Serie Noire (2014) s01e04 Episode Script
Episode 4
1 He didn't try to kill himself He did it to help his writing! It's me.
We could meet at my place.
You could give me my keys back.
-At the downtown Delta.
-What about Juliette? -Bruno, this is Patrick.
-Hi, Patrick.
You can't be afraid if you want to live in Marc Arcand's World.
A father who rapes his 8-year-old son Do you think it's funny? I can't believe you're wearing this again! You should tell Bruno to increase the funding for the wardrobe.
Recycling has its limits! This still looks good! Well, there's something crusty -on the left sleeve.
-Duly noted.
Still no news from your girlfriend? No.
Yuck! What are you doing? I'm kicking you out.
-Mom doesn't love you anymore -Why do you say that? She looks tired when she looks at you, even when she's not tired.
I don't understand what you mean.
As soon as she sees you, something happens in her face, and it looks like she's tired, even if she's not.
It doesn't make any sense.
Did you find something? You would think it would be easier if she had the same effect on you.
But you love her.
Good choice.
What a beautiful doll! -What doll is this? -It's the one I want.
I think you could find a more beautiful, but less expensive doll.
What do you mean? You're a famous writer.
It's 120 bucks! Juliette, wait for us by the candy dispenser.
Try to come up with a name for your new doll.
I'm not paying 120 bucks for a stupid and ugly little doll! Sometimes, I find you so underwhelming Lesson number one: in Marc Arcand's world, human laws don't apply.
Here We can't leave that doll naked.
I'll wait for you outside with Juliette.
Come on, let's get out of here.
-Are you Patrick? -Yes! It's here.
-Thank you -OK, stay here.
Is everything OK? Yes, thank you.
It's really nice of you I'm a little embarrassed.
Come on! It's my pleasure to help you.
I'm sorry you had to come all the way over here Stop it right now.
That's the way I see it: we're a team and we help each other.
-$135.
57.
-Yes.
Excuse me.
Let me take my card back.
I forgot I need to find more things.
Pierre asked his friends at the Justice Department to freeze Valérie's bank accounts.
Suddenly, Valérie is broke.
She's hungry, she's cold.
The situation feels hopeless.
No After all After all Sir! Dennis the Menace! -Are you proud of your Dad, Juliette? -Yes! -Let's go! -First lesson completed brilliantly.
So you can't reach your girlfriend? -No.
-Did you try her place? -Yes.
-It bothers you, right? Where did you meet? -At the community college.
-Is she one of your students? No, I How do you know I teach at the community college? -Charlène told me.
-But I didn't say anything to Charlène.
I did some research.
Do you mind if we leave this suitcase at your place for a while? No.
Do you have a wardrobe? Yes, in my bedroom.
Thank you.
That's very nice of you.
Where does your girlfriend live? Why do you want to know? One of my girls stopped answering my calls once.
We found her two weeks later curled up into a ball, in her bathtub.
-Nobody curled up into a ball? -Nobody.
She left just a minute ago.
It's still warm JUSTICE'S LAW EPISODE 1 SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT THE LAW BUT THE LAW DOESN'T KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT HER.
Caroline Michaud plays Valérie Lagacé.
She went to the Justice's Law Christmas party following her agent's advice.
But her agent doesn't know, and in fact nobody does, that she decided to quit her role and pass on season two.
Hi! My name is Simon.
Caroline.
Nice meeting you.
Congratulations on you performance.
I really like it.
Thank you.
I play a role as well.
I play a character named Marc Arcand.
-Yes, that's you.
-Yes! It was my first time on a set.
-I really loved it.
-It's great.
What a wonderful team! Excuse me, I need to What's wrong with her? She's been grouchy all night! Look, Louise, I don't want to spoil your party, I'm having a great time, but I must tell you -what I have in mind.
-I don't like your tone! You probably won't like what I'm going to say either.
I made a decision.
I decided Tell me How did it end at the parlor? We went out to do some research.
Together! It was a true adventure! Those guys have a breakthrough writing method.
It's revolutionary, if you want my opinion.
They are geniuses.
It's the first time I've ever seen that in 35 years of television.
Can we open the champagne? Are they making an announcement? No.
It's just a little party.
Please, be discreet, OK? We have a drink, then we leave.
-Hello! -Hi.
She seems to be in a terrible mood.
I don't think so.
-Hi, man! -Hi, man.
Holy shit! Open bar! You brought your new friend.
He's convinced that season 2 will revolve around his character.
-What did you tell him? -Nothing.
He's crazy.
But thanks to him, I've been gathering some useful material.
Same here.
We have to compare notes tomorrow.
I'm excited.
Jean-Guy told the broadcaster that we are screenwriting pioneers! -I agree.
-It's too late to turn back now.
The college fired me.
I missed my classes without notifying them! -Are you having fun? -Did you invite Léa? Yes, she was with us last year.
What? Did I make a mistake? Excuse me.
-What are you doing here? -I received an invitation.
Louise and Henri like me a lot.
You do look better.
Why didn't you call me? I've been trying to reach you! Here! I don't want to talk to you.
Come on I'm still pretty frail.
Don't you realize? Thank you.
No, it's I wanted to make sure I told you how much I appreciate your work.
-Really? Thank you! -Yes.
Also, we talked about it, and we decided to expand your role in season 2.
-What? -We did! We want to tell the story of your redemption.
You've been through hell, but you're coming out of it.
Justice's Law: Redemption.
That's the title.
You'll be on the poster.
-What? -We'll keep the girl too, but she'll be smaller, in the corner.
Do you mind being topless on the poster? No, I don't mind at all You'll just have to work on the character and understand his dark side.
She obviously knows everything.
My mother must have opened her mouth.
Who cares anyway? Let's forget about the suicide idea.
-You're on to something with Charlène.
-Come on! Can you stop for a second and realize I feel bad for lying to Léa? The writers! This party is for you.
We're here to celebrate your talent, and you guys You look like you're having the shittiest time! You're having some lady issues.
We don't have any problems.
You're not getting laid.
I know that face.
OK, I'm leaving! Yes, get the hell out of here Denis, do you want some jewelry? You could give it to someone.
Look It's a beautiful one.
I'm going to sleep as well.
-All alone? -Talk to you tomorrow? Is Judith staying in a hotel? How do you know that? That must slow down your writing I can help you.
Good night! Denis! You can refuse my help, but you can't prevent me from helping you.
I'm not waiting until the Holidays are over! -Louise, you're drunk.
-No! We'll meet after the Holidays.
I'm not drunk! I'm going to drive my car, and I'm perfectly able to hear what you have to say.
OK! But I don't see any way to soften the blow: we're doing season two, but without your two guys.
-My two guys? -Your two nutcases.
No! It's the presentation.
It didn't go well My decision is final.
It has nothing to do with the presentation.
They're stupid.
I don't like them.
It can't be them.
-Let's talk later.
Merry Christmas.
-Right -Yes? -Someone just cancelled on me.
I'm taking the afternoon off so I can do my Christmas shopping.
-Will you buy me a present? -Why? I don't know.
I was just kidding.
I have to run.
Can you pick me up at 4:40? You're early! It's never too early for hopelessness.
The taps are not ready.
It's all right.
Give me a bottled beer and a Bloody Caesar for starters.
So? Merry shitty Christmas! Judith won't call me back.
I'm spending Christmas Eve alone with Juliette! Did you talk to Louise? No! She won't me call back either.
I must have left her five messages.
She's avoiding us.
It doesn't feel right.
We're clearly getting fired.
Let's not freak out yet.
I'll try to call her again.
I'll call you as soon as I hear something.
-What are you up to? -Freaking out.
Drinking.
That's great! Bye.
Hello? -Are we fired? That's it? -Denis We heard you in the stairs, at the party.
-What's your position? -I can't talk, I'm in a hurry.
I'm going to Florida.
I'll be back on January 4.
You could at least tell me if I'm going to lose my job.
Juliette, stay here.
No one answers the phone.
All the offices are closed.
We'll meet as soon as I come back.
I swear.
Answer my question.
What's your position? Shit, the cab is here! Look, January 4 January 4, OK? Merry Christmas! Thank you.
Hello! It's for your car? -Yes.
-I'll need your stub I will also need your keycard.
-Why? -Just a preventive measure.
We've had several car thefts.
Thank you.
-I'll be right back.
-Thank you.
-Hi.
-Hello.
My card doesn't work anymore.
I can't get into my room.
-What's your room number? -It should work now.
-Thank you.
Very cool.
-Yes? -Yes, hi! This is Jacques, from the customer service.
We're doing a promotional campaign.
We're offering a complimentary one-hour massage.
For two.
Your room has been selected.
Really? This is great! We want to do everything we can to help you enjoy your stay with us.
You are being annoying! Look, I'll eat afterwards.
I swear.
Just one more.
I think you've had enough.
And I think everyone agrees with me.
Look, it's almost 5 pm.
Come on! One last one! It's Happy Hour! Mathieu, come over here.
I have an idea.
I'm going to take a piss.
And while I'm away, you can set a beer right here, right in front of me, and nobody will notice.
This is Patrick's phone.
Could you please come and get him? -I'm sorry, Mom.
-You don't need to apologize.
But why do you drink so much? Is it part of the screenwriting process? Yes, a little.
-Are you trying to kill yourself? -No, I'm not! In terms of presents I've found a great little set of natural products.
There's a deodorant stick, dish soap, hand soap, and it's all olive-based.
Do you think Léa might like that? Mom, Léa is not coming tonight.
What do you mean? She's supposed to give a present to Aunt Thérèse.
She's not coming, because you told her the things I told you not to tell her.
That's really silly.
Did he give you his last name? He just said his name was Jacques.
-Weird, no? -It's all right.
This is disgusting! Delta Hotel, this is Antoine.
How can I help you? What kind of hotel is this? Two lesbians are fucking non-stop next door! They're are deafeningly loud! It sounds like they're breaking everything! My room was expensive enough.
Can I have some peace and quiet? Do you know the room number? I'll send someone.
-I think it's room 237.
-237.
Thank you! Thank you! It's crazy! I can't pay this much! My credit cards are maxed out! We have to fight, it's not fair! What the hell? It's my car! I'm going to make you a nice cup of coffee, and afterwards, you'll drink a lot of water.
You'll feel better.
-My God! -All right.
He's OK.
What are you doing here? We were worried.
Good evening, Madam.
-I'm Bruno.
I'm a friend of Patrick.
-Kimberly.
I'm his mother.
-Claudio.
-Nice meeting you.
Why are you here? You were supposed to meet with Charlène.
She's a friend of ours.
Oh, Charlène! We tried to call you, but you didn't answer.
We were worried.
I'm sorry Really sorry -Let's put him in bed.
-Don't worry.
-We'll take care of it.
-Thank you, it's so nice of you.
Do you want me to pick her up? I'm here I'm OK Let's take his clothes off before we put him under the blanket.
Poor little guy! His girlfriend left him, and to top it off, he heard that he's going to lose his job as a screenwriter.
-Why? -It's the broadcaster.
He called Patrick a nutcase.
But personally, I think it's actually a good thing.
Patrick! It's not just a journalist telling you to quit.
Life is giving you a hint.
Is there anything we can do? Yes.
We'll break his legs, right, Bruno? I'll take a piss on his windshield And then, we'll fuck him up! OK? Damn! Have some rest.
Can we come in? What's going on? Can you pay our cab fare? Thank you! Bye.
-What are you doing here? -I was in the neighborhood.
I thought we could have a beer.
But I see that your family's back.
Yes! Looks like it! You'll have a merry Christmas and it'll give you the energy to write.
Right! But actually, no.
What do you mean, "no"? I have the feeling we're about to get fired.
I think the broadcaster doesn't like us anymore.
It's over.
I'm sorry.
-Come on, are you joking? -No.
Merry Christmas! Really? The poinsettia on the table? -Yes, it's Christmas after all.
-We could extend the table.
No, it's perfect as is.
Do you any plans for later? I'm celebrating at home.
I invited tons of friends.
Turkey, cranberry sauce -It's a big deal -Awesome.
I still think it's weird that you work on Christmas Eve.
Are you part of the family now? No, she isn't.
Maude is a friend.
She's going though hard times, and we're really happy to be here for her.
At school, they told us that Christmas is a family holiday, and since Maude is here, I thought she was part of the family now.
No, Maude is not part of this family at all.
And Christmas is not a family holiday.
It's Jesus' holiday.
And Jesus helped people in need.
That's what we're doing with Maude.
She's in need Like poor people? Yes Like the blind or a leper.
You have to understand that all this is strictly temporary.
Maude has her own family.
She'll go back to them soon.
To each his own family.
Will you give her a present later on? -Maude? -Yes! No.
-Hello.
-Can you please buy some eggnog? -Are you coming? -Yes, I'll be there soon.
I bought some wine glasses for Aunt Thérèse.
It throws the gift exchange off balance, but at least she won't feel cheated.
-Eggnog! Don't forget! -OK.
-What is it now? -Come on! If we're going to work together, I'm going to have to ask you to be a little more polite.
-Who's speaking? -Claudio.
-Claudio? -Come on! I tucked you in last night! You must remember me ! I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.
Listen, Bruno gave me the green light.
I'm ready to go.
Is 3457 Bloomfield the right address? You're getting your job back.
Bruno said it's his Christmas present.
Here.
Give this to my mother.
She's hungry.
Oh, I know.
-Should we wait another 15 minutes? -Yes, that's perfect.
-There's someone outside.
-Someone? Someone is walking around the house, and it's not Santa Claus.
Nicolas, go with your sister.
I think he knows something's going on.
I'll be quick! I need to talk to Charlène, it's an emergency.
There is no Charlène here.
Take it easy.
I am Charlène's driver.
Look.
You want to mess with me? Is that what you want? Charlène! Patrick? Out of my way.
I'm her driver.
You want to mess with me? Get out of here.
-What are you doing? -I'm working! -Are you alone? -What are you doing here? I just got a call from Bruno.
There was a cancellation.
You can go home.
What do you mean? Come on, let's leave.
You'll be paid the same fee.
Well Santa Claus! It's Santa Claus! Julie, Nicolas, it's Santa Claus! Santa Claus, come and join us! Have a seat.
We have kept a nice armchair for you.
And we even have some cookies.
Julie, give him a cookie.
There you go! Sit down, honey.
Have a seat, Santa Claus.
I know you brought some presents for the children, but before you give them, I'd like to say a little something.
I remember, when I was a kid, I used to write you letters asking for presents.
I would make a list, and the last item was always "a present of your choice".
Secretly, I was hoping it would be the most wonderful present in the world.
And I thought, well, if anyone knows how to pick a gift, it must be Santa Claus! But you never gave me that gift.
I waited for it, but it never came.
But one day, years later, I understood why you couldn't give me the most wonderful gift in the world.
The most wonderful present can't be manufactured in your workshop.
The most wonderful gift in the world is Julie and Nicolas! You are my two loves! You are the most wonderful present in the world.
I love you.
Merry Christmas! OK, I'm done talking.
Now Santa Claus can talk.
Santa Claus! Santa Claus thinks you children are lucky.
Santa Claus didn't have a good father like you do.
I'm sorry.
Merry Christmas.
Stay here! Excuse me.
Sorry to bother you.
A friend of mine has a big problem.
He needs you to embrace the Christmas spirit.
OK.
What's going on? I have an envelope for you.
You seem to have a great family life.
-Jean-Marc! -No need to scream.
OK.
Where's my brother? You have 10 seconds before I call the police.
I don't know who your brother is, but I know who your wife is.
So this is my friend's name, and from now on, starting right now, you will be super nice wit him, OK? No! Oh, no! OK.
Now, I need some explanations.
What's your fucking problem? You have a problem with love? With tenderness? What are you doing? Stop it! I'm really sorry.
When I find out what happened, I'll be able to give you an explanation.
I hope I didn't ruin your evening.
No, I don't think so.
-Your guests are here already? -Yes, I'm sure.
-Merry Christmas! -Merry Christmas! I missed the party.
Same here.
I feel alone.
Do you want to fuck? I wouldn't mind.
I somehow doubt that Bruno is going to pay me for this afternoon.
Do you know this man? No.
I'm sorry.
I don't remember any of this.
We could meet at my place.
You could give me my keys back.
-At the downtown Delta.
-What about Juliette? -Bruno, this is Patrick.
-Hi, Patrick.
You can't be afraid if you want to live in Marc Arcand's World.
A father who rapes his 8-year-old son Do you think it's funny? I can't believe you're wearing this again! You should tell Bruno to increase the funding for the wardrobe.
Recycling has its limits! This still looks good! Well, there's something crusty -on the left sleeve.
-Duly noted.
Still no news from your girlfriend? No.
Yuck! What are you doing? I'm kicking you out.
-Mom doesn't love you anymore -Why do you say that? She looks tired when she looks at you, even when she's not tired.
I don't understand what you mean.
As soon as she sees you, something happens in her face, and it looks like she's tired, even if she's not.
It doesn't make any sense.
Did you find something? You would think it would be easier if she had the same effect on you.
But you love her.
Good choice.
What a beautiful doll! -What doll is this? -It's the one I want.
I think you could find a more beautiful, but less expensive doll.
What do you mean? You're a famous writer.
It's 120 bucks! Juliette, wait for us by the candy dispenser.
Try to come up with a name for your new doll.
I'm not paying 120 bucks for a stupid and ugly little doll! Sometimes, I find you so underwhelming Lesson number one: in Marc Arcand's world, human laws don't apply.
Here We can't leave that doll naked.
I'll wait for you outside with Juliette.
Come on, let's get out of here.
-Are you Patrick? -Yes! It's here.
-Thank you -OK, stay here.
Is everything OK? Yes, thank you.
It's really nice of you I'm a little embarrassed.
Come on! It's my pleasure to help you.
I'm sorry you had to come all the way over here Stop it right now.
That's the way I see it: we're a team and we help each other.
-$135.
57.
-Yes.
Excuse me.
Let me take my card back.
I forgot I need to find more things.
Pierre asked his friends at the Justice Department to freeze Valérie's bank accounts.
Suddenly, Valérie is broke.
She's hungry, she's cold.
The situation feels hopeless.
No After all After all Sir! Dennis the Menace! -Are you proud of your Dad, Juliette? -Yes! -Let's go! -First lesson completed brilliantly.
So you can't reach your girlfriend? -No.
-Did you try her place? -Yes.
-It bothers you, right? Where did you meet? -At the community college.
-Is she one of your students? No, I How do you know I teach at the community college? -Charlène told me.
-But I didn't say anything to Charlène.
I did some research.
Do you mind if we leave this suitcase at your place for a while? No.
Do you have a wardrobe? Yes, in my bedroom.
Thank you.
That's very nice of you.
Where does your girlfriend live? Why do you want to know? One of my girls stopped answering my calls once.
We found her two weeks later curled up into a ball, in her bathtub.
-Nobody curled up into a ball? -Nobody.
She left just a minute ago.
It's still warm JUSTICE'S LAW EPISODE 1 SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT THE LAW BUT THE LAW DOESN'T KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT HER.
Caroline Michaud plays Valérie Lagacé.
She went to the Justice's Law Christmas party following her agent's advice.
But her agent doesn't know, and in fact nobody does, that she decided to quit her role and pass on season two.
Hi! My name is Simon.
Caroline.
Nice meeting you.
Congratulations on you performance.
I really like it.
Thank you.
I play a role as well.
I play a character named Marc Arcand.
-Yes, that's you.
-Yes! It was my first time on a set.
-I really loved it.
-It's great.
What a wonderful team! Excuse me, I need to What's wrong with her? She's been grouchy all night! Look, Louise, I don't want to spoil your party, I'm having a great time, but I must tell you -what I have in mind.
-I don't like your tone! You probably won't like what I'm going to say either.
I made a decision.
I decided Tell me How did it end at the parlor? We went out to do some research.
Together! It was a true adventure! Those guys have a breakthrough writing method.
It's revolutionary, if you want my opinion.
They are geniuses.
It's the first time I've ever seen that in 35 years of television.
Can we open the champagne? Are they making an announcement? No.
It's just a little party.
Please, be discreet, OK? We have a drink, then we leave.
-Hello! -Hi.
She seems to be in a terrible mood.
I don't think so.
-Hi, man! -Hi, man.
Holy shit! Open bar! You brought your new friend.
He's convinced that season 2 will revolve around his character.
-What did you tell him? -Nothing.
He's crazy.
But thanks to him, I've been gathering some useful material.
Same here.
We have to compare notes tomorrow.
I'm excited.
Jean-Guy told the broadcaster that we are screenwriting pioneers! -I agree.
-It's too late to turn back now.
The college fired me.
I missed my classes without notifying them! -Are you having fun? -Did you invite Léa? Yes, she was with us last year.
What? Did I make a mistake? Excuse me.
-What are you doing here? -I received an invitation.
Louise and Henri like me a lot.
You do look better.
Why didn't you call me? I've been trying to reach you! Here! I don't want to talk to you.
Come on I'm still pretty frail.
Don't you realize? Thank you.
No, it's I wanted to make sure I told you how much I appreciate your work.
-Really? Thank you! -Yes.
Also, we talked about it, and we decided to expand your role in season 2.
-What? -We did! We want to tell the story of your redemption.
You've been through hell, but you're coming out of it.
Justice's Law: Redemption.
That's the title.
You'll be on the poster.
-What? -We'll keep the girl too, but she'll be smaller, in the corner.
Do you mind being topless on the poster? No, I don't mind at all You'll just have to work on the character and understand his dark side.
She obviously knows everything.
My mother must have opened her mouth.
Who cares anyway? Let's forget about the suicide idea.
-You're on to something with Charlène.
-Come on! Can you stop for a second and realize I feel bad for lying to Léa? The writers! This party is for you.
We're here to celebrate your talent, and you guys You look like you're having the shittiest time! You're having some lady issues.
We don't have any problems.
You're not getting laid.
I know that face.
OK, I'm leaving! Yes, get the hell out of here Denis, do you want some jewelry? You could give it to someone.
Look It's a beautiful one.
I'm going to sleep as well.
-All alone? -Talk to you tomorrow? Is Judith staying in a hotel? How do you know that? That must slow down your writing I can help you.
Good night! Denis! You can refuse my help, but you can't prevent me from helping you.
I'm not waiting until the Holidays are over! -Louise, you're drunk.
-No! We'll meet after the Holidays.
I'm not drunk! I'm going to drive my car, and I'm perfectly able to hear what you have to say.
OK! But I don't see any way to soften the blow: we're doing season two, but without your two guys.
-My two guys? -Your two nutcases.
No! It's the presentation.
It didn't go well My decision is final.
It has nothing to do with the presentation.
They're stupid.
I don't like them.
It can't be them.
-Let's talk later.
Merry Christmas.
-Right -Yes? -Someone just cancelled on me.
I'm taking the afternoon off so I can do my Christmas shopping.
-Will you buy me a present? -Why? I don't know.
I was just kidding.
I have to run.
Can you pick me up at 4:40? You're early! It's never too early for hopelessness.
The taps are not ready.
It's all right.
Give me a bottled beer and a Bloody Caesar for starters.
So? Merry shitty Christmas! Judith won't call me back.
I'm spending Christmas Eve alone with Juliette! Did you talk to Louise? No! She won't me call back either.
I must have left her five messages.
She's avoiding us.
It doesn't feel right.
We're clearly getting fired.
Let's not freak out yet.
I'll try to call her again.
I'll call you as soon as I hear something.
-What are you up to? -Freaking out.
Drinking.
That's great! Bye.
Hello? -Are we fired? That's it? -Denis We heard you in the stairs, at the party.
-What's your position? -I can't talk, I'm in a hurry.
I'm going to Florida.
I'll be back on January 4.
You could at least tell me if I'm going to lose my job.
Juliette, stay here.
No one answers the phone.
All the offices are closed.
We'll meet as soon as I come back.
I swear.
Answer my question.
What's your position? Shit, the cab is here! Look, January 4 January 4, OK? Merry Christmas! Thank you.
Hello! It's for your car? -Yes.
-I'll need your stub I will also need your keycard.
-Why? -Just a preventive measure.
We've had several car thefts.
Thank you.
-I'll be right back.
-Thank you.
-Hi.
-Hello.
My card doesn't work anymore.
I can't get into my room.
-What's your room number? -It should work now.
-Thank you.
Very cool.
-Yes? -Yes, hi! This is Jacques, from the customer service.
We're doing a promotional campaign.
We're offering a complimentary one-hour massage.
For two.
Your room has been selected.
Really? This is great! We want to do everything we can to help you enjoy your stay with us.
You are being annoying! Look, I'll eat afterwards.
I swear.
Just one more.
I think you've had enough.
And I think everyone agrees with me.
Look, it's almost 5 pm.
Come on! One last one! It's Happy Hour! Mathieu, come over here.
I have an idea.
I'm going to take a piss.
And while I'm away, you can set a beer right here, right in front of me, and nobody will notice.
This is Patrick's phone.
Could you please come and get him? -I'm sorry, Mom.
-You don't need to apologize.
But why do you drink so much? Is it part of the screenwriting process? Yes, a little.
-Are you trying to kill yourself? -No, I'm not! In terms of presents I've found a great little set of natural products.
There's a deodorant stick, dish soap, hand soap, and it's all olive-based.
Do you think Léa might like that? Mom, Léa is not coming tonight.
What do you mean? She's supposed to give a present to Aunt Thérèse.
She's not coming, because you told her the things I told you not to tell her.
That's really silly.
Did he give you his last name? He just said his name was Jacques.
-Weird, no? -It's all right.
This is disgusting! Delta Hotel, this is Antoine.
How can I help you? What kind of hotel is this? Two lesbians are fucking non-stop next door! They're are deafeningly loud! It sounds like they're breaking everything! My room was expensive enough.
Can I have some peace and quiet? Do you know the room number? I'll send someone.
-I think it's room 237.
-237.
Thank you! Thank you! It's crazy! I can't pay this much! My credit cards are maxed out! We have to fight, it's not fair! What the hell? It's my car! I'm going to make you a nice cup of coffee, and afterwards, you'll drink a lot of water.
You'll feel better.
-My God! -All right.
He's OK.
What are you doing here? We were worried.
Good evening, Madam.
-I'm Bruno.
I'm a friend of Patrick.
-Kimberly.
I'm his mother.
-Claudio.
-Nice meeting you.
Why are you here? You were supposed to meet with Charlène.
She's a friend of ours.
Oh, Charlène! We tried to call you, but you didn't answer.
We were worried.
I'm sorry Really sorry -Let's put him in bed.
-Don't worry.
-We'll take care of it.
-Thank you, it's so nice of you.
Do you want me to pick her up? I'm here I'm OK Let's take his clothes off before we put him under the blanket.
Poor little guy! His girlfriend left him, and to top it off, he heard that he's going to lose his job as a screenwriter.
-Why? -It's the broadcaster.
He called Patrick a nutcase.
But personally, I think it's actually a good thing.
Patrick! It's not just a journalist telling you to quit.
Life is giving you a hint.
Is there anything we can do? Yes.
We'll break his legs, right, Bruno? I'll take a piss on his windshield And then, we'll fuck him up! OK? Damn! Have some rest.
Can we come in? What's going on? Can you pay our cab fare? Thank you! Bye.
-What are you doing here? -I was in the neighborhood.
I thought we could have a beer.
But I see that your family's back.
Yes! Looks like it! You'll have a merry Christmas and it'll give you the energy to write.
Right! But actually, no.
What do you mean, "no"? I have the feeling we're about to get fired.
I think the broadcaster doesn't like us anymore.
It's over.
I'm sorry.
-Come on, are you joking? -No.
Merry Christmas! Really? The poinsettia on the table? -Yes, it's Christmas after all.
-We could extend the table.
No, it's perfect as is.
Do you any plans for later? I'm celebrating at home.
I invited tons of friends.
Turkey, cranberry sauce -It's a big deal -Awesome.
I still think it's weird that you work on Christmas Eve.
Are you part of the family now? No, she isn't.
Maude is a friend.
She's going though hard times, and we're really happy to be here for her.
At school, they told us that Christmas is a family holiday, and since Maude is here, I thought she was part of the family now.
No, Maude is not part of this family at all.
And Christmas is not a family holiday.
It's Jesus' holiday.
And Jesus helped people in need.
That's what we're doing with Maude.
She's in need Like poor people? Yes Like the blind or a leper.
You have to understand that all this is strictly temporary.
Maude has her own family.
She'll go back to them soon.
To each his own family.
Will you give her a present later on? -Maude? -Yes! No.
-Hello.
-Can you please buy some eggnog? -Are you coming? -Yes, I'll be there soon.
I bought some wine glasses for Aunt Thérèse.
It throws the gift exchange off balance, but at least she won't feel cheated.
-Eggnog! Don't forget! -OK.
-What is it now? -Come on! If we're going to work together, I'm going to have to ask you to be a little more polite.
-Who's speaking? -Claudio.
-Claudio? -Come on! I tucked you in last night! You must remember me ! I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.
Listen, Bruno gave me the green light.
I'm ready to go.
Is 3457 Bloomfield the right address? You're getting your job back.
Bruno said it's his Christmas present.
Here.
Give this to my mother.
She's hungry.
Oh, I know.
-Should we wait another 15 minutes? -Yes, that's perfect.
-There's someone outside.
-Someone? Someone is walking around the house, and it's not Santa Claus.
Nicolas, go with your sister.
I think he knows something's going on.
I'll be quick! I need to talk to Charlène, it's an emergency.
There is no Charlène here.
Take it easy.
I am Charlène's driver.
Look.
You want to mess with me? Is that what you want? Charlène! Patrick? Out of my way.
I'm her driver.
You want to mess with me? Get out of here.
-What are you doing? -I'm working! -Are you alone? -What are you doing here? I just got a call from Bruno.
There was a cancellation.
You can go home.
What do you mean? Come on, let's leave.
You'll be paid the same fee.
Well Santa Claus! It's Santa Claus! Julie, Nicolas, it's Santa Claus! Santa Claus, come and join us! Have a seat.
We have kept a nice armchair for you.
And we even have some cookies.
Julie, give him a cookie.
There you go! Sit down, honey.
Have a seat, Santa Claus.
I know you brought some presents for the children, but before you give them, I'd like to say a little something.
I remember, when I was a kid, I used to write you letters asking for presents.
I would make a list, and the last item was always "a present of your choice".
Secretly, I was hoping it would be the most wonderful present in the world.
And I thought, well, if anyone knows how to pick a gift, it must be Santa Claus! But you never gave me that gift.
I waited for it, but it never came.
But one day, years later, I understood why you couldn't give me the most wonderful gift in the world.
The most wonderful present can't be manufactured in your workshop.
The most wonderful gift in the world is Julie and Nicolas! You are my two loves! You are the most wonderful present in the world.
I love you.
Merry Christmas! OK, I'm done talking.
Now Santa Claus can talk.
Santa Claus! Santa Claus thinks you children are lucky.
Santa Claus didn't have a good father like you do.
I'm sorry.
Merry Christmas.
Stay here! Excuse me.
Sorry to bother you.
A friend of mine has a big problem.
He needs you to embrace the Christmas spirit.
OK.
What's going on? I have an envelope for you.
You seem to have a great family life.
-Jean-Marc! -No need to scream.
OK.
Where's my brother? You have 10 seconds before I call the police.
I don't know who your brother is, but I know who your wife is.
So this is my friend's name, and from now on, starting right now, you will be super nice wit him, OK? No! Oh, no! OK.
Now, I need some explanations.
What's your fucking problem? You have a problem with love? With tenderness? What are you doing? Stop it! I'm really sorry.
When I find out what happened, I'll be able to give you an explanation.
I hope I didn't ruin your evening.
No, I don't think so.
-Your guests are here already? -Yes, I'm sure.
-Merry Christmas! -Merry Christmas! I missed the party.
Same here.
I feel alone.
Do you want to fuck? I wouldn't mind.
I somehow doubt that Bruno is going to pay me for this afternoon.
Do you know this man? No.
I'm sorry.
I don't remember any of this.