Modern Love (2019) s01e04 Episode Script

1 We face the music together And throw our hats in the ring Facing all kinds of weather And not afraid of anything Hey When the sun comes up, we'll be on our way And we don't care where we land And the waves are high, but we won't turn round 'Cause your hand is in my hand And, oh-oh You make me feel invincible 'Cause it's you and me Through the wind and hail Setting sail into the world.
(TENNIS BALLS THWACKING) (HORNS HONKING) SARAH: I'm tired, I'm unhappy, I don't see the point in this.
It's, uh, expensive, it's time-consuming, it's not working.
I mean, you wouldn't keep going to a yoga class if it was making you stiffer.
- (CHUCKLES) - Oh, my God.
Oh, come on, it was a nervous laugh.
You know what? I think it's over.
- I think I'm done with this.
- Fine.
That's it then.
I'm done, too.
- So why don't we - SARAH: No.
(GRUNTS) (SIGHS) (EMOTIONAL MUSIC PLAYING) MORGAN FREEMAN: From now on, the couple has but a single goal: keeping their egg alive.
They've practiced this clumsy ballet dozens of times, if need be.
This couple's partnership is now over.
The long march in vain.
With no reason to stay, they will wander back to the sea.
- (CRYING, SNIFFLING) - Other couples have lost their egg as well.
As for the others I'm just gonna go and call the kids real quick.
the partnership is about to change.
The exhausted female must depart quickly.
She must eat soon, or she will die.
Hey! You okay? You missed, like, the last 20 minutes.
- Oh - The snow was black with all their shits at the end.
Yeah, I just thought it was kind of I really didn't want to Oh, no, there was a happy ending.
Oh.
Oh, good.
Yeah, but even when it was sad, you were like, "Oh, bet it stinks there.
" Oh, you want to go? Yeah.
- You okay? - Yeah.
- Is that what we are? - Is what what we are? Like a penguin couple? (CHUCKLES) Like, together to keep our kids alive? What? No, we're You didn't even see the ending.
Listen, I I I just keep getting this feeling that when they leave, you know, like, when the kids are gone, that we're done.
Well, that's a shitty thing to say.
No, it's not.
It's not a shitty thing to say.
It's a totally reasonable thing to say.
What if we don't have enough in common anymore to fill the many, many, many days and nights, many nights, that we will be together, just us, just the two of us, when there's no more kids around? Well we'll go on a cruise or something.
We'll go on a 40-year cruise? (LAUGHS) Yeah, why not? Okay.
What will we talk about? What? He's an actor, so he is inherently self-involved and childlike.
And when he works, he has everything done for him.
I mean, he's driven around, he has his hair brushed, and they bring him breakfast and snacks and lunch and more snacks and then they bring him dinner, and and if he's cold, they wrap a coat around him and bring him a hot snack.
She makes it sound like (LAUGHS) You know, first of all, this is not something you ever stop appreciating, by the way, and then they do all that stuff because you're on set.
You can't go home and make your own lunch.
And they brush your hair because it's someone's job to brush your hair.
Jesus Christ, it's insane that I have to justify this.
Why are you getting all worked up? Well, because, what do you want me to do? Brush my own character's hair? "Hi, I'm sorry, "you mind if I brush my own hair even though it's your job because I don't want to upset my wife?" Okay, it doesn't upset me.
I'm just pointing out that your life has privilege in it.
You know, you are used to people asking you what you want and then giving it to you, and you're emotionally and mentally stunted because of it.
Why? What do you want me to do? Nothing.
What about when Dennis isn't working? - I take care of the kids.
- That's true.
He does take care of the kids.
He's very good with the kids.
Well, maybe you should take the But also, when he's not working, he's needy and full of self-doubt and bored.
I don't think that's fair or true.
Okay, and and even if it's a little true, I don't think it interferes with how I am with my family.
- I didn't say it interferes.
- A-And when I'm between jobs, she loads me up, like she wants to make absolutely sure that I do my part.
You know, which I would do anyway.
I I'm very, very aware that when I'm working, I'm gone, I'm not present, I know that, but it's like she keeps a mental list - of all the days and hours - Um and minutes I'm away and then she checks off each task and she times it and measures it against the time I'm away until it's even.
It's never even.
Do you make time for one another? In what way? Do you have date night, for example? - Yes.
Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah.
- What do you do? - This.
This is date night? Yeah, because we grab a movie afterward.
- Yeah.
- Sometimes.
I mean, if, you know, if we're not too tired.
So maybe you could do something that isn't therapy.
Something fun, easy.
It could be a day thing.
You know, uh, a shared common ground.
(DENNIS SIGHS) - Can you suggest something? - Well, some couples I work with enjoy a drawing class, - for example.
- Oh, yeah, I don't know.
I wouldn't want to, um, I mean, do you mean life drawing, naked? Because I don't know, that would just be It doesn't have to be life drawing.
It could be fruit, it could be bottlescapes, I mean Let me think I had some clients who took dancing classes.
- I mean, they learned how to dance.
- Jesus Christ, - that'd be a little cheesy.
- Oh, that could be kind of fun.
Do you have any hobbies that can be shared? - I play tennis.
- Uh, food, cooking.
- (LAUGHS) - What? Your hobby is not cooking.
No, he doesn't need a hobby because his job is his hobby.
Well, if Dennis says his hobby is cooking, then - It's not.
- F Cooking is my hobby, Sarah.
Fine.
My hobby's using the toilet.
Nice.
Make time for one other.
Do something together, anything.
(TAKING DEEP BREATH): Okay.
Okay.
(GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) Okay, don't do that.
Don't do what? Don't win a point? No, we haven't even started a game.
No, don't whip it past me so I can't possibly return it.
I I just hit the ball.
How do I know whether you will or won't - be able to return it? - Oh, my God.
All right.
Let's get a game going.
You serve first.
Okay, listen.
How about, if the ball bounces twice, it's minus a point, but if you hit it without the ball bouncing at all, you get an extra point.
First one to 20.
What? No.
Let's just play a regular game.
So how can I play regular tennis fairly if I don't know the rules? Come on, this will be fun.
Dennis Tennis.
I don't want to play Dennis Tennis.
I want to play regular tennis.
- Well, I'm just gonna lose.
- Who cares? It's not about winning; it's about playing.
Sure.
- Fine.
- (SARAH SIGHS) Okay, why don't you try to serve properly? I think it's best if we at least try to play properly.
Yeah, I think the rules just get in the way of the fun.
No, it's fun when you play by the rules because then you're really playing.
Yeah, well, you're you're not really playing if your opponent is telling you how hard you can hit the ball.
- Oh, my God.
All right.
- And I doubt that Billie Jean King ever, uh, told, whoever what's her face Christie Evans, to go easy on her.
(GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) DENNIS (LAUGHING): Yeah! Come on, give me your best shot.
What? Where you going? Sarah, where you going? Home.
And it's Chris Evert.
Chris Evert! Christie Evans isn't anyone, you moron.
Well, uh, I'm sure she is someone, actually.
- Sarah! - (SARAH GROANS) Why couldn't we have just done the dancing thing? What is so awful about learning to dance with me? (WEAK GASP) Let me have your attention for a moment.
So you're talking about what? You're talking about Ha hang on a second.
Are you gonna smoke in this thing? Oh, they're they're gonna get us fake things.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- You know.
Yeah, I know those.
- Okay.
Okay, go ahead.
- Okay.
Bitching about that deal you shot, - how some son of a bitch don't wanna buy - NANCY: Bitch.
- Son of a bitch.
Bitching.
- Shh.
Shh.
Somebody that doesn't want to buy what you're selling.
Some broad you're trying to screw.
(CHUCKLING): Hang on.
This is good.
This is, like, really good.
But you're playing, like (GROANS) a much older guy, right? So, you know, try and give your voice a bit of depth.
You know what I mean? Like, weight yourself.
- (SIGHS) - What's that? - What's that for? - It's just drama group.
Well, it doesn't matter if it's just drama group.
You're good.
Like, really good.
Uh, sorry.
Go ahead.
Give it another shot.
Let me have your attention for a moment.
'Cause you're talking about what? You're talking about talking about that bitch you saw? Some son of a bitch who's trying to buy land? Somebody that doesn't want what you're selling? Some broad you're trying to screw? Put that coffee down! Coffee's for closers only.
You think I'm fuckin' with you? I am not fuckin' with you.
(SINGING INDISTINCTLY) Oh There's a jungle cat inside my door That's how it's been That's how it'll be.
WOMAN (ON TV): Okay, I have all my herbs here.
- (DOOR OPENS) - And I'm gonna just pick through and (DENNIS SIGHS, SHUTS DOOR) hopefully not get any stems in there.
- That looks good.
- DENNIS: Hmm.
Hey.
Okay, so - How was your screening? - (TV VOLUME LOWERS) Uh, good.
Yeah.
Good good response.
Oh.
What's this? Oh, I don't know.
I fell asleep.
- (SIGHS) - What time is it? - Um, I don't know.
1:00, 1:30.
- Oh, my God.
How was the party? It was fun.
Yeah.
(TV DRONING) - Who was there? - Uh You know, you wouldn't know any of 'em.
Usual crowd of assholes.
(CHUCKLES) But it was fun.
(SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE) I'm gonna get some water.
You want some water? (DENNIS GRUNTS) (FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING) (GRUNTS) - Out! - That doesn't matter.
- You hit it.
- It does matter.
That's an instinct, or a reflex or whatever.
You hit it a mile out.
No.
Doesn't count.
Nice catch.
Two points.
Ah! Fuck! - Ow.
- Ow.
(SCOFFS) Out.
So, do you want to see a movie, or are you too tired? I'm a little tired from last night, actually.
Oh, that's fine.
- You mind? - MAN: Dennis! Hey, man.
Who's that? - (HORN HONKING) - DENNIS: Hey, hey.
Hey, fellas.
- Hey, how you doing? - How you doing? Great to see you.
Yeah, what's going on? (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) Over there, with my, uh, wife.
DENNIS: Yeah.
So, what's new? (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) Um, hanging out.
Kids are good.
- (TIRES SCREECH) - MAN: Really, lady?! - (HORNS HONKING) - All right.
Fuck.
Shit.
Goddamn it! - (BICYCLE BELL RINGS) - Christ.
- MAN: Yo! - Fuck! - DENNIS: Yeah, they're good.
Everybody's good, you know.
- Awesome.
Here we are.
- Yeah, so - Hi.
- Hey.
- What's up? Uh, we were, um I'm Listen, man, I'll love you and leave you.
Check in with you later, next week.
- You gonna be around then? - Yep.
And I'll see you at that opening on Friday.
- Right.
Right, right, right, right.
Right, okay.
- Friday? Um, uh, see you later, man.
- Definitely.
- Good to see you.
- Yeah.
- Give my best to Gio.
- Will do.
- Great to see you.
Be well.
All right.
Okay.
Bye.
That was humiliating.
- What? Why? - Why? You didn't introduce me.
You left me on the other side I mean, what the fuck? - Are you ashamed of me? - What? No.
I didn't remember the guy's name, so I couldn't introduce you.
I know the guy's name.
That was fucking Ted Allen.
Not him, the other guy.
I didn't remember the other guy's name.
So what? Take the bullet.
Don't leave me standing there like a spare prick because you don't want to ask some guy to remind you of his name.
I mean, I would have liked to meet Ted Allen.
You did meet him.
- That's you, Nancy.
- Nice! (DENNIS GROANS) 15-40! Boom.
Okay, three points to anyone who can hit it as high as that light tower.
No.
Let's just keep the game DENNIS: Three points.
NANCY: Dad! Oh, shit.
Nancy, go get the ball.
You get the ball.
Come on.
Jack, go get the ball.
(SCOFFS) I don't even want to play.
You've literally been doing nothing this entire time.
- Just go get the ball.
- Go get the ball.
You haven't moved.
- Shut your face.
- Hey, I don't like that.
- That's not nice.
- (GRUNTS) - Oh - SARAH: Are you all right? Do I look all right? She hit me in my penis.
- DENNIS: You all right? - Nancy, that was not appropriate.
- All right? - Why'd you hit him in the penis? I didn't mean to hit him in the penis.
I meant to hit him in the balls.
- Okay, that's great.
- DENNIS: That's great.
- Could we go back to playing, please? - That's nice.
Are you happy you derailed that? That was an amazing derailment, Dennis.
- JACK: Oh, yeah, that's really funny.
- NANCY: I know, it's so funny.
DENNIS: Anyone else bored? I'm bored.
You're the only one that wants to play the regular rules.
First, you hit the guy in the penis, and then you wouldn't go get the ball.
SARAH: Okay, could we stop saying "penis" on the public court, please? JACK: You can't close the leads you're given, you can't close shit.
You are shit.
So hit the bricks, pal, and beat it, 'cause you are going out.
- The leads are weak.
- The leads are weak? Fucking leads are weak? You're weak.
I've been in this business 15 years.
- What's your name? - Fuck you.
That's my name.
You want to know why, mister? 'Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight.
I drove an $80,000 BMW.
That's my name.
And your name is "wanting.
" You can't play this man's game.
You can't close 'em, then go home and tell your wife your troubles.
Because only one thing counts in life.
Getting them to sign on the line which is dotted.
You hear me, you fucking maggots?! (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) (WHOOPS) (WHISTLES) (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) I forgot that line, but - Nobody noticed.
- Yeah, but I froze.
Did you see? It felt like 20 minutes.
- No, nobody noticed.
- I noticed.
- Except her.
- You were asleep, so shut your stupid face.
Well, you shouldn't have been looking at who was sleeping.
You should have been looking at the actors - acting to you.
- She's right.
- Yeah, well, you shouldn't have been there anyway.
- SARAH: That's true.
- It's not for kids.
- Well, anyway, - it was so boring it made me fall asleep.
- Okay - Shut up.
- Sorry.
- That's not true.
She was riveted.
- You shut up.
- You were riveting.
- Sorry to interrupt.
- That's okay.
- I saw you in the play earlier today.
You were very good.
- Oh, that's so sweet.
Thank you.
- JACK: Thank you.
Could I get a photo? Oh, uh, I don't think so, but thank you.
Oh, no, not of him.
Of him.
- I'm sorry.
- Uh, oh.
I am a huge fan.
I loved The Breaking.
- Thank you.
- Are you gonna be making more of them? Uh, no.
I mean, yeah, they're gonna make more, but my character, uh, the arc finished last season.
WOMAN: Oh, no.
Why? You and Alison, I mean, that is actually the relationship I found the most believable.
- You know, I couldn't agree with you more.
- I I was so rooting for them.
DENNIS: That was a good pairing.
And the audiences liked it.
But, you know, Thomas's character, they had to figure out a way for him to get back in, and so WOMAN: What? We've seen it.
It's run its course.
I think the audience wants something new.
I agree with you, you know? What So what was it like to step into the whole What are you doing? Sorry, I - We're having a family meal.
- DENNIS: Sarah.
- Sorry.
- No, don't be sorry.
I'm sorry.
And-and you, why don't you say, "I'm sorry, I'm with my family"? It just takes a minute.
You're his exact fan base, by the way.
Normally, he's embarrassed that all his fans are single women over 50, but nobody's stopped him in a while, so he's taking what he can get.
I I'm sorry.
Okay, well, you know what? Let's go.
- Wait, we're going? I don't - Yeah, we're gonna go.
Um, come on.
Come on, Jack.
(QUIETLY): I'm sorry.
I'm married.
I'm 47.
- I think it's over.
I think I'm done with this.
- DENNIS: Fine.
That's it, then.
I'm done, too.
Ow.
(SARAH GROANS) (SIGHS) - SARAH: Can I just ? - Oh, sure.
So, what happens now? I don't know.
We go home, I guess? Thing is, I'm kind of hungry.
Wouldn't mind eating.
Well, let's get something to eat.
I really thought we'd get to the end somehow, right? I mean, I really did, but I hate who I am with you now.
I catch myself sometimes looking at you, and I'm just waiting for you to fuck up.
It's just It just seems easier to be you.
And I envy you.
I, I envy your life and how you get to be.
It just looks like a lot more fun.
I know there's things that you worry about, too, but they seem like small things, and I get to carry around all the big heavy shit, and you just let me do it.
You just let me take that role because I'm good at it.
Maybe I don't want to be good at it, you know? Maybe I never wanted that role.
Maybe you never cared enough about me to stop and ask me if I wanted it.
I think you push me away.
I think you've always pushed me away from your life and the fun stuff and Like, you never ask me to come out with you to your parties or premieres or like I wouldn't like it, like, "Oh, I hate those people 'cause they're such assholes and I'm so sensible.
" I think you tried to separate me from the fun stuff in your life because you knew if you saw me there, if you saw me in it, you would realize that that's where I should be.
And then you'd have to feel bad about it.
You made it impossible for me to be a part of your life, Dennis, so don't act surprised when I say that we have nothing in common, because you engineered that.
(SIGHS) I'm sorry.
If I could go back and change any of that, I would, but but I can't.
But you're right.
You're right, and I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
Okay.
Thank you.
I'm an idiot.
I'm like a child.
A and, and, you know, if I'm not careful, I'm about five years away from being tragic.
I really don't want to be that.
How was the soup? I, uh, didn't even taste it.
I don't know.
Uh, hot? (LAUGHS) I I think I'm, I'm gonna get something.
What can I get you guys tonight? Um, can I have a burger, please? You like it medium, salad instead of fries, right? Yeah, no, um, yes, medium, but, uh, I'll have the fries.
Fries Where's the kids tonight? - At home.
- I like those guys.
Thank you.
That's very sweet.
No, really, I like them.
Don't like many kids, but I like those two.
(LAUGHS) You don't believe her? - No.
Somebody else's kids.
- (LAUGHS) - DENNIS: Well, I like them.
- (SARAH LAUGHS) (CONVERSATION CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY) - Yes? - Bye, Mom.
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
Call me when you get there, college boy.
- (LAUGHS): Okay.
Call me up every day.
- Yeah.
I will.
- Bye, kid.
I'll miss you.
- NANCY: I'm taking your PlayStation.
No, you won't.
Touch any of my stuff, and you're dead.
All right.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) (SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) NANCY: No, she said I could have it.
You're gonna be in college.
She said I could have your PlayStation, your Wii and your room for four years.
I know your password.
(CAR DOORS CLOSE) (GROANS): Oh Shit.
So here we go again - All right.
- Get right to it? - Yeah.
Let's do it.
- All right.
Backwards and forwards and forwards and backwards You can say anything, just don't say that word Play up and play the game - Changing to stay the same - Ooh - (CHUCKLES): Sorry.
Sorry.
- No, that was nice.
Good.
15-love.
All right.
All this remembering, we're none the wiser It's time to let go and say Don't mention the war Don't talk of those days - (GROANS): Oh - Sorry.
(LAUGHS): No, no.
That was a good shot.
Don't mention the war Let history lie Kiss the old days goodbye They're no help anymore Don't mention the war SARAH: Oy.
What time is it? Uh, ten to 6:00.
(EXHALES) Want to keep playing? Yes.
Your serve.
Five-four.
For the match? Don't mention the war Don't talk of those days - DENNIS: Wow.
That was good.
- Yeah.
SARAH: That was good.
What good is it for? Don't mention the war Let history lie Kiss the old days goodbye They're no help anymore No, don't mention the war Don't mention the war Don't talk of those days What good is it for?