Knight Rider (1982) s01e04 Episode Script
Good Day at White Rock
We're hungry.
Real hungry.
Your act's not only lousy, man.
| It's 10 years out of date.
Nobody makes a fool out of me | and gets away with it.
Is that a fact? Michael, they've got Davey! We got him now, man! Knight Rider, a shadowy flight | into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist.
Michael Knight, a young loner on a crusade to champion | the cause of the innocent, the helpless, | the powerless, in a world of criminals | who operate above the law.
Come on, come on! | Hurry it up! I wanna get this stuff | outta here before dawn.
And look.
It's almost 5:00.
All right.
Hold it.
Four million dollars' worth | of prime coke shot to hell, and we haven't even cut it yet! Just think of it as a tax loss.
You can depreciate it over the next | five years while you're in the slammer.
Anyway, it's kind ofhot in here, | don't you think? Let's move outside in the cool air.
Oh, I see him.
Thank you.
Ah, hello, Devon.
Michael! | What a delightful surprise.
- The office told me I'd find you here.
| - How very thoughtful of them.
Well, now that you're here, | perhaps you'd like to order something.
Yeah.
Let me have a double | cheeseburger with some onions, french fries and a Coke.
Oh, if you can't handle that, there's | a takeout joint across the street.
- What's that? | - Escargot.
An exotically flavored dish rendered | comatose by the very thought of your order.
I'm not a fussy eater, | I guess, huh? But snails! Yes, I admit that it is | an acquired taste, Michael.
But, then, so many things are.
Well, what is it you wanted to see me | so urgently about? Well, Devon, | I'm really beat, you know? I don't doubt it.
| Especially having just read the details | of your latest assignment.
KITT and I made that | as simple as possible.
Nobody got hurt, and those drug pushers | are gonna be off the street for a long time.
Anyway, I think I need some time off.
A vacation? | What an absolutely splendid idea! Have you got any idea | of a destination? Well, I was thinking about doing | some rock climbing.
Rock climbing.
The Rockies No, I hear that the Himalayas | present the greatest challenge.
- Shall I call my travel agent for you? | - I wasn't thinking that big.
Oh, I see.
Anyway, I won't | be gone all that long.
Great.
My dear fellow, please don't | push yourself on my account.
I mean, I'd hate you | to burn out too quickly.
Yeah, I'll bet.
- Oshkosh.
| - Uh, Oklahoma.
Wrong.
We're only using place names with | a double vowel and a double consonant.
Oklahoma has two sets of double vowels, | but no double consonant.
If you had said KITT? | Yes? - Shut up.
| - It was your idea to play.
A somewhat frivolous pastime anyway when you | could be briefing me on our mission instead.
We're not on a mission.
| We're on vacation.
- What's a vacation? | - Well, it's kind of like an interlude you know, to relax, | clear your head.
I see.
| But to what purpose? - Like I said, to relax.
| - What does "relax" mean? Um, it's kinda like | when I put you in neutral.
Oh.
How very unproductive.
Well, not for people.
| Now me, I'm going rock climbing.
Why? What happens when you get to | the top of whatever it is you're climbing? Nothing.
Then why climb it? Because it's there.
I see.
Well, I suppose that makes | about as much sense as word games.
- Good.
I'm glad you can understand it.
| - Not really.
After all, word games don't attempt to defy | the laws of gravity like rock climbing, an activity which could easily | get you killed or seriously injured.
I didn't know you cared.
Of course I care.
After all, that's | the way I was programmed, isn't it? Good morning.
The night crawlers | are in the refrigerator.
They're right next | to the, uh, Fudgesicles.
Your mealworms are on the counter.
| Don't worry, Clayton.
You can pay me later.
- Who's Clayton? | - Huh? - And what's a night crawler? | - Uh, a worm.
L- I don't mean Clayton.
Clayton is a a very sweet old man | who comes in here every morning to get his bait from me | about this time.
- A night crawler is a worm.
| - I see.
I guess you're not | a fisherman, are you? No.
I, uh I always thought | it was kind of boring.
Came to climb, but I've been known | to get hooked on new things.
Oh.
Uh, is there something I can do for you? Yeah.
Uh, the sign in the window | said "homemade hamburgers.
" I sure could go for one | with everything on it everything but the night crawlers.
No night crawlers.
| You got it.
Sis! You've got to come out front | and see this car! It's Mine.
You like it? | Like it? Are you kiddin'? If you hang in till I eat, | I'll take you for a ride.
Really? Uh, how would you | like this cooked? Medium.
| Uh, anything else with that? - Yeah.
How about some french fries? Well done.
| - And anything else? - Meaningful conversation? | - Rare.
Your, uh, sister | have a steady boyfriend? In this town? | She's beautiful.
Yeah, I noticed.
| Great body.
Yeah, I noticed that too.
| Ready to go? Sure.
| Let's do it.
Oh, could you stop up here? | I mean, if it's okay with you.
Sure.
How about | if I drop you off, though? I'm anxious to get settled | and check out White Rock Mountain.
Okay, but I just gotta see Donny Spencer's | face when I get out of this car.
He thinks he's so hot 'cause | his brother's got that dumb van.
- Catch ya later.
| - You got it.
Hey! Come on! Hey, hey, come on! That's enough! | Knock it off! Come on! He said your car was dumb.
| That's all right.
It's no big deal.
The only thing worse than leaning | on my van is touching my little brother.
Trying to make sure | nobody gets hurt.
- Is this yours? | - Yeah.
What about it? I don't know.
I mean | I mean, I love it.
I mean, it's so original.
| Yeah? Well, yours is dumb.
| Dumb, huh? Your family seems to have | a somewhat limited vocabulary.
Hey, you talk about my family, you gotta | deal with the top dog! That's me! Oh, I didn't know you were the pick of | the litter.
You're really looking for it.
- Howdy, Lonny.
| - Sheriff.
- Any problem here? | - Nothing I can't handle, Sheriff.
And with pleasure.
Yeah, I suppose so, Lonny.
| You just passin' through town, mister? Kind of.
I came here | to do a little rock climbing.
Oh, one of those macho types, huh? | Well, if you enjoy rock climbing, White Rock is as good as they come, | or so they say.
Hey, don't let us hold you up.
You askin' me | to get out of town? I'm tellin' you that it takes | two to make an argument.
- And if there's only one of you in town | - Suppose I decide to stay? I'm a peace officer, son.
| With the emphasis on the word "peace.
" Now, like I said before, | it takes two to make an argument.
- But if one of you's in jail | - Any bets on who it'll be? - Guess I better go rock climbing, huh? | - That's what I call good thinking.
Whoop! Wait a minute.
I'm gonna have | to see your driver's license first.
What for? Well, I've gotta | finish up this citation.
You made an illegal U-turn back there.
Boy, you sure did let the sheriff | push you around! What do you think I should've done? Shot | it out with him like you see in the movies? Well, no.
But still How old are you, Davey? | Ten.
Well, if you want to make | 11, 12 and 13 like that, you better learn there's times | to fight and times not to fight.
Like when you can only win? No, that's the way bullies | like Big Lonny think.
I mean only when you | don't have any other choice.
Hey, you guys goin' | to some kind of costume party? That's a nice van you got there, pally.
Uh, painted it myself.
Got one of those, | uh, do-it-yourself kits.
- That must've been fun, huh? | - Yeah, kinda.
Nothin' to do around here.
| You must get awful bored.
I still gotta do a little stripping along Say, fellas, what do you say we give | old smart-mouth here a fresh start? So he can kind of keep what's left | of his mind occupied like.
- Ya dig? | - Right on.
Well, I guess I'm ready, KITT.
| See ya later.
Michael, I believe there is a considerable | risk factor involved in this operation.
Vacation.
Vacation.
| Not operation.
Yes, well, don't you think you should | preprogram me in the event you don't return? Thanks for the vote of confidence.
Michael, what shall I do | while you're gone? You're on vacation too, KITT.
| Get some sun.
Get us some beers! I bet the store is closed too.
Oh, I've got some news for you, man.
| It ain't gonna be for long.
Let's do it now! Good morning.
! Hello.
Now, you don't wanna | close up with all these customers.
Look at this, huh? | Aren't you Whoo, aren't you | a pretty little girl! Yes, indeed, huh? Make yourself at home! I knew this town | wasn't as boring as it looks.
What's your name, sweet thing? Davey Benson, | and we're closed.
Shh.
Well, let me explain | something to you, little man.
You see, what we got right here | is a special occasion.
And we're big customers.
You dig? And we're hungry.
Real hungry.
Dog, go away! I said go away, dog! Very well, then.
| You leave me no choice.
And that's known | as man's best friend.
You smell real good.
Knock it off, jerk! Come on, man.
| We don't need that kind of trouble.
Yeah, well, I think I'll just | I'll eat something first, huh? Okay.
| Yeah.
Hey! Hey, it's the man! Hey, everybody.
| Hey, man, just stay cool.
We're just customers, | that's all.
Right? I guess dessert's | gonna have to wait, huh? Welcome to town, fellas.
I see you found the best | hamburgers around, huh? Well, anyway, it's nice | to see you again, Sheriff.
I guess we better be splittin' | on down the road.
Hey, Priest, pay the little lady | so we can get out of here, man.
Wait a minute! Why don't we put it | on our American Express card? Do you recognize me? I think a 20 oughta cover it.
It's not just the money! Davey, | Davey, the man's being quite fair.
- Let's throw in a six-pack on the house.
| - Hey! Hold it, Sheriff Bruckner.
! | I can't afford to You know something, Sheriff? | That's real understanding of you.
And me and the boys | appreciate that.
My pleasure.
Say thank you, boys.
| Thank you.
I'll see you again.
We'll have to come back here | more often.
Man! Well, why in the hell do you think | Sneaker picked this town in the first place? We can only fight | one war at a time, right? Smart thinkin'! Maybe next time we come back, | he'll deputize us all.
How am I gonna carry this on a bike? | Here, carry that for me, man.
Why didn't you arrest them? How could | you just let them get away with that? Arrest them for what? They | didn't do anything, did they? Well, not really, but they You can | count your lucky stars we got off that easy.
What! | Will you listen to me? You don't mess | with those kind of people.
They're living out some kind of a fantasy, | and they're just lookin' for trouble.
Now, they're gonna be gone soon, | and everything is gonna be back to normal.
With no trouble.
All we have to do | is keep our wits about us.
In other words, you just would let them | get away with anything they please? In other words, it takes two | to make an argument.
A confrontation could cost more than | a little petty pilfering or bad manners.
A lot more.
! | You could call in the state police.
And do what? | Arrest them for not shaving? You made it, huh? What are you doing up here, | anyway? Looking for you.
There's trouble in town, and | I didn't know who to come to.
- What about the sheriff? | - Him? You gotta be kidding! There's this big, mean | bunch of bikers down in town.
I think they may do something to Sherry | if someone doesn't do something about it.
All right.
You go down.
| I'll pick you up by the road to town.
- Where are you going? | - To pick up my car.
- What's so important about your car? | - You'd be surprised.
You really would.
Go on, get outta here! | I'll meet you down there.
Are you all right? Michael! | Did Davey go and get you? Yeah.
It's okay.
It's no big deal.
| I got to make the climb okay.
At least somebody had a nice day.
Davey told me about | what happened everything.
Are you all right, really? I'm a lot better now.
Come here.
I think it might be a good idea | if I stay here tonight.
- They're back.
| - How many? Just one, but | it's the real mean one.
Wait.
You're not gonna need that.
Oh, that's a nice car.
Yours? | Yeah.
Say, you wouldn't mind if I drove it | around the block a little, would you? Well, personally, I wouldn't think | cars are your kind of scene.
Oh, don't worry about that.
| I can change.
- It's locked.
| - No.
No, man.
Just sticks sometimes.
Oh, ah, you're a wise guy, huh? Well, I don't know how you did that, but nobody makes a fool out of me | and gets away with it.
- Is that a fact? | - Yeah.
You know, you and your buddies must've watched | too many bad movies on TVwhen you were kids.
- Why is that? | - 'Cause your act's not only lousy, man, it's 10 years out of date.
You can't be for real.
| Oh, I'm for real.
I'm a Scorpion, Hilly.
Davey, run.
| Go get the sheriff, quick.
This is Stinger.
You're about to be the "stingee.
" Before or after the commercial? I think playtime's over, pal.
Michael.
Get in the car.
Get in the car.
Hey, there was a little accident here.
| I was just on my way to get some help.
What happened? | Hey, man, what is going on? Tough guy, huh? - What kind of a car is this? | - Go ahead and tell her, KITT.
Sorry.
Allow me | to introduce myself.
I am KITT, whom you may regard | as the voice of the Knight 2000.
An experimental prototype vehicle, | which among other Impervious to virtually | all forms of violence.
Specifically, the chemical | formula for the alloy is simply Hello, Sheriff.
Am I glad to see you.
Maybe that was the only way out of there, | but aren't you taking this a little too far? You're under arrest, Mr.
Knight, | so just relax.
You've gotta be kidding.
| Not at all.
I told you before | it takes two to make an argument.
I got a lot of problems right now.
| That idiot Lonny had to smart-mouth off to those bikers, | and they trashed his van.
What I don't need | is some hero coming in here trying to grandstand | for some damsel in distress.
You're really serious, | aren't you? You're gonna lock me up and let those | bikers do what they damn well please.
- Up to a point, you're right.
| - What is the point where you start to do something about it? That's my problem | and my responsibility.
Wait a minute.
| I get one phone call.
What's the number? The circuits are busy.
| I'll let you call again later.
How much later? | A whole lot later.
Yeah, that figures! | By the way, where's my car? Impounded.
Those darn bikers.
Somebody oughta | find out what they're doing around town.
You listen to me.
I don't want you | to go anywhere near those bikers.
They're a real mean bunch, okay? Yeah, sis, but with Michael in jail, | somebody's gotta do something.
Hey, I don't care about somebody! | All I care about is you! And I don't wanna hear that | you've been anywhere near them.
You get the message? I mean it, you know.
I want everybody's ride | in ace shape, okay, man? You got it.
| What? What'd you say? You listen up, man! I don't want | any more trouble out of you! - What about the chick? | - Afterwards.
- What are you laughing at, you freak? | - Hey, listen up, everybody.
Them Dogs are gonna be riding | in here tomorrow.
Now, we can only fight | one war at a time.
So I want everybody ready.
| You dig? You dig? Sheriff? What? | I've been thinkin'.
If you deputize me, at least I'll | be available if you need some help.
Son, you just get yourself some rest, and if I need you, | I'll know exactly where to find you.
- I'm goin'out on night patrol.
| - Do me a favor, will you? - What? | - Check on Davey and Sherry.
KITT, where are you? - Impounded, Michael, just like you.
| - Can you get out? Of course.
Do you want me | to come get you out? - No, no.
I can handle that myself.
| - Are you quite sure? Yeah, I'm sure.
| Any more questions? Just one.
| Are we still on vacation? Oh, did it move for you too? Are we, as they say, | getting out of town? No.
We're gonna find the Scorpions | and see what they're up to.
- KITT, wait here.
| - Are you sure? I don't think you could pass | as a motorcycle.
- It would be a problem.
| - Listen, if I don't make it back, go find Davey and Sherry | and take 'em out of White Rock.
You're the driver.
But on the whole, I think | it would be preferable if you did come back.
Thanks.
Knock, knock.
| Who's there? - Salmon chanted.
| - Who? - Salmon chanted.
| - Salmon chanted You got some fire, my man? Come on, man.
| I ain't got all night.
All right.
Thanks, brother.
The Road Dogs are gonna fall, man! I, myself, personally | are gonna take off half their heads! What about you turkeys? | Can you handle the other half, huh? Yeah! | They'll never know what hit 'em.
Biggest biker war on the West Coast.
| We're gonna put this place on the map.
Hey, you know that chick at the store? | I still want a part of her, man.
Hey.
Later, okay? I promise.
All right? Hey, let's party.
Give me a beer.
- KITT, looks like we got ourselves a real problem.
| - Would you care to share it with me? Those bikers are planning | a full-scale gang war tomorrow.
If that's a problem, it would appear | to be a self-solving problem.
Like how? | Like why do we care who wins? Because they're planning on using | the town as the battlefield.
That's why.
Yes, I see.
| It could make a difference at that.
Well, I suppose we'll just | have to do something about it, then.
- Got any ideas? | - I thought I'd let you try first.
It always makes you feel so much better | on those rare occasions when you outthink me.
Oh, that's funny.
| That's-That's very funny.
Look what I found! Her little, bitty baby kid brother! | Well, isn't he cute, huh? Michael, why don't you let me go in alone | and explain to the sheriff what happened? Because it's more believable | if it comes from me.
But suppose he tries to put you | right back in jail? He won't.
| Not after what I tell him.
That's for good luck.
Come on.
Never mind, Bernie.
| The problem just took care of itself.
I'll see if I can arrange | some kind of a reward for you, Sherry, for apprehending the prisoner.
Oh, come on, Sheriff.
He is not a criminal.
| A few hours ago, I might've believed you.
Since then, he has stolen his vehicle | from the impound lot and broken out of jail.
I didn't steal my car.
Oh, I suppose you want me to believe that | it drove itself over here and picked you up.
You don't know it yet, but you got | a serious problem on your hands.
The only problem I've got is you.
Anything | else you might say, save it for the judge.
Now, listen to me.
The Scorpions | are planning a gang war at White Rock.
Some other guys, the Road Dogs, | are on their way here right now.
If you don't believe me, | check it out with the highway patrol.
A gang war? | In White Rock? It's true! And we've | got to do something about it! I'll tell you what we're gonna do.
| We're gonna put this lunatic back in a cell where he belongs.
Why would I break out of jail | and come back here and lie to you? I don't know you, mister, | and White Rock doesn't know you either.
There's not gonna be a White Rock | in 24 hours if you don't listen to me.
Look, he's telling you the truth! - You got a fast choice to make, Sheriff.
| - What's that? Either you go along with me | and help me save the town Or? Or I'm gonna try and save | the town without you.
I knew that guy | was gonna be trouble.
Hey, you guys, wake up.
! | Wake up.
! Hey, Monk, wake up.
| Wake up, Monk.
You sure you want to stay | in the car? Well, Sally Field stayed in the car | in Smokey and the Bandit.
I think I'm safer with you, anyway.
You sure about that? | No.
Morning, boys.
| Rise and shine.
The lady here wants to see | what the animals are like when the zoo's still closed.
So you wanna see | what the animals look like, huh? Hey, if you want the kid, man, | get out of the car and we'll talk.
Oh, no.
Michael, they've got Davey! Hey, come on, punk.
| I'm waitin'for you, man.
! God, Michael.
| What are we gonna do? Come on, man.
! I'm waitin:! | Get out.
! Get out.
! Just watch.
Okay, KITT, buddy, | let's shake 'em up.
Go! Go! How'd they get you, Davey? | It was kinda dumb, I guess.
I was sneakin' around the camp just to see | what they were gonna do, and I got caught.
Oh, Davey, are you all right? | I'm fine.
Hey, this is some kind of car! | It didn't look like this before.
We're playin' for keeps now, Davey.
Well, what are we gonna do? We're gonna play a little chicken | with the Scorpions.
We got him now, man.
| He's on our kind of ground, baby.
Hyperspace! Hey, you're not gonna stop? Not at the moment.
You did it! We did it! | We got 'em on the run! Not yet.
| I'd rather have them chasing me.
Aren't you going | just a little fast? Sally Field trusted Burt Reynolds.
Right.
I sure hope | the sheriff came through.
Don't worry about it.
All you | gotta do is I know.
Just hold on.
We did it! | We finally showed those punks! I think they did it to themselves, | Davey, with maybe a little help from us.
Son, I owe you an apology.
I guess I'm not only a peace officer.
| I'm also a law enforcement officer.
The accent on "enforcement.
" No harm done, Sheriff.
At least not to anybody | who didn't have it coming.
- I'd appreciate it if you'd help me tidy up a bit.
| - You got it.
Happy to oblige.
Thanks a lot.
I think you might've made | a wrong turn back there! You can see what happened | to the last gang that came through here.
- Oh, Devon.
| - Oh, Michael! Back so soon? Well, sit down and regale me with | the lurid details of your vacation.
Well, it wasn't much | of a vacation after all.
Yes, I know.
We received the state | police report only this morning.
You don't seem to be able | to low-profile it anywhere, do you? I'm just lucky, I guess.
There are those who might say that "disaster | prone''would be a better way of putting it.
Do have a little wine.
| Thanks.
Anyway, I think it should count | as a Foundation mission, even though it was | sort of coincidental.
Very well.
I'll put yet another | gold star upon your report card, and I'll okay your expenses | within reason, of course.
Well, I'd rather have some | time off, if you don't mind.
Another vacation? | What a splendid idea! Yes, you do need to revitalize | the tissues, you know.
Go ahead.
And as I said before, | don't hurry back.
Thanks.
I'll see ya.
That's funny.
He didn't even | argue with me this time.
Well? What did he say? He said to take | all the time I wanted.
What a nice man.
Mmm.
Am I safe in assuming that nobody | wants to play Geography at the moment? Yes.
You're right.
| Just keep driving.
But for how long? Till one of us runs out of gas.
Mmm.
Real hungry.
Your act's not only lousy, man.
| It's 10 years out of date.
Nobody makes a fool out of me | and gets away with it.
Is that a fact? Michael, they've got Davey! We got him now, man! Knight Rider, a shadowy flight | into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist.
Michael Knight, a young loner on a crusade to champion | the cause of the innocent, the helpless, | the powerless, in a world of criminals | who operate above the law.
Come on, come on! | Hurry it up! I wanna get this stuff | outta here before dawn.
And look.
It's almost 5:00.
All right.
Hold it.
Four million dollars' worth | of prime coke shot to hell, and we haven't even cut it yet! Just think of it as a tax loss.
You can depreciate it over the next | five years while you're in the slammer.
Anyway, it's kind ofhot in here, | don't you think? Let's move outside in the cool air.
Oh, I see him.
Thank you.
Ah, hello, Devon.
Michael! | What a delightful surprise.
- The office told me I'd find you here.
| - How very thoughtful of them.
Well, now that you're here, | perhaps you'd like to order something.
Yeah.
Let me have a double | cheeseburger with some onions, french fries and a Coke.
Oh, if you can't handle that, there's | a takeout joint across the street.
- What's that? | - Escargot.
An exotically flavored dish rendered | comatose by the very thought of your order.
I'm not a fussy eater, | I guess, huh? But snails! Yes, I admit that it is | an acquired taste, Michael.
But, then, so many things are.
Well, what is it you wanted to see me | so urgently about? Well, Devon, | I'm really beat, you know? I don't doubt it.
| Especially having just read the details | of your latest assignment.
KITT and I made that | as simple as possible.
Nobody got hurt, and those drug pushers | are gonna be off the street for a long time.
Anyway, I think I need some time off.
A vacation? | What an absolutely splendid idea! Have you got any idea | of a destination? Well, I was thinking about doing | some rock climbing.
Rock climbing.
The Rockies No, I hear that the Himalayas | present the greatest challenge.
- Shall I call my travel agent for you? | - I wasn't thinking that big.
Oh, I see.
Anyway, I won't | be gone all that long.
Great.
My dear fellow, please don't | push yourself on my account.
I mean, I'd hate you | to burn out too quickly.
Yeah, I'll bet.
- Oshkosh.
| - Uh, Oklahoma.
Wrong.
We're only using place names with | a double vowel and a double consonant.
Oklahoma has two sets of double vowels, | but no double consonant.
If you had said KITT? | Yes? - Shut up.
| - It was your idea to play.
A somewhat frivolous pastime anyway when you | could be briefing me on our mission instead.
We're not on a mission.
| We're on vacation.
- What's a vacation? | - Well, it's kind of like an interlude you know, to relax, | clear your head.
I see.
| But to what purpose? - Like I said, to relax.
| - What does "relax" mean? Um, it's kinda like | when I put you in neutral.
Oh.
How very unproductive.
Well, not for people.
| Now me, I'm going rock climbing.
Why? What happens when you get to | the top of whatever it is you're climbing? Nothing.
Then why climb it? Because it's there.
I see.
Well, I suppose that makes | about as much sense as word games.
- Good.
I'm glad you can understand it.
| - Not really.
After all, word games don't attempt to defy | the laws of gravity like rock climbing, an activity which could easily | get you killed or seriously injured.
I didn't know you cared.
Of course I care.
After all, that's | the way I was programmed, isn't it? Good morning.
The night crawlers | are in the refrigerator.
They're right next | to the, uh, Fudgesicles.
Your mealworms are on the counter.
| Don't worry, Clayton.
You can pay me later.
- Who's Clayton? | - Huh? - And what's a night crawler? | - Uh, a worm.
L- I don't mean Clayton.
Clayton is a a very sweet old man | who comes in here every morning to get his bait from me | about this time.
- A night crawler is a worm.
| - I see.
I guess you're not | a fisherman, are you? No.
I, uh I always thought | it was kind of boring.
Came to climb, but I've been known | to get hooked on new things.
Oh.
Uh, is there something I can do for you? Yeah.
Uh, the sign in the window | said "homemade hamburgers.
" I sure could go for one | with everything on it everything but the night crawlers.
No night crawlers.
| You got it.
Sis! You've got to come out front | and see this car! It's Mine.
You like it? | Like it? Are you kiddin'? If you hang in till I eat, | I'll take you for a ride.
Really? Uh, how would you | like this cooked? Medium.
| Uh, anything else with that? - Yeah.
How about some french fries? Well done.
| - And anything else? - Meaningful conversation? | - Rare.
Your, uh, sister | have a steady boyfriend? In this town? | She's beautiful.
Yeah, I noticed.
| Great body.
Yeah, I noticed that too.
| Ready to go? Sure.
| Let's do it.
Oh, could you stop up here? | I mean, if it's okay with you.
Sure.
How about | if I drop you off, though? I'm anxious to get settled | and check out White Rock Mountain.
Okay, but I just gotta see Donny Spencer's | face when I get out of this car.
He thinks he's so hot 'cause | his brother's got that dumb van.
- Catch ya later.
| - You got it.
Hey! Come on! Hey, hey, come on! That's enough! | Knock it off! Come on! He said your car was dumb.
| That's all right.
It's no big deal.
The only thing worse than leaning | on my van is touching my little brother.
Trying to make sure | nobody gets hurt.
- Is this yours? | - Yeah.
What about it? I don't know.
I mean | I mean, I love it.
I mean, it's so original.
| Yeah? Well, yours is dumb.
| Dumb, huh? Your family seems to have | a somewhat limited vocabulary.
Hey, you talk about my family, you gotta | deal with the top dog! That's me! Oh, I didn't know you were the pick of | the litter.
You're really looking for it.
- Howdy, Lonny.
| - Sheriff.
- Any problem here? | - Nothing I can't handle, Sheriff.
And with pleasure.
Yeah, I suppose so, Lonny.
| You just passin' through town, mister? Kind of.
I came here | to do a little rock climbing.
Oh, one of those macho types, huh? | Well, if you enjoy rock climbing, White Rock is as good as they come, | or so they say.
Hey, don't let us hold you up.
You askin' me | to get out of town? I'm tellin' you that it takes | two to make an argument.
- And if there's only one of you in town | - Suppose I decide to stay? I'm a peace officer, son.
| With the emphasis on the word "peace.
" Now, like I said before, | it takes two to make an argument.
- But if one of you's in jail | - Any bets on who it'll be? - Guess I better go rock climbing, huh? | - That's what I call good thinking.
Whoop! Wait a minute.
I'm gonna have | to see your driver's license first.
What for? Well, I've gotta | finish up this citation.
You made an illegal U-turn back there.
Boy, you sure did let the sheriff | push you around! What do you think I should've done? Shot | it out with him like you see in the movies? Well, no.
But still How old are you, Davey? | Ten.
Well, if you want to make | 11, 12 and 13 like that, you better learn there's times | to fight and times not to fight.
Like when you can only win? No, that's the way bullies | like Big Lonny think.
I mean only when you | don't have any other choice.
Hey, you guys goin' | to some kind of costume party? That's a nice van you got there, pally.
Uh, painted it myself.
Got one of those, | uh, do-it-yourself kits.
- That must've been fun, huh? | - Yeah, kinda.
Nothin' to do around here.
| You must get awful bored.
I still gotta do a little stripping along Say, fellas, what do you say we give | old smart-mouth here a fresh start? So he can kind of keep what's left | of his mind occupied like.
- Ya dig? | - Right on.
Well, I guess I'm ready, KITT.
| See ya later.
Michael, I believe there is a considerable | risk factor involved in this operation.
Vacation.
Vacation.
| Not operation.
Yes, well, don't you think you should | preprogram me in the event you don't return? Thanks for the vote of confidence.
Michael, what shall I do | while you're gone? You're on vacation too, KITT.
| Get some sun.
Get us some beers! I bet the store is closed too.
Oh, I've got some news for you, man.
| It ain't gonna be for long.
Let's do it now! Good morning.
! Hello.
Now, you don't wanna | close up with all these customers.
Look at this, huh? | Aren't you Whoo, aren't you | a pretty little girl! Yes, indeed, huh? Make yourself at home! I knew this town | wasn't as boring as it looks.
What's your name, sweet thing? Davey Benson, | and we're closed.
Shh.
Well, let me explain | something to you, little man.
You see, what we got right here | is a special occasion.
And we're big customers.
You dig? And we're hungry.
Real hungry.
Dog, go away! I said go away, dog! Very well, then.
| You leave me no choice.
And that's known | as man's best friend.
You smell real good.
Knock it off, jerk! Come on, man.
| We don't need that kind of trouble.
Yeah, well, I think I'll just | I'll eat something first, huh? Okay.
| Yeah.
Hey! Hey, it's the man! Hey, everybody.
| Hey, man, just stay cool.
We're just customers, | that's all.
Right? I guess dessert's | gonna have to wait, huh? Welcome to town, fellas.
I see you found the best | hamburgers around, huh? Well, anyway, it's nice | to see you again, Sheriff.
I guess we better be splittin' | on down the road.
Hey, Priest, pay the little lady | so we can get out of here, man.
Wait a minute! Why don't we put it | on our American Express card? Do you recognize me? I think a 20 oughta cover it.
It's not just the money! Davey, | Davey, the man's being quite fair.
- Let's throw in a six-pack on the house.
| - Hey! Hold it, Sheriff Bruckner.
! | I can't afford to You know something, Sheriff? | That's real understanding of you.
And me and the boys | appreciate that.
My pleasure.
Say thank you, boys.
| Thank you.
I'll see you again.
We'll have to come back here | more often.
Man! Well, why in the hell do you think | Sneaker picked this town in the first place? We can only fight | one war at a time, right? Smart thinkin'! Maybe next time we come back, | he'll deputize us all.
How am I gonna carry this on a bike? | Here, carry that for me, man.
Why didn't you arrest them? How could | you just let them get away with that? Arrest them for what? They | didn't do anything, did they? Well, not really, but they You can | count your lucky stars we got off that easy.
What! | Will you listen to me? You don't mess | with those kind of people.
They're living out some kind of a fantasy, | and they're just lookin' for trouble.
Now, they're gonna be gone soon, | and everything is gonna be back to normal.
With no trouble.
All we have to do | is keep our wits about us.
In other words, you just would let them | get away with anything they please? In other words, it takes two | to make an argument.
A confrontation could cost more than | a little petty pilfering or bad manners.
A lot more.
! | You could call in the state police.
And do what? | Arrest them for not shaving? You made it, huh? What are you doing up here, | anyway? Looking for you.
There's trouble in town, and | I didn't know who to come to.
- What about the sheriff? | - Him? You gotta be kidding! There's this big, mean | bunch of bikers down in town.
I think they may do something to Sherry | if someone doesn't do something about it.
All right.
You go down.
| I'll pick you up by the road to town.
- Where are you going? | - To pick up my car.
- What's so important about your car? | - You'd be surprised.
You really would.
Go on, get outta here! | I'll meet you down there.
Are you all right? Michael! | Did Davey go and get you? Yeah.
It's okay.
It's no big deal.
| I got to make the climb okay.
At least somebody had a nice day.
Davey told me about | what happened everything.
Are you all right, really? I'm a lot better now.
Come here.
I think it might be a good idea | if I stay here tonight.
- They're back.
| - How many? Just one, but | it's the real mean one.
Wait.
You're not gonna need that.
Oh, that's a nice car.
Yours? | Yeah.
Say, you wouldn't mind if I drove it | around the block a little, would you? Well, personally, I wouldn't think | cars are your kind of scene.
Oh, don't worry about that.
| I can change.
- It's locked.
| - No.
No, man.
Just sticks sometimes.
Oh, ah, you're a wise guy, huh? Well, I don't know how you did that, but nobody makes a fool out of me | and gets away with it.
- Is that a fact? | - Yeah.
You know, you and your buddies must've watched | too many bad movies on TVwhen you were kids.
- Why is that? | - 'Cause your act's not only lousy, man, it's 10 years out of date.
You can't be for real.
| Oh, I'm for real.
I'm a Scorpion, Hilly.
Davey, run.
| Go get the sheriff, quick.
This is Stinger.
You're about to be the "stingee.
" Before or after the commercial? I think playtime's over, pal.
Michael.
Get in the car.
Get in the car.
Hey, there was a little accident here.
| I was just on my way to get some help.
What happened? | Hey, man, what is going on? Tough guy, huh? - What kind of a car is this? | - Go ahead and tell her, KITT.
Sorry.
Allow me | to introduce myself.
I am KITT, whom you may regard | as the voice of the Knight 2000.
An experimental prototype vehicle, | which among other Impervious to virtually | all forms of violence.
Specifically, the chemical | formula for the alloy is simply Hello, Sheriff.
Am I glad to see you.
Maybe that was the only way out of there, | but aren't you taking this a little too far? You're under arrest, Mr.
Knight, | so just relax.
You've gotta be kidding.
| Not at all.
I told you before | it takes two to make an argument.
I got a lot of problems right now.
| That idiot Lonny had to smart-mouth off to those bikers, | and they trashed his van.
What I don't need | is some hero coming in here trying to grandstand | for some damsel in distress.
You're really serious, | aren't you? You're gonna lock me up and let those | bikers do what they damn well please.
- Up to a point, you're right.
| - What is the point where you start to do something about it? That's my problem | and my responsibility.
Wait a minute.
| I get one phone call.
What's the number? The circuits are busy.
| I'll let you call again later.
How much later? | A whole lot later.
Yeah, that figures! | By the way, where's my car? Impounded.
Those darn bikers.
Somebody oughta | find out what they're doing around town.
You listen to me.
I don't want you | to go anywhere near those bikers.
They're a real mean bunch, okay? Yeah, sis, but with Michael in jail, | somebody's gotta do something.
Hey, I don't care about somebody! | All I care about is you! And I don't wanna hear that | you've been anywhere near them.
You get the message? I mean it, you know.
I want everybody's ride | in ace shape, okay, man? You got it.
| What? What'd you say? You listen up, man! I don't want | any more trouble out of you! - What about the chick? | - Afterwards.
- What are you laughing at, you freak? | - Hey, listen up, everybody.
Them Dogs are gonna be riding | in here tomorrow.
Now, we can only fight | one war at a time.
So I want everybody ready.
| You dig? You dig? Sheriff? What? | I've been thinkin'.
If you deputize me, at least I'll | be available if you need some help.
Son, you just get yourself some rest, and if I need you, | I'll know exactly where to find you.
- I'm goin'out on night patrol.
| - Do me a favor, will you? - What? | - Check on Davey and Sherry.
KITT, where are you? - Impounded, Michael, just like you.
| - Can you get out? Of course.
Do you want me | to come get you out? - No, no.
I can handle that myself.
| - Are you quite sure? Yeah, I'm sure.
| Any more questions? Just one.
| Are we still on vacation? Oh, did it move for you too? Are we, as they say, | getting out of town? No.
We're gonna find the Scorpions | and see what they're up to.
- KITT, wait here.
| - Are you sure? I don't think you could pass | as a motorcycle.
- It would be a problem.
| - Listen, if I don't make it back, go find Davey and Sherry | and take 'em out of White Rock.
You're the driver.
But on the whole, I think | it would be preferable if you did come back.
Thanks.
Knock, knock.
| Who's there? - Salmon chanted.
| - Who? - Salmon chanted.
| - Salmon chanted You got some fire, my man? Come on, man.
| I ain't got all night.
All right.
Thanks, brother.
The Road Dogs are gonna fall, man! I, myself, personally | are gonna take off half their heads! What about you turkeys? | Can you handle the other half, huh? Yeah! | They'll never know what hit 'em.
Biggest biker war on the West Coast.
| We're gonna put this place on the map.
Hey, you know that chick at the store? | I still want a part of her, man.
Hey.
Later, okay? I promise.
All right? Hey, let's party.
Give me a beer.
- KITT, looks like we got ourselves a real problem.
| - Would you care to share it with me? Those bikers are planning | a full-scale gang war tomorrow.
If that's a problem, it would appear | to be a self-solving problem.
Like how? | Like why do we care who wins? Because they're planning on using | the town as the battlefield.
That's why.
Yes, I see.
| It could make a difference at that.
Well, I suppose we'll just | have to do something about it, then.
- Got any ideas? | - I thought I'd let you try first.
It always makes you feel so much better | on those rare occasions when you outthink me.
Oh, that's funny.
| That's-That's very funny.
Look what I found! Her little, bitty baby kid brother! | Well, isn't he cute, huh? Michael, why don't you let me go in alone | and explain to the sheriff what happened? Because it's more believable | if it comes from me.
But suppose he tries to put you | right back in jail? He won't.
| Not after what I tell him.
That's for good luck.
Come on.
Never mind, Bernie.
| The problem just took care of itself.
I'll see if I can arrange | some kind of a reward for you, Sherry, for apprehending the prisoner.
Oh, come on, Sheriff.
He is not a criminal.
| A few hours ago, I might've believed you.
Since then, he has stolen his vehicle | from the impound lot and broken out of jail.
I didn't steal my car.
Oh, I suppose you want me to believe that | it drove itself over here and picked you up.
You don't know it yet, but you got | a serious problem on your hands.
The only problem I've got is you.
Anything | else you might say, save it for the judge.
Now, listen to me.
The Scorpions | are planning a gang war at White Rock.
Some other guys, the Road Dogs, | are on their way here right now.
If you don't believe me, | check it out with the highway patrol.
A gang war? | In White Rock? It's true! And we've | got to do something about it! I'll tell you what we're gonna do.
| We're gonna put this lunatic back in a cell where he belongs.
Why would I break out of jail | and come back here and lie to you? I don't know you, mister, | and White Rock doesn't know you either.
There's not gonna be a White Rock | in 24 hours if you don't listen to me.
Look, he's telling you the truth! - You got a fast choice to make, Sheriff.
| - What's that? Either you go along with me | and help me save the town Or? Or I'm gonna try and save | the town without you.
I knew that guy | was gonna be trouble.
Hey, you guys, wake up.
! | Wake up.
! Hey, Monk, wake up.
| Wake up, Monk.
You sure you want to stay | in the car? Well, Sally Field stayed in the car | in Smokey and the Bandit.
I think I'm safer with you, anyway.
You sure about that? | No.
Morning, boys.
| Rise and shine.
The lady here wants to see | what the animals are like when the zoo's still closed.
So you wanna see | what the animals look like, huh? Hey, if you want the kid, man, | get out of the car and we'll talk.
Oh, no.
Michael, they've got Davey! Hey, come on, punk.
| I'm waitin'for you, man.
! God, Michael.
| What are we gonna do? Come on, man.
! I'm waitin:! | Get out.
! Get out.
! Just watch.
Okay, KITT, buddy, | let's shake 'em up.
Go! Go! How'd they get you, Davey? | It was kinda dumb, I guess.
I was sneakin' around the camp just to see | what they were gonna do, and I got caught.
Oh, Davey, are you all right? | I'm fine.
Hey, this is some kind of car! | It didn't look like this before.
We're playin' for keeps now, Davey.
Well, what are we gonna do? We're gonna play a little chicken | with the Scorpions.
We got him now, man.
| He's on our kind of ground, baby.
Hyperspace! Hey, you're not gonna stop? Not at the moment.
You did it! We did it! | We got 'em on the run! Not yet.
| I'd rather have them chasing me.
Aren't you going | just a little fast? Sally Field trusted Burt Reynolds.
Right.
I sure hope | the sheriff came through.
Don't worry about it.
All you | gotta do is I know.
Just hold on.
We did it! | We finally showed those punks! I think they did it to themselves, | Davey, with maybe a little help from us.
Son, I owe you an apology.
I guess I'm not only a peace officer.
| I'm also a law enforcement officer.
The accent on "enforcement.
" No harm done, Sheriff.
At least not to anybody | who didn't have it coming.
- I'd appreciate it if you'd help me tidy up a bit.
| - You got it.
Happy to oblige.
Thanks a lot.
I think you might've made | a wrong turn back there! You can see what happened | to the last gang that came through here.
- Oh, Devon.
| - Oh, Michael! Back so soon? Well, sit down and regale me with | the lurid details of your vacation.
Well, it wasn't much | of a vacation after all.
Yes, I know.
We received the state | police report only this morning.
You don't seem to be able | to low-profile it anywhere, do you? I'm just lucky, I guess.
There are those who might say that "disaster | prone''would be a better way of putting it.
Do have a little wine.
| Thanks.
Anyway, I think it should count | as a Foundation mission, even though it was | sort of coincidental.
Very well.
I'll put yet another | gold star upon your report card, and I'll okay your expenses | within reason, of course.
Well, I'd rather have some | time off, if you don't mind.
Another vacation? | What a splendid idea! Yes, you do need to revitalize | the tissues, you know.
Go ahead.
And as I said before, | don't hurry back.
Thanks.
I'll see ya.
That's funny.
He didn't even | argue with me this time.
Well? What did he say? He said to take | all the time I wanted.
What a nice man.
Mmm.
Am I safe in assuming that nobody | wants to play Geography at the moment? Yes.
You're right.
| Just keep driving.
But for how long? Till one of us runs out of gas.
Mmm.