Liv and Maddie (2013) s01e04 Episode Script

What are we watching? Fashion Week? Music videos? Oh Basketball.
I know it looks like we must be identical twins, but sometimes I seriously question it.
Yeah, I'm studying the game tape for our school rivals, the Ravens.
They wiped the floor with us last year.
It was the first game I ever started and I scored seven points.
Oh! Seven points.
Yay.
Not yay.
Not even a little yay.
It was humiliating.
It was a career low.
But I've been working my butt off and this Friday, Maddie Rooney is gonna pluck those Ravens! Boom! What?! I don't hear game tape.
Why aren't you watching the Ravens? You gotta get ready.
Now let me see that rage face.
Rage face! Rage face! It's like I live with a family of bears.
That's what I'm looking for.
Get back to your game tape.
Oh, could you do me a favor? Don't tell your mother I'm fanning the flames of your fury.
"Fanning the flames of your fury".
And somehow I'm the dramatic one.
Maddie, you're still hogging the TV? It's not normal for kids to be playing outside this much.
How about you pause-a-rooski that video and come to the Mall with me for a sister-centric shopping fest? Oh, Liv, I would so love to go to the Mall with you, except I hate the Mall and I'm busy.
Are you sure you wouldn't rather have some Liv time? You know, they say it's good for the soul.
Yeah, there's been a lot of Liv time since you moved home, and it's been great.
But now I have basketball season and midterms, and I can't just pause-a-rooski my life to hang out with you 24/7.
I think maybe it's time for you to find a friend.
Okay.
What are you doing? That Truth Bomb just blew up in my face.
What's the problem? I mean, I'm sure a lot of kids at school want to be your friend.
You're Liv Rooney.
Yeah, and people are really nice, but then they want an autograph Or for me to reenact scenes from Sing it loud! Which I don't mind doing.
Do you want to hear a scene? Seriously people, it's getting dark outside.
Better in stereo.
B b better in stereo.
- I'm up with the sunshine.
- Let's go.
- I lace up my high tops.
- Oh no.
- Slam dunk.
- Ready or not.
Yeah, show me what you got.
- I'm under the spotlight.
- Holler.
I dare you, come on and follow.
You dance to your own beat.
I'll sing the melody.
When you say yea-ah-ah.
I say no-oh-oh.
When you say stop.
All I want to do is go, go, go.
You, you, the other half of me, me.
The half I'll never be.
The half that drives me crazy.
You, you, the better half of me, me.
The half I'll always need.
But we both know.
We're better in stereo Liv, Maddie told me what you're up to.
How's "find a new friend" day going? Mom, don't name days like that.
I thought we discussed this on "it's just a pimple, you're going to school" day.
I remember that chat.
It was on "I'm your mom, now do what I say" day.
My mom chats with me at my locker every morning.
I think I just cracked the mystery of why I have no friends.
Remember, never judge a book by his or her cover Except those kids who hang out by the dumpsters.
Those filthy dirt bags are bad news.
Oh, excuse me, will you sign this? Oh, sorry.
I only do autographs after fourth period.
Oh no no no.
This is a petition to start meatless mondays in the cafeteria.
My name's Ocean, and uh you look familiar.
I get that a lot.
I'm Liv Rooney, start of the hit-tacular show - "Sing it lo" - No.
I think we have German together.
Wait wait, let me see the back of your head.
Come on.
Yes.
I sit two rows behind you.
Guten tag.
Yep.
That's me, just Liv Rooney from German class.
- I love your backpack.
- Oh thanks.
I made it myself from my old jeans.
I'm into up-cycling.
Wow.
You are positively perk-a-licious.
I live on a sunflower farm.
If those little seeds can spring out of the Earth and find the sun Why can't I? Do you want to do something later? I can't.
See, I have Spirit Club, Archery lessons, oh, and my blog "Happiest teen on the prairie.
" But tomorrow I'm totally free.
Let's hang out.
- Ah! Let's do it.
- Okay.
Check it out the Z-Phone 620Q.
The most advanced smart phone on the planet.
I have not set it down since I got it.
Seriously Parker, can you take it out of my hand? It's cramping.
That is long enough.
That is long enough.
I hadn't seen Joey this excited since we got our pet hamster, Templeton.
He wouldn't let that out of his hand either.
Hope we won't have to bury that phone in the backyard, too.
Oh, Joey.
Quit showing off your new toy.
The Z-Phone 620Q is not a toy, mother.
Well, I'm very glad to hear you say that because it was not cheap.
I haven't forgotten.
I'm gonna pay you back.
That's why I got this cruddy mall food court job.
A job you're gonna be late for, so come on.
It's time to go.
Not quite yet.
Now it's time.
Trust the Z, mother.
Trust the Z.
Don't look at me.
You raised him.
Crush the Ravens! Kill the Ravens! Dominate Lost my rhythm.
Ask me what I did today.
No, don't.
I need to blurt.
I made a friend.
Oh wow! She doesn't even care that I'm the famous Liv Rooney.
Yay.
She likes me for me.
Liv, that's so awesome.
And see? That was not nearly as hard as you thought it was gonna be.
I have to admit, you were right.
Well, thank you.
Aren't her backpacks so cool too? So cool! She even said she was gonna make me one out of her mom's old bell-bottoms.
Wait, what? I never said anything about backpacks.
How'd you know it was Ocean? Look.
Pretty lights.
Maddie.
My twinstincts are telling me that you're up to something.
Fine.
Do you remember how you were saying that it's really hard for you to make new friends because everyone knows who you are? Well, I sort of found the only girl in school who's family doesn't have a TV and sort of sent her your way? You sent Ocean to me? I can't believe this.
You totally friend-dipulated the situation! Well Liv, I just thought you needed some help.
And I thought that Ocean liked me for me, but now I guess we'll never know, because you think I'm so pathetic you had to go and set the whole thing up.
- You just wanted to get rid of me.
- Liv, that's not true.
You were out friend shopping and I just made it easier.
I brought the friend store to you.
Do not distract me with shopping metaphors! Uh, Chambers, the muck bucket out back is full.
What do you want me to do with this disgusting veggie muck? Whoa whoa whoa.
What kind of an attitude is that? Muck is the lifeblood of The Happy Carrot.
You are holding orange gold, Sir.
Yeah, I just want to know where to put the bucket.
Joey, do you have any idea how lucky you are to be here? The fastest growing carrot-based franchise in all of Wisconsin.
How many carrot based franchises are there in Wisconsin? Logic kills, Joey.
Come on, you and me are riding the beta-carotene wave.
Oh, that is great.
So Bucket? Yeah, just pour it down the drain.
That stuff starts to smell really fast.
Probably not supposed to say this to my boss, but I really hate this job.
I love this guy.
And I've got something that's gonna turn that 'tude right around.
Ka-ching! Your first paycheck.
Sweet.
I gotta get a Z-Pic of this.
Wait, only 34 bucks? Taxes, Jojo.
You're on the grid now.
At that rate it was gonna take seven months to pay off my Z-Phone.
I did the math in my head, and by head I mean phone.
One of these days, that will be the same thing.
Oh hey! Liv Rooney, Liv Rooney! Liv Rooney.
Liv Rooney? Good news.
Meatless Monday is official.
Big smiley faces when I told all the cows in my barn this morning.
Okay, so are we still on for later? Um Thanks but no thanks, Ocean.
Maddie told me that she set this whole thing up, so you don't have to pretend to like me anymore.
Oh my oatmeal.
Liv Rooney, Liv Rooney, Liv Rooney Rooney Rooney.
It's not like that, okay? I mean sure it was Maddie's idea but, people can become friends in all different ways.
Sorry, Ocean.
I don't need a pity friend.
I was going to make my own friends.
I didn't need Maddie's help to do that.
I didn't need Maddie's help to do anything.
Well, occasionally she pops a back zit for me, but that's it.
You look interesting.
I'm Liv.
Congratulations.
Ooh.
Careful.
Don't want to dent your locker.
It's not my locker, I just Don't like to litter.
See you.
Um I didn't catch your name.
That's okay.
We can do that later.
Did I just see you talking to Kylie Kramer? Oh! That's her name.
Liv, stay away from her.
She's really bad news.
Why, because you didn't pick her for me? I'm serious.
She's really big trouble.
I mean, this girl's been kicked out of three schools.
One of them was online.
Ooh, I wear black.
I switched schools.
I must be a bad girl.
I get it.
You're angry with me and you want to pick your own friends.
Just please don't pick Kylie.
Oh, so now I have to run all my friendship choices by you? I like Kylie.
So don't be dissing on my Kay-Kay.
Fine.
But don't be surprised when your Kay-Kay turns out to be cray-cray.
- Hey, Kay-Kay.
- Yeah, that's not happening.
Got it.
So my sister says you're kind of a bad girl? Yeah, I got in trouble at my old school, but I'm a totally different person now.
Oh, you turned over a new leaf? No, I got a new I.
D.
I'm literally a different person.
I'm ditching the last two periods.
Want to come? You mean like skip class? I've never done this before.
I mean, even on my show, I was a good girl.
I had other issues - Like I was a down-on-her-luck rich girl.
.
- Boring! I'm going to the Mall.
The Mall? Is this a sign or what? I cut school and was outside without any sunscreen.
Can you say "living on the edge"? Oh, hey Maddie.
Good luck on the game tonight.
Boo Ravens! That's your first time cheering for sports, isn't it? Yeah.
That's the voice I normally use to get the chickens back in their coop.
You know, "go chickens!" Oh, by the way.
It doesn't look like it's gonna work out with me and Liv.
Yeah.
I'm sorry about that.
I so thought it was gonna work out with you guys.
I mean, you're a Wisconsin farm girl, she's a Hollywood TV actress.
Yeah, why did I think it was gonna work out with you guys? No worries, Maddie Rooney.
Oh, can you give these class notes to her? I noticed she wasn't in German.
Tell her it was totally That means "awesome.
" Wait, Liv wasn't in German? Was she sick? I heard she ditched school to go to the Mall.
Why would Liv ditch? Kylie.
Hey, Jojo.
Tell me what you know-know.
Okay listen, Chambers, I need a promotion.
I am not making enough money to pay off my phone and I smell like a rotting vegetable.
All right, buddy.
So sell me.
Next step up is counter man.
Why should I make you the bright smiling face of The Happy Carrot? Because it pays 50 cents more an hour.
Yes! That's the spark I've been looking for.
The job is yours, my man.
You start immediately.
Back to muck land, Rodney.
You really should have smiled more.
A carrot cape.
With great responsibility comes awesome accessories.
I was the proud owner of a Z-Phone 620Q and I was getting paid to wear a cape.
Could life get any better? I know that sounds like a question, but it is a statement.
May I help you? Question.
Why does my teenage brother sleep in a cape? Answer.
Because he can no longer fit in his race-car bed.
I thought we were here to have some real fun.
And all you want to do is look at clothes.
Well I thought we'd become lifelong friends while trying on sweaters.
Seriously? Hey, how about we get your nose pierced like mine? Yeah, as an actress I can't really punch holes in my face.
Oh! Classic aviators.
Jet-tastic.
More shopping? Okay, grumpy pants.
Why don't we go grab you a snack? Hey, Liv.
Here.
Ooh.
You bought these? Nope.
I stole them.
- What?! - Hey, girls! Get back here! Run! Liv! You dropped your sunglasses.
That's her.
She's the one that took them.
Wait, these are stolen? - Well, that wasn't me.
- Save it, blondie.
I never forget a face.
I so hate the Mall.
Shoplifting? What were you thinking? I was thinking that if Liv got busted for shoplifting Every single gossip blog in the country, would spin it out of control and trash her And that I really wish I'd stopped by the pretzel cart before I got popped.
Just because security let you go does not mean you're off the hook.
This calls for a big punishment.
Maddie, we are taking away your cellphone for a month.
You do that all the time.
That's like the meatloaf of punishments.
Dude.
Mind your own meatloaf.
Little guy's right.
It's gotta be something that really matters.
We need the filet mignon of punishments.
Okay, Maddie You are benched from tonight's game against the Ravens.
- Are you serious?! - What?! Brutal.
You just got mommed! Sweetie, you can't bench my star player for the Ravens game.
Ground her.
Take her computer away.
Take her glasses away.
This is your fault.
You got her so worked up about this Ravens game and she acted out.
Fine.
Bench me then.
Let her play.
Maddie, you are benched.
- But, mom! - End of conversation.
I just don't know what got into you.
Neither do I.
But, I intend to find out.
Number nine? Your Tempeh of Doom is ready.
Number nine, are you there? Is did they leave? They left.
Oh.
Thank you.
Nailed that.
Joey, we're slammed.
Help me make the Garden Wraps.
What? No no, I'm the counter guy.
I am not ready to wrap! Dinner rush is where stars are made, my friend, now pay attention.
It goes Tortilla, hummus, tzicki, tahini, cucumber, lettuce, tomato.
Say it with me.
Tortilla, hummus, tzicki, tahini Hang on, let me put it in my phone.
No, there's no time for that.
You put the phone down and you pull up those big boy pants.
Oh, this is too much pressure! My heart rate is 145.
Oh good.
I'm so glad you're home.
I have been dying to talk to you.
You were so right.
Kylie is bad news.
That's funny, coming from a shoplifter.
- What? I didn't - Liv, I was there.
You stole sunglasses.
Pause the news feed.
Maddie, I didn't steal anything.
I mean, Kylie stuck those shades in my hand, I dropped them and I bolted.
I didn't even wait for the machine that was engraving our names on a penny.
Wait, you didn't steal them? Liv, I I took the blame for you.
What? Why? Because If I hadn't, that security guard would have caught you, and it would have been all over the news quicker than that picture of a duckling cuddling a kitten.
Oh man, did you see that though? It was the cutest thing I'd ever seen.
But that's not what we're talking about right now.
No, it's not.
Liv, you are so lucky I was there for you As always.
Maddie, I know you think it's your job to protect me.
But you've got to stop.
I mean, you tried to make Ocean my friend, you tried to protect me from Kylie, and just now you took the wrap for me.
Now just because you were right in every single one of those instances does not mean you know what's best for me.
Well, if it makes you feel any better, mom benched me from the Ravens game tonight.
What? She benched you? Wait, what does "benched" mean again? It means I'm not allowed to play.
That's what I thought.
And there's no way that's happening, because this game is way too important to you.
By the way, there is a pretzel from the Mall on your desk.
It seemed more generous at the time.
Well, you survived your first dinner rush, my man.
You made the carrot proud.
What do you say we scrub up and head over to the carousel? It's a great way to end the day and to meet single moms.
Thanks, but I've already got one more mom than I really need.
I will just grab my phone and get out of here.
Where did that little stinker go? I'll just use the land-line to call it.
No! No! No! No no! No! The Z-Phone 620Q.
It's ruined.
Counter life's not for you.
Back to the muck bucket.
Can I at least keep the cape? That's a no-no, Jojo.
Rest in peace, Z-Phone.
Rest in peace.
I bet somewhere up there furry little Templeton, is running around on his wheel and playing with you right now.
We're going to get crushed without Maddie.
I don't even know why we're going to this Ravens game.
Well, you are still the Coach.
Wait.
Mom, Dad.
I have to tell you something.
I ditched school with my new ex-best friend Kylie, and she stole sunglasses.
Maddie had nothing to do with it.
She was just covering for me.
- No.
- Yes! That means Maddie can play.
Fine, but tell her she is still in trouble for lying.
Suit up, Maddie.
We've got some Ravens to beat! I don't like to brag, but we crushed the Ravens 54 to 38.
And I scored 21 of those.
Oh, I guess I do like to brag.
Oh, and best part of all of this? I'm banned from the Mall for six months.
Boom! What?! Yay! Let's go cheer on Maddie.
Go Porcupines! You are not going anywhere.
You can start the laundry while I call Kylie's parents.
Kiss the next two weeks of your life goodbye.
Oh, just so you know when you get to my undies, pre-soak, light starch, warm iron.
You're a peach.
Got some good news, munch.
I fixed your phone.
What? Are you kidding? Don't toy with my emotions like that.
No, really.
Once I scraped off the hummus I was able to save the battery and make a sandwich.
- Can I try it? - Sure.
Not the sandwich.
The phone.
Hello, beautiful.
Did you miss daddy? Only thing is in order to make it work, I had to make some modifications.
You gotta wear this.
Yeah, I'm not gonna wear that.
I'd look like a complete doof.
Do you want the phone to work or not? Okay, give me the helmet.
It's still not working.
Really? Because it's working for me.
And post.