Now Apocalypse (2019) s01e04 Episode Script

1 NARRATOR: Previously on Now Apocalypse: She's doing top-secret government work and shit.
From the moment me and Gabriel met there was this supernatural connection between us, and then he disappears.
My ex Mustafa is in town.
SEVERINE: I'm so relieved we are no longer burdened with fear and possessiveness.
[sobbing.]
It's just like we're teetering on the brink of total annihilation.
I'm been camming online for money.
- Ahh! - Oh, fuck! I'm going to be reading with you, so do you have any questions before we get started? Nope, I uh, I don't think so.
Great.
Cassie, if you don't watch out, you're gonna get hurt.
Bad, bad, real bad.
Look, I don't care.
I don't care what happens to me.
Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there, okay? Oh, uh, I'm sorry, did I do something? No, actually you didn't do anything.
It was just so "natural" that it was putting me to sleep.
Okay, so let's try it again and actually try acting.
- Okay.
- And from the top, okay.
Cassie, if you don't watch out, you're gonna get hurt, bad, bad, real bad.
Look, I don't care! Okay, I don't care what happens to me! I'm sorry, are you joking right now? That was insane, way too much.
- Way too big, okay, let's do it again.
- Oh, sorry, yeah.
- No, no, don't be sorry.
- [chuckles nervously.]
- Maybe split the difference.
- Split the difference.
Find humanity somewhere in between.
- Yeah, okay.
- Between like nothing and clown.
- Yes.
- Okay, great.
[clears throat.]
Cassie, if you don't watch out, you're gonna get hurt, bad, bad, real bad.
Look, I don't care.
All right, I don't care what happens to me.
I don't really care what happens to you either.
Cassie, if you don't watch out, you're gonna get hurt, bad, bad, real bad.
I don't care.
[voice trembles.]
I don't care what happens to me, I jus Look, you only go around once in life and How about this? Stand up.
Stand up, can you do that? I don't care.
Look, I don't care what happens to me! Cassie, if you don't watch out, you're gonna get hurt, bad, bad, bad, real bad.
I don't care what happens to me.
Look, I just fuck, what are my lines? You only go around once in life, [mouthing quietly.]
And my motto is and my motto is that you just gotta go for it.
That was great, thank you so much.
We'll call you.
This is what you get when you mess with love This is what you get when you mess with Love [moaning.]
[grunting.]
[crying.]
[grunting.]
[moaning.]
[grunting.]
CARLY: Dude, I'm fucking quitting acting.
What are you talking about? That guy just sounds like an asshole on his man period.
And I'm sick of being at the mercy of assholes.
It's like I'm the dom, not the sub.
This whole masochism shit is not on brand for me.
Sorry.
What ever happened to that web series that you were writing? It's almost done, but so what? Finish it, and I'll help you film it.
I took a production class in college.
I got a C, but So what, you're gonna shoot it on your iPhone or something? Yeah.
Come on, come on, it'll be fun.
Mmm, famous last words.
I don't know, I mean it would give me something to focus on besides my non-existent career.
And trolling Craigslist for a new roommate.
How's that going by the way? It is like extras casting for a David Lynch movie.
[chuckles.]
[panting and gasping.]
CARLY: Dude, that is so beyond the valley of fucked up.
I know, and I'm pathetic enough to text back at 3 am saying yes, I'll fucking meet you in the middle of the fucking night.
And so I'm sitting there, like a dotard, waiting for him to message me where to go, and the maniac never texts back.
So then what? I fucking fell asleep.
And then when I woke up in the morning, the entire message chain was gone.
Like it never happened, like I dreamt the whole thing.
Did you? Did I what? Dream the whole thing? No.
I don't think so.
Whatever, the, the take away from all of this, is that Gabriel's hotness does not outweigh his pathological flakiness.
Right? Hmm? Yeah, yeah, of course.
Hello Lars, I'm running a little late.
Follow protocol and don't take any bio-genetic samples until I arrive on site.
See you soon.
[tense music.]
[tires screeching.]
Hello? Is anyone there? Hello? [knocking.]
[knocking repeats.]
[mouthing.]
Who are you? Oh, hi.
Sorry, the uh, the doorbell.
Yeah, the-the that doesn't work.
Oh, this must be for my roommate.
All right.
Thanks, Tl-at-uh-lah-ti.
It's Tlayolotl.
Mexican indigenous name.
Friends just call me T.
[moaning and gasping.]
[sexy music.]
So, I'm actually looking to fill the room, ASAP, so it would be great if you could tell me a little about yourself.
I'm Niall, I'm from Vancouver.
I don't have a job at the moment.
But I have over thirty-two thousand Instagram followers.
So I'm really focusing on trying to monetize that right now.
I spend most of my days lamenting Western imperialism.
My interests include labor strikes, premium grade matcha, and the downfall of society as we know it.
Well, technically I'm pangender, which means I'm a member of a vast and diverse multiplicity of genders that expands infinitely over time.
WOMAN: It's sort of a mix between performance art and social activism.
I, like, build a red tent and film myself bleeding in it for a week.
I view my period cramps as a vehicle for purging collective global and inherited pain.
ULYSSES: So, is this like your thing? You're like the hot delivery guy whose life is basically one long, never-ending porno? No, no I'm married actually.
Wait, what? Yeah, and straight.
Well, yeah, mostly.
Okay, uh, you don't wear a ring.
Well, you know, I lost so many of them at work, I just stopped wearing them.
My wife's cool with it.
Wait, what? Oh no, I meant about me not wearing a ring.
Oh no, if she found out about oh, she'd flip.
She's, uh, pretty religious.
Um, are you? No, not so much.
I mean I was, my dad's a preacher.
- Whoa, shit.
- Yeah.
- Really? - Yeah, he would not be pleased.
[chuckles.]
He's one of these people that thinks that gay sex causes hurricanes.
- Wow, that must suck.
- Yeah.
You know, it's all right.
I mean, it's not like I do this very often.
It's just sometimes, I meet someone like you, and uh, you know, shit happens.
Ah, fuck, you are so hot that it's painful.
[laughs.]
CARLY: Where is your dick, dude? Like, literally, it's so small I can't even fucking see it.
[gasps.]
Like, I could fit ten of your dicks in my ass and not even feel it.
What do you do to jerk-off, do you use your pinkie? Like this? [laughs.]
Let me see you jerk that tiny little nub, I wanna see if it's even possible.
Oh shit, is that a dick or is that just an awkwardly large clit? I mean how many testosterone shots did you have to get to engorge your clit that much? I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm too small for you.
Your dick looks like a dot that I saw under a microscope in my high school biology class.
Like what is that, a molecule of like fucking algae? - [moans.]
- Or what? - Is this right? - Don't talk.
MAN: Just lie there.
I said no blinking! If you can't keep yourself from blinking, just shut your eyes.
Sorry.
MAN: Thank you all for joining us tonight.
I have been leading this circle jerk for two years now and I deeply believe that being able to talk about sex in the company of other men can be a very powerful healing experience.
First off, please introduce yourself and share a few words about what you're feeling at this moment.
I'll go first.
I'm Neil, and I'm feeling pumped up about tonight.
I'm Tony, I'm kind of nervous, but I'm really honored to be a part of this.
Yo, I'm George, I feel a little uncomfortable.
Think I maybe got a sunburn earlier.
[chuckles.]
Other than that though, I'm totally stoked to be here and I'm really hoping to connect.
So is this anyone's first time to circle jerk? Oh ho, virgins! Just joking, guys.
Welcome.
EVERYONE: Welcome.
Stop it.
I'm uh, I'm uh Ulysses, EVERYONE: Hi, Ulysses.
Um, this is my first time doing something like this.
Yeah no, that's it.
Yeah, that's it.
Well, we're thrilled to have you here, Ulysses.
Both of you.
And just so you know, we're very open-minded here.
Aren't we Tony? Wide open.
Yeah, so uh, I'm Ford and I'm like super-excited to be here for a while now I've been just feeling um just totally bummed and really confused because [sighs.]
I really love my girlfriend.
It's all right, Ford.
This is a safe space.
Go on, just let it all out.
So I know it's old school, but I feel like Severine That's my girlfriend, and as I honestly, I feel like she could be my soul mate.
Don't you think so? Yeah, yup.
Anyway, it's like our bodies, they just fit together, you know? But it-it's God, it's so hard for me to even say it.
It's okay, man.
Yeah, Ford, we're here for you and we all support you.
Oh yes, we think it's amazingly brave of you to come out and express your feelings with such honesty.
Thanks, guys that It really means a lot.
Well, speaking your truth, Ford, is not easy.
But you should never be ashamed of who you are or what you desire.
I know, right? Maybe I'm old-fashioned.
You know, maybe I, I just want things to go back to how they were in the good old days, like maybe I just want to sleep with one woman at a time! MAN: What? Did he just say? Yeah, maybe I can clarify what's happened here.
Um, we're not.
I mean, I am, but, but, but, Ford is not.
Oh? Oh! MEN: Oh! [whispers.]
What is he talking about? I'll tell you in the car.
[door shuts.]
[alarm beeps.]
[keys clink.]
[sighs.]
FORD: At first, non-monogamy seemed fun.
Like we had a cool threesome with this terrorist lady, and afterward my girlfriend and I felt so connected.
But then, right after that she told me she slept with her ex.
[all gasp.]
And I thought, I can't be mad, right? I signed up for this.
But I do feel mad.
Is my brain wrong for feeling this way? No, Ford, your brain's not wrong.
That's fucked up, yo.
You gotta talk that shit out.
I'm not saying put that bitch on a leash, but at least install some invisible fencing, you know? We refrain from using derogatory words like bitch here.
But I have to agree with George.
This is a situation where it's important to have an open conversation with your partner.
Can you say to her, "When you slept with your ex it hurt me?" Yeah, Ford, men have feelings too.
EVERYONE: Men have feelings too.
Men have feelings too.
Men have feelings too.
Men having feelings too.
Men have feelings too! ALL TOGETHER: Men have feelings too! [upbeat music.]
ALL TOGETHER: Men have feelings too! Can you angle me down a little bit? Uh, yeah, sure, okay.
Okay.
Wow.
Perfect.
You look so hot.
Oh, thank you, um, by the way I uh, I've never done this before, I mean, like for an audience, obviously, so I feel so honored.
All right, Worm, you ready? WORM: Very.
Okay, here goes.
[sighing.]
Hold on, it's almost there.
C'mon baby, show me that wet pink flower.
Okay, shh, I'm trying to focus, hold on.
Sorry.
Fuck, you're making me pee shy.
Sorry, is there anything I can do to help? Yeah, can you just like uh, I don't know, like look away for a second? Uh, where am I supposed to look? Lo-look anywhere else, Worm, just I don't know, close your eyes for a minute.
Okay.
Okay, okay, it's coming, open your eyes.
Open your eyes.
- Ooh, yeah - [urinating.]
- you like that? - Oh yeah.
It's getting everywhere.
Oh, wow, such a powerful stream.
Yeah, you like that you little pee-slut? Oh, yeah, I love it, I love it, oh fuck.
Do you know how much I want to taste your - hot, sweet, golden nectar? - [moaning.]
Oh, baby, I want to drink your warm cocktail.
If I was lucky enough to be lie beneath you, I wouldn't waste a drop.
Yeah, that is some precious urine right there.
So, I like, I went to this meeting tonight.
It was like a bunch of guys hanging out, shooting the shit, yeah sort of like a locker room, except less moldy smelling and nobody gets naked.
But in a way, you do.
- You mean a support group? - Yeah, I guess? Ah, this guy George describes it as a male coven, which I guess is a type of stove.
But, it was really cool because I basically learned that feelings aren't just a girl thing.
Anyway, I have something I need to tell you.
Just wait, I need to get my sponsor on the phone.
Yo, I'm just available for support, if needed.
Uh, what is this? That's George.
Okay, Ford, go ahead, I got you, dawg.
Sev, when you slept with your ex-boyfriend Mustafa, it made me feel really bad and really sad.
I don't want to control you, because I know you totally hate that, but I also don't want to be in a relationship that makes me feel like I constantly have side cramps.
Ford, you know I believe that monogamy is an arbitrary cage forced upon us by the miserable capitalist patriarchy.
However, I do care for you very much, so I'm sorry if my actions have inspired any negative feelings on your part.
You are? Really? Yes.
Oh God, that's so beautiful.
How about this? If we want to be with another person, we can do it together.
Wow, y-you'd be okay with that? For now, yes.
We can think of this as an incubation period.
That sounds awesome.
Uh, right George? Hell yeah, fantastic progress guys! [laughs.]
Oh and I just want to say, if you're looking for a volunteer to help you, you know, explore If the earth was ravaged by a nuclear war and you were the last man alive, I still wouldn't fuck you.
[phone beeps.]
I still have some work I need to finish.
Okay, all right.
I'll join you in the bedroom in a bit.
Mm, okay, yeah, I'll uh, keep your side of the bed warm.
That's not really necessary, but thank you.
CARLY: That's fucking Crayola.
The guy literally came like eight times, it was unreal, and needless to say, odd as fuck.
No, it's biologically impossible.
I was there, I counted.
So what, the dude just like waltzes in, nuts eight times and then hops back in his little delivery truck and finishes his route? Pretty much.
I know this sounds super un-PC but there's something so hot about guys on the DL.
It's like, they're so repressed and then when they finally get some it's like this great deluge.
Of cum, apparently.
[laughs.]
Yeah.
Oh my God, dude, are you fucking stoned right now? Maybe I smoked a little bit before my shift, yeah.
Do they not drug test you? Only when I applied, and I had Ford pee in a cup for me.
Speaking of pee Oh my God, what? I'm sorry, Ford, but I'm quite tired.
Oh, okay.
[bed squeaks.]
I really appreciate you sharing your feelings so honestly and openly.
Let's just cuddle instead.
[sighs.]
Do you know what? Let's just have sex.
But I thought you weren't in the mood? Of the options presented, it's the most agreeable.
Cool.
[Severine grunts.]
Actually, why don't you just lie back and relax? Oh, all right.
Ooh, fuck [gasps.]
Oh my God, it feels so good.
Oh, oh, Sev, oh, I love you.
Oh, I love you! Oh, I love you so much.
Oh, oh I love you! Oh, I love you.
Oh I love you, I love you, I love you, ahhh! [grunts, moans.]
Oh, oh, oh my God, that felt amazing.
Do you want to come too? No thank you.
[Ford sighs.]
Goodnight.
Uh, well thanks.
Holy mother.
Babe, babe, babe, babe, wake up, wake up.
What? Oh my God, Sev, I You're not gonna believe this.
What? What is it? Barnabus just invited us to this huge, kick-ass party this weekend.
In Palm Springs.
What are you talking about? One of his buddies, this dude Thor Goswell, who's like this hot shit CAA agent, has a giant mansion out there and it's his birthday, and everybody who is anybody is gonna be there.
- That sounds - Off the fricking hook.
Oh shit, what are you doing this weekend? Masturbating, why? Feel like going to Palm Springs? What? Ford just texted and asked if we want to go to Palm Springs for the weekend with him and Severine and stay at the Jacobs, for free, courtesy of that creepy benefactor dude of his.
- Fuck you.
- Serious.
Fuck you.
Is that a fuck you yes or like a fuck you, I hate Palm Springs? Fuck you! [screams.]
Dude, what was that? Hello? Hey, um I don't know.
[louder screams.]
Oh God! Oh God! Yeah, um I'm gonna have to call you back.
Okay, just be careful.
I gotta I I'm gonna call you back.
[tablet beeps.]
[chair creaks.]
Hello? [ominous music.]
[thudding.]
You can't be here.
You you have to go.
Please? [tense string music.]
[fast, frantic music.]