New Europe (2007) s01e04 Episode Script

PALIN: Hungary, land of the Magyars,
has had a tough 20th century.
Nlnety years ago thls brldge
connected two parts of Hungary,
but after defeat In World War One,
they lost so much land that
thls Is now an Internatlonal frontler.
But the cathedral
on the hlll at Esztergom
remalns one of the great
symbols of Hungarlan natlonal prlde.
Domlnatlng the Danube,
It was where Stephen,
thelr flrst Chrlstlan klng,
was crowned 1,000 years ago.
The castle at Vlsegrad Is
another remlnder of a proud past,
and In the town below,
crowds are gatherlng to celebrate
the herolc years of the Mlddle Ages.
But more recent traumas
are clearly not forgotten.
It's interesting,
these are maps of Hungary
before World War 0ne,
when it was actually
two-thirds bigger than it is now!
The land was taken away by the
Peace Treaty of Trianon in 1 920!
And, I mean, obviously
they're selling a lot,
so it's obviously
something that smoulders deeply
under the surface there
for the Hungarians!
PALIN: Today It's the 1 5th century
they're celebratlng,
the days of Matthlas Corvlnus,
the klng who ralsed
one of Europe's flrst standlng armles
and helped rally the peoples of Europe
to take arms agalnst the Ottoman Turks.
(MEN CHANTING MEDIEVAL
MARCHING S0NG IN HUNGARIAN)
Here In Vlsegrad, the days
of valour and chlvalry are remembered,
and Hungary's golden age
Is brought brlefly back to llfe.
One of the hlghllghts Is a dlsplay of
horseback archery by Lajos Kassal.
It was a sklll perfected
by the armles of Attlla the Hun.
Thls technlque was
a mllltary breakthrough.
An arrow flred at the gallop
had twlce the plerclng power
of one flred from statlonary.
Kassal can shoot
1 2 of them In 1 7 seconds.
As he puts lt, "Every Hungarlan feels
In hls heart he Is Attlla. "
Further down the rlver
In the llttle town of Szentendre,
hlstory moves on a blt.
I've been Invlted to meet some people In
a house bullt as recently as the 1 600s.
Hope it's the right house,
otherwise we're in!!!
I think so!
Hello, is this the Eredics?
Hello!
I'm Michael!
Well, then it is the right place!
- Yes, right place!
- Thank you, thank you!
Hello, I'm Michael!
I'm told this is the one place
in Hungary where everything happens!
- Yeah! Hello! How are you?
- Hello!
0h, I say!
There you go! Hello, I'm Michael!
PALIN: The Eredlcs famlly
are almost all muslclans
who play and tour together,
and, llke many In thls town,
came here long ago from Serbla.
Ah, some goulash bubbling!
Is this goulash or is it just!!!
It's goldfish, I see!
Heated goldfish pond!
PALIN AND MAN: Mmm!
MAN: Very spicy! Well done!
PALIN: The goldflsh, I have to say,
are absolutely wonderful,
even If they do taste a blt llke pork.
MAN: Mixed soups are very popular!
PALIN: Yeah, yeah! Very popular!
English soups are a bit thin!
These are big, sort of full and chunky!
In England, we'd say this is a stew!
MAN: Yeah!
PALIN: Almost!
MAN: Yeah, this is not stew,
it's a soup! Yeah!
PALIN: After the meal they dlsplay
not just thelr vlrtuoslty,
but the Gypsy Influences
that seem to lle at the heart
of Central European muslc.
(PLAYING LIVELY TRADITl0NAL MUSIC)
Very sadly, the tlme comes to leave
thls talented and hospltable famlly
and embark on the last leg
of my journey to Budapest.
Oh, dear, It's gone wlthout me.
Oh, well, there's bound
to be another along soon.
And the later you arrlve
In Budapest, the better.
The clty at nlght Is magnlflcent.
I'm staylng at the Gellert,
a Budapest landmark.
Now nearly 90 years old,
lts glorles may be fadlng,
but the Gellert stlll slts
at the heart of Budapest llfe.
I look out at Freedom Brldge,
whlch connects
what were once two cltles,
Buda and, on the other slde, Pest.
The rlver Is as busy as the roads,
as boats leave
for Bratlslava and Vlenna.
The Gellert Spa comes wlth Instructlons.
"Please read carefully
our short Introductlon
"to the usage of the spa facllltles,
"whlch wlll help you to enjoy
the unlque experlence
"of the 80-year-old Gellert bath.
"From the hotel
you have to go to the elevator
"at the north wlng of the bulldlng,
"whlch you can access on the second,
thlrd, or fourth floors.
"Follow the slgns and you
won't mlss the manned elevator.
"Best practlce Is,
If you change In your own room or sulte
"and you enter the elevator
In your bathlng sult and bathrobe,
'you won't waste tlme wlth changlng
"or spendlng valuable mlnutes
In the locker rooms. "
This way for the pool?
"Durlng the trlp wlth the elevator,
"from the attendant
you wlll get a plastlc card,
"whlch you'll need
to get through the entrance gate
"when enterlng and leavlng
the baths area. "
- 0h, this is the famous card I need?
- Yes!
- To get into the pool? Always have this!
- Yes! For pool, you have that!
Thank you!
- Please! Have a great time!
- Thank you!
"As you come out of thls
elevator, please turn to the rlght
"and show the bar code on the card to
the sensor screen at the entry machlne.
"Walk through the maln hall
past the publlc cash desk.
"Flrst entrance on the rlght Is
the thermal baths for ladles only.
"In the centre Is
the Indoor swlmmlng pool
"and the access to the outdoor pool
"and then the entrance
to the thermal baths for gentlemen,
"whlch Is the thlrd entrance
on the rlght.
"In case of any questlon,
please turn to our front desk staff,
"or the hostess of the baths. "
(W0MAN SPEAKING HUNGARIAN 0VER PA)
By the tlme I reach the sun terrace,
I feel llke Ulysses.
And not a moment too soon.
My body's whlter than the towels.
Ahl That's better.
No sooner have I started sunbathlng
than I feel an urgent need to cool down.
The pool looks wonderfully Invltlng.
But deep In the bowels of the hotel,
somethlng Is stlrrlng.
(BELL RINGING)
No one had warned me that every hour,
on the hour,
the paddler's peace Is shattered.
Wave after wave scours
the pool llke a rlp tlde.
The Gellert wave machlne Is In actlon,
as It has been slnce the 1 930s.
Toddlers, teenagers and TVpresenters
are tossed about llke flotsam.
Oh, It's wonderfull
The flnest bulldlng on
the waterfront Is the Parllament,
bullt at the helght of
the Austro-Hungarlan Emplre.
My gulde Is Peter Zwack,
who as a chlld escaped
Nazl-occupled Budapest.
He later became
Hungarlan Ambassador In Washlngton
and after that an Independent MP.
So he knows hls way around.
PALIN: Was this wonderful building
much damaged during the war?
ZWACK: Very! It was very bad!
It was first bombed by the Soviets!
ZWACK: And afterwards by the Allies!
PALIN: Yeah!
And the city,
you can still see it today,
even though the city
was rebuilt pretty much!
- Yeah!
- But you can see bullet holes and!!!
PALIN: In the extravagantly grand
Chamber of Representatlves,
deputles sat throughout
the Communlst years,
rubber-stamplng declslons
made at Party Headquarters.
I never thought this would change!
I thought until my death we were
going to live under Communism here!
And it happened one day to the other!
If you were in parliament now,
Peter, what would you be fighting for?
I'd be still fighting for corruption!!!
- PALIN: Against corruption!
- I would still like to see it go away!
But today, the biggest problem
in a small country like this is envy!
Envy, jealousy, hatred,
because there's such social differences
due to the breaking in of freedom!
People got very rich illegally,
so there is a real hatred
towards these new rich!
PALIN: Nothlng I've learnt on my journey
prepares me for Hungarlan,
one of Europe's least-spoken languages.
But I'm determlned to glve It a try
and have chosen the Budapest
subway system as my flrst vlctlm.
This is dangerous, but I've been
learning this for weeks!
We'll see if it works!
(SPEAKING HUNGARIAN)
Am I going to get a hippopotamus?
No, a ticket! Brilliant! Thank you!
How much?
(SPEAKING HUNGARIAN)
(MAN SPEAKING HUNGARIAN 0VER PA)
PALIN: Opened In 1 896,
thls was the very flrst
underground system In malnland Europe.
I get off halfway along Andrassy,
the smart boulevard of Budapest,
one of whose neoclasslcal manslons
harbours a slnlster past.
There was one house
on this grand and elegant street
where you never wanted to end up!
For a while, it was the most
feared address in Budapest!
60 Andrassy Street!
PALIN: Now a museum
called the House of Terror,
Number 60 had been
headquarters of both Fasclst
and, later, Communlst secret pollce.
(W0MAN SPEAKING HUNGARIAN 0VER PA)
On dlsplay In one gallery
Is the propaganda of Communlsm.
It projected a wholesome,
progresslve world.
But as early as 1 956, the Hungarlan
people could see through lt.
MAN 0N TV: Throughout the clty
Sovlet war memorlals come crashlng down.
Budapest Is In revolt.
Wlth uncontrolled fury,
crowds set flre to Russlan flags
and put Sovlet books to the torch.
A red star Is sent tumbllng
Into the gutter.
PALIN: The Hungarlan uprlslng was
the flrst blg test of Moscow's control
of her European satellltes.
MAN 0N TV: Rebels rlde thelr tanks
trlumphantly through the streets.
The Russlans have glven thelr word
that they wlll wlthdraw all
Communlst troops from Hungarlan soll.
The vlctory seems complete.
(MAN 0N TV SPEAKING HUNGARIAN)
PALIN: But the troops dld go back In.
The uprlslng was crushed and
lts leaders subjected to a show trlal.
In a room papered wlth legal documents,
the fllm of the trlal runs on a loop,
Includlng the moment when
the ultlmate punlshment was passed
on Prlme Mlnlster Imre Nagy,
a Communlst,
but not Moscow's klnd of Communlst.
(SENTENCE BEING READ IN HUNGARIAN)
Hungary had to walt more than 30 years
before It could properly taste
the freedom It had come
so close to wlnnlng In 1 956.
(MAN SPEAKING HUNGARIAN 0N TV)
PALIN: But perhaps
the most unsettllng exhlblt
In the House of Terror Is In the llft.
It's a macabre Intervlew wlth
a retlred prlson servlce employee
who attended executlons.
(MAN 0N TV SPEAKING HUNGARIAN)
After the uprlslng,
thousands of Hungarlans
were executed In places llke thls,
along wlth thelr prlme mlnlster,
Imre Nagy.
More than a quarter
of a mllllon fled abroad.
It's a rellef to get back to the
nolse and bustle of the boulevard.
But the one good thlng
about the whole grlm story
Is that, In 1 989, there was
a reburlal ceremony for Imre Nagy
here In Heroes Square.
Maybe It's a leftover
from the wealthy years
at the heart
of a Central European emplre,
but Budapest exudes
a styllshly confldent approach
to the way thlngs look,
and Kattl Zoob,
a theatrlcal costumler turned deslgner,
Is carrylng on the tradltlon
wlth some very cool fashlons.
Then why on earth has
she asked me to be one of her models?
- Hello! Hello!
- Hello, welcome!
It's Michael! Yes!
Yes, I've come to this palace of beauty
to be dressed for something or other!!!
Welcome! So please follow me!
Katti's already waiting for you!
I'm in your hands!
0kay, all right! Thanks!
PALIN: I've been In a terrlble tlzzy
as to what to wear.
I mean, these are not
my sort of places at all.
Lovely room!
Think I'd look nice in one of those?
W0MAN: I know! It's wonderful!
PALIN: Hello!
Z00B: Hello!
W0MAN: Katti, I would like
to introduce Michael to you!
PALIN: Hello!
Z00B: Hello! Hi, Michael! Thank you!
PALIN: Very, very nice to meet you!
Z00B: Nice to meet you!
PALIN: Yes, you've been very busy!
Z00B: 0h, thank you!
PALIN: Yeah, lots of wonderful things!
I don't know what you can do for me!
Z00B: You are my favourite!
(ALL LAUGHING)
Yeah, we're going behind the screens,
I think! Thank you very much!
Z00B: Hello!
PALIN: Yes!
Thank you! Thank you very much!
PALIN:
Well, that puts me at my ease a blt.
(LAUGHING AND GIGGLING)
(SPEAKING HUNGARIAN)
- What, is that!!!
- It's enough, thank you very much!
0ne leg's longer than
the other!!! Is that really?
- Really?
- Don't you measure the inside leg?
- No! Sorry, no!
- No, no! I'm just asking!
- Because most shop assistants do it!
- Because maybe I have a mistake!
(SPEAKING IN HUNGARIAN)
Thank you! You just sort of roughly!!!
- I have good eyes!
- You roughly sort of cover that!
- I have very good eyes!
- Yeah!
(LAUGHING) All right!
I'm rather frightened about this,
to be honest, Katti!
So can you set my mind at rest?
This show will be
some special, special event
for angels and devils!
- And I would like, if you!!!
- To be a devil!
- No!
- Aw, I want to be a devil!
- A little bit devil, a little bit angel!
- 0h, yes! All right!
For example, front side is angel!
Yes!
- 0r front side the devil!
- Yeah!
- I think it will be interesting!
- So I'm going to be sort of bi-moral?
I mean, a bit good, a bit bad!
Sorry, that was just!!!
- Bi-moral, like bisexual!
- Mmm-hmm!
- Bi-moral!
- Really?
Would you like a skirt?
Erm!!! No, I mean no!
- Some lace?
- I think!!!
Well, I might try that later, but I
think the trousers are probably better!
- Black lace skirt with white lining!
- Yes, yes, now you're talking!
- A sort of see-through kilt!
- No!
I would like!!!
(B0TH LAUGHING)
PALIN: Tonlght I'm seelng
a rather dlfferent slde of Budapest.
I've been Invlted to eat
at the Karpatla, whlch proclalms ltself
"the classlc Hungarlan restaurant
of Budapest slnce 1 877".
The owner, Akos Niklai,
wants me to hear hls dlscoverles,
two Gypsy vlollnlsts, father and son.
Thelr plece de reslstance
Is an Intrlcate plece
by the Romanlan composer Dlnlcu
calledThe Lark,
and It always brlngs the house down.
(PLAYING THE LARK)
PALIN: What a larkl
As they take a break,
Akos deals gracefully with
some rather lmpertlnent questlons.
Hungarians were people with impeccable
taste and very inventive people,
but you haven't had much luck in wars!
You've always sort of
backed the losing side!
Well, it happens twice to Hungary!
But it is not always
depending on the Hungarians, of course,
due to the location of the Hungary!
As a result of this, I think
50% of the territory
of Hungary was taken away!
And, again, in the Second World War
we had bad luck, but you also have
to remember the location of Hungary,
where we are located and,
obviously, Hungary
has a sort of strategic location!
Do you find there's any tendency
in Hungarians to be depressive?
I read somewhere that the country had
the highest suicide rate in the world!
I would say yes and no!
(HESITATING)
Hungarians have different moods!
Sometimes we are very sad
and sometimes we are extremely happy!
But there are situations
when it is hard to handle the pressure,
maybe we are
a little bit depressed, but!!!
- Aren't we all?
- That's life!
PALIN: Another example of Hungarlan
flalr Is a natlonal drlnk called Unlcum,
a dlgestlf produced to a secret formula
by none other than
my frlend Peter Zwack,
and he's asked me to a tastlng.
In the cellars,
he tells me how huge barrels of It
were once used to brldge the Danube.
ZWACK: These barrels were
floated on the Danube,
as so-called pontoon bridges,
because the temporary
wooden bridges were housed
on top of these barrels!
PALIN: A pontoon of Unicum barrels!
ZWACK: Pontoon of Unicum barrels!
PALIN: Was the Unicum
in the barrels at the time?
ZWACK: That I don't know! I don't know
if they would have sunk or not!
PALIN: They didn't realise what
a powerful bridge it was!
- Yeah!
- How popular is Unicum, Peter?
Well, thank God, it's very, very
popular, because if you take Hungary,
which is a population
of ten million people,
we sell five million bottles
only in Hungary!
So every second Hungarian drinks it!
So it's very, very popular!
- So who knows the secret?
- It's still in the family!
Now it's actually
my wife and I who know it!
0bviously, we can't afford
to divorce, you know?
But it's really a secret recipe!
And we very carefully watch it!
It's rather complicated how you!!!
The herbs in Unicum
come from all over the world!
ZWACK: It's unique!
There's nothing like it!
And the success of it is,
I always kiddingly even say
that 50% of the people will never
drink it again once they try it,
but the other 50% gets hooked on it!
They will never drink anything else!
- This is the moment of truth!
- The moment of truth!
- You know, when you taste this!!!
- Yes!
!!! I hope we're going to not end
our short-born friendship!
No, we'll remain friends,
but you might have to
come and visit me in hospital!
ZWACK: 0kay! You have to sort of
tap it a little bit because!!!
PALIN: 0h, I see!
- There we go!
- You drink it, do you, every day?
I drink it every day!
I drink one shot like this,
- Half a glass, every evening!
- 0kay!
Two glasses of wine and Unicum!
Well, here we go! Let's see if I'm one
of the 50% who do or the 50% who don't!
Knock it back in one?
- No!
- No! All right! 0kay, a sip!
I would say sip it!
Enjoy it, if you can!
Mmm!
That's magnificent!
It really is! I love that!
It's like being in the forest
in the middle of a gale!
Everything is blown at you!
All sorts of tastes and!!!
- I love the definition!
- It's very!!!
- 0h, very lively! Great!
- Complex!
Yes! And it's a bit fiery later on!
Yeah! Hmm!
- It is like a sort of blast of!!!
- Yeah!
!!! Concentrated mountain countryside!
PALIN: I've just one more engagement
left In thls seductlve clty.
Tonlght Is my debut as a model
at Kattl Zoob's summer show.
- You usually go and have a quiet!!!
- We are ready!
Everything is under control!
Because I have a lot of courage!
And you've done it before, haven't you?
You've done this before,
you've talked to audiences
and they all love you! I bet they go,
"Yeah, Katti! Wow, yeah, my girl!"
Well, I'll let you have
a little bit of peace and quiet!
I'll go talk
to some of my fellow models!
PALIN: 6.:30 and the guests are arrlvlng.
Suddenly, It's, well, serlous.
The doors are drawn back
and the eyes of Budapest's fashlonlstas
turn expectantly towards me.
Hello! Good evening!
As the oldest and the least beautiful
of all the models here tonight,
it is a great honour nevertheless
for me to be able to start this show!
As you can see, Katti has
brought out the devil in me tonight,
and this is going
to be the theme of the show!
And she is a marvellous designer!
It's been wonderful to work with her!
And now it's time! 0n with the show!
(INSTRUMENTAL R0CK MUSIC PLAYING)
PALIN: It's all over
far too soon for my llklng,
but, thanks to Kattl, my transformatlon
from qulet Sheffleld lad
to outrageous, old fashlon queen
Is complete.
Keletl Statlon Is Budapest's
gateway to the east.
In lts slze, scale
and the flourlsh of lts archltecture,
It's typlcally Hungarlan.
I'm looklng for the Tlsza Express
that runs between Budapest
and Lvlv In the Ukralne.
The Tlsza, named after
the second rlver of Hungary,
connects the capltal
wlth agrlcultural lands to the east.
I've grown rather used
to belng In Budapest,
It's so much the centre of the country,
wlth about 20%
of the populatlon llvlng here.
I've llttle Idea what the countryslde
beyond wlll look and feel llke.
I just hope the flowers aren't plastlc,
llke the ones on the traln.
Now thls looks llke my sort of place.
Mad Is well worth the detour,
for desplte the angry
and, posslbly, mad dogs,
It's the home
of somethlng rather speclal.
This is Mad! Well, actually the joke
doesn't work so well in Hungarian
because there's an accent,
so it's actually "Maad"!
But it's a small, modest village,
yet on the slopes here are grown
one of the most
highly prized wines in the world!
PALIN: These are the vlnes from whlch
the renowned sweet wlne Tokay Is made.
Durlng the Sovlet years they
produced quantlty rather than quallty,
but now skllled wlnemakers can produce
bottles costlng several hundred pounds.
The secret Is mlxlng wlne
from these grapes
wlth others affected
by botrytls, or noble rot,
whlch produces Aszu,
a julce from whlch wlne Is made
of the colour and prlce of gold.
Istvan Turoczl manages productlon for
the Brltlsh-owned Royal Tokajl Company.
TUR0CZl: It's a lovely, lovely cellar
stretching back to quite a long time!
- Yeah!
- Hundreds of years!
PALIN: The wlne Is matured In dark caves
over a hundred feet below ground,
a sultable place for Istvan to tell me
of the mysterlous power of Tokay Aszu.
I mean, it's been
a very famous wine for a long time!
I mean, who are the great people
who've enjoyed this?
For example,
the Queen Mother loved it very much,
who lived for 1 02 years!
She loved Tokay wine, Aszu wines!
- 0ur Queen Mother?
- Yes, she did!
Did she? Ah, yes,
she was very discerning, yeah!
And who else?
Queen Victoria, who got as present
a dozen of Aszu wine for each birthday!
The number of dozens
were as much as her age!
So it ended at her birthday of 81
with 972 bottles of Aszu wine
of different very good vintages
of each region!
- The advantage of living a long time!
- Yes!
Did they ever get
any reaction from Queen Victoria?
Did she say, "Look, you can stop now!
I'm not going to finish these"?
0r did she like the wine?
I think she loved the wine
as well as Queen Elizabeth!
PALIN: The beautlful nlne-arch brldge,
bullt almost two hundred years ago,
carrles me over the Tlsza Rlver
toward the Puszta,
the great Hungarlan plaln.
Legend has It that
thls land of dlstant horlzons
was where Attlla the Hun dled
of a nasal flux brought on by strenuous
sexual actlvlty wlth hls new brlde.
If only the blcycle
had been Invented then,
he could have had a much
more healthy hobby.
Nowadays the plaln Is
the provlnce of cowboys, called csikos,
and thelr herds of masslve and rather
Intlmldatlng Hungarlan grey cattle.
Tradltlonal methods are stlll used here.
The csikos water thelr llvestock
from shadoof-style wells
Ilke those I've seen In Afrlca.
Thank you!
Thls Is now a natlonal park,
and the survlval of the Hungarlan cowboy
Is In the hands of vlsltors llke us.
Plcklng up the Tlsza Express agaln,
I take It through
to the frontler town of Zahony,
and from there across Into the Ukralne,
my 1 2th country so far.
Crosslng the border Is
an upllftlng experlence.
Qulte llterally.
This is Chop,
just over the Ukrainian border!
It's the middle of the night,
and because of the incompatibility
of the European and Russian rail
networks, they're on a different gauge,
every coach has to be
sort of jacked up into the air!
They've got to physically change
all the bogies there!
And that's what they're doing
at the moment,
and, well, you can see people are
on the train in the middle of the night
and six feet up in the air!
These will all be changed!
I mean, it is quite dramatic!
But who's going to change?
The Russian rail network
or the European rail network?
This goes on!
PALIN: The traln havlng been
re-wheeled In an hour flat,
we're on our way and back to sleep.
A grey dawn In the Carpathlans.
The weather's very dlfferent
on thls slde of the mountalns.
Not the most beautlful
Introductlon to the clty of Lvlv,
whose Identlty has been
as murky as the weather,
changlng lts name four tlmes
In the last nlnety years.
Thank you! Thank you very much!
PALIN: Slnce 1 99 1, It's been
the western gateway to the Ukralne.
(CHURCH BELL RINGING)
Over the last century
armles and admlnlstratlons
swept In and out of Lvlv
wlth alarmlng regularlty,
but It was always the Intellectual and
splrltual home of Ukralnlan natlonallsm.
It's not a great day for slghtseelng,
or for gettlng marrled.
And they're dlgglng the streets up.
But the prosperlty that came
from Lvlv's days as a frontler town
between Europe and Russla
has left a legacy
even the weather can't dampen.
A damp morning in the Carpathians
and now a wet Sunday in Lviv,
but are we downhearted?
No, because, for me at any rate,
this place is an undiscovered gem!
At various times in its history
it's been Austrian, German,
Polish, Russian, now Ukrainian!
And it shows! I mean, you look around it
even on a lousy day like this,
this a truly European city!
Lvlv Is somewhere I'll come back to.
It has a clvlllsed charm
that deserves another chance.
And the dogs are frlendly.
I've been thls way before.
But when I last took a traln to Klev,
It wasn't part of the Ukralne.
I was fllmlng Pole To Pole
and thls was stlll the USSR.
On that journey, I got talklng to
a young Ukralnlan called Vadlm Castelll.
He sald he sensed somethlng In the alr,
somethlng dangerous and excltlng.
I see Ukrainian history being revived!
I see Ukrainian culture, you know,
the culture which many people
thought is gone forever!
Now we're getting back
to some of our roots!
There is so much to do here!
If one feels Ukrainian,
if one feels one's roots,
this is a very exciting period to live
through in the history of this land!
PALIN: And so It proved to be.
The collapse of the USSR led eventually
to the electlon
of Vlktor Yushchenko as Presldent
and the charlsmatlc
Yulla Tymoshenko as Prlme Mlnlster.
They called It the Orange Revolutlon.
(SPEAKING UKRAINIAN)
But Vlktor and Yulla fell out,
and when I arrlve In Klev
for a second tlme,
the ecstatlc scenes In Independence
Square are already a dlstant memory.
There are stlll tents In the square,
but there's a confuslon In the camps.
An electlon has just
dellvered a hung parllament.
Yulla can't work wlth Vlktor,
and Vlktor can't work wlth partles
that support closer llnks to Russla.
There's deadlock
and, untll It's broken, the falthful
are pledged to stay on the streets.
Who better to turn to for an explanatlon
than the stranger I met
on the traln all those years ago?
Vadim, the eyes of the world
were on this square
during the 0range Revolution
about a couple of years ago,
and the flags are out again!
Is this democracy in action in Ukraine?
You know, the real problem
is that many people in this country,
after so many years of Russian Empire
and of the Soviet Empire,
they were used to
being ruled by a strong hand
which does everything
very effectively without thinking about
such stupid things as democracy or, you
know, human rights or whatever it is!
So when we suddenly
got this president that we have now,
and this kind of a new government
which is democratic in its ideas,
which means slow and not as effective
as the authoritarian regimes,
many people just don't get it!
They say, "0h, we want a strong!!!
We want discipline, we want order!"
There's a lot of young people
out there in the tented city!
I mean, do they believe
in a democratic future for Ukraine?
I think they are beginning to understand
that this strange beast called democracy
includes a number of
very problematic things
that young people want to have!
Like a possibility
to go abroad and to study there!
Like a possibility to speak openly
without being afraid
of the policemen behind you!
We last met 1 5 years ago,
and you sort of
made your prediction, you said,
"Things are going to move slowly,
but they are going to change!"
When we next meet, if we're both
still alive in 1 5 years' time,
what do you think you'll be saying
about the world then and about Ukraine?
Ukraine, by that time, should be
much more sovereign,
much more independent,
well, of course, much more prosperous!
Hopefully a part,
a real part, of the European family!
And perhaps led politically
by a good-looking lady!
- Who could that be?
- Well there are a couple of!!!
0h, there's a few photos around,
I noticed!
- Let's have a look!
- Yes, her!
CASTELLl: How do you like
that lady over there?
PALIN: 0h, yes, she's nice!
Would you like to run Ukraine?
CASTELLl: Who knows? In 1 5 years she can
grow up to become a leading politician!
PALIN: Baslng her appeal on an lmage
of wholesome Ukralnlan womanhood,
Yulla Tymoshenko Is stlll eye-catchlng,
but now she has competltlon
from her daughter.
In a Klev monastery, Eugenla Tymoshenko
recently marrled Sean Carr,
a market trader from Leeds.
Sean's not a polltlclan.
(HEAVY R0CK MUSIC PLAYING)
Satan's laughing and he cracks a joke
The whole world is going up in smoke ♪
He's a Death Valley Screamer.
Unable to make much headway In the UK,
the group he founded
has taken Ukralne by storm.
Come on, Eastern Europe
Come on, Eastern Europe
Take it up, come on ♪
Sean and Eugenla have thrown themselves
behlnd the Tymoshenko campalgn,
and I catch up wlth them on
a morale-boostlng vlslt to the troops.
I mean, Sean, you know,
you're a Yorkshireman!
We don't do this sort of thing
in England, do we?
- Put up tents in Westminster Square?
- Good Lord, no! I don't know, it's!!!
What do you think of it?
At first, I thought it was
very, very strange!
It was a massive shock,
but now it's!!! They need to do this!
This a last,
well, not just a last resort,
but this is a peaceful way
of resolving things!
It's an amazing situation,
and amazing to meet
someone like yourself here,
so we'll watch, we'll see what goes on!
- Let's have a look around!
- All right! 0kay!
PALIN: I'm not the only one
followlng them around,
and as they don't get much
tlme to themselves here,
they Invlte me to thelr country
house for lunch the next day.
(BORN TO BE WILD PLAYING)
Sean doesn't do publlc transport,
or a saddle, actually.
But he doesn't half get you there fast.
- That's the way to arrive! Thanks!
- 0kay!
PALIN: The blke may be
top of the market,
but the house,
In the woods outslde Klev,
Is qulte modest
by the standards of pop arlstocracy.
As we slt and have a drlnk,
I can't help thlnklng that my fellow
Yorkshlreman flts In rather well here.
There's a touch of a Cossack about hlm.
Does your mother-in-law
like your music, Sean?
Yeah, she likes, she likes it
to a certain extent! I wouldn't
imagine she would go out there
and bop around to it,
but, yeah, she likes what we're doing!
I think she appreciates
that we've worked really hard
and we've brought
a new sort of music here!
It's very strange because
what we do in England,
I mean, you see it every night in a pub!
You know, you walk in,
there's a band playing!
Whereas here, you play
and the reaction is just phenomenal!
Everybody! I mean, we've had
70-year-old grandmas coming down
wearing Death Valley Screamer shirts
and they're all bopping around!
It's just like, hang on a minute!
What's going on here?
It's fantastic!
Do you think that, sorry!!!
Yeah, I was just going to say
that my mom wanted to keep him
dressed on the stage,
because he always takes his shirt off!
You know, she was worried about that,
but after some time she accepted it
as the way to be! Rock 'n' roll!
PALIN: That's very English, you know!
You have fun, you take your shirt off,
CARR: Yeah, put your hair down!
If your mother came to power,
do you think there'd be a chance
of a cabinet post for Sean?
Minister of Culture?
Yeah, he wants be
Minister of Roads, I think!
CARR: I'd get the roads
sorted out! It's the first job!
I think Sean would be a good advisor,
you know, on the system of the roads
and how they should be!
PALIN: Minister of Rock and Roads!
That'd be good, wouldn't it?
- PALIN: Rock and Roads, yeah!
- Lf they paid me well!
I think you were the first Soviet girl,
one of the first Soviet girls
ever to go to an English public school!
I mean, has this been
a good experience for you?
I really enjoyed
my years there, and I think,
although some papers say
the system is not very good any more,
you know, the public school system
should be changed,
but I think it's great!
It's a great system!
PALIN: Well, that's very good for Rugby,
they'll like that!
- Yeah!
- Yes!
What attracted
a demure English public schoolgirl
like yourself to this wild,
rock-and-rolling, motorbike maniac?
(TYM0SHENK0 LAUGHS)
I guess, you know,
the first time I saw him,
he looked really unusual,
and I've always liked bikes
and music like this,
so I thought, ah, he's like
a rock musician, he must be!
So I said, "I have to pass by him
and see what he looks like!"
But, you know, afterwards it's
not really about bikes or music,
it's more about Sean's personality,
that he's a really, really kind person
and a lovely, lovely person!
That's why it's not really about!!!
But, of course, it adds
a lot of excitement into my life!
PALIN: It was just the bike!
It was the bike!
Something I've never tried before!
- PALIN: Be honest about it, now!
- Yeah!
- Yeah, I have to admit it to you!
- PALIN: Admit it, admit it!
PALIN: As Sean drlves me back,
I can't help hoplng hls mother-ln-law
wlll one day get back Into power.
Ukralne could use
a new Mlnlster of Roads.
Klev could be a European clty,
wlth lts glltterlng skyllne
of Chrlstlan monasterles,
but the huge 300-foot monument
called Natlon's Mother,
glven to the clty In Sovlet tlmes,
faces towards Moscow,
and there are many here
who would llke Ukralne to do the same.
The Dnleper Rlver flows
through Klev to the Black Sea,
close to my next port of call,
the Crlmea.
(MAN SPEAKING UKRAINIAN 0VER PA)
PALIN: Thousands make for
the Crlmean coast every summer,
leavlng the traln at Slmferopol
and contlnulng on by trolleybus.
Yalta?
Ah, good! Thank you!
PALIN: The route was opened In 1 959
as cheap travel for the masses.
But It's not just
any old suburban servlce.
It covers 5 1 mlles
and crosses a 2,500-foot pass.
The Number 52 from Slmferopol to Yalta
Is one of the great trolleybus journeys
of the world.
Mlnd you, It does take three hours.
I've come all thls way
because In February, 1 945
a conference was held here In Yalta
that was to change the face of Europe.
This is the Livadiya Palace,
the summer home of Russia's last czar,
the ill-fated Nicholas II!
It's also the place
where In 1 945 the fate of Europe
was declded by three powerful men,
Joseph Stalln of the USSR,
Presldent Roosevelt of the USA
and Brltaln's Prlme Mlnlster,
Wlnston Churchlll.
Presldent Roosevelt was a slck man.
Observers descrlbed hlm
as looklng frall and III.
Indeed, wlthln three months
of the conference he'd be dead.
But because of his condition, he was
given a room here in Livadiya Palace,
because it was only
a short wheelchair ride from there
through into
the main conference chamber!
PALIN: Around thls table the
Blg Three leaders and thelr delegatlons
argued for four days
over the borders
and boundarles of thelr new Europe.
When the day's horse-trading was over,
Churchill and the British delegation
returned to their villa!
It was built by Count Vorontsov,
who spent 20 years
and a countless fortune building it
and never lived in it!
Churchill loved this lion particularly!
He told Stalin,
"It's like me, only without the cigar!"
PALIN: In the great hall
of the Vorontsov vllla,
subsldlary meetlngs were held
by the forelgn mlnlsters
to thrash out the flne detall.
Whether the Vorontsov villa was
bugged or not is a moot point,
but the two observations
by one of Churchill's party
suggests someone
might have been listening in!
For instance,
in completely private conversation,
someone mentioned they had seen
a fish tank and it was empty of fish!
Two days later, full of goldfish!
A similar confidential conversation
about not finding
enough lemon peel for the cocktails
resulted, two days later,
in a lemon tree in the conservatory!
Maybe coincidence!
Behind all the conviviality
and the toastings
and the mutual backslapping,
one inescapable fact
hung over all their discussions!
The Red Army already
occupied Eastern Europe!
Because of thelr vast
resources of men and materlals,
Stalln wasn't prepared to glve an Inch.
At the end of the final sessions,
Stalin put his name to a document
promising free and unfettered elections
in all the countries
occupied by the Red Army!
They never happened!
Wlthln weeks Churchlll
had wrltten to Roosevelt
saylng that he thought they'd slgned up
to a fraudulent manlfesto.
This was scant consolation
for the people of the Baltic states
of Poland, Hungary,
Czechoslovakia and Romania!
For us, the war ended in 1 945!
For them, as a result
of what was signed here,
it could have been said
to have gone on for another 50 years!
PALIN: I'd always lmaglned
Yalta to be a cold, grey place,
so It's qulte a shock to flnd
It's the hollday destlnatlon of cholce
for Ukralnlans and Russlans,
wlth packed beaches and
some Interestlng twln cltles.
Pozzuoli, Italy!
Rhodes, Greece!
Sanya, China!
Fujisawa, Japan!
And Margate, England!
Hello, Margate!
You're remembered in Yalta!
PALIN: I wonder If those
sandwlched on these beaches
have any Idea of Yalta's clalm to fame?
I ask Anya, a local glrl,
who's worklng to brlng
even more tourlsts here.
Do many of the people come here,
or indeed yourself, who live here, Anya,
do they know about
the peace conference in Yalta in 1 945?
0f course, and the Livadiya Palace
where that was held
is one of the most
popular sightseeing objects!
So people are aware that Stalin
and Churchill and Roosevelt got here
and the significance for Europe!
- That is true, that is correct!
- What do people think of Stalin?
Um!!!
Well, there are
different points of view on that!
Some people who
remember the Communist days
treat him as a very fair
and very firm leader!
But some think that he was too cruel,
I would say!
What do you think, from your studies?
I've studied from different books
and I'm still looking for my answer!
You live here! Would you go and sunbathe
on a beach like that over there?
- I know better places!
- Ah!
I have my own places!
PALIN: Crlmean polltlclans were
tradltlonally pro-Moscow,
but as we walk along the prom,
I'm qulte surprlsed to flnd
the great revolutlonary hlmself
stlll on hls feet,
starlng sternly out to sea.
Why has Lenin survived here in Yalta,
in Ukraine, after all, not even Russia,
when so many other places
have removed him?
Well, Crimea was Russian
until 1 954 and people here,
like in the east of Ukraine,
are pro-Russian!
And many of them have positive,
nice memories of the Soviet days
and it was decided to keep the monument
as part of the historical heritage!
After all, you cannot
tear a page out of history, can you?
PALIN: But tonlght Is
my last nlght here,
and I declde to close the hlstory books
and surrender to the relentless
hedonlsm of Margate's twln town.
Now, If I were here
wlth my grandson Archle,
what would he want to see me dolng?
Oh, no. No. Not thlsl
I've got a feeling that there are things
about Yalta that I shall remember
even more than the peace conference!
Here we go!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
(EXCLAIMING)
0h, I'm glad I wore my jacket!
Then I can throw up in the pocket!
(W0MEN SCREAMING)
PALIN: Thls Is the furthest east
I'll get In New Europe.
Next tlme I'll be In the Baltlcs.
Ahhh!
Whoa!
(EXCLAIMING)
0kay, I confess!
I never wanted to do another series!
Hlmalaya was enough for me!
I'll never do another one! Whoa!
Archie, if you can see me now,
I did it for you!
(W0MEN SCREAMING)