Running Point (2025 s01e04 Episode Script
Doljanchi
1
Is it offensive if I say
I feel like a Korean princess?
Yes, people would be offended.
It is so nice of you to do this
for your husband and your in-laws.
I kind of had to. They're still mad
that Gene didn't marry a Korean,
but at least I'm not white. No offense.
And, seriously, thank you so much
for doing Milton's Doljanchi.
And thanks for hosting it at the facility.
My in-laws love basketball and wealth.
Look, I know it's not
as glamorous as you're used to,
but there will be
a signature cocktail, the Miltini.
As his godmother, it is my honor.
Now, what is it?
The Doljanchi is a rite of passage
on a Korean baby's first birthday.
I mean, you would've been to Michael's,
but you and Lev were at Coachella.
Okay, it was to see Kanye.
I mean, before… Obviously.
Look, I know you have
that owners' conference,
but if you don't show up,
Gene's sister gets to hold Milton,
and I can't stand her.
You know, she drives an Audi
and also wears Audi clothes.
It's her whole personality.
Hey, I know you hate Grace.
-I will be there.
-Thank you.
Time’s up, this a late fee ♪
Hand over your savings ♪
So, owners' conference is tomorrow.
How are you feeling?
Oh, I mean, can't wait.
I mean, Dad was a legend at these things.
It's where he did some of his
biggest deals and rigged the '88 draft.
I'm not talking about that.
I'm talking about the Hoopli deal.
Hoopli is a new streaming app
for exclusive content
from the four biggest markets
in the league.
I'm talking LA, New York,
Chicago, and San Francisco.
These four teams drive the majority
of basketball viewership.
Our ratings are more than
the rest of the league combined,
but that's never been reflected
in the ad revenue we see.
Until now.
Hoopli will televise
our games exclusively,
and the Big Four gets to keep the profits.
It's gonna make us a shit ton of money,
which would be nice
because it has been an expensive year.
Those Dutch tourists that Cam ran over
are shopping their life rights.
You'll meet with the New York,
Chicago and San Francisco owners
and sign the deal.
-They want to announce it tomorrow.
-How do the smaller teams feel about this?
Oh, they don't know about it yet.
Oh, is that cool?
Well, uh, don't worry about them.
It's their fault for being from,
like, Rhode Island, or whatever.
Do you need me to join you?
Did you join Cam or Dad?
No, but that's because
they liked doing drugs and prostitutes.
Well, I can go to meetings
and sign papers.
I'm just like them,
except I won't do either of those things.
Might have a Xani on the plane.
It's a 45-minute flight to Phoenix.
Ness!
-What the hell?
-Oh my God. What time is it?
You just missed a huge meeting.
Did you sleep here?
And why are your underwear so small?
They're European cut.
Can you tell me what's going on
before I throw up?
Bituin kicked me out.
Did she leave you for her trainer?
I get that. I get it.
What? No. I'm as hot as Reginald.
We're both nines.
Okay, you have to put some pants on.
-Right.
-So, what happened?
I don't know. We were out at dinner,
and she started pitching me
one of her businesses.
"Thongs for Moms."
She said it's an underserved market,
but I've financed so many of her ideas,
and none of them make money.
Anyway, I step away to take a call,
and then I come back to the table,
and the busboy says,
"Your wife has left,
and you're no longer welcome at home."
So I'm gonna have to crash with you.
No. No, you don't have to crash with me.
You have to crash at The Peninsula
like every other rich guy
with marital problems.
Sandy, I should not
be alone right now, okay?
I could just picture myself
on some hotel balcony,
wondering what it's like
if a 210-pound man comes crashing down
on the roof of a Maserati.
That'd be on you.
That is so manipulative.
Hmm.
Fine. You can stay in my guest room.
Oh yes!
Thank you. I need this.
What you need is some mouthwash.
Oh my God.
Hey, I was just thinking about you.
You know, I can't wait to jump back
into The Crown tonight.
Hey, did I tell you I heard the corgis
kept biting Dominic West on set?
It was all over DeuxMoi.
About that, um…
I have to cancel.
I have COVID.
Oh my God. Uh, okay, well then
I'm coming over to take care of you.
No, no.
Uh, there's a really bad strain
going around.
Um, I hear even Joe Rogan's masking up.
Are you sure?
Yeah, yeah, don't come over.
I love you. I'm gonna call you
as soon as I'm feeling better, okay?
Well, we did it, boys.
- Yeah.
- Dom, Henny, potatoes lyonnaise.
Hey, you know what, y'all?
Since I'm feeling generous,
this one's on me.
Thanks, Trav.
Psyche!
Let's see. Whose turn is it?
Tradition is, rookie has to pay.
- Okay.
- Thompson?
No, no, you had the last one.
Wait a minute.
Victor, you haven't gone yet.
Dinner's on you, rookie.
Ooh!
Twenty-five stacks? Damn.
Twenty-five thousand dollars?
Thank God
for first-round signing bonuses, right?
Oh wait, you ain't get one of those.
Hey, you're next, D-League. Ooh!
-Hi, uh, is Ms. Gordon around?
-Nope, she's in Phoenix for a conference.
Oh, okay.
-Uh, could I have her cell or something?
-Not giving you that. What do you need?
Could you maybe tell me
ballpark how much I make?
Uh, yeah, sure.
Let's see… For a rookie call-up
non-guaranteed deal…
Uh, $55,000.
Damn, my kid's preschool's more than that.
Oh, could I get an advance?
Like, maybe all of it in one lump sum?
By dinner, if possible?
I'm sorry, Dyson,
but we're not Wells Fargo.
No, they were much ruder to me
when I called them.
What about a loan?
We used to do that with players,
but it's a slippery slope.
It starts off with a mortgage payment,
then we're paying for your mistress' BBL.
Sorry. Is everything okay?
Not really.
The owners' conference, baby.
Time to step up, sign that deal,
and announce to the world
that Isla Gordon has arrived.
Nothing can stop me from…
…shrimp tail.
Shrimp tail.
That was a shrimp tail.
Did you just eat garbage?
I did that my first time here too.
Malkeet Dasari,
San Francisco owner.
Made billions in tech.
He said he will
eliminate homelessness by 2030.
Not sure how that's possible,
but he's got an incredible head of hair.
Isla Gordon,
you make a hell of an entrance.
Malkeet, so nice to finally meet you.
I love what you're doing in San Francisco.
I-- I hate the homeless…
problem, you know?
-Ugh, it sucks.
-Mmm.
I know, and I was pleased to hear
that you got your start in charities.
You know, when I made my fifth billion,
a man told me it's not about
how much money you have,
it's about who you help.
It was Bono.
Who let that Gordon kid in here?
I'm just joking.
Irv Plotkin from Chicago.
Made his fortune in deli meats.
Good friend of my dad's.
He had a heart attack at my Sweet 16.
-Isla Gordon.
-Aw!
-Really good to see you.
-You too, sweetie.
The last time I saw you,
I had my old heart.
-Yeah, this one belonged to a pig.
-Oh.
And get this,
since the operation, I can't eat pork.
I mean, I still eat ribs.
-Oh, you gotta eat ribs.
-Yeah, yeah.
Oh, and I was so sad to hear about Cam.
-Yeah.
-All my boys have been through rehab.
Two for booze,
one for an addiction to anime porn.
Whatever the hell that is.
Irv, no one wants to hear
about your wacko son.
Ugh! Frank Shaughnessy.
Even for a New York City slumlord,
he's a real piece of shit.
But I can put that aside.
This is business.
-Isla, how are you, honey?
-Hi.
Hey, Frank.
Ooh, it's not very awake of me to say,
but you are one tight package.
And you're not young, neither.
-Thank you.
-Hey, Malkeet. How are you?
Take that as a compliment, I guess?
All right, so now that we're through
jerking each other off,
can we talk Hoopli?
Hmm? Because I want
this press release out tonight
so I can bend Irv over
on the golf course in the morning.
- Unless I bend you over first. And I will!
- Oh!
So good!
Assault!
Yes, um, I need
a significant credit line increase.
- Uh, from $1,000 to $50,000?
- Yeah, we can do that.
-What are the terms?
-A 37% interest rate.
37% interest? That seems really high.
-No, it's not high.
-Oh, it's not?
Hey, yo. Remember, we're going to dinner
at Mastro's tonight on Dyson.
Yeah, we got the paperless post.
Why you reiterate our plans all the time?
I got ADHD, bitch.
Yeah, dinner tonight.
So, I was thinking,
we could do steaks again.
But have y'all been to Souplantation?
It's not just soup.
They got this big ol' baked potato bar.
Put some bacon, chives,
sour cream on that thing.
Fire, right?
No, that is closed since pandemic.
Yeah, yeah, we're going to Mastro's, dude.
I need that Wagyu
and that bomb-ass butter cake.
So, uh, cha-ching!
Swipe, swipe, swipe!
Swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe!
Sandy?
Sandy, is that you?
I can hear you sneaking around out there.
Sandy, could you come in here, please?
-Ugh, Ness.
-What?
God, what the hell?
It's like you've been in here for months.
What is… It stinks!
Did you get In-N-Out and McDonald's?
Yeah, I wanted an In-N-Out burger,
but everybody knows
McDonald's fries are better.
This is pathetic.
And my Tom Ford coffee table book
is not a tray.
God! And what is that smell?
Yeah, I've got to see a doctor.
Okay, I am just gonna go to the gym.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
What's the plan tonight?
We are gonna do what we do every night,
which is our separate thing.
What? I moved in here
so we could spend some time together.
N-- To be clear, you are staying here
because your wife kicked you out.
You did not move in.
I thought the one good thing that could
come of this was hanging with brother.
You know what?
I'll just put some vodka in my Frosty
and drink myself to death.
Jesus, you got Wendy's too?
-Mm-hmm.
-Oh my God. Okay, fine.
Fine.
-We can hang out.
-Oh yes.
All right? But we are going to do
what I had planned on doing.
Anything you want. Anything.
Can I choose dinner?
I'm thinking we go Taco Bell
and then hit Cinnabon on the way home.
You have to eat a vegetable.
Isla.
Charles Tracey,
from the fancy-ass Boston Traceys.
They're so blue-blood,
they got here before the Mayflower.
Fuck Boston.
I'm Charles.
Hi, Charles.
Can I call you Charlie or Chuck?
-No.
-Cool.
I'm sorry to hear about your dad.
Yeah, thanks.
He was, uh… far from perfect.
I know exactly what you mean.
Yeah, nepo recognize nepo.
Eh. You're classy old money.
I mean, you guys built a wing at the Met.
The only charity
my dad ever gave to was lung cancer,
and that's after he got it.
Well, it sounds like you're about
to get some more new money.
-I heard about the Hoopli deal.
-I don't know what you're talking about.
Frank told me all about it last night,
bragging about
how it'll screw the rest of us.
It's a way to reward the bigger markets
for, frankly, bringing in more viewers.
Oh, you'll get more viewers,
and we'll lose 'em.
Almost 20% in the first two years,
by our research.
And then, a year or two after that,
we'll just have a two-tiered league with
a few super teams and poverty franchises.
There's a lot of people
who worked really hard at this.
And it's a big deal for me personally.
I get it.
You've got to do what you think is right.
Well, no hard feelings.
If I were you, I'd do the same.
Absolutely. Really nice to talk to you.
-Hey, can I call you Chucko?
-Nope.
Hey, what's up?
Can you send me the earnings reports
from the league's TV deals
in the past 10 years?
I'm supposed to sign this Hoopli deal,
but something isn't sitting right with me.
Sending all the reports to you now.
This seems like a lot of work for someone
who should be heading back to LA
in a few hours for Milton's Doljanchi.
Don't worry. I will be at that thing
that I can't pronounce.
I discussed it with my family.
Believe it or not, for my first child…
These people are so hard to understand.
They're British.
They're speaking English.
Can we just watch quietly?
My father put a stop to it…
-Real quick, who's that guy?
-Tony Blair. He's the Prime Minister.
-Okay.
-…and where to draw the line…
You know who's a good Tony?
Tony Stark. Have you seen Iron Man?
-Yes.
-Have you seen Iron Man 2?
Yes, seen 'em all.
-Tony Soprano. Did you see The Sopranos?
-Mm-hmm.
-Yep.
-It's amazing.
Tony Danza. Charles in Charge.
That's Who's the Boss?
Listen, watching my shows
is my way of decompressing
after an incredibly stressful day at work,
all right?
So, could you just do me a favor
and not talk for the next 43 minutes?
Yeah. No problem.
…Ruritanian titles…
Is that the same guy or a different guy?
Oh my God, you are so annoying.
You are literally incapable
of not being disruptive and obnoxious.
I get why Bituin kicked you out.
Look at you.
This is insane.
…is the Crown.
The spell recast…
Look, I didn't mean that.
-No. No.
-Last part was a little tough.
I get it. You're right.
-No.
-No, I suck, okay?
I don't get prestige television,
and Bituin was right to kick me out.
Ah, easy. That's…
I'm taking it with me.
Maybe I will go to The Peninsula
and see if I can fly!
- Will there be anything else?
- Uh, yeah, we're good.
You can just drop it off
with that sad-looking teenager over there.
- The check, sir.
- Thanks, rookie.
-I told you you were up next.
-Ooh.
$32,000?
I think there might be a decimal error
or something.
Oh, uh, you're right, sir.
This is not correct.
It doesn't include the valet
and coat check.
Who checked coats? It's LA.
I wore a parka. I cannot get sniffles.
Oh, hey, garçon, don't close that out
'cause we need a bottle of vintage Dom
for Marcus Winfield in the house.
No, no, no, no, no, no,
check's already closed.
Run-- Run the card. Run the card.
Man, put that flimsy-ass debit card away.
Hey, hey, man.
Rookie's gotta pay. It's part of the fun.
Yes, we enjoy
watching the young ones suffer.
Wait, Marcus, you're buying?
What?
When I was a rookie,
I had to take the team to French Laundry.
That shit was transcendent,
don't get me wrong, but pricey as hell.
Yeah, we not doing that no more.
Can't you see how broke this brother is?
He's on the scrub league.
Got no endorsements, no girls,
and drives a Prius with a Lyft sticker on.
I-- I bought it used.
I can't-- I can't get it off.
Look,
the rest of you guys got money.
Bo, you own a Formula One team.
-Travis, you bought that alligator farm.
-Yeah.
Badrag, you're wearing
Michael Jackson's "Beat It" jacket.
From now on,
everyone pays for their own dinner.
I'mma drop my card this time…
'cause I want the SkyMiles,
but you better cash-app me 3K each,
or it's your ass.
What?
Except you. I got you.
I could chip in. I don't mind.
Negro, don't you live in Bakersfield?
I do.
Now, where that champagne at?
Hey, Bituin. Been too long.
You are slaying that lob, Mama.
Mm-mm. Don't do that gay bestie thing.
We don't have that kind of rapport.
-Right.
-What do you want?
I need you to take Ness back,
or I may kill him.
Also, I have come to realize
that you are a saint.
No shit.
Come in.
I know you're mad at Ness
for not investing in your new business,
but if you take him back,
I will personally give you seed money
for your MILF undies.
It is "Mom Thongs by B."
-I'm sorry.
-But I didn't kick him out for that.
-Is it your trainer?
-No, it's not Reginald.
Ness and I were at dinner,
and he got a call from you.
I've asked him to turn his phone off
during meals, but he never does.
He spends more time texting you and Isla
than he does talking to his own wife.
Well, it is a family business.
I am his family.
When I gave birth to Mani,
guess where he was?
In the hallway, on his AirPods,
while Cam screamed at him
about the whole salary cap.
To be fair, that is the price you pay
when you marry into a rich, famous family.
Please. My family in Manila
is way richer than yours.
I had three women whose only job
was to get me dressed in the morning.
Sorry, and you left all that for Ness?
Yes. He is my person.
And all I want is
an occasional uninterrupted dinner.
Or like an hour for us
to watch The Golden Bachelor
because it's the only show
that doesn't confuse him.
Yeah, he really does struggle
with scripted television.
Seriously.
The light in people's faces
when they look at you makes me realize
I'm the luckiest man in the world.
We're the luckiest family in the world.
Hello?
Hello? Anyone here?
Not tonight, Dahmer.
Please, please stop!
I'm Charlie. I'm Sandy's boyfriend!
What?
Thanks for meeting me.
What if I were to tell you
that I was considering alternatives
to the Hoopli deal,
something more equitable for everyone?
Then I'd tell you
that the smaller market owners
would love to hear what you're thinking.
Right, because if I were
to negotiate a league-wide TV contract…
You'd need at least
two-thirds majority to agree.
Hypothetically.
At the end of the day,
I want what's best for all of us.
Parity is what makes this league great.
A competitive league means great ratings.
Now, I know we haven't
worked together before,
but trust me, I get down and dirty…
in negotiations.
Everyone on an equal footing, it's how
we're all gonna win moving forward.
Yes!
Oh no, no, no!
-So, you guys in?
-Yeah.
Great! I'll make a phone call.
Do you mind looking away so I can get out?
Because they only had
kid-sized bathing suits in the gift shop.
Oh man.
I had no idea
that Sandy was seeing somebody.
Are you serious?
We've been dating for a year.
A year?!
Well-- Well-- Well, you know what?
Now that I think about it,
he-- he did mention his boyfriend.
He can't shut up about you.
He's always talking about your chin
and… ears.
Please, please stop.
Wow. I, uh, can't believe
he's kept me a secret.
He's met my family, he's met my friends,
he's met my favorite pug.
I'm a dog groomer,
not that you would know that.
I'm sorry, man.
You seem like a really good guy.
I'll definitely tell him you stopped by
and that he has a lot of explaining to do
to both of us.
You know what?
Please don't tell him that I was here.
It's too embarrassing.
Sorry. Oh shit.
-What?
-It's Sandy.
Hey, Sandman. What's up?
Just hanging out alone, jerking it.
Uh, well, please stop.
Look, I talked to Bituin.
She's gonna take you back.
What? Yes!
Oh my God, thank you.
Oh my God.
I'm not gonna lose the love of my life.
I am not gonna be alone.
God, it was good to meet you, man.
Good luck with your shit.
I got to go pack.
Whoo!
What time you got?
-Hi.
-Where the hell you been?
We've been trying
to close this deal all night.
What's the holdup?
Uh, Isla, my PR team drafted the release.
We just need your sign-off.
The Waves will not be signing with Hoopli
because I found a better deal
for the entire league.
What? What the fuck are you talking about?
I looked into the Hoopli deal. It'll kill
all smaller teams and eventually hurt us.
This was not the plan, Isla.
I know, but I just got off the phone
with Dennis Haynes at ESPN,
and we have a deal,
a deal that will benefit all teams equally
because it's not always
about the money, right?
Of course it is.
How do you think I became a billionaire?
Well, I'm sorry about the Hoopli deal.
You will thank me one day.
Now, if you will excuse me,
I have a Doljanchi to get to.
It's a rite of passage
for little Korean babies.
But her tune cannot be broken ♪
Causes former clouds to drown ♪
In her sky ♪
And when tomorrow comes around ♪
The road will be wide open ♪
Straight through and unwound ♪
Hey, listen. We can't bother Ness
from 9 to 10 every night.
He and Bituin need their private time.
And we'll be coming on out
Of the empty spaces ♪
Baby ♪
Hey, I miss you.
Testing negative.
You wanna come over
for sushi and Bake Off?
Where is she?
-Gene, not now.
-Sorry.
So, I see your white friend
hasn't arrived.
It's getting late. We want Milty to do his
thing before the grandparents get drunk.
Look, Isla will be here.
Just let me hold Milton.
Basketball Karen isn't coming.
Over my dead body.
Sorry I'm late.
There's an Audi in my parking spot.
Oh my God. I love you. This means so much.
I'm happy I don't have to murder you.
Oh God, I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Now, where's that fat baby?
- Hi.
- Gene!
- Are you ready?
- Oh!
Milty! Milty!
Ooh!
Ooh, look how green…
Oh,
you don't want this silly ball.
What's this?
Look at this. This is pretty money.
Oh, look, look!
He's gonna be an investment banker!
How do you say "short game" in Korean?
This is a historic moment.
-Which is to say, going forward…
-Sorry, can you turn this up?
…that we are very pleased to announce
that the San Francisco, Chicago,
New York, and Boston teams
-will unite in a landmark deal…
-What the hell?
…to create our own exclusive
new streaming service called Hoopli.
So excited that the Big Four
have come together
to give the fans what they want.
Finally!
Oh, fuck Boston.
-Party don't start till I walk in ♪
-Yeah ♪
Honeys turn around
They all talkin' ♪
I'm the man with the most
And I do what I'm posed to ♪
Around the globe
I kill it coast to coast ♪
-Whoo! ♪
-Yeah, yeah! ♪
Hands up one time ♪
I'll rock the party and blow your mind ♪
So slide and move
Like Milly, just rock to the groove ♪
Rock! ♪
-One time, put 'em up for me ♪
-Yeah! ♪
-Two times, keep 'em up for me ♪
-Yeah! ♪
Three times, stay up for me ♪
Jump up
And get loo-- loo-- loose with me ♪
Put your hands in the air! ♪
Put your hands in the air! ♪
Pick it up, pick it up ♪
Pick it up, pick it up ♪
Put your hands in the air! ♪
Put your hands in the air! ♪
Everybody, don't stop ♪
Everybody, don't stop ♪
Put your hands in the air! ♪
Put your hands in the air! ♪
Pick it up, pick it up ♪
Pick it up, pick it up ♪
Put your hands in the air! ♪
Put your hands in the air! ♪
Pick it up, pick it up ♪
Pick it up, pick it up ♪
Is it offensive if I say
I feel like a Korean princess?
Yes, people would be offended.
It is so nice of you to do this
for your husband and your in-laws.
I kind of had to. They're still mad
that Gene didn't marry a Korean,
but at least I'm not white. No offense.
And, seriously, thank you so much
for doing Milton's Doljanchi.
And thanks for hosting it at the facility.
My in-laws love basketball and wealth.
Look, I know it's not
as glamorous as you're used to,
but there will be
a signature cocktail, the Miltini.
As his godmother, it is my honor.
Now, what is it?
The Doljanchi is a rite of passage
on a Korean baby's first birthday.
I mean, you would've been to Michael's,
but you and Lev were at Coachella.
Okay, it was to see Kanye.
I mean, before… Obviously.
Look, I know you have
that owners' conference,
but if you don't show up,
Gene's sister gets to hold Milton,
and I can't stand her.
You know, she drives an Audi
and also wears Audi clothes.
It's her whole personality.
Hey, I know you hate Grace.
-I will be there.
-Thank you.
Time’s up, this a late fee ♪
Hand over your savings ♪
So, owners' conference is tomorrow.
How are you feeling?
Oh, I mean, can't wait.
I mean, Dad was a legend at these things.
It's where he did some of his
biggest deals and rigged the '88 draft.
I'm not talking about that.
I'm talking about the Hoopli deal.
Hoopli is a new streaming app
for exclusive content
from the four biggest markets
in the league.
I'm talking LA, New York,
Chicago, and San Francisco.
These four teams drive the majority
of basketball viewership.
Our ratings are more than
the rest of the league combined,
but that's never been reflected
in the ad revenue we see.
Until now.
Hoopli will televise
our games exclusively,
and the Big Four gets to keep the profits.
It's gonna make us a shit ton of money,
which would be nice
because it has been an expensive year.
Those Dutch tourists that Cam ran over
are shopping their life rights.
You'll meet with the New York,
Chicago and San Francisco owners
and sign the deal.
-They want to announce it tomorrow.
-How do the smaller teams feel about this?
Oh, they don't know about it yet.
Oh, is that cool?
Well, uh, don't worry about them.
It's their fault for being from,
like, Rhode Island, or whatever.
Do you need me to join you?
Did you join Cam or Dad?
No, but that's because
they liked doing drugs and prostitutes.
Well, I can go to meetings
and sign papers.
I'm just like them,
except I won't do either of those things.
Might have a Xani on the plane.
It's a 45-minute flight to Phoenix.
Ness!
-What the hell?
-Oh my God. What time is it?
You just missed a huge meeting.
Did you sleep here?
And why are your underwear so small?
They're European cut.
Can you tell me what's going on
before I throw up?
Bituin kicked me out.
Did she leave you for her trainer?
I get that. I get it.
What? No. I'm as hot as Reginald.
We're both nines.
Okay, you have to put some pants on.
-Right.
-So, what happened?
I don't know. We were out at dinner,
and she started pitching me
one of her businesses.
"Thongs for Moms."
She said it's an underserved market,
but I've financed so many of her ideas,
and none of them make money.
Anyway, I step away to take a call,
and then I come back to the table,
and the busboy says,
"Your wife has left,
and you're no longer welcome at home."
So I'm gonna have to crash with you.
No. No, you don't have to crash with me.
You have to crash at The Peninsula
like every other rich guy
with marital problems.
Sandy, I should not
be alone right now, okay?
I could just picture myself
on some hotel balcony,
wondering what it's like
if a 210-pound man comes crashing down
on the roof of a Maserati.
That'd be on you.
That is so manipulative.
Hmm.
Fine. You can stay in my guest room.
Oh yes!
Thank you. I need this.
What you need is some mouthwash.
Oh my God.
Hey, I was just thinking about you.
You know, I can't wait to jump back
into The Crown tonight.
Hey, did I tell you I heard the corgis
kept biting Dominic West on set?
It was all over DeuxMoi.
About that, um…
I have to cancel.
I have COVID.
Oh my God. Uh, okay, well then
I'm coming over to take care of you.
No, no.
Uh, there's a really bad strain
going around.
Um, I hear even Joe Rogan's masking up.
Are you sure?
Yeah, yeah, don't come over.
I love you. I'm gonna call you
as soon as I'm feeling better, okay?
Well, we did it, boys.
- Yeah.
- Dom, Henny, potatoes lyonnaise.
Hey, you know what, y'all?
Since I'm feeling generous,
this one's on me.
Thanks, Trav.
Psyche!
Let's see. Whose turn is it?
Tradition is, rookie has to pay.
- Okay.
- Thompson?
No, no, you had the last one.
Wait a minute.
Victor, you haven't gone yet.
Dinner's on you, rookie.
Ooh!
Twenty-five stacks? Damn.
Twenty-five thousand dollars?
Thank God
for first-round signing bonuses, right?
Oh wait, you ain't get one of those.
Hey, you're next, D-League. Ooh!
-Hi, uh, is Ms. Gordon around?
-Nope, she's in Phoenix for a conference.
Oh, okay.
-Uh, could I have her cell or something?
-Not giving you that. What do you need?
Could you maybe tell me
ballpark how much I make?
Uh, yeah, sure.
Let's see… For a rookie call-up
non-guaranteed deal…
Uh, $55,000.
Damn, my kid's preschool's more than that.
Oh, could I get an advance?
Like, maybe all of it in one lump sum?
By dinner, if possible?
I'm sorry, Dyson,
but we're not Wells Fargo.
No, they were much ruder to me
when I called them.
What about a loan?
We used to do that with players,
but it's a slippery slope.
It starts off with a mortgage payment,
then we're paying for your mistress' BBL.
Sorry. Is everything okay?
Not really.
The owners' conference, baby.
Time to step up, sign that deal,
and announce to the world
that Isla Gordon has arrived.
Nothing can stop me from…
…shrimp tail.
Shrimp tail.
That was a shrimp tail.
Did you just eat garbage?
I did that my first time here too.
Malkeet Dasari,
San Francisco owner.
Made billions in tech.
He said he will
eliminate homelessness by 2030.
Not sure how that's possible,
but he's got an incredible head of hair.
Isla Gordon,
you make a hell of an entrance.
Malkeet, so nice to finally meet you.
I love what you're doing in San Francisco.
I-- I hate the homeless…
problem, you know?
-Ugh, it sucks.
-Mmm.
I know, and I was pleased to hear
that you got your start in charities.
You know, when I made my fifth billion,
a man told me it's not about
how much money you have,
it's about who you help.
It was Bono.
Who let that Gordon kid in here?
I'm just joking.
Irv Plotkin from Chicago.
Made his fortune in deli meats.
Good friend of my dad's.
He had a heart attack at my Sweet 16.
-Isla Gordon.
-Aw!
-Really good to see you.
-You too, sweetie.
The last time I saw you,
I had my old heart.
-Yeah, this one belonged to a pig.
-Oh.
And get this,
since the operation, I can't eat pork.
I mean, I still eat ribs.
-Oh, you gotta eat ribs.
-Yeah, yeah.
Oh, and I was so sad to hear about Cam.
-Yeah.
-All my boys have been through rehab.
Two for booze,
one for an addiction to anime porn.
Whatever the hell that is.
Irv, no one wants to hear
about your wacko son.
Ugh! Frank Shaughnessy.
Even for a New York City slumlord,
he's a real piece of shit.
But I can put that aside.
This is business.
-Isla, how are you, honey?
-Hi.
Hey, Frank.
Ooh, it's not very awake of me to say,
but you are one tight package.
And you're not young, neither.
-Thank you.
-Hey, Malkeet. How are you?
Take that as a compliment, I guess?
All right, so now that we're through
jerking each other off,
can we talk Hoopli?
Hmm? Because I want
this press release out tonight
so I can bend Irv over
on the golf course in the morning.
- Unless I bend you over first. And I will!
- Oh!
So good!
Assault!
Yes, um, I need
a significant credit line increase.
- Uh, from $1,000 to $50,000?
- Yeah, we can do that.
-What are the terms?
-A 37% interest rate.
37% interest? That seems really high.
-No, it's not high.
-Oh, it's not?
Hey, yo. Remember, we're going to dinner
at Mastro's tonight on Dyson.
Yeah, we got the paperless post.
Why you reiterate our plans all the time?
I got ADHD, bitch.
Yeah, dinner tonight.
So, I was thinking,
we could do steaks again.
But have y'all been to Souplantation?
It's not just soup.
They got this big ol' baked potato bar.
Put some bacon, chives,
sour cream on that thing.
Fire, right?
No, that is closed since pandemic.
Yeah, yeah, we're going to Mastro's, dude.
I need that Wagyu
and that bomb-ass butter cake.
So, uh, cha-ching!
Swipe, swipe, swipe!
Swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe!
Sandy?
Sandy, is that you?
I can hear you sneaking around out there.
Sandy, could you come in here, please?
-Ugh, Ness.
-What?
God, what the hell?
It's like you've been in here for months.
What is… It stinks!
Did you get In-N-Out and McDonald's?
Yeah, I wanted an In-N-Out burger,
but everybody knows
McDonald's fries are better.
This is pathetic.
And my Tom Ford coffee table book
is not a tray.
God! And what is that smell?
Yeah, I've got to see a doctor.
Okay, I am just gonna go to the gym.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
What's the plan tonight?
We are gonna do what we do every night,
which is our separate thing.
What? I moved in here
so we could spend some time together.
N-- To be clear, you are staying here
because your wife kicked you out.
You did not move in.
I thought the one good thing that could
come of this was hanging with brother.
You know what?
I'll just put some vodka in my Frosty
and drink myself to death.
Jesus, you got Wendy's too?
-Mm-hmm.
-Oh my God. Okay, fine.
Fine.
-We can hang out.
-Oh yes.
All right? But we are going to do
what I had planned on doing.
Anything you want. Anything.
Can I choose dinner?
I'm thinking we go Taco Bell
and then hit Cinnabon on the way home.
You have to eat a vegetable.
Isla.
Charles Tracey,
from the fancy-ass Boston Traceys.
They're so blue-blood,
they got here before the Mayflower.
Fuck Boston.
I'm Charles.
Hi, Charles.
Can I call you Charlie or Chuck?
-No.
-Cool.
I'm sorry to hear about your dad.
Yeah, thanks.
He was, uh… far from perfect.
I know exactly what you mean.
Yeah, nepo recognize nepo.
Eh. You're classy old money.
I mean, you guys built a wing at the Met.
The only charity
my dad ever gave to was lung cancer,
and that's after he got it.
Well, it sounds like you're about
to get some more new money.
-I heard about the Hoopli deal.
-I don't know what you're talking about.
Frank told me all about it last night,
bragging about
how it'll screw the rest of us.
It's a way to reward the bigger markets
for, frankly, bringing in more viewers.
Oh, you'll get more viewers,
and we'll lose 'em.
Almost 20% in the first two years,
by our research.
And then, a year or two after that,
we'll just have a two-tiered league with
a few super teams and poverty franchises.
There's a lot of people
who worked really hard at this.
And it's a big deal for me personally.
I get it.
You've got to do what you think is right.
Well, no hard feelings.
If I were you, I'd do the same.
Absolutely. Really nice to talk to you.
-Hey, can I call you Chucko?
-Nope.
Hey, what's up?
Can you send me the earnings reports
from the league's TV deals
in the past 10 years?
I'm supposed to sign this Hoopli deal,
but something isn't sitting right with me.
Sending all the reports to you now.
This seems like a lot of work for someone
who should be heading back to LA
in a few hours for Milton's Doljanchi.
Don't worry. I will be at that thing
that I can't pronounce.
I discussed it with my family.
Believe it or not, for my first child…
These people are so hard to understand.
They're British.
They're speaking English.
Can we just watch quietly?
My father put a stop to it…
-Real quick, who's that guy?
-Tony Blair. He's the Prime Minister.
-Okay.
-…and where to draw the line…
You know who's a good Tony?
Tony Stark. Have you seen Iron Man?
-Yes.
-Have you seen Iron Man 2?
Yes, seen 'em all.
-Tony Soprano. Did you see The Sopranos?
-Mm-hmm.
-Yep.
-It's amazing.
Tony Danza. Charles in Charge.
That's Who's the Boss?
Listen, watching my shows
is my way of decompressing
after an incredibly stressful day at work,
all right?
So, could you just do me a favor
and not talk for the next 43 minutes?
Yeah. No problem.
…Ruritanian titles…
Is that the same guy or a different guy?
Oh my God, you are so annoying.
You are literally incapable
of not being disruptive and obnoxious.
I get why Bituin kicked you out.
Look at you.
This is insane.
…is the Crown.
The spell recast…
Look, I didn't mean that.
-No. No.
-Last part was a little tough.
I get it. You're right.
-No.
-No, I suck, okay?
I don't get prestige television,
and Bituin was right to kick me out.
Ah, easy. That's…
I'm taking it with me.
Maybe I will go to The Peninsula
and see if I can fly!
- Will there be anything else?
- Uh, yeah, we're good.
You can just drop it off
with that sad-looking teenager over there.
- The check, sir.
- Thanks, rookie.
-I told you you were up next.
-Ooh.
$32,000?
I think there might be a decimal error
or something.
Oh, uh, you're right, sir.
This is not correct.
It doesn't include the valet
and coat check.
Who checked coats? It's LA.
I wore a parka. I cannot get sniffles.
Oh, hey, garçon, don't close that out
'cause we need a bottle of vintage Dom
for Marcus Winfield in the house.
No, no, no, no, no, no,
check's already closed.
Run-- Run the card. Run the card.
Man, put that flimsy-ass debit card away.
Hey, hey, man.
Rookie's gotta pay. It's part of the fun.
Yes, we enjoy
watching the young ones suffer.
Wait, Marcus, you're buying?
What?
When I was a rookie,
I had to take the team to French Laundry.
That shit was transcendent,
don't get me wrong, but pricey as hell.
Yeah, we not doing that no more.
Can't you see how broke this brother is?
He's on the scrub league.
Got no endorsements, no girls,
and drives a Prius with a Lyft sticker on.
I-- I bought it used.
I can't-- I can't get it off.
Look,
the rest of you guys got money.
Bo, you own a Formula One team.
-Travis, you bought that alligator farm.
-Yeah.
Badrag, you're wearing
Michael Jackson's "Beat It" jacket.
From now on,
everyone pays for their own dinner.
I'mma drop my card this time…
'cause I want the SkyMiles,
but you better cash-app me 3K each,
or it's your ass.
What?
Except you. I got you.
I could chip in. I don't mind.
Negro, don't you live in Bakersfield?
I do.
Now, where that champagne at?
Hey, Bituin. Been too long.
You are slaying that lob, Mama.
Mm-mm. Don't do that gay bestie thing.
We don't have that kind of rapport.
-Right.
-What do you want?
I need you to take Ness back,
or I may kill him.
Also, I have come to realize
that you are a saint.
No shit.
Come in.
I know you're mad at Ness
for not investing in your new business,
but if you take him back,
I will personally give you seed money
for your MILF undies.
It is "Mom Thongs by B."
-I'm sorry.
-But I didn't kick him out for that.
-Is it your trainer?
-No, it's not Reginald.
Ness and I were at dinner,
and he got a call from you.
I've asked him to turn his phone off
during meals, but he never does.
He spends more time texting you and Isla
than he does talking to his own wife.
Well, it is a family business.
I am his family.
When I gave birth to Mani,
guess where he was?
In the hallway, on his AirPods,
while Cam screamed at him
about the whole salary cap.
To be fair, that is the price you pay
when you marry into a rich, famous family.
Please. My family in Manila
is way richer than yours.
I had three women whose only job
was to get me dressed in the morning.
Sorry, and you left all that for Ness?
Yes. He is my person.
And all I want is
an occasional uninterrupted dinner.
Or like an hour for us
to watch The Golden Bachelor
because it's the only show
that doesn't confuse him.
Yeah, he really does struggle
with scripted television.
Seriously.
The light in people's faces
when they look at you makes me realize
I'm the luckiest man in the world.
We're the luckiest family in the world.
Hello?
Hello? Anyone here?
Not tonight, Dahmer.
Please, please stop!
I'm Charlie. I'm Sandy's boyfriend!
What?
Thanks for meeting me.
What if I were to tell you
that I was considering alternatives
to the Hoopli deal,
something more equitable for everyone?
Then I'd tell you
that the smaller market owners
would love to hear what you're thinking.
Right, because if I were
to negotiate a league-wide TV contract…
You'd need at least
two-thirds majority to agree.
Hypothetically.
At the end of the day,
I want what's best for all of us.
Parity is what makes this league great.
A competitive league means great ratings.
Now, I know we haven't
worked together before,
but trust me, I get down and dirty…
in negotiations.
Everyone on an equal footing, it's how
we're all gonna win moving forward.
Yes!
Oh no, no, no!
-So, you guys in?
-Yeah.
Great! I'll make a phone call.
Do you mind looking away so I can get out?
Because they only had
kid-sized bathing suits in the gift shop.
Oh man.
I had no idea
that Sandy was seeing somebody.
Are you serious?
We've been dating for a year.
A year?!
Well-- Well-- Well, you know what?
Now that I think about it,
he-- he did mention his boyfriend.
He can't shut up about you.
He's always talking about your chin
and… ears.
Please, please stop.
Wow. I, uh, can't believe
he's kept me a secret.
He's met my family, he's met my friends,
he's met my favorite pug.
I'm a dog groomer,
not that you would know that.
I'm sorry, man.
You seem like a really good guy.
I'll definitely tell him you stopped by
and that he has a lot of explaining to do
to both of us.
You know what?
Please don't tell him that I was here.
It's too embarrassing.
Sorry. Oh shit.
-What?
-It's Sandy.
Hey, Sandman. What's up?
Just hanging out alone, jerking it.
Uh, well, please stop.
Look, I talked to Bituin.
She's gonna take you back.
What? Yes!
Oh my God, thank you.
Oh my God.
I'm not gonna lose the love of my life.
I am not gonna be alone.
God, it was good to meet you, man.
Good luck with your shit.
I got to go pack.
Whoo!
What time you got?
-Hi.
-Where the hell you been?
We've been trying
to close this deal all night.
What's the holdup?
Uh, Isla, my PR team drafted the release.
We just need your sign-off.
The Waves will not be signing with Hoopli
because I found a better deal
for the entire league.
What? What the fuck are you talking about?
I looked into the Hoopli deal. It'll kill
all smaller teams and eventually hurt us.
This was not the plan, Isla.
I know, but I just got off the phone
with Dennis Haynes at ESPN,
and we have a deal,
a deal that will benefit all teams equally
because it's not always
about the money, right?
Of course it is.
How do you think I became a billionaire?
Well, I'm sorry about the Hoopli deal.
You will thank me one day.
Now, if you will excuse me,
I have a Doljanchi to get to.
It's a rite of passage
for little Korean babies.
But her tune cannot be broken ♪
Causes former clouds to drown ♪
In her sky ♪
And when tomorrow comes around ♪
The road will be wide open ♪
Straight through and unwound ♪
Hey, listen. We can't bother Ness
from 9 to 10 every night.
He and Bituin need their private time.
And we'll be coming on out
Of the empty spaces ♪
Baby ♪
Hey, I miss you.
Testing negative.
You wanna come over
for sushi and Bake Off?
Where is she?
-Gene, not now.
-Sorry.
So, I see your white friend
hasn't arrived.
It's getting late. We want Milty to do his
thing before the grandparents get drunk.
Look, Isla will be here.
Just let me hold Milton.
Basketball Karen isn't coming.
Over my dead body.
Sorry I'm late.
There's an Audi in my parking spot.
Oh my God. I love you. This means so much.
I'm happy I don't have to murder you.
Oh God, I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Now, where's that fat baby?
- Hi.
- Gene!
- Are you ready?
- Oh!
Milty! Milty!
Ooh!
Ooh, look how green…
Oh,
you don't want this silly ball.
What's this?
Look at this. This is pretty money.
Oh, look, look!
He's gonna be an investment banker!
How do you say "short game" in Korean?
This is a historic moment.
-Which is to say, going forward…
-Sorry, can you turn this up?
…that we are very pleased to announce
that the San Francisco, Chicago,
New York, and Boston teams
-will unite in a landmark deal…
-What the hell?
…to create our own exclusive
new streaming service called Hoopli.
So excited that the Big Four
have come together
to give the fans what they want.
Finally!
Oh, fuck Boston.
-Party don't start till I walk in ♪
-Yeah ♪
Honeys turn around
They all talkin' ♪
I'm the man with the most
And I do what I'm posed to ♪
Around the globe
I kill it coast to coast ♪
-Whoo! ♪
-Yeah, yeah! ♪
Hands up one time ♪
I'll rock the party and blow your mind ♪
So slide and move
Like Milly, just rock to the groove ♪
Rock! ♪
-One time, put 'em up for me ♪
-Yeah! ♪
-Two times, keep 'em up for me ♪
-Yeah! ♪
Three times, stay up for me ♪
Jump up
And get loo-- loo-- loose with me ♪
Put your hands in the air! ♪
Put your hands in the air! ♪
Pick it up, pick it up ♪
Pick it up, pick it up ♪
Put your hands in the air! ♪
Put your hands in the air! ♪
Everybody, don't stop ♪
Everybody, don't stop ♪
Put your hands in the air! ♪
Put your hands in the air! ♪
Pick it up, pick it up ♪
Pick it up, pick it up ♪
Put your hands in the air! ♪
Put your hands in the air! ♪
Pick it up, pick it up ♪
Pick it up, pick it up ♪