yeah. [sighs]
That joke came out a bit wrong. [laughs]
But it's not like a cute boy
that any girl would want
wouldn't call me again
just because of that joke, right?
Huh? Come on!
200 EUROS FOR FINDING JESUS
I got my style ♪
I'll cut it off if you want.
10 DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS
Mm It's only been three days.
It's normal
for someone to disappear for three days.
Maybe Davide has an exam, or he's sick?
Right? Who knows?
I could send him an emoji,
the one with the ballerina
with the red dress that's not too
- No, no, no.
- You know. It's very
No, no, no, no!
Gianna, listen to me carefully
because I'm only gonna say it once.
Is Davide Jesus?
No. So he's not dead, and he won't
be resurrected in three days' time.
He's blatantly fucking someone else.
I know, that hurts,
but you can't sit there
waiting for a boy to call at 30 years old.
Anyway, tonight is the hospital
Christmas party, isn't it?
Why don't you do what normal people do?
Wear a nice dress,
and party.
[playful music playing]
- Bye.
- Bye.
[playful music continues]
- Good morning.
- [man] Hi.
Good morning.
I've always loved Christmas parties.
[chuckles]
I still remember the ones
at the Italian embassy in Beirut.
Lebanese people are really
open.
- Hmm.
- Like my fourth husband's driver.
Very open.
He was amazing!
Oh, so
- Why are you looking at me like that?
- No, no, no! Nothing!
- He was so busy with his young girlfriend
- [beeping]
[Matilde] That way, I had
Okay.
more time to do my own thing. [laughs]
Of course.
Happiness
is a matter of perspective.
[Umberto] Good morning, girls.
- [Gianna] Good morning.
- Good morning, doctor.
Shall we take a look at your lungs,
Ms. Clotil
Mal Matilde?
Sure, Dr. Alberto.
Oh, remember,
at the Christmas party tonight
[mimics a cat]
Meow, meow, meow, yes.
- Meow.
- Ah!
[Gianna] Yes.
- [Gianna laughing] Goodbye!
- Bye, beautiful. Have fun.
So, doctor,
is your name Umberto or Alberto?
Umberto, but I'll also take Alberto.
Well then, Alberto.
So don't be shy!
Ah!
[Umberto sighs]
Okay.
[laughs]
Gianna!
- Excuse me, doctor. The medication
- Gianna!
- Can you just
- Yes, just a second.
Give me a second.
Uh, Gianna
- [lift bell dings]
- [Umberto sighs]
Gianna?
- Mama?
- You're having chocolate for lunch?
No, it's It's, uh It's a patient's.
I was about to throw it away, but
[chuckles]
What are you doing here, Mum?
Has something happened?
Um, no. Aren't I allowed
to come and see you at work?
No, of course you can.
I wasn't expecting you,
and we're seeing each other tomorrow.
Yes, but tomorrow night,
everyone will be there.
I wanted to talk to you alone.
It's private.
Oh.
Yeah, sure. Let's sit over here.
- What?
- Um [clears throat]
Your boyfriend, the one you were thinking
of bringing at Christmas,
how old is he?
Uh, what do you mean? I don't
How do you mean? Do you think
Are you the same age?
That depends a bit
on what you mean by "the same age"
because men generally mature
later than women, don't they?
There are also men who are
really mature for their ages, but
And women who are very youthful.
You're a very youthful woman
Gianna, honey,
it's a very simple question. Focus.
Are you and your boyfriend the same age?
Boyfriend? He's not really my boyfriend.
I mean, he's my boyfriend, but
Anyway, yeah, we're the same age,
in the sense that I'm 30,
so I'm nearer to A levels than my
But Crisanti isn't retired.
- Oh, you're talking about Crisanti?
- Of course. Who else?
Of course!
No, Crisanti isn't my boyfriend, no.
I did think it was strange,
someone so successful
Of course he wouldn't go out with me.
No, darling.
You wouldn't have chosen him.
Listen, Mama, seeing as we're
talking about Christmas and my boyfriend
The nurses' staff room is nice.
It looks like the doctors' one,
but it's smaller.
[footsteps retreating]
- [mum] Bye, darling.
- Bye, Mama.
[upbeat jazz music playing]
[lift bell dings]
- [Umberto] Hiya!
- He's suffering because
Gianna!
Gianna. Hi. Listen, I wanted to know if
[lift bell dings]
Okay, okay. Bye.
[sighs]
Dumb bitch!
[inhales sharply]
- I'm going to take some blood, okay?
- No.
I'm doing it for you,
if you want to leave as soon as possible.
No one's waiting for me out there anyway.
Oh, no? Not even the bitch?
Don't call her that.
What's her name?
Irene. Her name's Irene,
and she doesn't give a shit about me.
Why?
Because she's a bitch. [laughs softly]
She says she doesn't want to see me
until I get help.
Typical of you women.
You run away as soon as we need you.
You act all in love. "I love you.
I love you, sweetheart!" [coughs]
Then you fuck off
at the first opportunity.
I understand her.
Well, then you're a bitch too.
I'm the one
stuck in this shitty hospital. You get it?
- I'm the one who feels bad, not her.
- No, no, no.
This isn't bad.
Bad will be when you leave the hospital
and start using again.
Then your heart will fail,
and one morning,
your girlfriend will wake up by you.
She'll try to wake you up,
and she'll realise you're dead.
She'll then call your parents and say,
"I'm sorry. Patrizio's passed away."
Then she'll have to open your wardrobe,
choose clothes to bury you in,
take fucking flowers
to your grave every day,
and try to forget that you were lovely
when you were well,
that she'd found the love of her life,
in amongst everyone,
and that you were happy.
That's bad.
Okay, okay.
Davide hasn't called. [laughs]
I will admit, that makes me a bit
a bit edgy. Just a bit.
But you have to understand
that talking to Patrizio,
who has found love and is wasting it,
gets on my nerves!
That and the fact that there are
nine days until Christmas
and my boyfriend is nowhere to be seen.
[romantic pop music playing]
So when I asked him, "Why didn't
you tell me you had a wife and children,"
do you know what his reply was?
"Because I'm shy!"
- [laughs]
- [woman] Shy! Can you believe it?
I would've given him a slap.
- She just gave him something else!
- [all laugh]
- So classy.
- [Didi] Gianna, please take that off.
- Hi.
- [women] Hi.
- I'm Didi.
- Hi.
No, sorry. Now, tell me,
what's wrong with this dress, honestly.
Nothing, if you were my grandma.
[all laugh]
[Didi] I'm begging you,
get those boobs out.
Besides, I agreed to live with you
so I could get a look as well sometimes.
- I get it.
- [Didi] Thank you.
- How are you?
- Good.
So you two live together?
Yeah. It's been ages now.
Why don't you come to the party too?
Yeah, that's right.
Come with us, Didi. Come on, Ti!
Well, if you insist. [chuckles]
[Gianna] Well?
[whistles]
Davide really is an idiot.
Four, three, two, ow! ♪
Boys ♪
[all laugh]
Boys! ♪
- Make a girl go crazy ♪
- Four, three, two ♪
- Ow!
- Boys! ♪
Boys! ♪
- Boys! ♪
- Make a girl go crazy ♪
Four, three, two, ow ♪
What are you twerking for?
Behave yourselves!
- Didi?
- What?
Thank you.
From the playboys to the gay boys ♪
Go and slay, boys
You my fave boys, ow! ♪
[song ends]
[Didi] This is beautiful!
[pop music playing in background]
[Gianna] Thank you.
- Gianna!
- Hi!
- [woman] Fancy a drink?
- [Gianna] Yes.
How long
have you and Didi lived together?
Well, it's been quite a while, actually.
It's difficult to say how long
because she often spends the night
somewhere else,
so we often bump into each other
in the morning, like at dawn.
- [woman] Oh!
- Yeah.
[Umberto] Hey!
- Hi. Hi!
- It's nice here, huh?
- Very!
- In that case So she's quite open?
And it doesn't bother you?
Well, no, as long as she's happy.
- That dress looks lovely on you.
- Oh, thanks.
- [phone ringing]
- It makes you
Sorry. Excuse me a moment. I have to
- Go ahead.
- [Gianna] Hello?
- [Carlo] Hey, did you get the flowers?
- [Gianna] Hi, Carlo.
- Yes, yes, yes. I
- [loud music over speakers]
The roses, they're beautiful!
[Carlo] What? I can't hear you.
No, I said the roses were beautiful,
and there were lots.
I'm at the Laguna Hotel, at a party.
- [Carlo] What? I can't hear you.
- I'll go outside. I'm going outside.
- I'll call you back. Excuse me.
- Oh.
- Hi, Mario. [laughs]
- What are you doing here?
I'm at a party.
The hotel is hosting the party
for the hospital where I work.
And that's all. I guess you're also here
with your friends? [chuckles]
I'm sorry. Why did you say "your friends",
like in that superficial tone?
- Well, I
- Yeah, yeah. Whatever. The usual story.
You're on your high horse.
You feel superior
No, I don't feel superior to anyone.
I don't understand this obsession
Are you coming?
We're waiting for you at the table.
Thank you.
- Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!
- Sorry for what though?
Oh, right. Oh, whatever. So you're going.
To Christmas parties, where we all seem
more beautiful, nicer and more friendly,
and instead we just drunker!
[all laugh]
- True!
- [all] Cheers!
Thank you for earlier. Mm-hmm.
Anyway, I didn't think you were
this much of a partygoer?
- Toasts?
- You've never been out with me.
I was the life and soul of the party
at university.
[woman] Well, you can get
another round in then. Same again?
Okay. Okay. Vodka?
Gin. Gin.
["Space Cowboy" by Jamiroquai
playing in background]
Oops!
Ah. Thank you.
Of the space cowboy ♪
Interplanetary, good vibe zone ♪
Shall we dance?
Yes. Well, there's a
- All right. Let's dance.
- Let's.
- Can I I'll be right back. Sorry.
- Okay.
["Space Cowboy" continues playing]
[Gianna] Hi. Um
I need to tell you something. Please
don't interrupt me. It's very important.
I don't want
to make a big deal out of things.
I don't understand why, every time
I say hi to you, you don't say hi back.
You don't answer me. You don't
It's nothing personal.
I swear I'm not offended.
It's just that three years ago,
my ex-boyfriend, Francesco,
broke up with me,
and I've recently started going out again
in general with men,
and it's not really going how
It's a bit Oh! [laughs nervously]
Tell me what's wrong with me
and why you never answer me when I say hi?
Yes.
I'M DEAF
Uh
[laughs]
[laughs]
I'm stuck
in some relationship with you ♪
And can't sing all day, all day ♪
Sha-la-la-la-la ♪
What an idiot I am.
Gianna! Gianna!
- Hi!
- Hi.
- What are you
- Sorry for turning up unexpectedly.
But I thought that we might
understand each other better in person.
You think, hmm?
[chuckles] No, sorry.
I'm joking. I'm joking.
Shall we go up?
- If that's all right.
- Yes, let's go up.
My colleagues
will be very pleased to meet you.
Thank you. That's nice.
They were appreciative of, in particular,
the roses!
Too many, weren't there?
I can never find the right balance.
I either do too much or too little.
It's just that I like you.
That's the truth.
My boat's outside.
Get your bag.
Come on, I'll take you somewhere.
Come with me. Come on!
- Come on. Come with me!
- Here's your drink!
- It was vodka and tonic, right?
- [Gianna] Uh
What happened to you?
The others are all dancing.
- Let's go!
- I'm coming. It's just that
- Okay, we need to talk.
- No, we don't need to talk.
- It's clear to me what we said
- You need to say sorry.
You came looking for me.
You wanted to go out with me.
This is me, warts and all.
You treated me like an asshole
the other night, but you're the asshole!
That's enough!
Don't you dare speak to her like that!
- Look
- Here's another one come to interrupt me!
No, you're being rude, that's what.
Exactly. And what is it you fucking want?
- [people gasp]
- No, no, no!
No, no, no, no! No! No! No!
Come on! No, guys!
[Carlo] You're just rude!
You piece of shit!
That's enough! That's enough!
Have you both gone mad?
Can you not be a bit less
testosterone-driven assholes?
How is it possible that you don't realise
that 100 roses are too many?
And that target shooting is fun,
precisely because
you don't hit the target sometimes.
And that, yes, I was wrong
to go out with you. Sorry!
But it's not easy going out again.
It's not easy understanding what you want,
what you desire,
and trying not to hurt people,
and understanding who you are.
[sombre music]
Great! I'd like to propose a toast to men,
without whom there would be less fights
but almost definitely
a lot less fun, right? To men!
- And to having fun!
- And to fights!
[all cheering]
[man] Brilliant!
- Goodbye.
- [man] Goodbye.
Is that your friend? What a bitch.
Yeah.
And if you call her that again, I'll shove
that ice somewhere you really won't like.
- [woman] Is there space for me too?
- Sure. [chuckles]
- This way. There you go.
- [woman] Thanks.
[boat engine revs]
That was a nice speech you did back there.
Oh! [chuckles]
- About men.
- Yeah.
- [chuckles]
- It's the same for some women.
When it comes to love,
assholes are all the same.
Oh. Yeah. [laughs softly]
[light Christmas music playing]
[woman vocalizing]
- [engine revs]
- Argh!
Sit down in your seats!
Couldn't you at least wait until
you get home? Or get a hotel room here?
[laughs]
[snorts]
- Did you hurt yourself? No, right?
- [groans]
Thank you.
Maybe I could walk you home?
Didi won't be back until morning, no?
Better not.
Okay.
Bye.
Bye.
[sombre music playing]
Bonjour!
[gasps] Oh God! What time is it?
- Matilde's surgery is today.
- No. It's seven o'clock. Calm down.
Oh God. Thank goodness.
[Gianna sighs]
Listen, are you going to get mad
if I tell you that
I did send
that ballerina emoji to Davide after all?
Did he reply?
No.
Then I'm mad at him.
Listen. I
Will you get mad if I tell you I spent
the night with someone from the party?
Do you like him?
Well, quite a bit.
Well, then I'm happy for you.
It's not seven o'clock.
It's nine o'clock. You're late.
What?
- You bitch!
- Yeah.
Oh, dammit!
[tense music playing]
So how was the party? Good?
Yes, good. [chuckles]
But I think I danced a bit too much.
Come on!
You can never dance too much. [laughs]
Anyway, this is a very minor surgery,
routine, nothing too complicated,
and you'll feel
much better afterwards, so
- Honey, I'm not scared.
- No, I know you're not.
At my age,
there's no time left to be scared.
- Perfect. I'll see you later then.
- Shall we go?
Here we are. There they are! [laughs]
So, boys, shall we go on this ride?
Good morning.
[chuckles]
- Hey.
- Hi.
Did you get Matilde ready for surgery?
You remembered her name! [laughs]
I enjoyed myself last night,
including all of your suitors' antics.
They were fighting over you.
Yes. That's not usually the case.
I don't think so.
And can I ask who will win in the end?
Um
Neither of them, I don't think.
Well, I think that if you look for it,
I've got a sneaky feeling you'll
find that love actually is all around.
That's not mine. It's
No, no, no. It's from Love Actually.
- Have you seen it?
- Sure! It's my favourite movie.
- I know it inside out.
- [pager beeping]
Emergency in the east wing.
That's west!
[light music playing]
[buzzing]
[buzzing]
- [mum] Who is it?
- Mama, it's me.
[mum] Hi. You're early.
Open the door!
[door buzzes]
[Gianna sighs]
I was freezing to death.
Couldn't you hear the intercom?
- My hands are really frozen.
- Hi.
Hi.
I just popped by
to leave a present for your parents.
You know, respecting traditions.
Okay.
All right. Well, I'd better go, Marta.
Thanks for the biscuits.
- Bye.
- Thank you. Pietro, it was a pleasure.
- Bye, Francesco. Yes, yes, bye.
- Take care.
- You too.
- Bye, Gianna.
Bye.
[inhales, sighs]
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas to you too.
Bye.
He just popped by to say hello.
Yes. He only stayed five minutes or so,
just for a coffee.
He's a nice guy. If only
you'd stayed in touch with him too.
[music slows]
He broke up with me!
What don't people understand?
"Matey" had let our love die!
I'm the victim here.
[music starts up]
I have to go back to work.
I'm sorry. I forgot.
What? Just like that?
Without eating anything? Gianna!
[door slams]
[Margherita] Hey!
Where are you going?
Don't leave me on my own
at lunch with Mum.
You can't do this to me.
Gianna, what's going on?
- [dad] Wait!
- Don't worry about it.
Hi, Margherita. Go upstairs to Mum.
I'll take care of things here.
Gianna, what is it?
Is it because of Francesco?
Yes, it's because of Francesco.
- Why didn't you tell me you still see him?
- We didn't want you to be hurt.
I'm not a child. I would've understood.
Gianna
We've known him since he was 15.
You can't just stop loving someone
just because you decide to, right?
Mama is lucky to have you.
Yeah. [chuckles]
There's something
Were these lights already here?
- Uh
- Even the roof tiles weren't
Francesco came to help you
with the Nativity scene.
Yes, but
Have you seen Gabriella's window display?
Gianna, we can't compete
without Francesco.
You and I will do the rest, right?
Gianna
You'll be saying,
"She has to give up here."
"She's hit rock bottom."
"Men have failed her.
Her family have failed her."
But you need to remember this
[music rewinds]
Happiness is a matter of perspective,
after all.
If you're thinking of breaking into
Davide's house, it's not a good idea.
I'm changing perspective.
This year, the shop's Nativity scene
[drill whirrs]
will be done by us.
[funky Christmas music playing]
BASED ON HOME FOR CHRISTMAS
I got, I got my style ♪
I got, I got my style ♪
And it's all right ♪
I got my style ♪
I got my style ♪