Mirzapur (2018) s01e04 Episode Script

1
this lioness can mate
up to 100 times in 3 days.
Her goal is not just to
ensure a new generation,
the desire to achieve her own
pleasure is also very strong.
Kaaleen bhaiya never lasts this long.
The lion may be called
the king of the jungle
but during sex,
it is the lioness who is in charge.
Harder
Harder
Oh, Raja!
Ma'am, I'm very close.
Shut up!
It's time for Bauji's dinner.
Once he has impregnated her
and brought her pleasure,
the lion is of no use to the lioness.
Yes? Who is it?
Hello, Sir. You asked for me?
Oh, yes.
Golu.
Let me come straight to the point.
Okay, sir.
You're first on the honor roll.
A most sincere student.
Popular too.
Lately the college
environment hasn't been ideal.
Sir, you haven't come to the point.
I'm coming to the point!
I'm on the way.
"Haven't come to the point"
Will you contest the election?
Deepu has withdrawn his nomination.
And Munna
refuses to change his ways.
If you run
he'll be challenged.
And if you win
the college will benefit.
Uhmm.
I'm not sure.
You've caught me off guard.
I didn't mean to.
You have plenty of time.
Sleep on it,
let me know.
It won't be easy.
And that's why I'm asking you.
Yes, sir.
I will think about it.
Dude.
I just can't tell anymore,
Guddu bhaiya.
Why don't you help us decide?
Sir, I've shown you so many sarees.
Just pick one.
Okay, wait.
This is our mum.
Oh, she's really fair.
Now I'll show you the good stuff.
What's your budget?
Don't worry about that,
show us the stuff.
Look at this classic.
Only 10,000.
We've 2,500.
You heard him.
Table 3 needs a bill.
Your potato patty.
Thanks.
Let's go.
The money?
Are you daft?
Guddu bhaiya, he's just a kid.
So are we.
Let's go.
Hey, pay up!
Here.
I see Maqbool got you a new gun.
It's gleaming.
We looked everywhere for the old one,
it's vanished.
Here you go.
Sit.
Akhanda
he takes cares of you?
He's so busy.
And I don't need taking care of.
I run this house.
Though, a child would've helped me cope.
Shall I go?
Hmm?
Yes, go ahead.
Why are you getting
caught up in all this, Golu?
That's why I haven't agreed to it yet.
Told him I need to think about it.
Although,
he's right about one thing.
The college needs fixing.
Give me the shuttle.
I'm on game point.
You'll win anyway.
Are you free tonight?
Why?
How about a cheeseburger
at the highway McDonald's?
What time?
Huh? What time?
You tell me.
What's the time right now? 2 o'clock.
- Let's go at 4 o'clock.
- 4 o'clock?
Yeah!
Oh gosh, I just remembered.
I'm having potato patties
with someone at 4 o'clock.
It's a date.
What, what Who is this?
What's the name of this potato?
Why do you need his name?
Planning to go offer
her hand in marriage to him?
You know,
this whole love thing is fucked up.
If it weren't for love,
I'd have chopped you both into pieces
and thrown you into the gutter a long time ago.
Look, Munna
There are plenty of fish in the sea.
You like me; I don't like you.
Deal with it.
I'm not done here just yet, Sweety.
Fine.
All the best.
Yeah, Compounder,
where are you?
Who're you going out with?
I wasn't
but I will now.
Hello.
Yeah, Sweety. I'll be there.
What what time?
What?
Hello?
Hello?
H- hello?
Fuck-
I'll shove that horn up your ass.
What, are you gonna turn
into a helicopter and fly away?
Can't you see I'm on the phone?!
Cuntlicker. Get going!
Beat it or I'll beat
you right here. Move it!
Hello?
Yeah, I'll be there.
Yep, at 4.
And I haven't had
potato patties in ages.
Greetings, Satyaprakash.
Welcome, Munna bhaiya.
Has the film started?
The previous show is on,
it'll take some time.
Restart it.
Sir!
Alright, everybody out.
The show is over,
we have to repair the system.
Shut down the projector, you fool!
[Anti-smoking warning]
Here, bhaiyaji.
Bring some ice.
Yes, sir.
Here, sir.
Bro, why do I have to be here?
I'm shitting bricks here, man.
Sweety asked me out.
Well, what use will I be?
Moral support, what else?
Now shut up and move it.
Hurry up, man.
Calm down.
Hold the saree, man!
Your assistant, am I?
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
We're done with "Hi".
Yeah.
What will you have?
Potato patties.
That was the plan, no?
Go on then.
Uh, four potato patties
and four lemon sodas.
Just two patties and one soda here.
Go sit there.
Bablu.
Bablu!
I'm going. I'm going!
Jeez, calm your tits.
- There's no need to get so antsy.
- Just go, man.
Er May I
Will you have something?
You should rest your chest too.
Sit down quietly.
This isn't a date.
What's your order, sir?
Just a glass of water for me.
And nothing for her, she only
eats when she's on a date. Alright?
Go on then.
This guy who Sweety
is going on a date with,
should we find him and fuck him up?
Come on, Munna bhaiya.
Nobody in Mirzapur would
dare to go on a date with Sweety.
Here.
Yeah, you're right.
But, Sweety really fucks with me.
Bhaiyaji, why are you bothering
with all this love bullshit?
Just stick to "wham,
bam, thank you ma'am".
Have you become mentally unbalanced,
son of a bitch?
You've already lost one ear,
I'll shoot the other one off too.
I'm serious about this girl,
it's not like with the others.
Go on.
How'd you ask me out?
Why?
I shouldn't have?
I might ask you out again.
Think about it.
I have.
Oh!
The great Mahadevi?
I'm a huge fan of her poetry!
No
don't get me wrong.
I'm actually a huge fan,
I'm not hitting on you.
Munna bhaiya, we thought
you'd beat the shit out of them.
They took you on.
Oh, I wanted to, Compounder.
But, the business will be mine anyway.
Whenever I wish, they'll be
That's true, Munna bhaiya.
The entire empire is all yours.
Yes That it is.
Just a question of when.
Sooner or later.
If you wish,
we could speed it up, Munna bhaiya.
Hmm?
For you,
I'd kill even Kaaleen bhaiya
The fuck did you say?
- Nothing, Munna bhaiya.
- What the fuck did you say?!
It was a slip of tongue, Munna bhaiya.
Motherfucker,
you want to kill my father?
I'll have you torn apart
and thrown to the dogs.
I'm his son, I can say anything,
not you!
Bhaiyaji
Bhaiyaji, let it go.
He's drunk.
Why don't we call
those two assholes here?
Fuck with them.
[reciting poetry]
[reciting poetry]
Did you know this was
Mahadevi's first poem?
And she wrote this when
she was only 6 years old!
Here you go.
What is this?
Why are you charging extra?
You had a patty earlier today,
and ran off without paying, remember?
Just added that here.
Th-there's been some confusion.
I'll just go sort it out.
What the fuck, kid? Huh?
You'll take money from me?
Do you know who I am?
What difference will that make?
Do you know who I am?
No, right?
And anyway, if paying just fifty
bucks is making you shit your pants,
you're surely a fraud.
- Fucker, I'll-
- What happened?
He gave me a bill, the little fuck.
Here.
And my tip?
At least 10%.
You didn't even order anything
and took up an entire table.
You're right.
What happened?
Nothing, it's sorted.
Tipped him too.
Shall we go for a
movie next time, Sweety?
It'll be a 3-hour date,
more time together.
If it's a Salman Khan movie,
I'll come.
I'll take you to Shilpi Talkies,
it's fantastic.
Hello?
Munna bhaiya?
Yeah.
Okay.
Munna bhaiya has summoned us.
Fuck this.
What a drag.
Hmm.
Come, kids.
Come, come.
Come.
Is that a present for me?
Why so serious?
You were handpicked.
Thought you could chill with us.
Lalit,
make a nice, strong one for them both.
I don't drink.
Neither do I.
Drinking together
is a mark of loyalty.
You're loyal, aren't you?
Hmm?
Are you or not?
Huh, huh?
Relax, you guys.
Hmm?
I hear you want to
become a bodybuilder.
Yes, bhaiyaji. I'm trying.
Don't feel bad, but
your body isn't good enough.
How will you do it?
I'll improve my diet.
That's why I'd asked
you for eggs that day.
Just eggs won't cut it.
What were you talking
about Compounder? Tell us.
Yeah, that
For bodybuilding,
you get all these supplements.
Your muscles
will become rock-hard.
Yes, I'd read about that on the net.
I have some lying around.
You want?
It's free.
Guddu bhaiya.
Hold on, man.
Well, why wait on a good deed?
Let's get him the pills right now.
Yeah, let's.
Here.
Take two everyday.
Keep in mind,
you'll be very hungry.
And very horny.
So, be careful.
You can get some more later.
Stronger ones.
Start with these.
I wanted to ask
- I read this on the net -
another thing that's
good for big muscles is
mother's milk.
I mean, is there any way to
No, it's true.
Have you lost it, man?
Huh?
Go on, now.
Dimpy!
Yes, Papa?
Have they come?
Yes, Papa.
Make some tea, please.
Okay.
My apologies, I got held up in court.
Just give me a moment.
Then we can talk properly.
I had some more
questions about the case.
Have some water.
I can't look him in the eye.
You?
Yes.
We're Mr Pandit's sons.
We-we've come to withdraw the case.
Good. Leave the letter and fuck off.
Sir.
We'll take your leave.
We're leaving this letter for you.
Please read it.
I'll read the letter, but
please sit.
No, thank you.
But- -
Did the two of you
say something to them?
What would we have said?
Mummy!
Move aside.
Mummy!
Well, do you like it or not?
I like it very much.
How much did it cost?
It's a gift, Mum.
You don't need to know.
Yes, but still.
Stop acting so middle-class.
Kaaleen bhaiya paid us.
Oi, Dimpy!
He gave you such an
amazing motorcycle too.
That's why I had it blessed.
You called, bhaiya?
Yes, I called.
We got this for you.
I'm on Papa's side.
I won't take this.
What do you mean "side"?
We're a divided family now, bhaiya.
And those clients downstairs,
they withdrew their case.
And they're ignoring Papa's calls.
We got a suit for Papa.
He hasn't bought anything
for himself in years.
So, we did.
Wow.
I'm not even sure he'll take it.
You give it to him.
Okay.
I should go, dinner is almost ready.
Thank you.
I love it.
Guddu bhaiya, why are you taking this?
Just giving it a try, bro.
Let's see.
S- -
S-side? What does she mean?
What- what is going on here? Huh?
What you said about Papa earlier
I shouldn't have, Munna bhaiya.
Sorry.
Will you go the distance
when it matters?
I will, Munna bhaiya.
Dimpy said that Guddu and Bablu are
now working full-time for Kaaleen bhaiya,
they barely even attend college.
Oh?
Both of them?
Hmm.
I think they did the right thing.
There's no harm in working
for the most powerful man in town.
Hmm?
Best not to judge.
One man's virtue
can be another's vice, no?
Kaaleen bhaiya,
in your legit business front
what sort of profit do you make?
Enough to pay the bills, Guddu.
You seem eager to know
all about my profits.
Nothing like that.
Prove your worth first.
Alright?
Let's go.
We've got the world at our feet,
and it's been so easy.
The supplier took some persuading. ..
before he was amenable.
He'll give us more silk
but
he's hiked the price.
If we're buying more,
the rates should be lesser, no?
Young man, talk to your father.
How much does he want?
15% more.
Yes.
Papa, we'll get the 'silk', but
Lala has increased the rate by 25%
Dad, I barely convinced Lala.
He was being adamant.
Don't get into the negotiation.
Just give me the go ahead.
Alright.
Then I'm finalizing the deal.
Yes.
Tell me, Mr Tripathi.
No, no, no. Not less than 25%
Any lesser, and I'll be taking a hit.
Of course, if I could, I would.
You're quite the bastard, son.
You see,
if you expand the gun business,
I'll involve you in this too.
Consider it an incentive.
So, if you're not letting
us in on the business,
then why did you bring us here?
You're sharp.
But learn to be patient.
Maqbool.
Ever whacked somebody?
Yeah, course, that day at the house.
- We whacked the shit outta them
- Killed.
Have you ever killed someone?
Your time has come.
Got your guns, right?
Sir
Shut up.
Am I talking to you?
They're being trained.
Go on.
Shoot.
Shoot.
Shoot, man!
Please!
Please let me go.
What have I ever done to you?
Pl-please let me go.
Shoot him in the head or the heart.
Let me go.
I'm begging you.
Motherfucker.
Wrong side,
the heart is on the left.
Fucking cuntflaps.
Today, you boys have become men.
Consider your cherry popped.
There's a method to murder.
The less you know about them,
the easier it is.
Otherwise
you will hesitate on the trigger.
Now, your next task is to
transport these carpets out of town.
And, remember
you can't use Kaaleen
bhaiya's or my name.
In the beginning,
I had a brain freeze.
But then
after that first shot,
it was easy.
Oi, Bablu!
Why are you so quiet?
I shat my pants in there.
I don't think I can do this again.
Alright
from now on, I'll use the gun,
and you, your mind.
It's sorted.
Motherfucker.
Bablu.
Hide it!
What's in the truck?
Carpets, sir.
Get out, show me.
Sir, they're just carpets.
I said, show me.
Coming.
Hurry up.
Fuck!
Open up.
Shit!
Open up.
Open up.
What's taking so long, man?
Open up!
Open up!