My Place (2009) s01e04 Episode Script
1978 Mike
(INTRIGUING PIANO AND CELLO MUSIC) I'm a witch.
Brrrmmmm! I am the magician! I'm not weird.
You're gonna get in so much trouble! (LAUGHTER) GIRL: Oooh! (GIRL SQUEALS) (DREAMY MUSIC) My name is Mike and this is my place.
I know a lot about cars, especially Australian muscle cars, from 1968 to 1978.
They're my favourite.
Hey, Mike.
What's 8 x 1 3? 1 04.
(BOTH LAUGH) Robo brain.
They're easier than people, who I can't figure out at all.
I guess that's why I have no friends.
Not as good as an MG.
This is Ben.
He likes cars too.
That's why I think he could be my friend, but I don't know yet.
It's better than an MG.
Has a better power-to-weight ratio.
Yeah, but it's Jap crap.
They fall apart after a couple of years.
Listen, I was thinking, can you go and see the tippy? Jeff's got a mate who wants some trim studs for his Kingswood.
They gotta be brown.
(METAL CREAKS, DOG BARKS) I'm brave because I talk to the tippy.
All the other kids are afraid of him.
Ben says everyone at school reckons it's because I know how to handle him.
(MAN GRUNTS) (TOOLS CLANK) (GROANS) (GROWLS) Ah, back again.
(GRUNTS) Yeah.
(GRUNTS REPEATEDLY) Could I go and look at the Kingswood? Please? (GRUNTS) (ENGINE REVS NEARBY) 1 7 cents each for the studs.
45 cents for the badge.
How much is that? $2.
83.
$2.
83.
You got it on you? Well, I'll put it on your slate.
I reckon the Ford Cobra's better than the Monaro GTS.
Ah, you reckon, do you? It has a bigger engine capacity.
You wanna see a car that trumps 'em both? (WHISPERS) Whoa! Ohh! It's a 1 97 1 Ford GTHO.
(SNIFFS) Fastest production car ever made in this country.
Came in as a wreck about four years ago.
Been putting it together bit by bit.
Got a new air filter yesterday and, uh, once that's in, she's ready to go.
Wow! Thank you.
Righto.
(UPBEAT MUSIC) (CAT MIAOWS) Hey, 99.
(MIAOWS) Oooh! Oh! Oh, bloody hell.
One, two, three Ben! four, five, six, seven I think your mate has lost something.
nine And these two.
(SIGHS) Oh! (SIGHS) OK, so how much is that? $2.
83.
So we'll call it two bucks? No.
Mates' rates.
No.
It's 1 7 cents for a trim stud and 45 for the OK, alright? I'm joking, alright? $2.
83, then.
Now you owe me $9.
35.
Yeah, OK.
I'll get it to you.
What do you reckon about Jeff's car? Hmm, it's cool.
Jeff reckons it's the best car in the world.
No, it's the GTR.
The GTR XU-1 has triple Stromberg side-draught carburettors, like the ones I saw at the tip.
Would they fit Jeff's car? Yeah.
Wait here.
(SIGHS) Jeff reckons he'll give us 50 bucks for those carbies, but he's gotta see them first.
I could take Jeff to the tip and he could No, then we'll pay the money to the tippy and we get nix.
OK.
We gotta think of something, OK? (MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO, FAINT VOICES) WOMAN: I'm sorry, but I found him in my back MAN: Yeah.
my backyard again.
Can you please keep him under control? And I would, but as I said, it's not our cat.
It's always at your house.
It might be, but it's not ours.
I'm sorry.
Try the next place along.
Phew! Hey, how's the maths genius? Good.
Can I borrow 50 bucks? May I borrow $50, please? OK.
May I borrow $50, please? No.
Why not? Did you ask your mother? Yes.
What did she say? No.
There's your answer.
What do you want it for? Um, just It's OK.
(SPEAKS GREEK) Mikey.
Why you long face? Hey, Yaya.
Yeah.
May I borrow $50, please? $50? No.
OK.
(SPEAKS GREEK) For a carburettor for Bers brother.
Ah.
(SPEAKS GREEK) He is.
He's my best friend.
(99 MIAOWS) Shoo! Hey! Shoo! (MIAOWS) Shoo! Ah! (SPEAKS GREEK) (HEAVY BASS RIFF PLAYS) Mike, will you at least wait till I open the door? Sorry.
May I borrow $50, please? What? No way.
I could give you all my Wheaty Flakes cards.
Mike, get out, please.
I have three complete sets.
Brazil '77.
Fast Wheels Yeah, I know, Mike, and I don't want them.
You have three sets? Yeah.
Fast Wheels are my favourite.
This is my nephew, Mikey.
He's weird.
I'm not weird.
Well, I'm Nina.
Nice to meet you.
Alright, now I have to see your card collection.
These are Fast Wheels.
All these cars are customised.
I can see.
That means there's only just one of each.
Where did you get the horseshoe? Oh, my dad.
He found it in the backyard when he was little.
That's nice he gave it to you.
Do you want to buy my cards? Um, I don't think so, Mikey.
Why not? I don't have a use for them.
OK.
Are you and Sofia best friends? Um, yeah.
Do you ever ask her for money? Why would I do that? Thanks for showing me the cards.
(DREAMY MUSIC) Sweet dreams, 99.
(PURRS) You reckon you could just take it? You know, when he's not looking.
Then we get the whole 50 bucks.
What's half of 50? Half of 50 is 25.
25 bucks.
That's big money.
You his best mate now, are you? Nah, I'm just talking to him, right? So get lost.
You won't get cut if I say we're not friends, right? Nah.
Cool.
So what about it? 25 bucks? You're not a weak act, are you? No.
Well, that's what kids will say.
I'm not a weak act.
Yeah, I reckon if you did it, kids would stop laughing at you.
What if I told them all you're my best mate? I would.
As long as you stick by me.
If you don't, you're a weak act.
That's just how it is.
(METAL CREAKS, DOG BARKS) Now's your chance.
Go on.
(DOG BARKS NEARBY) What are you up to? Ben! BEN! Oh, yeah, go on, run, you gutless maggot.
(TIPPY GRUNTS, SNIFFS) Well, I can tell you right now those carbies are won'th a bit more than 50 bucks.
So let me see if I've got this right.
You sneak in here, you take all the risk and when you get in trouble, he nips off.
Not much of a mate, is he? How much does he owe you? $9.
35.
Which he loaned to his cousin, who's gone away? Yeah.
Mate, you're never gonna see that money.
I am.
I am.
He promised.
MAN: What are you up to, mate? TIPPY: What am I up to? Who let you out of your nappy? Hey.
Want a go, do you? Just leave him alone, mate.
What's he done to you? TIPPY: Go on.
Nick off before I get the jacks on you.
On us? (SCOFFS) Sorry, mate.
What is it that we've done? Private property, sunshine.
Move it.
(MOCK YAWNS) (LAUGHS) BO Y: Loser.
Yeah.
He's for it, mate.
Yeah, reckon.
Go back to his joint tonight with the spray paint.
Put a few choice words up over his shed, eh? Yeah! Yeah.
BO Y: I reckon he deserves it, the loser.
BEN: Yeah, a real loser.
(LAUGHTER) No, he's not.
He's got a 1 97 1 Ford GTHO.
Is that deadset? You can see for yourself.
It's under the tarp.
Is she driveable? No.
Let's burn it.
BO Y: Well, if you can't drive it, mate Yeah.
You're not wrong there.
(POP SONG PLAYS ON RADIO) Here, take that to your father.
Hmm? Yeah.
Good boy.
Oh, thanks, Mike.
Uh, hey, Dad? Do you know the tippy? Yeah.
How come people don't like him? Why do you think they don't like him? I don't know.
Well, it's not they don't like him, Mike.
It's just he wants to be on his own.
But why? Well, because You know I went to the Vietnam war, right? Yeah.
Well, the tippy, he went too.
And 'cause of things that happened over there, well, Jerry can act a little strange and people don't understand that.
People don't like me either.
What? Who doesn't like you? All the kids at school.
Listen, Mike, I know you're not finding it easy at school, but being popular is not such a great thing.
What you need is a true friend.
Havert you got someone like that? (WOMAN LAUGHS) What? (WOMEN CHAT) (LAUGHTER) Hello! Tippy? (METAL CLANKS) (GRUNTS) (KICKS METAL) (TOILET FLUSHES) Ah.
Didrt think I'd see you back here again.
Ben and his brother want to burn up your car.
Say again? They want to burn up your car.
They said they'll come tonight.
Is that what they said? Yeah.
How did they find out about my special car? Um I I kind of told them.
But I made a mistake, 'cause you're my friend.
Right? I am too, little mate.
I am too.
Well, then, what to do about this situation? I think we should go for a drive.
(JIGGLES KEYS) (ENGINE PURRS) She's purring like a pussycat.
You talking to girls yet? Mm-mm.
I'll let you in on a secret.
Never tell them what you're interested in.
You find out what they like and let them do the talking.
Make a girl think she's interesting and you can't get rid of her.
OK.
(STOPS ENGINE) Alright, little mate.
You run along inside.
I'll just have a quiet chat with young Jeff.
(STARTS ENGINE) (SIGHS HEAVILY) What the bloody hell do you want? Heard you were after a set of Strombergs for this nice little Torana.
Your brother tried to pinch these today, actually.
At least, he put young Mikey up to it.
They were gonna sell them to you for 50 bucks and split the proceeds.
Fancy that! 50? Hmm.
That's what I heard.
(SIGHS) Ben! BEN: Yeah? Come here.
Now! How much were you gonna sell me these for again? And, uh, what was the plan, mate? Are you gonna rip him off and then rip me and Mikey off as well, is that it? What? Never.
We just went to the tip to buy it from him, like I said, then he grabbed Mikey.
Yeah? And why would I do that, son? 'Cause you're a weirdo.
Why don't you rack off back to Weirdoland? He's not a weirdo.
He's What he said is right.
You told me to steal it and you told me that you'd tell everybody else Oh, dob me in, why don't you? Wait till I tell everyone you're weak and sick in the head.
I don't care.
You're a sponger.
He's a real friend and you're just a fake.
Yeah, you mongrel.
Get in the house and get in the house.
Get in the house! (CLEARS THROAT) Come on, little mate.
(MIAOWS) NINA: Oh, yeah.
Hello! Where did you get to? (MUMBLES) Hey! Thank you, Sofia, darling.
Oh, looks good! Dolmades! Hey, Maroula's coming down from Brisbane for Easter.
Oh! That's great.
When did you hear? She rang today.
Do you like muscle cars? Sorry? Mikey.
Do you like muscle cars? Mikey, we've already told you No, no.
I don't, but I like cats.
There's a cat that lives next door.
He sleeps on my bed at night.
He does? NINA: So does mine.
What type is it? Siamese.
They're very pretty but they have an ugly miaow.
Miiaa-ooowwwww! His name is Smudge.
And he's this lovely creamy colour with a black face and little black I'm not so interested in muscle cars anymore.
Now I like cats and 'Planet Comics'.
Jim Aparo is my favourite artist.
He draws Batman.
Batman is cool.
(INTRIGUING MUSIC) (GIRLS LAUGH) GIRL: Wait for me! GIRL: It's just like heaven.
(GIRL SQUEALS) Duck for cover! Cover!
Brrrmmmm! I am the magician! I'm not weird.
You're gonna get in so much trouble! (LAUGHTER) GIRL: Oooh! (GIRL SQUEALS) (DREAMY MUSIC) My name is Mike and this is my place.
I know a lot about cars, especially Australian muscle cars, from 1968 to 1978.
They're my favourite.
Hey, Mike.
What's 8 x 1 3? 1 04.
(BOTH LAUGH) Robo brain.
They're easier than people, who I can't figure out at all.
I guess that's why I have no friends.
Not as good as an MG.
This is Ben.
He likes cars too.
That's why I think he could be my friend, but I don't know yet.
It's better than an MG.
Has a better power-to-weight ratio.
Yeah, but it's Jap crap.
They fall apart after a couple of years.
Listen, I was thinking, can you go and see the tippy? Jeff's got a mate who wants some trim studs for his Kingswood.
They gotta be brown.
(METAL CREAKS, DOG BARKS) I'm brave because I talk to the tippy.
All the other kids are afraid of him.
Ben says everyone at school reckons it's because I know how to handle him.
(MAN GRUNTS) (TOOLS CLANK) (GROANS) (GROWLS) Ah, back again.
(GRUNTS) Yeah.
(GRUNTS REPEATEDLY) Could I go and look at the Kingswood? Please? (GRUNTS) (ENGINE REVS NEARBY) 1 7 cents each for the studs.
45 cents for the badge.
How much is that? $2.
83.
$2.
83.
You got it on you? Well, I'll put it on your slate.
I reckon the Ford Cobra's better than the Monaro GTS.
Ah, you reckon, do you? It has a bigger engine capacity.
You wanna see a car that trumps 'em both? (WHISPERS) Whoa! Ohh! It's a 1 97 1 Ford GTHO.
(SNIFFS) Fastest production car ever made in this country.
Came in as a wreck about four years ago.
Been putting it together bit by bit.
Got a new air filter yesterday and, uh, once that's in, she's ready to go.
Wow! Thank you.
Righto.
(UPBEAT MUSIC) (CAT MIAOWS) Hey, 99.
(MIAOWS) Oooh! Oh! Oh, bloody hell.
One, two, three Ben! four, five, six, seven I think your mate has lost something.
nine And these two.
(SIGHS) Oh! (SIGHS) OK, so how much is that? $2.
83.
So we'll call it two bucks? No.
Mates' rates.
No.
It's 1 7 cents for a trim stud and 45 for the OK, alright? I'm joking, alright? $2.
83, then.
Now you owe me $9.
35.
Yeah, OK.
I'll get it to you.
What do you reckon about Jeff's car? Hmm, it's cool.
Jeff reckons it's the best car in the world.
No, it's the GTR.
The GTR XU-1 has triple Stromberg side-draught carburettors, like the ones I saw at the tip.
Would they fit Jeff's car? Yeah.
Wait here.
(SIGHS) Jeff reckons he'll give us 50 bucks for those carbies, but he's gotta see them first.
I could take Jeff to the tip and he could No, then we'll pay the money to the tippy and we get nix.
OK.
We gotta think of something, OK? (MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO, FAINT VOICES) WOMAN: I'm sorry, but I found him in my back MAN: Yeah.
my backyard again.
Can you please keep him under control? And I would, but as I said, it's not our cat.
It's always at your house.
It might be, but it's not ours.
I'm sorry.
Try the next place along.
Phew! Hey, how's the maths genius? Good.
Can I borrow 50 bucks? May I borrow $50, please? OK.
May I borrow $50, please? No.
Why not? Did you ask your mother? Yes.
What did she say? No.
There's your answer.
What do you want it for? Um, just It's OK.
(SPEAKS GREEK) Mikey.
Why you long face? Hey, Yaya.
Yeah.
May I borrow $50, please? $50? No.
OK.
(SPEAKS GREEK) For a carburettor for Bers brother.
Ah.
(SPEAKS GREEK) He is.
He's my best friend.
(99 MIAOWS) Shoo! Hey! Shoo! (MIAOWS) Shoo! Ah! (SPEAKS GREEK) (HEAVY BASS RIFF PLAYS) Mike, will you at least wait till I open the door? Sorry.
May I borrow $50, please? What? No way.
I could give you all my Wheaty Flakes cards.
Mike, get out, please.
I have three complete sets.
Brazil '77.
Fast Wheels Yeah, I know, Mike, and I don't want them.
You have three sets? Yeah.
Fast Wheels are my favourite.
This is my nephew, Mikey.
He's weird.
I'm not weird.
Well, I'm Nina.
Nice to meet you.
Alright, now I have to see your card collection.
These are Fast Wheels.
All these cars are customised.
I can see.
That means there's only just one of each.
Where did you get the horseshoe? Oh, my dad.
He found it in the backyard when he was little.
That's nice he gave it to you.
Do you want to buy my cards? Um, I don't think so, Mikey.
Why not? I don't have a use for them.
OK.
Are you and Sofia best friends? Um, yeah.
Do you ever ask her for money? Why would I do that? Thanks for showing me the cards.
(DREAMY MUSIC) Sweet dreams, 99.
(PURRS) You reckon you could just take it? You know, when he's not looking.
Then we get the whole 50 bucks.
What's half of 50? Half of 50 is 25.
25 bucks.
That's big money.
You his best mate now, are you? Nah, I'm just talking to him, right? So get lost.
You won't get cut if I say we're not friends, right? Nah.
Cool.
So what about it? 25 bucks? You're not a weak act, are you? No.
Well, that's what kids will say.
I'm not a weak act.
Yeah, I reckon if you did it, kids would stop laughing at you.
What if I told them all you're my best mate? I would.
As long as you stick by me.
If you don't, you're a weak act.
That's just how it is.
(METAL CREAKS, DOG BARKS) Now's your chance.
Go on.
(DOG BARKS NEARBY) What are you up to? Ben! BEN! Oh, yeah, go on, run, you gutless maggot.
(TIPPY GRUNTS, SNIFFS) Well, I can tell you right now those carbies are won'th a bit more than 50 bucks.
So let me see if I've got this right.
You sneak in here, you take all the risk and when you get in trouble, he nips off.
Not much of a mate, is he? How much does he owe you? $9.
35.
Which he loaned to his cousin, who's gone away? Yeah.
Mate, you're never gonna see that money.
I am.
I am.
He promised.
MAN: What are you up to, mate? TIPPY: What am I up to? Who let you out of your nappy? Hey.
Want a go, do you? Just leave him alone, mate.
What's he done to you? TIPPY: Go on.
Nick off before I get the jacks on you.
On us? (SCOFFS) Sorry, mate.
What is it that we've done? Private property, sunshine.
Move it.
(MOCK YAWNS) (LAUGHS) BO Y: Loser.
Yeah.
He's for it, mate.
Yeah, reckon.
Go back to his joint tonight with the spray paint.
Put a few choice words up over his shed, eh? Yeah! Yeah.
BO Y: I reckon he deserves it, the loser.
BEN: Yeah, a real loser.
(LAUGHTER) No, he's not.
He's got a 1 97 1 Ford GTHO.
Is that deadset? You can see for yourself.
It's under the tarp.
Is she driveable? No.
Let's burn it.
BO Y: Well, if you can't drive it, mate Yeah.
You're not wrong there.
(POP SONG PLAYS ON RADIO) Here, take that to your father.
Hmm? Yeah.
Good boy.
Oh, thanks, Mike.
Uh, hey, Dad? Do you know the tippy? Yeah.
How come people don't like him? Why do you think they don't like him? I don't know.
Well, it's not they don't like him, Mike.
It's just he wants to be on his own.
But why? Well, because You know I went to the Vietnam war, right? Yeah.
Well, the tippy, he went too.
And 'cause of things that happened over there, well, Jerry can act a little strange and people don't understand that.
People don't like me either.
What? Who doesn't like you? All the kids at school.
Listen, Mike, I know you're not finding it easy at school, but being popular is not such a great thing.
What you need is a true friend.
Havert you got someone like that? (WOMAN LAUGHS) What? (WOMEN CHAT) (LAUGHTER) Hello! Tippy? (METAL CLANKS) (GRUNTS) (KICKS METAL) (TOILET FLUSHES) Ah.
Didrt think I'd see you back here again.
Ben and his brother want to burn up your car.
Say again? They want to burn up your car.
They said they'll come tonight.
Is that what they said? Yeah.
How did they find out about my special car? Um I I kind of told them.
But I made a mistake, 'cause you're my friend.
Right? I am too, little mate.
I am too.
Well, then, what to do about this situation? I think we should go for a drive.
(JIGGLES KEYS) (ENGINE PURRS) She's purring like a pussycat.
You talking to girls yet? Mm-mm.
I'll let you in on a secret.
Never tell them what you're interested in.
You find out what they like and let them do the talking.
Make a girl think she's interesting and you can't get rid of her.
OK.
(STOPS ENGINE) Alright, little mate.
You run along inside.
I'll just have a quiet chat with young Jeff.
(STARTS ENGINE) (SIGHS HEAVILY) What the bloody hell do you want? Heard you were after a set of Strombergs for this nice little Torana.
Your brother tried to pinch these today, actually.
At least, he put young Mikey up to it.
They were gonna sell them to you for 50 bucks and split the proceeds.
Fancy that! 50? Hmm.
That's what I heard.
(SIGHS) Ben! BEN: Yeah? Come here.
Now! How much were you gonna sell me these for again? And, uh, what was the plan, mate? Are you gonna rip him off and then rip me and Mikey off as well, is that it? What? Never.
We just went to the tip to buy it from him, like I said, then he grabbed Mikey.
Yeah? And why would I do that, son? 'Cause you're a weirdo.
Why don't you rack off back to Weirdoland? He's not a weirdo.
He's What he said is right.
You told me to steal it and you told me that you'd tell everybody else Oh, dob me in, why don't you? Wait till I tell everyone you're weak and sick in the head.
I don't care.
You're a sponger.
He's a real friend and you're just a fake.
Yeah, you mongrel.
Get in the house and get in the house.
Get in the house! (CLEARS THROAT) Come on, little mate.
(MIAOWS) NINA: Oh, yeah.
Hello! Where did you get to? (MUMBLES) Hey! Thank you, Sofia, darling.
Oh, looks good! Dolmades! Hey, Maroula's coming down from Brisbane for Easter.
Oh! That's great.
When did you hear? She rang today.
Do you like muscle cars? Sorry? Mikey.
Do you like muscle cars? Mikey, we've already told you No, no.
I don't, but I like cats.
There's a cat that lives next door.
He sleeps on my bed at night.
He does? NINA: So does mine.
What type is it? Siamese.
They're very pretty but they have an ugly miaow.
Miiaa-ooowwwww! His name is Smudge.
And he's this lovely creamy colour with a black face and little black I'm not so interested in muscle cars anymore.
Now I like cats and 'Planet Comics'.
Jim Aparo is my favourite artist.
He draws Batman.
Batman is cool.
(INTRIGUING MUSIC) (GIRLS LAUGH) GIRL: Wait for me! GIRL: It's just like heaven.
(GIRL SQUEALS) Duck for cover! Cover!