Mixed-ish (2019) s01e04 Episode Script
Love Is a Battlefield
1 BOW: Culture.
The ability to point to a custom, a flag, or a specific group of people and say, "That's ours!" For a lot of white Americans, defining their culture is as easy as asking to speak to the manager.
But for black folks in America, defining their culture is a bit more complicated.
Ask some people and they'll say their culture is that of African kings and queens, while others will simply reply, "I know I have some people in the Carolinas.
" Today, you can "23andMe" it all the way back to your ancestors and attach some meaning to where you're from and who you are.
But in 1985, this 12-year-old mixed girl couldn't use DNA.
I could only ask Dee-and-A my Aunt Dee-Dee and my mom, Alicia.
And when I did, this happened Excuse me for wanting to broaden her perspective! And excuse me for wanting to whoop your barely black ass.
- Oh! - [Button presses.]
It was super clear that this was not gonna be an easy answer.
In the mix Oh, oh, oh, they keep trying But they can't stop us 'Cause we got a love That keeps rising up In the mix Life turns around 'Round and 'round it goes Ooh, it's a mixed-up world Ooh, it's a mixed-up And that's for sure Mixed-up In the mix Baby We're gonna get by We're gonna On our own, side by side Love's all we need to be free Lo-o-o-ve is all I got you, you got me Yaaaaay us! I-I-In the mix Yaaaaay us! I-I-In the mix-ish Who made you queen of all things black? - Your mother.
- [Button presses.]
Unfortunately, conversations about our culture can sometimes turn into black-on-black crime.
- And, like most black-on-black crime - [School bell rings.]
this all started due to a failure of the school system.
There's no cream in this, Jeremy.
I won't put you on coffee duty if you're going to get it wrong.
Back-to-school night is coming up.
And do you know what parents don't like? Oh! When you talk to them slowly like they don't speak English? Silencio.
No.
What they don't like are all of these blank walls.
That's where you come in.
I want you guys to interview your parents about your culture and put a presentation together that I can put on these blank walls.
Sound good? Yes, Rainbow I don't have a question, it's more of a comment.
Thank you, Ms.
Collins, for giving me the chance to dig deeper into my mixed heritage.
I have a black side and a white side, and it will be an honor to share both with the class.
This is why you are bullied.
[Laughter.]
A blank poster board You know what that means.
School project.
Wow, that takes me back.
I used to love those.
[Chuckling.]
Yeah.
You were a little nerd.
RAINBOW: I'm glad you're all here, I need you to help me with my back-to-school night project.
My project's about my culture.
And since I have two, I figured I'd put one on each side.
So, Dad, what country's your culture from? [Chuckles.]
We're originally from Scotland.
It's actually an incredible story so, your great grandfather Callum immigrated here from a city called Aberdeen in 1903.
Legally, I might add.
And then he worked hard, saved all his money, and sent for your great grandmother Fiona.
Instead of just leaving her for his secretary.
I go and get one little divorce Tell me more about Great Grandma Fiona! Let me handle this, let me handle this.
- She was beautiful.
- Beautiful.
I mean, statuesque.
Right.
I began to see how culture could bring people together even those who rarely saw eye-to-eye.
In less than an hour, my granddad and father showed me the clothes our ancestors wore, and told me about our traditional exotic, bland food.
And it all sat proudly under our Scottish flag.
Well, I don't know if we'll be able to do ours that quickly.
[Sighs.]
Black culture is a little more complicated, baby.
And you can't talk about it in front of white people.
- They'll steal it.
- I know that's right.
What have we ever stolen from you? Okay, regardless, white culture is just as complicated as black culture.
Impossible.
You can look at a map and point out what country you came from.
We can't do that.
And for that, I am so sorry my possibly-Nubian queen.
No.
Point is, us getting here was no cake walk.
We had to change our clothes, we had to change our name, and don't get me started on the boat ride Never mind.
Look, our culture can get a little tricky, but you came to the right place.
Your Aunt Dee-Dee is an expert on all things black.
And, of course, your mom minored in African Studies at Berkeley.
I want to know about everything.
Okay, then let's do it.
- Yes.
- [Laughs.]
Black school is officially in session.
- Hey.
- Hey! - Hey.
- Hey! - Oh.
- Oh! - No.
- No? - No.
- Oh.
You going to black school, too.
[Crowd cheering on TV.]
Meanwhile, my dad and granddad had their own cultural tradition.
If you look past its concussions, hockey is a chance for families to be on the same team.
For 60 minutes, Dad and Granddad didn't care about politics or race, just hockey.
You know, me and the kids, we listened to a few games on the commune, but I'm excited for them to watch their first one.
Come on, you know there's no eye contact when the game is on.
Stop making it weird.
Oh, right, sorry.
[Clears throat.]
Hey, kids! Come on, the game's about to start! [Buzzer.]
Sorry, just had to make sure I looked good.
Sweetheart, we're just watching the game on the couch.
I know, but you never know who might stop by.
Kids, I love you, but Oh, now, kids, don't get scared, but you might hear some bad words.
You're definitely gonna hear some yelling.
But that's just hockey.
You're free to say or do whatever you want while the game is on.
Oh, come on, ref! What the hell was that?! Call the high stick, you [bleep.]
[bleep.]
! Uh-oh Looks like somebody has to put a turnip in the swear jar.
No, it's like I said there's no bad words today.
Really, none? Yeah, when when the game is on, you're free to say whatever you want.
Go ahead, give it a shot.
- Pancakes! - [Chuckles.]
You'll get the hang of it.
I think it's like this.
Frosted pancakes! You've always been my favorite.
- HOCKEY ANNOUNCER: Flips out to - [Buzzer.]
- ALL: Yes! - [Cheering.]
All right, I told you, stop looking at me.
You're making it weird.
So, what should I put for country of origin? - Africa.
- Tennessee.
Tennessee is not a country.
Neither is Africa More important, you've never been there.
But that's where we're from.
We had a rich culture we were forced to leave behind.
People try to make it seem like Africa is all jungles and huts You forget famine and disease.
But the truth is, in Africa, we were queens and kings.
So I'd be a princess in Africa? Girl, no.
That's the one place light-skinned folks don't win.
So what would I be? You'd be wishing you was back in Tennessee.
But look at these.
These are the kings and queens of America.
You got Prince.
Mmm! You got Eddie Murphy.
Mmm mmm.
You got the cast of "227.
" Mmm mmm mmm! Yeah, but we also have Haile Selassie.
Mmm mmm! Use these magazines if you want to show our real culture.
But I will need to return these to the salon once we are done.
Black businesses.
- You don't need this and you don't need this.
- I mean, you do, because this is your - great-great-great-great aunt Dee.
- I don't know who these people are.
- These are random Africans.
- She would be around BOW: Black culture is rich and vibrant, but if you ask 10 different people what it is, you'll get 10 different answers.
And that was starting to get a little confusing.
Wait, stop.
Is this Dr.
J even a real doctor? Of course not.
And how is "Dr.
J" even part of the conversation about our best and brightest? I guess you've never seen him wear shorts.
What's so special about his shorts? - Girl - Nothing.
You know what? Rainbow can decide.
Would you like to fill up your board with what your aunt learned in magazines and TV, or would you like to use what your mom learned from books and college? - Honestly, I'm just confused.
- [Button presses.]
Even though culture was supposed to bring us together, - it was starting to tear us apart.
- [Button presses.]
We need to show her what blackness is.
Then she can choose what she likes best.
Okay.
But this is not a competition.
Definitely not.
- Okay.
- Okay.
But I can't lie Dr.
J is working those shorts.
- I tried to tell you.
- You did.
- Whew.
- Oh, okay.
Jollof rice, fufu, egusi.
This is how we ate in our natural state, when we were kings and queens in Africa.
Do Africans still eat this? If they do, we need to send way more than 35 cents a day.
Hey, don't talk about the motherland like that.
I hate to break it to you, but we weren't all kings and queens in Africa.
That's not even how a monarchy works.
So then why does everyone always say we were royalty? Because it sounds nice.
But the truth is, most of us were just regular people eating regular food.
Fatback, ham hocks That's not our culture.
That's someone else's scraps.
Scraps? That's what makes us us.
We took what white people threw away and turned it into something great.
Greens, chitlins' Chitlins' are great?! Have you ever smelled them cooked? Girl, please.
That smell is the struggle burning off.
Which ones are the chitlins'? Oh, I actually got put out of my apartment the last time I cooked them, so I did not bring any.
[Scoffs.]
Is that something to be proud of or Yes.
I swear, I don't know how we grew up in the same house and you turned out so bougie.
[Button presses.]
My mom was triggered by this word.
A tea party? You are so bougie.
Ballet? You are so bougie.
A bank account? You're so bougie.
Fine, you win.
You want to help Rainbow, have at it.
Oh, I forgot the Solo cola.
It's for women who live alone.
ALICIA: Don't give her Solo cola! While I was dealing with my own black culture clash, Johan was dealing with a mixed one of his own when something you like from one culture isn't respected by the other.
SHAWN: Hey, Johan.
[Chuckles.]
Uh, what's with the outfit? It's my favorite hockey team.
Do you guys want to come over and watch the game today? Thanks, but, you know, hockey's a white sport, fool.
Call us when you're watching hoops, though, all right? See you later.
- [Television plays indistinctly.]
- PAUL: Hey, there he is! Johan, you should sit in the same place you sat last time we won.
Don't want to jinx anything.
Where's your shirt? You always wear the same thing you wore during the last win.
You remember what you were drinking? I think it was orange juice, right? Left hand, no straw.
I don't want to watch hockey.
What?! But you're our good luck charm! He is such a disappointment.
Which one? What if you just sit in your good luck seat? You don't even have to watch.
You can sleep, read a book, play with your bellybutton Can I go to my room? Ah, Johan Sure, buddy, you can sit this one out.
Still 80 games left.
[Harrison sighs.]
I didn't think I could be more ashamed of you.
This kind of sissy fathering is why Russia is winning the Cold War.
But he doesn't want to.
A father's job is to make his children do things whether they want to or not.
You think you liked hockey when you first saw it? Hey, Johan! Hey, buddy.
Why don't you just hang with us for 10 minutes? And if you still hate it, you can leave.
This is so [bleep.]
.
That's the hockey spirit.
[Thudding.]
- Ooh! - Ooh! - Hit him in the brain! - [Laughing.]
Yeah! - Yeah! - See? - I knew you loved hockey! - HARRISON: Whoo-hoo! Oh, hey, babe.
I just have to grab my lucky puck.
And I already folded those, so you don't have to.
I don't know who Denise thinks she is.
Oh.
W-What happened? Also, that's not really how I do it I swear, dealing with her is the hardest thing I've ever had to do besides giving birth.
Well, that wasn't hard.
You and I played "go fish" while you were in labor.
I know, I just say it was hard so other moms don't hate me.
Oh.
Well, you know what? You've given me three beautiful children.
Let me help with that.
No, baby, I've got it.
Do you know what it's like to try and get your sister's approval your whole life? If she wasn't embarrassed by the way I dressed, then she thought the things I liked were weird.
And of course, I was never black enough.
Well, have you ever thought of telling her some of this stuff? Uh, you know, maybe somewhere else, away from this laundry? - Paul.
- [Sighs.]
I'm serious, though.
Big sister or not, you never stand up to her.
It's not worth the drama.
Yeah, but, babe, you and I both know she's not the queen of blackness.
So, if you don't finish helping Rainbow with her project, then she's just gonna learn Denise's version of her culture.
Well, it is great to see everyone has their poster boards filled with life and culture, but most importantly, wall-covering artwork.
Let's start hanging them, huh? Ms.
Collins, could I have an extension? No.
You don't need an extension.
Literally whatever you have on that thing is fine.
Well, would it be okay if I didn't hang mine? [Sighs.]
Again, we're just trying to put stuff up that your parents can look at so they don't question my lesson plan.
- I'll have it done by tonight.
- Yes, you will.
Oh! Pizza! Italy! Yum! Even if no one else cared, I wanted to find out what I was, and then show off both sides of my culture so no one would ask me again.
Hey, buddy, after back-to-school night, we're gonna watch the game.
"All About Me.
" Johan Johnson.
What's your favorite food? Bubble gum.
Hmm.
Where were you born? The birthing bucket.
What's your favorite sport? Huh.
- Oh.
- Hey, buddy.
Oh, I'm not done yet Oh, no, it's great.
What happened to hockey? Uh well, I changed it.
But we're a hockey family.
You guys are, but I don't like it.
But you liked it the other day.
No, you made me watch it! Stop trying to make me like everything that you like! Johan.
[Sighs.]
Do you need my belt? Hey, baby.
Ready to go show off your project? Actually, I'm feeling a little sick.
- [Door closes.]
- Maybe we should stay home instead.
I got to see my niece school these white people on blackness.
I left a date to come.
Come on, let's see your project.
Why do we have to go? I mean, a school's a school, right? There's a water fountain.
A garbage can.
Something our janitor calls asbestos.
Girl, let me see your project.
Come on, Rainbow.
Don't be shy.
Let's go.
Why did you take off everything on your black side? Because I didn't know what to do.
You guys wouldn't stop arguing.
See? Alicia, this is your fault.
You just had to speak on something you know nothing about.
What I know nothing about? Who made you the queen of all things black? - Your mother.
- [Button presses.]
You already saw this part, so [Button presses, fast-forwarding.]
you like wearing these old potato sacks? Let me hook you up.
Excuse me for wanting to broaden her perspective.
And excuse me for wanting to whoop your barely black ass.
- Oh! - [Button presses.]
Oops, you saw this part, too.
[Button presses, fast-forwarding.]
- Oh, I'm I'm not white, right? - Ooh, you're not even white.
Because at least white people aren't ashamed of where they come from.
Stop! [Sighs.]
Do you have any idea how happy I was to do this? To finally be able to show off both sides of who I am? All you had to do was help me fill out half of what I am.
But you guys couldn't even do that.
- [Door closes.]
- Can I use your phone? I want to call to see if my date is still at the restaurant.
[Click, dialing.]
Can I have the number for Red Lobster? PAUL: Hey, little man.
I've been thinking, and I owe you an apology.
You were right.
I shouldn't have forced hockey onto you.
It's just that some of my favorite memories are watching the game with my dad.
But I didn't think about how you're different than me, so you're gonna like different things.
But I like hockey.
You do? Oh, Johan.
[Chuckles.]
They say that girls are harder to raise, but you are by far my most confusing kid.
No, it's just my friends, they Well [Sighs.]
They said it's a white sport and that I should like hoops.
Oh.
I see.
Well, it's one thing if you don't like something.
But I don't think you should let other people tell you what you can and can't like.
Those are your decisions to make.
So I can like hockey and hoops? Of course.
But do you even know what sport "hoops" is? No.
But it's black, right? Maybe, but tell you what if you want to learn about hoops, maybe we can do it together.
And if we like it, we can become a hoops and hockey family.
Even Granddad? Uh we'll work on him.
Thanks, Dad.
Get in here.
[Sighs.]
Doesn't it smell good? [Sniffs.]
Smells like dirt.
How's Rainbow? She's in her room.
She doesn't want to talk about it.
I don't know what happened.
We grew up snapping peas with Grandmama, jumping Double Dutch.
How'd we get so different? Can I be honest without you yelling at me? Probably not.
I loved all the stuff we did growing up, but I loved other stuff, too.
I just didn't tell you because you always made me feel weird for liking it.
That's it.
Get them hands up.
What? I'm not gonna fight you.
Too bad.
You know I'm not good with emotion! Denise, come on.
Just talk to me.
It hurt bad when you ran away.
[Scoffs.]
I wasn't running away, I was running to the man who loved me.
I was running to my life.
A life that didn't even include me.
[Scoffs.]
Why do you even care? My life is not black enough for you anyway.
Because I missed you.
Honestly, I don't care what you eat or where you think you're from.
I just wanted to agree on something to do it with my sister.
What? You missed me? That's so bougie.
- Okay, we fighting for real now.
- I missed you, too.
Oh, I missed you.
Hmm.
Mwah! What is that? Uh, a swan with green beans and a chicken to go.
Oh.
I'll completely understand if you're mad at us.
We know we acted a damn fool.
- But we want to make up for it.
- Mm-hmm.
Mom and Aunt Dee-Dee explained that even though their ideas of black culture were different, they were both just trying to give me pride in myself.
Do you think we can finish my board now? Of course.
And then after, I can show you how I school your aunt in Double Dutch.
Ha ha! You wish.
[Laughs.]
Gir Girl.
- Girl? - She tries.
- [C.
Lauper's "All Through the Night" plays.]
- That day, I learned that culture is the shared experiences that bring us together.
The things we pass down in a family that make us who we are But those things can grow and change just like a family grows and changes I gotta say, I kind of like this Larry Bird guy.
And when it came to my black side, I learned I was looking at it the wrong way.
There isn't one path.
We all make our own, defining culture for ourselves.
I was looking for a flag, but it's an evolving tapestry woven in real time by each and every member of the community and by each and every member of our families.
So, while we might not have a flag, what we do have is a beautiful quilt.
It's easy.
Just jump in.
- That's it? - No, it's stupid hard.
Come on, baby.
[Cheering, shouting.]
Go, baby, go! Jump, jump, jump, jump! How are you doing that? Get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, baby! [Cheering, shouting.]
Great, we just let white people steal something else.
[Groans.]
The ability to point to a custom, a flag, or a specific group of people and say, "That's ours!" For a lot of white Americans, defining their culture is as easy as asking to speak to the manager.
But for black folks in America, defining their culture is a bit more complicated.
Ask some people and they'll say their culture is that of African kings and queens, while others will simply reply, "I know I have some people in the Carolinas.
" Today, you can "23andMe" it all the way back to your ancestors and attach some meaning to where you're from and who you are.
But in 1985, this 12-year-old mixed girl couldn't use DNA.
I could only ask Dee-and-A my Aunt Dee-Dee and my mom, Alicia.
And when I did, this happened Excuse me for wanting to broaden her perspective! And excuse me for wanting to whoop your barely black ass.
- Oh! - [Button presses.]
It was super clear that this was not gonna be an easy answer.
In the mix Oh, oh, oh, they keep trying But they can't stop us 'Cause we got a love That keeps rising up In the mix Life turns around 'Round and 'round it goes Ooh, it's a mixed-up world Ooh, it's a mixed-up And that's for sure Mixed-up In the mix Baby We're gonna get by We're gonna On our own, side by side Love's all we need to be free Lo-o-o-ve is all I got you, you got me Yaaaaay us! I-I-In the mix Yaaaaay us! I-I-In the mix-ish Who made you queen of all things black? - Your mother.
- [Button presses.]
Unfortunately, conversations about our culture can sometimes turn into black-on-black crime.
- And, like most black-on-black crime - [School bell rings.]
this all started due to a failure of the school system.
There's no cream in this, Jeremy.
I won't put you on coffee duty if you're going to get it wrong.
Back-to-school night is coming up.
And do you know what parents don't like? Oh! When you talk to them slowly like they don't speak English? Silencio.
No.
What they don't like are all of these blank walls.
That's where you come in.
I want you guys to interview your parents about your culture and put a presentation together that I can put on these blank walls.
Sound good? Yes, Rainbow I don't have a question, it's more of a comment.
Thank you, Ms.
Collins, for giving me the chance to dig deeper into my mixed heritage.
I have a black side and a white side, and it will be an honor to share both with the class.
This is why you are bullied.
[Laughter.]
A blank poster board You know what that means.
School project.
Wow, that takes me back.
I used to love those.
[Chuckling.]
Yeah.
You were a little nerd.
RAINBOW: I'm glad you're all here, I need you to help me with my back-to-school night project.
My project's about my culture.
And since I have two, I figured I'd put one on each side.
So, Dad, what country's your culture from? [Chuckles.]
We're originally from Scotland.
It's actually an incredible story so, your great grandfather Callum immigrated here from a city called Aberdeen in 1903.
Legally, I might add.
And then he worked hard, saved all his money, and sent for your great grandmother Fiona.
Instead of just leaving her for his secretary.
I go and get one little divorce Tell me more about Great Grandma Fiona! Let me handle this, let me handle this.
- She was beautiful.
- Beautiful.
I mean, statuesque.
Right.
I began to see how culture could bring people together even those who rarely saw eye-to-eye.
In less than an hour, my granddad and father showed me the clothes our ancestors wore, and told me about our traditional exotic, bland food.
And it all sat proudly under our Scottish flag.
Well, I don't know if we'll be able to do ours that quickly.
[Sighs.]
Black culture is a little more complicated, baby.
And you can't talk about it in front of white people.
- They'll steal it.
- I know that's right.
What have we ever stolen from you? Okay, regardless, white culture is just as complicated as black culture.
Impossible.
You can look at a map and point out what country you came from.
We can't do that.
And for that, I am so sorry my possibly-Nubian queen.
No.
Point is, us getting here was no cake walk.
We had to change our clothes, we had to change our name, and don't get me started on the boat ride Never mind.
Look, our culture can get a little tricky, but you came to the right place.
Your Aunt Dee-Dee is an expert on all things black.
And, of course, your mom minored in African Studies at Berkeley.
I want to know about everything.
Okay, then let's do it.
- Yes.
- [Laughs.]
Black school is officially in session.
- Hey.
- Hey! - Hey.
- Hey! - Oh.
- Oh! - No.
- No? - No.
- Oh.
You going to black school, too.
[Crowd cheering on TV.]
Meanwhile, my dad and granddad had their own cultural tradition.
If you look past its concussions, hockey is a chance for families to be on the same team.
For 60 minutes, Dad and Granddad didn't care about politics or race, just hockey.
You know, me and the kids, we listened to a few games on the commune, but I'm excited for them to watch their first one.
Come on, you know there's no eye contact when the game is on.
Stop making it weird.
Oh, right, sorry.
[Clears throat.]
Hey, kids! Come on, the game's about to start! [Buzzer.]
Sorry, just had to make sure I looked good.
Sweetheart, we're just watching the game on the couch.
I know, but you never know who might stop by.
Kids, I love you, but Oh, now, kids, don't get scared, but you might hear some bad words.
You're definitely gonna hear some yelling.
But that's just hockey.
You're free to say or do whatever you want while the game is on.
Oh, come on, ref! What the hell was that?! Call the high stick, you [bleep.]
[bleep.]
! Uh-oh Looks like somebody has to put a turnip in the swear jar.
No, it's like I said there's no bad words today.
Really, none? Yeah, when when the game is on, you're free to say whatever you want.
Go ahead, give it a shot.
- Pancakes! - [Chuckles.]
You'll get the hang of it.
I think it's like this.
Frosted pancakes! You've always been my favorite.
- HOCKEY ANNOUNCER: Flips out to - [Buzzer.]
- ALL: Yes! - [Cheering.]
All right, I told you, stop looking at me.
You're making it weird.
So, what should I put for country of origin? - Africa.
- Tennessee.
Tennessee is not a country.
Neither is Africa More important, you've never been there.
But that's where we're from.
We had a rich culture we were forced to leave behind.
People try to make it seem like Africa is all jungles and huts You forget famine and disease.
But the truth is, in Africa, we were queens and kings.
So I'd be a princess in Africa? Girl, no.
That's the one place light-skinned folks don't win.
So what would I be? You'd be wishing you was back in Tennessee.
But look at these.
These are the kings and queens of America.
You got Prince.
Mmm! You got Eddie Murphy.
Mmm mmm.
You got the cast of "227.
" Mmm mmm mmm! Yeah, but we also have Haile Selassie.
Mmm mmm! Use these magazines if you want to show our real culture.
But I will need to return these to the salon once we are done.
Black businesses.
- You don't need this and you don't need this.
- I mean, you do, because this is your - great-great-great-great aunt Dee.
- I don't know who these people are.
- These are random Africans.
- She would be around BOW: Black culture is rich and vibrant, but if you ask 10 different people what it is, you'll get 10 different answers.
And that was starting to get a little confusing.
Wait, stop.
Is this Dr.
J even a real doctor? Of course not.
And how is "Dr.
J" even part of the conversation about our best and brightest? I guess you've never seen him wear shorts.
What's so special about his shorts? - Girl - Nothing.
You know what? Rainbow can decide.
Would you like to fill up your board with what your aunt learned in magazines and TV, or would you like to use what your mom learned from books and college? - Honestly, I'm just confused.
- [Button presses.]
Even though culture was supposed to bring us together, - it was starting to tear us apart.
- [Button presses.]
We need to show her what blackness is.
Then she can choose what she likes best.
Okay.
But this is not a competition.
Definitely not.
- Okay.
- Okay.
But I can't lie Dr.
J is working those shorts.
- I tried to tell you.
- You did.
- Whew.
- Oh, okay.
Jollof rice, fufu, egusi.
This is how we ate in our natural state, when we were kings and queens in Africa.
Do Africans still eat this? If they do, we need to send way more than 35 cents a day.
Hey, don't talk about the motherland like that.
I hate to break it to you, but we weren't all kings and queens in Africa.
That's not even how a monarchy works.
So then why does everyone always say we were royalty? Because it sounds nice.
But the truth is, most of us were just regular people eating regular food.
Fatback, ham hocks That's not our culture.
That's someone else's scraps.
Scraps? That's what makes us us.
We took what white people threw away and turned it into something great.
Greens, chitlins' Chitlins' are great?! Have you ever smelled them cooked? Girl, please.
That smell is the struggle burning off.
Which ones are the chitlins'? Oh, I actually got put out of my apartment the last time I cooked them, so I did not bring any.
[Scoffs.]
Is that something to be proud of or Yes.
I swear, I don't know how we grew up in the same house and you turned out so bougie.
[Button presses.]
My mom was triggered by this word.
A tea party? You are so bougie.
Ballet? You are so bougie.
A bank account? You're so bougie.
Fine, you win.
You want to help Rainbow, have at it.
Oh, I forgot the Solo cola.
It's for women who live alone.
ALICIA: Don't give her Solo cola! While I was dealing with my own black culture clash, Johan was dealing with a mixed one of his own when something you like from one culture isn't respected by the other.
SHAWN: Hey, Johan.
[Chuckles.]
Uh, what's with the outfit? It's my favorite hockey team.
Do you guys want to come over and watch the game today? Thanks, but, you know, hockey's a white sport, fool.
Call us when you're watching hoops, though, all right? See you later.
- [Television plays indistinctly.]
- PAUL: Hey, there he is! Johan, you should sit in the same place you sat last time we won.
Don't want to jinx anything.
Where's your shirt? You always wear the same thing you wore during the last win.
You remember what you were drinking? I think it was orange juice, right? Left hand, no straw.
I don't want to watch hockey.
What?! But you're our good luck charm! He is such a disappointment.
Which one? What if you just sit in your good luck seat? You don't even have to watch.
You can sleep, read a book, play with your bellybutton Can I go to my room? Ah, Johan Sure, buddy, you can sit this one out.
Still 80 games left.
[Harrison sighs.]
I didn't think I could be more ashamed of you.
This kind of sissy fathering is why Russia is winning the Cold War.
But he doesn't want to.
A father's job is to make his children do things whether they want to or not.
You think you liked hockey when you first saw it? Hey, Johan! Hey, buddy.
Why don't you just hang with us for 10 minutes? And if you still hate it, you can leave.
This is so [bleep.]
.
That's the hockey spirit.
[Thudding.]
- Ooh! - Ooh! - Hit him in the brain! - [Laughing.]
Yeah! - Yeah! - See? - I knew you loved hockey! - HARRISON: Whoo-hoo! Oh, hey, babe.
I just have to grab my lucky puck.
And I already folded those, so you don't have to.
I don't know who Denise thinks she is.
Oh.
W-What happened? Also, that's not really how I do it I swear, dealing with her is the hardest thing I've ever had to do besides giving birth.
Well, that wasn't hard.
You and I played "go fish" while you were in labor.
I know, I just say it was hard so other moms don't hate me.
Oh.
Well, you know what? You've given me three beautiful children.
Let me help with that.
No, baby, I've got it.
Do you know what it's like to try and get your sister's approval your whole life? If she wasn't embarrassed by the way I dressed, then she thought the things I liked were weird.
And of course, I was never black enough.
Well, have you ever thought of telling her some of this stuff? Uh, you know, maybe somewhere else, away from this laundry? - Paul.
- [Sighs.]
I'm serious, though.
Big sister or not, you never stand up to her.
It's not worth the drama.
Yeah, but, babe, you and I both know she's not the queen of blackness.
So, if you don't finish helping Rainbow with her project, then she's just gonna learn Denise's version of her culture.
Well, it is great to see everyone has their poster boards filled with life and culture, but most importantly, wall-covering artwork.
Let's start hanging them, huh? Ms.
Collins, could I have an extension? No.
You don't need an extension.
Literally whatever you have on that thing is fine.
Well, would it be okay if I didn't hang mine? [Sighs.]
Again, we're just trying to put stuff up that your parents can look at so they don't question my lesson plan.
- I'll have it done by tonight.
- Yes, you will.
Oh! Pizza! Italy! Yum! Even if no one else cared, I wanted to find out what I was, and then show off both sides of my culture so no one would ask me again.
Hey, buddy, after back-to-school night, we're gonna watch the game.
"All About Me.
" Johan Johnson.
What's your favorite food? Bubble gum.
Hmm.
Where were you born? The birthing bucket.
What's your favorite sport? Huh.
- Oh.
- Hey, buddy.
Oh, I'm not done yet Oh, no, it's great.
What happened to hockey? Uh well, I changed it.
But we're a hockey family.
You guys are, but I don't like it.
But you liked it the other day.
No, you made me watch it! Stop trying to make me like everything that you like! Johan.
[Sighs.]
Do you need my belt? Hey, baby.
Ready to go show off your project? Actually, I'm feeling a little sick.
- [Door closes.]
- Maybe we should stay home instead.
I got to see my niece school these white people on blackness.
I left a date to come.
Come on, let's see your project.
Why do we have to go? I mean, a school's a school, right? There's a water fountain.
A garbage can.
Something our janitor calls asbestos.
Girl, let me see your project.
Come on, Rainbow.
Don't be shy.
Let's go.
Why did you take off everything on your black side? Because I didn't know what to do.
You guys wouldn't stop arguing.
See? Alicia, this is your fault.
You just had to speak on something you know nothing about.
What I know nothing about? Who made you the queen of all things black? - Your mother.
- [Button presses.]
You already saw this part, so [Button presses, fast-forwarding.]
you like wearing these old potato sacks? Let me hook you up.
Excuse me for wanting to broaden her perspective.
And excuse me for wanting to whoop your barely black ass.
- Oh! - [Button presses.]
Oops, you saw this part, too.
[Button presses, fast-forwarding.]
- Oh, I'm I'm not white, right? - Ooh, you're not even white.
Because at least white people aren't ashamed of where they come from.
Stop! [Sighs.]
Do you have any idea how happy I was to do this? To finally be able to show off both sides of who I am? All you had to do was help me fill out half of what I am.
But you guys couldn't even do that.
- [Door closes.]
- Can I use your phone? I want to call to see if my date is still at the restaurant.
[Click, dialing.]
Can I have the number for Red Lobster? PAUL: Hey, little man.
I've been thinking, and I owe you an apology.
You were right.
I shouldn't have forced hockey onto you.
It's just that some of my favorite memories are watching the game with my dad.
But I didn't think about how you're different than me, so you're gonna like different things.
But I like hockey.
You do? Oh, Johan.
[Chuckles.]
They say that girls are harder to raise, but you are by far my most confusing kid.
No, it's just my friends, they Well [Sighs.]
They said it's a white sport and that I should like hoops.
Oh.
I see.
Well, it's one thing if you don't like something.
But I don't think you should let other people tell you what you can and can't like.
Those are your decisions to make.
So I can like hockey and hoops? Of course.
But do you even know what sport "hoops" is? No.
But it's black, right? Maybe, but tell you what if you want to learn about hoops, maybe we can do it together.
And if we like it, we can become a hoops and hockey family.
Even Granddad? Uh we'll work on him.
Thanks, Dad.
Get in here.
[Sighs.]
Doesn't it smell good? [Sniffs.]
Smells like dirt.
How's Rainbow? She's in her room.
She doesn't want to talk about it.
I don't know what happened.
We grew up snapping peas with Grandmama, jumping Double Dutch.
How'd we get so different? Can I be honest without you yelling at me? Probably not.
I loved all the stuff we did growing up, but I loved other stuff, too.
I just didn't tell you because you always made me feel weird for liking it.
That's it.
Get them hands up.
What? I'm not gonna fight you.
Too bad.
You know I'm not good with emotion! Denise, come on.
Just talk to me.
It hurt bad when you ran away.
[Scoffs.]
I wasn't running away, I was running to the man who loved me.
I was running to my life.
A life that didn't even include me.
[Scoffs.]
Why do you even care? My life is not black enough for you anyway.
Because I missed you.
Honestly, I don't care what you eat or where you think you're from.
I just wanted to agree on something to do it with my sister.
What? You missed me? That's so bougie.
- Okay, we fighting for real now.
- I missed you, too.
Oh, I missed you.
Hmm.
Mwah! What is that? Uh, a swan with green beans and a chicken to go.
Oh.
I'll completely understand if you're mad at us.
We know we acted a damn fool.
- But we want to make up for it.
- Mm-hmm.
Mom and Aunt Dee-Dee explained that even though their ideas of black culture were different, they were both just trying to give me pride in myself.
Do you think we can finish my board now? Of course.
And then after, I can show you how I school your aunt in Double Dutch.
Ha ha! You wish.
[Laughs.]
Gir Girl.
- Girl? - She tries.
- [C.
Lauper's "All Through the Night" plays.]
- That day, I learned that culture is the shared experiences that bring us together.
The things we pass down in a family that make us who we are But those things can grow and change just like a family grows and changes I gotta say, I kind of like this Larry Bird guy.
And when it came to my black side, I learned I was looking at it the wrong way.
There isn't one path.
We all make our own, defining culture for ourselves.
I was looking for a flag, but it's an evolving tapestry woven in real time by each and every member of the community and by each and every member of our families.
So, while we might not have a flag, what we do have is a beautiful quilt.
It's easy.
Just jump in.
- That's it? - No, it's stupid hard.
Come on, baby.
[Cheering, shouting.]
Go, baby, go! Jump, jump, jump, jump! How are you doing that? Get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, baby! [Cheering, shouting.]
Great, we just let white people steal something else.
[Groans.]