Mammals (2022) s01e04 Episode Script

1
What's French for completely,
unreservedly, intoxicating, and beguiling?
Tell me.
Seductive.
Se-duct-ive.
Seductive.
Seduct-ive. Seductive.
Thanks, Bucura.
Right. Shall we?
Here!
What's this?
It's my favourite book
and I want you to have it.
Aww.
That's so sweet.
I'll treasure it.
Mm-mm.
Happy birthday.
Mm.
This is Captain Suki.
Skipper, this is Amandine.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
Too much turmeric, start again.
Where are my fucking clams, Kerry?
Wake up.
- Come on, the carpet shells!
- Chef!
- Good, Jamie, pinch of saffron, yeah?
- Yes, Chef.
- Sorry, Chef, that was me.
- What happened?
My fault, it was my fault,
I'm sorry, Chef.
Clean it up!
Thirty fucking quid on the fucking floor,
you dozy arsehole, what are ya?
- A dozy arsehole, Chef.
- Aye, right.
Start again and that saffron's
coming out your fucking wages.
So where did you two meet?
Oh, well, I work in market research
and Jack was doing the focus group
on his new app
so I suppose we met at work.
Stop saying that
Of course he's the fucking farmer!
I don't know what's wrong with me
I haven't dropped a pot
in, like, five years.
You need some sleep, Jamie.
Oh, sorry, I'm not meant to
I thought I was going down.
Oh, I'm going down.
- I'm sorry that was me, I'm so sorry
- Wow.
I know, I'm sorry, I did just, I'm so
You really did.
I'm sorry, I just
Wow.
It's actually getting worse,
I apologise, I am so
If anyone gets in, I'll say it was me.
Don't worry, so will I.
I really am
Oh, goodnight.
Yeah, goodnight, and I really am sorry.
Oh, fuck it.
Do you want a drink?
I, uh, no if it's okay with you,
I'm just gonna slip silently overboard.
Oh, well, you need a drink first.
Thank you.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Um, I'm Jamie by the way,
it's nice to meet you.
You look nervous.
I'm not nervous.
Yes, you are.
I'm not, it's just we're not
We're not allowed
to, like, mix with the guests.
Huh? Says who?
It's just the rules.
Whose rules?
Lucien's.
Uh, Lucien works for Jack
and Jack is my fiancé.
Yeah. No, I, uh, sorry.
I've not had a great day.
Congratulations by the way,
he seems really nice.
Have you ever even spoken to him?
Once, he said, "Morning,"
and I said, good morning, sir,
and I'm really basing
my entire considered opinion on that,
but I read people pretty fast so
How do you read me?
Oh, well, that's the thing,
there's just so
there's so much, isn't there?
So much to go on, you know, if I
if I really had to drill it down,
you know, boil down to
its absolute essence
I'd say you are absolutely, definitely
French if not possibly Belgian.
No, no, right first time.
- Yeah, you're good at this.
- Yeah.
Okay. Uh
Uh, coffee, strong, black, no sugar,
allergic to chestnuts and red wine,
uh, loves warm bread and shellfish,
especially oysters,
generally unfussy, dislikes pork,
smoked fish and offal.
Wait, what the fuck,
how the fuck did you do that?
It's magic, see.
Tell me.
Oh, we, uh, no we get given a folder
on every guest who comes on the boat who
- You're kidding me?
- No, you know, likes,
dislikes, there's a photograph,
it's laminated, everything
Wait, what is laminated?
Uh, wipe clean.
Ah, laminated.
Ah, laminated, exactly.
Why?
Kitchens are messy.
Maybe it's so that you can have a
over me.
I genuinely don't know
what to say to that.
What about you?
- Me?
- Yeah, what is your dream?
Me, uh, I wanna own my own restaurant.
Like your boss?
Because he seems a bit like an arsehole.
Lucien? No, he's a he's a genius,
honestly he just wants perfection,
you know?
Are you good enough?
Not yet, but I will be.
How do you know?
It's hard to Well, like,
so when I got this job, okay,
this job was the absolute dream for me,
like, to work for Lucien, it really was,
but there's one problem, I get seasick.
Right, I do.
So, uh, I went to the local swings,
like, the park, all right,
and I would go to the roundabout
and I would sit on the roundabout
for four hours a day,
every day just going round
and round and round,
four hours a day, every day
for two weeks and then bang, cured.
I like your dream.
- So do I.
- It's a good dream.
What are you reading?
What's the in the book?
Moby Dick.
Ah!
Have you read it?
I haven't actually,
I've seen the film, Gregory Peck, right?
- And the whale, obviously.
- Mm-mm.
And you've heard the stories,
Gregory Peck,
lovely, you know, salt of the earth
but the whale, nightmare, absolute diva,
wouldn't come out of its trailer,
you know, all that sort of nonsense.
Why did the old Persians
hold the sea holy?
Sorry?
Why did the Greeks
give it a separate deity?
Surely all this is not without meaning?
Um
Uh
"We ourselves see
in all rivers and oceans."
"It is the image
of the ungraspable phantom of life.
- This is the key to it all."
- "This is the key to it all."
So, what are you gonna call it?
Call what?
Your restaurant?
Fucking hell!
- Oh, my
- Oh, my fucking God. Fuck!
I Did you see that?
What the fuck?
- What the fuck just happened?
- I don't know
Amandine?
- Jack?
- Everything okay?
Uh, it's fine.
- Who's this?
- Uh, this is
Hi, I'm I'm Jamie, we just saw
You know, I'm going to bed.
Are you coming Jack?
- Sure.
- Yeah. Oh, uh, nice to meet you, Jamie.
- Night, Jamie.
- Goodnight, sir.
Jamie, a word.
- Yes, Chef?
- Pack your bags.
- What?
- You heard.
- Why? What'd I do?
- You touched a guest
and not just any guest,
no, no, no, no, the fiancée of the cunt
that owns this fucking boat,
you came onto her!
- What?
- This is my show, you prick, my show!
- Okay!
- My reputation!
Okay. Look, let me explain, okay?
That isn't what happened!
I don't I don't want to know
what happened!
All I'm interested in is what happens now!
- Why do you have to shout all the time?
- What?
And swear, I mean, fuck, I get it,
that, you know,
everything has to be perfect,
but I swear to God
when I'm in your position,
- I'll hear people out, I won't just
- Right. Wait, wait, wait, wait, stop.
When you are in my position?
You in my pos
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The The oolong cured trout
with wild sorrel,
but not just any old oolong,
no, it's gotta be Ti Kuan Feng,
grown off the western front of Mount Fuji
except have you ever noticed,
have you ever noticed
that when the elevated tannin
reacts to the oxalic acid in the sorrel,
it leads to a slightly unpleasant,
slightly bitter, slightly tiny note of,
and I hope you don't mind me
saying this, cat piss!
Fucking PG Tips, mate, problem solved.
Ah, fucking Ow!
for these people here
you got the wrong day.
That's my number.
Welcome home, Jamie.
What type of whale?
A sperm whale?
A fin whale?
- A long finned pilot?
- I don't know,
but it rose up, it looked at us,
and sunk back down.
Okay. Well
that's amazing.
You see whales are mammals,
they live in the deep,
but they need to surface to breathe,
and one of these did that near you
and because of that,
you're now thinking of chucking Gail?
I'm not thinking of chucking Gail.
- This girl
- Amandine.
- She's getting married.
- I know.
- To a billionaire.
- A billionaire's son, right?
Jack's never done
a day's work in his life,
- he hasn't even got a job.
- He doesn't need one.
Would you work if you didn't have to?
I think she's having second thoughts.
Right. Well, who cares?
You're never gonna see her again.
She texted me.
- When?
- Last night.
- How's she got your number?
- I gave it to her.
- Why?
- I don't know.
What'd it say?
It said, "Have a question."
Okay. Well, are you gonna answer?
I already did.
Can I ask you a question?
- Yeah.
- You love Gail.
That isn't a question.
- Do you love Gail?
- I do, yes.
You, what, you want to be with Gail?
I do, I want to be with Gail.
Good, so you text her back
and you tell her you've got the flu.
- I've got the flu?
- You've got the flu.
I've got the flu.
Mr. Jamie?
Yes.
Miss Dubois will see you in her suite.
Her suite?
Thank you.
Hi.
Hello.
You came.
You said you had a question.
Do you play Scrabble?
Is that the question?
No, it's not.
Well, you pick first.
Okay, sure, let's All right.
Fine, let's play Scrabble.
Why did you get fired?
Is that the question?
No.
It's a high pressure industry,
fast turnover.
- Did Jack get you fired?
- I got me fired, I broke the rules.
Wow, a double letter score
and a Scrabble.
- Sixty-three.
- Okay.
Do you have a girlfriend?
- Is that the question?
- No.
Yes.
Does she know you're here?
Does Jack know you're here?
Polio, seven.
Females, 83.
No, he doesn't.
But he'll find out.
How?
He owns this hotel.
This is Jack's hotel?
His father's, or both, I'm not sure.
But they have cameras everywhere.
So, what's her name?
- Who?
- Your sweetheart.
Her name's unimportant.
Well, it's important to her.
Mellow, 23.
Why did you give me your number?
Is that the question?
- No.
- I was just being friendly.
- Friendly.
- Look, I wasn't really thinking.
I'd just been fired. I'd been head-butted.
It was What's that?
"Fletch",
from the French "fleche" meaning arrow.
It's an English verb.
It means, uh, to provide the feathers
What's the question?
The question is this
Do you believe in signs?
Signs?
My grandmother said life is suffering,
torment, agony, havoc,
chaos, confusion, and then death.
But in the darkness,
there are pockets of light,
little glimpses.
You must look for signs,
clues, intimations
Can I stop you there?
Is this about the whale?
Because here's the thing about whales.
Whales are mammals.
They have to surface, to breathe.
That's all it was.
It Do you know what?
I think I should go.
Wait, but the game is not over yet.
I think it is, okay?
I don't believe in signs.
I'm in love with Gail, okay?
- Like a storm?
- What?
- A storm at sea?
- Eh?
As in tempest?
No, as in Gail,
my girlfriend who I love, all right.
P.S. Also you're getting married
or maybe you're not, I don't know.
That's your
that's none of my business, all right?
Thank you for the game.
This has been really weird.
- Good night.
- So you're going to ignore it.
It wasn't a sign.
It was a whale.
No, not that sign. This one.
What one?
- This.
- Where?
Here.
Okay, sure.
Let's do this then, shall we?
What have we got? We've got polio,
fem, emerald, uh, females with polio,
mellow females with polio,
fletch, emeralds, is that it?
Look again.
- I can't see.
- But it's right there.
Nevertheless, I can't see it.
Okay, watch.
And so after
only the briefest of courtships
the male and female
consummate their relationship.
Hey, how was your girls' night?
The defeated male can only look on.
It was it was fun.
Did you eat?
Because this, uh, sashimi is outstanding.
Yeah. Give me a minute.
Uh, I was, uh
Oh. Hmm.
What's this?
I found it in the bathroom, in the bin.
Whose is it?
Whose thong is it?
The cleaner?
Don't
The fucking cleaner? Bullshit!
Wait, wait, wait, wait, Amandine!
Look me in the eye, Jack. Whose is it?
I'm
I'm so, so sorry.
It was a total fucking mistake.
You tricked me.
Goodbye, Jack.
Wait, wait, wait.
Can we at least talk
can we talk about this?
I've met someone.
I'm meeting him in 30 minutes.
What are you doing?
Ah, man. What are you doing?
Hi.
Hi.
Do you wanna get a drink?
I've got £2.65.
I have ten euros.
Okay.
This is insane.
I don't know you.
I don't know anything about you.
How do I take my coffee?
Strong, black, no sugar.
- Allergies?
- Chestnuts and red wine.
What do I love?
Warm bread, shellfish.
- Especially?
- Especially oysters
but you won't touch pork,
smoked fish, or offal.
There's something else
you need to know about me.
What's that?
I'm pregnant.