Queer As Folk (2022) s01e04 Episode Script

1
Almost done.
Most of the country is in a drought,
and you are literally taking
showers for 20 minutes!
Sorry.
It's okay.
Solving climate change seems
kind of hopeless anyway.
Brodie, I'm leaving.
What in the gay hell?
Hey, I forgot my
Never mind.
Hey, Mom?
Yeah?
Have you seen that uh, that jacket?
It was it was just here.
The the hot one.
Um, I think so.
Oh, yes. Thank you.
- Gimme.
- You mean myjacket?
Yes. Can I borrow it?
Hmm. What's the occasion?
Nothing. Come on.
- Gimme.
- Tell me. Tell me.
Stop.
Who are you texting?
It looks like someone
just peed in your Cheerios.
No one.
- Thank you.
- Fine.
I know, we share everything.
I kind of miss you borrowing
my clothes for your looks.
You remember that, uh, slip nightgown?
It was so "Romy and Michele."
Mm, yeah.
A-buh-buh. Mom!
What? Come on.
I didn't even look.
Okay, I gotta go.
I'm already running late,
and my friend's waiting for
me, so I'll see you later.
Okay. Well, I'm heading out.
Why don't I drop you off?
I am not going anywhere
with you in that.
You look like "Emily in Paris."
Don't be jealous.
- I'm not.
- Okay.
Why don't I drop you off?
Okay, fine.
Fine. Let's go.
Chop-chop!
Excuse me.
We were promised brunch,
not an opportunity to
do manual labor for you.
Well, I thought it'd be
a good group activity.
We can snack and talk and clean.
Fun.
In the name of feminism,
I will not be mopping up your cum cave.
Speaking of,
glad someone's getting
something to eat this morning.
Brodie, call us old-fashioned,
but can you have people
fuck after the babies leave?
Sorry for the show.
Gotta keep sucking this dick
as much as possible before tomorrow,
when this little Cinderella
turns into an unpaid pumpkin.
Not my choice.
- Good morning.
- Morning.
Okay, so I think we are due
for a night off of Ghost Fag.
Every weekend is a lot.
Yeah, I think I need
a break from being gay.
Wow, so the one night you
want to cancel Ghost Fag
just so happens to be the same night
designed to give
people with disabilities
an accessible place
to hang and fuck, like?
I mean, they've waited this long.
What's one more night?
I'm kidding.
I'm just tired, and
I want my space back.
What about you, Julian?
Don't you want to hang
with your fellow crips?
Marvin, you literally
refuse to be my friend.
And now you see why.
Look, the party's happening,
okay? Press are coming.
Oh, the real reason
for your altruism. Wow.
As much as I would love to fuck Shar
while being interviewed for
some straight girl's podcast,
it's our anniversary.
- Aww.
- Yeah. Brunch, babe?
Yes, but first, I'm gonna
need you to pose with the babies.
They look so cute right now.
Mm.
Aww. Our first family photo.
Family? Since when? You
can't even tell them apart.
Well, first of all, they
look like two identical blobs.
And secondly, maybe I would
be able to tell which one
is which if you invited
me over to hang sometime.
Seriously?
You've expressed zero interest, Brodie.
W-which is fine, obviously.
Maybe I'm becoming daddy-curious.
Yeah, for the next five minutes,
until you're distracted
by a literal daddy.
Ooh, drag him.
Come on, Ruthie. Let's go
face-fuck some pancakes.
Yay. All my favorite
old people in one place.
Ah, Mingus, so glad you could make it.
Ooh, chocolate chip.
Grab a muffin and a broom.
Yes, sir. Reporting for duty.
Glad I'm missing, uh, whatever this is.
Um, Marvin, about the crip rave,
do you have to have sex,
like, in front of everyone,
or is it just
Yep.
It's mandatory you get railed
by every single person in the room.
Afterwards,
they won't know if that limp
is from the CP or the orgy.
Delightful. I'll do snacks.
Hey, you okay, J?
Yeah.
I feel like I'm gonna pull an Ephron
and be the "Wallflower
at the Orgy" tonight.
What are you talking about?
You recently got arrested
for blowing a rando in public.
Okay, that was an enclosed space,
and no one was watching.
How's it gonna be, being
at a sex party with Noah?
It'll be fine.
I mean, I'm over it.
But what about you, hm?
I know you're anti-sex party,
but are you anti-dating?
No. I'm not anti, I just, um
I've never been in a
relationship, and, uh,
they just seem like this
complicated intrusion
on a person's otherwise happy life.
Mm, yeah.
I mean, they canbe complicated.
You know? but they can also feel like
a warm sweater for your heart
and penis.
Whatever.
The point is, is that I
like things the way they are.
Okay?
Oh you're gonna want to make sure
that glory hole is the right height.
My friend, Benny, really hurt his back
crouching down into one.
Mom, what are you doing here?
Da fuck? We got people's
moms in this bitch?
Um, hi.
I know we're breaking, like, 50 laws
using this as an event space,
but please don't tell on us.
Did we kidnap your child?
Because you can have them back.
Mom, I repeat, what are you doing here?
I just came to give you your lipstick.
You left it in the car.
Not mine.
Well, anyway, hi, everyone.
My name is Judy.
Whoo!
Oh, can I do the honors?
Uh, Brodie, this is Mingus' mom.
Uh, Judy, was it?
Brodie, Mingus has told
me so much about you.
And by "so much" I mean
he's been really cagey,
and now I see why,
because you're a lot older than him,
aren't you?
- Oop.
- I I mean, I'm not judging.
I was just, um, taking
in the information.
We're just friends.
Mom, can you stop, please?
- I'm Marvin.
- Hi, Marvin.
One of the geniuses behind this here,
you know, crip rave
extravaganza/sex party.
Oh, wow.
An inclusive orgy.
This generation really is
gonna change the fucking world.
It just sucks that the
poppers today are so shitty.
That's what I've been saying.
Where are the fucking standards?
Right? Right?
It's, like, a knockoff of a knockoff.
Oh, my God. I sound like
the older guys I dated.
Oh, my God. Mom, can you stop please?
Like, this cool mom routine you're doing
is fucking embarrassing.
Okay! I fucked up!
Where are you going?
Mingus!
Don't just say she's
a rich bitch or a slut.
Let's try and go deeper than that.
Really ask yourself,
what kind of titties
would my drag persona have?
Big, wild, natural ones
or hard-as-a-rock fake ones
you got done on the cheap in Mexico?
It's called character building, y'all.
Wishful thinking, Skyler.
You're right. I got greedy.
Uh-huh, and you cleaning that up too.
Look who fucking came back.
You ready to play, Chicky?
Yeah. Yeah, I think so.
All right.
Why are we so dressed up?
Are we going to an "Eyes Wide Shut"
masquerade ball/orgy?
You know it has to be a surprise.
It's tradition.
Oh, shit.
Brenda just texted saying
she has quote, unquote
"martini poisoning" and
can't babysit tonight.
- No.
- I guess
I guess I'll start canceling.
Canceling?
Uh, no, bitch. It's our anniversary.
We're going out.
But there is no one that can watch them
with this short notice.
You know, I just want the record to show
that I'm here, bravely
abandoning my baby, Ghost Fag,
to help with my other
babies, and for that,
Uncle Daddy's a hero.
They are not your babies, bitch.
What Shar means is that, eventually,
we should talk about
the role you want to play
in our children's lives,
but for now, just don't kill 'em, okay?
Sorry. Ali's texted me eight times
since I walked through the door.
Oh, this is promising.
You can't even do one thing at a time.
Ah, give him a break, Shar.
He could be our Mary Poppers.
The most important thing to remember
is they have to be down by 7:00.
If you miss that window,
you've summoned Satan.
They'll scream all night, and
it'll be hell for all of us.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 7:30 p.m. Got it.
I said 7:00.
Mm. Hilarious.
Admiral's Plantation. Wow.
Is this your problematic
fav or something?
It's a NOLA institution.
The food is supposed to be incredible.
Plus, it's fun to act bougie
and privileged for one night.
Let's have the confidence of mediocre,
straight white men.
Confidence isn't really
an issue for me, babe.
But sure, I'll give it a try.
Uh, Flo, Jett, why are you acting
like two circuit gays in
front of a plate of carbs?
Just drink the milk.
Okay. Um, fine.
Shh. Fine.
Um, how about we take a selfie?
Come on. Help Daddy show
Noah that he's a recovering,
responsible fuckboy, okay?
Hey, look, look. Hi! Hi!
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Oh!
Oh, wow. Here. Yeah.
Remind me to teach you your angles.
What does one wear to a sex party?
And why is there a sex swing in my room?
Marvin wanted to make
room for the Hoyer lifts.
Also, I'm gonna have to see
some of these outfit options
on you to know for sure.
Don't look.
Ta-da.
Only you could pull off a
button-down at a sex rave.
Here, let me.
Oh, thank you.
Actually, leave the top few unbuttoned.
Well, what are you gonna wear?
Very little.
Marvin guilted me into
being a go-go dancer, so.
Wow. How nice for everyone.
Would you tip me?
Mm-hmm.
Ugh, that's it. Okay?
You need to stop being all
"Temptation Island" with me,
because Brodie is my brother,
and it's too incestuous,
even for gay guys.
Be my man ♪
What up, sluts?
I know you're all dying to
tear each other's clothes off
or have your attendant
take them off for you,
but I want to remind everyone
that we're not just
fucking for fun, okay?
We're fucking for charity.
All proceeds go to local disabled orgs
whose founders I haven't
called racist on Twitter.
Oh, and if you want
to take photos, fine.
Whatever. Just remember: consent.
Okay? And don't forget
to use the hashtag
"fuck disabled people"?
Ali.
When I asked you to come
up with a catchy hashtag,
I thought it was gonna
be something empowering,
not offensive.
It's both. Like you, honey.
Look, y'all.
Go have fun, all right?
Be my man ♪
Recently, I turned 50,
and, well, it sucked.
Gay 50 is straight 70,
and it's like suddenly,
you're invisible.
And it's really hard
not to internalize that.
But I'm here because
I refuse to be erased,
and more importantly,
I refuse to erase myself.
For me, drag is an act of defiance.
All right, Mingus, you next.
Oh.
Well, hello.
I'm Mingus.
And gee, uh,
I'm here because I like drag.
And I really need to work on my sewing.
So just a little bit about me.
Mm-hmm.
Thank you, thank you.
On that note, let's take a break.
Come on, people.
I didn't order these
custom-made glory holes
for this middle school dance bullshit.
All right? It's time
for us to come together.
Literally. Grab some genitals.
Let's go, let's go! Damn.
Hey, where are the straws?
I didn't get any.
It's bad for the environment?
It didn't occur to you
that some of us need straws
to eat or drink?
Oh, I'm I'm really, really sorry.
I'm actually not usually
this bad at being disabled.
Let me guess.
Your disability is a
shellfish allergy?
I'm Julian.
Well, what gave it away,
huh? The seafood tower?
Oh, right.
That makes sense.
Oh. Oh, no, no. I-I can't.
I, um, I I need to stay here
and, um, not have sex with you.
Honey, why are you giving
me "Go-go Boy, Interrupted"?
I'm fine.
Huh.
Oh, hell no.
- What?
- You and Julian?
You out here making puppy eyes
at that one-man goof troop?
No, I'm not.
Oh, I get it.
It's not safe to discuss in public.
Well, why don't we
go get a private room,
while you give me a lap dance?
Uh, uh, uh, uh.
Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh.
I hope you enjoyed your soup.
The turtles are local.
Wait, wait. Did I just
eat literal turtle?
Because that would be amazing.
Uh, fuck turtles.
They're so slow. They
deserve to be eaten.
Uh, can we just get, like, some bread?
Sure. I'll be right back, ladies.
Okay, that's the second
time he's misgendered you,
and you even politely corrected him.
It's whatever.
I'm used to it.
Do you hate it here? I fucked up?
I-I'm good, baby. I love it.
Okay. Actually, it sucks.
Fuck that waiter, and fuck this place.
I appreciate the thought.
Baby, I do, but why are we here?
Literally everyone in this
room voted against our rights.
I just wanted to do something different.
I get it, but we can
still be young and fun.
The twins are safe.
Look, Brodie's been
documenting the whole thing
on Instagram.
Oh, look at their red, puffy eyes.
I mean, they look like
they haven't stopped crying
since we left.
They'll be fine.
Shar, we've earned a wild night.
You're right, you're right. I'm sorry.
Now, open your gift.
Jewelry?
This is how we supposed
to get our edge back?
Just open it, psycho.
Ooh, Ruthie.
- Coke?
- Mm-hmm.
Ruthie, bitch, you
trying to get me arrested?
Hell no.
I haven't done that in years. No.
Come on.
It's the perfect drug for parents.
It only lasts 15 minutes.
We'll be totally sober
by the time we get home
to the little babies.
Wow.
I definitely should have gotten beignets
for the sex party instead.
You know what?
This is why I prefer having sex
with strangers in
public restrooms, okay?
There is no food element required.
Yeah, well, I'm trying to branch out.
Just, um, living at Ghost Fag is, like,
a little intense for me.
Yeah, yeah.
Just, um
I guess I'm not sure if
I fit in there, either.
Okay. Can I just say something that's,
like, potentially offensive?
Signing seems hard.
I'm I'm so sorry.
I just I think that
having CP and being deaf
might just be a bad disability match.
What'd you sign?
We all go up ♪
We go up, up, up, we go up, yeah ♪
Boy, I'll tell you this.
You better at shaking that
ass than you are at lying.
Can't believe you're making me
have this conversation
in a wrestling onesie.
Marvin, who hurt you?
Sit down, baby. You good.
All right, you really
can't tell Brodie anything.
Not like there's anything to tell.
Nothing's even happened.
But you want to though, huh?
Especially after
seeing Julian leave here
with that hot wax figure of a man.
O okay, okay. He wasn't that hot.
Girl, he was so damn fine
it made me hate Julian even more.
How does that man keep
pulling such top-shelf dick?
Shouldn't you be, like, friends?
Why? Because we both disabled?
Don't make me cancel your ass, Noah.
We're just different, all right?
Julian's just some basic-ass,
rich-ass, white-ass gay
that walks around like he
just had leg day at the gym.
Better question is why
do you like him so much?
What are you guys crying about?
Look, I get it.
You're inheriting a fucked-up world,
and you're gonna have to clean
up my generation's giant mess,
but you don't know that yet.
Okay.
Fuck!
Oh, shit. It's almost 8:00.
Your asses were supposed
to be in bed an hour ago.
Okay.
You know what?
Let's let's go on a quick field trip.
Yeah? Okay, shh.
"I need to work on my sewing."
That was really moving, Mingus.
I choked up.
Yeah, well,
I didn't know this was
gonna be group therapy.
Like, why can't we just go back to,
"What kind of boobs should I have?"
That was fun.
If you think that drag
is just padded bras,
tucking, and death drops,
you in the wrong place.
Baby.
Being honest in this
space will help you,
as a performer and as a person.
Everybody in this room
has gone through shit.
And they not gonna judge you.
- We loved it. It's just
- Eyes.
Eyes are bigger than our stomachs.
Okay. Where were we?
You were worried about
turning out like your mom.
Oh, it's already happening.
No, baby, it's not.
I wouldn't let it.
I fucking love you.
I fucking love you too.
And my mom, I guess.
They know where they are.
Watch your elbows, miss.
It's very hot.
Look, I don't I don't
want to be annoying,
but I already told you I'm not "miss."
Right. Sorry sir.
Ugh.
Oh, my dude.
Look, I told you my
pronouns are they/them.
Okay, now, I know you busy
serving all these people tonight,
but I want to implore you to consider
why we, as a society,
have this compulsive need
to gender people, because
It's a construct, bitch.
That's right, baby.
I mean, we don't sit here
and gender this bread pudding.
Mm-mm.
We don't sit here and wonder,
"Now, does this bread
pudding have a thick cock
or a tight pussy, hm?"
Let's find out then.
Uh-oh. Oh, okay.
Ooh, fuck.
Ooh-hoo!
It's a boy.
It's got a big, old thick dick.
Mm-hmm.
- Oh, its dick is so big.
- Mm.
It's gonna take a improv class.
Oh.
- That's disgusting.
- Okay, uh
- Ooh.
- Mmm.
Maybe you shouldn't have
the fucking word "plantation"
in the name of your restaurant!
Fuck you.
Wow. Bitch is back.
Yeah. I don't know what
the fuck is getting into me.
- Cocaine.
- Ah, right.
Right, right, right,
right, right, right.
- Right.
- I have more.
Uh, you know, babe, I think I'm good.
Shar, seeing you like that,
it was fucking hot.
Should we go rave it up?
Ruthie, the way your brain works.
My brain's not what's gonna be
fucking the shit out of you tonight.
Oh!
Julian looks at things the way
that I used to look at things,
before I became a fucking jaded
go-go dancer with a law degree.
Damn, I forgot you were a lawyer.
You are like out of
a fucking porno, Noah.
Look, I I get it.
It's problematica with
the Brodie of it all,
which is why you can't
say anything ever.
Calm the fuck down. I won't.
Not like anything will
even happen 'cause,
oh, that boy has boundaries for days.
Well, no shit. He's probably
got mad intimacy issues.
More than the average queer person?
Uh, yeah.
Look, Julian's CP might
be more mild than wild,
but, you know,
he still lives in a society
that doesn't give a shit.
You know, he's probably just like,
all right, message received.
I don't deserve a boyfriend
or, like, fucking anything.
You know, it's like, how
can his heart be accessible
when the world around him isn't?
Well, I'm gonna say it.
Tonight was a lot more
sweet and wholesome
than I would have thought.
Wait, wait.
I can't go inside.
I have to stay outside.
I'm gonna go back to Ghost Fag.
Don't let the party stop ♪
Just keep the rhythm hot, hot, hot ♪
Don't let the party stop ♪
Okay.
Okay, it's okay.
Okay, y'all.
Um, y'all are just gonna
hang it here for a second,
okay, while I pass off the keys.
And hey, hey, hey, do not judge me
for putting you in a sex swing, okay?
I'm a work in progress.
Keys?
- What the
- Bye, Ali.
Okay. Let's get you back
to Mommy and Zaddy's
Oh, my God.
Y'all found serenity in a sex swing.
You really are my kids.
I've wasted so much time
not being my authentic self.
Like, up until fourth grade.
But now, it's time to fully be me.
What about you, Mingus?
Who is Chicky Fil-A?
What's at her core?
My mom's hand-me-downs.
Mingus.
Bussey.
Um, I mean, when I
started wanting to do drag,
my biggest trauma was when
my seventh grade boyfriend,
uh, Tristan, ghosted me,
which in my defense, was really hard.
He was, like, so cute.
But, uh
yeah, then, um
Babylon.
I don't know. It's like, sort of feels
like I skipped a few steps.
I mean, like, I'm 17,
you know, and I
I feel like I'm marked or something.
Um
I don't I don't
I don't really know
if I'm supposed to talk about this.
Just talk.
It's okay if it's too much.
It's a process.
All right. I'm sorry to disappoint,
but I am withdrawing
from this trauma dick-measuring contest.
Hey, Mingus, we're
almost done for the day.
You know what, Bussey,
do you get off on this?
Like, no kink-shaming,
but I don't need drag that
fucking bad, all right?
Mingus.
Okay. What's going on?
Are you gonna punish me for
being gone most of the night?
Because
Ooh, fuck yeah, baby. I deserve it.
Marvin, shut up.
Do you trust me?
Is this the part where you
tell me you murdered someone?
Because I don't know if
I can help hide a body.
Marvin.
I'm serious.
Do you trust me?
Yeah. I do.
One second.
Okay.
To read lip.
Oh, of course. Yeah.
Hot.
Sticks and stones may break my bones ♪
But that, that, won't,
won't stop, stop me ♪
Sticks and stones may break my bones ♪
Sticks and stones may break my bones ♪
Sticks and stones may break my bones ♪
But that, that won't,
won't stop, stop, stop ♪
Sugar and spice and everything nice ♪
That's what they'd like
to think they're made of ♪
Sugar and spice and everything nice ♪
That's what they'd like
to think they're made of ♪
Mmm. Now let me do you.
No.
This isn't about me.
It's about you.
I want you to feel good.
It's different for me. You know that.
Just let me explore a little bit.
All right?
- Feel good?
- Yeah.
I've never touched your legs before.
Is that okay?
Yeah.
Wow.
Did my brother pay you?
Are you a sex worker?
N no.
No.
I'm really trying my best here.
Maybe one day
I don't know
I can become someone you'd
be proud to call your dad
not donated sperm.
What the actual fuck?
You think Flo and Jett are old enough
to be at a sex party, hm?
No, but they didn't go
down for their bedtime.
Oh, you're too busy
performing babysitting duties
for Instagram, rather
than actually babysitting?
Look, the only reason I came
here was to drop off the keys
you know what? I'm done.
I've been trying to show
up for everybody tonight
and prove that I'm actually
responsible, but you got me.
In what way have you been responsible?
Well, Shar, the babies are asleep.
Don't do that. Don't defend him.
- I'm not.
- I hate this.
I hate that you always
protect him when he fucks up.
Okay.
I'm sorry. It's just we
were having so much fun.
Don't let this ruin our night.
That's exactly what this
is, Ruthie, one night.
This is not our lives anymore.
I know that.
I don't think you do actually.
Fine. Let's just get out of here.
I'm sorry.
You're clearly doing a great job,
and I know you don't need my help,
but if Brenda ever bails
We're good, Brodie.
- Okay, but
- You are not needed.
It's okay, it's okay.
It's okay. Hi.
What's this?
I am extending our relationship.
Do I even want to know
where you got this money?
No.
Wow.
What?
We raised a shitload of money
for disabled charities tonight.
And, like, if you think about it,
I'm a disabled charity too, you know?
Look, I had a great time tonight.
Like, a really great time,
and I'm not ready for this to end.
I feel like you and
I, we've got a thing.
I mean, a paid thing, I know.
I'm not being delusional or anything
- Marvin.
- I just
I feel the same way.
Which, to be clear, is not great.
Sex workers falling for
their clients is a big no-no.
I know I'm irresistible.
You are.
Look at you tonight,
just commanding every
room you walk into.
I don't walk, bitch.
You know what I mean.
I like being around you, all right?
Mm, mm.
I am at my quota on
emotions for one night.
Well, look who it is.
Didn't expect to see you till morning.
How was Leo?
Leo was a surprise.
Look, I know you were
nervous about tonight,
and I just wanted to make
sure you had a good time.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Okay.
Hey.
What are you doing here?
Just wanted to see you.
Do you think I'm a fuckup?
No. I don't.