Life and Dirt (2024) s01e04 Episode Script

1
Hi Yo.
I've been trying to call you
and clearly you're still mad at me.
And I understand. It's fine.
So I've made up my mind
that I never want to do
anything that's going to hurt you again,
after the last time.
And that's why I've been trying
to call you so I can tell you that I'm
pregnant.
Call me back when you get this. Okay?
That's why I've been trying to call you
so I can tell you that I'm pregnant.
pregnant.
Hello.
IJ, what's up?
Can you see how you made me break the news
to you because you're so unforgiving?
What do you mean you're pregnant?
I'm with child.
Surprising right?
Yeah.
Uhm Congratulations.
Thank you.
So, who's the father?
What kind of silly question is that?
Obviously the child's father's name is Yo.
Hello?
Hello, are you there?
Look Yo, no pressure. Okay?
I know you'd be surprised,
especially because I said
I would never have a child but like
This is like a new leaf
Like a brand new beginning for me.
You know, and
Honestly, not in a rude way
but if you don't want to be
involved in this journey,
then I'm not forcing you.
I'm honestly
I'm not begging you.
But I feel like you should know
that you have a child on the way
and I'm four months gone.
So
yeah.
Look Yo,
you have to convince her to abort.
There's no other way.
Okay? It's as simple as that.
It's not that simple.
Don't tell me it's simple again.
You'll make me mad.
It's not that simple.
-Calm down.
-Don't tell me to calm down!
I feel I'm already terminally ill!
How can you be telling me to calm down!
For what?
-Calm down!
-I can't calm down!
Calm down!
You have to pull yourself together!
Look, if you spook her,
trust me, she's gone.
You have to sweet talk her.
Okay?
Encourage her. Okay?
Let her know that you want this
as much as she wants it.
But this is not the right time.
You have to go gently. Okay?
Breathe man. Breathe.
Remember what Nene said.
Everything that you desire,
she will give to you.
Everything.
So you think about Nene
when you're doing this.
Look at this house you dreamt it.
I love it.
Hey Yo!
You're actually right on time. Nkem was
just helping me look at prenatal stuff.
That's so weird. Me even saying prenatal.
Yeah.
Yo, come on and join us.
Stop staring.
Don't mind him.
He's still not sure if he wants the baby.
That's his business.
It is what it is at this point.
Oh, dear. This peeing thing
is really a thing, God!
I feel like I go every two seconds.
Is it really a thing like that?
Everything is part of it.
I'll be back. I'm coming.
What do you think you're doing?
I hope you're not getting any funny ideas?
You have to convince her
to get rid of that thing!
You knew the rules.
This happened before I
This predates everything.
I know, but rules are rules.
Really? So you're just going to sit down
and watch this happen to me!
You don't get it, do you?
I don't owe you anything.
And even if I did, she's my sister.
I feel like peeing 200 times a day.
My darling, I will see you later. Okay?
Okay. Yeah, we'd talk though.
-Yes.
-Yes.
Okay, Boo.
Thank you.
See you.
My Dad is so excited about the baby!
It's It's a boy.
My tummy hasn't like
started shooting out yet. No I
but I can actually do everything.
Like I can
But I'm going to be responsible.
I'm not partying
or doing drugs or anything like that.
I'm going to be responsible,
calm and you know new IJ.
You obviously don't want the baby, yeah.
What changed?
This is not the usual you.
What happened?
Sit. Come on, sit. Let's have
a conversation. Come on.
Okay, so after that night, I felt like
really bad, like really guilty
about everything that happened.
And you know I've had
bouts of depression before.
And I went back into my dark place
and I decided to do something different.
And I realized that
I've literally been running away from
trauma from the last 14 years of my life.
Like me going out partying,
drugs, turning up
and just doing whatever the hell I like.
It was just me trying to run away from
all my pain and everything that's hurt me
all the trauma literally.
What trauma?
I was
I was raped by a relative
when I was 16 years old.
Which relative?
I don't know.
What do you mean by you don't know?
Okay, so it was a Christmas
and we were in the village,
in one of my Dad's mansions.
And uhm
There were a bunch of relatives,
like so many uncles
and like everybody was staying over.
And you know like his mansions
have so many rooms,
like way more than I can count. And
That night I got really drunk,
like really wasted out of my face.
Someone came into my room
and
had his way with me.
I I didn't see his face.
And really,
I don't really remember much
but I remember
he was definitely an older guy.
Definitely.
And uhm yeah.
Who did you tell?
No no one.
No one.
Just my therapist and now you.
That's it.
I'm so sorry.
Me too.
But look, it's not a pity party.
I'm not telling you
so you feel sorry for me or anything.
I'm getting better, I'm talking about it
and I'm you know
This baby is like a golden child,
like my new start, my new beginning.
And I'm not forcing you
to be in our lives.
But I feel like out of respect for you,
you should know. Right?
What's wrong? What's the matter?
I'm happy and I'm sad at the same time.
Don't get me wrong, I'm
I want this. I really want this.
But you know,
you've never really asked me
about my family.
I tried to tell you and you said
you know I'm from the trenches.
That's when I realized you know
absolutely nothing about me, IJ.
I'm from a wealthy family.
Or let's say I was from a wealthy family.
But my parents died tragically.
That's how I ended up here.
My Dad had other children.
My Mum too had other children of her own.
They had just me together.
I don't want anything
to happen to this child.
We have to run all the possible tests
available because..
I will be very upset if anything
happens to this child,
if anything is wrong with it.
What are you talking about?
See, I don't mean to scare you,
but I come from a family that
has a history of very deadly illnesses.
My Doctor told me.
And he showed me the records.
I was alarmed.
That's why I am saying we have to
ensure nothing is wrong with this child.
My last girlfriend.
She had a child for me.
The child didn't live up to 2 years.
Hole in the heart. Diabetes. Sickle cell.
I felt really horrible.
You're scaring me!
No! Don't be scared.
Listen. As for me, I'm okay.
And I'm sure when we check,
this child too would be very okay.
So don't be scared. Don't worry.
Okay?
I assure you of that. I'm sure.
I do my tests every other year.
What is it?
Nothing. It's just that aside,
this is it not the plan
I had for me and you, IJ.
Every time I've thought about you,
it's seeing you walking down the aisle.
Dressed in white,
veiled, looking resplendent.
Getting on stage or is it altar?
Running off to our honeymoon.
Madagascar, Maldives, you name it.
I just want to be
close to nature with you.
Me and you breathing nature,
feeling nature.
That's my idea
of what our relationship should be like
and I don't want children
coming in the way just yet.
We need to enjoy ourselves
for at least two years
before we start thinking
of having children.
Are you proposing?
See I just want us
to get the sequence right, IJ.
Let's do things the right way because
I love you, IJ. I love you.
I have always loved you.
And I will always love you.
Do you hate me?
No, stop.
You know I like you.
-You like me?
-You know that.
Let's spend time together.
When we spend quality time,
you would know you've always loved me.
I've missed this your colored tongue.
Come here.
-It's not good for the baby.
-Huh?
It's not good for the baby.
That's true.
But you know
Never mind.
No, what is it? What's that?
Apart from worrying about our future,
I'm really concerned about you.
What about me?
You don't think I'd be a good mother?
Well, clearly you're showing signs
that you will be a good mother but
I'm worried about the health of the child.
Doctor literally said I'm fine.
IJ, you're from a rich family.
Mhm?
The doctor would do everything
to keep you as a customer
on his payroll.
He will always tell you people
what you want to hear
and how that aligns with his pocket.
I promise you if an abortion was
more expensive, he would tell you
you should get an abortion.
No. He's our family doctor.
He's literally one of the best.
That's my point exactly.
"Family doctor". It's a business for him.
That doesn't mean he's right all the time.
He can be wrong.
When I was rushed to the hospital,
the doctor said I didn't stand a chance.
They meant well but they were wrong.
Listen
the last thing I want is for two of us
to spend the rest of our lives
running from hospital to hospital,
trying to cater for a child
with special needs.
So what are you suggesting?
I'm saying we should start again.
Start afresh, you know?
It's not like
having an abortion is the only thing
on the table but let's go to a clinic.
One of these small clinics where they
don't know me and you as rich people.
Let's find one. Go there. Run tests and
they'd tell us the truth as it is. Okay?
Okay.
Thank you.
Why why are you doing lines?
You made me like it. I used to see
the fire in your eyes. Come, take.
No, I've been clean for weeks.
Haba! First time
I want to do this with you
Do you know how I used to admire you?
Besides, we're starting all over again.
Remember?
Just this once. After this, we'll draw
a proper plan for our lives.
How we want to go
step by step with our life.
You know you're the reason
why I'm actually doing this.
I feel probably
that's why we always used to fight,
and not understand each other.
This one is very pure.
I've really not touched this for weeks.
I know and I admire you for that.
I just feel
it's part of our bonding process,
because back then I was always like,
maybe it's because I don't you know
Come on the same boat with you that
We were always fighting
and misunderstanding each other.
There you go.
One for the road.
Yeah.
Easy, easy.
Easy.
Sit down.
Yeah.
Easy.
Good girl.
This clinic you brought me to is funny
and hellish at the same time.
I know, right.
Funny enough, it's places like this
that house some of the best doctors.
-For real?
-Uh-huh.
Isn't that blood on the wall?
Maybe he had an emergency.
Okay. It's all here.
Sorry that it took a while.
You know when it comes to health,
you have to be meticulous.
Thank you so much, Doctor.
Yeah.
You know you're pregnant, right?
Is there any
any issue with the result or anything?
Well, no human can be a hundred percent.
My job as a doctor is to make sure
that you are okay,
although the decision to be okay
is up to you.
How do you mean?
Lifestyle.
Mr. Yo.
You have a very peculiar family history.
You're one person who must be sure of
who you're getting pregnant.
So you don't create a problem
for the baby's mother
for the rest of her life.
You know it's the women
that raise the children.
Sir, you're not talking straight. What is
the problem? What is the issue?
If it's okay for me to speak,
I will tell you now.
Sure. Why? Go ahead?
Okay.
Judging from your biological makeup,
you should not be having a baby
by this man.
It's too risky.
Huh?
But don't panic.
There's nothing prayer cannot do.
But as for me,
I'd like to put you on bedrest,
at least for up to 20 hours.
I need to run some tests.
I plan on traveling to have this baby.
Better, but the sooner you leave,
the better.
Okay.
Please, let's leave this place.
We'll leave this place now,
but I need you to know that I'll kill
myself if anything happens to you.
I don't want to think it,
but if anything goes wrong,
I will run mad.
Don't test me.
The last thing I want to see is you hurt,
bedridden or lifeless. Please!
So what's your point?
I'll rather lose the baby than lose you.
There'll be other babies
but there'll never be another you.
Wait!
IJ, wait! IJ, what happened?
What's going on?
-IJ!
-I can't! I won't! I will never!
Wait! Wait! Hold on!
Calm down, breath, take it easy.
-I just want to go home!
-I know, but wait! Wait!
Talk to me.
What happened?
I just want to go home!
I just want to fucking go home!
Please!
Okay! I'll take you home.
I will take you home now! Okay?
But I just need you
to calm down and breathe.
Breathe. Come here.
I'll take you home, okay?
Babe.
Never take me to a place like that again.
Never! You need
to understand that I was unsettled.
I wasn't thinking right too but now
that I see how strong you are
Now that I see how determined you are,
I'm with you.
I want the best for me.
I want the best for you.
I want the best for us. And by us,
I mean including the baby.
Ah! This has never
really happened to me before.
You know? So I was like, man
I didn't know what to do. That's why.
I was just restless.
But when I see you, I draw strength.
You have no idea
how powerful a woman you are.
Anywhere you want to go,
I will follow you because I love you.
I love you. I don't know how to say it
but I'm forming the words.
When you're not with me,
do you know how unsettled I am?
Promise you'd never leave me
because I'd never leave you.
You would have to get a restraining order,
I swear.
Restraining order. I'll chase you
everywhere with flowers.
I'll chase you everywhere.
Please, okay?
I love you, right.
Love you
Come
The baby.
Baby!
Yo!
Yo!
You can cook?
I wanted to surprise you
with breakfast in bed.
And I ruined it by coming down. I'm sorry.
I didn't know you will wake up.
You were snoring.
-I don't snore.
-You snore.
-I don't.
-You snore.
No, I don't.
You snore, my darling.
See, why don't you sit down.
Let me serve you breakfast special,
on the table. Okay?
-Okay.
-Come with me. Let me take you.
You're kind of romantic. I like it.
You're a queen.
You deserve all the attention.
C'mon.
Here we go.
Special delivery
Oh!
for the queen herself.
-This looks good.
-Trust me, you're going to love it.
-I'm excited!
-There you go.
For your soup.
-Thank you.
-Your yam.
Thank you.
And this is mine.
-This looks so good.
-Yeah, it is.
And it's spicy too.
You're going to love it. So, dig in.
I almost said I loved you.
That's scary
Hold that thought.
By the time you finish it
you're going to be singing you love me.
It's a secret recipe
that my mom has taught me.
Every time I have used it,
everyone who has had a taste
has ended up licking their plates.
What! I'll lick the plate. I love that.
Oh! This looks so good.
Oh my God.
Have you started thinking
of baby names yet?
Hummn No.
You know, naming a baby is quite divine.
-Yeah.
-So I don't think we should rush.
I agree.
I agree but we need to start
thinking of something
that we can call the bump,
like a pet name.
Because you know I'll start showing soon.
My stomach is going to bulge
any time soon.
So, we need to get on top of that.
True. That's true.
And I don't want an English name.
No English names. We're not English.
That's true too.
And then, maybe
maybe we can go to America
to have the baby.
-Yeah.
-I can ask Daddy for a private jet.
And we can make it a whole thing.
Like we can ask Nkem to come.
Obviously, Mummy will come. Maybe
Daddy too. Like everybody would come.
It'd be like a whole thing.
Babe, the soup is getting cold.
Oh! Sorry.
I love that.
Real good.
This is soft.
Very soft.
What?
No. I'm fine.
Just waiting for you to taste the soup.
Oh! Sorry, sorry.
Is that why you're looking angry?
No, I'm just trying to impress you.
I'm so impressed. Like I'm so excited.
It's like a whole new us.
Like a new beginning for us.
Like a new family.
When I have the baby I can just say,
babe I need pepper soup,
and you'll just bring it to me.
Flying for me
Flying pepper soup, just for me
Where's pepper soup?
Here I am, here I am, here I am
And how do you do?
In my tummy, yummy, yummy, yummy
Just for me
Here I am, here I am
And yum dum dum
That's how we'll feed the baby
When the baby won't eat pepper soup,
I'll eat pepper soup, obviously.
I'll play with the baby like that.
Okay, one more.
Really?
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Pep.
Pep who?
Pepper them!
Yo Yo, pepper them
Pepper them!
Yo Yo, pepper them oh
Pepper them, yoyoyo.
Pepper them!
Pepper them!
Okay, last one
Eat the damn soup
and stop fooling around!
Are you going to force me?
No, no! I won't force you. Right?
But I will not sit here
and watch you disrespect me.
So, open your mouth
and eat the soup that I made for you.
What? What Yo? What?