I May Destroy You (2020) s01e04 Episode Script
That Was Fun
1
So, I have your name.
"Arabella Essiedu."
Next to that, "Stranger one,
seven weeks ago, DFSA,"
which stands for
Drug-Facilitated Sexual Assault.
So, anything else I come to know
will be what you share with me
and is confidential.
Okay.
- Has it started?
- The session?
Yeah.
Okay.
- How long does this?
- One hour.
'Kay.
- It's tough.
- Yeah.
How are you doing?
I'm great. Great. I'm great
as long as I'm around people.
Um, when I'm alone
Flashbacks?
It's just sometimes
it gets a bit much.
What do you do
when it gets a bit much?
I just I just make sure
I'm around someone, anyone.
Um, and if I'm not, I say
"There are hungry children.
There are hungry children.
There are hungry children.
There's a war in Syria.
There's a war in Syria.
There's a war in Syria,"
or, "Not everyone
has a smartphone.
Not everyone has a smartphone.
Not everyone has a smartphone."
To remind myself
of the bigger picture.
Sometimes, when we try
our best to see the big picture,
we lose sight
of the little one altogether.
The little detail here is you.
Oh, yeah.
Rape Trauma Syndrome
has got some common symptoms,
frequent flashbacks,
high irritability in places
or situations that
remind you of the assault,
difficulty focusing,
emotional numbing,
which can sometimes be
a hard one to know you have.
Do you have any advice for focus
'cause I have the first draft
of a book due?
I was doing all right
before everything, but now
my head's just sort of
Yeah, they have given me, um
a guy to help me.
Have you asked
to take a break?
I don't get paid until
I've delivered my first draft,
so a break isn't gonna help me.
The only thing they're paying
for is this therapy.
I see. Okay.
I can only remind you
to take care of yourself
whenever possible.
With family?
Family?
Yeah.
Yeah. I see I see 'em a bit.
You haven't told your mom,
I guess.
But I've got friends.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And my friends, they You know,
they will know what happened.
It's helpful
to identify people you trust.
And then from there,
try doing relaxing
creative things together.
Like?
you could go for walks, yoga,
jogging, meditation, painting.
- Painting?
- Handicrafts.
I don't even think I know
what handicrafts is.
Coloring in.
Uh, yeah. My friends
aren't really gonna be, uh
Ben, actually, err,
this is his kinda shit.
Ben will be into
I'll just text him.
He's typing.
Ah. He's not in tonight.
Fuck. Band practice.
I'll sort it. I'm okay.
I'll be fine.
I will I Yeah.
I'm good.
Yeah. I know what I'm gonna do.
I'll be fine.
You are the phoenix
rising from the flames.
What are you?
- The phoenix.
- What are you?
- The phoenix.
- All right.
Take flight over the bodies
of your dead enemies.
What are you?
Are you gonna be the phoenix
or the pigeon, class?
- The phoenix.
- Right.
No, no, no, no, no.
Double time.
Double time.
What are you saying, huh? Huh?
What are you saying?
Right, yous lot,
you don't need to pretend
to be someone you're not.
You do that every day.
At work, on the train,
at home with your family.
When you're here with me,
I give you permission to do you.
Knee pump.
- Four. And three, two, one.
- Four, three, two, one.
- Well done.
- Whoo!
Well done, my phoenixes.
All right.
Two minutes, water break.
All right.
Get your air inside you. Good.
- Yo.
- Hey.
my grandma really liked
your class this morning.
- The aqua-aerobics
-Oh, I'm glad.
Yeah, I saw you in the, um
I saw you in the window.
Cool. Um
Y'know, it's actually
my last class, so
if you wanna grab a coffee
or something
I'll be done in 30.
- Okay, everyone.
- Back on in one minute.
You know what, I actually feel
a bit sorry for him.
Yeah?
Yeah.
He's visiting from Ghana.
Most days, he can't even
look me in the eye.
I'm like I'm like, "Hey, Dad."
He's scrunching his face,
cursing the house.
Ah, it's whatever.
One more day and he gone.
I've never really spoken
to a brother who was, uh
What? Gay?
Come on.
You can say it.
We're in Britain.
No one's gonna throw me
off a building
or chase me with a stick.
You can say it.
Say what I am.
A gay guy.
Are we the same?
Look, even if you never find
an answer,
I think it's really cool
that you're asking yourself
the question.
This is me.
So, like, uh
- I would, but
- Your dad's there?
- You live with your nan, right?
- Yeah.
If I could find somewhere
for us,
would you be interested?
I could be, still.
Even if it involved
someone else?
Yeah, I ain't scared.
Why would you be?
- Sorry I'm late.
- No. No. Um
Thank you for
- You good?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- How you doing?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, um, Francine called
- to say you need some
- Yes.
Closing the tills now
'cause we're closing.
Do you want anything?
Great. Thank you.
We could try a bar.
Some hotel ones
are pretty quiet.
- A bar?
- Okay. Not a bar.
Um, we could use the office.
I can ask Julian
if his office is free.
I'm good with a bar.
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Yeah.
"Tina finished her Sprite,
considered leaving
but realized she didn't know
the way to the bus stop.
She went to the toilet.
You sat there
like an African King
in Adidas trackies,
smiling at the bones
left on your plates.
You rubbed your lips together,
leaving no corner,
crack, or crevice safe
from the chicken grease.
With the skill of a magician"
Okay.
Sorry.
No, no, no. Don't say sorry.
Don't say sorry.
What, um
genre is this?
It's just like
It's actually quite hard
to really, um
Hi there, would you
like to order anything?
Just water.
Tap for me. And?
No. I'm not
I'm not drinking anything.
So, uh, Tina and Terrell in
Tinsel Town is just one chapter.
- I go into all these different
- What's your background?
Ghana.
Career background?
How did you, uh
Oh, right. How did I start?
Yeah.
Yeah, I was just
expressing myself online, and
yeah, people just seemed
to really respond to the stuff
- I was
- Tweeting?
Yeah. And then
everyone on Twitter was like,
"Why haven't you got a book?
You should make a book."
So then, I was like,
"Yeah. I'm gonna make"
- Make a book?
- Yeah. Exactly. Yeah.
What's it called?
Chronicles
of a Fed Up Millennial.
Chronicles
of a Fed Up Millennial?
And then this one
you're on the way to finishing?
No. I'm not
I'm not drinking anything.
And you're being published
by Henny House.
That's
Most people who, um, who get
a commission from Susy Henny
know about Susy Henny.
Who knew I could sub three years
of uni for a Twitter account?
I know a lot of people
with degrees
who are good and
No, no, it doesn't
have to I didn't
I'm so sorry, I have to go.
-It's not you, it's just, uh
-That's my bad.
I'm sorry about that.
Sorry.
Long time, sis. Long time.
Yeah, man.
I was in the area.
You live, like, 10 minutes away.
Where is your key, man?
Mom's at work,
I'm goin' to church, so
There's war in Syria.
There's war in Syria.
There's war in Syria.
The children are hungry.
The children are hungry.
The children are hungry.
Not everyone has a smartphone.
You ready?
I don't have to do anything
with the other guy, right?
Nah, you ain't got to do
anything at all.
You're very sexy, Kwame.
Sup!
- Hey.
- What you sayin'?
Yeah. What you sayin'?
It's shoes off.
Yo.
I'm outside.
This is good.
Good, or good considering?
Considering what?
Uh, what's
What's your background?
India.
You're such a fucking dick.
Um, I studied creative writing,
and got signed in final year.
Oh, where did you go?
I was with Portland Street
Publishers first,
but Julian seemed a little more
rough and ready.
- Do you know what I mean?
- No. Uh, where did you go uni?
Cambridge.
You went to Cambridge?
Of course, you did. Yes.
Now I get it.
Oh, Zain, I'm so sorry,
No, I'm actually really sorry.
- You done? You
- Oh. No.
- Nope?
- You went to Cambridge.
You must be hugging
your certificate at night.
Do you like coloring pencils?
No.
Fuck.
Shall I go? I've got no idea
what's going on.
No, no. I'm just
I'm just like,
"Did I know
this was gonna happen?
Is this a good idea?"
Dunno.
What?
Well, we're probably gonna
be having sex soon, innit?
- Shall we do that now?
- Yeah.
Why don't you care
about my book?
- 'Cause you don't.
- Oh, fuck off, mate.
- Ben? Ben?
- Hello, mate.
This is Zain.
- Hi. Hi.
- Hello, mate.
I didn't know
that you were here.
Yeah, same.
Didn't hear a thing.
I was just listening
to the band sesh,
- kinda sounding pretty good.
- That's fantastic.
- See you in the morning.
- Great.
Oh, uh, I do like the idea
of painting though,
- so we should do that one day.
- Yeah.
So, um
- this is my room.
- Can I just kiss you?
I've been thinking about it
for a few hours.
Sorry.
You Yeah. You okay?
Yeah. Yeah. Just, uh
Yeah.
- I can go or If you're not
- No. Uh
Please, stay.
- What about you?
- What about me?
- Where you from?
- Depends who's asking.
If it's a black person,
I'm gonna tell them
I'm from Nigeria.
If they're English asking me
where I'm from,
they're getting Barking
and Dagenham, bruv.
If they ask me a second time,
they're getting sparked.
As if.
Yo, bruv, I beg you
play something else.
Oh, for real?
What you into?
I'm into everything.
Is that right?
Tell me that again.
I said I'm into everything.
He's into me.
I ain't trying to fuck him.
Some bruddas
like the quiet ting.
Some bruddas just watch.
You're fucking sexy,
you know that?
Come here.
Have you got a condom?
Oh, uh, yeah. In my bag,
but it's in the Whoa.
Uh, wait, wait, wait.
Turn over.
Bro, you want some of this?
Get on the bed.
I wanna fuck you bareback.
Uh, no, no. I don't do that.
I thought
you were into everything?
Yeah. Not that.
Boy, is that all you got for me?
Yeah, I'm bouncing still.
What? Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
One sec.
Can I do anything for you?
Fuck him.
You're amazing.
Come here.
I'm gonna come.
- Better Better use the
- Yeah, it's first on the left.
Uh, there is a bin in the one
across the hallway. Sorry.
What?
A bin for the condom.
There's a
- Where did you put the condom?
- I
I took it off.
I thought you
Oh, shit. Um
Yeah. It got uncomfortable,
so
- You're joking.
- No. No. Look, here, see
There.
I thought you knew.
Uh, couldn't you feel it?
- No, I couldn't fucking feel it.
- I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Um, Zain
Um, I, uh
I I didn't wanna stop,
'cause it was
-Um
-I don't know.
Maybe that's normal for you,
- but that was pretty insane
for me.
- Yeah, no. But, Zain,
I have I have to get
the pill, for fuck's sake.
I know, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry. Um
- Uh
- It was really fucking
good though.
Yes, it was.
You are paying for it.
Right.
I'm gonna wait outside.
That was fun.
Stay.
Stay.
Fuck.
What happened?
It's fine. It's fine.
It's just my nail.
It's fine.
Good. Come here.
- No, look, I have to go.
- Playing. I'm just playing.
- Just go on the bed.
- Why?
Go on the bed.
Yo, yo, no.
We're not having sex again.
It's not sex.
What the fuck, man?
Can you Can you
Can you stop that?
Can you just get off me?
Get Get the fuck off me!
What can I say, I'm a bad boy.
See ya.
Done.
Hey, bae.
Hey.
You all right?
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You?
I'm good, bae. What you on?
Uh, I'm just going
Going to bed.
I just thought
I'd say goodnight, bae.
Aw. Love you, bae.
Night, bae.
He secretly
took off the condom.
There are actuak forums
where men share tips
and phrases like,
"I thought you knew."
Couldn't you feel it?
What is going though
their heads?
We've got some results back,
and we have a potential suspect.
- Ooh. You ain't told him?
- I have to tell you something.
I wanted to report something.
I'm here to report a crime.
- Arabella! Susie, honey.
- You're Susie?
We would love for you to read
at The Writing Summit.
It's impossible to protect
yourself from his nature.
Assess the crowd,
gather their strength,
and look him in the eye.
So, I have your name.
"Arabella Essiedu."
Next to that, "Stranger one,
seven weeks ago, DFSA,"
which stands for
Drug-Facilitated Sexual Assault.
So, anything else I come to know
will be what you share with me
and is confidential.
Okay.
- Has it started?
- The session?
Yeah.
Okay.
- How long does this?
- One hour.
'Kay.
- It's tough.
- Yeah.
How are you doing?
I'm great. Great. I'm great
as long as I'm around people.
Um, when I'm alone
Flashbacks?
It's just sometimes
it gets a bit much.
What do you do
when it gets a bit much?
I just I just make sure
I'm around someone, anyone.
Um, and if I'm not, I say
"There are hungry children.
There are hungry children.
There are hungry children.
There's a war in Syria.
There's a war in Syria.
There's a war in Syria,"
or, "Not everyone
has a smartphone.
Not everyone has a smartphone.
Not everyone has a smartphone."
To remind myself
of the bigger picture.
Sometimes, when we try
our best to see the big picture,
we lose sight
of the little one altogether.
The little detail here is you.
Oh, yeah.
Rape Trauma Syndrome
has got some common symptoms,
frequent flashbacks,
high irritability in places
or situations that
remind you of the assault,
difficulty focusing,
emotional numbing,
which can sometimes be
a hard one to know you have.
Do you have any advice for focus
'cause I have the first draft
of a book due?
I was doing all right
before everything, but now
my head's just sort of
Yeah, they have given me, um
a guy to help me.
Have you asked
to take a break?
I don't get paid until
I've delivered my first draft,
so a break isn't gonna help me.
The only thing they're paying
for is this therapy.
I see. Okay.
I can only remind you
to take care of yourself
whenever possible.
With family?
Family?
Yeah.
Yeah. I see I see 'em a bit.
You haven't told your mom,
I guess.
But I've got friends.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And my friends, they You know,
they will know what happened.
It's helpful
to identify people you trust.
And then from there,
try doing relaxing
creative things together.
Like?
you could go for walks, yoga,
jogging, meditation, painting.
- Painting?
- Handicrafts.
I don't even think I know
what handicrafts is.
Coloring in.
Uh, yeah. My friends
aren't really gonna be, uh
Ben, actually, err,
this is his kinda shit.
Ben will be into
I'll just text him.
He's typing.
Ah. He's not in tonight.
Fuck. Band practice.
I'll sort it. I'm okay.
I'll be fine.
I will I Yeah.
I'm good.
Yeah. I know what I'm gonna do.
I'll be fine.
You are the phoenix
rising from the flames.
What are you?
- The phoenix.
- What are you?
- The phoenix.
- All right.
Take flight over the bodies
of your dead enemies.
What are you?
Are you gonna be the phoenix
or the pigeon, class?
- The phoenix.
- Right.
No, no, no, no, no.
Double time.
Double time.
What are you saying, huh? Huh?
What are you saying?
Right, yous lot,
you don't need to pretend
to be someone you're not.
You do that every day.
At work, on the train,
at home with your family.
When you're here with me,
I give you permission to do you.
Knee pump.
- Four. And three, two, one.
- Four, three, two, one.
- Well done.
- Whoo!
Well done, my phoenixes.
All right.
Two minutes, water break.
All right.
Get your air inside you. Good.
- Yo.
- Hey.
my grandma really liked
your class this morning.
- The aqua-aerobics
-Oh, I'm glad.
Yeah, I saw you in the, um
I saw you in the window.
Cool. Um
Y'know, it's actually
my last class, so
if you wanna grab a coffee
or something
I'll be done in 30.
- Okay, everyone.
- Back on in one minute.
You know what, I actually feel
a bit sorry for him.
Yeah?
Yeah.
He's visiting from Ghana.
Most days, he can't even
look me in the eye.
I'm like I'm like, "Hey, Dad."
He's scrunching his face,
cursing the house.
Ah, it's whatever.
One more day and he gone.
I've never really spoken
to a brother who was, uh
What? Gay?
Come on.
You can say it.
We're in Britain.
No one's gonna throw me
off a building
or chase me with a stick.
You can say it.
Say what I am.
A gay guy.
Are we the same?
Look, even if you never find
an answer,
I think it's really cool
that you're asking yourself
the question.
This is me.
So, like, uh
- I would, but
- Your dad's there?
- You live with your nan, right?
- Yeah.
If I could find somewhere
for us,
would you be interested?
I could be, still.
Even if it involved
someone else?
Yeah, I ain't scared.
Why would you be?
- Sorry I'm late.
- No. No. Um
Thank you for
- You good?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- How you doing?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, um, Francine called
- to say you need some
- Yes.
Closing the tills now
'cause we're closing.
Do you want anything?
Great. Thank you.
We could try a bar.
Some hotel ones
are pretty quiet.
- A bar?
- Okay. Not a bar.
Um, we could use the office.
I can ask Julian
if his office is free.
I'm good with a bar.
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Yeah.
"Tina finished her Sprite,
considered leaving
but realized she didn't know
the way to the bus stop.
She went to the toilet.
You sat there
like an African King
in Adidas trackies,
smiling at the bones
left on your plates.
You rubbed your lips together,
leaving no corner,
crack, or crevice safe
from the chicken grease.
With the skill of a magician"
Okay.
Sorry.
No, no, no. Don't say sorry.
Don't say sorry.
What, um
genre is this?
It's just like
It's actually quite hard
to really, um
Hi there, would you
like to order anything?
Just water.
Tap for me. And?
No. I'm not
I'm not drinking anything.
So, uh, Tina and Terrell in
Tinsel Town is just one chapter.
- I go into all these different
- What's your background?
Ghana.
Career background?
How did you, uh
Oh, right. How did I start?
Yeah.
Yeah, I was just
expressing myself online, and
yeah, people just seemed
to really respond to the stuff
- I was
- Tweeting?
Yeah. And then
everyone on Twitter was like,
"Why haven't you got a book?
You should make a book."
So then, I was like,
"Yeah. I'm gonna make"
- Make a book?
- Yeah. Exactly. Yeah.
What's it called?
Chronicles
of a Fed Up Millennial.
Chronicles
of a Fed Up Millennial?
And then this one
you're on the way to finishing?
No. I'm not
I'm not drinking anything.
And you're being published
by Henny House.
That's
Most people who, um, who get
a commission from Susy Henny
know about Susy Henny.
Who knew I could sub three years
of uni for a Twitter account?
I know a lot of people
with degrees
who are good and
No, no, it doesn't
have to I didn't
I'm so sorry, I have to go.
-It's not you, it's just, uh
-That's my bad.
I'm sorry about that.
Sorry.
Long time, sis. Long time.
Yeah, man.
I was in the area.
You live, like, 10 minutes away.
Where is your key, man?
Mom's at work,
I'm goin' to church, so
There's war in Syria.
There's war in Syria.
There's war in Syria.
The children are hungry.
The children are hungry.
The children are hungry.
Not everyone has a smartphone.
You ready?
I don't have to do anything
with the other guy, right?
Nah, you ain't got to do
anything at all.
You're very sexy, Kwame.
Sup!
- Hey.
- What you sayin'?
Yeah. What you sayin'?
It's shoes off.
Yo.
I'm outside.
This is good.
Good, or good considering?
Considering what?
Uh, what's
What's your background?
India.
You're such a fucking dick.
Um, I studied creative writing,
and got signed in final year.
Oh, where did you go?
I was with Portland Street
Publishers first,
but Julian seemed a little more
rough and ready.
- Do you know what I mean?
- No. Uh, where did you go uni?
Cambridge.
You went to Cambridge?
Of course, you did. Yes.
Now I get it.
Oh, Zain, I'm so sorry,
No, I'm actually really sorry.
- You done? You
- Oh. No.
- Nope?
- You went to Cambridge.
You must be hugging
your certificate at night.
Do you like coloring pencils?
No.
Fuck.
Shall I go? I've got no idea
what's going on.
No, no. I'm just
I'm just like,
"Did I know
this was gonna happen?
Is this a good idea?"
Dunno.
What?
Well, we're probably gonna
be having sex soon, innit?
- Shall we do that now?
- Yeah.
Why don't you care
about my book?
- 'Cause you don't.
- Oh, fuck off, mate.
- Ben? Ben?
- Hello, mate.
This is Zain.
- Hi. Hi.
- Hello, mate.
I didn't know
that you were here.
Yeah, same.
Didn't hear a thing.
I was just listening
to the band sesh,
- kinda sounding pretty good.
- That's fantastic.
- See you in the morning.
- Great.
Oh, uh, I do like the idea
of painting though,
- so we should do that one day.
- Yeah.
So, um
- this is my room.
- Can I just kiss you?
I've been thinking about it
for a few hours.
Sorry.
You Yeah. You okay?
Yeah. Yeah. Just, uh
Yeah.
- I can go or If you're not
- No. Uh
Please, stay.
- What about you?
- What about me?
- Where you from?
- Depends who's asking.
If it's a black person,
I'm gonna tell them
I'm from Nigeria.
If they're English asking me
where I'm from,
they're getting Barking
and Dagenham, bruv.
If they ask me a second time,
they're getting sparked.
As if.
Yo, bruv, I beg you
play something else.
Oh, for real?
What you into?
I'm into everything.
Is that right?
Tell me that again.
I said I'm into everything.
He's into me.
I ain't trying to fuck him.
Some bruddas
like the quiet ting.
Some bruddas just watch.
You're fucking sexy,
you know that?
Come here.
Have you got a condom?
Oh, uh, yeah. In my bag,
but it's in the Whoa.
Uh, wait, wait, wait.
Turn over.
Bro, you want some of this?
Get on the bed.
I wanna fuck you bareback.
Uh, no, no. I don't do that.
I thought
you were into everything?
Yeah. Not that.
Boy, is that all you got for me?
Yeah, I'm bouncing still.
What? Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
One sec.
Can I do anything for you?
Fuck him.
You're amazing.
Come here.
I'm gonna come.
- Better Better use the
- Yeah, it's first on the left.
Uh, there is a bin in the one
across the hallway. Sorry.
What?
A bin for the condom.
There's a
- Where did you put the condom?
- I
I took it off.
I thought you
Oh, shit. Um
Yeah. It got uncomfortable,
so
- You're joking.
- No. No. Look, here, see
There.
I thought you knew.
Uh, couldn't you feel it?
- No, I couldn't fucking feel it.
- I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Um, Zain
Um, I, uh
I I didn't wanna stop,
'cause it was
-Um
-I don't know.
Maybe that's normal for you,
- but that was pretty insane
for me.
- Yeah, no. But, Zain,
I have I have to get
the pill, for fuck's sake.
I know, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry. Um
- Uh
- It was really fucking
good though.
Yes, it was.
You are paying for it.
Right.
I'm gonna wait outside.
That was fun.
Stay.
Stay.
Fuck.
What happened?
It's fine. It's fine.
It's just my nail.
It's fine.
Good. Come here.
- No, look, I have to go.
- Playing. I'm just playing.
- Just go on the bed.
- Why?
Go on the bed.
Yo, yo, no.
We're not having sex again.
It's not sex.
What the fuck, man?
Can you Can you
Can you stop that?
Can you just get off me?
Get Get the fuck off me!
What can I say, I'm a bad boy.
See ya.
Done.
Hey, bae.
Hey.
You all right?
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You?
I'm good, bae. What you on?
Uh, I'm just going
Going to bed.
I just thought
I'd say goodnight, bae.
Aw. Love you, bae.
Night, bae.
He secretly
took off the condom.
There are actuak forums
where men share tips
and phrases like,
"I thought you knew."
Couldn't you feel it?
What is going though
their heads?
We've got some results back,
and we have a potential suspect.
- Ooh. You ain't told him?
- I have to tell you something.
I wanted to report something.
I'm here to report a crime.
- Arabella! Susie, honey.
- You're Susie?
We would love for you to read
at The Writing Summit.
It's impossible to protect
yourself from his nature.
Assess the crowd,
gather their strength,
and look him in the eye.