Party Tricks (2014) s01e04 Episode Script

So, we're agreed? No confession? And if the story breaks some other way, we instantly and comprehensively deny.
Mm-hm.
Deal.
If we could pretend that the phone doesn't actually exist The phone in your hand? Yeah.
Thank you.
No-one likes playing second fiddle.
I understand that.
You ever try and backdoor me again What are you going to do? If you get us back in, then that'll be it.
That'll be your job done.
You're not a leader.
You're a fucking muppet, mate.
Yes, she had an affair, OK?! There it is! The Right Honourable Kate Ballard had an affair.
Who with? Good luck tomorrow.
Thanks.
Um See you out there.
Well, I I was just doing my job.
You know? You don't leave anyone behind.
And when you look back on that day, I mean, surviving that amount of firepower - I mean, what do you put that down to? Is it luck? Is it the training? Or are you religious? Well, luck.
There's no doubt I was lucky.
But in the end, really, it just comes down to the training.
You know? And that's what you fall back on.
Well, Russell Anderson, on behalf of all Australians, congratulations again on a richly deserved honour and thank you for your time.
Thanks, mate.
And we're out.
That was great.
Sorry, I get so nervous No, no, no.
You were terrific.
Was it alright? Really terrific.
Yeah.
Just let our sound guy jump in.
Just take your mike.
Good? Great.
I'll just pull that there for you.
Checking out tomorrow, minister? Ah, yes.
Having the house repainted.
I can't stand the fumes.
Well, you have a room on level 15.
It's a key room.
Is that alright? Yeah, that's fine.
Sorry, I'll just Kate Ballard.
Well, hello there, Ms Ballard.
So, how do you want to work this? Do you want to give me a room number? Oh, no.
You need a key pass here, so Are you listening? Course I am.
Every word.
You can take the elevator to the restaurant on level 4 and then text me.
Wow, you really have thought of everything.
Yes, I have.
See you soon.
Thank you.
She just needs to learn that it's not always about herself, you know? I mean, she's always been like this Do you want to get room service? Mm-mm.
You want to talk about what's happening here? Do you want to take a shower? Mm? Together.
Well, amidst rumours of tension, a show of unity as David McLeod and interim leader Trevor Bailey launch their transport policy here in They both pledged unity.
They both pledged to support regional development.
And typically, they both referred to their teenage daughters a number of times.
Mums and dads out here, working families, they deserve quality public transport.
And they're watching Kate Ballard spend billions and billions of their taxpayer dollars on an elitist, inner-city rail plan.
They've only got one question for Premier Ballard - "What's in it for us?" Mr Bailey? Janet.
Mr Bailey, as a party stalwart, how does it feel to be campaigning for someone with zero political experience? Well, I'm sure he'd finds it quite invigorating.
Look, Janet, change is part of politics.
I accept that.
And David's brought a great new energy to the party.
And look, for me, already it's been such an asset to draw on Trevor's great depth of experience.
Tom? The constant referencing of yourselves as fathers has attracted some criticism.
Some people are seeing it as a calculated move to highlight Premier Ballard's childlessness.
No.
Well, that's just ridiculous.
Yep, over here? No, I'm sorry.
I'm very sorry but if you can't talk about your personal situation, it's insanity.
Look, at the end of the day, I'm a dad.
It shapes my perspective, it shapes my values I'm sorry, but you can't say it's irrelevant.
Just on a purely practical level, in terms of physically carrying out the job, it is relevant.
How so? OK, Kate Ballard.
She's 40 years old and she does not have children.
Those are the facts.
And I mean, are we going to get a pregnant premier? Ooh.
Are you saying that a pregnant woman wouldn't be fit to govern? No response.
Trevor? Trevor! One moment.
Lucas.
Um, something just happened at the end of the presser.
What? I forget how it came up, but, uh, I think they were talking about family, and, uh Quickly, Lucas.
Trevor Bailey asked, "Are we going to get a pregnant premier?" And Hang on, he was asked, or No, no.
He asked it.
Like a rhetorical question about Ballard and 'cause I'm the only bloke And? with the only chance of winning this thing.
If you blokes And? Sorry, they're arguing.
Who? David and Trevor? In public? Um, sort of.
Lucas, are they in front of the press? Not really.
OK, Lucas, listen to me.
Hang up immediately.
Separate them, take them aside, and call me back.
Um Now, Lucas! Do it now! James, I'm going to need a taxi.
Yep.
They look beautiful.
Hi.
shake your hand.
Lovely to meet you.
When I first met Mark, he was only exporting 10%.
So, in six years, you've quadrupled that export figure.
Yep.
And two or three kids in that time, Mark? Yeah, there's two and one on the way.
Model of productivity.
Yes.
Well, it's been a lovely walk through the orchard with you.
Thank you.
Yeah, no worries.
And we'll see you next time.
Thanks again, Kate.
Thank you.
OK, thanks, boys and girls.
We'll see you at the next stop.
You should all have your itineraries.
Uh, if you could just take a look at that.
A pregnant premier? Off the back of questions about their families, yes.
What? I can see on one level it's funny I'm sorry.
It's just I know you're very exhausted, but I thought the issue was that I was too barren? Now I'm too fertile? You can't win.
Well, it will dominate the news agenda today, and there are consequences that we need to consider.
For example, you are scheduled to visit a maternity ward.
That may now be ill-advised.
Let it out then.
Charlotte Wynn.
Hey, Charlotte.
Natasha Lee from Late Edition.
Tash.
Please tell me you're not calling about the 'pregnant premier' thing.
Oh, no, no.
We're, um Look, I'm actually calling about a completely different story today about your man.
OK.
Yeah, I'm calling about 'the' story.
'The' story? Uh-huh.
And I was hoping we might be able to get David back in the studio for a response.
A response? To what? Uh we'd prefer to sit on that at this stage.
So you want me to deliver David to respond to something you're not going to tell me about? Yeah.
Yes, that's exactly what I'm asking for.
Charlotte, you really don't have any idea what it is that I might be talking about? Uh, should I? Um, well, I can tell you that it involves another extremely visible public figure and that it is almost definitely the story of the year.
Oh, come on, Tash.
Give me something.
What is it? Sex? Money? Corruption? No.
Look, talk to David and then get back to me.
We're going to go to air with it right after the debate on Wednesday night whether we get him or not.
Pretty sure you're going to be calling me back.
Bye, Charlotte.
Just please.
I've put out your stationery - we've got file cards.
Going to take you back to high school debating.
Right.
Well, we've got half an hour, so let's just go through a few.
You don't want to take a second? You don't want to talk at all about this whole #PregnantPremier? Wayne's given you a little briefing, has he? No.
Yes.
Yeah, he's just spent the last 15 minutes trying to convince me to do a tacky tell-all with Geoff.
He actually used the phrase, "sympathetically barren.
" Sympathetically barren? Said we need to flip the perception from 'deliberately barren' to 'sympathetically barren'.
I want to start a band called Sympathetically Barren.
Come on, let's just run through.
Alright.
OK.
Alright.
"Regional economic growth.
"Kate Ballard, why is your government placing limits on this huge" You know what the truth is? The truth is that Geoff and I did try to have kids and it didn't happen.
And I know everyone thinks I've chosen not to have kids and I'm OK with that.
The last thing I want is some terrible personal self-interest story - "Kate's Private Pain.
" Fuck me.
You could make sure that it's not like that.
You know, if it was say, a Fairfax long-form article and, you know, maybe like a profile on you and Geoff and you do it with a respected journalist.
You know, the public, they don't know a lot about your marriage.
It might not hurt to show another side.
"Regional economic growth.
"Why is your government placing limits "on this huge economic frontier?" Regional growth is hardly strangled.
It's proceeding at record rates, but we're ensuring that the economic benefits are enjoyed by all Victorians.
Not just a few corporate interests.
Crowd goes wild.
Why aren't you with David? He's just in the bus.
And Trevor? He went back to the electorate office.
Got really quite aggressive.
Define aggressive? Shit! Here comes Trevor's press sec.
He's really pissed off.
What's his name? What's his name? Jonathan.
Jonathan, good to meet you personally.
Charlotte Wynn.
Trevor is extremely upset about David's behaviour.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Some of the language that David used was completely inappropriate.
He combined the f-word with the word 'retard'.
Fucktard! Yes, yep.
I got it.
Cameras weren't even that far away.
Look, Jonathan, I think we should pull David out of the Town Forum tonight.
Take a breather.
I think we should do breakfast tomorrow morning, and I can assure you David will be fine by then.
No, just Pregnant premier! Have you seen this? It's already the top trending story in the state.
Yes.
But we've got to move on this quickly.
David.
OK.
That's why I think I come out right now Let's just wait and see what filters through.
and I say that I find Trevor Bailey's comments deeply inappropriate and misguided.
And that's why I'm asking Trevor Bailey to resign from the party.
You're joking? Look, there'd be fallout, but we can manage that.
David, until you've actually won the election, you don't have the authority to fire anyone.
Thank you, PR girl.
I'm aware of that.
But I wouldn't be firing him.
I'd be calling on him to resign and letting public pressure do the rest.
He said himself he wants to knife me.
I know, David! I know that! Yes, Trevor Bailey is a dickhead.
He's a vindictive little dickhead.
But until the election is won, you have to tolerate him.
That's politics.
Anything that's ever been achieved ever is because someone shut the fuck up and worked with a dickhead.
I myself have worked with many dickheads.
So please, stop adding to the tally.
I kind of like you a bit yelly.
Suits you.
Also, I just got a very weird call from Tash at Late Edition.
She says they're sitting on a story about you.
She's called it "The story of the year.
" "The story of the year"? Look, she might be bullshitting, but she kept saying that you'd know what it was.
Know what what was? She said it involves another very public figure.
Now, like I said, she could be bluffing.
But it doesn't seem like her.
It's either minor or it is a bluff.
Ignore it or deny.
Oh, and David? Did you call Trevor Bailey a fucktard? OK.
Well, as your 'PR girl', I'd suggest that you have breakfast with him tomorrow morning and apologise.
I'd also suggest that you don't ride on the press bus anymore.
Are you done? I'm done.
They claim David McLeod marks a new chapter.
But there's Trevor Bailey, right beside him, still serving up the same pointless, reductive, personal attacks.
Make no mistake - this is a broken party.
A party bereft of ideas.
And wheeling in some deeply unqualified celebrity as leader doesn't change that one bit.
Well, the polls suggest that McLeod's message is connecting.
Honeymoon effect.
Those polls will change.
And I think David McLeod's puppet leadership will be seen as one of the most cynical, one of the most misguided moves in Australian political history.
OK, thank you very much, Deputy Premier.
Oh, pleasure.
Shh.
Come in.
Feel like I'm behind enemy lines or something.
They tell you you can't have partners? No, but I don't want to ask.
Just be careful, those are debate-prep questions.
Which you promised to help me with, by the way.
Ooh, tourist information.
"Bacchus Marsh.
"There's no limit to what you can see or do.
" Mm-hm.
That's quite the claim.
Ooh, yeah.
Peter Carey came from Bacchus Marsh.
And Cath Claringbold, who is apparently a celebrity chef.
What is it? The batphone message? Someone died? I um, have to go and see Kate.
Immediately.
Something breaking? It might be about to.
On Late Edition.
Do what you've got to do.
Ollie? I do know people at Late Edition.
Just um I'll be back.
Hey, Kez.
Is Kate Hey.
Yeah, yeah.
Kate's here.
Oh, good.
Can I Yeah, go on.
she's very sensitive.
Geoff.
Uh, hi.
Oliver.
Yes, of course.
Come in.
- No, is Kate - Hi.
Hi.
So, we are doing an interview first thing tomorrow morning.
Did Wayne tell you? Mm? No.
Probably off doing backflips of delight.
Journo's coming all the way out here.
We're just going to do it in the motel cafe first thing.
Lyn Randall? You know her? Not personally.
I've read her stuff.
Yeah, she's good.
Good tone.
Won't let it be sensationalist.
Do you think we could Some debate prep? That would be great.
Why don't you go and find us a space? I'll just be a couple of minutes.
I'll do that.
See you.
See you.
possibly some throws.
We just need to make it look like it's a Somewhere that Kate and Geoff would share a coffee.
Candles? Certainly.
Thank you.
Please, yes.
I've got to go.
Yes, hello.
What's wrong? N-Nothing.
Doing the photoshoot and the interview first thing in the morning.
Has Late Edition contacted you? Yes.
They always contact me.
Why? Like in the past day or so, like today? Yes, several times.
Why? Tom heard a whisper that they were doing something.
Regarding Kate.
It's probably nothing.
Oh, they never give specifics.
It's always, "Explosive scandal! "Story of the year.
" They never give any details.
It's probably a massive bluff.
Ready? Yeah.
Strong signs? Yeah.
Any idea what those strong signs are? Wayne says they've been ringing us as well, and he's been deliberately ignoring.
Was it It might not be.
I mean, it could be anything.
Well, do you want to ask for more details? I'm just saying, "Whatever happens, as per agreement, "we deny everything.
" We're covered for this.
Mutual denial, we agreed.
That was just his word.
First question.
"Kate Ballard, why is your government placing limits "on investment in regional infrastructure?" Kate, you probably should be heading back.
I'd suggest kicking off with an apology, simple and sincere.
Oh, can I just get a coffee first? We'll get a coffee in there.
We're already 15 late.
Now, if you clear the 'fucktard' comment, I think he'll be much more reasonable.
What? Well, I've had, like, three hours sleep.
A fairly short fuse right now.
Take it, take it.
Charlotte Wynn? Charlotte, it's Tash again.
Late Edition.
You never got back to me.
Hi, Tash.
Yeah, look, I've spoken to the man, and we're not going to come in.
Not without more information.
So, whatever the story is, just run it and we'll consider our response.
It's either false or very minor.
Mm-hm.
Well, either you're lying to me or he's lying to you.
Look, Charlotte, this is an epic story.
You know I wouldn't lie about that.
And we wouldn't air it unless we had some really solid evidence, like testimonies.
Can we stop playing games? Just give me some indication of what this is Well, I can tell you that this entire election is going to be measured before and after this story.
Tash, we've always had a pretty good relationship, a mutually beneficial relationship.
I don't understand why you put that at risk now.
Because ultimately, this story is worth it.
I'm sorry, Charlotte.
Goodbye.
Yeah, yeah.
That was No, I can see I can see the error of my ways.
Well, right off the bat, I just want to apologise for the incident yesterday.
Obviously, there is no place for language like that.
I do hope we can get back on track and move forward together.
We appreciate those sentiments.
So, have you had a chance yet to talk about I don't think there's much to say.
Right.
We think it's been marvellously effective.
And the thing to do now is to let it sit, let it percolate.
Dear God I mean, that's embarrassing.
There is a lot of resentment about the comment, particularly online.
The 'mummy blogs' are in meltdown.
Good.
As we see it, people are thinking two things.
Either A - Ballard could have a baby and therefore would be a compromised leader.
Or B - it won't be a problem because she's chosen to be barren because she has no heart.
Either way, it's working.
A lot of prominent figures are leaping to her defence.
Yeah, but News.
com did an online poll, and they saw that 64% of female voters Sorry, can we just stop worrying about what other people are saying and just make a bloody judgment? I for one find it objectionable.
So I should go out, with Charlotte by my side, and say I've entrusted my whole campaign to someone who's six months pregnant.
That's where I stand.
Well, I certainly believe it was a reasonable comment and one that reflects our voter base.
Thank you.
Fuck me, he's got to go.
It's alright, I can make a play.
Divided parties never win elections David.
Never.
Yeah, yeah, no.
I know.
We've just gotta frame it like it's a show of strength.
Like it's ballsy, you know? Yes, David, enormous balls.
And pro-women.
Enormous feminist balls.
Fantastic.
If I do nothing, he's just going to sit there like poison, you know that? Disunity is poison.
And that was Tash again from Late Edition.
They're holding firm that they've got the story of the year airing tomorrow night.
David, you haven't screwed Kylie Minogue or someone, have you? As I said before, it's a denial.
They say they have testimonies.
From who? Denial.
OK, great.
Can we get some flowers here, please? Ladies? Thank you.
Yeah, I am also noticing a lot of grey.
Thank you.
Let's lose the empty vessel.
Thank you.
Quick question, Adam, can the wall be out of focus so it's Kate, Geoff, and then blur? Yep, sure.
Fantastic.
OK.
Um great.
Thank you.
Yeah, that would be great.
Could you just give us one minute? Is this the right thing? We've always said three rules - don't lie, don't campaign negatively, keep our private lives private.
What are we doing? We also said if you want to win, there are going to have to be trade-offs.
Hi, Lyn.
Hi.
Sorry to keep you waiting.
OK, if you just want to look at each other That's it.
Great, that's nice.
And Kate, look forward to camera.
And Geoff, you stay looking at Kate.
That's good.
Nice.
And Geoff, bit of a smile at me, please.
Big breath, big smile.
Hey.
Where are you? I'm back.
I'm just by the campaign bus.
Um, yeah.
Just hang on a second.
What's going on? Don't freak out.
I made some calls before, just to see if Late Edition actually had anything What? Now, I kept it really cool.
I didn't reveal anything.
I just spoke to Sal, the promo editor.
She said that it's an expose about an affair with David McLeod.
It was him? Yeah.
Just come this way.
I knew in about, oh, four and a half minutes.
She was the smartest woman I'd ever met and the most beautiful.
And still only in her 20s.
Hard to believe she existed.
And was it just as fast for you, Kate? It was fast, yes.
Ooh, she took some convincing, trust me.
Right from the start, I was taken with Geoff's energy.
He just He made things happen without hesitation.
And when you were around him it felt like you could achieve anything.
In her case, I believed that to be true.
And I was right.
Was the age gap an issue at all? A 27-year-old with a 40-year-old? How did your family react? Well, for them, it wasn't so much the age difference.
I think it was Geoff looming so large as a businessman.
They were worried that I'd just be Geoff Ballard's wife.
Of course, the opposite is true.
I'm the handbag.
Sal said that two days ago they were told to source all of David's old interview footage.
So they're going to play old interviews that they did together.
Yeah, but have they got sources? Evidence? Something like that? She said there's an interview with someone.
Not David himself? She didn't know all the details.
She thought there was some sort of witness, like Linda Tripp.
And apparently they shot it last night.
Who's Linda Tripp? She's the woman who blabbed about Clinton and Lewinsky.
She also said that they're giving half of tomorrow's show to it and the promo is, "The explosive secret "that will rock this year's election.
" Kate seems to think they can deny it, but he just messaged through, saying "May not be possible to deny.
" Wait Those messages are actually from him? You're getting direct messages from David McLeod? She should really give you a raise.
Ollie, I've got to ask you something.
Give it to me.
Give me the story.
We could beat them.
There's still thirty-something hours.
We break it first with a tell-all.
I'd be sympathetic.
I'd help reduce the fallout.
I'm sorry to have to ask.
And don't answer now, just know that it's an option.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
Do you talk shop? Sometimes, yes.
A bit too much.
Generally, I'll be saying to him, "Just calm down, consider things.
" And he'll be saying to me, "Oh, stand up and fight.
" Since she's been premier, I've had to be a bit more careful.
She hears endless opinions, all day long.
The last thing she needs is to listen to me banging on when she comes home.
I miss it, actually.
You miss giving your opinion? No.
I miss my friend.
Sometimes.
So, did you ever imagine starting a family? We did, yes, certainly.
We did.
Like a lot of couples, we thought it'd just happen.
And like a lot of couples, it didn't.
We tried for some years without success.
I imagine that must have been difficult.
It was an adjustment.
One thing we both have in common is we're both very tenacious people.
So to have something like that out of reach But it led to a period of reflection, which is always good.
To be honest, I asked Kate to leave me.
Knowing I was limiting her, it gutted me.
Clearly she didn't leave you.
No, no.
Loyal to a fault.
I'm sure it would have been a rich and rewarding experience to be a mother, but we have rich and rewarding lives.
I'm content.
I'm satisfied.
And I am incredibly excited and passionate about my future.
And the future of the state.
Thank you both so much.
Thank you.
Thanks so much for that, Wayne.
Any time.
OK.
See you at home tomorrow then? OK.
I need two minutes with Kate.
Now.
She can see you on the bus.
Kez? I need two minutes with Kate, somewhere private, just me and her, before we get on the bus.
OK, well, just wait down the side.
Thanks, Kez.
OK.
They do know.
Late Edition.
They've got the story of you and David.
They're going to air it tomorrow night.
Tom heard about it from someone on the show.
OK.
We deny.
We knew this was a possibility and we agreed I also got this text from David.
"May not be possible to deny.
" He sent it about half an hour ago.
Apparently Late Edition has an interview with someone.
I don't know who.
A witness? Something.
You're calling him? Just go back to the bus.
I'll meet you in a sec.
The heavily decomposed corpse of a 73-year-old body was discovered in the early hours of this morning, lying on the ground in a field 30km Hi, I'm kind of in the middle of something at the moment.
We need to speak right now.
Can you pull over and wave the bus on? Alright, I've got 30 seconds.
Just calling to confirm that whatever goes to air tomorrow night, as per agreement, we're both going to deny.
Well, depending on what they have.
No.
There were no conditions.
Yeah, apparently they've got this this Interview, I know.
But Yeah, with a witness.
Do you know who this witness is? No.
No, I don't.
I'm the one that hasn't told anyone.
You tell me.
We had an agreement to deny Yes, and I will do that if at all possible.
But that depends.
On what? On what this witness has to say.
You've never had any intention of denying.
Oh, my God! I can't believe I deluded myself into thinking that you were going to Do you know how offensive this is? You constantly think I'm trying to use this, us, to win? What kind of person do you think I am? I think you're ambitious.
And I think possibly this was always the strategy - to placate me and then fuck me over.
Oh, for fuck's sake! You know I thought that just maybe, somehow, we could get through this with some skerrick of respect.
Oh, please But this, this constant doubting, this suspicion.
The type of tactics coming from your side, the stuff that Paula was saying.
Yeah, that's a separate issue.
It's about respect, and your lack of it.
What about the 'pregnant premier' thing? Well, that wasn't me! David, this is an election campaign.
What did you think was going to happen? No-one goes easy on anyone.
I wanted to get through this honouring what we had.
But now I think, "Why the fuck should I bother?" And frankly, Kate, I don't need this to win.
I'm going to win regardless.
Yeah, if you could just let them know that we're slightly delayed.
Yes.
You OK? What's the last thing on the schedule for today? Is it debate prep? Yeah, I think it is, yes.
We're going to head back to the city.
We're going to head home.
Why? We're pulling over.
What? What? Why, Wayne? We've got ourselves a crossover.
What? Ah, yeah, sorry, Joe.
I'll call you right back.
We've got a crossover.
McLeod's campaign is approaching 'cause of our late departure from the hotel.
We've ended up with a campaign bus crossover.
Well, tradition dictates that we stop and get a photo of the candidates crossing over.
Nup.
All you have to do is shake the man's hand.
OK.
Good.
Wonderful.
OK, we're good to go.
It's We're going to stop at that citrus stall just near the post office if we can.
Mark, if we could just line up a shot so that we get both buses in frame? Hello.
Hello.
Pull a little closer so the buses are parallel.
Yep.
Where is he? He's not even in the bus.
He's not even on the bus.
Are you getting this? He rides in a follow-up car.
You got that? He doesn't even go on the bus.
That's elitism.
Kate goes on the bus.
Huh? Make sure you I look forward to our debate.
As do I.
It'll be good to talk actual policies.
I've heard very little from you on that front.
Well, you will.
You will.
Would you like to say anything? David, is there anything you'd like to say? David, if you wouldn't mind Fantastic day to be a Victorian.
Look at this! Beautiful, beautiful countryside here.
We'll see you very soon.
Well, it's the state political campaign that has captured the attention of the nation.
And tomorrow night, an exclusive revelation that will define this election campaign.
The secret history, kept under wraps until now.
It's a game-changing special report that you cannot afford to miss.
Thank you.
You're welcome, Miss.
Good night.
I don't know what you're thinking, but one thing - if you did want to beat Late Edition, you could break this on your own terms.
You could tell this your way.
I just need to get through the next few hours with Geoff.
I'll be here.
Tom know? Yeah.
Not from me.
He found out from a contact at Late Edition.
Did you confirm it? I guess I did.
Yes.
Be certain to talk to his wife directly, alright? Yeah.
Thanks.
And yeah No, just hold on a sec.
Yep.
No, no.
Yep.
Yep, absolutely.
Alright, just update me tomorrow, Jason.
Thank you.
There's been an accident on one of the Perth sites.
No big deal, but Legal's got itself in a panic.
Wine? No, thank you.
Hey, something we said in the interview has been bugging me.
Saying it was me who encouraged you to consider running for premier.
I don't know, out of context it could sound unfortunate.
What do you reckon? Should we get on to that or am I overreacting? Geoff I need to tell you something.
What? Everything alright? I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
What is it? Some while ago I had an affair.
A fleeting affair with David McLeod.
You're not serious.