Scarecrow and Mrs. King (1983) s01e04 Episode Script
Magic Bus
GORDON: Anything yet? - Uh, negative.
So it'd be quite a haul.
- He's on the way.
- All right.
Get him.
Get out.
All the water or you're a dead man.
BILLY: Congressman Fremont, the guard we have placed around the plant must make you feel secure.
- The congressman never feels secure.
He is, after all, on the arms appropriations committee.
You must feel satisfied the committee supported development of this weapon.
The congressman never feels satisfied.
His job is awesome but his spirit is tireless.
BILLY: Well, he needn't worry anymore.
Lee Stetson has proved his driving skills at Le Mans and Monaco.
He'll take care of the TWU.
FRANCINE: What does TWU stand for? HOLT: Total Weaponry Unit.
It took five years to develop, $90 million to produce.
And 235 man hours to push it through Congress.
And now the TWU stands ready to take its place beside the Polaris sub, the B-52, and the Titan.
Gentlemen, lady, I give you The Vigilant.
What? Awesome, isn't it? It's so computerized, a baby could drive it.
What Teflon did for pots, The Vigilant will do for battle.
Ooh.
Oh, just what I like.
A war you can throw at a minute's notice with no messy cleanup.
FREMONT: Let's go inside.
Now wait till you see her in action.
Excuse me.
Hi, there.
Welcome to a whole new world in weapons.
Yes, this is the fully computerized Vigilant, Total Weaponry Unit.
Is that a bazooka ahead? No problem.
This thick-skinned beauty is a fortress on tires.
She can fire over a thousand rounds per minute and launch multi-targeted missiles.
Mob control? You bet.
Global communications, tactical planning? Sure.
So for combat you can count on, look to this plain-looking little van that can move unobtrusively from one hot spot to the next.
Yes, The Vigilant gives brand new meaning to the word "assault.
" You have just seen the weapon of the future.
And it's ours.
- John Paul Jones? - We're related.
I wanted The Vigilant to have a mascot.
LEE: Uh Well, this is all All very nice, but what exactly do you want me to do with it? Drive it 3000 miles cross-country to Arizona where in three days The Vigilant will be unveiled for the military congressional top brass, as well as the press.
Well, couldn't you just ship the thing? It would save on the wear and tear.
We need the tightest security possible.
We'll send the mock-up by air and no one will know you're driving the real one across-country.
I want you to roll onto that proving ground and, without stopping, demolish a town.
- What? - Oh, not a real town.
We built one.
It just seems to me that in 3000 miles the opportunity for sabotage are enormous.
Uh That's precisely why you'll rendezvous with an undercover escort.
And your time and place of departure will be kept secret.
- Aren't we leaving from here? - The mock-up will.
Hopefully, anybody watching will follow it.
Yeah, but where will the real bus be? In a place so innocent and ordinary that no one would ever expect to find a classified military weapon.
AMANDA: Philip, are you almost through? Dean's gonna call and I wanna thank him for letting you play football in your good pants.
Okay, I'll talk to you later.
Bye.
- Okay, I'm off.
AMANDA: Thank you, sweetheart.
Look, take these, go put them in the washer put about a cup and a half of this stuff.
[PHONE RINGS.]
PHILIP: Hello? Yes she is.
- Jamie, put the ice cream back.
PHILIP: Is this Dean? - He says, "Not in a thousand years.
" - Here.
Pants, washer, go now.
Scoot.
Hello, is this who I think it is? - Well, who do you think it is? - Look, you cannot call here.
Real people live here and they won't understand you.
- Look, we need a little favor.
- Favor? LEE: This was Billy's idea.
- Well, what kind of favor? Uh, actually, it's not for Billy so much as it is for the country.
Oh, lord, I hate pruning.
Amanda, dear, Herb from Herb's Cars is here with that RV that you're buying.
Oh.
- What? - Uh-oh.
They beat me to it.
I have been trying to call you.
It's a secret vehicle.
We'll be leaving very early with it, so don't worry.
There will be guards on the street all night.
We really appreciate you doing this.
Thanks.
Oh, no.
[SIGHS.]
GORDON: Why are you phoning me here? HOLT [O VER PHONE.]
: The plans have changed.
They won't be leaving from the plant.
We can handle it.
Go on.
MAN [ON RADIO.]
: It's 5:30 a.
m.
In Washington and a crisp 49 degrees outside.
Picnic lunch for a spy.
I don't know why I bother.
He'll never appreciate it.
[ENGINE STARTS NEARBY.]
[LINE RINGING.]
WOMAN [O VER PHONE.]
: 5583.
Uh, hello, hello.
Um, I need to talk to someone there.
GORDON [ON RADIO.]
: And so, Congressman Fremont what we do is for a noble cause.
We are patient people, reasonable people but we will not let our brothers rot in jail, persecuted for doing their patriotic duty.
You have 72 hours.
Awake America, you are a sleeping giant, and soon Goliath will fall.
We will return The Vigilant when you return Gary and Gertrude the Stewed Tomato Two.
The Stewed Tomato Two? That's all he said, then he hung up.
Who are these people? FRANCINE: It's a group calling themselves the Survivors.
They insist America has become too soft and we aren't prepared should disaster strike.
They put out a newsletter called America Alert urging their followers to become fit, to live off the land Suck cactus.
Yeah, I've heard of these guys.
We never considered them violent until a barge with surplus canned goods bound for South America, was threatened with sinking by Gary Garver and his wife Gertrude.
- Gary's a dentist.
- A gum man.
Gary said tomatoes shouldn't be given to foreigners but stored for the day of disaster.
The Survivors are hoarding vast amounts of supplies so they'll make it when the country's in chaos.
Lately, there's been a series of robberies involving trucks carrying food bottled water, portable toilets.
That sounds like a real healthy bunch, huh? Well, if the end is coming, Mr.
Stetson these Survivors may be the healthiest of us all.
- What is with that woman? - The million dollar question.
She's the one who first reported The Vigilant as missing.
Must have something urgent to add.
Hello.
I'm sorry to interrupt but I was wondering if I could go.
You see, my younger son Jamie, he's out in the car with a bunch of fish and the last bunch died, and it's very hot out there.
I'd like to get them home because if this bunch dies too gee, I just don't know how I would face him.
[AMANDA SIGHS.]
[LEE SIGHS.]
What if the government won't make a deal? They may think it's bad form.
Then we have to raise the stakes.
These people have to understand we're a force to be reckoned with.
How are you going to do that? Well, we interrupted The Vigilant's final road test.
Maybe we should run a test of our own.
See how big a hole we can blow in this big, soft country.
DOTTY: I'd like to ask you something, something that a mother should know.
AMANDA: Shoot.
DOTTY: Are you having an affair? [GRUNTS.]
- What? - Other than the one with Dean.
Mother.
You are preoccupied.
You vanished this morning with scarcely a word.
- You're gone so much at such late hours.
- Mother! When was the last time you saw Johnny Carson? Mother, I don't know.
Amanda, look, this is your house, you can do exactly as you please.
I am just concerned about your future.
Dean is in love with you.
He loves Jamie, he loves Philip.
He has a good job with the Weather Bureau.
I know all that, Mother, believe me.
And Dean is the only man in my life, okay? I promise.
Well, I am awfully glad to hear that.
Ha, ha.
You know, I understand temptation.
I mean, when I lived in Topeka there was a vacuum salesman with the longest eyelashes.
Amanda? Amanda? AMANDA [WHISPERING.]
: When I told you not to call I didn't mean you could come sit in my bushes.
[WHISPERING.]
We've got a job.
You can't just come here and tell me we've got a job.
I was promised training and I want that training.
Suppose something should happen.
I have to know what to do.
Listen, I'm afraid you'll just have to call Mr.
Melrose.
This was Mr.
Melrose's idea.
- It was? - Uh-huh.
[SCOFFS.]
Well, then I'll just have to call Mr.
Melrose.
[CHUCKLES.]
[IN NORMAL VOICE.]
No aphids here.
Definitely.
Aha.
Well, that's good.
This is a very simple case.
All you have to do is look.
- You can look, can't you? - [WHISPERING.]
Of course, I can.
- What am I looking for? - The man who drove away The Vigilant.
- You were the only one who saw him.
- The weasel-faced man.
Are we gonna smoke him out? - Actually, we're playing golf.
- I don't play golf.
- Amanda? AMANDA [IN NORMAL VOICE.]
: Yes, Mother.
While you're out there, why don't you just water my geraniums? Sure, Mother.
[CHUCKLES.]
Happy to water them.
[CHUCKLES.]
- [WHISPERING.]
What? - We're going to the golf course to check out a man named Gordon Standish.
Is he the weasel-faced man's partner? He's an investment counselor.
He's also a member of the Virginia bar, on the board of Cedarside Country Club and a tenor in his church choir.
- He sounds interesting.
LEE: Will you let me finish? - He may also be a crackpot terrorist.
- Oh.
- You ever hear of America Alert? - No.
It's a newsletter by the Survivors, the group that stole The Vigilant.
I broke into the outfit that puts out the thing, went through their files.
- What do you think I saw? - The weasel-faced man.
- I'll get to him.
- Okay.
Checks that paid for the newsletter were issued by a corporation owned by ta-da, Gordon Standish.
- Amanda? - [IN NORMAL VOICE.]
Yes, Mother.
DOTTY: Don't forget those buds by the fence.
Oh, no, Mother.
[CHUCKLES.]
Now, I've arranged to meet Standish and his wife at their country club.
I'm posing as a reporter for Success Magazine.
[WHISPERING.]
While you pose as a reporter and I look for the weasel-faced man.
What am I supposed to be, your secretary or something? Heh.
No way, I wouldn't think of it.
- What then? - My caddie.
I'm joking.
You think The Vigilant's got enough firepower to blow all that away? According to our information, it's a piece of cake.
GORDON [ON RADIO.]
: We'll say this one last time.
Release the Stewed Tomato Two.
You have only 36 hours to act.
If you don't, many innocents will be sacrificed and the weapon of their doom will be The Vigilant itself.
We have already selected a target.
The call came in right after we announced our refusal to negotiate.
- You think they're bluffing? - No.
No.
No.
LEE: Ha.
GORDON: Very nice, Brad.
Very nice.
LEE: Oh, thank you.
EMMA: Yes, indeed.
Let's see now.
Brad is on the green, Gordon's on the green, I'm on the green.
Oh, that's right, Amanda's back in the swamp.
AMANDA: Oh.
Well, I think I'll just get another ball and couldn't I just play it from here? - That's cheating.
Do you want to cheat? AMANDA: Very much.
LEE: Mr.
Standish, we were starting to discuss how the wealthy can't afford to be shy about their political convictions.
GORDON: Yes, well, it seems to me, Brad that anyone with any influence at all has become politicized these days.
You know, actors, rock stars, standup comics.
Hmm.
That Shecky Martino, the one that does all those jokes about the commode? He's a particular thorn in Gordon's side.
Give money to Paraguay, give cheese to Bolivia, give tractors to Guam.
Well, I think I know just a little bit more about the international situation than Shecky Martino.
Well, you know, that thing he does about the rubber chicken is pretty funny, though.
GORDON: You ever play poker, Brad? - Yeah.
Then you know if a man keeps giving away his chips pretty soon he's got nothing to ante with.
EMMA: Shall we go find that ball of yours, Amanda? Uh, no.
Uh, you know, I think we'd better stay here because you know what I have to do? I've gotta get a cover shot.
And so I thought maybe I would get, um, you and Mr.
Standish to sort of stand right there, um, next to his golf ball.
And just a minute.
This is a new camera but I can I think I can, uh [CHUCKLES.]
It's a little uncomfortable but, um, I think I can probably Don't forget to smile, Gordon.
AMANDA: Oh, yeah, there you are.
Assisting a reporter like Brad Brown must be very exciting, Amanda.
Oh, yes, it is.
GORDON: When did you first become a photojournalist? Oh, well, you know, every job seems like the very first one.
Here we go.
[CAMERA CLICKING.]
GORDON: Uh, listen Brad, I want you to know that I'm not alone in my belief that our home soil must always be our first priority.
- I'm not some sort of eccentric.
- Oh, of course not.
In what ways are you not alone in your beliefs? - Oh, many of us believe the same things.
- "Us"? - Those in my organization.
- Ah, I see.
Uh, by "organization," do you mean this country club here or some other organization? The country club, of course, Brad.
EMMA: Let's hit that swamp, Amanda.
- I don't wanna hit the swamp.
- You'll see.
You'll feel so much better after.
- Yeah.
She's a nice girl but she's a very bad loser.
He even went so far as to say he sympathized with the Survivors.
Just dangled it out there for me.
You know what sunstroke feels like? I think I have sunstroke.
He's a tough nut to crack.
He's not some madman living in a tree he's a respectable businessman.
- Mrs.
Standish and I got along.
Lord knows how many like him there are.
She says he predicts the collapse of the whole country.
I just couldn't get him to admit that he's a member of the Survivors.
- Oh, he is.
- What? She told me.
She invited me to a special retreat they're having next weekend.
- She invited you? - You wanna come? She said they're sort of like the, uh, Rotary Club.
They're really harmless, only they eat leaves or something.
And she wanted us to meet their friends.
[SIGHS.]
Do you have an aspirin? DAVIS: This is no ordinary Survivor weekend, Gordon.
What do you mean, your wife invited those reporters along? I just thought it might be less obvious than inviting them myself.
But now? Now when we're in the middle of this hijacking mess.
What if they stumble on The Vigilant? Oh, I suppose you'll tell them it's stolen? GORDON: Nobody's gonna stumble on it.
And they already know it's stolen from the government.
- What did you say? - They are the government, you fool.
- They're agents.
- What? Isn't that correct, Marshall? That's correct, gentlemen.
Obviously, the government suspects us already.
So we're going to let Stetson observe us being just plain, old, ordinary folks.
And then if we need them Stetson and the King woman will be right where we want them.
Why would we need them? Mr.
Davis, even under our current threat of massive destruction the government may still refuse to negotiate with us.
So we'll raise the stakes.
A straight-out trade.
Gary and Gertrude for their two agents.
Unscratched.
- And if they still won't deal? - It's painfully obvious, Davis.
We eliminate The Vigilant, the dam, and the spies.
L I don't like this, Gordon.
There's got to be another way.
Gary and Gertrude Garver never condoned killing.
The ineffectual days are behind us, Davis.
This organization has to take a stand now.
We can't backslide.
And the rest of the group agrees.
I can't let you do this.
I don't believe in murder.
[SIGHS.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
There you have what makes this land so great.
Davis doesn't believe in murder.
[SILENCED GUNSHOT.]
And I do.
That's democracy for you.
- You're not going.
End of discussion.
- It'll look funny if I don't go.
I'm the one Mrs.
Standish invited.
- Amanda, these people are slime.
- We don't know for sure they're slime.
Look, Survivor weekends are no picnic.
It's rough out there.
Do you wanna run around for two days, eat roots, wear nothing but a loincloth? AMANDA: They don't make you wear a loincloth.
Besides, Mr.
Standish thinks we're from the magazine.
Don't you think he's gonna go out of his way to make us see how innocent everything is? - I saw the weasel-faced man.
- "I saw the weasel-faced man.
" I am so tired of hearing about the weasel-faced man.
- Are you trying to blow our case? - It's not our case, it's my case.
If you're not going to be reasonable, we'll just let Billy decide, huh? - Fine, we'll let Billy decide.
- Ha, ha.
BILLY: She's going.
Uh-oh.
AMANDA: Be careful.
Now look, Philip, if Jamie gets scared sleeping outside in that tent you tell Mrs.
Lithman to let you come inside, okay? - Mom, the tent's in the house.
- Hmm? Oh, no problem.
[CAR HORN HONKING.]
PHILIP: Gotta go, Mom.
- Okay, good night.
[IN UNISON.]
I love you.
JAMIE: Bye-bye.
- Bye.
- Amanda? Is the cassette player working? AMANDA: Mm-hm.
Dr.
Bain's coming over.
We're gonna watch Born Free.
Hmm.
I think so, Mother.
Mother, do you know where that old canteen is? - Canteen? - For my trip.
I see.
- What trip? - Since the boys will be at the Lithmans' I thought this would be, uh, a good time for me to go on a kind of a retreat.
- A retreat? - Yeah, you know.
They put you on a special diet and they give you your own special exercises and they, um, teach you how to meditate, you know.
Well, you know I've always wanted to do that kind of thing.
Amanda, when you were a girl I asked you once if you'd smoked the cigarette I found in the ashtray.
AMANDA: Ha.
Mm-hm.
You hadn't but you resented my suspicions so much that you ran over to Debbie Ann Macabie's house and smoked one.
Ha, ha.
Yeah, I got sick as a dog.
Yes, well, anyway, I hope that just because I asked you if you were having an affair - Mother.
I am not going to rush right out and have an affair.
- Of course not.
- That would be neurotic.
Besides, it's none of my business anyway.
- No.
- Ha-ha-ha.
- Where is this retreat being held? - I don't know.
- Is there a number where I can reach you? - No, I'll check in.
- You taking the car? - No, somebody's gonna pick me up.
- Who? - Nobody you know.
Oh.
Ha-ha-ha.
Sounds perfectly innocent to me.
MAN: Left, right, left, right.
Let's go! Let's go, move it! Keep it moving.
Follow me.
[AMANDA SIGHS.]
I've never seen your legs before.
- So, what do you think? - Not bad.
[CHUCKLES.]
Thanks.
You must be in good shape.
You don't seem tired.
I'm not tired.
I work out.
Oh, me too.
I see a guy who runs me through the Alps a few times a year.
At home, I combine a program of karate, fencing, kickboxing.
And I try to check my metabolism as often as I can.
Hmm.
Fitness with Dave, weekday mornings at 8, Channel 12.
Ah.
Heh.
Okay, let's keep it moving.
Let's go, you rookies.
Follow me.
[LEE GRO ANS.]
AMANDA: Oh.
- Shall we? - You told everyone about our guests? I told them they're reporters.
They know what to do.
You warned them not to mention our more controversial activities? - Of course.
- Fine.
Those two are gonna learn everything they came to learn.
The price will be most expensive.
FRANCINE: Red alert, Sector 6.
Take these papers up to SCR right away, please.
405 and Potomac, Stroud? We're not getting very far, Billy.
Even if the computer can choose targets it'll still be too many to cover effectively.
BILLY: Well, keep it going.
How are you people doing with the phone trace? - Nothing so far.
- Try again on the next call and check the voice print against foreign terrorists.
- Who knows what we got here.
- Mm.
Okay.
I don't think these idiots have any idea of the immense firepower on that bus.
They may aim at a totally unoccupied target and take out an entire town.
Perhaps we should consider negotiating with the Survivors.
I think we still have a few cards to play yet.
Any word from Stetson? No.
He'll call me in the morning and then I'll pull him in.
I'm starting to think that that lead of his won't gain us much.
- Time till deadline, please? - Ten hours.
We just heard from Holt.
He says they're not gonna budge.
It's time we made our move.
Get me Kale.
Would you mind telling me why you are so damned determined to stay on this case? I am just curious.
Once I start something, I like to finish it.
Besides, I felt it was my patriotic duty.
Oh, patriotic duty.
Why can't you admit you get a kick out of all this? Why can't you just admit that you think this is exciting stuff, huh? I don't understand you.
I don't know why.
You know 10,000 things about me.
You put it through your computer 15 million times.
I don't understand you.
I don't know much about you at all.
- Well, there's nothing to know.
- Oh, come on.
Now, you must have had a really interesting life.
All right, what is it that you wanna know? Well, why is your codename Scarecrow? - That's very personal.
- Oh, terrific.
I'm sorry.
You just happened to ask the one thing that's very personal.
All right.
Uh, have you ever been married? LEE: Oh, this weekend has been so damn frustrating.
Changes the subject.
I mean, just get these people talking.
Know they're just crazy enough to have The Vigilant.
They stop before they say anything that'll stick.
Gee.
This'll stick.
- Hmm? - The weasel-faced man.
- He said what? - They've got Stetson and the King woman.
And will trade them for the Stewed Tomato Two.
FRANCINE: Billy.
- We have until 7 a.
m.
Then Lee and Amanda will be executed.
This was never the idea.
The Survivors weren't organized in order to take lives.
Tell that to the goons who've been calling us.
They're doing this for you.
They don't get you back, they blow something up.
And we don't know how many lives will be lost.
They're threatening to kill two of my people.
FRANCINE: And there's very little time left.
We have to tell them, Gary.
We, uh We fear an evil hand has taken control of our followers.
- Gordon Standish.
- It is Standish.
Gordon can be an electrifying speaker.
He's always wanted the group to become more violent.
By rallying Survivors around him to save us he's hoping to finally have things his way.
Standish just held a Survivor weekend.
Where would that take place? Anywhere.
They change all the time.
There are a couple of possibilities.
He's an egomaniac.
You must understand if he says he's gonna kill these people, he'll do it.
BRAVO WING [O VER RADIO.]
: Bravo Wing to Blue Leader.
No sign of vehicle in my assigned area.
Will repeat sweep once again.
Over.
BLUE LEADER [O VER RADIO.]
: Copy, Bravo Wing.
Entering northern perimeter of Weston State Forest.
All units are to continue their sweep patterns until notified.
BRAVO WING [O VER RADIO.]
: I see a motor home down there.
About five of them.
Anyone ever notice these things all look alike? Donahue Dam? You can't blow up Donahue Dam.
Really? Why not? You two are gonna have the best seats in the house.
- When the dam goes, you go with it.
- You'll destroy the whole valley.
Precisely.
Get me Congressman Fremont on the radio.
I'm scared.
DELTA WING [O VER RADIO.]
: Delta Wing returning to original coordinates.
I'm gonna go down a little closer.
I haven't spotted a thing.
BRAVO WING [O VER RADIO.]
: Blue Leader, we may be over the Survivor camp now.
Appears empty.
BILLY: Yes, congressman, I know.
I see.
I thought the President would agree.
Tell Standish, no deal.
BRAVO WING: Uh, I'm beginning the sweep again.
What have we got? About 15 minutes now? FREMONT [O VER PHONE.]
: We cannot and will not negotiate with terrorists.
However, if no harm comes to any life or property we would consider reading a list of your grievances.
Set the fire coordinates into the computer.
[MACHINE BEEPING.]
AMANDA: I think I got it.
- No, no.
- No.
- No, pull that one.
- Okay.
- No, not that one.
I'm sorry.
- Stop moving around.
- Shh.
Watch your hands, please.
[LEE GRUNTS.]
Wait a minute.
Amanda, get down behind me.
- You'll avoid the flying glass.
- What flying glass? Oh.
LEE: Come on.
[MACHINE BEEPING.]
COMPUTER: Launch controls are now sealed and locked.
It's fully automatic.
You're the only one who can stop it.
[LEE CHUCKLES.]
LEE: It's starting to give.
- Yeah.
LEE: Just a little more.
BRAVO WING [O VER RADIO.]
: Bravo Wing to Blue Leader.
We're not having much luck and we're running out of time.
Do you want us to take them to the dam now? Yes.
[GRUNTING.]
All right.
Now first let's lose the pistol.
Now that way.
Go on.
Hello? Hel Uh Hello? - Mr.
Standish.
- Mr.
Stetson.
- All right, gentlemen, it's all over now.
GORDON: Not yet it isn't.
LEE: What was that? - It was a tiny, little key.
We Survivors will eat anything.
Stetson.
[GRUNTS.]
Hello? Hello? AMANDA: Anyone who can hear me please call 555-3434 and say, uh, uh, Scarecrow Donahue Dam.
Amanda, come on, get over here.
Come on, get in the bus.
[GRUNTS.]
AMANDA: Come on.
LEE: No.
Go on.
AMANDA: No.
- Go on, leave me.
[LEE GRUNTING.]
[GUNFIRE.]
Leave me, he says.
They tell us to say that.
Thank God you never listen to me.
[ENGINE SPUTTERING.]
LEE: The radio's smashed.
LEE: Okay, let's see if this thing really works.
You guys wanted to play rough.
Come on, let's get out of here.
[COMPUTER READING ON-SCREEN TEXT.]
COMPUTER: Your option to evacuate the vehicle expires in 20 seconds.
Get this thing as far out in the country as you can.
They got this set to fire everything it's got.
MAN: Blue Leader, we're picking up a strange radio transmission.
BILLY: She said she heard it on her CB? Hell, I'll try anything.
Donahue Dam's near here.
Order all military units to get over there fast.
If that dam goes, it's gonna take a whole town along with it so don't take any chances.
Destroy that bus before it can fire.
WOMAN [O VER RADIO.]
: Attention all units.
Converge immediately to Donahue Dam.
Adjust coordinates to bearing 057.
Look, it's the Army.
COMPUTER: Missiles will launch in T-minus-5 minutes.
[GUNFIRE.]
[YELLS.]
They're shooting at us.
COMPUTER: Please do not exceed posted speed limits.
BRAVO WING: Bravo Wing to Blue Leader.
We got them.
COMPUTER: T- minus-4 minutes.
LEE: Sorry for this, guys.
BRAVO WING: Blue Leader, the vehicle seems to be heading back for Donahue Dam.
WOMAN [O VER RADIO.]
: Attention all units.
Vehicle turning to Donahue Dam.
[GUNFIRE.]
LEE: Come on, come on.
Open up, will you? Amanda, we're heading right back towards the dam.
Take us south.
COMPUTER: T- minus- 1 minute.
BRAVO WING: Target vehicle has been stopped.
All units, immediately close in.
Repeat, all units close in, prepare to fire.
[ALARM BLARING.]
MAN: Come out with your hands up.
Yes.
Oh, no.
I can't get it open.
[COMPUTER READING ON-SCREEN TEXT.]
[COMPUTER READING ON-SCREEN TEXT.]
It's glued down.
MAN: Fire on my command.
COMPUTER: Warheads are now armed.
MAN: Four three two - [MOUTHING.]
Billy.
Me.
- Hold your fire! - Hold your fire.
[ALARM BLARING.]
[LEE GRUNTING.]
[SIGHS.]
[COMPUTER READING ON-SCREEN TEXT.]
COMPUTER: Automatic detonation has been cancelled.
Thank you.
Have a nice day.
[SIGHS.]
Hello.
I got it stopped.
It won't fire.
Good.
Very good.
- You all right? - Oh, yeah.
Good.
Oh, Stetson, nice work.
Yeah.
Now get this thing cleaned up and ready to go to Arizona.
FRANCINE: Well, they got Standish and Holt.
Can you believe he was the leak? Hey, everybody is talking about your great driving job with the bus.
Those jeeps really had a hard time keeping up.
Yeah, well, uh, I wasn't driving.
- It was Amanda here.
- Oh.
- However did you manage? - Oh, I've had plenty of practice.
I once drove the boys into New York City on Thanksgiving Day for Macy's parade.
[LEE GRUNTS.]
AMANDA: There.
LEE: Okay.
Oh, let's see.
- Ah, good as new.
- Good.
- I can sew those pants up for you.
- No, no, no.
No, thank you.
[LEE CHUCKLES.]
Look, uh, they'll be giving you a ride home.
I guess I'll be seeing you, maybe.
But then again, maybe I won't.
You know.
Yeah.
Well, just in case you don't do you think you could say something nice about my work? I mean, after all, I think I did contribute something here.
Hmm.
Okay.
Uh, your work was not bad.
- Not bad? Yeah.
Not bad.
Not bad.
Well, you think my legs are just okay I think your work was just not bad.
That is so petty.
Care to change your opinion?
So it'd be quite a haul.
- He's on the way.
- All right.
Get him.
Get out.
All the water or you're a dead man.
BILLY: Congressman Fremont, the guard we have placed around the plant must make you feel secure.
- The congressman never feels secure.
He is, after all, on the arms appropriations committee.
You must feel satisfied the committee supported development of this weapon.
The congressman never feels satisfied.
His job is awesome but his spirit is tireless.
BILLY: Well, he needn't worry anymore.
Lee Stetson has proved his driving skills at Le Mans and Monaco.
He'll take care of the TWU.
FRANCINE: What does TWU stand for? HOLT: Total Weaponry Unit.
It took five years to develop, $90 million to produce.
And 235 man hours to push it through Congress.
And now the TWU stands ready to take its place beside the Polaris sub, the B-52, and the Titan.
Gentlemen, lady, I give you The Vigilant.
What? Awesome, isn't it? It's so computerized, a baby could drive it.
What Teflon did for pots, The Vigilant will do for battle.
Ooh.
Oh, just what I like.
A war you can throw at a minute's notice with no messy cleanup.
FREMONT: Let's go inside.
Now wait till you see her in action.
Excuse me.
Hi, there.
Welcome to a whole new world in weapons.
Yes, this is the fully computerized Vigilant, Total Weaponry Unit.
Is that a bazooka ahead? No problem.
This thick-skinned beauty is a fortress on tires.
She can fire over a thousand rounds per minute and launch multi-targeted missiles.
Mob control? You bet.
Global communications, tactical planning? Sure.
So for combat you can count on, look to this plain-looking little van that can move unobtrusively from one hot spot to the next.
Yes, The Vigilant gives brand new meaning to the word "assault.
" You have just seen the weapon of the future.
And it's ours.
- John Paul Jones? - We're related.
I wanted The Vigilant to have a mascot.
LEE: Uh Well, this is all All very nice, but what exactly do you want me to do with it? Drive it 3000 miles cross-country to Arizona where in three days The Vigilant will be unveiled for the military congressional top brass, as well as the press.
Well, couldn't you just ship the thing? It would save on the wear and tear.
We need the tightest security possible.
We'll send the mock-up by air and no one will know you're driving the real one across-country.
I want you to roll onto that proving ground and, without stopping, demolish a town.
- What? - Oh, not a real town.
We built one.
It just seems to me that in 3000 miles the opportunity for sabotage are enormous.
Uh That's precisely why you'll rendezvous with an undercover escort.
And your time and place of departure will be kept secret.
- Aren't we leaving from here? - The mock-up will.
Hopefully, anybody watching will follow it.
Yeah, but where will the real bus be? In a place so innocent and ordinary that no one would ever expect to find a classified military weapon.
AMANDA: Philip, are you almost through? Dean's gonna call and I wanna thank him for letting you play football in your good pants.
Okay, I'll talk to you later.
Bye.
- Okay, I'm off.
AMANDA: Thank you, sweetheart.
Look, take these, go put them in the washer put about a cup and a half of this stuff.
[PHONE RINGS.]
PHILIP: Hello? Yes she is.
- Jamie, put the ice cream back.
PHILIP: Is this Dean? - He says, "Not in a thousand years.
" - Here.
Pants, washer, go now.
Scoot.
Hello, is this who I think it is? - Well, who do you think it is? - Look, you cannot call here.
Real people live here and they won't understand you.
- Look, we need a little favor.
- Favor? LEE: This was Billy's idea.
- Well, what kind of favor? Uh, actually, it's not for Billy so much as it is for the country.
Oh, lord, I hate pruning.
Amanda, dear, Herb from Herb's Cars is here with that RV that you're buying.
Oh.
- What? - Uh-oh.
They beat me to it.
I have been trying to call you.
It's a secret vehicle.
We'll be leaving very early with it, so don't worry.
There will be guards on the street all night.
We really appreciate you doing this.
Thanks.
Oh, no.
[SIGHS.]
GORDON: Why are you phoning me here? HOLT [O VER PHONE.]
: The plans have changed.
They won't be leaving from the plant.
We can handle it.
Go on.
MAN [ON RADIO.]
: It's 5:30 a.
m.
In Washington and a crisp 49 degrees outside.
Picnic lunch for a spy.
I don't know why I bother.
He'll never appreciate it.
[ENGINE STARTS NEARBY.]
[LINE RINGING.]
WOMAN [O VER PHONE.]
: 5583.
Uh, hello, hello.
Um, I need to talk to someone there.
GORDON [ON RADIO.]
: And so, Congressman Fremont what we do is for a noble cause.
We are patient people, reasonable people but we will not let our brothers rot in jail, persecuted for doing their patriotic duty.
You have 72 hours.
Awake America, you are a sleeping giant, and soon Goliath will fall.
We will return The Vigilant when you return Gary and Gertrude the Stewed Tomato Two.
The Stewed Tomato Two? That's all he said, then he hung up.
Who are these people? FRANCINE: It's a group calling themselves the Survivors.
They insist America has become too soft and we aren't prepared should disaster strike.
They put out a newsletter called America Alert urging their followers to become fit, to live off the land Suck cactus.
Yeah, I've heard of these guys.
We never considered them violent until a barge with surplus canned goods bound for South America, was threatened with sinking by Gary Garver and his wife Gertrude.
- Gary's a dentist.
- A gum man.
Gary said tomatoes shouldn't be given to foreigners but stored for the day of disaster.
The Survivors are hoarding vast amounts of supplies so they'll make it when the country's in chaos.
Lately, there's been a series of robberies involving trucks carrying food bottled water, portable toilets.
That sounds like a real healthy bunch, huh? Well, if the end is coming, Mr.
Stetson these Survivors may be the healthiest of us all.
- What is with that woman? - The million dollar question.
She's the one who first reported The Vigilant as missing.
Must have something urgent to add.
Hello.
I'm sorry to interrupt but I was wondering if I could go.
You see, my younger son Jamie, he's out in the car with a bunch of fish and the last bunch died, and it's very hot out there.
I'd like to get them home because if this bunch dies too gee, I just don't know how I would face him.
[AMANDA SIGHS.]
[LEE SIGHS.]
What if the government won't make a deal? They may think it's bad form.
Then we have to raise the stakes.
These people have to understand we're a force to be reckoned with.
How are you going to do that? Well, we interrupted The Vigilant's final road test.
Maybe we should run a test of our own.
See how big a hole we can blow in this big, soft country.
DOTTY: I'd like to ask you something, something that a mother should know.
AMANDA: Shoot.
DOTTY: Are you having an affair? [GRUNTS.]
- What? - Other than the one with Dean.
Mother.
You are preoccupied.
You vanished this morning with scarcely a word.
- You're gone so much at such late hours.
- Mother! When was the last time you saw Johnny Carson? Mother, I don't know.
Amanda, look, this is your house, you can do exactly as you please.
I am just concerned about your future.
Dean is in love with you.
He loves Jamie, he loves Philip.
He has a good job with the Weather Bureau.
I know all that, Mother, believe me.
And Dean is the only man in my life, okay? I promise.
Well, I am awfully glad to hear that.
Ha, ha.
You know, I understand temptation.
I mean, when I lived in Topeka there was a vacuum salesman with the longest eyelashes.
Amanda? Amanda? AMANDA [WHISPERING.]
: When I told you not to call I didn't mean you could come sit in my bushes.
[WHISPERING.]
We've got a job.
You can't just come here and tell me we've got a job.
I was promised training and I want that training.
Suppose something should happen.
I have to know what to do.
Listen, I'm afraid you'll just have to call Mr.
Melrose.
This was Mr.
Melrose's idea.
- It was? - Uh-huh.
[SCOFFS.]
Well, then I'll just have to call Mr.
Melrose.
[CHUCKLES.]
[IN NORMAL VOICE.]
No aphids here.
Definitely.
Aha.
Well, that's good.
This is a very simple case.
All you have to do is look.
- You can look, can't you? - [WHISPERING.]
Of course, I can.
- What am I looking for? - The man who drove away The Vigilant.
- You were the only one who saw him.
- The weasel-faced man.
Are we gonna smoke him out? - Actually, we're playing golf.
- I don't play golf.
- Amanda? AMANDA [IN NORMAL VOICE.]
: Yes, Mother.
While you're out there, why don't you just water my geraniums? Sure, Mother.
[CHUCKLES.]
Happy to water them.
[CHUCKLES.]
- [WHISPERING.]
What? - We're going to the golf course to check out a man named Gordon Standish.
Is he the weasel-faced man's partner? He's an investment counselor.
He's also a member of the Virginia bar, on the board of Cedarside Country Club and a tenor in his church choir.
- He sounds interesting.
LEE: Will you let me finish? - He may also be a crackpot terrorist.
- Oh.
- You ever hear of America Alert? - No.
It's a newsletter by the Survivors, the group that stole The Vigilant.
I broke into the outfit that puts out the thing, went through their files.
- What do you think I saw? - The weasel-faced man.
- I'll get to him.
- Okay.
Checks that paid for the newsletter were issued by a corporation owned by ta-da, Gordon Standish.
- Amanda? - [IN NORMAL VOICE.]
Yes, Mother.
DOTTY: Don't forget those buds by the fence.
Oh, no, Mother.
[CHUCKLES.]
Now, I've arranged to meet Standish and his wife at their country club.
I'm posing as a reporter for Success Magazine.
[WHISPERING.]
While you pose as a reporter and I look for the weasel-faced man.
What am I supposed to be, your secretary or something? Heh.
No way, I wouldn't think of it.
- What then? - My caddie.
I'm joking.
You think The Vigilant's got enough firepower to blow all that away? According to our information, it's a piece of cake.
GORDON [ON RADIO.]
: We'll say this one last time.
Release the Stewed Tomato Two.
You have only 36 hours to act.
If you don't, many innocents will be sacrificed and the weapon of their doom will be The Vigilant itself.
We have already selected a target.
The call came in right after we announced our refusal to negotiate.
- You think they're bluffing? - No.
No.
No.
LEE: Ha.
GORDON: Very nice, Brad.
Very nice.
LEE: Oh, thank you.
EMMA: Yes, indeed.
Let's see now.
Brad is on the green, Gordon's on the green, I'm on the green.
Oh, that's right, Amanda's back in the swamp.
AMANDA: Oh.
Well, I think I'll just get another ball and couldn't I just play it from here? - That's cheating.
Do you want to cheat? AMANDA: Very much.
LEE: Mr.
Standish, we were starting to discuss how the wealthy can't afford to be shy about their political convictions.
GORDON: Yes, well, it seems to me, Brad that anyone with any influence at all has become politicized these days.
You know, actors, rock stars, standup comics.
Hmm.
That Shecky Martino, the one that does all those jokes about the commode? He's a particular thorn in Gordon's side.
Give money to Paraguay, give cheese to Bolivia, give tractors to Guam.
Well, I think I know just a little bit more about the international situation than Shecky Martino.
Well, you know, that thing he does about the rubber chicken is pretty funny, though.
GORDON: You ever play poker, Brad? - Yeah.
Then you know if a man keeps giving away his chips pretty soon he's got nothing to ante with.
EMMA: Shall we go find that ball of yours, Amanda? Uh, no.
Uh, you know, I think we'd better stay here because you know what I have to do? I've gotta get a cover shot.
And so I thought maybe I would get, um, you and Mr.
Standish to sort of stand right there, um, next to his golf ball.
And just a minute.
This is a new camera but I can I think I can, uh [CHUCKLES.]
It's a little uncomfortable but, um, I think I can probably Don't forget to smile, Gordon.
AMANDA: Oh, yeah, there you are.
Assisting a reporter like Brad Brown must be very exciting, Amanda.
Oh, yes, it is.
GORDON: When did you first become a photojournalist? Oh, well, you know, every job seems like the very first one.
Here we go.
[CAMERA CLICKING.]
GORDON: Uh, listen Brad, I want you to know that I'm not alone in my belief that our home soil must always be our first priority.
- I'm not some sort of eccentric.
- Oh, of course not.
In what ways are you not alone in your beliefs? - Oh, many of us believe the same things.
- "Us"? - Those in my organization.
- Ah, I see.
Uh, by "organization," do you mean this country club here or some other organization? The country club, of course, Brad.
EMMA: Let's hit that swamp, Amanda.
- I don't wanna hit the swamp.
- You'll see.
You'll feel so much better after.
- Yeah.
She's a nice girl but she's a very bad loser.
He even went so far as to say he sympathized with the Survivors.
Just dangled it out there for me.
You know what sunstroke feels like? I think I have sunstroke.
He's a tough nut to crack.
He's not some madman living in a tree he's a respectable businessman.
- Mrs.
Standish and I got along.
Lord knows how many like him there are.
She says he predicts the collapse of the whole country.
I just couldn't get him to admit that he's a member of the Survivors.
- Oh, he is.
- What? She told me.
She invited me to a special retreat they're having next weekend.
- She invited you? - You wanna come? She said they're sort of like the, uh, Rotary Club.
They're really harmless, only they eat leaves or something.
And she wanted us to meet their friends.
[SIGHS.]
Do you have an aspirin? DAVIS: This is no ordinary Survivor weekend, Gordon.
What do you mean, your wife invited those reporters along? I just thought it might be less obvious than inviting them myself.
But now? Now when we're in the middle of this hijacking mess.
What if they stumble on The Vigilant? Oh, I suppose you'll tell them it's stolen? GORDON: Nobody's gonna stumble on it.
And they already know it's stolen from the government.
- What did you say? - They are the government, you fool.
- They're agents.
- What? Isn't that correct, Marshall? That's correct, gentlemen.
Obviously, the government suspects us already.
So we're going to let Stetson observe us being just plain, old, ordinary folks.
And then if we need them Stetson and the King woman will be right where we want them.
Why would we need them? Mr.
Davis, even under our current threat of massive destruction the government may still refuse to negotiate with us.
So we'll raise the stakes.
A straight-out trade.
Gary and Gertrude for their two agents.
Unscratched.
- And if they still won't deal? - It's painfully obvious, Davis.
We eliminate The Vigilant, the dam, and the spies.
L I don't like this, Gordon.
There's got to be another way.
Gary and Gertrude Garver never condoned killing.
The ineffectual days are behind us, Davis.
This organization has to take a stand now.
We can't backslide.
And the rest of the group agrees.
I can't let you do this.
I don't believe in murder.
[SIGHS.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
There you have what makes this land so great.
Davis doesn't believe in murder.
[SILENCED GUNSHOT.]
And I do.
That's democracy for you.
- You're not going.
End of discussion.
- It'll look funny if I don't go.
I'm the one Mrs.
Standish invited.
- Amanda, these people are slime.
- We don't know for sure they're slime.
Look, Survivor weekends are no picnic.
It's rough out there.
Do you wanna run around for two days, eat roots, wear nothing but a loincloth? AMANDA: They don't make you wear a loincloth.
Besides, Mr.
Standish thinks we're from the magazine.
Don't you think he's gonna go out of his way to make us see how innocent everything is? - I saw the weasel-faced man.
- "I saw the weasel-faced man.
" I am so tired of hearing about the weasel-faced man.
- Are you trying to blow our case? - It's not our case, it's my case.
If you're not going to be reasonable, we'll just let Billy decide, huh? - Fine, we'll let Billy decide.
- Ha, ha.
BILLY: She's going.
Uh-oh.
AMANDA: Be careful.
Now look, Philip, if Jamie gets scared sleeping outside in that tent you tell Mrs.
Lithman to let you come inside, okay? - Mom, the tent's in the house.
- Hmm? Oh, no problem.
[CAR HORN HONKING.]
PHILIP: Gotta go, Mom.
- Okay, good night.
[IN UNISON.]
I love you.
JAMIE: Bye-bye.
- Bye.
- Amanda? Is the cassette player working? AMANDA: Mm-hm.
Dr.
Bain's coming over.
We're gonna watch Born Free.
Hmm.
I think so, Mother.
Mother, do you know where that old canteen is? - Canteen? - For my trip.
I see.
- What trip? - Since the boys will be at the Lithmans' I thought this would be, uh, a good time for me to go on a kind of a retreat.
- A retreat? - Yeah, you know.
They put you on a special diet and they give you your own special exercises and they, um, teach you how to meditate, you know.
Well, you know I've always wanted to do that kind of thing.
Amanda, when you were a girl I asked you once if you'd smoked the cigarette I found in the ashtray.
AMANDA: Ha.
Mm-hm.
You hadn't but you resented my suspicions so much that you ran over to Debbie Ann Macabie's house and smoked one.
Ha, ha.
Yeah, I got sick as a dog.
Yes, well, anyway, I hope that just because I asked you if you were having an affair - Mother.
I am not going to rush right out and have an affair.
- Of course not.
- That would be neurotic.
Besides, it's none of my business anyway.
- No.
- Ha-ha-ha.
- Where is this retreat being held? - I don't know.
- Is there a number where I can reach you? - No, I'll check in.
- You taking the car? - No, somebody's gonna pick me up.
- Who? - Nobody you know.
Oh.
Ha-ha-ha.
Sounds perfectly innocent to me.
MAN: Left, right, left, right.
Let's go! Let's go, move it! Keep it moving.
Follow me.
[AMANDA SIGHS.]
I've never seen your legs before.
- So, what do you think? - Not bad.
[CHUCKLES.]
Thanks.
You must be in good shape.
You don't seem tired.
I'm not tired.
I work out.
Oh, me too.
I see a guy who runs me through the Alps a few times a year.
At home, I combine a program of karate, fencing, kickboxing.
And I try to check my metabolism as often as I can.
Hmm.
Fitness with Dave, weekday mornings at 8, Channel 12.
Ah.
Heh.
Okay, let's keep it moving.
Let's go, you rookies.
Follow me.
[LEE GRO ANS.]
AMANDA: Oh.
- Shall we? - You told everyone about our guests? I told them they're reporters.
They know what to do.
You warned them not to mention our more controversial activities? - Of course.
- Fine.
Those two are gonna learn everything they came to learn.
The price will be most expensive.
FRANCINE: Red alert, Sector 6.
Take these papers up to SCR right away, please.
405 and Potomac, Stroud? We're not getting very far, Billy.
Even if the computer can choose targets it'll still be too many to cover effectively.
BILLY: Well, keep it going.
How are you people doing with the phone trace? - Nothing so far.
- Try again on the next call and check the voice print against foreign terrorists.
- Who knows what we got here.
- Mm.
Okay.
I don't think these idiots have any idea of the immense firepower on that bus.
They may aim at a totally unoccupied target and take out an entire town.
Perhaps we should consider negotiating with the Survivors.
I think we still have a few cards to play yet.
Any word from Stetson? No.
He'll call me in the morning and then I'll pull him in.
I'm starting to think that that lead of his won't gain us much.
- Time till deadline, please? - Ten hours.
We just heard from Holt.
He says they're not gonna budge.
It's time we made our move.
Get me Kale.
Would you mind telling me why you are so damned determined to stay on this case? I am just curious.
Once I start something, I like to finish it.
Besides, I felt it was my patriotic duty.
Oh, patriotic duty.
Why can't you admit you get a kick out of all this? Why can't you just admit that you think this is exciting stuff, huh? I don't understand you.
I don't know why.
You know 10,000 things about me.
You put it through your computer 15 million times.
I don't understand you.
I don't know much about you at all.
- Well, there's nothing to know.
- Oh, come on.
Now, you must have had a really interesting life.
All right, what is it that you wanna know? Well, why is your codename Scarecrow? - That's very personal.
- Oh, terrific.
I'm sorry.
You just happened to ask the one thing that's very personal.
All right.
Uh, have you ever been married? LEE: Oh, this weekend has been so damn frustrating.
Changes the subject.
I mean, just get these people talking.
Know they're just crazy enough to have The Vigilant.
They stop before they say anything that'll stick.
Gee.
This'll stick.
- Hmm? - The weasel-faced man.
- He said what? - They've got Stetson and the King woman.
And will trade them for the Stewed Tomato Two.
FRANCINE: Billy.
- We have until 7 a.
m.
Then Lee and Amanda will be executed.
This was never the idea.
The Survivors weren't organized in order to take lives.
Tell that to the goons who've been calling us.
They're doing this for you.
They don't get you back, they blow something up.
And we don't know how many lives will be lost.
They're threatening to kill two of my people.
FRANCINE: And there's very little time left.
We have to tell them, Gary.
We, uh We fear an evil hand has taken control of our followers.
- Gordon Standish.
- It is Standish.
Gordon can be an electrifying speaker.
He's always wanted the group to become more violent.
By rallying Survivors around him to save us he's hoping to finally have things his way.
Standish just held a Survivor weekend.
Where would that take place? Anywhere.
They change all the time.
There are a couple of possibilities.
He's an egomaniac.
You must understand if he says he's gonna kill these people, he'll do it.
BRAVO WING [O VER RADIO.]
: Bravo Wing to Blue Leader.
No sign of vehicle in my assigned area.
Will repeat sweep once again.
Over.
BLUE LEADER [O VER RADIO.]
: Copy, Bravo Wing.
Entering northern perimeter of Weston State Forest.
All units are to continue their sweep patterns until notified.
BRAVO WING [O VER RADIO.]
: I see a motor home down there.
About five of them.
Anyone ever notice these things all look alike? Donahue Dam? You can't blow up Donahue Dam.
Really? Why not? You two are gonna have the best seats in the house.
- When the dam goes, you go with it.
- You'll destroy the whole valley.
Precisely.
Get me Congressman Fremont on the radio.
I'm scared.
DELTA WING [O VER RADIO.]
: Delta Wing returning to original coordinates.
I'm gonna go down a little closer.
I haven't spotted a thing.
BRAVO WING [O VER RADIO.]
: Blue Leader, we may be over the Survivor camp now.
Appears empty.
BILLY: Yes, congressman, I know.
I see.
I thought the President would agree.
Tell Standish, no deal.
BRAVO WING: Uh, I'm beginning the sweep again.
What have we got? About 15 minutes now? FREMONT [O VER PHONE.]
: We cannot and will not negotiate with terrorists.
However, if no harm comes to any life or property we would consider reading a list of your grievances.
Set the fire coordinates into the computer.
[MACHINE BEEPING.]
AMANDA: I think I got it.
- No, no.
- No.
- No, pull that one.
- Okay.
- No, not that one.
I'm sorry.
- Stop moving around.
- Shh.
Watch your hands, please.
[LEE GRUNTS.]
Wait a minute.
Amanda, get down behind me.
- You'll avoid the flying glass.
- What flying glass? Oh.
LEE: Come on.
[MACHINE BEEPING.]
COMPUTER: Launch controls are now sealed and locked.
It's fully automatic.
You're the only one who can stop it.
[LEE CHUCKLES.]
LEE: It's starting to give.
- Yeah.
LEE: Just a little more.
BRAVO WING [O VER RADIO.]
: Bravo Wing to Blue Leader.
We're not having much luck and we're running out of time.
Do you want us to take them to the dam now? Yes.
[GRUNTING.]
All right.
Now first let's lose the pistol.
Now that way.
Go on.
Hello? Hel Uh Hello? - Mr.
Standish.
- Mr.
Stetson.
- All right, gentlemen, it's all over now.
GORDON: Not yet it isn't.
LEE: What was that? - It was a tiny, little key.
We Survivors will eat anything.
Stetson.
[GRUNTS.]
Hello? Hello? AMANDA: Anyone who can hear me please call 555-3434 and say, uh, uh, Scarecrow Donahue Dam.
Amanda, come on, get over here.
Come on, get in the bus.
[GRUNTS.]
AMANDA: Come on.
LEE: No.
Go on.
AMANDA: No.
- Go on, leave me.
[LEE GRUNTING.]
[GUNFIRE.]
Leave me, he says.
They tell us to say that.
Thank God you never listen to me.
[ENGINE SPUTTERING.]
LEE: The radio's smashed.
LEE: Okay, let's see if this thing really works.
You guys wanted to play rough.
Come on, let's get out of here.
[COMPUTER READING ON-SCREEN TEXT.]
COMPUTER: Your option to evacuate the vehicle expires in 20 seconds.
Get this thing as far out in the country as you can.
They got this set to fire everything it's got.
MAN: Blue Leader, we're picking up a strange radio transmission.
BILLY: She said she heard it on her CB? Hell, I'll try anything.
Donahue Dam's near here.
Order all military units to get over there fast.
If that dam goes, it's gonna take a whole town along with it so don't take any chances.
Destroy that bus before it can fire.
WOMAN [O VER RADIO.]
: Attention all units.
Converge immediately to Donahue Dam.
Adjust coordinates to bearing 057.
Look, it's the Army.
COMPUTER: Missiles will launch in T-minus-5 minutes.
[GUNFIRE.]
[YELLS.]
They're shooting at us.
COMPUTER: Please do not exceed posted speed limits.
BRAVO WING: Bravo Wing to Blue Leader.
We got them.
COMPUTER: T- minus-4 minutes.
LEE: Sorry for this, guys.
BRAVO WING: Blue Leader, the vehicle seems to be heading back for Donahue Dam.
WOMAN [O VER RADIO.]
: Attention all units.
Vehicle turning to Donahue Dam.
[GUNFIRE.]
LEE: Come on, come on.
Open up, will you? Amanda, we're heading right back towards the dam.
Take us south.
COMPUTER: T- minus- 1 minute.
BRAVO WING: Target vehicle has been stopped.
All units, immediately close in.
Repeat, all units close in, prepare to fire.
[ALARM BLARING.]
MAN: Come out with your hands up.
Yes.
Oh, no.
I can't get it open.
[COMPUTER READING ON-SCREEN TEXT.]
[COMPUTER READING ON-SCREEN TEXT.]
It's glued down.
MAN: Fire on my command.
COMPUTER: Warheads are now armed.
MAN: Four three two - [MOUTHING.]
Billy.
Me.
- Hold your fire! - Hold your fire.
[ALARM BLARING.]
[LEE GRUNTING.]
[SIGHS.]
[COMPUTER READING ON-SCREEN TEXT.]
COMPUTER: Automatic detonation has been cancelled.
Thank you.
Have a nice day.
[SIGHS.]
Hello.
I got it stopped.
It won't fire.
Good.
Very good.
- You all right? - Oh, yeah.
Good.
Oh, Stetson, nice work.
Yeah.
Now get this thing cleaned up and ready to go to Arizona.
FRANCINE: Well, they got Standish and Holt.
Can you believe he was the leak? Hey, everybody is talking about your great driving job with the bus.
Those jeeps really had a hard time keeping up.
Yeah, well, uh, I wasn't driving.
- It was Amanda here.
- Oh.
- However did you manage? - Oh, I've had plenty of practice.
I once drove the boys into New York City on Thanksgiving Day for Macy's parade.
[LEE GRUNTS.]
AMANDA: There.
LEE: Okay.
Oh, let's see.
- Ah, good as new.
- Good.
- I can sew those pants up for you.
- No, no, no.
No, thank you.
[LEE CHUCKLES.]
Look, uh, they'll be giving you a ride home.
I guess I'll be seeing you, maybe.
But then again, maybe I won't.
You know.
Yeah.
Well, just in case you don't do you think you could say something nice about my work? I mean, after all, I think I did contribute something here.
Hmm.
Okay.
Uh, your work was not bad.
- Not bad? Yeah.
Not bad.
Not bad.
Well, you think my legs are just okay I think your work was just not bad.
That is so petty.
Care to change your opinion?