It's a Sin (2021) s01e04 Episode Script
Episode 4
1
- [MAN ON TV.]
There is now a danger - It's on! Ritchie! that has become a threat to us all.
It is a deadly disease and there is no known cure.
- Is that the BBC? - The virus can be passed during sexual intercourse with an infected person.
Anyone can get it, man or woman.
So far it's been confined to small groups, but it's spreading so protect yourself My mother's watching this.
and read this leaflet when it arrives.
If you ignore AIDS, it could be the death of you, so don't die of ignorance.
- All right.
- All right.
All right then.
- [MUSIC STARTS.]
- Oh, I love him.
- and you know it, clap your hands - [CROWD CLAPS.]
Sweet dreams are made of this Who am I to disagree? I travel the world and the seven seas Everybody's looking for something Some of them want to use you Some of them want to get used by you Some of them want to abuse you gavest, Lord, is ended The darkness falls at thy behest [VICAR.]
And we will always remember Peter as a man of great enthusiasm, his love of languages, he loved travelling, he loved good food, and let's not forget he had a lifelong passion for cars.
He spent years restoring that old MG and when it was done, he sold it.
He said, "I'm ready for the next project," and that was him, always looking ahead.
And that's a fine way to remember him: as a wonderful son, a fine brother to Ruth and a loving uncle to Steven and Grace.
- Now, if you'd like to - And boyfriend to Nicholas.
- What? - [VICAR.]
I'm sorry, but, ah, if we could just continue, thank you.
He was boyfriend to Nick Jacobs for six years.
You can't leave him out like he doesn't exist.
I'm really very sorry, but it's not the time or the place.
Oh, yes, it is.
Nick isn't even here because you banned him.
He loved your son, Mrs Burrows, - all the way to the end.
- For God's sake.
- What's wrong with that? - Shame on you.
Shame on you! Can't you leave us alone for one day of our lives.
- We knew him.
- [VICAR.]
Stop or I'll ask you to leave.
- We knew who he really was.
- This is my mother sitting here - You all know what it was.
- You are all dirty people! I love it.
[RITCHIE.]
I think it's their son's funeral, for God's sake.
- Of all the days to have a go at them.
- Don't be so pathetic, Ritchie.
No, his mother's devastated, be fair.
Do you know what she did, his mother, his lovely mum? She chucked him out onto the street, changed the locks, put his stuff in bin bags and threw it away.
They took the dog, Ritchie.
They took the fucking dog.
And there's just nothing we can do.
Nick's got no legal standing whatsoever.
He's not a widow, he's not an ex.
He's just nothing.
- [JILL.]
Look out.
- [UNCLE BILL.]
You bastard.
Don't start a fight.
I'm the one doing everything wrong, am I? We're going.
Come on.
See you, boys.
Mmm.
- When's Curtis? - Thirty-first.
He's being buried in Camberley.
It's a two-hour drive, so I'll do maps.
And see you the 25th? Don't miss it.
We need numbers.
- I can't.
- Come on.
We need everyone.
You know why I can't do that in public, I just can't.
Why? What do you do? I'm an actor.
That's impressive.
You you, you bastards! - You bastards! - Thanks.
- [PAUL.]
Karl, come on, no.
All right.
- [KARL.]
Whoa, whoa.
[KARL.]
Stop it now.
[CHRISTINE.]
Here they come.
- The kettle's on! - I thought you'd gone home.
- You promised me.
- We delayed one more day.
She's been cooking.
You've all been through such a terrible time, I wanted to do something.
I tried to make goulash.
It's turned into more of a curry.
Bathroom's mine.
- How was it? - Awful.
Absolutely awful.
- Aw.
- Thanks, Mum.
Don't go home.
Stay for 16 weeks if you want.
You shouldn't be going to funerals at your age.
Here's my girl.
- Oh, God, me too.
Look out.
- [ALL LAUGH.]
If we had heterosexual boys dying in these numbers, the world would have stopped.
There'd be uproar.
There'd be riots.
That's what we're doing on the 25th.
Direct action.
Like they did in America, out on the streets.
Don't get yourself in trouble.
Princess Di gave a handshake.
Can't you just do something like that? Do you know the worst thing about it, the absolute worst, it's that every single conversation has to go on and on about AIDS.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Don't be so rude.
It's all we ever hear.
I came to London when I was 18, and I thought, "Great, I can be gay.
" - But then I just end up as this problem.
- That's my fault.
That's me.
I'm just saying, one night off.
Well, we have got news.
I didn't wanna say, 'cause you're only gonna worry, but we think we can buy this place, get a mortgage on the Pink Palace, - me and Ritchie.
- [CHRISTINE.]
Can you afford it? You see? I said you'd worry.
We asked Mr Santini, and he said he'd sell for 42,000.
£42,000? For a flat? It's not bad for London, but my show's gonna keep running.
We've got bookings up to summer '89, so that's a guaranteed income.
And I'm earning enough, just about.
It's not constant work, but I make about 7,000 a year.
Can you get a mortgage though? Are you allowed one, as a gay man? Are you a homosexual? - No.
- No.
You ever had an HIV test? - No.
- No.
Have you ever shared a bed with another man? No.
They never asked, so that's all done, and we'll get rent off these annoying lodgers.
We'll draw up proper contracts and all that stuff.
- We'll be ruthless.
- Hmm, my cruel landlord.
I like it.
Au revoir.
Here she is, Queen of the Nile.
Mm, enjoy your feast.
I shall not return until the morn.
Don't forget the kitty.
We need to stock up tomorrow.
Ooh, my great delight, madame.
Please, avail yourself of my felicitudes.
Is that a word? It is now.
Bloody hell.
You sure you got enough? Whatever you're doing, give us a job.
- I don't think you'd like it, Dad.
- Uh, hey, I work hard for this.
You get hard for it.
Ugh, peasant scum.
Farewell.
[ALL LAUGH.]
So what does he do? Question is, who does he do? [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING.]
Could I have a vodka? [ARTHUR.]
So I said, "If boroughs already have the capacity to opt out, what's the problem?" [TIMOTHY.]
You cannot assume any wisdom on the part of these people, Arthur.
And that's the point.
Let him finish.
The point is with a system as ramshackle as the ILEA, no one knows what's what.
The word is an alliance.
I've been told an alliance between Tebbit and Heseltine, a pact made in hell.
Good God above, there is shaking in the heavens.
How in earth do they find any common ground? Dark magic is abroad.
That's all I can say, dark magic.
So it's doomed.
The ILEA is doomed.
Every London borough now becomes its own authority, and that means an influx of cash waiting to be scooped up.
So you stay on top, Tim, and you could be quids in.
[TIMOTHY.]
Oh, cheers.
- Chin-chin.
- Good health.
I think we've seen that suit five or six times now.
Get something new, hmm? You're gonna need something rather special for the 25th.
I'm busy that day.
- Can I ask, don't be? - Why? What's happening? - I'm not allowed to say.
- Don't tell me then.
No, I'm I'm not allowed to say, as a matter of national security.
Just keep the day free, hmm? But, more importantly, I thought you could be Nanny tonight.
Can't I be Mellors? I think Nanny's cross with me.
Okay.
Naughty boy.
I'm serious about the 25th.
Parents can come.
We need as many people as we can get.
Okay.
Sleep well.
Love you.
- Bye.
- Bye.
[ALAN.]
Bye.
Goodnight, Duchess.
I'll tidy up.
[RITCHIE.]
I just need to know if you're HIV And that's if, okay? If.
Is there anything you can take to stop HIV becoming AIDS? [MAN.]
And have you been tested for HIV? No, but that's not the point.
What about AZT? Can I buy that? No, I'm sorry, it's not for sale.
And it's not a cure.
But I'm trying everything.
They said eggs help the immune system.
They say flaxseed, that's supposed to be good for you, and lecithin granules in melted butter, they say it fights HIV.
[MAN.]
You should be tested.
And piss.
Everyone says drinking your own piss makes you stronger.
Someone said there's this man, he had HIV and he was cured, he stopped AIDS by taking battery acid.
Is that true? [MAN.]
Please don't try that.
Please don't try anything dangerous.
It's acid.
It could hurt you.
It could kill you.
[RETCHES.]
[MAN.]
You need to get yourself tested.
Please listen to me.
Please get a test.
Are you there? The problem is the 25th.
The committee's hosting an exhibition reaching out worldwide, so we've got displays from France and New Zealand and Portugal, but one thing we're really short of is coloured faces.
- Well, here I am, massa.
- Stop it.
We'd just, you know, have more balance if you were there and there is something of a bonus.
I'm told that the exhibition will be visited by the Lady.
No way.
Timetable says that Maggie's due to arrive at 11:00 a.
m.
on the dot.
And I've just gotta be black? You won't actually be meeting her, Roscoe.
You're just there to be visible, but this could do us both a bit of good.
I don't think Mrs Thatcher's particularly aware of me, but given a slight nudge, all those contacts in France could pay off.
Visit to Paris would be nice.
Would you like that? - Just the two of us? - Yeah.
- No one would know you over there.
- Good.
We could walk down the street.
I'd like that.
Yeah.
Merci.
Mm-hmm.
And if you sign there.
And you sign there.
I think we're done.
That's it.
Congratulations.
[ALL SCREAMING.]
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING.]
Careful, that's mine.
Oh, and watch your jeans on the wall.
Denim leaves a mark.
This is my property now.
So they said it could be six month's work 'cause this teacher's having a hip replacement, and I'm thinking, "Great, proper job," and it's got 2,000 pupils and it is rough as hell, but that's okay.
Except I walk in, I report to the office and I get shown around by Mr Crane.
- And these are the pigeon holes.
- [BELL RINGS.]
The head likes a memo, [ASH IMITATING MR CRANE.]
so check them every day but not too often.
We know what you're like, you lot.
Fiddling with your holes.
[GASPS.]
He did not.
But how do they know? All I did was walk in, said, "Hello.
" Best behaviour, but they just know, read us, they can smell it.
- Walked on with - [LAUGHING.]
And that's just the beginning 'cause then he takes me into the library.
And he said, "I thought perfect job for you.
Make a start in here removing inappropriate material.
Like what? [IMITATING MR CRANE.]
"Clause 28.
We have to remove any books or material that might be promoting a homosexual lifestyle.
" [JILL.]
Bloody hell.
- You see, they're burning books.
- Yes.
- So what did you do? - No choice.
I could get sacked for saying one gay thing out loud in school, so I did as I was told.
How's it going? [SARCASTIC.]
Great, fine, good.
And what did you find? Nothing.
"What do you mean, nothing?" I mean, nothing.
I found nothing.
I checked Shakespeare, nothing.
You might get versions on the stage that get a bit fruity with men in togas, but you need to ban the director, not the book, 'cause in the whole of Shakespeare, there's not one man with a man, not one woman with a woman.
Dickens.
Nothing.
He wrote about the rich and the poor and dwarves and saints and orphans and ghosts, not one homosexual, not anywhere.
Jane Austen did not write about lesbians.
- Sorry, Sal.
- [ALL LAUGHING.]
I checked the history books.
So what if Julius Caesar and Aristotle and Alexander The Great had the odd little fling with a catamite not according to the school books, they didn't.
I looked at Asterix and Tintin.
I looked at Disney and sport and the Bible.
I looked at the Talmud and the Quran and the Guinness Book of Records.
I looked at all the vast halls of literature and culture and science and art, and there is not the slightest danger of any child ever being infected, 'cause there's not one gay man or woman anywhere.
There is nothing.
There is nothing.
That's what you're protecting them from.
- Nothing.
- [WHOOPING.]
But what did you really say? There's a couple of Mary Renault's.
- That is just appalling.
- That's Margaret Thatcher.
That's her law.
You voted for her.
- I'm just gonna say - Oh, here he goes.
No, but if you're gonna write a book about two gay fathers for five year olds, - I think that's wrong.
- Have you read it? - You are terrible.
- It's wrong, it's wrong, it's wrong.
[SIGHS.]
[SIGHS.]
You old Tory.
[LAUGHS.]
[LAUGHING.]
Hey, that's me.
[SIGHS.]
Hmm.
Nice party.
It was great.
Haven't done this in a while.
[LAUGHS, SIGHS.]
[SIGHS.]
No? Ah I'm tired.
Do you Do you wanna try? I'm okay.
[WHISPERING.]
Okay.
Can I stay? I'm really knackered.
Okay.
I can wait.
What does that mean? You're not waiting for me, are you? Don't know.
Might do.
Goodnight.
[WOMAN.]
Floor two.
[SHOUTING.]
All right.
Surround the air lock.
All weapons primed, settings to maximum.
[WOMAN.]
Floor one.
[SHOUTING.]
They're breaking through, sir.
Ten seconds and counting.
Remember, if they get through, we lose the crystal and if we lose that, it's the end of the world.
[WOMAN.]
Floor zero.
[DALEK.]
Exterminate, exterminate.
[SHOUTING.]
Open fire.
[CHANTING.]
Exterminate, exterminate.
What's that? Okay.
We can cut there.
Thanks, everyone.
Nicely done, but we're gonna go again.
Let's reset.
Ritchie, it'll take a while, so we're just gonna pick up a close-up on you.
- Is that okay? - Yeah, sure, which bit? Uh, lose the crystal, lose the world, just stay there and thank you.
Okay, just stay on that spot.
We need to make you look gorgeous.
That's a lot of work.
[LAUGHS.]
[MAN.]
One second off.
- Ray! - [RAY.]
Yeah? We need to open up 15.
[RAY.]
Will do! [MAN.]
Great.
Thank you.
Something wrong with your skin.
[DOCTOR.]
Martin Pascoe, please.
I've had a look and the result seems to be definite.
I'm sorry to say you've passed the threshold into a diagnosis of AIDS.
Do you know what that means? Yes, I do.
Okay, we've got quite a few ways of approaching this, and we're getting new information all the time.
- I think we can start - That's all right.
I live in a house full of experts.
It's all we talk about all day long.
- There's a programme which can - I know, I know.
[INHALES.]
I know, okay, I really do know.
You're not telling me anything I don't know already.
Okay.
Perhaps I can ask what is it that you know? It's a death sentence.
I don't think you should be on your own at time like this.
Have you got anyone? [FADING OUT.]
At home? Friends or family? [SEAGULLS CHIRPING.]
Hello? [DOOR OPENS.]
What are you doing here? Bit early to get home from work.
Are you skiving? It's gonna be all about you now.
"Ritchie's home.
Here we go.
" Great.
Well good God.
Hello.
Oh.
Don't be so ridiculous.
That is a surprise.
What are you doing home? Hello.
- What's wrong? - Nothing.
Something smells nice.
Come on.
What's happened? What's wrong? Nothing.
I said.
There's a few people from school going out this weekend, so I said I'd come too, and I thought I'd cook the tea, which is nice of me.
I saw those steaks and I chopped them up.
Is that okay? Well, there's a difference between steak and casserole steak, but never mind.
We'll have a very expensive stew.
[LAUGHS.]
It's nice to see you.
- And there's nothing wrong? - No.
Hmm.
Bloody hell.
Jesus Christ, what's this? Could've warned me.
The hell are you doing home? Oh, Mum phoned you and told you at work, so don't pretend.
What is it then? What's wrong? How much is it gonna cost me? Oh, Gary Blades at work, his daughter said she saw you in that Sunshine play.
- Said you were very good.
- Oh, that's nice.
She also said you were onstage for about ten minutes.
Do the people with bigger parts get paid more? - Yeah.
- There you are.
Get bigger parts.
And hurry up, I'm starving.
Ready.
[CLIVE.]
Hold on a tick, let me finish this.
[VALERIE.]
You can do this more often.
Lucy, come on.
Your brother wants to poison you.
There's no escape! - What, are you not eating? - No, I'm going out.
I thought we were having a meal.
There's some of us meeting up for a drink.
I've got to go.
Sorry.
Sit down, have dinner with your mum, for God's sake.
No, I'm going down the Farmer's Arms.
I said so.
No, you can stop, sit down and have tea with us.
Your silly little friends can wait.
Stop racing off and give us 20 minutes for your mother's sake, okay? Yeah, well, you can fuck off.
What did you just say? - Oh, that's very clever.
- Hey, come back here.
- What have you done now? - Come and say that to my face.
I won't have that in this house! - [MUSIC PLAYING.]
- [CHATTERING.]
- [BARTENDER.]
What can I get you? - Pint of Burt's, thank you.
Hey, nice to see you, Ritchie.
Martin.
Still here then.
How's things? Oh, yeah, you know, not bad.
And you? - Good to see you.
- And you.
Sorry, bit busy.
[SONG PLAYS.]
- Did you hear about Donna Marie? - Oh, God, I did, yeah.
- Drugs.
- I know.
It's always the quiet girls like that.
They sit there in school doing their homework and behaving and not having a drink or anything and looking at the rest of us like we're maniacs, then they leave home and they haven't got a clue.
One drink and bang, they're off their heads.
It happens every time.
I always thought she was nice.
Oh, w well, she is, she was.
I don't know, I haven't seen her for years.
- You're an actor, they said.
- Yeah.
What sort of thing? Oh, things.
I was on TV.
I I did an episode of One By One.
Nah, don't know it.
Keep going though, you know.
Don't give up.
- [BARTENDER.]
Night, Martin.
- Night.
- [MARTIN.]
Nowhere to go? - Are you driving home? Yeah.
We're still in that same house, up by the bridge.
- Can I have a lift? - Yeah, suppose.
That's great.
Thank you.
Oh, do you remember? Every single party we'd end up going down the beach, all of us, every weekend.
We should do it now, for old time's sake, let's get some beer - and go to the beach.
- No, I'm driving.
Oh, don't be so boring.
You can have one, just one beer.
Stop at that offy on Brookdale that's open late.
I'll pay.
Just this once.
I never come home.
Go on, Martin, please.
The thing I don't get is, how do you become an actor? Like, do you have to learn plays, like, off by heart? Do you have to learn Hamlet? Well, only if you're in Hamlet.
So if someone playing Hamlet dropped dead tomorrow, could you then walk onto the stage and be him? No, I haven't learned it already.
Well, so how do you know? What to learn? It's not like that.
You go to college to learn everything, 'cause they teach you rhythm and speech and sword-fighting.
We did fencing.
Oh, that's good.
They teach you that for stunts.
- Could you be a stuntman? - I could.
Yeah.
- That's a great job.
- [LAUGHS.]
And you learn movement, and how to carry yourself, you do dance.
[LAUGHS.]
What, like ballet? - We did a bit of ballet, yeah.
- [LAUGHS.]
What? - You You did ballet in the tights? - No.
Are you a ballet dancer? [LAUGHS.]
We just did the basics and anyway, I was good.
I can plié.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, Jesus.
You can talk, you did that school play in a pair of shorts.
No, I was being a rugby player, with no lines.
Only did that 'cause we got lessons off.
It wasn't ballet.
You looked good.
You looked amazing.
I kept thinking you looked sexy.
[CHUCKLES.]
It's funny, I look back and I really fancied you.
- Is that okay? - Yeah.
'Cause, you know I live in London now and I'm gay.
Is that all right? It's not really a surprise.
[LAUGHS.]
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, my God.
- I mean, look at you.
- [LAUGHS.]
Did you always know? Dunno.
Did you know in school? Well, I never gave it much thought.
I mean, it it doesn't bother me.
Just don't give me AIDS, that's all.
[CHUCKLES.]
[LAUGHING.]
Of course.
But I fancied you so much, Martin.
And I fancied Carl Bowman and Ratty and that boy Simon Reynolds in the year above, but you were the best.
I used to watch you all the time.
I used to think about you night and day, all those years in school, going home every day and running upstairs and wanking about you.
- Okay, that's enough.
- Literally thousands of wanks.
Really, that's enough.
Julie Renwick said she once went home with you in the lunch-time and you had sex with her up against the fridge, and I thought about that a million times.
I still do.
I still think about it now.
- I still cum thinking about it.
- You fucking stop, all right? [MARTIN SNIFFS.]
I'll drive you home.
I loved you.
I thought tonight, say hello, get you drunk, bring you down the beach.
And suck you off.
I'm not gay.
You could just lie back and close your eyes.
I mean, don't you wanna cum? Everybody wants to cum.
Who doesn't wanna cum? If you could cum right now, wouldn't you? What the hell is wrong with you? Nothing.
This is really off, you know that? Yeah.
You, you didn't come all the way back to the island just for this, did you? No.
Well, do you know what, maybe I did.
[SIGHS.]
Oh, God.
Are you all right? Let's go home.
You can drop me off here, thanks.
Don't go up to the house.
You'll wake them up.
They're in bed by ten.
Every single night.
Bed by ten.
That was weird.
[WHISPERING.]
Sorry.
You wanna be careful, Ritchie.
Saying all that stuff.
Anyone else would punch your face in.
I'd punch them back.
- [LAUGHS.]
And you would.
- [LAUGHS.]
Anyway, go home.
- I'll see you around.
- Nah.
Bet you won't.
You're gonna be gone.
Any day now you're gonna be too posh for us lot and you won't come home anymore.
You'll be off be in Hollywood be James Bond or Top Gun or Zorro.
[LAUGHS.]
Do you think? Yeah, you'll be famous.
Do you know, I would love that.
There's nothing I would love more.
[WHISPERING.]
But it's never gonna happen.
I'm never gonna do those things.
I could have done anything.
[SOBBING.]
But I never will now.
I never will.
You might.
[SOBBING.]
I'll never be anything.
Ever.
[CRIES.]
Oh, God.
[SOBBING.]
Sorry.
[SNIFFS, CHUCKLES.]
What is it? What's wrong? [SIGHS.]
It really was nice to see you.
Look after yourself.
Yeah.
[WHISPERING.]
Bye.
I'm just gonna say it would mean the world to me if you came.
Sorry, I've got a date.
[SIGHS.]
His Master's Voice.
You ever gonna tell us who he is? No sign of Ritchie boy? [JILL.]
Vanished.
But he was never gonna come.
Never mind.
Colin would have loved that suit.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
It's for him, all of this today.
Yeah.
Well, I lived with Colin in this room.
I lived with him and I loved him, and I watched him get up and go to work and phone his mum and behave.
All his life, all he ever did was behave, and what happens? He died.
So I'm getting out of here, Jill.
You can wave your flags all you like, but I'm moving up.
[PAUL.]
Sure about this, beanpole? It's not gonna look good for a teacher if we get arrested.
I'll risk it.
Teaching stinks these days anyway.
- You really think we'll get arrested? - I hope so.
That's the plan.
Pretty little Ritchie couldn't make it then.
Be fair.
If he's seen as gay in public, he might never work again.
[PAUL.]
All aboard, come on.
[JILL.]
How many of us in total? Uh, they're coming from Reading and Salisbury.
[SIGHS.]
We might make 50.
That's not bad.
There's 600,000 gay people in this city.
Where the fuck are they? Roscoe Babatunde.
Thanks.
You can go through.
[SIGHS.]
Roscoe.
- Excuse me, sir.
- He's with me.
They put me on Jamaica, but my dad's from Nigeria.
- It's the other side of the world.
- She's early.
The Lady's early! - Oh, uh, I need that.
- What for? Uh, this tie's a bit of a giveaway.
The Lady doesn't really go for Wykehamists.
She's a grammar school girl.
You know? Isn't Denis public school? Well, non-conformist.
Would she believe me, wearing this? We have African princes, you know.
[SIGHS.]
No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Too soon.
She arrives.
She has introductions.
Then the tea comes out.
Otherwise it looks as if it's been stewing.
Wait there.
You don't stand around like a skivvy.
I swear, I have to do absolutely everything myself.
Oh, my God.
Ugh, um.
Get in, in, in.
Out, thank you very much, don't stand there dawdling.
Go back to the hall.
I'll give you a nod.
So, uh, how do I look? Good.
Let me see.
[SIGHS.]
Perfect gentleman.
Oh, the last button of a waistcoat should always be left undone.
My friend Colin taught me that.
Mm.
Oh, my God.
Have you got a hard-on? I am standing to attention.
You dirty dog.
Well, I can't help it.
She does make things rather exciting.
- That's for her? - The lady.
You're hard for her? It's quite a thrill.
She gives you a hard-on? Roscoe, you're young.
You don't understand the world yet.
I understand that you're gay.
Good God, I'm not gay.
Then what are you with me? Well, every so often one has to shove one's face in the shit just so you can lift your head up and smell the sweet roses afterwards.
Hold on.
Ah! Oh, where is she [SIGHS.]
They've waited long enough, we don't want it to get cold.
Go on.
- [ROSCOE.]
Oh, sorry.
- Excuse me.
All right.
Oh, well, you should get into position.
Fast as you can.
What happens here? Well, I wait here, I get the nod, I escort the lady to discover all the wonderful things we've been doing with telecommunications in Norway.
There, look.
It's exciting.
Yes.
Big day.
Extraordinary.
All down to you.
Isn't it just? So, tell me, Mrs Thatcher, does she drink tea or coffee? Coffee, uh, with a dash of milk.
Good, 'cause that's the one I pissed in.
I pissed in the coffee.
[LAUGHING.]
No, you haven't.
I pissed in Mrs Thatcher's coffee.
You're lying.
Black man's piss.
[SHOUTING.]
Hold, hold! Ciao, darling, you were fun.
Ho But But I Fast as we can.
You lot are late.
Hurry up.
God, they will not stop yapping.
We made it.
Here we are.
Make way.
Ready to bang the drum.
If the police register me as a homosexual, I shall be very proud.
[CHRISTINE.]
Hello darling! [MAN.]
Let's go.
Oi! Oi! Never mind you, here's the star attraction.
Come on, Eileen.
I won't be happy 'til Parliament's in flames.
Come here, my love.
- When did you get in? - I'm staying with Lorraine.
And here he is, it's the Sheikh of Araby.
I brought sandwiches just in case.
- If you've finished chatting.
- [ASH.]
You made it.
For God's sake, our greatest danger now is a parking ticket.
Can we start? [SHOUTING.]
Yes, about fucking time.
Come on, you filthy motherfuckers.
[NORMAL.]
Pardon my French, Mr and Mrs B.
Sorry, Eileen, but you've heard it all before.
[KISSES.]
Well, don't just stare, are we doing this or what? Where did you come from? [LAUGHS.]
Oh, the pits of hell.
[SHOUTING.]
Now let's march.
- [ALL.]
Yeah! - [LAUGHS.]
[SHOUTING.]
Oi! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! - [MAN.]
Get out the road.
- [CAR HORNS HONKING.]
What are you doing? What the hell are you doing? Get out the way.
[HONKING CONTINUES.]
Oh, you're kidding me.
What are you doing? What the hell are you doing? [KARL ON MEGAPHONE.]
These bodies represent the dead.
Inside this building The Blazen Hensher pharmaceutical company - is profiting from HIV.
- What are they doing? - [LAUGHS.]
- [HORNS HONKING.]
They have drugs which they withhold, and they have drugs which they double in price, because they see AIDS as a chance to profit.
We are dying and they profit.
- For every corpse on this street - [SHOUTING.]
Oi! there are thousands more.
Get out the road! Get out of the road, you fucking idiots! [HORN HONKS.]
- We did it.
- [SHOUTING.]
Well, back up then! [LAUGHING.]
We really did.
[MAN SHOUTING.]
I can't fucking move! This is weird.
[LAUGHS.]
The street looks funny from this angle.
[MAN.]
Don't beef with me, I'll come there and give you a slap.
Can I have my job back? You walked out on me, you miserable little git.
Fuck off.
Please can I have my job back? No.
- Please can I have my job back? - No.
Please can I have my job back? [KARL.]
We want everyone to see what Blazen Hensher have done.
We represent the dead Oh, I've missed you so much.
[MAN.]
Don't beef with me, or someone's gonna give you a slap.
[POLICE SIRENS WAILING.]
[KARL.]
We will not be moved! Call the police, we'd love it.
[HORN HONKS.]
Do what you want.
We will not be moved.
This is a peaceful protest.
If you wanna arrest anyone, arrest the people in there.
[CROWD.]
Yeah.
- They are guilty! - [POLICEMAN.]
Move! Don't touch 'em, mate.
You don't wanna touch 'em.
[POLICEMAN.]
Get up.
[PAUL.]
Leave those people alone! - Oi! - Oi! Leave them alone.
You should be listening to 'em.
You benders! Filth, you dirty filth! Shame on you, shame on you! Run 'em over.
Run 'em over.
Go on.
[JILL SHOUTING.]
Act dead.
Don't resist.
Just go limp 'cause the heavier you are, the harder it is for them.
- [MAN 3.]
Just leave them! - No, Roscoe, don't! Take 'em away, the bastards.
Lock 'em up.
Fairies and dykes, go on, get rid of all of 'em, go on.
Go on, let 'em have it, go on! - Leave them alone! - Bender.
- Leave them alone.
- You bender.
[SHOUTING.]
Oi, I said leave them alone! [WOMAN.]
Go on, queers, get out! - I'll run you over, darling.
- [POLICEMAN.]
Get up.
- You won't be laughing then! - Leave them alone.
Who's gonna miss you, you queer? - [SCREAMING.]
No, no.
- [POLICEMAN.]
Come on.
Go on, stop.
Get up.
- Leave them alone.
- [SCREAMS.]
No, get off her! You can't do that.
- [SCREAMS.]
- [POLICEMAN GRUNTING.]
That's my daughter.
Get off.
Jill! - [MAN.]
Leave her alone! - [SCREAMS.]
[POLICEMAN.]
Get off.
[RITCHIE.]
Hey! Oi, leave her alone! [POLICEMAN.]
Get off.
Yeah, go on.
Go on, mate! [SHOUTING.]
Get fucking off me.
Whoo! Get off, get off.
[WOMAN.]
Come on.
Get it.
[GASPS.]
Oh, my God, what did they do to you? - It's all right.
I'm okay.
- Ritchie, I can't believe you came.
- Just keep back.
- I can't believe it though.
- Yeah, but don't.
- No, come here.
You can't touch me 'cause I'm bleeding.
[ENGINE STARTS.]
Do you mean? [BANGING ON CAR.]
It's funny 'cause I wanted to see you all to tell you.
I thought, "How am I gonna get them all in the one place?" And here you are.
[INHALES.]
All my mates.
Who are you? Leanne.
- [WHISPERING.]
Hi, Leanne.
- Hi.
But I wanted to tell you, and Leanne.
I've been wanting to tell you for a really long time, and I know I fucked things up 'cause I didn't know how to say it, but it's actually really, really simple, because I've got some news for you.
I've got news for you all.
I wanted you to be the first to know.
I'm gonna live.
Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth? Ooh, heaven is a place on earth They say in heaven, love comes first We'll make heaven a place on earth Ooh, heaven is a place on earth
There is now a danger - It's on! Ritchie! that has become a threat to us all.
It is a deadly disease and there is no known cure.
- Is that the BBC? - The virus can be passed during sexual intercourse with an infected person.
Anyone can get it, man or woman.
So far it's been confined to small groups, but it's spreading so protect yourself My mother's watching this.
and read this leaflet when it arrives.
If you ignore AIDS, it could be the death of you, so don't die of ignorance.
- All right.
- All right.
All right then.
- [MUSIC STARTS.]
- Oh, I love him.
- and you know it, clap your hands - [CROWD CLAPS.]
Sweet dreams are made of this Who am I to disagree? I travel the world and the seven seas Everybody's looking for something Some of them want to use you Some of them want to get used by you Some of them want to abuse you gavest, Lord, is ended The darkness falls at thy behest [VICAR.]
And we will always remember Peter as a man of great enthusiasm, his love of languages, he loved travelling, he loved good food, and let's not forget he had a lifelong passion for cars.
He spent years restoring that old MG and when it was done, he sold it.
He said, "I'm ready for the next project," and that was him, always looking ahead.
And that's a fine way to remember him: as a wonderful son, a fine brother to Ruth and a loving uncle to Steven and Grace.
- Now, if you'd like to - And boyfriend to Nicholas.
- What? - [VICAR.]
I'm sorry, but, ah, if we could just continue, thank you.
He was boyfriend to Nick Jacobs for six years.
You can't leave him out like he doesn't exist.
I'm really very sorry, but it's not the time or the place.
Oh, yes, it is.
Nick isn't even here because you banned him.
He loved your son, Mrs Burrows, - all the way to the end.
- For God's sake.
- What's wrong with that? - Shame on you.
Shame on you! Can't you leave us alone for one day of our lives.
- We knew him.
- [VICAR.]
Stop or I'll ask you to leave.
- We knew who he really was.
- This is my mother sitting here - You all know what it was.
- You are all dirty people! I love it.
[RITCHIE.]
I think it's their son's funeral, for God's sake.
- Of all the days to have a go at them.
- Don't be so pathetic, Ritchie.
No, his mother's devastated, be fair.
Do you know what she did, his mother, his lovely mum? She chucked him out onto the street, changed the locks, put his stuff in bin bags and threw it away.
They took the dog, Ritchie.
They took the fucking dog.
And there's just nothing we can do.
Nick's got no legal standing whatsoever.
He's not a widow, he's not an ex.
He's just nothing.
- [JILL.]
Look out.
- [UNCLE BILL.]
You bastard.
Don't start a fight.
I'm the one doing everything wrong, am I? We're going.
Come on.
See you, boys.
Mmm.
- When's Curtis? - Thirty-first.
He's being buried in Camberley.
It's a two-hour drive, so I'll do maps.
And see you the 25th? Don't miss it.
We need numbers.
- I can't.
- Come on.
We need everyone.
You know why I can't do that in public, I just can't.
Why? What do you do? I'm an actor.
That's impressive.
You you, you bastards! - You bastards! - Thanks.
- [PAUL.]
Karl, come on, no.
All right.
- [KARL.]
Whoa, whoa.
[KARL.]
Stop it now.
[CHRISTINE.]
Here they come.
- The kettle's on! - I thought you'd gone home.
- You promised me.
- We delayed one more day.
She's been cooking.
You've all been through such a terrible time, I wanted to do something.
I tried to make goulash.
It's turned into more of a curry.
Bathroom's mine.
- How was it? - Awful.
Absolutely awful.
- Aw.
- Thanks, Mum.
Don't go home.
Stay for 16 weeks if you want.
You shouldn't be going to funerals at your age.
Here's my girl.
- Oh, God, me too.
Look out.
- [ALL LAUGH.]
If we had heterosexual boys dying in these numbers, the world would have stopped.
There'd be uproar.
There'd be riots.
That's what we're doing on the 25th.
Direct action.
Like they did in America, out on the streets.
Don't get yourself in trouble.
Princess Di gave a handshake.
Can't you just do something like that? Do you know the worst thing about it, the absolute worst, it's that every single conversation has to go on and on about AIDS.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Don't be so rude.
It's all we ever hear.
I came to London when I was 18, and I thought, "Great, I can be gay.
" - But then I just end up as this problem.
- That's my fault.
That's me.
I'm just saying, one night off.
Well, we have got news.
I didn't wanna say, 'cause you're only gonna worry, but we think we can buy this place, get a mortgage on the Pink Palace, - me and Ritchie.
- [CHRISTINE.]
Can you afford it? You see? I said you'd worry.
We asked Mr Santini, and he said he'd sell for 42,000.
£42,000? For a flat? It's not bad for London, but my show's gonna keep running.
We've got bookings up to summer '89, so that's a guaranteed income.
And I'm earning enough, just about.
It's not constant work, but I make about 7,000 a year.
Can you get a mortgage though? Are you allowed one, as a gay man? Are you a homosexual? - No.
- No.
You ever had an HIV test? - No.
- No.
Have you ever shared a bed with another man? No.
They never asked, so that's all done, and we'll get rent off these annoying lodgers.
We'll draw up proper contracts and all that stuff.
- We'll be ruthless.
- Hmm, my cruel landlord.
I like it.
Au revoir.
Here she is, Queen of the Nile.
Mm, enjoy your feast.
I shall not return until the morn.
Don't forget the kitty.
We need to stock up tomorrow.
Ooh, my great delight, madame.
Please, avail yourself of my felicitudes.
Is that a word? It is now.
Bloody hell.
You sure you got enough? Whatever you're doing, give us a job.
- I don't think you'd like it, Dad.
- Uh, hey, I work hard for this.
You get hard for it.
Ugh, peasant scum.
Farewell.
[ALL LAUGH.]
So what does he do? Question is, who does he do? [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING.]
Could I have a vodka? [ARTHUR.]
So I said, "If boroughs already have the capacity to opt out, what's the problem?" [TIMOTHY.]
You cannot assume any wisdom on the part of these people, Arthur.
And that's the point.
Let him finish.
The point is with a system as ramshackle as the ILEA, no one knows what's what.
The word is an alliance.
I've been told an alliance between Tebbit and Heseltine, a pact made in hell.
Good God above, there is shaking in the heavens.
How in earth do they find any common ground? Dark magic is abroad.
That's all I can say, dark magic.
So it's doomed.
The ILEA is doomed.
Every London borough now becomes its own authority, and that means an influx of cash waiting to be scooped up.
So you stay on top, Tim, and you could be quids in.
[TIMOTHY.]
Oh, cheers.
- Chin-chin.
- Good health.
I think we've seen that suit five or six times now.
Get something new, hmm? You're gonna need something rather special for the 25th.
I'm busy that day.
- Can I ask, don't be? - Why? What's happening? - I'm not allowed to say.
- Don't tell me then.
No, I'm I'm not allowed to say, as a matter of national security.
Just keep the day free, hmm? But, more importantly, I thought you could be Nanny tonight.
Can't I be Mellors? I think Nanny's cross with me.
Okay.
Naughty boy.
I'm serious about the 25th.
Parents can come.
We need as many people as we can get.
Okay.
Sleep well.
Love you.
- Bye.
- Bye.
[ALAN.]
Bye.
Goodnight, Duchess.
I'll tidy up.
[RITCHIE.]
I just need to know if you're HIV And that's if, okay? If.
Is there anything you can take to stop HIV becoming AIDS? [MAN.]
And have you been tested for HIV? No, but that's not the point.
What about AZT? Can I buy that? No, I'm sorry, it's not for sale.
And it's not a cure.
But I'm trying everything.
They said eggs help the immune system.
They say flaxseed, that's supposed to be good for you, and lecithin granules in melted butter, they say it fights HIV.
[MAN.]
You should be tested.
And piss.
Everyone says drinking your own piss makes you stronger.
Someone said there's this man, he had HIV and he was cured, he stopped AIDS by taking battery acid.
Is that true? [MAN.]
Please don't try that.
Please don't try anything dangerous.
It's acid.
It could hurt you.
It could kill you.
[RETCHES.]
[MAN.]
You need to get yourself tested.
Please listen to me.
Please get a test.
Are you there? The problem is the 25th.
The committee's hosting an exhibition reaching out worldwide, so we've got displays from France and New Zealand and Portugal, but one thing we're really short of is coloured faces.
- Well, here I am, massa.
- Stop it.
We'd just, you know, have more balance if you were there and there is something of a bonus.
I'm told that the exhibition will be visited by the Lady.
No way.
Timetable says that Maggie's due to arrive at 11:00 a.
m.
on the dot.
And I've just gotta be black? You won't actually be meeting her, Roscoe.
You're just there to be visible, but this could do us both a bit of good.
I don't think Mrs Thatcher's particularly aware of me, but given a slight nudge, all those contacts in France could pay off.
Visit to Paris would be nice.
Would you like that? - Just the two of us? - Yeah.
- No one would know you over there.
- Good.
We could walk down the street.
I'd like that.
Yeah.
Merci.
Mm-hmm.
And if you sign there.
And you sign there.
I think we're done.
That's it.
Congratulations.
[ALL SCREAMING.]
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING.]
Careful, that's mine.
Oh, and watch your jeans on the wall.
Denim leaves a mark.
This is my property now.
So they said it could be six month's work 'cause this teacher's having a hip replacement, and I'm thinking, "Great, proper job," and it's got 2,000 pupils and it is rough as hell, but that's okay.
Except I walk in, I report to the office and I get shown around by Mr Crane.
- And these are the pigeon holes.
- [BELL RINGS.]
The head likes a memo, [ASH IMITATING MR CRANE.]
so check them every day but not too often.
We know what you're like, you lot.
Fiddling with your holes.
[GASPS.]
He did not.
But how do they know? All I did was walk in, said, "Hello.
" Best behaviour, but they just know, read us, they can smell it.
- Walked on with - [LAUGHING.]
And that's just the beginning 'cause then he takes me into the library.
And he said, "I thought perfect job for you.
Make a start in here removing inappropriate material.
Like what? [IMITATING MR CRANE.]
"Clause 28.
We have to remove any books or material that might be promoting a homosexual lifestyle.
" [JILL.]
Bloody hell.
- You see, they're burning books.
- Yes.
- So what did you do? - No choice.
I could get sacked for saying one gay thing out loud in school, so I did as I was told.
How's it going? [SARCASTIC.]
Great, fine, good.
And what did you find? Nothing.
"What do you mean, nothing?" I mean, nothing.
I found nothing.
I checked Shakespeare, nothing.
You might get versions on the stage that get a bit fruity with men in togas, but you need to ban the director, not the book, 'cause in the whole of Shakespeare, there's not one man with a man, not one woman with a woman.
Dickens.
Nothing.
He wrote about the rich and the poor and dwarves and saints and orphans and ghosts, not one homosexual, not anywhere.
Jane Austen did not write about lesbians.
- Sorry, Sal.
- [ALL LAUGHING.]
I checked the history books.
So what if Julius Caesar and Aristotle and Alexander The Great had the odd little fling with a catamite not according to the school books, they didn't.
I looked at Asterix and Tintin.
I looked at Disney and sport and the Bible.
I looked at the Talmud and the Quran and the Guinness Book of Records.
I looked at all the vast halls of literature and culture and science and art, and there is not the slightest danger of any child ever being infected, 'cause there's not one gay man or woman anywhere.
There is nothing.
There is nothing.
That's what you're protecting them from.
- Nothing.
- [WHOOPING.]
But what did you really say? There's a couple of Mary Renault's.
- That is just appalling.
- That's Margaret Thatcher.
That's her law.
You voted for her.
- I'm just gonna say - Oh, here he goes.
No, but if you're gonna write a book about two gay fathers for five year olds, - I think that's wrong.
- Have you read it? - You are terrible.
- It's wrong, it's wrong, it's wrong.
[SIGHS.]
[SIGHS.]
You old Tory.
[LAUGHS.]
[LAUGHING.]
Hey, that's me.
[SIGHS.]
Hmm.
Nice party.
It was great.
Haven't done this in a while.
[LAUGHS, SIGHS.]
[SIGHS.]
No? Ah I'm tired.
Do you Do you wanna try? I'm okay.
[WHISPERING.]
Okay.
Can I stay? I'm really knackered.
Okay.
I can wait.
What does that mean? You're not waiting for me, are you? Don't know.
Might do.
Goodnight.
[WOMAN.]
Floor two.
[SHOUTING.]
All right.
Surround the air lock.
All weapons primed, settings to maximum.
[WOMAN.]
Floor one.
[SHOUTING.]
They're breaking through, sir.
Ten seconds and counting.
Remember, if they get through, we lose the crystal and if we lose that, it's the end of the world.
[WOMAN.]
Floor zero.
[DALEK.]
Exterminate, exterminate.
[SHOUTING.]
Open fire.
[CHANTING.]
Exterminate, exterminate.
What's that? Okay.
We can cut there.
Thanks, everyone.
Nicely done, but we're gonna go again.
Let's reset.
Ritchie, it'll take a while, so we're just gonna pick up a close-up on you.
- Is that okay? - Yeah, sure, which bit? Uh, lose the crystal, lose the world, just stay there and thank you.
Okay, just stay on that spot.
We need to make you look gorgeous.
That's a lot of work.
[LAUGHS.]
[MAN.]
One second off.
- Ray! - [RAY.]
Yeah? We need to open up 15.
[RAY.]
Will do! [MAN.]
Great.
Thank you.
Something wrong with your skin.
[DOCTOR.]
Martin Pascoe, please.
I've had a look and the result seems to be definite.
I'm sorry to say you've passed the threshold into a diagnosis of AIDS.
Do you know what that means? Yes, I do.
Okay, we've got quite a few ways of approaching this, and we're getting new information all the time.
- I think we can start - That's all right.
I live in a house full of experts.
It's all we talk about all day long.
- There's a programme which can - I know, I know.
[INHALES.]
I know, okay, I really do know.
You're not telling me anything I don't know already.
Okay.
Perhaps I can ask what is it that you know? It's a death sentence.
I don't think you should be on your own at time like this.
Have you got anyone? [FADING OUT.]
At home? Friends or family? [SEAGULLS CHIRPING.]
Hello? [DOOR OPENS.]
What are you doing here? Bit early to get home from work.
Are you skiving? It's gonna be all about you now.
"Ritchie's home.
Here we go.
" Great.
Well good God.
Hello.
Oh.
Don't be so ridiculous.
That is a surprise.
What are you doing home? Hello.
- What's wrong? - Nothing.
Something smells nice.
Come on.
What's happened? What's wrong? Nothing.
I said.
There's a few people from school going out this weekend, so I said I'd come too, and I thought I'd cook the tea, which is nice of me.
I saw those steaks and I chopped them up.
Is that okay? Well, there's a difference between steak and casserole steak, but never mind.
We'll have a very expensive stew.
[LAUGHS.]
It's nice to see you.
- And there's nothing wrong? - No.
Hmm.
Bloody hell.
Jesus Christ, what's this? Could've warned me.
The hell are you doing home? Oh, Mum phoned you and told you at work, so don't pretend.
What is it then? What's wrong? How much is it gonna cost me? Oh, Gary Blades at work, his daughter said she saw you in that Sunshine play.
- Said you were very good.
- Oh, that's nice.
She also said you were onstage for about ten minutes.
Do the people with bigger parts get paid more? - Yeah.
- There you are.
Get bigger parts.
And hurry up, I'm starving.
Ready.
[CLIVE.]
Hold on a tick, let me finish this.
[VALERIE.]
You can do this more often.
Lucy, come on.
Your brother wants to poison you.
There's no escape! - What, are you not eating? - No, I'm going out.
I thought we were having a meal.
There's some of us meeting up for a drink.
I've got to go.
Sorry.
Sit down, have dinner with your mum, for God's sake.
No, I'm going down the Farmer's Arms.
I said so.
No, you can stop, sit down and have tea with us.
Your silly little friends can wait.
Stop racing off and give us 20 minutes for your mother's sake, okay? Yeah, well, you can fuck off.
What did you just say? - Oh, that's very clever.
- Hey, come back here.
- What have you done now? - Come and say that to my face.
I won't have that in this house! - [MUSIC PLAYING.]
- [CHATTERING.]
- [BARTENDER.]
What can I get you? - Pint of Burt's, thank you.
Hey, nice to see you, Ritchie.
Martin.
Still here then.
How's things? Oh, yeah, you know, not bad.
And you? - Good to see you.
- And you.
Sorry, bit busy.
[SONG PLAYS.]
- Did you hear about Donna Marie? - Oh, God, I did, yeah.
- Drugs.
- I know.
It's always the quiet girls like that.
They sit there in school doing their homework and behaving and not having a drink or anything and looking at the rest of us like we're maniacs, then they leave home and they haven't got a clue.
One drink and bang, they're off their heads.
It happens every time.
I always thought she was nice.
Oh, w well, she is, she was.
I don't know, I haven't seen her for years.
- You're an actor, they said.
- Yeah.
What sort of thing? Oh, things.
I was on TV.
I I did an episode of One By One.
Nah, don't know it.
Keep going though, you know.
Don't give up.
- [BARTENDER.]
Night, Martin.
- Night.
- [MARTIN.]
Nowhere to go? - Are you driving home? Yeah.
We're still in that same house, up by the bridge.
- Can I have a lift? - Yeah, suppose.
That's great.
Thank you.
Oh, do you remember? Every single party we'd end up going down the beach, all of us, every weekend.
We should do it now, for old time's sake, let's get some beer - and go to the beach.
- No, I'm driving.
Oh, don't be so boring.
You can have one, just one beer.
Stop at that offy on Brookdale that's open late.
I'll pay.
Just this once.
I never come home.
Go on, Martin, please.
The thing I don't get is, how do you become an actor? Like, do you have to learn plays, like, off by heart? Do you have to learn Hamlet? Well, only if you're in Hamlet.
So if someone playing Hamlet dropped dead tomorrow, could you then walk onto the stage and be him? No, I haven't learned it already.
Well, so how do you know? What to learn? It's not like that.
You go to college to learn everything, 'cause they teach you rhythm and speech and sword-fighting.
We did fencing.
Oh, that's good.
They teach you that for stunts.
- Could you be a stuntman? - I could.
Yeah.
- That's a great job.
- [LAUGHS.]
And you learn movement, and how to carry yourself, you do dance.
[LAUGHS.]
What, like ballet? - We did a bit of ballet, yeah.
- [LAUGHS.]
What? - You You did ballet in the tights? - No.
Are you a ballet dancer? [LAUGHS.]
We just did the basics and anyway, I was good.
I can plié.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, Jesus.
You can talk, you did that school play in a pair of shorts.
No, I was being a rugby player, with no lines.
Only did that 'cause we got lessons off.
It wasn't ballet.
You looked good.
You looked amazing.
I kept thinking you looked sexy.
[CHUCKLES.]
It's funny, I look back and I really fancied you.
- Is that okay? - Yeah.
'Cause, you know I live in London now and I'm gay.
Is that all right? It's not really a surprise.
[LAUGHS.]
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, my God.
- I mean, look at you.
- [LAUGHS.]
Did you always know? Dunno.
Did you know in school? Well, I never gave it much thought.
I mean, it it doesn't bother me.
Just don't give me AIDS, that's all.
[CHUCKLES.]
[LAUGHING.]
Of course.
But I fancied you so much, Martin.
And I fancied Carl Bowman and Ratty and that boy Simon Reynolds in the year above, but you were the best.
I used to watch you all the time.
I used to think about you night and day, all those years in school, going home every day and running upstairs and wanking about you.
- Okay, that's enough.
- Literally thousands of wanks.
Really, that's enough.
Julie Renwick said she once went home with you in the lunch-time and you had sex with her up against the fridge, and I thought about that a million times.
I still do.
I still think about it now.
- I still cum thinking about it.
- You fucking stop, all right? [MARTIN SNIFFS.]
I'll drive you home.
I loved you.
I thought tonight, say hello, get you drunk, bring you down the beach.
And suck you off.
I'm not gay.
You could just lie back and close your eyes.
I mean, don't you wanna cum? Everybody wants to cum.
Who doesn't wanna cum? If you could cum right now, wouldn't you? What the hell is wrong with you? Nothing.
This is really off, you know that? Yeah.
You, you didn't come all the way back to the island just for this, did you? No.
Well, do you know what, maybe I did.
[SIGHS.]
Oh, God.
Are you all right? Let's go home.
You can drop me off here, thanks.
Don't go up to the house.
You'll wake them up.
They're in bed by ten.
Every single night.
Bed by ten.
That was weird.
[WHISPERING.]
Sorry.
You wanna be careful, Ritchie.
Saying all that stuff.
Anyone else would punch your face in.
I'd punch them back.
- [LAUGHS.]
And you would.
- [LAUGHS.]
Anyway, go home.
- I'll see you around.
- Nah.
Bet you won't.
You're gonna be gone.
Any day now you're gonna be too posh for us lot and you won't come home anymore.
You'll be off be in Hollywood be James Bond or Top Gun or Zorro.
[LAUGHS.]
Do you think? Yeah, you'll be famous.
Do you know, I would love that.
There's nothing I would love more.
[WHISPERING.]
But it's never gonna happen.
I'm never gonna do those things.
I could have done anything.
[SOBBING.]
But I never will now.
I never will.
You might.
[SOBBING.]
I'll never be anything.
Ever.
[CRIES.]
Oh, God.
[SOBBING.]
Sorry.
[SNIFFS, CHUCKLES.]
What is it? What's wrong? [SIGHS.]
It really was nice to see you.
Look after yourself.
Yeah.
[WHISPERING.]
Bye.
I'm just gonna say it would mean the world to me if you came.
Sorry, I've got a date.
[SIGHS.]
His Master's Voice.
You ever gonna tell us who he is? No sign of Ritchie boy? [JILL.]
Vanished.
But he was never gonna come.
Never mind.
Colin would have loved that suit.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
It's for him, all of this today.
Yeah.
Well, I lived with Colin in this room.
I lived with him and I loved him, and I watched him get up and go to work and phone his mum and behave.
All his life, all he ever did was behave, and what happens? He died.
So I'm getting out of here, Jill.
You can wave your flags all you like, but I'm moving up.
[PAUL.]
Sure about this, beanpole? It's not gonna look good for a teacher if we get arrested.
I'll risk it.
Teaching stinks these days anyway.
- You really think we'll get arrested? - I hope so.
That's the plan.
Pretty little Ritchie couldn't make it then.
Be fair.
If he's seen as gay in public, he might never work again.
[PAUL.]
All aboard, come on.
[JILL.]
How many of us in total? Uh, they're coming from Reading and Salisbury.
[SIGHS.]
We might make 50.
That's not bad.
There's 600,000 gay people in this city.
Where the fuck are they? Roscoe Babatunde.
Thanks.
You can go through.
[SIGHS.]
Roscoe.
- Excuse me, sir.
- He's with me.
They put me on Jamaica, but my dad's from Nigeria.
- It's the other side of the world.
- She's early.
The Lady's early! - Oh, uh, I need that.
- What for? Uh, this tie's a bit of a giveaway.
The Lady doesn't really go for Wykehamists.
She's a grammar school girl.
You know? Isn't Denis public school? Well, non-conformist.
Would she believe me, wearing this? We have African princes, you know.
[SIGHS.]
No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Too soon.
She arrives.
She has introductions.
Then the tea comes out.
Otherwise it looks as if it's been stewing.
Wait there.
You don't stand around like a skivvy.
I swear, I have to do absolutely everything myself.
Oh, my God.
Ugh, um.
Get in, in, in.
Out, thank you very much, don't stand there dawdling.
Go back to the hall.
I'll give you a nod.
So, uh, how do I look? Good.
Let me see.
[SIGHS.]
Perfect gentleman.
Oh, the last button of a waistcoat should always be left undone.
My friend Colin taught me that.
Mm.
Oh, my God.
Have you got a hard-on? I am standing to attention.
You dirty dog.
Well, I can't help it.
She does make things rather exciting.
- That's for her? - The lady.
You're hard for her? It's quite a thrill.
She gives you a hard-on? Roscoe, you're young.
You don't understand the world yet.
I understand that you're gay.
Good God, I'm not gay.
Then what are you with me? Well, every so often one has to shove one's face in the shit just so you can lift your head up and smell the sweet roses afterwards.
Hold on.
Ah! Oh, where is she [SIGHS.]
They've waited long enough, we don't want it to get cold.
Go on.
- [ROSCOE.]
Oh, sorry.
- Excuse me.
All right.
Oh, well, you should get into position.
Fast as you can.
What happens here? Well, I wait here, I get the nod, I escort the lady to discover all the wonderful things we've been doing with telecommunications in Norway.
There, look.
It's exciting.
Yes.
Big day.
Extraordinary.
All down to you.
Isn't it just? So, tell me, Mrs Thatcher, does she drink tea or coffee? Coffee, uh, with a dash of milk.
Good, 'cause that's the one I pissed in.
I pissed in the coffee.
[LAUGHING.]
No, you haven't.
I pissed in Mrs Thatcher's coffee.
You're lying.
Black man's piss.
[SHOUTING.]
Hold, hold! Ciao, darling, you were fun.
Ho But But I Fast as we can.
You lot are late.
Hurry up.
God, they will not stop yapping.
We made it.
Here we are.
Make way.
Ready to bang the drum.
If the police register me as a homosexual, I shall be very proud.
[CHRISTINE.]
Hello darling! [MAN.]
Let's go.
Oi! Oi! Never mind you, here's the star attraction.
Come on, Eileen.
I won't be happy 'til Parliament's in flames.
Come here, my love.
- When did you get in? - I'm staying with Lorraine.
And here he is, it's the Sheikh of Araby.
I brought sandwiches just in case.
- If you've finished chatting.
- [ASH.]
You made it.
For God's sake, our greatest danger now is a parking ticket.
Can we start? [SHOUTING.]
Yes, about fucking time.
Come on, you filthy motherfuckers.
[NORMAL.]
Pardon my French, Mr and Mrs B.
Sorry, Eileen, but you've heard it all before.
[KISSES.]
Well, don't just stare, are we doing this or what? Where did you come from? [LAUGHS.]
Oh, the pits of hell.
[SHOUTING.]
Now let's march.
- [ALL.]
Yeah! - [LAUGHS.]
[SHOUTING.]
Oi! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! - [MAN.]
Get out the road.
- [CAR HORNS HONKING.]
What are you doing? What the hell are you doing? Get out the way.
[HONKING CONTINUES.]
Oh, you're kidding me.
What are you doing? What the hell are you doing? [KARL ON MEGAPHONE.]
These bodies represent the dead.
Inside this building The Blazen Hensher pharmaceutical company - is profiting from HIV.
- What are they doing? - [LAUGHS.]
- [HORNS HONKING.]
They have drugs which they withhold, and they have drugs which they double in price, because they see AIDS as a chance to profit.
We are dying and they profit.
- For every corpse on this street - [SHOUTING.]
Oi! there are thousands more.
Get out the road! Get out of the road, you fucking idiots! [HORN HONKS.]
- We did it.
- [SHOUTING.]
Well, back up then! [LAUGHING.]
We really did.
[MAN SHOUTING.]
I can't fucking move! This is weird.
[LAUGHS.]
The street looks funny from this angle.
[MAN.]
Don't beef with me, I'll come there and give you a slap.
Can I have my job back? You walked out on me, you miserable little git.
Fuck off.
Please can I have my job back? No.
- Please can I have my job back? - No.
Please can I have my job back? [KARL.]
We want everyone to see what Blazen Hensher have done.
We represent the dead Oh, I've missed you so much.
[MAN.]
Don't beef with me, or someone's gonna give you a slap.
[POLICE SIRENS WAILING.]
[KARL.]
We will not be moved! Call the police, we'd love it.
[HORN HONKS.]
Do what you want.
We will not be moved.
This is a peaceful protest.
If you wanna arrest anyone, arrest the people in there.
[CROWD.]
Yeah.
- They are guilty! - [POLICEMAN.]
Move! Don't touch 'em, mate.
You don't wanna touch 'em.
[POLICEMAN.]
Get up.
[PAUL.]
Leave those people alone! - Oi! - Oi! Leave them alone.
You should be listening to 'em.
You benders! Filth, you dirty filth! Shame on you, shame on you! Run 'em over.
Run 'em over.
Go on.
[JILL SHOUTING.]
Act dead.
Don't resist.
Just go limp 'cause the heavier you are, the harder it is for them.
- [MAN 3.]
Just leave them! - No, Roscoe, don't! Take 'em away, the bastards.
Lock 'em up.
Fairies and dykes, go on, get rid of all of 'em, go on.
Go on, let 'em have it, go on! - Leave them alone! - Bender.
- Leave them alone.
- You bender.
[SHOUTING.]
Oi, I said leave them alone! [WOMAN.]
Go on, queers, get out! - I'll run you over, darling.
- [POLICEMAN.]
Get up.
- You won't be laughing then! - Leave them alone.
Who's gonna miss you, you queer? - [SCREAMING.]
No, no.
- [POLICEMAN.]
Come on.
Go on, stop.
Get up.
- Leave them alone.
- [SCREAMS.]
No, get off her! You can't do that.
- [SCREAMS.]
- [POLICEMAN GRUNTING.]
That's my daughter.
Get off.
Jill! - [MAN.]
Leave her alone! - [SCREAMS.]
[POLICEMAN.]
Get off.
[RITCHIE.]
Hey! Oi, leave her alone! [POLICEMAN.]
Get off.
Yeah, go on.
Go on, mate! [SHOUTING.]
Get fucking off me.
Whoo! Get off, get off.
[WOMAN.]
Come on.
Get it.
[GASPS.]
Oh, my God, what did they do to you? - It's all right.
I'm okay.
- Ritchie, I can't believe you came.
- Just keep back.
- I can't believe it though.
- Yeah, but don't.
- No, come here.
You can't touch me 'cause I'm bleeding.
[ENGINE STARTS.]
Do you mean? [BANGING ON CAR.]
It's funny 'cause I wanted to see you all to tell you.
I thought, "How am I gonna get them all in the one place?" And here you are.
[INHALES.]
All my mates.
Who are you? Leanne.
- [WHISPERING.]
Hi, Leanne.
- Hi.
But I wanted to tell you, and Leanne.
I've been wanting to tell you for a really long time, and I know I fucked things up 'cause I didn't know how to say it, but it's actually really, really simple, because I've got some news for you.
I've got news for you all.
I wanted you to be the first to know.
I'm gonna live.
Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth? Ooh, heaven is a place on earth They say in heaven, love comes first We'll make heaven a place on earth Ooh, heaven is a place on earth