Love Life (2020) s01e04 Episode Script

[female narrator] Since her night
with Danny Two Phones,
Darby had remained
uncharacteristically casual
Isn't it crazy that we heard him come?
Yeah, it was like
he was whimpering like a pigeon.
[imitates pigeon cooing]
[narrator] hoping that
a series of fleeting connections
could free her from the burden
of wanting something more.
Yo, that guy's been here a lot.
She should give him, like, a punch card.
[Sara speaking indistinctly]
- [Sara] Morning.
- Morning.
- Can we get in on that?
- [Sara] Yeah.
[narrator] But then came Magnus Lund,
a young chef
who always jumped in with both feet.
- Morning.
- Good morning.
[narrator] Here at last was a person
with whom Darby didn't have to play games,
for he was every bit
the zero-to-60 freak that she was.
[bees buzzing]
[narrator] Like Darby, Magnus had moved
to New York to reinvent himself.
He went to art school,
acting school, and culinary school,
committed to maximizing his potential.
It excited Darby
to think of her and Magnus
as the next New York City power couple.
[exhales]
[indistinct conversation, laughter]
Order up.
- [Darby] An empty plate.
- [Sara] Mmm.
- [Mallory] Oh, my God.
- How beautiful is this?
Darby, your relationship
is making my pants tight.
You don't have to
order everything on the menu.
He's got a great beard.
I'll tell you that much.
That's a whole lot of man.
Oh, baby, do you want
to grow out that little peach fuzz?
- I'm gonna break my no-pork rule.
- Since when do you not eat pork?
Since I saw this video
of a pig named Mudslinger
who could dribble a soccer ball
through three cones,
score a goal, and then he takes a bow.
- Have you tried the honeycomb?
- Mmm-hmm.
Magnus grows it in his urban beehive.
Technically, he's a sous chef,
but he created half the menu.
- She is smitten. [squeals]
- [Darby] Shut up.
- Shut up.
- [Sara] She's a smitten kitten.
Twenty more minutes, and I'm done.
- Do you want any help?
- No, thank you.
Oh, good,
it's a 1:00 a.m. email from Naomi.
I wonder how drunk she is.
It's so weird, every time I talk to her,
I can't tell if she's kidding or serious.
She hates me,
but wants me to be her assistant forever.
There's an open position in Antiquities,
- and I don't think she put in a good word.
- Why would she?
If you leave,
the Maritime Paintings department
would crumble,
and everybody in the auction house
would know how much of a psycho she is.
You bring her a plate of fries
every morning.
- Not normal.
- It's not normal.
- Yeah, fuck Naomi.
- Okay.
I'm gonna go in there tomorrow
and tell her that, first thing.
You won't because you're too good,
and you're too nice.
You can't let people
take advantage of you, Darb.
Okay. I got it.
- Fuck Naomi.
- Fuck Naomi.
- My place or yours?
- Um, I have work in the morning,
and I don't have
clean underwear at your place.
Okay, argument for my place
I don't have any roommates,
and we can fuck in every room.
Oh, my God.
Okay, fine. Let's go.
[woman speaking indistinctly]
Thank you. I'm fucking starving.
Anything else I can get you?
No, but there's some shit on your desk.
Oh, my God.
Oh.
[Naomi] Darby,
this is way too much sriracha.
[Magnus] Wait. How much was it again?
1.2.
- For a painting of a boat?
- I know.
Not even a remarkable boat.
Just a run-of-the-mill frigate.
Where do you guys have a oven mitt?
Uh, oven mitts.
Yeah, I know we have one somewhere.
I know we do.
- Oh!
- [clattering]
- Fuck!
- Baby.
- Oh, fuck.
- Fuck.
- Shit.
- Hey, hey.
- Hey, let me see.
- It's fine.
- No, let me see. Hey.
- It's not a big deal. It's fine.
- Let me run it under water.
- It's hot in here.
- I know.
- Why's the radiator on?
- It's the fall, right?
- Yeah.
I'm sorry. That was out of Yeah.
- I just had a shit day at work.
- Yeah.
Chip didn't like my tasting menu.
I know that he's a philistine,
- so who cares, but
- But fuck Chip.
I know. I was just, like, proud of it.
Yeah.
We should get out of town for the weekend.
Don't you have to work?
I'm not feeling very good.
I feel like I could call in sick.
Oh, really?
Maybe my mental health isn't okay.
- Oh, really?
- And, like, I need you to cure me.
Well, whatever you need.
- [Magnus] So if you look to your right
- [Darby] Uh-huh.
those are actually trees.
[chuckles]
- Oh, my God. You're so smart.
- I know.
[Darby] I'm kind of grossed out
'cause everything's so cute.
Like a slightly Stepford-wife level.
Like, everything's too perfect.
I'm so sorry.
I think, like, just pay her the money.
It's a good It looks really cool.
It's rude if you don't haggle.
- That's not true. That's not true.
- Okay, $13.
Babe, just give her the $20.
You'll put it somewhere.
It's cute. You'll be proud of it.
You're lucky I brought her.
So, truffles aren't normally
growing in this area.
- Yeah.
- However, I read on the forager Reddit
that they found some,
so let me show you what you do.
- When you find a root
- Uh-huh.
Okay.
Just lightly dust around the root.
okay, so it's like panning for gold,
but way grosser?
Exactly.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Did I find one?
Wow. Yeah.
I mean, you found a turd.
Oh, my God! Is that actually a turd?
[narrator] Suddenly,
Darby's life was like a painting,
a series of moments frozen in time,
as if she was watching herself
from the outside.
Oh, my God, it's like
I forgot how good, clean air smells.
This is my dream.
To live up here, to buy a piece of land.
Open up a farm-to-table situation.
Get a house, organic garden.
Organic pasture with cows, pigs, chickens.
I want a barn, in case the kids
want to learn how to ride horses.
- "The kids"?
- Yeah.
I was thinking five or six.
You think about that stuff?
Don't you?
Yes.
But not six. Like, two.
[softly] Five.
Three, maximum.
We have to be able to fit in a car.
Four.
- We'll buy a minivan.
- [chuckles]
- We're gonna stick together, right?
- Yes.
- My dreams are your dreams?
- Yes.
- Your dreams are my dreams?
- Yes.
[Darby] How do I have 31 emails
in 48 hours on a weekend?
[Magnus] All right, big shot.
Why don't we hold off on emails
till we're in the city?
I want to make sure that they know
that I'm 100% reliable.
Doesn't come back to bite me.
- Hey.
- Mmm.
You're not on the clock.
It's still our time.
I don't want this weekend to end.
I don't want to go back.
I don't want to go back to Naomi
and our stupid radiators
and going back and forth
between apartments.
[fusses]
What if we didn't have to go back?
Like, what if we lived here?
What?
I looked at Zillow.
It's like $100,000 to buy land here.
We could save that, no problem.
You're serious?
It's only a 90-minute commute.
[laughs]
Okay.
Well, hypothetically, yes,
I could get work done here.
I could have my own office up here.
Crazy idea: we move in together.
- Oh.
- [grunts]
What do you say?
What do you want to do
with all this mail, babe?
Ooh, it's old. I need to shred it.
- I'll take it.
- It looks important.
- Not important.
- [cell phone buzzing]
Oh, shit. It's gonna be work.
Fucking Debra. What?
Magnus! You better use these every day.
I don't care what the email says, Debra.
The shipping manifest says Halifax.
Dude, I friggin' love this movie.
I had no idea you were a cinephile.
- We should do movie nights.
- You know it.
Welcome home.
Stoked you're gonna be living with us
and paying 20% of the rent
on the 1st of every month.
- In cash.
- [Magnus] Cool. Sounds chill.
Yeah, I'm still here.
Gonna stay here until we get
this hideous painting to these people.
Okay, what's next?
Beehive.
Oh, really? You brought your bees?
Yeah. Co-op started charging rent.
I thought, "Bring 'em home."
- Yeah.
- So just the bees.
- Outside. Let's get 'em!
- Okay. Cool. Yeah.
I've lived here for years,
and she never visits.
The second Hunter's thinking about
film school, she's in New York.
I'm just warning you, she's a lot.
Well, I'm good with moms.
So after tonight, she might
want to visit every weekend.
That's not funny.
I don't want you to go that far, please.
- But I appreciate you.
- Oh!
Magnus, you've ruined my life.
Jim, get in here.
Please make him shave it off.
It's mangy, and it's grating my face
every time he kisses me.
- I think I look great.
- [Magnus] You do.
You're wrong.
You gotta let a beard blossom.
- Looks great.
- Thank you.
- Darby?
- I have nothing to do with this.
James, shave it off.
Please, stop.
I have never once told you how to look.
You are a bad influence.
You're such a bad influence.
Oh, Darby here had top and bottom braces
until she was 17.
Cost me a fortune.
You've got to see her graduation photos.
Got her mouth clamped shut.
She looks like Don Corleone.
I do. I don't need you to see that.
[Magnus] Sounds sexy.
- Hi, Magnus. How's it going?
- Hey, Tiffany. Good.
Are you all ready to order?
We are, but before we do that,
Claudia, Hunter, anything.
- Go crazy. It's on me.
- Oh, well, now, in that case
Thank you. Another glass of this.
Why don't we do a bottle of that?
"Radish foam"?
Don't you guys just have, like, a burger?
It's not that kind of place.
Order something off the menu.
You know, Magnus, would you order for us,
since you're the expert?
I would love to.
We'll do a hamachi carpaccio,
farfalle, braised duck,
short ribs, uh, cacio e pepe,
and can you see
if Carlos'll do a burger for my dude?
- [Tiffany] Sure.
- Yeah.
Thank you.
Oh, Magnus, I just have to say,
this place, "Mauve, Mauv-ay"
- How do you say it?
- It's Maeve.
Well, it's fabulous,
and I'm impressed with your gumption.
It takes a lot of courage
to be in the restaurant biz,
but I always told Darby,
"Find a man with hopes and dreams
who loves hard work."
I don't remember you saying that.
Actually, Darby had
a very exciting week at work.
That's true.
I'm up for a promotion
that would transfer me
from Maritime Painting to Antiquities.
Um, it's just down to me
and four other people.
- Four other people?
- Yeah.
I mean, out of 80 applicants. So
Well, I'm proud of you.
I always knew you had it in you somewhere.
Look what happens
when you begin to manifest?
Oh, speaking of which, did I tell you
who I sold a house to last week?
Five-bed, five-bath, home gym.
Kelly Osbourne.
[Magnus] Shut up.
"And Magnus, let me list
everything that I remodeled
on my house this year.
Here's a story about Darby's birthday
that's actually about
how I won a Realtor of the Year award,
and I sold a house to Kelly Osbourne,
and Kelly invited me to a barbecue."
Like, no one cares.
How did you make it without stabbing
a steak knife through your temple?
Easy. She's not my mom.
Are you sure I can't
pay you back for that dinner?
Oh, God, no. I got it.
[exhales]
Thank you for being so sweet
to my very lame family.
My mom obviously loved you.
Well, I can play mom defense anytime.
- Mmm. Yeah.
- The old back scratch?
- Yeah.
- And I see why she drives you crazy.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
She's like a magpie.
You know, the birds that
collect shiny things
like tinfoil and bracelets
and that wedding ring thing in England.
- What?
- It was a story.
It was a big news story.
It takes all these shiny things
into its nest,
and that is basically what your mom does.
She takes your childhood,
your career, your relationships,
and she makes them all about herself.
Fuck.
And the thing is
you're really fucking shiny.
And people are gonna want
to take that from you,
so watch your fucking back.
Okay.
[Sara gasps]
[whispering] Wow.
She's up!
[Darby] Yeah.
- Catching up on work emails.
- [Sara chuckles]
I'm doing a little online shopping
on the side.
I literally just went to four shows.
My feet are fucking killing me.
Are you missing Webster Hall?
I know.
Is it weird I'm an agent?
I'm a fucking suit.
You seem to be enjoying yourself, though.
I mean, somebody's got to make use
of all these free drink tickets.
Oh, my God.
- Do you want some?
- No! No.
I will I'll steal
a little of your beer, though.
Mmm. So good.
[Darby] Mmm.
- This is nice.
- It is nice.
- I've missed you, my wife.
- Aw.
You've been so busy touching butts
with Hozier in there,
I never see you anymore.
- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
Did
I don't know, this I sound so stupid.
- What?
- I just
I finally feel, like, really
Like, it feels really right.
It feels just Like, I'm excited.
I'm so jealous, you jerk.
You guys are, like, in the,
"Let's fuck in public
and send each other dirty pics" phase.
Yeah.
- I'm never gonna have that again.
- Oh, my God.
Yeah, that's hard.
You're in the most loving,
secure relationship.
No.
Jim, all he wants to do these days
is, like, catch up on work
or catch up on sleep.
He stopped eating carbs. He never drinks.
- Well
- He's no fun.
He was training for a marathon.
- I
- I don't know, man.
Sometimes he feels like
this tattoo I got when I was 18.
And it was so cool at the time.
Now it's, like, all faded,
and you can't really tell
what it is anymore.
I'm sorry. Fuck. I'm wasted.
Damn.
I don't mean that. I love Jim.
Yeah. You good?
- Mmm-hmm. Probably just PMS-ing.
- Okay.
I had to send my mom more money today.
- Shit.
- Blah, blah, blah.
- No, no. You're good.
- Do you want another beer?
No, I should do a little more work.
But do you want to keep hanging out?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Oh, God.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
- Want to come here, baby bird?
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
- Yeah, that feels so good.
- Yeah. My little rock star.
Darby, come with me.
You know I've always thought
of us as sisters, right?
I was kind of hurt
when I found out about your little plan.
Honestly, I felt betrayed.
Then I realized there comes a time
when the little baby bird
has to fly on her own,
so congratulations, baby bird.
Oh! Oh, my God.
- I got the job.
- Yeah.
- Congrats.
- Oh, thank you.
[Naomi] Mmm-hmm.
Baby! Baby, baby, baby.
Guess what. Guess what. Guess what.
Have you been drinking?
Um, yeah.
Are you okay?
Fine.
I mean, I got fired,
but you know, I'm fine.
What?
What happened? Why?
Oh, I guess I wasn't pulling my weight.
I guess I was doing my own thing.
I guess I was comping too many meals.
Hey, this isn't about that dinner
with my mom, right?
I genuinely wanted to pay for that.
Well, I think it's a little late for that.
Well, can you just talk to Chip? I
Yeah. Chip, can I talk to you?
No, I can't fucking No.
But believe me, he fucking owes me
thousands of dollars in back pay.
I'm gonna fucking get mine.
This is
This is very weird timing, but, um
I actually got that job,
which is great, 'cause I mean,
like, we don't have to worry
about money right now.
Just, like, while you're between gigs.
It's not It's not a problem.
Yeah. Wow. That's great.
I mean, it could be
kind of perfect for us,
'cause I don't know,
you could use this time
and, like, work on the plan for the farm,
and this extra money
will help us save and
Yeah, I know it's,
like, it's complicated, but it's
- My dreams are your dreams, right?
- [hurried footsteps]
[Sara] Excuse me!
Congratu-fucking-lations,
you fucking boss!
- Oh. [shrieks]
- I'm so proud of you!
It's a minor promotion.
It's really not a big deal.
- We gotta go out.
- Yeah.
Let's go to Maeve.
Let's go out,
but let's try somewhere else.
Come on. Come on.
[jazz music playing]
So, uh, Darby, are you making
a shit-ton more money now, or what?
Oh, my God. Don't be rude.
- But are you?
- Um, some.
- [Sara] Ooh.
- [Jim] Sick.
- Do you have your own office?
- Yes, I do.
Doesn't have a window,
but I have my own thermostat,
so good-bye Three Cardigan Darby.
[Sara and Jim] Fuck off,
Three Cardigan Darby.
Yeah. God.
Oh, and also, congratulations to me,
as I am now officially a homeowner.
[Sara] What?
I found out before dinner.
My aunt left me her house in Jersey.
I Is it worth anything?
I don't know, it's kind of run-down,
but it's got really good bones.
- Dude, you should flip it.
- Really? You think I could?
[Sara] Yeah, let's make some money.
Why didn't you tell me about this?
[Jim] I'm telling you now.
Hey, babe, you okay?
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Mmm.
Time to re-up.
- Yeah.
- [Magnus] Excuse me.
Do you mind if we get a bottle of Dom?
- Whoa!
- Um, isn't that a $300 bottle?
- Just one second.
- [Magnus] I know.
But we're celebrating.
Said you make more money now.
- [Sara] Okay.
- That's true.
Um, yeah, fuck it. A bottle of Dom it is.
[Sara] Oh, my God.
But why wouldn't she leave it
to any of your cousins?
I guess I'm the only one
that ever visited her.
I always sent flowers on her birthday.
Oh. Look at you playing that long game.
No, it wasn't that.
I liked Aunt Maura.
She had these crazy stories.
Plus, I lived with her for a while
during high school
while my parents were thinking about
relocating us to Israel for a hot minute.
I'm sorry, but why haven't you
told me any of this before?
- You never asked.
- [laughs]
I'm sorry I haven't said,
"Hey, Jim, tell me about that time
you almost moved to Israel."
I guess I'm just saying,
you don't show a lot of interest
in talking about our lives before we met.
We already know, like, everything
there is to know about each other.
- That's not true. That's not true.
- Yes, it is.
- There's a lot I'd love to know.
- Like what?
That crazy stuff with your mom.
I want to know about that stuff.
It's just depressing, Jim.
It's just like I don't
You want to see
how much this house is worth?
Oh. A million,
- two million, three million
- It's gonna be worth 90 grand.
- They're gonna be like I owe them money.
- What?
[Magnus] Right,
because when you hit the ball
- Hi, baby.
- a small amount are fair.
Oh, missed you.
But why is it so
Why does it take so long
for anything to happen?
Sports are usually a little bit more fun.
A lot of people get held up,
they're changing the rules.
[Jim] So it's meditative.
They're changing rules.
Shortening the distance between innings.
[Darby] Oh. Amazing.
Amazing. You guys are angels.
Everyone's worried this wouldn't get here.
I appreciate you.
We're just heading this way.
She keeps insisting that she did CC me
and telling everybody.
I've checked her outbox at this point,
and I have sympathy because I know that
That, like, you know, she feels trapped.
Like, she just feels bad about it,
and that's why she doesn't wanna
[grunts]
Okay.
[moans]
[exhales]
Can you hand me
a towel or something, babe?
Yeah.
Oh.
Yeah.
[scoffs softly]
- [cell phone chimes]
- [chuckles]
- Who's that from?
- Tiffany.
- Tiffany from Maeve?
- Yeah.
Isn't that kind of weird?
You don't work there anymore.
No. We're friends.
- [Darby] Hey.
- Dude.
Are you okay? Like, what's going on?
You've been acting weird
since you got fired.
- Yeah, maybe I'm fucking depressed.
- Okay.
I just feel like you're punishing me
for not being depressed.
Yeah. So it's about you then.
I get it. Yeah.
No. That's
I feel awful if you're depressed,
and I want to help, and there's just
There are good things happening in my life
and I want to enjoy them.
Fuck.
I fucking forgot that you're doing great,
that you're super-fucking-successful.
Magnus, what are you doing?
I'm not attacking you.
You want to be in a fight with me.
Maybe I want to feel important.
You are important.
You're so important to me.
Oh, yeah, of course I am,
so that I can go have drinks
with your friends,
hang out in your apartment
and hear about your day.
Then go out and find a job
and don't spend all day on the couch
drinking $14 beer.
They're ales.
- [cell phone chimes]
- [Darby scoffs]
- Please don't get that.
- Why?
- [cell phone chimes]
- I just I can't have friends now?
Of course you can have friends.
just not slutty waitresses
who text at midnight.
What if she understands
what I'm going through?
Then go nut on Tiffany's back
and spend her fucking money
and see if she likes it.
Good morning.
Why are you all dressed up?
I'm gonna get out there
and try and get a gig.
Oh.
That's great.
Fingers crossed.
Hey, Magnus.
Yeah?
You look really nice.
Thank you.
Hey, babe.
I'm just calling to check
how your day is going.
Wondering if you got any bites.
Um, I was gonna
pick up dinner or something,
so let me know if you're in the mood
for anything specific.
Um
Yeah. Just call me when you get a chance.
Okay, bye.
[sighs]
[exhales]
I've called everyone.
Nobody's heard from him.
I called the police,
but you have to be missing for three days.
His phone probably just died,
and I'm making something out of nothing.
Yeah, my phone dies all the time,
but I still remember where I live.
Yeah, I mean, if Jim went out
in the morning to "look for work"
and wasn't home by 2:00 a.m.,
he better not come home.
[scoffs]
You could just move in
with whoever you were fucking.
I literally didn't do anything,
but this is a curious hypothetical.
- Do you guys think he's fucking somebody?
- [Jim] No way. No.
Come on. That's not Mag's style.
Oh, my God. Maybe he's fucking Jim.
I mean, look, we all like Magnus,
but there's an element
of shadiness to him.
- You sense that, right?
- Yeah. I mean, he's very flirty,
and he's got all that
really scary looking mail.
And the beehive on the fire escape.
What happens if we have a fire?
Okay, but he's not shady.
He's going through something,
but before this,
he's been a model boyfriend.
Super-fun, so affectionate,
so great with my mom.
And I mean, right now, it does
feel like a whole other person.
Yeah, a shady person.
Okay, so [sighs] So what do I do?
[sighs]
Definitely break up with him.
Lots of people have
credit card debt, right?
I I don't know.
I don't know how crazy this is. I can't
Fifteen grand.
He bought a motorcycle with a credit card.
And I found this birthday card
from this woman named Heather.
Okay, the guy's not even allowed
to have a fucking birthday card?
- Jim, I'm saying I don't know, okay?
- [door opening]
- [door closes]
- [exhales]
Hi.
- Where have you been?
- Can we talk?
[Sara] Jim.
Where the fuck have you been, Magnus?
I went upstate.
I went to our field.
I had to clear my head.
Wearing that? You couldn't have texted me?
I was I've been terrified!
I had every intention
to get a job yesterday.
I fucking swear I did,
but I just felt so bad about myself.
Everything's been so fucked
since I got fired.
I fucked up.
I make fucking stupid choices.
I make horrible decisions, and for what?
Just so I could feel like a man?
And I'm sacrificing our dreams?
- Are you talking about the money?
- I went to a dark place, Darby.
- [whispering] What did he say?
- [shushes]
Then I realized
I can get this back on track.
Just give me a chance, please.
I can see the future, Darby, and it's you.
Holy shit. [sighs]
My dreams are your dreams.
Will you marry me?