Monday Monday (2009) s01e04 Episode Script
Episode 4
I think you're great.
Thought we were together and Well, it's complicated.
Isn't it? Can we agree the other night never happened? I didn't even know Roger had a blog.
Someone's pretending to be him and spreading malicious gossip about me and Alyson.
Things could become very difficult.
You think she was referring to Uxbridge Holdings? Leave it with me.
Stay out of my way or I swear to God I'll make your life a misery.
I sweated blood to get this job and I'll do anything to keep it.
So you'll be aware that the job will be based in Leeds.
That's perfect, actually.
My father's business used to be in Bradford.
I know the area very well.
Oh! Worked for the old man, did you? Well, yes, I did.
But that doesn't mean it was easy.
That's good.
There's some potential for difficulty in this role.
Our CEO Roger Sorsby doesn't entirely endorse our decision to bring in someone like you.
But rest assured that if you do your job, Roger won't be an issue for very long.
We're all very fond of him.
It's business, not personal.
£ Theme music (Shower water running) I'm telling you, Tash, you're so right.
I'm going to turn into a spinster.
I'm not saying I'm going to go out there and tart it up, I'm not.
I'm getting desperate.
I haven't had a snog in months from you know who.
Where are all the good-looking men? 'Morning! Steven.
Hi.
I knew you were in there.
OK.
No, really.
I did.
I'm totally not surprised to find you in our shower .
.
in our flat.
Naked.
Cool.
Natasha! What the hell is Steven doing in our shower? Oh, I can't believe you.
I mean I know you're a moral-free slut but Steven is out of bounds.
OK.
One, stop shouting in my ear.
And two, I didn't sleep with him.
He came around about midnight last night needing a sofa to sleep on.
Apparently the pipes have burst in Vince's house.
Why wasn't I aware of this? Because you always tell me not to wake you.
I mean if my mum rings or the Queen dies, or something.
Oh, God! I thought you'd be pleased, a fit, single bloke staying in the flat.
He's not single, though.
Who's he seeing? I can't tell you.
Oh! That means I know them.
I didn't say that.
Natasha, I promised, so please don't ask me.
It's Alyson.
No! Those filthy little beggars.
Look on the bright side.
He'll be handy if anyone breaks in.
Plus he can help us with those outstanding bills.
He's only stayed one night.
We can hardly charge him.
What outstanding bills? Let's just say that someone accidentally spent electricity money on a new pair of shoes.
Tough.
You'll have to find another way to make some cash.
He can't stay here.
It's too awkward, too much stress.
I'll just tell him "Steven, I'm sorry, but you can't".
End of story.
Yeah, of course you can.
No problem at all.
Are you sure? It's just till Vince gets the pipes fixed.
No worries.
Thanks.
And listen, I owe you an apology, accusing you of spreading gossip about me and Alyson.
I'm sorry.
Well, exactly.
I would never tell anyone.
Oh! Fresh coffee.
Just like pitching in help.
Does your lady friend know you're bunking with two gorgeous women? Or one gorgeous woman and one who tries really hard, bless her.
Sorry, what lady friend? Oh, yeah! I forgot I'm not meant to know about you and Alyson.
We grew up together.
I had to tell her.
It's the law.
Right.
And out of interest, who else knows? Just us, I'm afraid.
Of course, there are rumours, specially since that blog came out.
Young, good-looking man.
Hot, older female boss.
It's your classic Mills and Booner.
Don't know why the two of you have a problem with it.
I don't have a problem.
It's her.
Anyway, it's not a problem.
It's just the way she is.
You know Alyson - all about the work.
The woman is driven.
TV ANCHOR: Now accounting for 20% of sales and the supermarket own-label brands are great news for the store, but what does it mean for the consumer? Well, here to answer that question is Roger Sorsby.
Roger is head of the Butterworth Supermarket chain.
Morning to you, Roger.
Hello.
So, Roger, Could you explain the philosophy, Roger, behind the Butterworth's budget range? Well, it's really very simple.
BOTH: Affordable goods at affordable prices.
OK.
But there's affordable and then there's cheap.
No offence but your budget line is very cheap.
Isn't it? Well, we're a big company with many different kinds of customers.
Some of them are interested in quality and some aren't.
We cater for everyone.
So you're basically saying that some of your products are low quality.
Well, 21 pence for a loaf of bread, 15 pence for a can of beans.
I mean, you get what you pay for.
That's very frank, Roger.
Perhaps we'd better edit that bit out.
We're live, Roger.
Come on, I was just being honest.
Customers appreciate that.
"You get what you pay for".
Why on earth would you say that? Have you ever tried the budget baked beans, Alyson? No, I haven't actually.
But maybe I should and then I could go on national television and tell everyone how shit they are.
You're overreacting.
The press love stories like this.
All they need is a poor housewife with five obese kids living off our budget range.
Front-page headline - got what we paid for.
I'm going to have to bring outside help to try and control this.
Dan Hartson.
He's a PR man.
He has a lot of experience on stamping out things like this.
This will all blow over soon enough.
Well, the chairman doesn't seem to think so, but then again maybe he values quality a little more than you do.
I thought you looked very smart on the television.
Alyson.
Dan.
Thanks for coming in on such short notice.
No problem.
I nearly choked on my cornflakes when I saw your man do his spiel, half expected the call.
So, seeing this as an opportunity.
How do you mean? Assuming you want the top job at some point, there could be a vacancy pretty soon if you play this right.
Same old Dan, uh? Right now getting Roger to resign will make a bad situation worse.
So unfortunately for the moment We're firefighting.
Exactly, for the moment.
What if he was trying to be humorous? If anything, it's down to him not being funny as he thinks he is.
It is confidence to the brand meaning he can make fun of it.
Play it up even more.
I'm not as funny as I think I am.
As my wife tells me.
From now on better stick to my job being chief executive of Butterworth's, I'll leave the comedy to the professionals.
It should work for now.
Till a chance comes to really stick the knife in.
Almost feel sorry for the guy.
It's not personal, it's business.
Always was with you.
(Knocking) I'll get cracking on the press release.
Yep.
Steven here will arrange a temporary office for you.
OK.
No problem.
Yeah.
I'll just be a second.
I stayed at Sally and Natasha's, in case you were wondering.
Oh, right.
On the sofa, obviously.
Yeah, sorry.
No, it's cool.
So where were you off to last night? Out.
Doesn't matter.
It sort of does.
I turn up at your doorstep, nowhere to go, and you're busy heading out somewhere.
It was a business dinner.
Ah, right.
There's nothing in the diary.
Although, recently you pretty much come and go as you please.
Better sort out that office then.
Welcome to Butterworth's.
Welcome to the co coalface.
Good morning.
Welcome to the coalface.
Welcome to the coalface.
Christine, candidates are getting a bit restless there.
Plus it looks like I'm talking to a bunch of trolleys.
You'll be fine.
You've done this before.
Never sober.
That's a good thing.
Remember what happened last year? No.
Definitely a good thing, then.
Just stick to the schedule you'll be fine.
OK.
Welcome to the coalface.
Here we go.
I'm up.
I'm walking.
Good morning.
ALL: Good morning, Christine.
Welcome to the final stage of our graduate selection process.
Have you got what it takes .
.
to work in the retail industry? Coalface.
Yes, welcome to it.
Let's see what's in store for it, shall we? Go.
It's your basic office setup.
Dial 9 for an outside line, 0 for reception.
And which end do I speak into? Any problems, let me know.
Don't worry, pretty self-sufficient.
Wouldn't mind a latte if you've got time.
I used to do your job actually, for Alyson.
Really? Yeah.
For nearly two years.
She can be pretty demanding, right? And not just at work.
But then I guess you know that.
Yeah, sure.
Of course.
Two sugars in that latte.
Canteen's that way.
ANSWERING MACHINE: Alyson, it's me.
Don't know where you are, but if you could let me know.
Pretty hard to be your personal assistant if I don't know where your person is.
Get it together.
Just go on, get it together.
Have you brought some fags? Hello, Dad.
Hello, love.
Well.
No, I haven't brought you cigarettes.
You can have fruit like everyone else.
Fine.
I'll swap them with Vaclav.
Who's that? Night porter.
He gives you fags for your fruit.
You are joking.
That's outrageous.
So easy to wind you up, just like your mother.
Thank God that's the only similarity.
Oh, Dad! Alright.
Have you told her about me yet? Yeah.
She's not coming, is she? So, what have you got lined up for today? It's quite light.
Various factions felt that in view of certain comments made on breakfast television I see.
Roger can't be trusted.
They just want me to sit here and rot away.
Don't.
What? You're CEO for a reason.
Get out there.
Walk the floor, inspect the troops.
Great leaders inspire from the front-line.
Sorry.
No, you're right.
Maybe a walk along the trenches is just what I need.
Thank you, Jenny.
No.
Has your Power Rangers outfit arrived? You're going to have to respect me one day.
Vince, look at you and then look at me and think how unlikely that is.
Oh! I'm sorry.
I didn't realise you were a lollipop man.
Respect is now due.
Fire Safety Officer, actually.
And with great power comes great responsibility.
Wow! Lucky you, getting to wear that.
You know I'm a little bit jealous.
Poor me.
I only got promoted to marketing assistant.
Wines and spirits.
We've got quality and quantity.
Red, white, rose, vodka, gin.
Then there's your mixers, of course.
Lemonade, tonics, nice G & T on a summer's day.
Slice the lemon.
Would you like ice with that, Madam? Oh, God! Yes, please.
And over here we have detergents.
Excuse me.
Pasta sauce, where can I find some? Sorry, I don't work here.
But you want to, I take it.
Use your loaf.
Look up.
Sauces and condiments, aisle 7.
This job is all about helping the punters.
Roger, what a surprise.
Didn't expect to see you here.
I do like to stroll down from the ivory tower, Christine.
Everyone, Roger Sorsby, our chief executive.
Chin up.
The big challenge is can you recover from this.
Of course, I can.
The candidate, Christine.
Long lunch? Get the message about the meeting you missed? It would be easier if you weren't constantly popping out of the office.
I've been trying to deal with any fall-out from Roger's comments.
Ah, yes.
You and Dan, the man, saving the world together.
Dan, the PR man, yeah.
Didn't realise you used to work together.
What? Is that important? No, just wondered what's the story there.
Ok.
Yes, we did have a brief fling when he worked as my PA.
But that doesn't mean anything.
It was a long time ago.
I actually meant what's the story with you bringing him in.
You normally handle this kind of stuff on your own.
Ouch (!) I'm sorry.
No, it's cool.
(Mobile rings) I need to take this.
No, that means I need some privacy.
Sorry.
Hello.
Right.
Oh, it's all kicking off on the shop floor.
Roger's decided to go on a royal walkabout and Christine's hanging on by a thread.
I think she wanted some privacy.
Who's that? My predecessor.
Thanks for letting me know.
Bye.
Got a potential problem.
Can it wait? Roger's wandering around the shop floor pressing flesh, making himself visible.
Hardly low profile.
Oh, God! You OK? I'm just busy.
Look, I'll handle Roger.
That's what I'm here for after all.
I can do it.
OK, I'll call him.
Normally on this part of the tour we'd be putting you'll in a choler by making you watch Derrick here cutting slices of meat.
No offence to you, Derrick.
(Mobile rings) Excuse me.
But would that teach you anything? Would that excite you about the job? No.
And we wouldn't learn anything except which of you can go to sleep standing up.
So instead we're going to have a little competition.
Roger, we're due in fresh produce.
Two minutes.
Christine, it's OK.
As I was saying, a little contest.
Derrick is going to give you a batch of Butterworth's best pork pies.
You've ten minutes.
Let's see how many of them you can shift.
Boo.
You're such an arse.
Yeah, sorry.
I will make up to you tonight.
Why? What's happening tonight? Flat night out, yeah.
Feel the need to go out, live it up, have a laugh.
I like laughter.
Cool, we're on.
Cool.
We're not going to do anything.
I'm serious, he's just a mate.
I've made enough mistakes in the past.
I definitely think he's pissed of with Alyson about something though.
So if ever there was a perfect time, it would be OK.
You're not trying to pull him.
No problem.
It's just as well because that outfit - 1987 called.
It wants its wardrobe back.
Hey! Don't suppose I could borrow Thank you.
(Laughs) (Mobile rings) No! Hi.
Oh! I've just been Rogered.
The candidates who've got a big day tomorrow, he's buying vodka-tonics, but I can't join in.
It would be bad, right? I am being held hostage, you know.
Help! Christine, I've got plans.
Then I'm telling you as your manager that you are required to be here.
It's part of the job description.
So chop-chop.
Quick as you can.
Ok, groomers, are we ready for fun, fun, fun? Slight change of plan.
I would knock a few of those funs off.
Oh! A toast.
To getting out of the office and doing things the old way.
We're working and playing hard with the way of life.
To the old ways.
ALL: To the old ways.
Never think of it as just a job.
If you lay bricks, be the best bricklayer.
If you run a company, run it with your heart.
Cheers.
Ready? After me I'm very sure congaing is not in my job description.
Well, I couldn't help but notice that you had a nice supply of vodka in your freezer.
If you're lucky, I might even play barman.
We saw things tonight no person should ever witness.
We did.
We saw our very own Roger Sorsby leading a conga line to the kebab shop.
Unfortunately.
(Screams) Just kidding.
We saw an innocent young man being corrupted by your flatmate.
He must be in hell right now.
Yeah.
And we saw Christine, poor Christine, forced to drink mineral water.
So I say for the rest of the night, we drink to forget.
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Bit weird, but I actually like that.
Thank you.
(Mobile rings) Sorry, I'm Hi.
Hi, I just wanted to say goodnight.
Did I wake you? No.
I was just about to head off to bed actually.
I just called because .
.
well, I just called.
So how are you? I'm fine.
Thanks for asking.
Alright.
Ok, so .
.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Yeah.
I miss you.
Yeah, me too.
I Got to get up early.
Yeah.
Some other time, eh? Yeah, some other time.
(Snores) (Machine buzzing) Oh! Ah! Anybody fancies an unnecessary pint? Nightcap, on Butterworth's.
(All laugh) Nothing happened.
Graduate interviews are likely to take up most of the morning.
Oh, and Clara called to check if you were still alive.
Forgot to ring home last night.
Right.
Lively one.
(Cheering) Just a quiet dinner with the candidates.
Getting to know them.
Exercising that famous sense of humour of yours.
I think you're very funny, no matter what the papers say.
Thank you, Jenny.
Oh! Oh, God! Why is work so boring? And so creepy as well.
Freeze frame.
What's wrong with this picture? Naked flame, fan heater, the joss sticks, everyone's looking at Blondie.
It's an accident waiting to happen.
Extinguish them, please.
No.
Those do stink.
Fine, whatever.
No.
Don't put them out because they smell.
put them out because they're dangerous.
Surely that's the same thing.
If you're stupid, yeah.
You know what, Karen? The smell's not as bad as I thought.
You keep them burning, babe.
You don't overrule me on this.
I'm your superior.
I'm fire safety officer, you're marketing assistant.
That does not make you my superior.
It bloody does.
Bloody doesn't.
It sort of does.
Really? The ladder of power.
But hey, what's an assistant's position compared with a fire safety officer? It's life or death you're dealing with here, Vince.
We're all a bit under the cosh here, since our glorious leader's comments about our crappy products.
Come on, let's focus on some work here.
Come on.
At ease.
OK, what was that? On the record, I don't know what you mean.
Off the record, when I told him I made you assistant, he cried.
No! On his phone, in my car, in the office.
I asked HR to make him fire safety officer.
Spoonful of sugar helps your medicine go down.
Don't.
It's quite sad.
No.
Floods, famine, war, puppies with AIDS.
That's sad.
This is just another day with Vince.
Is it your birthday? Yeah.
How old are you? That is a closely guarded state secret.
Really? Yeah.
So nobody knows.
No.
Why? Why do you care how old he is? I don't care.
It's just a bit of fun.
Guess Max's age and whoever gets it right wins the jackpot.
BOTH: 38.
Whoa! OK, that was cool.
Ah! 38's already taken.
BOTH: 40.
Literally, it gives me shivers when you do that.
Right, 40 it is then, girls.
That'll be five pounds, please.
Thank you.
Can we get started? Yeah.
Sally? Where are the first candidates? Right.
Giles and Tom, both no shows.
Apparently nobody's seen them since last night.
You think I'm a joke? What? Me.
Am I a joke? Ah! Do you want me to be honest? Yes.
No.
Maybe.
Then yes, no, maybe.
Max gave me the position of fire safety officer.
It's meaningless.
Just meant to keep me quiet.
So you've got the title but none of the power.
I should be more like you.
You don't stand for any crap.
You don't let people muck you around.
No.
I don't suppose I do.
Just give me a sec.
Hi.
Hi.
So you sleep OK? Hm, like a baby.
Listen Young Steven, any sign of Ally yet? Ally? Right, Alyson.
Sorry, don't know where she is.
Thought you were supposed to be her assistant.
Let me know when she arrives.
Shit's about to hit the fan, folks.
Whoa.
Nothing.
Nothing at all.
I'm not saying anything's going on, but Late nights, always away from the office, Dan Hartson buzzing around.
Now I sound like a girl.
You don't.
Sometimes I wonder if I really know her at all.
OK, now you sound like a girl.
Yeah.
What would you do in this situation? What would I do? Hm.
I'm probably the wrong person to ask.
I'm bad at giving advice.
Oh, shit! Candidates, interviews.
Sorry.
We'll finish this later.
You work too hard, always trying to be the best.
Just like your dad.
Someone once told me that when you're on your deathbed, no-one ever says "I wish you'd spent more time at work".
Maybe you could put that on my tombstone, as a joke like.
What are you going to put? Oh, God! I don't know.
Do me a favour.
Don't let your mother choose.
You do it.
Lie if you have to.
Promise you'll be here for me, Ally.
Of course, I will.
So he thinks she's messing around behind his back? He didn't say that.
Well, he sort of did.
And what did you say? Nothing, just nodded.
Looks pathetic, called him a girl.
OK, no.
Not fine.
Then you say "Steven, that's terrible".
And then you add you've noticed it, but you didn't want to mention it.
What? Tell him I think Alyson's cheating on him? Yeah.
But I don't He's already got doubts.
You just want to give him another shove.
That's evil.
Possibly.
Depends on how much you want him.
'Morning, just.
You OK? Yeah, I'm OK.
Well, get ready to feel better than OK, because today is your lucky day.
Picture this - the future of Butterworth's, two of our graduate interviewees in custody as we speak.
Failure to settle a hefty tab at Lap Attack.
Drunk and very disorderly.
So? They're saying our CEO dragged them there.
Promised to stand the night with his Butterworth's card.
Only he bailed.
Left them high and dry.
I'm hearing ugly terms, Alyson.
Violated, betrayed, tabloids.
It's not looking pretty.
One of the boys took a very nice video of him on his phone, tucking a fiver into the G-string of a busty young thing.
I reckon you have a window of an hour before they're bailed.
Well, we need a strategy.
I don't think you're hearing me - Roger's broken the cardinal rules of business.
Two high profile errors, one right after the other.
Exactly.
Save Butterworth's, bury Roger.
Just what you've been waiting for.
Do the press know? Not yet.
Dan Hartson's got decent contacts at the station, and he thinks the police won't leak it.
The boys will.
If charged, they'll have a criminal record.
They'll be lucky to get check-out work.
They're bound to try and salvage this somehow.
Stupid of me.
Thought I saw myself in that lad.
You know, young, eager to learn.
41 years I've given to this company.
Feel like I've wasted my whole bloody life.
I can't keep bailing you out, Roger.
It's not what I'm here for.
Dinner.
What? I'm cooking dinner tonight.
Cool.
Natasha has this thing she goes to, so it would just be you and me.
If that's weird, I could That probably will be weird.
Yeah.
But then pretty much everything you do is weird.
I like that, so what time are we eating? 7 o'clock.
Come on, guys.
I said no party, no fuss.
It's just another day on my calendar.
(Laughs) ALL: Surprise! Surprise.
Too much, people, too much.
Wow! Look at that cake.
(Phone rings) Christine Francis.
No, she's not.
Can I take a message? Right.
I see.
Oh, dear! Seriously, guys.
I hate birthdays.
To be reminded that although one doesn't appear it on the outside, each day one is getting ol How old are you? She's just very excited about the sweepstake we've been running.
We all are - guess Max's age.
As you know, I don't approve of that.
Gambling.
At the risk of pooping the party, I can reveal, that I am 38 years young.
OK, let's see 38.
That's me.
I've won.
Shoots, scores.
Congratulations.
Oh, Alyson.
Yes? I need to Yeah, we should talk.
Can you wait upstairs, please? Right.
I did a course once where No.
People in these situations What situations, Christine? Things like divorce, moving house .
.
bereavement.
What do you mean? Alyson, the hospital Don't, don't say it.
Sorry, look.
It's your father.
I told you don't say it, please.
I could organise some counselling if it'd help.
You know, for example, when Princess Diana died.
But now's not the time.
No, because I have to go and speak to the candidates about Roger now.
We spent the night in jail because of him.
So what do we get? Nothing.
And after I put up with all that "be all you can be".
"If you're a brick layer, be the best brick layer in the world".
Pathetic, isn't it? I suppose it is.
I suppose he's just like that though.
Some people live for their work.
That is my one and only offer.
Is this a joke? I don't think either of you realise how lucky you are.
You see, normally I'd sit back.
Let this play out.
I'd be happy to watch you humiliate Roger and yourselves, because make no mistake, nobody would dream of hiring you after this.
I'd make sure of it.
Today though Today's different.
You are going to look at my generous offer and you are going to realise what a great deal it is.
Then you're going to nod and say "Thank you, Miss Cartmell".
Thank you, Miss Cartmell.
You've painted me? Yes.
In the nude? Fig leaf.
Very small fig leaf.
Make a wish.
What? (Clapping and cheering) Only 40 once.
I'm 38.
Come on, keep up.
No, you're definitely 40.
Born in 1968.
No, he wasn't.
1968.
It's on his personal record.
Yeah, right (!) Can't remember where I put my house keys, but names and dates haunt me.
1968 - Grenoble, winter Olympics, assassination of Martin Luther King, birth of Max.
Absolutely.
You told me that you were 38.
What? Don't look at me, he's the one who lied about his age.
Alright, it's 40.
No-one's going to admit to being 40, are they? Shoots, scores.
Your tie! What? Your tie! (All scream) (Screams) (Continues screaming) Vince.
Yes.
It is my unfortunate duty to inform you that you no longer hold the position of fire safety officer.
Thank you, sir.
You're welcome.
Anybody for a piece of cake? Something's happened.
It's not good.
What? I had to tell Alyson her dad died.
Yeah.
I don't think I handled it very well.
Oh! That's awful.
I'm alright now.
For Alyson.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
Does Steven know? I don't know.
Wasn't planning on spreading it around.
Should I be? No, I shouldn't.
I have to hire them both? Alyson says it's the best way to keep them quiet.
As long as you pay the lap-dancing tab, you're in the clear.
Welcome to Butterworth's.
So many excellent candidates, we couldn't choose just one.
Jenny, could show these gentlemen the way to HR, please? Of course.
Follow me.
Alyson sorted this? Why? Honestly, don't know.
Guess she thinks your old-fashioned quality is still an asset to the company.
Dan, if I were you, I'd watch your tongue.
Don't underestimate me.
With all due respect, you're still here because of Alyson.
You got lucky twice.
But you know what they say - bad things come in threes.
Jenny, can you bring me everything to do with Uxbridge Holdings.
Yes.
May I ask why? Just in case my luck runs out.
It's time to shut it down.
I didn't even know he was ill.
I .
.
didn't know anything.
You should probably make sure she's alright.
Don't worry about dinner.
I'm a bad cook.
You probably dodged a bullet with that one.
Thanks.
What are you doing here? I thought maybe you'd need someone.
Well, I don't.
Why didn't you You could've told me.
You know, I promised him I'd be here for him and I wasn't.
I was in some bloody police station bailing out two idiots because of work.
And I don't know Don't touch me.
Alyson, it's OK.
No, it's not.
You see You can't say that.
I promised him I'd be here.
After everything he did for me, I couldn't even do that, could I? Sh.
OK, OK.
Come on, let's get out of here.
No, please.
Just Just don't leave me.
Please don't leave me.
I'm not going to go.
You know that.
Here you go.
It'll be so nice to get the place back to ourselves.
Yeah.
Boys smell.
Yeah, they do.
I know what'll cheer you up.
Not that you need cheering up as such, but check these babies out.
Is that the electricity money? Look, bills come and go, but shoes are forever.
Oh, my God! Can I try them on? Oh! They're chocolate for your feet.
OK.
What do you reckon? Perfect.
Can you walk in them? Think so.
Tash! Ok, don't move.
I'll find a torch.
(Screams) Help me.
(Both giggle) They're from him.
Who him? Michael him.
It said "Sorry.
Love Michael" Maybe it's time we came out.
I don't know where my head was at.
I was impressed by things I'm not impressed by anymore.
Christine, your job-swap's here.
He's terrific, he's so talented.
Oh, my God! You are so way This is not how it looks.
Somebody better have a very good explanation.
Closed Captions by CSI
Thought we were together and Well, it's complicated.
Isn't it? Can we agree the other night never happened? I didn't even know Roger had a blog.
Someone's pretending to be him and spreading malicious gossip about me and Alyson.
Things could become very difficult.
You think she was referring to Uxbridge Holdings? Leave it with me.
Stay out of my way or I swear to God I'll make your life a misery.
I sweated blood to get this job and I'll do anything to keep it.
So you'll be aware that the job will be based in Leeds.
That's perfect, actually.
My father's business used to be in Bradford.
I know the area very well.
Oh! Worked for the old man, did you? Well, yes, I did.
But that doesn't mean it was easy.
That's good.
There's some potential for difficulty in this role.
Our CEO Roger Sorsby doesn't entirely endorse our decision to bring in someone like you.
But rest assured that if you do your job, Roger won't be an issue for very long.
We're all very fond of him.
It's business, not personal.
£ Theme music (Shower water running) I'm telling you, Tash, you're so right.
I'm going to turn into a spinster.
I'm not saying I'm going to go out there and tart it up, I'm not.
I'm getting desperate.
I haven't had a snog in months from you know who.
Where are all the good-looking men? 'Morning! Steven.
Hi.
I knew you were in there.
OK.
No, really.
I did.
I'm totally not surprised to find you in our shower .
.
in our flat.
Naked.
Cool.
Natasha! What the hell is Steven doing in our shower? Oh, I can't believe you.
I mean I know you're a moral-free slut but Steven is out of bounds.
OK.
One, stop shouting in my ear.
And two, I didn't sleep with him.
He came around about midnight last night needing a sofa to sleep on.
Apparently the pipes have burst in Vince's house.
Why wasn't I aware of this? Because you always tell me not to wake you.
I mean if my mum rings or the Queen dies, or something.
Oh, God! I thought you'd be pleased, a fit, single bloke staying in the flat.
He's not single, though.
Who's he seeing? I can't tell you.
Oh! That means I know them.
I didn't say that.
Natasha, I promised, so please don't ask me.
It's Alyson.
No! Those filthy little beggars.
Look on the bright side.
He'll be handy if anyone breaks in.
Plus he can help us with those outstanding bills.
He's only stayed one night.
We can hardly charge him.
What outstanding bills? Let's just say that someone accidentally spent electricity money on a new pair of shoes.
Tough.
You'll have to find another way to make some cash.
He can't stay here.
It's too awkward, too much stress.
I'll just tell him "Steven, I'm sorry, but you can't".
End of story.
Yeah, of course you can.
No problem at all.
Are you sure? It's just till Vince gets the pipes fixed.
No worries.
Thanks.
And listen, I owe you an apology, accusing you of spreading gossip about me and Alyson.
I'm sorry.
Well, exactly.
I would never tell anyone.
Oh! Fresh coffee.
Just like pitching in help.
Does your lady friend know you're bunking with two gorgeous women? Or one gorgeous woman and one who tries really hard, bless her.
Sorry, what lady friend? Oh, yeah! I forgot I'm not meant to know about you and Alyson.
We grew up together.
I had to tell her.
It's the law.
Right.
And out of interest, who else knows? Just us, I'm afraid.
Of course, there are rumours, specially since that blog came out.
Young, good-looking man.
Hot, older female boss.
It's your classic Mills and Booner.
Don't know why the two of you have a problem with it.
I don't have a problem.
It's her.
Anyway, it's not a problem.
It's just the way she is.
You know Alyson - all about the work.
The woman is driven.
TV ANCHOR: Now accounting for 20% of sales and the supermarket own-label brands are great news for the store, but what does it mean for the consumer? Well, here to answer that question is Roger Sorsby.
Roger is head of the Butterworth Supermarket chain.
Morning to you, Roger.
Hello.
So, Roger, Could you explain the philosophy, Roger, behind the Butterworth's budget range? Well, it's really very simple.
BOTH: Affordable goods at affordable prices.
OK.
But there's affordable and then there's cheap.
No offence but your budget line is very cheap.
Isn't it? Well, we're a big company with many different kinds of customers.
Some of them are interested in quality and some aren't.
We cater for everyone.
So you're basically saying that some of your products are low quality.
Well, 21 pence for a loaf of bread, 15 pence for a can of beans.
I mean, you get what you pay for.
That's very frank, Roger.
Perhaps we'd better edit that bit out.
We're live, Roger.
Come on, I was just being honest.
Customers appreciate that.
"You get what you pay for".
Why on earth would you say that? Have you ever tried the budget baked beans, Alyson? No, I haven't actually.
But maybe I should and then I could go on national television and tell everyone how shit they are.
You're overreacting.
The press love stories like this.
All they need is a poor housewife with five obese kids living off our budget range.
Front-page headline - got what we paid for.
I'm going to have to bring outside help to try and control this.
Dan Hartson.
He's a PR man.
He has a lot of experience on stamping out things like this.
This will all blow over soon enough.
Well, the chairman doesn't seem to think so, but then again maybe he values quality a little more than you do.
I thought you looked very smart on the television.
Alyson.
Dan.
Thanks for coming in on such short notice.
No problem.
I nearly choked on my cornflakes when I saw your man do his spiel, half expected the call.
So, seeing this as an opportunity.
How do you mean? Assuming you want the top job at some point, there could be a vacancy pretty soon if you play this right.
Same old Dan, uh? Right now getting Roger to resign will make a bad situation worse.
So unfortunately for the moment We're firefighting.
Exactly, for the moment.
What if he was trying to be humorous? If anything, it's down to him not being funny as he thinks he is.
It is confidence to the brand meaning he can make fun of it.
Play it up even more.
I'm not as funny as I think I am.
As my wife tells me.
From now on better stick to my job being chief executive of Butterworth's, I'll leave the comedy to the professionals.
It should work for now.
Till a chance comes to really stick the knife in.
Almost feel sorry for the guy.
It's not personal, it's business.
Always was with you.
(Knocking) I'll get cracking on the press release.
Yep.
Steven here will arrange a temporary office for you.
OK.
No problem.
Yeah.
I'll just be a second.
I stayed at Sally and Natasha's, in case you were wondering.
Oh, right.
On the sofa, obviously.
Yeah, sorry.
No, it's cool.
So where were you off to last night? Out.
Doesn't matter.
It sort of does.
I turn up at your doorstep, nowhere to go, and you're busy heading out somewhere.
It was a business dinner.
Ah, right.
There's nothing in the diary.
Although, recently you pretty much come and go as you please.
Better sort out that office then.
Welcome to Butterworth's.
Welcome to the co coalface.
Good morning.
Welcome to the coalface.
Welcome to the coalface.
Christine, candidates are getting a bit restless there.
Plus it looks like I'm talking to a bunch of trolleys.
You'll be fine.
You've done this before.
Never sober.
That's a good thing.
Remember what happened last year? No.
Definitely a good thing, then.
Just stick to the schedule you'll be fine.
OK.
Welcome to the coalface.
Here we go.
I'm up.
I'm walking.
Good morning.
ALL: Good morning, Christine.
Welcome to the final stage of our graduate selection process.
Have you got what it takes .
.
to work in the retail industry? Coalface.
Yes, welcome to it.
Let's see what's in store for it, shall we? Go.
It's your basic office setup.
Dial 9 for an outside line, 0 for reception.
And which end do I speak into? Any problems, let me know.
Don't worry, pretty self-sufficient.
Wouldn't mind a latte if you've got time.
I used to do your job actually, for Alyson.
Really? Yeah.
For nearly two years.
She can be pretty demanding, right? And not just at work.
But then I guess you know that.
Yeah, sure.
Of course.
Two sugars in that latte.
Canteen's that way.
ANSWERING MACHINE: Alyson, it's me.
Don't know where you are, but if you could let me know.
Pretty hard to be your personal assistant if I don't know where your person is.
Get it together.
Just go on, get it together.
Have you brought some fags? Hello, Dad.
Hello, love.
Well.
No, I haven't brought you cigarettes.
You can have fruit like everyone else.
Fine.
I'll swap them with Vaclav.
Who's that? Night porter.
He gives you fags for your fruit.
You are joking.
That's outrageous.
So easy to wind you up, just like your mother.
Thank God that's the only similarity.
Oh, Dad! Alright.
Have you told her about me yet? Yeah.
She's not coming, is she? So, what have you got lined up for today? It's quite light.
Various factions felt that in view of certain comments made on breakfast television I see.
Roger can't be trusted.
They just want me to sit here and rot away.
Don't.
What? You're CEO for a reason.
Get out there.
Walk the floor, inspect the troops.
Great leaders inspire from the front-line.
Sorry.
No, you're right.
Maybe a walk along the trenches is just what I need.
Thank you, Jenny.
No.
Has your Power Rangers outfit arrived? You're going to have to respect me one day.
Vince, look at you and then look at me and think how unlikely that is.
Oh! I'm sorry.
I didn't realise you were a lollipop man.
Respect is now due.
Fire Safety Officer, actually.
And with great power comes great responsibility.
Wow! Lucky you, getting to wear that.
You know I'm a little bit jealous.
Poor me.
I only got promoted to marketing assistant.
Wines and spirits.
We've got quality and quantity.
Red, white, rose, vodka, gin.
Then there's your mixers, of course.
Lemonade, tonics, nice G & T on a summer's day.
Slice the lemon.
Would you like ice with that, Madam? Oh, God! Yes, please.
And over here we have detergents.
Excuse me.
Pasta sauce, where can I find some? Sorry, I don't work here.
But you want to, I take it.
Use your loaf.
Look up.
Sauces and condiments, aisle 7.
This job is all about helping the punters.
Roger, what a surprise.
Didn't expect to see you here.
I do like to stroll down from the ivory tower, Christine.
Everyone, Roger Sorsby, our chief executive.
Chin up.
The big challenge is can you recover from this.
Of course, I can.
The candidate, Christine.
Long lunch? Get the message about the meeting you missed? It would be easier if you weren't constantly popping out of the office.
I've been trying to deal with any fall-out from Roger's comments.
Ah, yes.
You and Dan, the man, saving the world together.
Dan, the PR man, yeah.
Didn't realise you used to work together.
What? Is that important? No, just wondered what's the story there.
Ok.
Yes, we did have a brief fling when he worked as my PA.
But that doesn't mean anything.
It was a long time ago.
I actually meant what's the story with you bringing him in.
You normally handle this kind of stuff on your own.
Ouch (!) I'm sorry.
No, it's cool.
(Mobile rings) I need to take this.
No, that means I need some privacy.
Sorry.
Hello.
Right.
Oh, it's all kicking off on the shop floor.
Roger's decided to go on a royal walkabout and Christine's hanging on by a thread.
I think she wanted some privacy.
Who's that? My predecessor.
Thanks for letting me know.
Bye.
Got a potential problem.
Can it wait? Roger's wandering around the shop floor pressing flesh, making himself visible.
Hardly low profile.
Oh, God! You OK? I'm just busy.
Look, I'll handle Roger.
That's what I'm here for after all.
I can do it.
OK, I'll call him.
Normally on this part of the tour we'd be putting you'll in a choler by making you watch Derrick here cutting slices of meat.
No offence to you, Derrick.
(Mobile rings) Excuse me.
But would that teach you anything? Would that excite you about the job? No.
And we wouldn't learn anything except which of you can go to sleep standing up.
So instead we're going to have a little competition.
Roger, we're due in fresh produce.
Two minutes.
Christine, it's OK.
As I was saying, a little contest.
Derrick is going to give you a batch of Butterworth's best pork pies.
You've ten minutes.
Let's see how many of them you can shift.
Boo.
You're such an arse.
Yeah, sorry.
I will make up to you tonight.
Why? What's happening tonight? Flat night out, yeah.
Feel the need to go out, live it up, have a laugh.
I like laughter.
Cool, we're on.
Cool.
We're not going to do anything.
I'm serious, he's just a mate.
I've made enough mistakes in the past.
I definitely think he's pissed of with Alyson about something though.
So if ever there was a perfect time, it would be OK.
You're not trying to pull him.
No problem.
It's just as well because that outfit - 1987 called.
It wants its wardrobe back.
Hey! Don't suppose I could borrow Thank you.
(Laughs) (Mobile rings) No! Hi.
Oh! I've just been Rogered.
The candidates who've got a big day tomorrow, he's buying vodka-tonics, but I can't join in.
It would be bad, right? I am being held hostage, you know.
Help! Christine, I've got plans.
Then I'm telling you as your manager that you are required to be here.
It's part of the job description.
So chop-chop.
Quick as you can.
Ok, groomers, are we ready for fun, fun, fun? Slight change of plan.
I would knock a few of those funs off.
Oh! A toast.
To getting out of the office and doing things the old way.
We're working and playing hard with the way of life.
To the old ways.
ALL: To the old ways.
Never think of it as just a job.
If you lay bricks, be the best bricklayer.
If you run a company, run it with your heart.
Cheers.
Ready? After me I'm very sure congaing is not in my job description.
Well, I couldn't help but notice that you had a nice supply of vodka in your freezer.
If you're lucky, I might even play barman.
We saw things tonight no person should ever witness.
We did.
We saw our very own Roger Sorsby leading a conga line to the kebab shop.
Unfortunately.
(Screams) Just kidding.
We saw an innocent young man being corrupted by your flatmate.
He must be in hell right now.
Yeah.
And we saw Christine, poor Christine, forced to drink mineral water.
So I say for the rest of the night, we drink to forget.
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Bit weird, but I actually like that.
Thank you.
(Mobile rings) Sorry, I'm Hi.
Hi, I just wanted to say goodnight.
Did I wake you? No.
I was just about to head off to bed actually.
I just called because .
.
well, I just called.
So how are you? I'm fine.
Thanks for asking.
Alright.
Ok, so .
.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Yeah.
I miss you.
Yeah, me too.
I Got to get up early.
Yeah.
Some other time, eh? Yeah, some other time.
(Snores) (Machine buzzing) Oh! Ah! Anybody fancies an unnecessary pint? Nightcap, on Butterworth's.
(All laugh) Nothing happened.
Graduate interviews are likely to take up most of the morning.
Oh, and Clara called to check if you were still alive.
Forgot to ring home last night.
Right.
Lively one.
(Cheering) Just a quiet dinner with the candidates.
Getting to know them.
Exercising that famous sense of humour of yours.
I think you're very funny, no matter what the papers say.
Thank you, Jenny.
Oh! Oh, God! Why is work so boring? And so creepy as well.
Freeze frame.
What's wrong with this picture? Naked flame, fan heater, the joss sticks, everyone's looking at Blondie.
It's an accident waiting to happen.
Extinguish them, please.
No.
Those do stink.
Fine, whatever.
No.
Don't put them out because they smell.
put them out because they're dangerous.
Surely that's the same thing.
If you're stupid, yeah.
You know what, Karen? The smell's not as bad as I thought.
You keep them burning, babe.
You don't overrule me on this.
I'm your superior.
I'm fire safety officer, you're marketing assistant.
That does not make you my superior.
It bloody does.
Bloody doesn't.
It sort of does.
Really? The ladder of power.
But hey, what's an assistant's position compared with a fire safety officer? It's life or death you're dealing with here, Vince.
We're all a bit under the cosh here, since our glorious leader's comments about our crappy products.
Come on, let's focus on some work here.
Come on.
At ease.
OK, what was that? On the record, I don't know what you mean.
Off the record, when I told him I made you assistant, he cried.
No! On his phone, in my car, in the office.
I asked HR to make him fire safety officer.
Spoonful of sugar helps your medicine go down.
Don't.
It's quite sad.
No.
Floods, famine, war, puppies with AIDS.
That's sad.
This is just another day with Vince.
Is it your birthday? Yeah.
How old are you? That is a closely guarded state secret.
Really? Yeah.
So nobody knows.
No.
Why? Why do you care how old he is? I don't care.
It's just a bit of fun.
Guess Max's age and whoever gets it right wins the jackpot.
BOTH: 38.
Whoa! OK, that was cool.
Ah! 38's already taken.
BOTH: 40.
Literally, it gives me shivers when you do that.
Right, 40 it is then, girls.
That'll be five pounds, please.
Thank you.
Can we get started? Yeah.
Sally? Where are the first candidates? Right.
Giles and Tom, both no shows.
Apparently nobody's seen them since last night.
You think I'm a joke? What? Me.
Am I a joke? Ah! Do you want me to be honest? Yes.
No.
Maybe.
Then yes, no, maybe.
Max gave me the position of fire safety officer.
It's meaningless.
Just meant to keep me quiet.
So you've got the title but none of the power.
I should be more like you.
You don't stand for any crap.
You don't let people muck you around.
No.
I don't suppose I do.
Just give me a sec.
Hi.
Hi.
So you sleep OK? Hm, like a baby.
Listen Young Steven, any sign of Ally yet? Ally? Right, Alyson.
Sorry, don't know where she is.
Thought you were supposed to be her assistant.
Let me know when she arrives.
Shit's about to hit the fan, folks.
Whoa.
Nothing.
Nothing at all.
I'm not saying anything's going on, but Late nights, always away from the office, Dan Hartson buzzing around.
Now I sound like a girl.
You don't.
Sometimes I wonder if I really know her at all.
OK, now you sound like a girl.
Yeah.
What would you do in this situation? What would I do? Hm.
I'm probably the wrong person to ask.
I'm bad at giving advice.
Oh, shit! Candidates, interviews.
Sorry.
We'll finish this later.
You work too hard, always trying to be the best.
Just like your dad.
Someone once told me that when you're on your deathbed, no-one ever says "I wish you'd spent more time at work".
Maybe you could put that on my tombstone, as a joke like.
What are you going to put? Oh, God! I don't know.
Do me a favour.
Don't let your mother choose.
You do it.
Lie if you have to.
Promise you'll be here for me, Ally.
Of course, I will.
So he thinks she's messing around behind his back? He didn't say that.
Well, he sort of did.
And what did you say? Nothing, just nodded.
Looks pathetic, called him a girl.
OK, no.
Not fine.
Then you say "Steven, that's terrible".
And then you add you've noticed it, but you didn't want to mention it.
What? Tell him I think Alyson's cheating on him? Yeah.
But I don't He's already got doubts.
You just want to give him another shove.
That's evil.
Possibly.
Depends on how much you want him.
'Morning, just.
You OK? Yeah, I'm OK.
Well, get ready to feel better than OK, because today is your lucky day.
Picture this - the future of Butterworth's, two of our graduate interviewees in custody as we speak.
Failure to settle a hefty tab at Lap Attack.
Drunk and very disorderly.
So? They're saying our CEO dragged them there.
Promised to stand the night with his Butterworth's card.
Only he bailed.
Left them high and dry.
I'm hearing ugly terms, Alyson.
Violated, betrayed, tabloids.
It's not looking pretty.
One of the boys took a very nice video of him on his phone, tucking a fiver into the G-string of a busty young thing.
I reckon you have a window of an hour before they're bailed.
Well, we need a strategy.
I don't think you're hearing me - Roger's broken the cardinal rules of business.
Two high profile errors, one right after the other.
Exactly.
Save Butterworth's, bury Roger.
Just what you've been waiting for.
Do the press know? Not yet.
Dan Hartson's got decent contacts at the station, and he thinks the police won't leak it.
The boys will.
If charged, they'll have a criminal record.
They'll be lucky to get check-out work.
They're bound to try and salvage this somehow.
Stupid of me.
Thought I saw myself in that lad.
You know, young, eager to learn.
41 years I've given to this company.
Feel like I've wasted my whole bloody life.
I can't keep bailing you out, Roger.
It's not what I'm here for.
Dinner.
What? I'm cooking dinner tonight.
Cool.
Natasha has this thing she goes to, so it would just be you and me.
If that's weird, I could That probably will be weird.
Yeah.
But then pretty much everything you do is weird.
I like that, so what time are we eating? 7 o'clock.
Come on, guys.
I said no party, no fuss.
It's just another day on my calendar.
(Laughs) ALL: Surprise! Surprise.
Too much, people, too much.
Wow! Look at that cake.
(Phone rings) Christine Francis.
No, she's not.
Can I take a message? Right.
I see.
Oh, dear! Seriously, guys.
I hate birthdays.
To be reminded that although one doesn't appear it on the outside, each day one is getting ol How old are you? She's just very excited about the sweepstake we've been running.
We all are - guess Max's age.
As you know, I don't approve of that.
Gambling.
At the risk of pooping the party, I can reveal, that I am 38 years young.
OK, let's see 38.
That's me.
I've won.
Shoots, scores.
Congratulations.
Oh, Alyson.
Yes? I need to Yeah, we should talk.
Can you wait upstairs, please? Right.
I did a course once where No.
People in these situations What situations, Christine? Things like divorce, moving house .
.
bereavement.
What do you mean? Alyson, the hospital Don't, don't say it.
Sorry, look.
It's your father.
I told you don't say it, please.
I could organise some counselling if it'd help.
You know, for example, when Princess Diana died.
But now's not the time.
No, because I have to go and speak to the candidates about Roger now.
We spent the night in jail because of him.
So what do we get? Nothing.
And after I put up with all that "be all you can be".
"If you're a brick layer, be the best brick layer in the world".
Pathetic, isn't it? I suppose it is.
I suppose he's just like that though.
Some people live for their work.
That is my one and only offer.
Is this a joke? I don't think either of you realise how lucky you are.
You see, normally I'd sit back.
Let this play out.
I'd be happy to watch you humiliate Roger and yourselves, because make no mistake, nobody would dream of hiring you after this.
I'd make sure of it.
Today though Today's different.
You are going to look at my generous offer and you are going to realise what a great deal it is.
Then you're going to nod and say "Thank you, Miss Cartmell".
Thank you, Miss Cartmell.
You've painted me? Yes.
In the nude? Fig leaf.
Very small fig leaf.
Make a wish.
What? (Clapping and cheering) Only 40 once.
I'm 38.
Come on, keep up.
No, you're definitely 40.
Born in 1968.
No, he wasn't.
1968.
It's on his personal record.
Yeah, right (!) Can't remember where I put my house keys, but names and dates haunt me.
1968 - Grenoble, winter Olympics, assassination of Martin Luther King, birth of Max.
Absolutely.
You told me that you were 38.
What? Don't look at me, he's the one who lied about his age.
Alright, it's 40.
No-one's going to admit to being 40, are they? Shoots, scores.
Your tie! What? Your tie! (All scream) (Screams) (Continues screaming) Vince.
Yes.
It is my unfortunate duty to inform you that you no longer hold the position of fire safety officer.
Thank you, sir.
You're welcome.
Anybody for a piece of cake? Something's happened.
It's not good.
What? I had to tell Alyson her dad died.
Yeah.
I don't think I handled it very well.
Oh! That's awful.
I'm alright now.
For Alyson.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
Does Steven know? I don't know.
Wasn't planning on spreading it around.
Should I be? No, I shouldn't.
I have to hire them both? Alyson says it's the best way to keep them quiet.
As long as you pay the lap-dancing tab, you're in the clear.
Welcome to Butterworth's.
So many excellent candidates, we couldn't choose just one.
Jenny, could show these gentlemen the way to HR, please? Of course.
Follow me.
Alyson sorted this? Why? Honestly, don't know.
Guess she thinks your old-fashioned quality is still an asset to the company.
Dan, if I were you, I'd watch your tongue.
Don't underestimate me.
With all due respect, you're still here because of Alyson.
You got lucky twice.
But you know what they say - bad things come in threes.
Jenny, can you bring me everything to do with Uxbridge Holdings.
Yes.
May I ask why? Just in case my luck runs out.
It's time to shut it down.
I didn't even know he was ill.
I .
.
didn't know anything.
You should probably make sure she's alright.
Don't worry about dinner.
I'm a bad cook.
You probably dodged a bullet with that one.
Thanks.
What are you doing here? I thought maybe you'd need someone.
Well, I don't.
Why didn't you You could've told me.
You know, I promised him I'd be here for him and I wasn't.
I was in some bloody police station bailing out two idiots because of work.
And I don't know Don't touch me.
Alyson, it's OK.
No, it's not.
You see You can't say that.
I promised him I'd be here.
After everything he did for me, I couldn't even do that, could I? Sh.
OK, OK.
Come on, let's get out of here.
No, please.
Just Just don't leave me.
Please don't leave me.
I'm not going to go.
You know that.
Here you go.
It'll be so nice to get the place back to ourselves.
Yeah.
Boys smell.
Yeah, they do.
I know what'll cheer you up.
Not that you need cheering up as such, but check these babies out.
Is that the electricity money? Look, bills come and go, but shoes are forever.
Oh, my God! Can I try them on? Oh! They're chocolate for your feet.
OK.
What do you reckon? Perfect.
Can you walk in them? Think so.
Tash! Ok, don't move.
I'll find a torch.
(Screams) Help me.
(Both giggle) They're from him.
Who him? Michael him.
It said "Sorry.
Love Michael" Maybe it's time we came out.
I don't know where my head was at.
I was impressed by things I'm not impressed by anymore.
Christine, your job-swap's here.
He's terrific, he's so talented.
Oh, my God! You are so way This is not how it looks.
Somebody better have a very good explanation.
Closed Captions by CSI