Love on the Spectrum U.S. (2022) s01e04 Episode Script

I just want to say
that I enjoyed hanging out with you.
We had a great time.
Like, um, we first met and, um…
dating-wise,
I don't think we're… compatible.
-Can we still be friends, Soly?
-Are you serious?
So this means we're not gonna,
like, go out again or, like…
We can still go out again.
But you just told me
you're not looking for dating-wise,
and that just really hurts me.
I think you just need
to plan your future a little bit more.
I know it hurts, but…
It really hurts me. You know?
-Like, literally, we had such a good time.
-Of course we had a good time.
You shouldn't feel bad.
You shouldn't regret that.
My God.
Don't need to… It's all right.
-It's just, we had such a good time.
-Of course we did.
-You really liked me and--
-I do like you, but…
I mean, do you really like me, or are you
playing me? I just need to know--
I'm not playing!
I do like you as your friend.
So you like me as a friend,
so this whole time
you just basically led me on.
I…
It was a mistake to let me on,
but maybe if you find
somebody else, you know?
Maybe if I find somebody else?
It's a dating experience.
I understand, okay, but be honest with me.
-I thought you were that one that came--
I thought you were the one that came too.
I had that in my mind too.
It's just time to move on.
But stay strong, Soly.
Thank you for everything.
Of course. No problem.
-Bye.
-Bye.
How are you feeling now? You okay?
It's bittersweet.
Very bittersweet.
Yeah.
Experiences can be
so bittersweet that it's…
You had so much fun,
but it's time to move on.
You a bit upset?
Because I felt like I upset somebody.
I made somebody upset.
But it's okay.
These things can be hard.
And anyways, I have to get to work.
And when you go to work,
nobody wants to see a tear.
In Long Beach,
Subodh is having dinner
with Rachel on his first-ever date.
What type of animals do you like?
I love dogs.
I like water animals.
-Do you like water animals?
-Yeah, I love dolphins.
Oh, dolphins are so adorable.
They have a lot of them
at Discovery Cove in Orlando.
Is that your favorite animal, dolphins?
-I love dolphins.
-Yeah, I like that too. I love dogs also.
-Yeah.
-I have a dog.
-Yeah.
-Her name's Daisy Mae.
-Yeah.
-And she's very cute.
So cute.
Yeah.
Do you…
Do you like, um, dancing or anything?
I like dancing.
Oh, that's cool. I love to dance.
Yeah.
You have a secret dance move?
Yes.
Oh, nice. I love it.
So, I have our food right here.
Thank you.
Got our tacos.
-Thank you.
-Uh, thank you.
Of course.
Good.
This looks really good.
This looks so good.
You like the beach?
I love the beach.
What do you like to do on the beach?
Cool off with lots of water.
What about you?
Yeah, I like to sit on the sand
and go in the water.
Please excuse me. I'll be right back.
Okay. Go ahead.
-How's the date going, Subodh?
-Good.
Tell me,
what do you think about Rachel?
Uh, I… I like her so much.
The date's going great, by the way.
Subodh is really cool.
He's fun to talk to, you know,
because we both have a lot in common too.
-It's a nice sunset.
-Yeah.
-I'm just gonna leave this here.
-Okay. Thank you.
Do you like to split the bill?
It's up to you.
-I will pay for it.
-Okay.
-Sounds good.
-Yeah.
Thank you so much. That's so nice of you.
Yeah.
What are your dreams?
My dream is to meet somebody,
and I'm finally kind of meeting you
for the first time,
and I think you're really cool.
-Yeah.
-You know?
We both like traveling.
Yeah, we both like to travel. Yes, I do.
Do you want to buy
the round-the-world ticket?
Yeah, we can. Travel around the world.
Like, um, Italy, Hawaii.
I've never been to Hawaii before.
I went to Honolulu,
but I'm just gonna try a different city.
-Okay. I like Hawaii.
-I'll take this.
-Thank you.
-Thank you.
Yeah, of course.
Thank you so much.
-Thank you so much, Rachel.
-You're welcome.
-I know you love the dolphins.
-I like the dolphins.
There's a lot of dolphins in Hawaii.
I had a great time with you.
I had a great time too!
I know, right?
Would you like to see me again?
Of course, I would love to see you again.
Of course.
Okay, I'll give you a call
and I'll work it out
just to see if there's a confirmed date
for other plans.
-That'd be great. Definitely.
-Yeah.
Yeah.
It was fun. I'll see you later.
-Definitely we will, yes.
-Okay.
-Yes, definitely.
-Rachel.
-Bye, Subodh.
-Bye-bye.
So…
Super cool.
-Are you happy?
-Yes, I'm happy.
It was a success.
-I'm feeling good.
-Why?
-I think it went great.
-Yeah?
-I think the date went great, actually.
-Yeah.
He's really nice.
Yeah, and it sounds like you
planned for a second date.
I guess we're planning
for a second date. Yes, we are.
-That's cool.
-Yeah, it is really very cool.
I'm very happy.
It's what I always wanted,
actually.
How'd it go?
He's hurt.
He's like, I've been leading you on.
"You've been leading me on."
Leading me on.
He said that? Why does he feel that way?
Because he wants
to date me and everything.
He thought we were a perfect match, but
he hasn't really figured out
the real future, the real career.
Did you tell him that?
I… kind of did.
Oh dear.
Okay.
Just because we break up doesn't mean
we can't see each other again.
Well, you're not breaking up.
You were never boyfriend and girlfriend.
You were just dating.
So you're just not gonna date anymore.
You can still see each other as friends,
just not as a love connection.
But I guess he was a little hurt, huh?
I actually heard him having a meltdown.
-He was having a meltdown?
-Yeah, he was sniffing and, like, teary.
-I can hear his tears on the phone.
-Oh dear.
-Oh.
-Oh.
-That's hard.
-And how are you?
-I was, like, a little teary, but…
-Aw.
Come here.
-But I'm strong.
-It's okay.
I know you're strong. You're good.
Because businesswomen don't cry.
Hi, Subodh.
-Hey.
-Hey.
-How was it?
-Good.
-You look so happy!
-Yeah.
-Did you ask her to meet again?
-Yes.
-You did!
-What did she say?
When they receive a call
for a confirmed date.
-Okay.
-Awesome.
-All right.
-That is so exciting.
-What did you guys talk about?
-We did a variety of topics.
Where does she like to travel to?
She likes to travel all over the globe,
when I become a future partner
or a future date.
-Okay, future date.
-Wow.
Okay.
Was she sweet?
-Sweet.
-And she was pretty?
-Yeah.
-And did you pay for the bill?
-Yeah.
-Did you pull a chair for her?
Oh, I think it's okay.
-Did you make her happy?
-Yes, so happy.
-Yeah? Okay.
I'm gonna add the girl on the Facebook
and says "married."
No!
-Was that a joke?
-No.
-It's a joke.
-I think you're being silly, right?
I'm just saying it.
Yeah, you're just saying it
as a joke, right?
I'm so happy
that you had a wonderful date.
-Yeah?
-Can I have a hug?
-Yeah.
-Oh, you look so happy!
What do you think love means?
Love means, to me,
I'm treated like a princess.
We go out for ice cream.
We go out for dinner.
Abbey is getting ready
to meet David for a second date.
-Excited, girl?
-Mm-hmm.
You got up early today.
Look at you. You're like, "Uh…"
I shouldn't be getting up this early.
I'm too old for that, to get up early.
That's the opposite, honestly.
-Is it the other way around?
-Yes.
Exactly. It is the other way around, girl.
Welcome to the world,
where you have to get up
and go to work or do things.
All right. Where's the bracelet?
I think it's on here.
-Where I left it.
-Look. What's on it?
-Flamingo.
-It's so cute.
There you go.
Thank you.
I like it.
All right, let's go!
-Yeah!
-Let's do it.
You ready?
All right.
What was it like finding out
about your neurodiversity?
Growing up, I always knew deep, deep down
that I didn't really fit in.
Inside of my brain,
I knew something was different.
I might be a little goofy.
I might be a little bit weird,
but you know what?
The intentions are always good.
Elaine Hall has been working
with Steve as his life coach.
She's visiting him
as he prepares to start dating again.
Steve.
Wow, Elaine.
When I first met Steve,
no one had ever spoken to him
about neurodiversity, ever.
When Steve was young,
and we're talking over 50 years ago,
we did not have
the understanding of autism
that we have today.
So Steve's behavior
was looked at as being weird.
So my work with him is to help him
let go of the guilt, the shame,
the feeling bad about himself,
that society brought onto him
and he internalized.
So, Steve, remember you wrote a letter
to your future lady friend.
Oh, yes.
-Would you mind reading it again?
-No. No.
"Hello."
"My name is Steve."
"I'm 63 years of age."
"I like telling stories
and playing with words."
"I'm looking for a lovely lady
who is down to earth
and who also is very accepting
of my quirkiness,
with a loving heart."
"Please feel free
to come along and follow me."
"I'd love to have your companionship."
"We will show each other the way."
How'd it feel to read this over?
You know what? I think…
I don't think I need to change anything.
And so you're looking for someone
where you can bring out
the best in each other?
Thank you.
Exactly. That's right.
Do you have any concerns
or reservations or fears about dating?
For me, it's kind of, um…
going into the world of the unknown.
And maybe I'm a little different.
Okay, I'm sure that's true.
But I want to share that with somebody.
I want to embrace it.
And now you're ready.
Oh, thank you.
-Don't you think?
-I think so.
Steve's life had become very small,
and he had given up
on all the dreams and wishes he had had,
one of which was to be in a relationship.
Steve does need support,
but I don't think that'll get in the way
of him having a meaningful relationship.
And I really believe
that there was a part of him
that thought
that would never happen for him.
Thank you so much, Elaine.
Bye-bye. All right-o.
In Alpine, California,
David is waiting to show Abbey
one of his favorite places.
How do you feel
about seeing Abbey again?
Good.
'Cause she's special.
Hey, Abbey.
Hey, David.
I got you this gift.
Thank you.
Let's see what it is.
Oh, it's very… It's an elephant.
I like it.
Yes.
So, like an elephant,
you'll remember this moment forever.
Okay, I will.
Oh, and I also got you the hat.
Wow, I love it!
It's so beautiful.
-I'm looking forward to our second date.
-Me too. This is our second date.
Shall we go for a walk?
Sure.
Although the lions are dangerous,
but I'm not afraid.
Don't worry.
I'll be between you and the lions.
Hello, tigers.
I know you're scared.
Oh my God,
she's looking right at me.
-That's okay. I got you.
-Yeah.
Let's talk about birds.
Birds?
Some are little and some are big.
The big birds are pretty cool.
-The biggest bird I've seen…
-Here she comes.
…is the ostrich.
Is she trained?
Uh, I would say she's trained.
That's the beauty of this place.
All right, important rules, okay?
What I want you to do is make sure
you keep your hands behind this feed rail,
and you're gonna put it right through
the fence there, okay?
Go ahead and put it all the way
through the fence. Keep going. Keep going.
Keep going.
Perfect, and now pull the fork back.
-I want to try!
-All right.
All right, Abbey, your turn.
You hold this back here.
-Yeah.
-And stick it right through the fence.
-Keep your hands behind that rail.
-Be brave, Abbey.
-You got it.
-That's right.
All the way through that fence.
Perfect.
-I did it!
-You did it!
-Awesome.
-I knew it'd be okay, Abbey.
-Do you want to do another piece?
-Sure.
-Um, there's a wasp over there.
-All right.
Here comes the train.
-Keep going.
-Chug-a-chug-a-chug-a…
-Good girl.
-Yeah.
-A little faster right through there.
-Chug-a-chug-a-choo choo!
Perfect.
-Good job.
-You're trained.
Here comes Arusha.
Could she attack us?
She cannot attack you, no.
-If we go in, will they attack us?
-Mm.
I'm not sure,
so that's why we don't go inside.
-Let me get…
-Oh!
Don't feed yet, okay? I'll tell
you when. I'll feed at the same time.
There you go, and I'm gonna feed Louie.
There we go.
Perfect, and I'll take that fork back.
-I have two stuffed lions at home.
-You want to feed Louie?
He's not as dangerous as I thought.
They're still pretty dangerous.
They're wild cats.
-Why is he roaring?
-That's their sound.
That's on the list
of things that made me laugh.
-His roar?
-Oh my! Steve!
Wanna hold hands?
-Sure.
-Okay.
There's Crystal,
the white tiger over there.
There was a girl named Crystal
who went to high school with me.
You mean she's also named Crystal?
Yeah.
Oh, she's doing what Clemmy does.
Oh, she's like Clementine!
Hey, Crystal.
Hey.
Hey.
-Hey, Crystal.
-Crystal!
Look at me.
Oh, you wanna look over there, I guess.
So how'd it go
with watching Bakari the lion for me?
She says that she…
watching Bakari for me is great.
This is the bracelet you gave me
with the flamingo.
I'm glad you love it.
Yeah.
-Whoa.
You know, if you get too close to a hawk,
it could blind you.
-Vultures could pull your eyes out.
-Whoa.
Well, then, I guess
I'll keep distance from it.
Yeah, me too.
'Cause I don't want to lose my vision.
I don't want to go blind.
And if we go blind,
then that's when we plan…
schedule the eye doctor.
Yeah, we'll have to be
wearing sunglasses often.
-Agreed.
-Yeah.
-Do you hear that?
-Yeah.
It sounds like Bakari.
Oh my God, he's roaring.
He's awake!
-Yes!
-At last!
Bakari!
Oh, I'm so glad you're okay!
Me too.
-Abbey, this is Bakari the lion.
-Hi, Bakari.
Hey, Bakari.
How's your spine?
Is it hanging in there?
Aren't you glad the white tiger
named Crystal watches over you?
-Shall we go grab a snack?
-Sure.
I'm proud of Crystal
for watching over Bakari for me.
Yeah.
Even though
she's a tiger and I'm a human.
Unless I could drink something
that makes me become a real lioness.
Is the date going well
so far, David?
Yes. She likes animals as much as I do.
Oh, he's so cute.
Yes, when I was younger,
I had a great difficulty making friends,
but that really
is not a problem now actually.
In recent years,
I've made a great number of new friends
with whom I enjoy doing…
getting together
and doing activities with.
It's now easier
for me to make friends and keep them.
In Boston,
James is meeting his friends for lunch.
Hello, everyone.
How are you doing, gentlemen?
-Hey.
Never better, James.
Yes, I almost
didn't recognize you, Johnny.
Yes, so how have things been
for you recently?
-Oh, never better.
-Good. Good. Glad to hear that.
Yeah, I'd rather not shake hands.
Of course, I understand, but have you
been doing well in general, Matt?
Yes, I have been.
Good. Good. Glad to hear it.
-So I hear you went on a date recently?
-Oh, yes, yes, indeed.
It was really good.
The first one in a while,
actually, but yes, I…
Yes, the woman's name is Emma
and she is attractive,
which is good, obviously.
I mean, it's not everything,
but it is important enough
that, yes, that I do care
about how she looks.
But it turns out she does have a lot
of common areas of interest with me,
which is always a good thing.
Like what?
Well… Well, she does like creepy,
horror-themed things, you know.
We're going tomorrow to
a medieval Renaissance fair in New York.
I'm pretty excited.
I'm gonna dress up in my full set
of medieval clothing,
and Emma said she's going
to wear something special to it also,
so things seem to be going well so far.
I hope that things continue to go well.
-Likewise.
-Yes.
I've been on a couple of dates
earlier this year, during the summer.
Yes, and how have those been?
Well, I feel like those dates
have gone well,
but I think I've come to the conclusion
that neither one of them gals
were probably for me.
Oh, right.
Better to realize that
sooner rather than later.
If at first you do not succeed,
try, try again.
-That's the famous phrase.
-Yeah. I like that phrase a lot.
The key is, we just don't give up.
You keep looking
for that fish in your pond.
Oh, yes, exactly. Yes.
I'm gonna start the grill for you guys.
Be careful. It does get very hot.
Okay.
The thing is, I just really want
a woman to share my life with.
I mean, I've got nobody.
-I just don't want to be alone forever.
-I get that.
I'm trying to find some woman
who's always up for
some wild, swinging party.
-Oh.
-Swinging?
Oh, it is good to have fun.
I agree with that, yes.
A philosophy by which I live
is that life is too short
to not do the things that you enjoy.
-Yeah.
-Yes.
Ah.
Steve is in one
of his favorite neighborhoods…
-Wow.
-…meeting his best friend Stan for coffee.
-Oh man.
-Well.
If it isn't old Steve.
-How are ya?
-Unbelievable.
What a king.
-Man!
-Fancy meeting you here.
You know what I wanna say?
Stancy meeting you here.
Stancy!
So I understand
that, um, you were thinking a little bit
about putting a little more effort
and energy into dating.
I just haven't done any of it, really.
It… It's like a whole new world.
I'm nervous, uh, to be honest.
I… I have anxiety about it,
because I've never really
gone down that road,
and I… I would love to.
Well, let me tell you something.
You… You certainly know
how to make a good contact,
because you introduced me
to my wife, okay?
So if anybody knows
how to make a good contact, you do.
You're a wonderful icebreaker,
but when you get a piece
of tasty ice, don't let it melt.
I love the way
you just worded all of that.
-Oh my! Thank you so much.
-Thank you very much.
Yesterday, my personal assistant
decided to get onto the computer.
And you know me,
I don't even know how to use a computer.
And I think we went onto a dating site,
-eHarmony, if I'm not mistaken.
-Mm-hmm.
-It's an old one. Mm-hmm.
-I guess it is. I guess it is.
As old as it is,
it feels brand spanking new to me.
Oh, so you've already been involved, then,
so you're starting to send out…
And you've got an account.
If they're going to meet you at 60,
they can't expect you to be 25 or 30.
-That's right.
-And have 25- or 30-year-old aspirations.
You're correct, Stan.
That's right.
And presumably,
unless you're meeting somebody that age,
they're gonna be in a similar state.
What do you think, Steve,
you would… you might be looking for
in a date at this point in your life?
I think if I could find somebody…
somebody who's like you.
Me?!
Except a female.
Somebody who's warm,
understanding, accepting.
You're great at that.
Thank you.
You are, Stan, a fabulous influence on me.
-Thank you.
-You and I go back so far.
-You're highly sentimental, too, you know?
-Oh, that's another thing. You're right.
Oh, Stan, aren't you the best?
Oh boy. Yeah.
For you, what's the hardest thing
about being autistic?
Mm.
I guess sometimes
the isolation that comes with it.
Having difficulty making
genuine connections with people
just because…
just the, I don't know, body language
and the facial expressions,
that you miss that, you know…
Maybe you're talking too much
or not talking enough,
or not showing an interest,
and people make assumptions that,
"They're not interested in me,"
or "They don't like me," things like that.
And so that kind of turns them away
from pursuing a relationship with you
when you want a relationship
with that person.
You just don't know
how to pursue it the right way. Um…
And just kind of those miscommunications
can be very isolating.
You're kind of in my mow space.
You want me to move or be here?
I mean, you can be there.
You're just kind of in the space.
It's been three weeks
since Kaelynn matched with Peter
at speed dating.
It's not very even.
All I know is
we're not gonna have nice mow lines.
Meh, it's shorter.
-Have you been on Tinder lately?
-I haven't been on.
-I've been holding out for Peter.
It's rare that somebody
gets to a second date,
so we're excited about it.
I feel like you have, like,
a little bit of a crush on Peter.
I don't think
we can decide that quite yet.
Definitely interested.
-Yeah.
The face.
"Mom, you're embarrassing me."
Looking forward
to seeing him again?
Yeah. I think
it's gonna be awkward, though.
Why's that?
I don't know. It's just always awkward
until you get to know somebody,
and so I think it's going to be awkward
the first few times,
but that's just how it is.
We're going to google second-date topics
and memorize them.
You need to do a refresher course?
Yes. It's been a while.
I mean, I think second dates, you can
ask more of the personal questions.
Second date,
he's at least a bit interested
or he wouldn't have planned a second date.
I wouldn't, like, interrogate him, but…
That's why we were gonna
google some examples.
I don't remember the answer
to most of the questions that I asked.
-There was a lot going on.
-I don't remember what he did for work.
-You could say, like, "Remind me."
-Yeah.
-"Tell me again."
-Because it's been a while.
Not because I forgot
immediately after I left.
"'Cause I have a squirrel brain."
Yeah, no, we're not saying that part.
-Even though that's the truth.
Cheers!
Cheers!
Do you want cinnamon toast popcorn
or simply savory "unami" popcorn?
-Cinnamon toast popcorn.
-Okay.
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
Do you want to go on a cruise
with me sometime?
Sure.
Regular cruise with water slides on it.
I see.
-That would be so much fun.
-Mm-hmm.
And I'll bring my brother.
-You have a brother?
-Mm-hmm.
Named Ben.
He has a girlfriend named Julia,
but they're not on the spectrum.
Mm-hmm.
But we are.
Oh yes.
I wrote a song called "The Girl Inside,"
because that's… autism feels like
there's someone trapped in me.
You should watch it on YouTube.
That's what autism feels like.
There's someone living inside me
is what it feels like.
Speaking of that,
have you seen the movie Soul?
-Yes.
Let's talk about the movie Soul.
The guy went inside the woman's body.
The souls were all mixed. It's like that.
And the guy went in the cat's body too.
Wow.
I remember.
Well, it was so nice
having another date with you.
I really had fun. I look forward
to doing it sooner than later.
-Me too. Would you like a third date?
-Yes!
Kiss on the cheek.
-Thanks.
-You're welcome.
You're welcome too.
I have a fear
that I'm not going to meet anybody
and I'm just going to be alone,
like I have been for quite some time.
I think I'm meant to be
with a person, with a woman.
This loneliness thing is, uh…
It's not for me.
Hello.
Oh, wow, Cian!
How neat to see you again.
How you doing?
Now that you're right here in front of me,
now I'm coming back to life again.
Oh, good.
-Can we come in?
-By all means, please do.
Feeling ready
to go on this date, Steve?
Today you're going on your first date
in how long?
Oh my gosh. I'm embarrassed to admit.
I couldn't even remember.
Gosh, it's been a long time.
Are you nervous?
You know what? I'm nervous.
You're a people person.
-Thank you.
-You will be just fine.
Thank you. Wow, Shorae.
What a saleslady.
Here we go.
Wow. Whew, whew.
I wish I could whistle!
Oh my gosh.
You're looking good!
Oh, you're so great.
Another chapter begins.
That's right. Thank you for saying that.
I feel like
I'm sending my son to the prom.
I love it.
Okay, here we go.
Oh.
-Have fun.
-Wow.
-Thank you.
-Just be yourself.
-That's right. You bet.
-Bye!
Bye-bye now.
Wow.
This is beautiful.
Steve is meeting Candida.
She likes the smell of popcorn
and going to the dentist.
She doesn't like wearing high heels
or '80s fashion.
Hi.
-Hi, there.How are you doing?
-I'm well.
Oh, beautiful. Beautiful.
I'm Candida.
What a pretty name.
-Thank you.
-Yes.
-What's your name?
-I'm Steve.
-Steve! It's so nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you too.
Is there a song?
-There is!
-"My Candida"?
You remember that.
Tony Orlando and Dawn.
-That's right.
-That's right.
-Yes.
-Oh my gosh.
That is a nice song.
-Yeah.
-But, boy, it is a pretty name.
It almost reminds me of the word "candy."
I… Yeah.
But I go with Candida.
-Of course. Of course.
-Yeah.
You know, I… I have a habit
of listening to names
and hearing letters and sounds and
playing around
and getting creative if I can.
-It's--
-No, that's great. I love it.
Thank you for saying that.
Are you in the mood for some tea?
Sure.
I do like it. They've got this one
that they call sencha.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
I love that name too.
Let's go for it, then.
-Why not?
-All right, great.
So you're a local San Franciscan?
Yes. Let's see, I've been here, uh, oh,
eleven years, seven months, and one week.
It sounds like you have a good memory.
Thank you. When it comes to those things,
dates and, you know, that kind of a thing.
-A pot of sencha tea for you guys.
-Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.
You're welcome.
-Cheers!
-Cheers!
-Yes!
-I was just about to say that.
-How beautiful. Nice meeting you.
-Nice meeting you.
-This is great.
-Really fun.
Oh, wow.
This is really nice.
What do you think?
I like it with you.
-Yes.
-Good.
Not too much caffeine.
After you drank that,
I'll bet that sencha flying.
There you go, "sent ya flying."
That's cute.
I had to think about it for a second.
I do find her attractive.
And, uh, she's very enjoyable to talk to.
Perhaps we can
take a little adventure sometime.
Would you like some more?
Sure. Why not?
Is your hair just wet?
No, I put gel in it, Mom.
You know I do that.
It looks better all natural.
Yeah, Mom,
I put gel in my hair
only for special occasions like this, Mom.
Or weddings and funerals too.
James is getting ready
to head to the New York Renaissance Faire
for his second date with Emma.
Need to get on my belt pouch now.
Very cool.
Yes, I'm not going
to bring my sword or dagger,
only 'cause those get…
those would be too many items to carry.
You think it's gonna be
too hot wearing that?
I don't know, but it's not
my fault that the climate is changing!
-James.
-You can take it off.
-September shouldn't be this hot.
-James.
-If you're too hot, you can take it off.
-Yes.
It looks terrific.
Then they can see your muscles!
I still have to get one more thing.
Look at that.
Hey, now you can be Dr. Jekyll
and Mr. Hyde too.
Dracula!
Or Dracula.
Jimmy,
do the Count Dracula thing.
I'm not supposed to be Count Dracula.
It looks good anyway.
-It's good theater.
Do a sinister laugh.
And a Hungarian accent.
I never drink wine.
You can show us your sword,
but then put it back if you want.
Well, yes.
I can't see your face.
Well, I'll have it like this, then.
Now I can't see the sword.
-Well, I can't do it both ways.
-That's fine.
-Okay.
-All right.
Wait, should I… Should I do one
where I'm down like this maybe?
-Yes.
-Here.
-All right.
-Oh, go ahead.
I'll dub you knight.
-Come on.
-What do I…
-This is what a father has to do.
I dub thee Sir James,
Knight of the Knights Who Say "Ni!"
Or formerly said "Ni!"
Now they say, what? "Nicky Nicky Poo"?
I don't remember the exact words,
but it was something to that effect.
Yes.
Oh, yes.
I gotta put this back.
And I award you with this ceremonial cane.
Oh, all right.
I want to look
like a noble lord, you know,
so I want to be carrying the cane
like this while I walk.
He should have been born 200 years ago.
You would have fit right in.
The life spans were much shorter then.
They didn't have vaccines.
Disease and violence
were rampant, you know.
Yeah, but if you were the king
or the black knight or--
Yeah, but what is the chance that…
The peasantry
far outnumbered the aristocracy, you know,
so it's more likely than not
a person would be born as a peasant.
-Well, hey, have a good time.
-Yes, thank you, Dad.
-All right, can I give you a hug?
-Yes. Yes, of course.
-Oh. Goodbye, honey. Have fun.
-Yes, of course.
And just remember, you can take stuff off
and leave it in the car
if you're really hot.
Yes, I know.
-Enjoy!
-Have fun!
-Thank you very much.
-Have lots to eat and drink!
-Definitely, I shall.
-Bye, honey.
Yes, thank you.
Ooh. It's so hot.
Looking forward
to seeing Emma again?
Yes, unquestionably so.
I enjoy being in her presence,
and, I mean, there's a vague possibility
she could be a new girlfriend.