Mongo Wrestling Alliance (2011) s01e04 Episode Script
Mongo Mexico
Johnny: I'm putting every stinking Kleberkuh on notice Rusty, Fat Balthazaar, Baron, Acid Alice, and you, too, Black Stack Johnson! You will pay for what you've done! Show 'em, Booter.
Balthazaar: Ain't these two hurt enough?! Johnny: No! Prepare for the sandwich slam! Sandwich slam! My God! Balthazaar: We're screwed.
We're dead.
Booter's gonna get us.
Which one of these masks blends in with society more? We got to go on the lam.
We're done for! Rusty: Don't be a coward, Balt! We are not running away! Baron: Who in the hell are you texting your lover? I forbid you to text.
Balthazaar: Quick, grandma Acid, take me to Japan.
I could wrestle as a mute Japanese mute.
Acid Alice: You not a good enough wrestler to wrestle in Japan! You must-a be great to wrestle in Japan! Baron: I was undefeated in Japan.
Stack: Here we go.
What the [bleep.]
Johnny: Great shot! Now throw this piece of garbage through the other window.
Booter Lee: Now, don't forget to tuck your chin, then roll when you get trough the window.
Baron: You know what I think? [ Clank! .]
Rusty: It says, "we're gonna get you, fat ass.
" Balthazaar: Fat ass?! That's got to be me! I've got the fattest ass! Oh, what are we gonna do?! What am I gonna to do?! What are we gonna to do?! Rusty: Stop slobbering, Balt! It'll be okay.
[ Groans .]
Baron: Quiet.
I'm thinking.
I'm putting Johnny Dubose and the M.
W.
A.
on notice.
There is nothing that you can do to my grandson Balthazaar that will scare me.
Why? Because I do worse to him myself.
I'm gonna wake him up the way I woke him up when he was in grade school with the Nagasaki thumb.
Ingrate! I had the perfect way to show Johnny Dubose I wasn't scared of anything he could do to my grandson, and he ruined it.
Rusty: Where do you think he went? Stack: Check out this [ Gobbles .]
Baron: I don't believe this.
That damn idiot went to Mexico.
[ Gobbles .]
Get your gear, Rusty.
We got to go save your fat-ass brother before he winds up in a Mexican prison.
[ Up-tempo techno music plays .]
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, yeah Baron: Don't you lie to me.
I know about texting.
It's all sexual codes for oral sex.
You're texting while thinking of sex! Give me that! Stack: What the [bleep.]
Midget! [ Tires screech .]
Rusty: The lady said hombre gordo blanco ate about 20 tacos, then got all mad because he got hot sauce all over his mask.
Baron: Ahh, hot sauce.
[ Crunch! .]
Rusty: He was there! And he bought a bunch of masks! Baron: Was he there? - Rusty: Yes! - [ Farts .]
- Baron: What?! - Stack: He was there, damn it! Don't make me talk to a man while he's doin' his nasty business.
Makes me sick! - Baron: I can't hear you.
[ Farting .]
- Rusty: Don't talk when you're [bleep.]
Baron: I beat all the great masked Mexican luchadores.
[ Farting continues .]
I beat bomba de carne.
[ Chuckles .]
What a joke! I beat Luto Estupidez.
- Jerk! - Stack: Look! [ Brakes squeal .]
[ Farting continues .]
Rusty: Excuse me, señor.
- Grrr! - Rusty: Aaah! Get him off me! Stack: Take it easy, little guy.
We ain't gonna hurt you.
Rusty: We want to know if you've seen my brother, Balthazaar.
No, no.
Forget him.
You can no help him.
Forget he ever live.
Stack: What the [bleep.]
is that supposed to mean? [ Groans .]
Rusty: Look! Malo Sangre Wrestling.
Cland-e-sito humano sacrificio.
Pedo cerdo arena tonight! Stack: You take us there now! Balthazaar: What are you guys doing here? - Baron: We're rescuing you.
- Balthazaar: Not going.
Rusty: How can you leave your family and throw in with a bunch of creepy midgets who ass-murdered me? Balthazaar: Creepy? Burrito.
Are they creepy 'cause they're small? Stack: No, fool 'Cause they're dressed like little mini-skeletons! Balthazaar: Malo Sangre Wrestling League loves me.
They say I look like a God.
Es vero.
Es hijo de Quetzalcoatl.
Balthazaar: And they're not always starving me and making me feel like I'm a fat slob.
They love me.
Burrito, señor.
Rusty: You really want a burrito every 10 minutes? Balthazaar: I'd like to know I can eat a burrito every 10 minutes without being judged.
Bueno.
Very bueno.
Baron: This makes me sick.
Balthazaar: Time for them to wave incense at me.
Better go.
Rusty: On the one hand, I'm gonna miss him.
On the other hand, he always said he wanted to be a God.
On the other hand, something about the whole midget setup didn't seem quite right.
Welcome to Malo Sangre Wrestling The only wrestling where the live, beating hearts of the losers are eaten! This week, we have a tasty fat American.
Very, very good! [ Crowd cheering .]
Balthazaar: Carne asada.
[ Engine revs .]
Baron: Isn't this a lot better than being a stupid baby face? Stack: Take the wheel! [ Crowd cheering .]
Balthazaar: You guys hungry? Rusty: Not funny, Balt.
We are going to get under way momentarily, but first we have a very special message from Johnny Dubose! I don't care how you weird and wonderful Mexican midgets do it, but I will give you $1 million for every beating heart of those stinking Kleberkuhs! And I'll give you $100,000 for the heart of that Black Stack Johnson! Stack: Ain't that a mother [bleep.]
Rusty: I insist that you pay the same price for Stack's heart! Baron: Stupid baby face! Invoco a la lucha sagrada de honor.
El hombre sobre el hombre.
Stack: He called for a man-on-man fight.
I'll do it.
Let me out of these chains.
I'll smash these little mother [bleep.]
Rusty: Stack, I'm doing it! Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ay dios mio"Smell it"? This white boy needs some Spanish lessons.
And I know who is going to give them to him Enano monstr-r-r-r-uo! Rusty: Oh, that's a really big midget.
Stack: Remember he's still just a mother [bleep.]
midget! Rusty: Oh, okay.
Thanks! Baron: That's it! Get him on the ground.
Stack: Use a chair! [ Gobbles .]
Rusty: No! No cheating.
Stack: Is it fair a midget is that [bleep.]
big?! Rusty! Get up! Get up, you corny white mother [bleep.]
Balthazaar: Yeah! Get your white ass up! [ Cheers .]
[ Gobbles .]
[ Roars .]
Balthazaar: N-o-o-o! [ All gasp .]
Booter Lee: Hold everything! Como te gusta du manzanas?! "How do you like my apples?" This gringo giant must be crazy! Johnny: B-booter? What are you doing there? No! You're ruining everything! All: N-o-o-o-o! Your brother is dead.
I have eaten his heart.
Your victory is turning to defeat in my stomach.
Rusty: Somebody give me a needle and some dental floss! Johnny: No! Booter! This has got to be the greatest episode of the Malo Sangre Wrestling there ever was.
Many are dead, and the whole place is burning.
I guess we will all scatter into the desert and see what happens! So long, everybody! Acid Alice: I didn't a-think you ever got-a my text-a message because-a you never write-a back.
Baron: You were texting him? Booter Lee: I can't text because my fingers are too big, but I got them all.
I know you guys did a lot of evil stuff and junk, but that don't mean you should have your hearts cut out.
- Baron: Texting my wife, huh? - Rusty: Grandpa Baron, shut up! - It all turned out okay! - Baron: You're right.
Booter, I even forgive you for texting my wife.
Rusty: Geez, grandpa! There's nothing to forgive! She told him the truth about Dubose, and booter came to save us! Baron: They're right.
We owe you.
I tell you what Just this one time, you can [bleep.]
my wife.
Synch by Benfo.
Balthazaar: Ain't these two hurt enough?! Johnny: No! Prepare for the sandwich slam! Sandwich slam! My God! Balthazaar: We're screwed.
We're dead.
Booter's gonna get us.
Which one of these masks blends in with society more? We got to go on the lam.
We're done for! Rusty: Don't be a coward, Balt! We are not running away! Baron: Who in the hell are you texting your lover? I forbid you to text.
Balthazaar: Quick, grandma Acid, take me to Japan.
I could wrestle as a mute Japanese mute.
Acid Alice: You not a good enough wrestler to wrestle in Japan! You must-a be great to wrestle in Japan! Baron: I was undefeated in Japan.
Stack: Here we go.
What the [bleep.]
Johnny: Great shot! Now throw this piece of garbage through the other window.
Booter Lee: Now, don't forget to tuck your chin, then roll when you get trough the window.
Baron: You know what I think? [ Clank! .]
Rusty: It says, "we're gonna get you, fat ass.
" Balthazaar: Fat ass?! That's got to be me! I've got the fattest ass! Oh, what are we gonna do?! What am I gonna to do?! What are we gonna to do?! Rusty: Stop slobbering, Balt! It'll be okay.
[ Groans .]
Baron: Quiet.
I'm thinking.
I'm putting Johnny Dubose and the M.
W.
A.
on notice.
There is nothing that you can do to my grandson Balthazaar that will scare me.
Why? Because I do worse to him myself.
I'm gonna wake him up the way I woke him up when he was in grade school with the Nagasaki thumb.
Ingrate! I had the perfect way to show Johnny Dubose I wasn't scared of anything he could do to my grandson, and he ruined it.
Rusty: Where do you think he went? Stack: Check out this [ Gobbles .]
Baron: I don't believe this.
That damn idiot went to Mexico.
[ Gobbles .]
Get your gear, Rusty.
We got to go save your fat-ass brother before he winds up in a Mexican prison.
[ Up-tempo techno music plays .]
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, yeah Baron: Don't you lie to me.
I know about texting.
It's all sexual codes for oral sex.
You're texting while thinking of sex! Give me that! Stack: What the [bleep.]
Midget! [ Tires screech .]
Rusty: The lady said hombre gordo blanco ate about 20 tacos, then got all mad because he got hot sauce all over his mask.
Baron: Ahh, hot sauce.
[ Crunch! .]
Rusty: He was there! And he bought a bunch of masks! Baron: Was he there? - Rusty: Yes! - [ Farts .]
- Baron: What?! - Stack: He was there, damn it! Don't make me talk to a man while he's doin' his nasty business.
Makes me sick! - Baron: I can't hear you.
[ Farting .]
- Rusty: Don't talk when you're [bleep.]
Baron: I beat all the great masked Mexican luchadores.
[ Farting continues .]
I beat bomba de carne.
[ Chuckles .]
What a joke! I beat Luto Estupidez.
- Jerk! - Stack: Look! [ Brakes squeal .]
[ Farting continues .]
Rusty: Excuse me, señor.
- Grrr! - Rusty: Aaah! Get him off me! Stack: Take it easy, little guy.
We ain't gonna hurt you.
Rusty: We want to know if you've seen my brother, Balthazaar.
No, no.
Forget him.
You can no help him.
Forget he ever live.
Stack: What the [bleep.]
is that supposed to mean? [ Groans .]
Rusty: Look! Malo Sangre Wrestling.
Cland-e-sito humano sacrificio.
Pedo cerdo arena tonight! Stack: You take us there now! Balthazaar: What are you guys doing here? - Baron: We're rescuing you.
- Balthazaar: Not going.
Rusty: How can you leave your family and throw in with a bunch of creepy midgets who ass-murdered me? Balthazaar: Creepy? Burrito.
Are they creepy 'cause they're small? Stack: No, fool 'Cause they're dressed like little mini-skeletons! Balthazaar: Malo Sangre Wrestling League loves me.
They say I look like a God.
Es vero.
Es hijo de Quetzalcoatl.
Balthazaar: And they're not always starving me and making me feel like I'm a fat slob.
They love me.
Burrito, señor.
Rusty: You really want a burrito every 10 minutes? Balthazaar: I'd like to know I can eat a burrito every 10 minutes without being judged.
Bueno.
Very bueno.
Baron: This makes me sick.
Balthazaar: Time for them to wave incense at me.
Better go.
Rusty: On the one hand, I'm gonna miss him.
On the other hand, he always said he wanted to be a God.
On the other hand, something about the whole midget setup didn't seem quite right.
Welcome to Malo Sangre Wrestling The only wrestling where the live, beating hearts of the losers are eaten! This week, we have a tasty fat American.
Very, very good! [ Crowd cheering .]
Balthazaar: Carne asada.
[ Engine revs .]
Baron: Isn't this a lot better than being a stupid baby face? Stack: Take the wheel! [ Crowd cheering .]
Balthazaar: You guys hungry? Rusty: Not funny, Balt.
We are going to get under way momentarily, but first we have a very special message from Johnny Dubose! I don't care how you weird and wonderful Mexican midgets do it, but I will give you $1 million for every beating heart of those stinking Kleberkuhs! And I'll give you $100,000 for the heart of that Black Stack Johnson! Stack: Ain't that a mother [bleep.]
Rusty: I insist that you pay the same price for Stack's heart! Baron: Stupid baby face! Invoco a la lucha sagrada de honor.
El hombre sobre el hombre.
Stack: He called for a man-on-man fight.
I'll do it.
Let me out of these chains.
I'll smash these little mother [bleep.]
Rusty: Stack, I'm doing it! Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ay dios mio"Smell it"? This white boy needs some Spanish lessons.
And I know who is going to give them to him Enano monstr-r-r-r-uo! Rusty: Oh, that's a really big midget.
Stack: Remember he's still just a mother [bleep.]
midget! Rusty: Oh, okay.
Thanks! Baron: That's it! Get him on the ground.
Stack: Use a chair! [ Gobbles .]
Rusty: No! No cheating.
Stack: Is it fair a midget is that [bleep.]
big?! Rusty! Get up! Get up, you corny white mother [bleep.]
Balthazaar: Yeah! Get your white ass up! [ Cheers .]
[ Gobbles .]
[ Roars .]
Balthazaar: N-o-o-o! [ All gasp .]
Booter Lee: Hold everything! Como te gusta du manzanas?! "How do you like my apples?" This gringo giant must be crazy! Johnny: B-booter? What are you doing there? No! You're ruining everything! All: N-o-o-o-o! Your brother is dead.
I have eaten his heart.
Your victory is turning to defeat in my stomach.
Rusty: Somebody give me a needle and some dental floss! Johnny: No! Booter! This has got to be the greatest episode of the Malo Sangre Wrestling there ever was.
Many are dead, and the whole place is burning.
I guess we will all scatter into the desert and see what happens! So long, everybody! Acid Alice: I didn't a-think you ever got-a my text-a message because-a you never write-a back.
Baron: You were texting him? Booter Lee: I can't text because my fingers are too big, but I got them all.
I know you guys did a lot of evil stuff and junk, but that don't mean you should have your hearts cut out.
- Baron: Texting my wife, huh? - Rusty: Grandpa Baron, shut up! - It all turned out okay! - Baron: You're right.
Booter, I even forgive you for texting my wife.
Rusty: Geez, grandpa! There's nothing to forgive! She told him the truth about Dubose, and booter came to save us! Baron: They're right.
We owe you.
I tell you what Just this one time, you can [bleep.]
my wife.
Synch by Benfo.