Parade's End s01e04 Episode Script
Episode 4
There's some talk against your boy.
If the woman that's come between you and Sylvia is our little suffragette I want you to swear on your St Anthony that you won't leave me.
I'll do no such thing.
Will you be my mistress tonight? Yes! My husband is going out to war tomorrow.
But I'd keep off the grass.
You cannot conceive of the explosives the armies throw at each other.
Had the stuffing knocked out of me.
GUNSHO I won't take his money.
You usually forgive a fellow who shoots himself.
I don't.
Couldn't you bring yourself to seduce that little kitchen maid? There'd have been a chance for us.
What I stand for is gone.
And yet I may not say this is an accursed war.
This programme contains some strong language.
This programme contains some scenes which some viewers may find upsetting Edward's command is at Rouen, or "somewhere in France", we're supposed to say.
Bertram tells me you lost a window during the last raid? Are you going to the Sackvilles'? I thought so.
.
.
it's also to tell the French, best shut up about the single command.
No, no votes for you I'm afraid.
It's going to be for married women over 30.
It's a serious problem on the whole front.
Horses decimated by pink-eye.
You should put that fellow, Hotchkiss, in charge of the horse lines.
The warhorse needs to be hardened.
Mollycoddling will ruin him.
Hotchkiss is the man you need in France.
Hotchkiss? You'll find him in Horse World, advertising embrocation.
"Get hold of Hotchkiss!" The Comet will back you.
The Comet's first edition, My Lord.
General, Sylvia wants a pass to the Infantry Base Depot in Rouen.
She wants to see her husband.
Strictly out of bounds to wives, I'm afraid, Mrs Tietjens.
Hmm, and what about mistresses? Here you are, Bertram.
Might as well spoil your dinner as your breakfast! The Comet exposes the scandal of our out-of-touch command in Flanders.
I'm sure it does, but it's your own fault for building up General Perry in the first place.
Wait until the German spring offensive gives him a bloody nose, Beichen, and then we can bring him home.
Is that why you're keeping the Commander-in-Chief short of troops, Bertram? If we gave Perry the men, he'd lose half of them in a week.
If I had my way, we'd let the French go to blazes.
Quite.
There won't always be a European war, but there'll always be an Empire.
What about Salonika, Bertram? Salonika? Nathan, isn't that where your people originally Not originally, my dear! THEY ALL LAUGH POLITELY I say, it would be nice if we could forget the war just for five minutes TRUMPETS AND CANNON FIRE I give up! Move to adjourn.
Come on, my dear.
GUNFIRE AND EXPLOSION NEARBY EXPLOSION Mother! I'm just finishing.
It'll be the finish of you if you don't EXPLOSION Mother! I'm writing to Christopher.
At least HE isn't in the casualty lists.
I always look.
Of course he's not.
He's not in the fighting.
His brother got him into a job looking after horses! EXPLOSIONS CONTINUE TRUMPETS PLAY There's the all-clear.
Sylvia, I need you to rally round.
Johnny's behaving appallingly.
Oh, what, you mean about your divertissement? It's not a divertissement.
I'm bolting! Oh, Bobbie! You mean you and? But he's It's not his fault he's a Jew.
Fat, I was going to say.
It's his fault he's fat.
He wants to marry me.
So I need you to get Johnny over the hump.
No, just take him out and about.
He's a good old sausage.
I want to do my best for him.
That's all very well, but I've a mind to visit Christopher in France.
I've written to General Campion.
I wish Tietjens would write to his damned wife, or, at any rate, stop her from writing to me.
It's not my job to reassure the wives of officers their husbands are still alive, damn it.
It's bad enough having to write to them when they're not.
There's a movement order come in for Captain Tietjens, sir, from the War Office, Room G14-R.
It was mis-routed and has only now caught up, I'm afraid.
Movement? To where? Divisional horse transport.
Well, you can tell Room G14-R, whoever the hell they are, that I'm not parting with Captain Tietjens! He's the only officer on the base who can get his draft into marching order on time.
Not that he isn't a confounded nuisance.
I could give them Captain McKechnie when he's back from divorce leave.
He's sane enough for horses, isn't he? Captain McKechnie HAS returned from leave, sir, but he omitted to get divorced.
How DARE he not get divorced! He told me his wife was co-habiting with anEgyptian, wasn't it? Some sort of dago, anyway.
No, sir, an EGYPTOLOGIST.
They've agreed to share her.
That dirty dog! I'll strip him of his commission! A damn fine officer when he isn't going mad, and a Vice Chancellor's Latin prize man, as well.
Another brilliant fellow, like Tietjens.
That's a thought.
They can be brilliant together.
BELL RINGS Does "subter" take the accusative or the ablative? Both.
Accusative when it's "under" as a motion, and ablative when it's "under" as a state.
" pictured at Lady Hazlitt's Ball "with the Honourable Johnnie Pelham" ".
.
Mrs Christopher Tietjens, "whose husband is in hospital at the Front"! Sylvia must have told them that herself.
HE SCOFFS The paper wouldn't put the knife into her.
Women like Sylvia are the jam on their bread and butter.
But why would she do that? To let him know she's on the warpath.
Well, don't worry about Christopher, it was only pneumonia, and not at the Front.
He's 100 miles from the nearest German trench.
His job is kitting out fresh troops on their way to the fighting.
Nothing to worry about but air raids.
But are they dropping bombs on him? My dear, they're dropping bombs on you, and yet here you are.
But I thought Christopher was looking after horses somewhere safe.
That's the War Office for you.
But an Infantry Base Depot is a soft posting, so long as you're not sent back to your battalion.
Anything but the trenches! THEY ROAR AND SCREAM Move it, move it, move it! Shoulderarms! Presentarms! Shoulderarms! Quickmarch! Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right Hmm.
General Campion is attaching Captain McKechnie to my unit for rations and discipline.
What's that about? I can't say as I can say, sir.
"A Vice-Chancellor's Latin prize man".
Well, I'm sure that will come in useful(!) fire-extinguishers.
We indented the Royal Engineers.
Sir.
The Royal Engineers said, as per army directive 1BDR 3417, for fire-extinguishers, we should apply to Ordnance.
Ordnance said there's no provision for them for Canadian units passing through an Infantry Base Depot, and that the proper course would be to obtain them from a civilian firm and charge them against barrack damages.
Yes, sir.
I have here a letter from the leading British manufacturer of fire-extinguishers, telling me that they have been forbidden by the War Office to sell fire-extinguishers to anyone but to the War Office direct.
Thank God we have a navy.
Yes, sir.
Cardiff Police Office 0-9 Morgan is outside, sir.
Application for compassionate leave.
His wife has sold their laundry business to someone, name of Evans.
Now she can't get the money.
True in as far as it goes.
The police say his wife is now living with Mr Evans, a prize-fighter, and we should keep 0-9 Morgan here if we know what's good for him.
In he comes.
Sir.
0-9 Morgan, present yourself to the officer, at the double! Well now, 0-9 Morgan .
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because there are things I have to discuss with Christopher, and what is the point in being permanent secretary of the Department of Transport if you can't transport me - I put it like that - between London and Rouen? This is family business, Mark.
I have to go to the office.
SHE SIGHS As far as I'm concerned, Groby is Christopher's to do what he likes with.
So if you can produce his written authorisation, I have no objection to your living at Groby.
But, of course, if what you say is true, he might want to live at Groby with Miss Wannop.
Well, that's why I'm asking you now I'm afraid you overestimate my authority, which does not extend to France, and in any case, does not exceed General Campion's in matters that concern the army.
Thank you for coming to see me.
Utter nonsense! I'll buy a ticket at the station! See if they can stop me.
Never known a woman like her.
She says she's going to come and see for herself! On no account On NO account is Mrs Tietjens to be allowed within 50 miles of Rouen.
Understood? Inform the War Office, the Provost Marshal, the port authorities and the rail authorities.
I will not have skirts around my HQ! More importantly, General Perry is now on the telephone twice a day.
He has troops who were due to be relieved weeks ago, and I have troops waiting for Ordnance to supply them with eyebrow tweezers while our political masters keep changing their minds whether to send them up the line or ship them to Salonika or Mesopotamia or Timbuktu! But I have one draft of Canadian troops ready to go to the Front today.
That's the draft prepared by Captain Tietjens's unit.
Captain Thurston, do I have the trains or do I not? You have the trains, sir, and the co-operation of the French railway, going east to the Front, certainly.
I want these troops on their way to Flanders before London can blink! Oui, mon general.
Champagne at two o'clock! Which train, Madam? Oh, I don't know.
Dover, I expect.
Sylvia! Potty! What are you doing here? King's Messenger! King's Messenger? Yes.
Glorified postman, really, but frightfully important! Locked carriages, private cabins, saluted through the gate.
Oh! Where are you off to? Where are you? This way, sir.
Gosh, I've missed you, Sylvia.
MARCHING BAND PLAYS Thank you.
Captain.
Good day to you, gentlemen.
Everyone got a glass? Splendid.
PHONE RINGS Well, then, it's been our pleasure to fit out you and your men for the task ahead.
Somebody deal with that telephone.
It's a great task, and thanks to Captain Tietjens and his unit, you Canadians go to the front in good order.
You will be relieving soldiers who've been in the trenches for many weeks.
Believe me, 3,000 fresh troops under keen, young officers is just what the Hun doesn't want to face in our part of the line.
Discipline and training will keep you alive.
Remember it.
I'll be at the railhead to see you off.
Form-up at 2000, air raids permitting.
That's in the event of there being no further orders.
Thank you! Captain Tietjens, come with me! The draft has been countermanded.
I'll find out what's going on, but you'd better be ready to get the men back under canvas tonight.
Yes, sir.
May I ask? No, you may not.
MARCHING BAND PLAYS I can't tell you where overseas these new orders will be taking you, but, believe me, the war where you're going is every bit as important as the war in Flanders and you WILL get your chance at the Hun.
PHONE RINGS I dare say you're disappointed.
Stop that telephone.
But I know that you Canadians will enjoy the challenge and some rather warmer weather.
That's, er, a clue for you.
You will form your men up at 1700 hours for the march to the railhead.
We'll try to send you off by 1900, before the expected air raid.
That's all, gentlemen.
Good luck! It was Major Perowne, sir, calling for a driver.
He's at the station.
Good.
And And he's got Mrs Tietjens with him.
WHISPERS: I will break you for this.
I will smash you.
General! How lovely! We've all been missing you.
Tietjens.
May I ask a small favour for my orderly? His mother's come from Montreal to say goodbye to him.
A pass to leave the camp? If he misses the draft, you'll get me shot.
She's lost two sons already.
He could see her and still be back in time for the draft.
EXPLOSIONS AND SCREAMS If I could scream louder than the bombs, that would fix it, then I'd be all right.
McKechnie, control yourself! She sold it to some bugger called Evans.
If I thought it was William Evans of Castell Coch, I'd desert.
Don't talk that way, Morgan! You'll get your leave soon.
Midnight before we can march them out.
It's not right to keep men hanging about.
They don't like it.
For heaven's sake, can't you set an example?! Lost the fuckers! Not so much swear words, 0-5 Thomas.
Now that it's gone quiet, sir, we could send one of the runners to the sergeant-cook, tell him we're going to indent for the draft's suppers.
We can send the other one with the 128s to the quarter.
Send the runner to Depot and say that if candles are not provided for my orderly room by return of bearer, I, Captain Tietjens, commanding Number XVI Casual Battalion, will bring the whole matter of supplies before Base HQ tonight.
Come on, you two, 0-9 Morgan to the cookhouse at the double.
Yes, Sarge.
Move yourselves! What's it all about? That's what I want to know! You're no sort of soldier! They say up at HQ that your wife's got hold of your friend, the general.
I know all about you.
You are very much mistaken if you think the general a friend of mine.
I haven't a friend in the world.
Sergeant-Major, make sure the Canadian troops don't leave their dug-outs till the All Clear! HE PANTS AND WHIMPERS Look, are you mad? Stark staring? If you let yourself go, you'll go further than you wish.
CANNONS FIRE They must imagine that they've found the Hun again.
I must say, you look divine in your uniform.
Enchante, Madam.
I knew le brave Capitaine and his wife in London before the war, and didn't we see each other somewhere in France in 1912? Here in Rouen, Madame.
Extraordinaire! Does Christopher know I'm here? No.
As soon as his draft leaves for the station, he'll have a few hours to come to the hotel.
Failing that, all my officers are under orders to attend my regular entente cordiale party tomorrow.
Why can't I see him now? You may have noticed there's an air raid.
Isn't that normal where the war is? The Captain's on duty and can't leave the camp.
I've booked you the room next to his.
There's a connecting door.
If Christopher is billeted at the hotel, why doesn't he sleep there? He bunks down in the hut lines.
We're working under difficult circumstances.
Are we? EXPLOSIONS AND SCREAMS Don't think I'm afraid of a bit of shrapnel.
They ought to let my orderly room have tin hats.
Headquarters are full of Huns doing the Huns' work.
Do you believe that tripe? It's the English doing it.
NEARBY EXPLOSION HE PANTS Nearly got me, surely to goodness, but I did run, I did run! All right, Thomas.
You can go into shelter with the Colonial troops, if you like.
No, I'll wait for my mate, 0-9 Morgan, Captain, sir.
I was in for the Foreign Office before all this began.
I suppose you speak seven languages.
Five.
And Latin and Greek, of course.
AEROPLANE APPROACHES Here it comes.
EXPLOSION Here's another bloomin' casualty.
0-9 Morgan? Oh, poor fucking 0-9 Morgan! Surely to goodness, I didn't even recognise him! Get out from under him, blast! This ain't your job, sir.
You'll get all sticky.
Bugler, call two sanitary lance-corporals and four men! Thomas.
0-9 Morgan was your mate? He was a good pal.
Poor old bugger.
But you would not like, surely to goodness, to go to mess with your shoes all bloody.
If I'd given him leave, he would not be dead now.
No, surely he would not.
But it is all one.
Your honour is a good captain.
I know why Christopher doesn't sleep at the hotel.
He's got his mistress in Rouen, with the child.
How old is that child now? Five? No.
Of course not.
I know nothing about If you're talking about Miss Wannop, I'm not prepared to Even if his treatment of you has been Yes, Miss Wannop, Christopher's little suffragette.
SHE LAUGHS I've nothing against them being pro-German, I have German friends myself.
I say, steady on.
Yes, stop doingwhat does your mother call it? Shower-baths.
Is Sylvia pulling the strings of the shower-bath? I say, I say, they've got the vote, though.
Saw it in the Sketch.
Will you vote, Mrs Tietjens? I am not going to the hotel until I have seen Christopher with my own eyes.
There's a note from your foul General.
What does it say? "For God's sake.
Can't you control your woman?" Well, it didn't say it was private.
"You are more trouble to me than all the rest of my command put together.
" Give me the rhyme-words for a sonnet.
That's the scheme of it.
I know what a damn sonnet is.
What's your game? Give me 14 end-rhymes of a sonnet and I'll write a sonnet.
In two and a half minutes.
If you do, I'll translate it into Latin hexameters in under three minutes.
Get on with it then! A, B, B, A.
A, B Yes, what is it?! Good God, who are you? Hotchkiss.
They said to find you.
Are you Captain Tietjens? Don't you know how to address an officer? Oh, yes, sorry.
Sir! How long have you been in the army? Two weeks.
There you are.
Two and a half minutes from now.
I have to go to Division horse line, and I seem to have been put in charge of taking your soldiers to some place called Bailleul Er, sir.
I shall endeavour to be, er swift.
There's pink-eye running rife in all the service horses.
I've made a study of it.
I was sent for by the War Office.
I suppose Lord Beichen knew about me from my publications.
I'm a professor of equine studies.
Well, you're a stout fellow.
You should talk to Colonel Johnson.
You'll find him in 16 IBD Mess.
He'll be interested to meet you.
He's got a Hun horse captured on the Marne.
I ride Schomburg, myself.
Well, if you say so.
Many thanks.
Two minutes and 11 seconds.
I'm not starting till I've checked it's a sonnet.
GSO 2, sir.
You understand I've not read it.
I'll turn it into Latin in the time stipulated when I'm free.
KNOCK ON DOOR The Canadian draft has not left yet! We shall be strafed to hell.
We had to wangle everything, sir.
Desert boots, malaria powders, and then unwangle everything in a hurry when it was changed back to Bailleul.
It makes you wonder who's in charge, sir.
Ah, I see you're there, McKechnie.
Feeling well? Feeling fit? Look here, can you spare me 10 or 20 minutes? It's not exactly a service matter.
You have to come down to the gate.
I hate to keep a woman waiting.
You mean, your? As it happens, I was spotted at the station and now my French lady-friend thinks I've got an English mistress.
Come on! Are you dragging me there to deal with your absurd love-life? Mine? It's yours! The poor woman is in a dreadful state of anxiety about you.
You haven't written to her once, she says.
You can't mean Miss Wannop? Do you swear it? Cross my heart, Miss.
I saw the captain with my own eyes this very morning, Miss! I've been dreadfully worried about him.
You're welcome to wait in the guardroom, Miss.
No, it's perfectly all right.
I don't want to disturb Captain Tietjens when he's on duty, so long as he's all right.
You've all been absolutely sweet.
Oh, God! Sylvia! Dammit! She's taken the car! FAINT SOUND OF MARCHING 'Battalion, halt!' KNOCKS AT DOOR Sylvia! Sylvia! Dash it! BUGLE PLAYS SOUND OF MARCHING The draft's come back! Oh, for the love of God! By the way, did you give a pass to a Canadian? Why? He missed the curfew and the Redcaps nabbed him.
A few minutes before the curfew, you witnessed this prisoner saying goodbye to his mother, and the prisoner called you a damn brute for no reason, least of all because you made some discourteous comment about the old lady, is that right? Yes, sir! Then, having engaged the prisoner in conversation, by no means calling him "a blankety-blank colonial conscript", you discovered it was 11:02, so very properly charged him with being off-base and "conduct prejudicial".
Sir! Mark the charge sheet as "case explained".
Dismiss! Sir! I am a hair's breadth from recommending a court of inquiry into your conduct.
If there is any, ANY repetition, by God, you will regret it.
Witnesses dismiss! Provost-Marshall won't like it, sir.
General O'Hara loves his police like his own ewe-lambs.
The French railwaymen going on strike was a bit of luck for that Canadian lad, though, and lucky for me, too! They heard a rumour the draft was for overseas.
If anyone needs me I'm going to ride Schomburg to the Hotel de la Poste to take my wife to the General Campion's tea party for the locals.
What the hell is the Colonel's horse doing in horse standings? Don't you know Schomburg by now? Yes, sir.
The 'oss has been put in 'oss-standings by orders of Lieutenant Hotchkiss.
Did you tell him that it was my orders that Schomburg be kept warm in the stables of the farm behind XVI IBD? The lieutenant says 'osses have to be hardened, sir.
He also says how any departure from his orders would be visited by the extreme displeasure of Lord Beicham, KCVO, etc.
Well, listen carefully.
I am going to ride Schomberg over to the Hotel de la Poste, so saddle him up and meet me there, where you will take him back to the farm stables.
Make sure the windows are closed and stop up any chinks.
Give him oatmeal and water, hot as he can take it.
Finally, if Lieutenant Hotchkiss makes any comments, refer him to me.
Yes, sir.
How can you forget? It's the very place where you left me and ruined my life! So fair's fair.
Will you leave your door unlocked tonight? There's Christopher! I can see him in the glass.
He's seen me, too.
Good God, what are we going to do? What'll HE do? He'll smash me to pieces! He wouldn't do anything to you.
A decent man doesn't hit girls.
Damn his chivalry! So as not to embarrass me, he'll leave it to me.
Pardon.
I did not see madame.
Dites a ce monsieur que je suis occupee.
He looks ill.
What's he doing? Giving me the social backing he thinks it's his duty as my husband to give.
He's Jesus Christ calling on the woman taken in adultery.
By all the saints, I'll make that wooden face wince yet.
I'll bring him to heel.
He's going upstairs.
He's probably gone to wreck your bedroom.
SHE SCOFFS It's no use trying to awaken sentimental memories in me.
Does Christopher have a girl in this town? No, he's too much of a stick.
He never even goes to Madame Suzette's.
Now, look here, will you let me come to your room tonight or not? SHE LAUGHS What's your game? Hell and hounds, you can't have come here for HIM! What's your game? I'm going to tidy up before the General's tea party.
Wait for me.
I won't look like I can't find a man to escort me.
Campion will send me to the trenches if it looks like that.
Do you mean you wouldn't die for me, Potty? Hang it all, what a cruel fiend you are.
I'm a woman desperately trying to get her husband back.
If Christopher would throw his handkerchief to me, I would follow him round the world in my shift.
No, you wouldn't.
You're just wanting to make him squeal.
For that I'll leave my door unlocked, and be damned to you.
I don't say you'll get anything, or like what you get, but it's up to you.
Colonel, may I introduce you to Monsieur Dupree, Regional Manager of the railway.
Railways? Oh dear, oh dear.
What's going on with you chaps? Look! Hating the Hun has to come first, otherwise what's the giddy limit? IN FRENCH: Well, why do you treat her so damnably? Sir, I don't have to discuss my private life.
.
I mean, for heaven's sake, Sylvia is the finest, the cleanest My dear! Come to do your bit for the Grand Alliance? You've already seen each other.
Yes, I made time to stop off at the hotel, sir.
Good.
Sir, if I may trouble you CONVERSATION INAUDIBLE Well, I suppose I should thank you for being clear.
I don't understand you.
You didn't come back to the hotel to sleep.
You prefer all the fun of camping out with your Boy Scouts, do you? Or did you spend the night with your mistress in her little nest in this frightful town? I hardly got any sleep anywhere.
There was a railway strike.
I was landed with 3,000 men I'd despatched to the front lines three hours earlier.
The French way of telling us that I'll scream if you don't stop.
Sorry.
I've forgotten how .
.
how to be at peace, I suppose.
How is Michael? He hasn't written to me.
He hardly knows you.
I came to settle things between us.
Will you come to the hotel tonight? See? Still sealed.
I'll send a driver for you in the morning, 0800.
Where am I going? You're going to the station and think yourself lucky.
I will.
You've been sweet.
Hurry up, girls! The bell's about to go.
Come on.
Come on, hurry up.
So does the new law mean you'll vote in the next election, Miss? If I'm old enough.
I won't be 30 foryears! Do you know Mrs Pankhurst, Miss? She's your heroine, isn't she, Miss? Well, I don't know, Annie.
I'm certainly not hers.
She said the other day that pacifism was a disease.
You wouldn't be a pacifist if your sweetheart was in the war, would you, Miss? More than ever, of course.
Hurry up, the bell will go in a minute.
Have you got a sweetheart in the war, Miss? I SHE SHRIEK THE GIRLS LAUGH MUSIC PLAYS Captain Tietjens.
I got your report on the Canadian prisoner.
I must say, marking "case explained" on a charge sheet I signed myself is pretty strong.
If you would see fit, sir, to instruct your men not to call Colonial troops "damned conscripts" They are damned conscripts! No, sir, not one of them.
Voluntarily enlisted.
Why, you insolent! You haven't heard the last of it! Sir! Christopher.
You look half dead.
Not far off it.
Have you had dinner? Mmm.
I vamped an old fool of a general over a cutlet.
Then the air raid started and he went off to order everybody about.
General O'Hara.
Just had the pleasure.
What have you been doing? Since I saw you? Let me think.
Well, I have inspected 2,934 toothbrushes, most of which were clean, as the soldiers use their button-brushes for their teeth, to keep their toothbrushes clean for inspections.
So you betrayed me with a battalion! You want a brandy? I'll ring down.
Rum and hot water, if you would.
Of course.
Would you like to bathe? I think I would, you know.
EXPLOSIONS AND GUNFIRE It's sheer cheek putting a gun where people of quality might be wishing to sleep or converse.
They're not answering.
I'll try again.
I've brought a few letters for you.
Two from Mrs Wannop, who doesn't realise her daughter is your mistress, and one from your brother, Mark, which begins, "Your bitch of a wife came to see me".
You should read that first, it's what I came to see you about.
Thank you.
The War Office brilliantly sent it on to the flat.
I've always understood that your idea of a marriage is that a husband and wife should be able to read each others' letters.
Of course.
I'll go EXPLOSIONS AND GUNFIRE KNOCK AT DOOR Monsieur.
Thank you.
What is it? The draft has been brought forward.
I have to be at the camp by 4:30.
It's ridiculous that a man of your ability should be at the beck and call of a lot of gaga old fools like the one downstairs.
You shouldn't be here at all.
You're not fit.
Nobody posted to a Base Depot is fit.
That's why we're here.
I'm sorry you felt you had to come all this way to settle something I'd be perfectly happy for you to have settled for yourself.
Groby is at your disposal if you want to live there with Michael, and, of course, with sufficient income to keep it up.
That means you don't intend to live there yourself.
Or you intend to get killed.
I should warn you that if you do get killed, I shall cut down the cedar.
It darkens the drawing room and the rooms above.
At last I changed the expression on your face.
I haven't the slightest intention of getting killed.
But it's not really up to me.
If I were to be sent back to my battalion Your brother refers to me as "that whore".
I haven't had a man, Christopher, for five years and more.
Not one.
I haven't let myself be kissed, or touched.
Not once, not since Perowne.
Potty Perowne! Can you see how I must have been feeling, to go off with a fool like Potty? I was not in my senses.
I broke under your forbearance, your permanent well-mannered forgiveness for my doing the dirty on you when I married you, not knowing Still don't know whether my child was yours or Gerald Drake's.
You forgavewithout mercy.
To scream blue murder and throw me out would have been a kindness compared to five years under your roof, banished from your comfort.
SHE SCOFFS Look what you've brought me to.
Throwing myself at you in my whore's trousseau! My heat must have put a spell on all the sentries and ticket-inspectors .
.
the musk of five years' wanting a man.
They must have smelled it.
Well .
.
don't bother now.
I've changed my mind SHE LAUGHS What's going on? Get into bed.
I didn't see who it was.
Potty, I expect.
I'd forgotten about him! Where is the hussy? This is my wife's room.
I must ask you to leave this instant.
We'll see whether she's your wife or not! Leave this room! You assaulted an officer.
Are you drunk? By God, I'll have you for that! If you do not take General O'Hara away, I will order you to arrest him for drunkenness.
Consider yourself under arrest! Return to your quarters! SHE LAUGHS Well! What a lark! I am under arrest.
Why must you? Everywhere you go.
.
Oh, Potty asked for it.
I'm sure he did.
I asked for it, too.
Sylvia, I I'm so sorry.
SIREN WAILS THE BAND PLAYS 'He said they could have as much coal as they wanted 'at 1914 pithead prices.
' I notice, Captain Tietjens, that you have no fire-extinguishers on your unit.
You're aware of the disastrous consequences that would follow a conflagration? Yes, sir.
I was informed by Ordnance that there is no provision for fire-extinguishers for Dominion troops under an Imperial officer.
So, I applied, as advised, to a civilian firm I didn't ask for your memoirs.
Make a note, Levin.
Go and get your belt.
You can go round your cookhouses with me in a quarter of an hour.
You can tell your sergeant-cook.
You are aware, sir, that I am under arrest? I gave you an order to perform a duty! Sir! You're doing splendidly.
You understand, you're released from arrest if you're given an order to perform a duty.
Of course I understand.
It's the last thing I want! You can't refuse! A court martial would be He'd be He thinks the world of What did Perowne say? Perowne told General O'Hara Oh, I couldn't possibly! He told O'Hara he went to Mrs Tietjens's room at her invitation? It's impossible to believe anything against No, it's true.
He did.
But my wife was after fun, not adultery.
What has she told the General? The general has not seen Mrs Tietjens.
He couldn't trust himself.
He said she'd twist him round her little finger.
He's learning.
He refused to let Perowne speak.
He said Perowne could choose between going up the line and being broke by his regiment.
My God.
He believes so absolutely in Mrs Tietjens.
It's broken the General's heart.
Something he heard from the Capitaine, the liaison officer You! Put that down and tell Sergeant Case to report to my quarters at the double.
Yes, sir.
I'm supposed to ask you, was O'Hara drunk? The General is anxious for your opinion.
He and O'Hara graduated together from Sandhurst.
Then, O'Hara was not drunk.
Campion will be immensely gratified.
As Provost-Marshal, he had the right to enter my room.
I pushed him out, which is an assault on a senior officer.
I'd be happy to plead guilty to that.
And to being drunk, of course.
An officer doesn't strike generals sober.
Your mania for taking the blows I'd rather be broken than have this hell raked up.
Case! General Campion will be going round the cook-house in 15 minutes.
Right, sir! Don't serve out white clothing.
The General likes to see them in white.
He won't know white clothing has been countermanded, sir.
If you do that, one of your cooks will tuck a dirty piece of clothing into a locker where the General will find it.
Yes, sir, there's always one piece of clothing left in a locker for GOCIC's inspection and General Campion will always find it.
I've seen him do it three times.
This time, the man it belongs to goes for a court martial.
Sir! Sit down.
Captain Tietjens, I would be glad of your careful attention.
This afternoon, you will receive a movement order.
You are not to regard it as a disgrace.
It is a promotion.
I am requesting General Perry to give you the appointment of second-in-command of the VIth Battalion of his regiment.
What's your medical category? Permanent base, sir.
My chest is rotten.
I should forget that if I were you.
The second-in-command of a battalion has nothing to do but sit about in armchairs waiting for the colonel to be killed.
If you say so, sir.
Who is your sergeant-cook? Sergeant Case, sir.
Sergeant Case? He was in the Drums when we were in Delhi.
He ought to be at least a Quartermaster now, but there was a woman he called his "sister".
He still sends money to his "sister", sir.
He went absent over her when he was a Colour-Sergeant.
Reduced to the ranks.
20 years ago, that must be.
God help you, Chrissie, there's nothing else I can do.
I can't put you on my staff.
You crossed General O'Hara in some row over his redcaps, never mind threatening him with arrest, so now you've a black spot against your name as regards access to Intelligence.
Next, dammit, the commander of the 9th French army is an intimate friend of mine, but in the face of your confidential report from your time in French liaison, that's blocked.
If you examine the detail of the report, sir, you will see the unfavourable inclusion is initialled by an Intelligence Officer, Major Drake, whodoesn't like me.
What difference does that make? Not many officers DO like you.
Are you aware that there's one hell of a strafe put in against you by a RASC Second-Lieutenant called Hotchkiss? That was about Schomburg, sir.
I'd rather die than subject any horse for which I'm responsible to the damnable theories of Lieutenant Hotchkiss! It looks as if you WILL die on that account.
There was a request from your brother, Mark, through Room G14-R of the War Office that you be given command of the horse lines of the 19th Division, but the 19th Division's attached to Fourth Army now, and it's Fourth Army horses that Hotchkiss is to play with.
How can I send you there to be under his orders? Yes, sir.
You cannot.
I can send you home, in disgrace, or I can send you to your battalion.
You're finished here.
I cannot have men commanded by an officer with a private life as incomprehensible and embarrassing as yours.
Yes, sir.
I took that woman to be a saint! I swear she IS a saint! There is no accusation against Mrs Tietjens, sir! By God, there is! You let me think I remember every word of our conversation in Rye, letting me think Sylvia had gone abroad to look after her mother.
Sylvia and Perowne were seen together by Capitaine Thurston at the Hotel de la Poste in 1912! Can you beat it? Were they? Well, what is one to do when a woman is unfaithful? Sir.
Divorce the harlot! Or live with her, like a man! What sort of a fellow wouldn't see that? But there isor used to be .
.
among families of position .
.
a certain Well? Call it, parade! Was there? Well, there are no more parades for that regiment.
It held out to the last man, but you were him.
MARCHING BAND STRIKES UP Open that, will you, my man? Yes, sir.
I hope you had a good visit, Miss.
Very good, thank you.
Did the draft get off, do you know? It did, Miss.
Captain Tietjens' draft, at five o'clock.
You know the army, then, Miss? The lingo? I should say so! I'm the Captain's lady.
What do you think it's like, when you know this is it? Death! You are surely not in love with Christopher? You mustn't be.
Every word Christopher Tietjens and I ever said to each other was a declaration of love.
GUNFIRE You feel no pain.
But if my husband thinks he can throw me over for that scrub-faced ladies' champion of the regular bowel movement He's the only man who perhaps wouldn't.
If the woman that's come between you and Sylvia is our little suffragette I want you to swear on your St Anthony that you won't leave me.
I'll do no such thing.
Will you be my mistress tonight? Yes! My husband is going out to war tomorrow.
But I'd keep off the grass.
You cannot conceive of the explosives the armies throw at each other.
Had the stuffing knocked out of me.
GUNSHO I won't take his money.
You usually forgive a fellow who shoots himself.
I don't.
Couldn't you bring yourself to seduce that little kitchen maid? There'd have been a chance for us.
What I stand for is gone.
And yet I may not say this is an accursed war.
This programme contains some strong language.
This programme contains some scenes which some viewers may find upsetting Edward's command is at Rouen, or "somewhere in France", we're supposed to say.
Bertram tells me you lost a window during the last raid? Are you going to the Sackvilles'? I thought so.
.
.
it's also to tell the French, best shut up about the single command.
No, no votes for you I'm afraid.
It's going to be for married women over 30.
It's a serious problem on the whole front.
Horses decimated by pink-eye.
You should put that fellow, Hotchkiss, in charge of the horse lines.
The warhorse needs to be hardened.
Mollycoddling will ruin him.
Hotchkiss is the man you need in France.
Hotchkiss? You'll find him in Horse World, advertising embrocation.
"Get hold of Hotchkiss!" The Comet will back you.
The Comet's first edition, My Lord.
General, Sylvia wants a pass to the Infantry Base Depot in Rouen.
She wants to see her husband.
Strictly out of bounds to wives, I'm afraid, Mrs Tietjens.
Hmm, and what about mistresses? Here you are, Bertram.
Might as well spoil your dinner as your breakfast! The Comet exposes the scandal of our out-of-touch command in Flanders.
I'm sure it does, but it's your own fault for building up General Perry in the first place.
Wait until the German spring offensive gives him a bloody nose, Beichen, and then we can bring him home.
Is that why you're keeping the Commander-in-Chief short of troops, Bertram? If we gave Perry the men, he'd lose half of them in a week.
If I had my way, we'd let the French go to blazes.
Quite.
There won't always be a European war, but there'll always be an Empire.
What about Salonika, Bertram? Salonika? Nathan, isn't that where your people originally Not originally, my dear! THEY ALL LAUGH POLITELY I say, it would be nice if we could forget the war just for five minutes TRUMPETS AND CANNON FIRE I give up! Move to adjourn.
Come on, my dear.
GUNFIRE AND EXPLOSION NEARBY EXPLOSION Mother! I'm just finishing.
It'll be the finish of you if you don't EXPLOSION Mother! I'm writing to Christopher.
At least HE isn't in the casualty lists.
I always look.
Of course he's not.
He's not in the fighting.
His brother got him into a job looking after horses! EXPLOSIONS CONTINUE TRUMPETS PLAY There's the all-clear.
Sylvia, I need you to rally round.
Johnny's behaving appallingly.
Oh, what, you mean about your divertissement? It's not a divertissement.
I'm bolting! Oh, Bobbie! You mean you and? But he's It's not his fault he's a Jew.
Fat, I was going to say.
It's his fault he's fat.
He wants to marry me.
So I need you to get Johnny over the hump.
No, just take him out and about.
He's a good old sausage.
I want to do my best for him.
That's all very well, but I've a mind to visit Christopher in France.
I've written to General Campion.
I wish Tietjens would write to his damned wife, or, at any rate, stop her from writing to me.
It's not my job to reassure the wives of officers their husbands are still alive, damn it.
It's bad enough having to write to them when they're not.
There's a movement order come in for Captain Tietjens, sir, from the War Office, Room G14-R.
It was mis-routed and has only now caught up, I'm afraid.
Movement? To where? Divisional horse transport.
Well, you can tell Room G14-R, whoever the hell they are, that I'm not parting with Captain Tietjens! He's the only officer on the base who can get his draft into marching order on time.
Not that he isn't a confounded nuisance.
I could give them Captain McKechnie when he's back from divorce leave.
He's sane enough for horses, isn't he? Captain McKechnie HAS returned from leave, sir, but he omitted to get divorced.
How DARE he not get divorced! He told me his wife was co-habiting with anEgyptian, wasn't it? Some sort of dago, anyway.
No, sir, an EGYPTOLOGIST.
They've agreed to share her.
That dirty dog! I'll strip him of his commission! A damn fine officer when he isn't going mad, and a Vice Chancellor's Latin prize man, as well.
Another brilliant fellow, like Tietjens.
That's a thought.
They can be brilliant together.
BELL RINGS Does "subter" take the accusative or the ablative? Both.
Accusative when it's "under" as a motion, and ablative when it's "under" as a state.
" pictured at Lady Hazlitt's Ball "with the Honourable Johnnie Pelham" ".
.
Mrs Christopher Tietjens, "whose husband is in hospital at the Front"! Sylvia must have told them that herself.
HE SCOFFS The paper wouldn't put the knife into her.
Women like Sylvia are the jam on their bread and butter.
But why would she do that? To let him know she's on the warpath.
Well, don't worry about Christopher, it was only pneumonia, and not at the Front.
He's 100 miles from the nearest German trench.
His job is kitting out fresh troops on their way to the fighting.
Nothing to worry about but air raids.
But are they dropping bombs on him? My dear, they're dropping bombs on you, and yet here you are.
But I thought Christopher was looking after horses somewhere safe.
That's the War Office for you.
But an Infantry Base Depot is a soft posting, so long as you're not sent back to your battalion.
Anything but the trenches! THEY ROAR AND SCREAM Move it, move it, move it! Shoulderarms! Presentarms! Shoulderarms! Quickmarch! Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right Hmm.
General Campion is attaching Captain McKechnie to my unit for rations and discipline.
What's that about? I can't say as I can say, sir.
"A Vice-Chancellor's Latin prize man".
Well, I'm sure that will come in useful(!) fire-extinguishers.
We indented the Royal Engineers.
Sir.
The Royal Engineers said, as per army directive 1BDR 3417, for fire-extinguishers, we should apply to Ordnance.
Ordnance said there's no provision for them for Canadian units passing through an Infantry Base Depot, and that the proper course would be to obtain them from a civilian firm and charge them against barrack damages.
Yes, sir.
I have here a letter from the leading British manufacturer of fire-extinguishers, telling me that they have been forbidden by the War Office to sell fire-extinguishers to anyone but to the War Office direct.
Thank God we have a navy.
Yes, sir.
Cardiff Police Office 0-9 Morgan is outside, sir.
Application for compassionate leave.
His wife has sold their laundry business to someone, name of Evans.
Now she can't get the money.
True in as far as it goes.
The police say his wife is now living with Mr Evans, a prize-fighter, and we should keep 0-9 Morgan here if we know what's good for him.
In he comes.
Sir.
0-9 Morgan, present yourself to the officer, at the double! Well now, 0-9 Morgan .
.
because there are things I have to discuss with Christopher, and what is the point in being permanent secretary of the Department of Transport if you can't transport me - I put it like that - between London and Rouen? This is family business, Mark.
I have to go to the office.
SHE SIGHS As far as I'm concerned, Groby is Christopher's to do what he likes with.
So if you can produce his written authorisation, I have no objection to your living at Groby.
But, of course, if what you say is true, he might want to live at Groby with Miss Wannop.
Well, that's why I'm asking you now I'm afraid you overestimate my authority, which does not extend to France, and in any case, does not exceed General Campion's in matters that concern the army.
Thank you for coming to see me.
Utter nonsense! I'll buy a ticket at the station! See if they can stop me.
Never known a woman like her.
She says she's going to come and see for herself! On no account On NO account is Mrs Tietjens to be allowed within 50 miles of Rouen.
Understood? Inform the War Office, the Provost Marshal, the port authorities and the rail authorities.
I will not have skirts around my HQ! More importantly, General Perry is now on the telephone twice a day.
He has troops who were due to be relieved weeks ago, and I have troops waiting for Ordnance to supply them with eyebrow tweezers while our political masters keep changing their minds whether to send them up the line or ship them to Salonika or Mesopotamia or Timbuktu! But I have one draft of Canadian troops ready to go to the Front today.
That's the draft prepared by Captain Tietjens's unit.
Captain Thurston, do I have the trains or do I not? You have the trains, sir, and the co-operation of the French railway, going east to the Front, certainly.
I want these troops on their way to Flanders before London can blink! Oui, mon general.
Champagne at two o'clock! Which train, Madam? Oh, I don't know.
Dover, I expect.
Sylvia! Potty! What are you doing here? King's Messenger! King's Messenger? Yes.
Glorified postman, really, but frightfully important! Locked carriages, private cabins, saluted through the gate.
Oh! Where are you off to? Where are you? This way, sir.
Gosh, I've missed you, Sylvia.
MARCHING BAND PLAYS Thank you.
Captain.
Good day to you, gentlemen.
Everyone got a glass? Splendid.
PHONE RINGS Well, then, it's been our pleasure to fit out you and your men for the task ahead.
Somebody deal with that telephone.
It's a great task, and thanks to Captain Tietjens and his unit, you Canadians go to the front in good order.
You will be relieving soldiers who've been in the trenches for many weeks.
Believe me, 3,000 fresh troops under keen, young officers is just what the Hun doesn't want to face in our part of the line.
Discipline and training will keep you alive.
Remember it.
I'll be at the railhead to see you off.
Form-up at 2000, air raids permitting.
That's in the event of there being no further orders.
Thank you! Captain Tietjens, come with me! The draft has been countermanded.
I'll find out what's going on, but you'd better be ready to get the men back under canvas tonight.
Yes, sir.
May I ask? No, you may not.
MARCHING BAND PLAYS I can't tell you where overseas these new orders will be taking you, but, believe me, the war where you're going is every bit as important as the war in Flanders and you WILL get your chance at the Hun.
PHONE RINGS I dare say you're disappointed.
Stop that telephone.
But I know that you Canadians will enjoy the challenge and some rather warmer weather.
That's, er, a clue for you.
You will form your men up at 1700 hours for the march to the railhead.
We'll try to send you off by 1900, before the expected air raid.
That's all, gentlemen.
Good luck! It was Major Perowne, sir, calling for a driver.
He's at the station.
Good.
And And he's got Mrs Tietjens with him.
WHISPERS: I will break you for this.
I will smash you.
General! How lovely! We've all been missing you.
Tietjens.
May I ask a small favour for my orderly? His mother's come from Montreal to say goodbye to him.
A pass to leave the camp? If he misses the draft, you'll get me shot.
She's lost two sons already.
He could see her and still be back in time for the draft.
EXPLOSIONS AND SCREAMS If I could scream louder than the bombs, that would fix it, then I'd be all right.
McKechnie, control yourself! She sold it to some bugger called Evans.
If I thought it was William Evans of Castell Coch, I'd desert.
Don't talk that way, Morgan! You'll get your leave soon.
Midnight before we can march them out.
It's not right to keep men hanging about.
They don't like it.
For heaven's sake, can't you set an example?! Lost the fuckers! Not so much swear words, 0-5 Thomas.
Now that it's gone quiet, sir, we could send one of the runners to the sergeant-cook, tell him we're going to indent for the draft's suppers.
We can send the other one with the 128s to the quarter.
Send the runner to Depot and say that if candles are not provided for my orderly room by return of bearer, I, Captain Tietjens, commanding Number XVI Casual Battalion, will bring the whole matter of supplies before Base HQ tonight.
Come on, you two, 0-9 Morgan to the cookhouse at the double.
Yes, Sarge.
Move yourselves! What's it all about? That's what I want to know! You're no sort of soldier! They say up at HQ that your wife's got hold of your friend, the general.
I know all about you.
You are very much mistaken if you think the general a friend of mine.
I haven't a friend in the world.
Sergeant-Major, make sure the Canadian troops don't leave their dug-outs till the All Clear! HE PANTS AND WHIMPERS Look, are you mad? Stark staring? If you let yourself go, you'll go further than you wish.
CANNONS FIRE They must imagine that they've found the Hun again.
I must say, you look divine in your uniform.
Enchante, Madam.
I knew le brave Capitaine and his wife in London before the war, and didn't we see each other somewhere in France in 1912? Here in Rouen, Madame.
Extraordinaire! Does Christopher know I'm here? No.
As soon as his draft leaves for the station, he'll have a few hours to come to the hotel.
Failing that, all my officers are under orders to attend my regular entente cordiale party tomorrow.
Why can't I see him now? You may have noticed there's an air raid.
Isn't that normal where the war is? The Captain's on duty and can't leave the camp.
I've booked you the room next to his.
There's a connecting door.
If Christopher is billeted at the hotel, why doesn't he sleep there? He bunks down in the hut lines.
We're working under difficult circumstances.
Are we? EXPLOSIONS AND SCREAMS Don't think I'm afraid of a bit of shrapnel.
They ought to let my orderly room have tin hats.
Headquarters are full of Huns doing the Huns' work.
Do you believe that tripe? It's the English doing it.
NEARBY EXPLOSION HE PANTS Nearly got me, surely to goodness, but I did run, I did run! All right, Thomas.
You can go into shelter with the Colonial troops, if you like.
No, I'll wait for my mate, 0-9 Morgan, Captain, sir.
I was in for the Foreign Office before all this began.
I suppose you speak seven languages.
Five.
And Latin and Greek, of course.
AEROPLANE APPROACHES Here it comes.
EXPLOSION Here's another bloomin' casualty.
0-9 Morgan? Oh, poor fucking 0-9 Morgan! Surely to goodness, I didn't even recognise him! Get out from under him, blast! This ain't your job, sir.
You'll get all sticky.
Bugler, call two sanitary lance-corporals and four men! Thomas.
0-9 Morgan was your mate? He was a good pal.
Poor old bugger.
But you would not like, surely to goodness, to go to mess with your shoes all bloody.
If I'd given him leave, he would not be dead now.
No, surely he would not.
But it is all one.
Your honour is a good captain.
I know why Christopher doesn't sleep at the hotel.
He's got his mistress in Rouen, with the child.
How old is that child now? Five? No.
Of course not.
I know nothing about If you're talking about Miss Wannop, I'm not prepared to Even if his treatment of you has been Yes, Miss Wannop, Christopher's little suffragette.
SHE LAUGHS I've nothing against them being pro-German, I have German friends myself.
I say, steady on.
Yes, stop doingwhat does your mother call it? Shower-baths.
Is Sylvia pulling the strings of the shower-bath? I say, I say, they've got the vote, though.
Saw it in the Sketch.
Will you vote, Mrs Tietjens? I am not going to the hotel until I have seen Christopher with my own eyes.
There's a note from your foul General.
What does it say? "For God's sake.
Can't you control your woman?" Well, it didn't say it was private.
"You are more trouble to me than all the rest of my command put together.
" Give me the rhyme-words for a sonnet.
That's the scheme of it.
I know what a damn sonnet is.
What's your game? Give me 14 end-rhymes of a sonnet and I'll write a sonnet.
In two and a half minutes.
If you do, I'll translate it into Latin hexameters in under three minutes.
Get on with it then! A, B, B, A.
A, B Yes, what is it?! Good God, who are you? Hotchkiss.
They said to find you.
Are you Captain Tietjens? Don't you know how to address an officer? Oh, yes, sorry.
Sir! How long have you been in the army? Two weeks.
There you are.
Two and a half minutes from now.
I have to go to Division horse line, and I seem to have been put in charge of taking your soldiers to some place called Bailleul Er, sir.
I shall endeavour to be, er swift.
There's pink-eye running rife in all the service horses.
I've made a study of it.
I was sent for by the War Office.
I suppose Lord Beichen knew about me from my publications.
I'm a professor of equine studies.
Well, you're a stout fellow.
You should talk to Colonel Johnson.
You'll find him in 16 IBD Mess.
He'll be interested to meet you.
He's got a Hun horse captured on the Marne.
I ride Schomburg, myself.
Well, if you say so.
Many thanks.
Two minutes and 11 seconds.
I'm not starting till I've checked it's a sonnet.
GSO 2, sir.
You understand I've not read it.
I'll turn it into Latin in the time stipulated when I'm free.
KNOCK ON DOOR The Canadian draft has not left yet! We shall be strafed to hell.
We had to wangle everything, sir.
Desert boots, malaria powders, and then unwangle everything in a hurry when it was changed back to Bailleul.
It makes you wonder who's in charge, sir.
Ah, I see you're there, McKechnie.
Feeling well? Feeling fit? Look here, can you spare me 10 or 20 minutes? It's not exactly a service matter.
You have to come down to the gate.
I hate to keep a woman waiting.
You mean, your? As it happens, I was spotted at the station and now my French lady-friend thinks I've got an English mistress.
Come on! Are you dragging me there to deal with your absurd love-life? Mine? It's yours! The poor woman is in a dreadful state of anxiety about you.
You haven't written to her once, she says.
You can't mean Miss Wannop? Do you swear it? Cross my heart, Miss.
I saw the captain with my own eyes this very morning, Miss! I've been dreadfully worried about him.
You're welcome to wait in the guardroom, Miss.
No, it's perfectly all right.
I don't want to disturb Captain Tietjens when he's on duty, so long as he's all right.
You've all been absolutely sweet.
Oh, God! Sylvia! Dammit! She's taken the car! FAINT SOUND OF MARCHING 'Battalion, halt!' KNOCKS AT DOOR Sylvia! Sylvia! Dash it! BUGLE PLAYS SOUND OF MARCHING The draft's come back! Oh, for the love of God! By the way, did you give a pass to a Canadian? Why? He missed the curfew and the Redcaps nabbed him.
A few minutes before the curfew, you witnessed this prisoner saying goodbye to his mother, and the prisoner called you a damn brute for no reason, least of all because you made some discourteous comment about the old lady, is that right? Yes, sir! Then, having engaged the prisoner in conversation, by no means calling him "a blankety-blank colonial conscript", you discovered it was 11:02, so very properly charged him with being off-base and "conduct prejudicial".
Sir! Mark the charge sheet as "case explained".
Dismiss! Sir! I am a hair's breadth from recommending a court of inquiry into your conduct.
If there is any, ANY repetition, by God, you will regret it.
Witnesses dismiss! Provost-Marshall won't like it, sir.
General O'Hara loves his police like his own ewe-lambs.
The French railwaymen going on strike was a bit of luck for that Canadian lad, though, and lucky for me, too! They heard a rumour the draft was for overseas.
If anyone needs me I'm going to ride Schomburg to the Hotel de la Poste to take my wife to the General Campion's tea party for the locals.
What the hell is the Colonel's horse doing in horse standings? Don't you know Schomburg by now? Yes, sir.
The 'oss has been put in 'oss-standings by orders of Lieutenant Hotchkiss.
Did you tell him that it was my orders that Schomburg be kept warm in the stables of the farm behind XVI IBD? The lieutenant says 'osses have to be hardened, sir.
He also says how any departure from his orders would be visited by the extreme displeasure of Lord Beicham, KCVO, etc.
Well, listen carefully.
I am going to ride Schomberg over to the Hotel de la Poste, so saddle him up and meet me there, where you will take him back to the farm stables.
Make sure the windows are closed and stop up any chinks.
Give him oatmeal and water, hot as he can take it.
Finally, if Lieutenant Hotchkiss makes any comments, refer him to me.
Yes, sir.
How can you forget? It's the very place where you left me and ruined my life! So fair's fair.
Will you leave your door unlocked tonight? There's Christopher! I can see him in the glass.
He's seen me, too.
Good God, what are we going to do? What'll HE do? He'll smash me to pieces! He wouldn't do anything to you.
A decent man doesn't hit girls.
Damn his chivalry! So as not to embarrass me, he'll leave it to me.
Pardon.
I did not see madame.
Dites a ce monsieur que je suis occupee.
He looks ill.
What's he doing? Giving me the social backing he thinks it's his duty as my husband to give.
He's Jesus Christ calling on the woman taken in adultery.
By all the saints, I'll make that wooden face wince yet.
I'll bring him to heel.
He's going upstairs.
He's probably gone to wreck your bedroom.
SHE SCOFFS It's no use trying to awaken sentimental memories in me.
Does Christopher have a girl in this town? No, he's too much of a stick.
He never even goes to Madame Suzette's.
Now, look here, will you let me come to your room tonight or not? SHE LAUGHS What's your game? Hell and hounds, you can't have come here for HIM! What's your game? I'm going to tidy up before the General's tea party.
Wait for me.
I won't look like I can't find a man to escort me.
Campion will send me to the trenches if it looks like that.
Do you mean you wouldn't die for me, Potty? Hang it all, what a cruel fiend you are.
I'm a woman desperately trying to get her husband back.
If Christopher would throw his handkerchief to me, I would follow him round the world in my shift.
No, you wouldn't.
You're just wanting to make him squeal.
For that I'll leave my door unlocked, and be damned to you.
I don't say you'll get anything, or like what you get, but it's up to you.
Colonel, may I introduce you to Monsieur Dupree, Regional Manager of the railway.
Railways? Oh dear, oh dear.
What's going on with you chaps? Look! Hating the Hun has to come first, otherwise what's the giddy limit? IN FRENCH: Well, why do you treat her so damnably? Sir, I don't have to discuss my private life.
.
I mean, for heaven's sake, Sylvia is the finest, the cleanest My dear! Come to do your bit for the Grand Alliance? You've already seen each other.
Yes, I made time to stop off at the hotel, sir.
Good.
Sir, if I may trouble you CONVERSATION INAUDIBLE Well, I suppose I should thank you for being clear.
I don't understand you.
You didn't come back to the hotel to sleep.
You prefer all the fun of camping out with your Boy Scouts, do you? Or did you spend the night with your mistress in her little nest in this frightful town? I hardly got any sleep anywhere.
There was a railway strike.
I was landed with 3,000 men I'd despatched to the front lines three hours earlier.
The French way of telling us that I'll scream if you don't stop.
Sorry.
I've forgotten how .
.
how to be at peace, I suppose.
How is Michael? He hasn't written to me.
He hardly knows you.
I came to settle things between us.
Will you come to the hotel tonight? See? Still sealed.
I'll send a driver for you in the morning, 0800.
Where am I going? You're going to the station and think yourself lucky.
I will.
You've been sweet.
Hurry up, girls! The bell's about to go.
Come on.
Come on, hurry up.
So does the new law mean you'll vote in the next election, Miss? If I'm old enough.
I won't be 30 foryears! Do you know Mrs Pankhurst, Miss? She's your heroine, isn't she, Miss? Well, I don't know, Annie.
I'm certainly not hers.
She said the other day that pacifism was a disease.
You wouldn't be a pacifist if your sweetheart was in the war, would you, Miss? More than ever, of course.
Hurry up, the bell will go in a minute.
Have you got a sweetheart in the war, Miss? I SHE SHRIEK THE GIRLS LAUGH MUSIC PLAYS Captain Tietjens.
I got your report on the Canadian prisoner.
I must say, marking "case explained" on a charge sheet I signed myself is pretty strong.
If you would see fit, sir, to instruct your men not to call Colonial troops "damned conscripts" They are damned conscripts! No, sir, not one of them.
Voluntarily enlisted.
Why, you insolent! You haven't heard the last of it! Sir! Christopher.
You look half dead.
Not far off it.
Have you had dinner? Mmm.
I vamped an old fool of a general over a cutlet.
Then the air raid started and he went off to order everybody about.
General O'Hara.
Just had the pleasure.
What have you been doing? Since I saw you? Let me think.
Well, I have inspected 2,934 toothbrushes, most of which were clean, as the soldiers use their button-brushes for their teeth, to keep their toothbrushes clean for inspections.
So you betrayed me with a battalion! You want a brandy? I'll ring down.
Rum and hot water, if you would.
Of course.
Would you like to bathe? I think I would, you know.
EXPLOSIONS AND GUNFIRE It's sheer cheek putting a gun where people of quality might be wishing to sleep or converse.
They're not answering.
I'll try again.
I've brought a few letters for you.
Two from Mrs Wannop, who doesn't realise her daughter is your mistress, and one from your brother, Mark, which begins, "Your bitch of a wife came to see me".
You should read that first, it's what I came to see you about.
Thank you.
The War Office brilliantly sent it on to the flat.
I've always understood that your idea of a marriage is that a husband and wife should be able to read each others' letters.
Of course.
I'll go EXPLOSIONS AND GUNFIRE KNOCK AT DOOR Monsieur.
Thank you.
What is it? The draft has been brought forward.
I have to be at the camp by 4:30.
It's ridiculous that a man of your ability should be at the beck and call of a lot of gaga old fools like the one downstairs.
You shouldn't be here at all.
You're not fit.
Nobody posted to a Base Depot is fit.
That's why we're here.
I'm sorry you felt you had to come all this way to settle something I'd be perfectly happy for you to have settled for yourself.
Groby is at your disposal if you want to live there with Michael, and, of course, with sufficient income to keep it up.
That means you don't intend to live there yourself.
Or you intend to get killed.
I should warn you that if you do get killed, I shall cut down the cedar.
It darkens the drawing room and the rooms above.
At last I changed the expression on your face.
I haven't the slightest intention of getting killed.
But it's not really up to me.
If I were to be sent back to my battalion Your brother refers to me as "that whore".
I haven't had a man, Christopher, for five years and more.
Not one.
I haven't let myself be kissed, or touched.
Not once, not since Perowne.
Potty Perowne! Can you see how I must have been feeling, to go off with a fool like Potty? I was not in my senses.
I broke under your forbearance, your permanent well-mannered forgiveness for my doing the dirty on you when I married you, not knowing Still don't know whether my child was yours or Gerald Drake's.
You forgavewithout mercy.
To scream blue murder and throw me out would have been a kindness compared to five years under your roof, banished from your comfort.
SHE SCOFFS Look what you've brought me to.
Throwing myself at you in my whore's trousseau! My heat must have put a spell on all the sentries and ticket-inspectors .
.
the musk of five years' wanting a man.
They must have smelled it.
Well .
.
don't bother now.
I've changed my mind SHE LAUGHS What's going on? Get into bed.
I didn't see who it was.
Potty, I expect.
I'd forgotten about him! Where is the hussy? This is my wife's room.
I must ask you to leave this instant.
We'll see whether she's your wife or not! Leave this room! You assaulted an officer.
Are you drunk? By God, I'll have you for that! If you do not take General O'Hara away, I will order you to arrest him for drunkenness.
Consider yourself under arrest! Return to your quarters! SHE LAUGHS Well! What a lark! I am under arrest.
Why must you? Everywhere you go.
.
Oh, Potty asked for it.
I'm sure he did.
I asked for it, too.
Sylvia, I I'm so sorry.
SIREN WAILS THE BAND PLAYS 'He said they could have as much coal as they wanted 'at 1914 pithead prices.
' I notice, Captain Tietjens, that you have no fire-extinguishers on your unit.
You're aware of the disastrous consequences that would follow a conflagration? Yes, sir.
I was informed by Ordnance that there is no provision for fire-extinguishers for Dominion troops under an Imperial officer.
So, I applied, as advised, to a civilian firm I didn't ask for your memoirs.
Make a note, Levin.
Go and get your belt.
You can go round your cookhouses with me in a quarter of an hour.
You can tell your sergeant-cook.
You are aware, sir, that I am under arrest? I gave you an order to perform a duty! Sir! You're doing splendidly.
You understand, you're released from arrest if you're given an order to perform a duty.
Of course I understand.
It's the last thing I want! You can't refuse! A court martial would be He'd be He thinks the world of What did Perowne say? Perowne told General O'Hara Oh, I couldn't possibly! He told O'Hara he went to Mrs Tietjens's room at her invitation? It's impossible to believe anything against No, it's true.
He did.
But my wife was after fun, not adultery.
What has she told the General? The general has not seen Mrs Tietjens.
He couldn't trust himself.
He said she'd twist him round her little finger.
He's learning.
He refused to let Perowne speak.
He said Perowne could choose between going up the line and being broke by his regiment.
My God.
He believes so absolutely in Mrs Tietjens.
It's broken the General's heart.
Something he heard from the Capitaine, the liaison officer You! Put that down and tell Sergeant Case to report to my quarters at the double.
Yes, sir.
I'm supposed to ask you, was O'Hara drunk? The General is anxious for your opinion.
He and O'Hara graduated together from Sandhurst.
Then, O'Hara was not drunk.
Campion will be immensely gratified.
As Provost-Marshal, he had the right to enter my room.
I pushed him out, which is an assault on a senior officer.
I'd be happy to plead guilty to that.
And to being drunk, of course.
An officer doesn't strike generals sober.
Your mania for taking the blows I'd rather be broken than have this hell raked up.
Case! General Campion will be going round the cook-house in 15 minutes.
Right, sir! Don't serve out white clothing.
The General likes to see them in white.
He won't know white clothing has been countermanded, sir.
If you do that, one of your cooks will tuck a dirty piece of clothing into a locker where the General will find it.
Yes, sir, there's always one piece of clothing left in a locker for GOCIC's inspection and General Campion will always find it.
I've seen him do it three times.
This time, the man it belongs to goes for a court martial.
Sir! Sit down.
Captain Tietjens, I would be glad of your careful attention.
This afternoon, you will receive a movement order.
You are not to regard it as a disgrace.
It is a promotion.
I am requesting General Perry to give you the appointment of second-in-command of the VIth Battalion of his regiment.
What's your medical category? Permanent base, sir.
My chest is rotten.
I should forget that if I were you.
The second-in-command of a battalion has nothing to do but sit about in armchairs waiting for the colonel to be killed.
If you say so, sir.
Who is your sergeant-cook? Sergeant Case, sir.
Sergeant Case? He was in the Drums when we were in Delhi.
He ought to be at least a Quartermaster now, but there was a woman he called his "sister".
He still sends money to his "sister", sir.
He went absent over her when he was a Colour-Sergeant.
Reduced to the ranks.
20 years ago, that must be.
God help you, Chrissie, there's nothing else I can do.
I can't put you on my staff.
You crossed General O'Hara in some row over his redcaps, never mind threatening him with arrest, so now you've a black spot against your name as regards access to Intelligence.
Next, dammit, the commander of the 9th French army is an intimate friend of mine, but in the face of your confidential report from your time in French liaison, that's blocked.
If you examine the detail of the report, sir, you will see the unfavourable inclusion is initialled by an Intelligence Officer, Major Drake, whodoesn't like me.
What difference does that make? Not many officers DO like you.
Are you aware that there's one hell of a strafe put in against you by a RASC Second-Lieutenant called Hotchkiss? That was about Schomburg, sir.
I'd rather die than subject any horse for which I'm responsible to the damnable theories of Lieutenant Hotchkiss! It looks as if you WILL die on that account.
There was a request from your brother, Mark, through Room G14-R of the War Office that you be given command of the horse lines of the 19th Division, but the 19th Division's attached to Fourth Army now, and it's Fourth Army horses that Hotchkiss is to play with.
How can I send you there to be under his orders? Yes, sir.
You cannot.
I can send you home, in disgrace, or I can send you to your battalion.
You're finished here.
I cannot have men commanded by an officer with a private life as incomprehensible and embarrassing as yours.
Yes, sir.
I took that woman to be a saint! I swear she IS a saint! There is no accusation against Mrs Tietjens, sir! By God, there is! You let me think I remember every word of our conversation in Rye, letting me think Sylvia had gone abroad to look after her mother.
Sylvia and Perowne were seen together by Capitaine Thurston at the Hotel de la Poste in 1912! Can you beat it? Were they? Well, what is one to do when a woman is unfaithful? Sir.
Divorce the harlot! Or live with her, like a man! What sort of a fellow wouldn't see that? But there isor used to be .
.
among families of position .
.
a certain Well? Call it, parade! Was there? Well, there are no more parades for that regiment.
It held out to the last man, but you were him.
MARCHING BAND STRIKES UP Open that, will you, my man? Yes, sir.
I hope you had a good visit, Miss.
Very good, thank you.
Did the draft get off, do you know? It did, Miss.
Captain Tietjens' draft, at five o'clock.
You know the army, then, Miss? The lingo? I should say so! I'm the Captain's lady.
What do you think it's like, when you know this is it? Death! You are surely not in love with Christopher? You mustn't be.
Every word Christopher Tietjens and I ever said to each other was a declaration of love.
GUNFIRE You feel no pain.
But if my husband thinks he can throw me over for that scrub-faced ladies' champion of the regular bowel movement He's the only man who perhaps wouldn't.