Pistol (2022) s01e04 Episode Script

1 [MAN.]
'One of the most reviewed and most reviled rock phenomena 'of recent weeks, we got a few vote:- 'Sex Pistols.
'You can hear them warming up in the background even now.
' [BAND STRIKES UP.]
- 'Take it away!' - Flowers Romance Baby A Woodstock coming for me ♪ One, two, three, four! Get off your arse! ♪ Francie, are you watching? [FRANCIE.]
'Oh, Lord, yes, I am watching.
' I am an Antichrist I am an anarchist Don't know what I want, but I know where to get it I want to destroy your passion, boy Cos I I want to be Anarchy ♪ "Anarchy in the UK" is a call to arms for all the kids who feel that rock 'n' roll has been taken away from them.
[FRANCIE.]
"Meet Malcolm McLaren.
"He runs a shop called 'Sex'.
"He manages a group called 'The Sex Pistols'.
"His rockabilly leathers deconstructed "by the effete white scarf that shrouds his whey face.
" What's a "whey face"? I don't know.
There's a picture.
That face must be "whey".
Fundamentally, rock is a young people's music.
[JEANNIE.]
"McLaren declares himself "the commissar of a youth revolution.
" The bus! Come on, I want to get to the back.
How many ways to get what you want ♪ We have created a brand new "generation gap," says McLaren.
"16-year-olds" are telling 18-year-olds that they're too old.
Move along, foetus.
Look at this clown! Anarchy ♪ [MUSIC CONTINUES.]
[LAUGHING.]
All kids are anarchists Malcolm! until they get dragged into the system.
All the other bands that have risen out of the wake of the Pistols are great.
It's like having an army behind you.
We are to the Bay City Rollers what the Stones were to the Beatles.
See, that's cool, innit? It says here they're going to do a tour up North.
Are they coming to Huddersfield? It doesn't say.
- What are you slags wearing? - Show us your tits.
Show us your arse.
Get, you know Get lost! [LAUGHING.]
Ooh! - That wasn't very Punk.
- OK.
I'm just getting used to it.
Anarchy The way to be ♪ [GUNSHOT.]
What do you think? That has got "hit" - written all over it.
- Cheers.
When you get your new recording contract, I'd definitely suggest this is your first single.
Thank you, Dave! Next time I need advice from a stoned-out hippy, I'll know precisely where to turn.
In the meantime, please stick to your assigned role as a third-rate sound engineer.
He's just jealous cos I wrote the tune and most of the lyrics, apart from that rewrite you did on the 2nd verse which admittedly is an improvement.
The only thing that makes it not an ABBA song, is that I sing "pretty va-cunt", whereas you wanted "pretty vacant".
Dave's right.
When we present to potential record companies Shut up, Glen! Ugh! Are we fighting again? "Pretty Vacant" does not represent us as a band.
Oh, no, not like "Anarchy".
"I'm an anarchist.
I'm an Antichrist.
" Do you know what a hard time my mum gets at work over those lyrics? Because "anarchist" and "Antichrist" don't rhyme? [JOHN.]
I'm the one who people notice.
And I'm the one who bears the consequences, so pardon me, Glen, if I don't give a fuck what your mum thinks! Mind out, lads.
What is this? [MALCOLM.]
That is a call to arms.
That is a stream of unpunctuated hot air from a broken hair dryer.
Oh, please don't allow me to interrupt your very important potato prints.
Not important enough for you to mention in your interview.
Ah! Bruised ego, is it? I like the "anarchy" bit.
What about the "Bay City Rollers" bit? The bit about the shop and the band sharing a name? Well, it's just always good to throw some facts in with the bullshit.
I'm changing the name of the shop.
Well, we can't change the name of the band now.
The shop is not there to service the band.
The shop is not there to reinforce your brand.
Well, what is it there for, then? To expose hypocrisy and provoke revolution.
What, with sticky back plastic and squeezy bottles? [GRUNTS.]
Do you know the difference between you and me, Malcolm? How do I differ from thee? Let me count the ways Your idea of ambition is to be the new George Epstein.
Brian Epstein.
It's "Brian".
And my idea of ambition is to be the new Boudica.
I want to ride a chariot down Oxford Street and burn this city to the ground.
Oh! So, what does Boudica want to call her new boutique, then? "Seditionaries".
["ST.
JAMES INFIRMARY BLUES" ON ACOUSTIC GUITAR.]
There you go.
Da-da-da, da-da, da, da-da Da, da, da, da, da ♪ You're a fucking great guitarist.
- You know that? - I'm not.
You're just really shit.
Mouthy Yank! Play with me.
You might learn something.
I went down St.
James Infirmary I saw my sweetheart there Lying on a table Oh, so cold, so white, so fair ♪ [SONG CONTINUES.]
We do make great music together.
You talking about the lying-down kind, or the sitting-up kind? Both.
Well, actually there's more than two cos you can do the lying-down music standing up and sitting down.
And you can do the sitting-down music - standing up and lying down.
- [SHE LAUGHS.]
It's confusing speaking in metaphors all the time, isn't it? Ugh, it's a right nause! Da-da-da, da-da, da, da-da ♪ What is a metaphor? It's a thing that's like a thing.
Right.
Those northern towns are gonna hate you.
[STEVE.]
Might not make it back alive.
[CHRISSIE.]
Might not.
[STEVE.]
We'd better make music one last time before I leave.
See, now that is a metaphor.
Da Da, da, da-da Da-da Da-da, da-da, da-da-da ♪ [STEVE.]
Fucking hell! Go on, Cookie, push! - Are you doing anything? - My foot's all the way down! [INDISTINCT SHOUTING.]
Get in! Wait! I'm up front.
I'm the navigator.
- I'm up front.
I'm the star.
- No, you're not.
There's no point in asking, you'll get no reply Oh, just remember, I don't decide I got no reason, it's all too much You'll always find us Out to lunch Oh, we're so pretty, oh, so pretty ♪ [CROWD BOOING.]
We're vacant Oh, we're so pretty, oh, so pretty ♪ [MAN 1.]
You're not special! [MAN 2.]
Get here, you fucking cunt! There's gonna be a riot! Come on! Oh, look, the northern oafs are snogging.
I didn't know Barnsley was this brutal.
To be honest with you, son, it's like this most Saturday nights.
It's Wednesday.
The ceiling.
[VIV.]
We're going for a bombed-out look.
Yeah, just smash some holes into it.
It's full of asbestos.
If you unsettle it, it'll kill you.
I can't ask my lads to touch it.
OK, thank you very much for coming out! [SEX PISTOLS: "PRETTY VACANT".]
Victory! You fool! I'm starving.
It's obscene.
Well, I've only been provided with money for petrol and accommodation.
[JOHN.]
We can't work if we're starving.
- Yeah, fill 'er up, will you? - Yeah.
We're so pretty, oh, so pretty We're vacant We're so pretty, oh, so pretty - Hey! - We're vacant ♪ Uh-uh! No, no, no! You're the star.
You stay in the front.
Yeah, go on! I got no reason, it's all too much - You'll always find us - Nice one, Jonesy.
Out to lunch ♪ We are here.
We're so pretty, oh, so pretty ♪ They are here.
What are we gonna do? - [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
- Fuck off! Now And we don't care There's no point in asking, you'll get no reply ♪ [INDISTINCT SHOUTING.]
[MAN.]
Fucking cunt! We're so pretty, oh, so pretty We're vacant ♪ Where do you think you're going? We're vacant Oh, we're so pretty, oh, so pretty And now And we don't care We're pretty We're pretty vacant And we don't care ♪ Hello.
Good afternoon.
Good afternoon, welcome to the Grand.
I'm Bernadette.
You must be the Sex Pistols.
[BLOWS RASPBERRY.]
Right.
You'll be in the Ballroom.
If you could just follow me, gentlemen.
Our resident DJ Our resident DJ kicks off the proceedings at 7pm sharp.
There's a buffet.
You can help yourselves.
All right.
Then it's you from eight till nine.
- Watch the upholstery, John.
- [LAUGHS.]
- Don't even know what that is.
- Fucking Through this way.
And can I just say, the North Yorkshire Hairdressers' Association are beside themselves with excitement.
[STEVE.]
Look at that! Fucking hell! Will you stop pushing me through the fucking walls? - Leave it, John! - Fucking hell! Oh, holy shit! We open to the general at 6:30 for 7.
All yours till then.
I haven't heard you, but I've read a lot about you.
So, good luck.
Hmm! [WHISTLES.]
Whoo! I think it's time for a drink.
Boogie nights Boogie nights Boogie nights Ain't no doubt, we are here to party Boogie nights Come on now, got to get it started Dance with the boogie, get down Cos boogie nights are always the best in town ♪ What's Malcolm playing at, sending us on this tour of England's biggest twat-holes? Isn't exactly our target audience, is it? We're on.
What? - Look at the legs on that one.
- Yeah, I've seen 'em.
- In the middle.
- Yeah, I know.
Get that groove - Let it take you higher - [BELCHES.]
- [WOMAN.]
Disgusting! - Make it move Set the place on fire Dance with the boogie ♪ Hello, Whitby or Shitby or wherever we are.
Do you want to hear something real? [BAND STRIKES UP.]
Too many problems, oh, why am I here I need to be me cos you're all too clear And I can see there's something wrong with you But what do you expect me to do? At least I gotta know what I wanna be Don't come to me if you need pity Are you lonely, you got no one You get your body in suspension That's no problem Problem Problem The problem is you Eat your heart out on a plastic tray You don't do what you want ♪ [BERNADETTE.]
Could you turn it down a bit, please? The sound.
Turn it down! The sound! We've got Bingo on in the Lesser Ballroom.
They can't hear the numbers.
- Bingo? - Bingo, yeah.
Next door.
Two fat ladies, eighty-eight Two fat ladies, kind of, thirty-three Thirteen, not so unlucky That curious number, sixty-nine Problem Problem Problem The problem with you So, what you gonna do with your problem? Problem Problem ♪ Hey, it's Bernadette.
It's Bingo! Turn it up! [STEVE.]
This one goes out to Bingo and her boyfriends.
Suburban kid, you got no name Too dumb, baby, and you got no brain I bet you're all so happy in suburban dreams But I'm only laughing cos you ain't in my scheme Hey, babe I love you I love you I love you ♪ Oi oi! What's that noise? The sea.
That's the sea.
[GLEN.]
Get out! You never once got taken to the seaside? My childhood wasn't quite the lap of luxury yours was, Glen.
Even us impoverished Irish immigrants had the occasional seaside holiday.
Poor, underprivileged Jonesy.
Fuck off! [GRUNTS.]
Ugh! I didn't mean anything.
You're always going on like I'm some kind of rich kid, but I grew up the same as you.
Oh, right! That's why you went to that posh school, is it? I went to grammar school because I passed the entrance exam.
Fair enough.
I was too thick for all that.
You know why I play bass? Loneliness.
All them grammar school kids thought I was scum.
And all you lot thought I was a stuck-up posh boy, so, uh I learned music.
But I didn't start a band.
You did.
And, uh it's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
You're not thick, Steve.
Yeah, Rotten's got all that but you're the one who actually gets things done.
Well, for my money you're smarter than all of us.
- Come here, you! - Oi, oi, oi! Stop it! No! Oh, fuck! - Hey, Cookie! - Woo-hoo! No Fuck me! Steve, be nice, I'm gonna be sick! Raving fucking hell! For fuck's sake! For fuck's sake! They're perfect tonight! They play like a band.
There's no point in asking, you'll get no reply Oh, just remember, I don't decide ♪ [MUSIC SLOWING DOWN, VOCALS FADING OUT.]
I can't bear it any longer, Francie.
I'm a prisoner in my own home.
It's time for youth revolution.
Get in! [INDISTINCT SHOUTING, CHEERING.]
[CHURCH BELL RINGING.]
Welcome to Mission Control.
Well it's a dump! Oh, hello.
I'm Steve.
I know.
I know who you all are.
And can I just say that I think what you're doing is so important.
You could say that, but would it be true? Look, don't mind Johnny, he's a right nause.
Do mind Steve, he's a sexual maniac.
Yeah, I am.
Sorry, there's nothing I can do about it.
[MALCOLM.]
Sophie is my aide-de-camp.
- Aide de what? - I think he means assistant.
Oh, grammar school is finally paying off.
Sophie shall be giving you your weekly wages.
Oh! How much do we get? Twenty-five pounds.
[JOHNNY.]
What? I used to get more as an apprentice.
It's just until we start selling records.
Speaking of which Your freshly negotiated EMI recording contract.
- Give us a look.
- How much is it for? Forty thousand pounds.
Whoa, fuck! Wait, hang on, hang on.
Then why only 25 quid a week? Well, the 40k is to pay for the recording of your new album.
- Come on! - Oi! This is a complex legal document.
You get 25 percent, and we pay your expenses? - All very standard stuff.
- [STEVE.]
Look, it's all right.
Malcolm knows if he stitches us up, I'll break his fucking legs.
Don't you, Malcolm? Too right, my boy.
Right, who's first? Oi! Wait, wait, wait! Can we see the actual cheque? [MALCOLM.]
The actual cheque.
Made out to "Glitterbest"? What's "Glitterbest", Malcolm? Sophie, will you explain it to him? Um, Malcolm tells me "Glitterbest" is a limited liability company.
The money still belongs to you.
"Glitterbest" merely handles it.
You seem like a very sensible girl, Sophie.
If there's anything wrong with this, it's your fault because you're the only one what's read it.
- [GLEN.]
Oi! That it John! - [STEVE.]
Too right! [MALCOLM.]
You can all hire lawyers if you really want to, but frankly, they are a bunch of corrupt bastards who are not worth their pay.
Isn't that right, Sophie? - Well, I can't say - Of course you can't! Neither can I.
What I'd much rather you do is go on Thames Television live tomorrow evening to discuss the phenomenon that you are about to become.
Thames Television? - Which show? - "Grundy".
"Grundy"? My mum loves him.
Sign the contract, then go tell the world.
- [GLEN.]
You're not joking? - [SYLVIA.]
We've told everyone.
Your aunt Julia almost had a conniption.
Everyone watches it, don't they? It's really quite exciting.
I always knew you'd be famous.
You get it from me.
Charisma.
[LAUGHS.]
- Why are you on? - Because You haven't done anything wrong, have you? Are you on it as well, Steve? Yeah, were all gonna be on it, Mrs.
C.
Oh Should've asked me on.
Is your mum excited, Steve? Oh yeah.
- Bound to be.
- We're on cos - You haven't told her, have ya? - Mum! We've got a recording contract.
- Oh, lovely.
- That's a big deal.
Go and tell her, Steve.
She's your mum.
[MARY.]
On telly! That's exciting.
We've got a contract, Mrs Jones.
- It's a lot of money.
- Oh, Steve! Yeah, we're actually on tonight.
On the "Today" show.
That'll be a laugh.
It'll make a change from keeping it to ourselves, watching him cock up live on TV.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well, now the whole world will get to see what your poor mum's had to put up with all these years.
Lazy little sod.
Huh? Honestly What did we do to deserve you? Ey? - Don't miss it.
- Yeah.
Ta-ta.
[PLAYS ALTERNATING NOTES.]
Sexy young assassins! Your carriage awaits you.
[PLAYS FASTER, LOUDER.]
Jones! Steve! Steve! Are you all right, my boy? [CHUCKLES.]
Never better! Come on.
- Oh, no, no, no - [INDISTINCT.]
For fuck's sake! Oi! [CONVERSATION CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY.]
[WOMAN.]
I was told the band was a four-piece.
We're not a band, we are a movement.
Now, if he talks to you about violence, remember, you have to destroy in order to create.
If he asks you about filth, just turn it back on him.
Talk about the filthy conditions the poor live in or something.
Just turn it back on him every time.
This is going to be very confrontational.
Do shut up, Malcolm! - You all right? - What? - It'll be a piece of piss.
- Good! - Cos I am fucking damn pissed.
- Good.
[WOMAN.]
You know, there really are a lot of you.
- There's a lot of you.
- Do we get a fee for this? No, not a fee as such, but you're welcome to go back - and finish the crisps.
- Ah! [SHOUTING.]
[WOMAN.]
Just come through calmly! [MALCOLM.]
Behave yourselves! I think you'll find that I'm the king of this establishment.
- And you'll need more chairs.
- Hello! [WOMAN.]
Please find your seats.
Do not touch anything.
And make your way to the set! [JOHN.]
Oh! You are rather cross! [WOMAN.]
We are live in three minutes! [MAN.]
Sit down! [WOMAN.]
Do not touch the cue cards.
- Are you going on, too? - Me? No, no.
- I'm the éminence grise.
- Oh.
Course you are.
The interviewer's late.
- What are you doing for a job? - Fat oaf! - Hello.
- Better late than never, eh? [THEME MUSIC.]
[GRUNDY.]
'They are punk rockers.
' - Oi, oi! - 'The new craze, they tell me.
'Their heroes? Not the nice, clean Rolling Stones.
'You see, they are as drunk as I am.
'They are clean by comparison.
' There you are.
He said they're drunk.
'And I am surrounded now by all of them' - [STEVE.]
'In action!' - 'Let's see the Sex Pistols [BOTH.]
'in action.
' We were there.
Why are we watching this? They're good, they are.
People are gonna be disappointed we aren't Queen, ballet dancing like Mr Mercury.
- Is that what I was wearing? - Oh, look! Beauty and the beast! - NVC going live - [BELCHES.]
in five, four [GRUNDY.]
'I am told 'that that group have received £40,000 from a record company.
' Did he just say "40,000"? A load of old bollocks! It's hype! You know? Not real money.
- 'Tell me more about it.
' - 'Fucking spent it, ain't we?' [GASPS.]
What did he say? What did Steven just say? - Did he just swear? - 'Good Lord, that's shocking!' - He's joking, though, isn't he? - I think that fella's drunk.
Are you serious, or are you just trying to make me laugh? Yeah, it's all gone.
- Really? - Yeah.
- I mean what you're doing.
- Oh, yeah.
- You are serious? - Mm.
Beethoven, Mozart, Bach Yes, well, they're all heroes of ours, ain't they? What did you say, sir? - Yes, they're wonderful people.
- Are they? Oh, yes, they really turn us on.
But they're dead.
Well, supposing they turn other people on? That's just their tough shit.
- It's what? - [JOHN.]
Nothing.
A rude word.
- Next question? - No, no.
What was the rude word? Oh, what the fuck did he ask him that for? 'Shit.
' [GASPS.]
Oh! There you are! I told you, didn't I? Here we go.
He's just more or less asked him to swear live on air! Are you worried, or are you just enjoying yourself? - Enjoying myself.
- Are you? - Yeah.
- That's what I thought! You know, I always wanted to meet you.
- Did you really? - Yeah.
We'll meet afterwards, shall we? You dirty sod! [LAUGHS.]
- That told him! - [STEVE.]
'You dirty old man.
' Well, keep going, chief, keep going.
Go on, we got another five seconds.
- [STEVE.]
'You dirty bastard!' - [GRUNDY.]
'Go on, again!' 'You dirty fucker! 'You dirty, dirty, dirty fucker!' - [GRUNDY.]
'What a clever boy!' - 'What a fucking rotter!' [GRUNDY.]
'Well, that's it for tonight.
'The other rocker, Eamonn, 'and I'm saying nothing else about him, 'will be back tomorrow.
I'll be seeing you soon.
' I hope I won't be seeing you again.
From me, though, good night.
[THEME MUSIC.]
What a disgusting sleaze! Shit! I hope my mum wasn't watching! [ALL OPERATORS.]
Please hold! Please hold! Right, that - That is the complaint line! - Oh! Oh, just Just get in the green room.
I knew he'd be bad, but I didn't think he'd be that bad.
- Uh, tell me about it! - You tellin' me! What have you done? What you told us to do.
I did not tell you to end your entire career, to destroy everything that we have worked for, by appearing in front of the British public on teatime television as a bunch of sweary toddlers! Malcolm! Always the revolutionary until the barricades go up, and then he runs home to Grandma.
Look, the bloke just wound us up, and No one has said the word "fuck" on British TV ever before in history.
Brendan Behan.
What? It's a matter of great pride to the Irish community in Britain that the first person to use the F-word on British TV was in fact the poet Brendan Behan.
He said "fuck" to Malcolm Muggeridge.
Ten times.
So this is just a storm in a china tea cup on the table of doilies of your cowardice.
Who told you to laugh? No, no, it's just doilies are funny.
So funny! Whoops! [STEVE.]
Our work here is done.
Let's go back to the old hideout, get pissed! Destroy! [THE MODERN LOVERS: "PABLO PICASSO".]
Some people try to pick up girls And get called assholes This never happened to Pablo Picasso - He could walk ♪ - It's in the bin! I brought you the papers.
- Cheers! - Who is she? - Uh, she's - I'm his music teacher.
Yeah.
yeah, yeah.
That's right.
You might wanna read those headlines.
Wait! You can't! "The Foul-Mouthed Yobs.
" "Were The Pistols Loaded?" "The Filth And The Fury.
" "Filth And The Fury" is good.
- [BANGING ON DOOR.]
- [MAN.]
News of the World! Johnny? Tony says you're a foul-mouthed Fucking hell! Open up, boys! [STEVE.]
How the fuck did they get up there? Sid! Sid! What are you doing? Answering the door.
Is it an orgy, boys? Let's give 'em an eyeful of this.
[JOHN.]
Get your hand off that knob! - This is punk! - Shh! We do what we want where we want! And we ain't scared to show the world.
You think I want the world seeing me like this? My dear mother might think I was stupid enough to exchange bodily fluids with these harridans.
Oi! Piss off! I wouldn't exchange bodily fluids with you if you were the last body in London! - Open, sesame! - Sid! I'll tell Mum that you led me into this depravity, and she will ban you from our house forever! No more cups of tea! No more iced biscuits! No more motherly sympathy! Just cold, hard banishment! - I do love your mum.
- And she loves you.
Let's keep it that way.
[MAN.]
Come on, boys, let's see you! Oh, God! Hey ♪ And now, music news.
'A huge uproar's broken out 'after members of the punk rock group The Sex Pistols 'repeatedly swore live on teatime television.
' Our Father Which art in heaven ♪ [MAN.]
Oi! There's Johnny fucking Rotten! Come here, you fuck! I'm gonna kick your head in! My mum was watching that, you fuck! Get in! Lock this door! Lock the door! Fuck! - Drive! - You fucking cunt, you! I mean, this I like, cos this is something different.
You know? This is what it should be about.
Look at you! You think you're all right, don't you? - Or what exactly? - Ponce! Cunt! Oh, here we go.
Ding, ding, next question, please.
For thine is the kingdom - And the power - [SCREAMING.]
And the glory Forever And ever ♪ Quick, Julia! And ever ♪ Fucking cunt! [SID.]
They should've kept an eye on you.
You're the face.
And what makes the band the band.
It's not your fault everyone wants to talk to you.
They got to appreciate that take care of you.
You're my only real mate, Sid.
You'll need another, for later.
I'll be dead by the time I'm 21.
Don't say stupid clichés like that.
No, I mean it.
Do you want a cup of tea? Yeah, thanks.
I'll make it.
[BLONDIE: "X OFFENDER".]
You read me my rights And then you said "Let's go" and nothing more I thought of my nights And how they were They were filled with ♪ [VIV.]
No, pet, we did not spray-paint "Scum" and "Filth" on the outside of our shop.
Why would we do that? Yes, I suppose it is the kind of thing we would do, but in this instance no! - Malcolm - [PHONE RINGS.]
- It's your call, Mal.
- Yeah? ['MALE SPEAKER, INDISTINCT'.]
No I Well, couldn't we? We couldn't.
Yes, no, I see.
I see.
- What? - The shop Actually, never mind What? - EMI have just dropped us.
- And the shop has been Oh! Are they asking for the money back? No, no, no, the advance is not returnable.
So, this is interesting.
[GLASS SMASHING, KIDS SCREAMING.]
Stay down! Stay down! - [MAN SHOUTING.]
- What happened? Watch you mouths, you filthy scum! Fucking fascist arrogant cunts! What's happening? The fascist bastard just threw a bloody brick - through our window.
- Not the window! I can see what happened to the bloody window, you fool! What have you done? What have you done to our lives? Are you all right? Are you all right? Look, they've gone.
Are you all right? - I'm OK, Mum.
- Let me see your hands.
Oh, I know what I've done.
I've made us matter.
[MALCOLM.]
Right, thanks to my strategy, we are now poised to change the world Your "strategy"? You were shitting your pants.
[MALCOLM.]
You have been banned from playing right across the country, which is wonderful.
- Wonderful, how? - Society fears you.
You matter.
And to add to the glory of the day, EMI have dropped you.
- What? - Shit! - Which means - We're fucked! It means that we're available.
We are available, and we are infamous! And we are an instantly recognisable brand, which is why Jamie is here.
Jamie is an anarchist, a Druid, and a genius.
In that order.
He is also now our new Head of Marketing.
Working under him will be Julian.
Uh, actually I'm an independent.
- And Helen.
- Uh, I'm independent, too.
We're a team.
And to build our world-wide brand, we must sharpen and focus our image.
Imagine we're in a movie by Jean-Luc Godard.
Imagine I punch you in the face.
You would play the tortured street poet.
You would play the rough, yet sensitive criminal.
You would be the street-smart, loyal friend.
Naturally.
And you You would be - Uh - The really boring mummy's boy with bad hair, bad jeans, and a very annoying, whiny little voice.
You fucking cunt! No wonder everyone in this band fucking hates you! Sorry.
Not much sleep.
It's all right.
That's anarchy.
- He speaks! - Only occasionally, but with great perspicacity.
We need to create a visual style that supports the fundamental anarchy that lives both within and without the band.
You see, perspicacious.
Incomprehensible! Jamie's also on with Sophie.
- Thanks, Malcolm! - Well, it's a matter of fact! - Prick! - What I mean is, we are all one great, big unhappy family! And families yell, and they scream, and they fight, but none of that matters, as long as we stick together.
[DENNIS BROWN: "MILK AND HONEY".]
Where is it? It's supposed to be there.
- That's him! - Stay calm.
Follow him! Excuse me! - Nice! - Don't stop Jah! Jah! Bring forth milk and honey, don't stop Let the newsmen write What they wanna write ♪ I need to see Malcolm.
He's not here, pet.
- Fuck it! - Come on, then.
Mind out! Yes? Um, we - We - We want to change our lives.
Yes.
Completely.
Put this on.
Oh, God! I couldn't wear that.
Never! Let me tell you about this.
For hundreds of years, women had to wear stuff like this under their dresses.
They literally lived in bondage.
Are you asking us to wear it now, then? My project is to summon this darkness out of its own shadows and into the light of reason.
Is that a song? It's a creed.
All these means of oppression were hidden away behind bustles and crinolines.
And it were no different when our mothers were young.
The Playtex girdle was just another corset destroying your insides.
Wait.
Are you saying you wear this on the outside? Of course! I don't make underwear.
What do you take me for? Marks and Spencer? I'm not St.
Michael, darling.
It's too sexy.
It's way too sexy.
It was designed to be sexy - to offer women's bodies up to the gaze of men, but you wear it on the outside.
And what happens? You get a lot of funny looks.
But no wolf whistles.
Turn the male gaze back on itself.
It's the opposite of sexy.
It exposes the mystery, the mechanics.
Do you follow me? Wait, are you saying we could wear this stuff? We can't afford it.
I'm dressing you.
The gig is my show.
And you're going to be on the catwalk.
[CHUCKLING.]
[MAN.]
Are you ready? We're from Huddersfield! We love you! You thought that we were faking That we were all just money making You do not believe we're for real Or you would lose your cheap appeal Oh, don't you judge a book just by the cover Unless you cover yet another And blind acceptance is a sign Of stupid fools who stand in line - No need to cut - And there is no reason why - No need to cut - I tell ya it was all a frame - No need to cut - They only did it cos of fame EMI - I do not need the pressure - EMI I can't stand those useless fools EMI - Unlimited supply - EMI Hello, EMI Goodbye ♪ [BLOWS RASPBERRY.]
Sidney! Sidney! Good evening, London.
We are the Sex Pistols, and we are coming to shoot you down dead! He's gotta go to the loo.
- Steve, I want a quick word.
- Where? I'm grabbing the others.
In private.
John.
John.
I just want a quick word.
Steve! [STEVE.]
What's up? I just wanted to give you one last little kiss for the evening.
A&M would like to offer you a contract.
How much? A hundred and twenty-five thousand pounds.
You're f Fucking kidding me! Have a good evening, boys.
And I suppose the cheque will be non-returnable? You know, so if we get dropped again, it'll just disappear under the Glitterbest umbrella? Well, I mean, I haven't read the fine print yet, um but if you're concerned, may I suggest that you don't get dropped? Huh? - Easy enough, innit, I guess? - Stevie! Steve! Uh, back in a sec.
Come, sit.
Join me.
- Glen has a point.
- Right.
If this doesn't work we're running out of labels to sign with.
And? John has musical differences with Glen, and Vivienne has stylistic differences with Glen.
And I know you think that he's Look, he's a nause, but he's all right.
He doesn't fit the brand, though.
And John won't work with him anymore.
He said that? You should consider edging Glen out.
- I should consider? - It's your band! - Yeah, but, I mean - Oh, come on, my boy, you have to do what is right for the band.
Make me proud! - You OK? - Yeah.
What are you having? [WOMAN.]
I was so disappointed.
Uh I'll just, uh I'll be with you in a sec.
[INDISTINCT, EXCITED CHATTERING.]
Oi! - Hello, Huddersfields.
- Hi.
- I thought I recognised you.
- From the crowd? I could hear you both screaming from the stage.
- Be honest, what did you think? - It was amazing.
- Did you think? - Yeah.
- Best thing ever! - Where are you going? Oh, well, we met some people, and they said we could sleep on their floor.
- Oh! On their floor? - Mm-hmm.
I can do better than that.
Look, if Oi, oi! [WHISTLES.]
You're both welcome.
There's plenty of room.
I mean, I don't know - So I wouldn't mind.
- Yeah? - [FRANCIE.]
All right, then.
- [STEVE.]
All right, then.
So, what was your favourite tune? My favourite one would be "Pretty Vacant".
It's not far from Uh Jordan! - We.
.
- I'm taking care of them.
It's all right, I'm taking care of them.
Oh, crossed wires.
You're talking about the girls.
I'm talking about the clothes.
- Step in, girls.
- Sorry.
430, King's Road, please.
Night, Steve.
Coming through! Coming through, make some room.
Hey! That's for you.
Oh, oh, oh, oh! [ALL CHEERING.]
What's your hurry? Eh? You got a minute? Yeah.
Is this about the money Malcolm gets when we sign? Cos I think we should be talking about this to the others, too.
It ain't about the money.
It's about [CLEARS THROAT.]
personnel.
You are fucking joking! - Thing is - You are fucking joking! I was talking to John No, you weren't talking to John.
You were talking to Malcolm.
And you weren't talking to him, he was talking to you.
Ah, come on, you know this is mental.
- You know you need me.
- It's my band! Mine.
And what I'm trying to say to you is you're sacked.
All right.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Whenever Malcolm feels like shafting you, you just bend over, don't you? Malcolm's good little boy.
You fucking Yeah, come on.
You love that.
- Fuck it! - Huh? You'd love to be able to say that we had a big manly fight Yeah? so that you wouldn't have to tell anyone that you bent over.
Boys, boys, b We're just going up the Roxy.
Let's go.
Steve, you coming? Why not, Steve? Yeah, Steve, why not? Fuck! [JORDAN.]
You look fabulous, ladies, but I'm afraid we're going to need those pieces back.
[JEANNIE.]
Vivienne said [JORDAN.]
Vivienne said you could exhibit them.
She didn't say you could own them.
I bet the lads in the band keep theirs.
They do.
But I imagine Malcolm deducts the cost from their earnings.
He does mine.
A thank-you present.
From Vivienne.
For doing the clothes justice on the night.
I'm sure you'll be splashed all over the New Musical Express.
These are train tickets.
To Huddersfield.
- With compliments.
- We've run away from home.
And now you can run back and tell everyone what you've seen.
But, no We're staying.
You've got nothing, you know nothing, and if you stay here, you'll become nothing.
You think we're just stupid little girls, but we're punks.
You're just old.
"Old"? Well We're the new generation gap.
Good for you.
And how long before you're the old, new generation gap? What'll you have then but a très boring story about how you were once the brightest young things at some gig no one even remembers? Go home.
Learn things.
Get clever.
Make your own destiny.
We'll be back.
Yeah.
You can count on it.
No one's gonna be fucking bothered about fucking Glen! Fuck! No one's even gonna know it was me.
I just saw Glen at the Roxy.
Oh.
We had musical differences.
He snores in the van.
He's the best musician and songwriter in your band.
He dresses like Paul McCartney, always washing his feet.
- His feet? - He doesn't fit the image.
What's Malcolm got over you, Steve? Why can't you ever stand up to him? Cos he Cos Cos he stood up for me.
In court.
He said I meant something to him.
He gave me a chance.
And you of all people, you can You can understand that.
Can't you? I mean, it's just like you with your music.
You You just need someone to give you a chance.
And they will.
I mean, they will - sooner than you think.
[JOHN.]
There he is! The man of the hour.
This calls for celebration, Chrissie.
We have a replacement.
Our man Jonesy is about to give a very unique individual the chance of a lifetime.
The chance of a Who is the replacement? Wait Are you going to ask me? No [CHUCKLES.]
No, it's all sorted.
Hello, Chrissie.
Guess what I'm a Sex Pistol.
[GUNSHOT.]
[BUZZCOCKS: "EVER FALLEN IN LOVE".]
You make me feel like dirt, and I'm hurt And if I start a commotion I run the risk of losing you, and that's worse Ever fallen in love with someone Ever fallen in love, in love with someone Ever fallen in love, in love with someone You shouldn't have fallen in love with I can't see much of a future Unless we find out what's to blame What a shame And we won't be together much longer Unless we realise that we are the same Ever fallen in love with someone Ever fallen in love, in love ♪