Long Way Round (2004) s01e04 Episode Script

Got sun on my face
Sleeping rough on the road
I'll tell you all about it
When I get home
Coming round to meet you
The long way round
We're gonna ride 20,000 miles in 115 days through 12 countries.
Europe, Kazakhstan and Mongolia.
And then ride the Road of Bones in Far Eastern Russia.
Then we're gonna fly to Alaska
and go through Canada, America and New York.
We're gonna give these guys video cameras.
They'll have cameras on their motorcycles.
They will have cameras on their helmets.
And mics in their helmets.
-I feel like a fighter pilot. -I'm dropping bombs now.
We're having a third motorcycle travel with them.
On that third motorcycle will be a cameraman.
In addition, there will be two support vehicles.
We will travel around the world as well, linking up with the guys at borders.
But really, the motorcycles will be on their own.
Its landscape changed,
and then it started to look a bit what I might imagine Kazakhstan to be like.
And I suddenly realized I was in the dream that I've been having of this trip.
I'm on it. I'm in it.
Innit? Not me.
You know, we have set ourselves only two weeks to go through Kazakhstan,
which is a very big country.
But, you know, that's part of the trip. So, you just gotta roll with the punches.
We want to respect your opinions, what you want first.
And we'll try to make sure you meet your own aspirations
to have it real, what you want
-Yeah. -Yes.
rather than we impose on you.
-Yes. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Moving into Kazakhstan
should be the start of that wonderful section of complete freedom.
And I can't wait to get in there and just ride around and see what we see.
We're going to the Kaz. Deep, deep in the Kaz.
And it's amazing. All the faces are changing.
How does it know to change?
How does it know it's meant to look like Kazakhstan?
-It's camel's milk. -Oh, camel's milk.
Here am I in Kazakhstan. I've drunk camel's milk.
Is this the fermented stuff? No.
Yes, it is.
It is? Okay.
A bit like-- It was just like
slightly old natural yogurt with-- carbonated.
-I know. It was-- -Wasn't it?
It was a struggle, huh? Thank God for the bread is all I have to say.
'Cause I could, you know, take a sip and take a bit of bread.
But I'm sure we'll get used to it.
It was fine. I think it was all right.
I think we have to. I think it's one of the things they give.
Was that camel's or horse?
-Camel's. Right. -Camel's.
Better than camel spit, I suppose.
We just had the most fantastic reception
from the Kazakhstan people and the mayor of Kazakhstan.
We are here, and we have done it. And we're in Kazakhstan.
And I find that just unbelievable.
We're in Kazakhstan!
Fantastic.
Kazakhstan's a very new country.
It's had its independence only for 12 years.
And a lot of its wealth is in the Caspian Sea.
So we thought it would be worthy of a trip, you know.
We went on this very old, sort of--
Looked like a warship that's been converted into a passenger ship.
We've just been asked to go down and steer the ship.
So, that's an opportunity that can't be missed.
I had to steer a barge in a movie I made called Young Adam.
And I always found it very difficult to make it go in a straight line.
-I'd turn, and then I'd-- -Oh, right.
I'd end up in this mad zigzag, you know?
I've always felt at home on boats.
Feel a bit seasick. He's been going a bit like that, you know?
-Yeah. -Fishing.
-With nets. -Oh, there's a--
Everybody fishes sturgeon on speedboats. And nets.
And there's a lot of poaching that goes on there as well, apparently.
We're gonna really rough it today.
This is how the fishermen eat every day.
-Yes. -Oh, look, caviar.
Oh, look at that. This is what the Caspian Sea is all about.
Yeah, please. That looks good.
You just--
It's decadent eating it with your fingers.
This is regarded as the best caviar.
Madonna. They said they were supplying some caviar for Madonna.
Well, if it's good enough for Madonna
-So -it's good enough for us.
does he have a card?
We can ring him and he can send us stuff when we want it?
I'm sorry, Madonna. There isn't any more caviar because Ewan's got it all.
It was nice to have a rest, collect ourselves.
And it's important that we have a rest today
because tomorrow we really bite into the off-road stuff, you know.
There's no-- Tarmac is now a thing of the past, you know.
Look at these roads, man.
Two hundred miles a day.
If it's like this, Jesus.
The first roads we hit were these crap roads.
You know, one of those big potholes and you hit that,
and the front wheels will disintegrate.
And I just thought, "My God, if this is things to come,
it's just gonna be a nightmare."
They're incredibly hard work.
And we've got an awful lot of this to come.
Like weeks and weeks.
Holy shit. Look at this coming up.
Since we got into Kazakhstan, really,
I've been feeling quite nervous. I've been feeling a little scared.
The possibilities of falling off are much greater,
and therefore the possibilities of damaging the bike
or something are greater.
But
I think it's gonna be pretty hard going.
I think it'll be really hard going.
Here we go. Rozzers.
It would only be a question of time.
We're in a bit of a predicament, because we want to push on on our own,
and this policeman won't let us go.
He's saying no, we have to wait. So
There they are over my shoulder there.
This could all be because we were speeding, maybe. I don't know.
What can I do?
This man seems a nice, sort of, big cuddly bear, doesn't he?
We can go? Goodbye.
Bye! Goodbye!
Stand aside there, you.
Stand aside. We're coming through.
We're British, don't you know?
The one thing that we've had to deal with a lot here is the police.
I guess through the authorities, they've sent out instructions
to all of the police in all the regions that we pass through
to give us police escorts all the way.
I think they're terrified that something terrible is gonna happen to us
while we're in this country.
It just went on and on and on and on,
just policeman after policeman.
Just getting stopped again and again and again.
And, you know, it's just so tiring.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
-Godspeed. -Thank you. Thank you.
-Thank you. -That is just
But it was lovely when you meet the people,
and they want to give you presents and say congratulations and well done.
But you kind of feel that they're sort of doing it 'cause they have to
and they've been told to do it.
And it just makes you feel that you're going through some sort of parade.
We want to give you our presents.
-Thank you so much. -Hold on. Hold on.
Hey, well done.
They will go to Aktobe with you.
They will go to where with us?
To Aktobe with us, where we're going.
Okay. We--
Can you say that we're very grateful?
And we thank you for your welcome?
And we thank you for your hospitality, but we would prefer to ride alone.
It's very complicated, this.
The locals over my shoulder display such hospitality, and
everyone wants to give us escorts and police escorts.
And it's just getting really
This was not the plan. It's been overplanned, this.
We wanted to pass through this country and experience it.
It's a shame. I'm finding it a bit of a pity.
I was really getting back into the whole feel of everything.
And then we came across our sort of first proper camel,
and it was in the middle of the road.
So we stopped and we did a sort of David Attenborough type thing.
Behind me here
Okay. Okay, love.
And then we got Claudio to take a photo.
And he put the video camera down, and he was just lining up the shot
when this white Lada came up with four guys in it.
-Oh, that's awful. -What happened?
This Lada pulled up and stopped.
And you had the camera on the ground, looked at the camera.
And then the guy in the back seat pulled out a handgun and was like that.
And pointed it straight at us.
I could feel the blood draining. I might have--
And I was thinking, "Oh. Oh, no."
See, if they came right now--
Look. There's absolutely nothing that way, absolutely nothing that way.
I wonder what the story would have been had there not been other cars passing by?
That's what I wonder.
After that, I was really quite shaken.
I mean, we were all a bit, sort of, stunned by what had happened.
And I could still see his face.
They've got lots of gold teeth in this country, you know, like caps.
And he had a whole, like, string of gold teeth.
And with this fucking menacing gun, looking at us.
And he had a real menacing face. I was really quite shocked by that.
Take us home, rozzer.
Police were waiting for us in the lay-by,
but this time we had more insight
as to why they might be wanting to escort us through the country.
But it's still-- it's not what we planned.
Oh, my God. It's the telly.
-TV cameras -Tell me what's happening.
We've arrived just outside the town we're going to.
And we've been riding it for a long time today on incredibly difficult roads.
But now we've been told to stay in this lay-by by people we don't know.
And there's TV cameras, and I don't know what's going on.
It's not what we've had in mind at all.
And I just don't know if the rest of Kazakhstan's gonna be like this.
I really hope not.
We were very kindly offered a place to stay
in this policeman's house.
I have to say, never has a floor looked more appealing, eh?
God, I'm so tired.
That's just our first day off-road.
And that wasn't really off-road. That was just bad roads.
Maybe bad roads are worse than off-road.
Should we say they are? Yeah. Bad roads are worse than off-roads.
You know?
Charley.
We were trying to explain to them what we were doing
and why we were there.
When I looked over, and on the television there was Ewan, myself and Claudio
explaining what we were doing in Kazakhstan.
Claudio!
It made us far more high-profile
than we'd ever hoped to be in that country, you know?
It meant everywhere we're going,
we're meeting people that know who we are and what we're up to.
Does my bum look big in this?
Charley, is the helicopter waiting outside to take us to the Ritz?
-Yeah. -Good.
Either you or Claudio need to spin round.
So I'm sleeping next to your feet?
-It's either my feet or snoring. -Snoring.
-I'll take the feet, actually. -I thought so.
Can you bring me some smelling salts or something
because of Charley's feet?
Know what I mean?
-Good night. Good night, John boy. -Good night, Grandma.
We were bamboozled by this policeman
to be escorted at this football stadium
where there must have been about 25-30 press there.
Okay. Well, we have to go, so
Would you?
This is madness. This is not what we wanted at all.
I mean, it's just gone completely out of hand now.
Totally out of hand.
Just, you know, extraordinary.
What is the most interesting country in your opinion?
I think there's three right from the word go when we started planning the trip.
The idea of crossing Kazakhstan, Mongolia
-Mongolia. -and Siberia.
He is asking about your plans.
If you don't have anything in plans for the next two hours,
maybe we'll go and have some lunch.
No, we need to push on, unfortunately,
because we have a very tight schedule of
So, unfortunately--
On the one hand, you can-- You know, it's lovely that people are excited we're here.
And that's-- You know, the generosity is very welcome.
But when it's an organized media event like this
you just feel a bit kind of used because it's not
'Cause we weren't asked, "Would you like to come and do a bunch of interviews?"
And
Well, no, not really. That's why we're here, riding our bikes.
We managed to sort of slip everybody, the police and all sorts of people.
It was really nice just to get away.
It's funny how the potato has seemed to have gone into every country.
Who was it who brought it back from America?
-Can't remember. -Was it Bob Potato?
You know, how Wellington was named after a man called Wellington.
So potato must've been named after somebody called Mr. Potato.
So this is our first camp in the Kaz.
We should have camped before now, really, so tonight's the night.
What a spot. What a view.
I love camping. I just-- I like the ease of it.
And to be able to ride along, and when you're tired go,
"Well, look. Let's call it a day, and just--
Where are we gonna sleep? Well, anywhere. Let's go sleep over there."
It's a fantastic feeling.
Charley's what we call a reluctant camper, I think.
Look, the face of happiness.
Just think there's gonna be some baddies creeping up behind us.
I was just against the camping thing.
And there was loads of holes in the ground and I really thought snakes.
And there's spiders, and there's mosquitoes.
And then we're so close to the road
that someone's gonna come and steal the bikes and stuff.
It's good to have kind of shaken free, you know?
Shaken loose.
And we're really, really out there in the middle of the plains of Kazakhstan.
That's it. Yeah.
Well, there's one chicken casserole, two chicken casseroles.
And there's one stew with dumplings.
Yum.
It is beautiful. It's amazing how far we've come, actually,
when you consider that we're deep in Kazakhstan.
The middle of absolutely nowhere.
Had a blast today.
But I'm very worried about this next bit of road,
you know, this 20-mile stretch.
That's meant to be really, really bad. The worst we've seen yet.
How could it get worse when you can't actually drive on the road?
Yeah.
Look, look. The sun is-- It's literally going. Look.
If you look over there, you'll just see the last sliver, and it's gonna go.
Well, we slept like logs last night.
-Really did. -Charley was asleep in seconds.
-Did I snore last night at all? -No, only in the morning.
-It's just-- -I think I'm a morning snorer, amn't I?
You're a first-- You're a straight-off-the-bat snorer.
Yeah. Just in the morning, you seem to end up on your back.
-I had to give you a poke this morning. -Did you?
Yeah. But you just went--
I wondered what that small thing up my bum was this morning.
I didn't realize it was you giving me a poke.
I'm interested to know about her experience
in learning to climb for the first time.
And how it's changed her.
The main problem here is
children very often have nothing to do in the evening time
and these classes, they keep them occupied.
We should probably go and have a look at the wall.
Yeah, we'd love to see you climb.
It would be fantastic.
This is one of the schools that UNICEF has put a climbing wall in.
They're helping children who are vulnerable,
children like those in this area who are migrants.
They're living in very low-income families.
And children just don't have the opportunity to do activities like this.
They build their relationship skills.
They work in teams so they can communicate.
UNICEF are in all these hundred-and-something countries,
and they're in these countries for life.
You know, it's not just for a disaster.
And the stuff they do always bring a lump to my throat, actually,
when I think about UNICEF and what they do.
Congratulations on your second prize.
-That's fantastic. -Thank you.
I was amazed watching the kids going up the wall.
They were so quick.
Really good for the kids and really good for the community.
And it's really tidied everything up, 'cause they've got a passion now.
They've got something to do, you know?
You're looking at the winner, and you're looking at the loser.
We'll see about that winner-loser thing in a minute, won't we?
Ewan!
Ewan!
Ewan! Charley! Ewan! Charley! Ewan! Charley!
Oh, no!
We praise the teachers,
'cause the teachers have done such a fantastic job
on teaching you guys how to do it.
But especially the kids, because you guys are fantastic.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Fantastic.
I got caught in a massive patch of deep gravel back there
and I had a real wobble.
I thought I was coming off. I really did.
We seem to just have sand and gravel on offer.
Morning, guys.
All right. You can do it.
Go, go, go!
I don't know how we're gonna get through there.
Okay, I'll go.
I can tell you that today has been
the most difficult of roads I've ever come across in my life.
Come on, Claudio, up you go.
You know, if you planted explosives there,
you still couldn't destroy it as much as the road is destroyed.
I mean, it is just incredible. It goes beyond belief, really.
It's quite extraordinary.
Slippy there.
Claudio's down.
These fucking roads. Jesus.
If they're like this, it's gonna take us a very, very long time.
'Cause the mud is just so sticky and so slippy.
Are you okay?
Look at this place.
It is kind of exhausting us.
We've only done 38 miles, and already I feel like we've done a day's riding.
The worst part about falling off is the hassle of getting up.
And I tried to pick my bike up, but there's just no way.
There's no way to pick it up. It's too heavy.
I tried very hard to pick this up on my own.
And I thought, I can either break my back, or I could just wait for help to arrive.
-One, two-- -Hold on.
Physically, the roads can't get much worse because you can't--
wouldn't be able to even drive on them.
All day I've thought that this mole on my forehead here--
It's been sore, and I thought I got too much sun on it.
I thought I had
skin cancer on my mole, and I had a bit of a panic.
And then Charley had a look
and then noticed that just underneath is a little dot.
And it's a spot or--
It's just a nasty beast. Black widow bite.
I think I got bitten by a black widow. I'm just too tough to feel the pain.
Look, I've got some sterile wipes. I can, you know.
Actually, it's casting a shadow. Is it casting a--
When you look--
My legs are shaky from standing up on the pegs today.
Scary this morning.
I'm sure that's why I'm so tired. 'Cause I was scared a lot this morning.
On the gravel and on the sand.
First part of the morning took me right back to being in Wales
when I got really despondent.
I had that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach
that I wasn't gonna be able to cut it.
Because
it was deep gravel, and my front wheel started banging from left to right,
and I just thought I was coming off.
Mentally, I went a bit kind of down.
And today it's just been like a roller coaster
in terms of the roads and in terms of my head.
It's been up and down and up and down.
All over the place.
Ewan does come across-- He does sometimes get these ups and downs.
I think we all do.
But I think his troughs are a bit deep-- a bit lower than others.
I mean, you know, this is the stuff that you look back and enjoy.
But God, it's just hard work while you're doing it.
It looks a little bit like maybe the tarmac starts in a minute.
Here it is!
It was really hard work. I mean, physically, it was really hard.
But when we got to the end of that bad stretch of road,
it was a huge sense of achievement. I mean, it was like a--
It was like a mini adventure in the middle of this big adventure.
Twenty-five years ago, they stopped one of the main rivers
to bring it down to one of their neighboring countries, which was Russia,
to grow cotton.
And cotton needs lots of water.
And as a consequent, the sea started going back.
This is where the sea used to be. You can see all around here is where the--
This was the port. This is where the shipyards--
And they used to build ships here, and they used to
Look. You can imagine fisheries and stuff like that over there.
And it's just gone. It's so weird, 'cause it is like a seafront.
This is like-- almost like the promenade all around here.
And you see all the old ships that are just left lying in the sand, rusting away.
Suppose that was quite a long time ago, 25 years.
It's just incredible, the effect that, look,
what mankind has had on this area.
Not only have we-- have they buggered it up for the people that lived in this town,
who are now left with no industry,
but also, imagine the fish life, the marine life that would've gone.
But it also shows you what effect you can have--
what effect man can have on the environment.
How easy it is to block a couple of rivers and do this amount of damage.
There were small villages, communities. And they've had to completely diversify.
And their boat is just sitting beside their house on the seafloor.
Seabed.
-The seashells. -The seashore.
A little bit at a time.
Don't do it, 'cause this will happen all the time.
I ended up with petrol in my eye again.
And this time, down my ear.
My tank was full and it just went--
-It didn't stop again. -It doesn't stop. They don't stop.
So, yeah, it happened to Ewan again, which is, you know, so unfortunate.
And it was like a gush of--
He was sitting on the bike, filling, and the water just--
The petrol just gushed up, straight up all over him.
I think Ewan's had a pretty rough couple of days.
Fifteen minutes I've been speaking to my camera on pause.
Fuck it.
A mosquito bite has made my face swell up, so I look a bit like Manimal.
I can't really-- You can't really see properly on this camera,
but I'll give you a profile.
Here.
Then I give you the other profile.
There.
And now right there.
You can see that all of this has swollen up.
And my arm has swollen here, and massive swelling round there.
I've lost all my definition, you know?
It's been hard. It's hard.
And it'll be hopefully less hard where we can actually stop and meet people.
In London,
we researched this incredible mausoleum in Kazakhstan.
So we arranged for this English-speaking guide to take us around.
It's quite spectacular, isn't it?
It's amazing. I feel like we're in Istanbul or something suddenly.
We visited a beautiful old 14th century mausoleum
that had been built to commemorate a great
Here's where I've realized I wasn't listening properly.
It was built to commemorate--
It was built in honor of a very holy person, I imagine,
who lived in the 12th century.
There was a real tranquil calm in there. I loved it.
Can't tell you my wish. I'm sorry.
So serene, so peaceful, so stunningly simple and beautiful.
And all these old mosaics.
It very much reminds me of Morocco or Tangier or something like that.
It's that kind of architecture.
It's on the Silk Road.
So, it makes total sense as to why there was--
there's such a Moroccan and Arab sort of feel to the whole place,
'cause of the Silk Road.
I was chatting to the girl who was showing us around,
and I realized that I'm no longer aware of what we're doing.
I'm not thinking about
London to New York.
I'm not thinking about Kazakhstan to Russia.
I'm not thinking about Russia to Mongolia, I'm not.
I'm just sitting on the bike and riding along.
And I'm meeting people that I meet.
I was doing it really well before you got the camera out there.
-Goodbye. -You've been very kind.
Thank you for helping me with my Kazakh.
Goodbye.
To begin with, I was having a bit of joy.
"Peace be upon you" is a nice one, isn't it?
And then there's another one which is "May peace be upon you."
Well, this is us roughing it in Kazakhstan.
Out here in the Kaz.
Oh, it's tough. I'll tell ya.
The wind in your hair, the dust, the sand.
The snakes, the spiders.
Graham in a hotel in Atyrau
was telling us to be careful of what we eat
because some of it is horse penis.
And he said it was, like, cut and quite fatty around the outside.
But it was cut like that.
That may well be
the sliced horse member.
Here it is, there. You can eat it.
They've just come in now, so we should stop playing.
Oh, we should put it back into--
I've dropped--
I've dropped the penis.
It's just horse meat which has been made into a sausage, basically,
with a bit of fat in it.
I did notice there was a little vein in the middle, though.
And it did get slightly bigger when you picked it up in your fingers, didn't it?
Swelled a bit.
It certainly looks bigger than on the plate.
Oh, my God, it's fabulous today. I have to say the ups--
Hey, Mac. You don't have the ups without the downs.
I'm really just right in the trip now. I'm not
I'm not thinking about it, worrying about it, planning it.
I'm not anxious about time or petrol or--
All I'm doing is looking out for potholes.
That's my only worry.
We ended up driving to this amazing arena.
And they had this whole team lined up on the field and all these guys on horseback.
And they gave us a demonstration of goat polo, which was fucking amazing.
This is just complete madness. It's amazing.
The skill of these guys was just fantastic.
And they had demonstrated the game
where the guy has to chase the girl.
She gets a head start on her horse, and they take off.
And he has to catch up with her and kiss her while they're riding along.
He didn't get her.
I was just struck. Suddenly it was such a spectacle.
And it was so lovely, and it--
It so demonstrated a really important part of the Kazakhstan culture.
It was phenomenal to see. It was quite brilliant to watch.
And these guys are so hard, you know.
They're real, hard, rough lads on these incredibly tough little horses.
-You and I will go up there and come back. -Okay.
-Ready? -You wanna try to catch a girl?
Go on.
We're galloping along together, side by side.
It was just wonderful.
I looked over and I saw my mate Charley there, and it was a brilliant moment.
It was a brilliant, brilliant moment that I'll never forget.
Okay, this horse is very tired.
Nice to get back on the saddle. I love a good, sort of feisty animal.
That was mad.
Thank you very much.
All the people there were so enthusiastic.
And they were so pleased that we were there showing Kazakhstan.
And they said that they felt that we were sort of ambassadors for Kazakhstan.
That we were, you know, showing people what Kazakhstan was all about.
And I must say, I really have kind of fallen in love
with Kazakhstan and the people.
After the grueling and punishing roads of Kazakhstan,
one of the locals told us that we should relax
in this very famous spa in Almaty.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
These two guys turned up in little Speedo trunks,
huge sumo wrestlers, and told us to lie down.
And they then proceeded to just beat the living daylights out of us.
I mean, you could not call it a massage. It was a pummeling.
I mean, it was just horrific.
Oh, that hurts, doesn't it?
I've never ever felt more pain and discomfort in all my life
as that spa. I never.
The soap stung. They scrubbed the skin off your back.
And it was an entirely miserable and hot experience.
Just terrified of what's coming next.
Jeez.
I really feel this is where I belong.
To be on this bike, to be seeing what I'm seeing
and meeting the people I'm meeting.
I feel like I absolutely belong in this moment now.
It's where I should be. And luckily, it's where I find myself.
We ended up with the police again.
They did do one handy thing, however,
was to show us where the road to the canyon was.
Otherwise, I think we would've probably missed it.
Charyn Canyon.
Friendly neighborhood coppers. See? Rozzers.
One of the places that seemed incredibly important to go and see
was Charyn Canyon.
And everybody says
that it's a slightly smaller version of the Grand Canyon in America.
And seeing as I've never seen the Grand Canyon in America,
I particularly wanted to go and see the canyon in Kazakhstan.
We made a huge mistake,
'cause it was extraordinarily steep and difficult road down into the canyon,
which then we had to ride back up because there was no way out of the canyon.
Halle-fucking-lujah.
The moral of the story is,
you know, don't go down a road that you don't have to.
And especially one that looks like that.
It was beautiful driving down the canyon.
I mean, just stunning driving down the canyon.
And so I suppose for that it was worth it.
But for the trip back up, my, fuck me, was it not worth it.
Actually, I'm not supposed to use so many words like that.
One of the things we always talked about
was going to a real gold mine.
And we were lucky enough to visit one in Kazakhstan.
Okay. Okay.
They showed us what they had
and explained how the whole thing went.
And they showed us how the production went.
'Cause what they do, it's not chunks of gold.
They take out huge amounts of material.
And then they grind it down and then process it.
And then they basically just pan for gold like they used to in the old Gold Rush.
The process really hasn't changed much. It's become a production line.
But it hasn't really changed from the beginning.
-See the gold? -Yes, yes, yes.
Okay.
Look, I've got it in here. Look.
Don't tell anyone.
Here we are at the Singing Dunes.
We should be wearing shorts and a Hawaiian T-shirt, really.
God, it's beautiful.
How does that whatchamacallit music go?
Lawrence of Arabia?
A quarter to 10:00.
I feel fine. I mean, this is just like some kind of weird video game
when you're riding at night avoiding holes,
or not, as the case may be.
We've ridden 470 miles. And we--
Our good old friends the rozzers picked us up.
We were too tired to argue.
Let's go.
What happened was, we stupidly agreed to have a police escort
in the last bit because it was so dark.
Typical. The police took us straight to the town square
where they'd hurriedly laid on this entertainment.
It was all very nice, and we sort of went with it,
but we were so tired.
-You will go there. -Yeah.
We're going to a policeman's house for something to eat
and then we're sleeping there, I believe.
Let's hope for the best.
Yeah well, we just have to go with it at this point.
I'm completely used to now just turning up and someone going, "This way,"
and you follow them.
And you go, "Hello. I don't know who you are, but where do I sleep?"
Whereas before it was a bit freaky, now it's just the run of the mill.
It's an everyday occurrence in this trip.
What's the latest state of the game?
Well, I don't know. I think we're staying here, but I'm not sure where.
We've no idea. I don't--
I think everyone else seems to have as little clue
-about what's happening as we do. -This is your room.
-Okay, brilliant. Thank you. -Thank you very much.
-Thank you. -Thank you.
It was all really confusing, and it was just really bizarre.
Were we meant to eat-- sleep here? Or were we meant to just eat here, or--
No one seems to know what's going on.
Then we went and had dinner.
We had this traditional dinner, which was fantastic.
Typical Kazakh food that we've been having all the way through.
You are welcome to my brother's house.
He is my brother. My husband's brother.
-Please, you are very hungry. Eat. -Thank you. Thank you.
Landed on our feet again, eh?
-Look at that. -Wow.
What do you-- I don't know what to do.
We didn't make it out of Kazakhstan without the sheep's head.
I thought we might make it out.
It just didn't look very nice.
A kind of black sheep's head staring at you off the plate.
It was sort of a gray-black. They'd obviously skinned it.
And it was just this gray-black sort of mush that was on it.
It was all right, though. It didn't taste too bad.
It was just like meat.
It's our last night in Kazakhstan.
Cheers.
The people we've met along the way have been just friendly
and interested in what we're doing, and interested in us knowing about them.
And I really like that. I've really loved that.
Goodbye, everybody.
I am very happy.
It's been kind of a constant battle
to escape the police in a weird way.
Not to escape them because we've done something wrong,
but to just escape the kind of babysitting.
But it's not the policemen's fault,
because they're just doing what they're told.
They're following orders.
I'll be sad to leave Kazakhstan.
I'm having such a lovely time here. It's a really beautiful country.
And fantastic people.
And the landscape's beautiful, and there's camels and wildlife.
The people are gorgeous people here.
I'm so fond of them. They're really hospitable and excited.
And the kids' faces-- you can't believe what they're seeing.
The three of us on these bikes. They can't believe what they're seeing.
I've got this little bit of a funny feeling.
Maybe everyone gets it when you're just about to cross into another country,
that sort of anticipation of what comes next.
I suppose that's part of the whole travel thing.
I'm sad to leave Kazakhstan. It was absolutely gorgeous.
But I'm very excited to get into Mongolia. I really am.