Sex/Life (2021) s01e04 Episode Script

1
New York can feel like
a dream sometimes.
And I came here looking for mine.
For a life I couldn't
have back in Georgia.
And me and Sash, we found that life.
Together.
All the girls get together and rule ♪
All the girls ♪
We were so damn shiny back then,
you could see us from 30,000 feet.
Sure, we did tons of crazy shit,
but we always did it together.
Wait, wait, wait.
Oh, my God.
We need beers.
Do you wanna help me
get some beers, Sash?
- Yes.
- Mmm. Hells, yeah.
Four beers coming right up.
Jesus, your guy is so fucking hot!
- Oh.
- Oh, no wonder you're never home lately.
Um, excuse me.
Your guy is so fucking hot.
But fun fact, mine has a giant joystick.
- Ooh.
- Yes.
Painful giant or good giant?
Mmm, just-right giant.
I mean, you need to try it.
It's kind of a crime if you don't.
You mean, like a swap?
Mm-hm.
'Cause truth, it's kind of a crime
if you don't try the tongue on Taye.
Girl, the way he works
it in my kitty cat?
- Ooh!
- Mm!
Mad skills!
- Okay. Is this insane?
- Hell, no.
- They're just dudes.
- Yeah.
It's you and me always.
Always. Yes.
Sorry, it takes an awful long
time to get a beer around here.
What are you girls talking about?
You.
Sweet. Shit like this never
happened back in Ohio.
Hey, where'd the pretty ladies go?
We were thick as thieves.
Nothing could break us.
You and me.
Always.
You awake?
Mm-mm.
Was I right about his
next-level skills or what?
So right.
Four stars.
Okay, but we still got
papers due in six hours.
The perfect peen was a bit distracting,
didn't keep me from
outlining in my head.
Oh, but my head weighs a billion
pounds. I'm never gonna make it.
- Like hell we won't.
- No!
Girl, you know we can whip
up something A-plus-plus
for Sumner by class.
Come on. We got this.
Whoo.
Okay. Ready?
Mm-hm.
Billz, this is brilliant.
I mean, this is brilliant too.
We are doing some
genius-level work here.
Look how hot we look when we doing it.
- Oh, girl. You know it.
- Hey.
- What's for breakfast?
- H&H Bagels on the corner.
- We like sesame. Toasted.
- Toasted.
Sasha and I have never had secrets.
Till now.
Of course Sasha succumbed.
Brad has that effect on women.
And I meant what I said,
I have no right to be upset.
What matters is,
I shouldn't have watched.
I have to fix this.
Unless it's too late and
she already knows.
I mean, Brad must have told her, right?
I think it feels like
a waffles kind of
It's supposed to cool down today.
The kids will probably need sweaters.
Mm-hm.
I'm gonna take a shower.
Hi, it's Sasha. Leave me a message.
Hey, Sash. Um, I got your text.
Call me back when you can.
I need to, uh, talk to you too.
- Yo.
- Dev.
Hey, man, um
Sorry. I'm not gonna make this morning.
I'm gonna need you to cover for me.
Dude, again? Seriously?
For someone who became
the big guy around here,
you're not around here much.
Yeah, okay, I got it.
Just help me out here.
Okay? I've got a
I have to go to this thing
at Hudson's school.
Apparently he's having a
hard time transitioning.
Uh, they want us both to
come in for this conference.
I'm having a hard time transitioning
into doing two people's jobs.
Okay? There better be a
Frappuccino in this for me
when you come back.
Extra whip.
I'll be in as soon as
I can. Thanks, bud.
All right.
You can do this. Look,
you are such a big boy.
I mean, you don't need Mommy
looking over your shoulder
all day long, right?
Oh, perfect.
Hudson, I have a surprise for you.
Would you like to come for
a play date after school
with Hannah and some of the other kids?
There will be Paw Patrol
and a trampoline,
and we're gonna make fudgsicles!
Don't worry, unsweetened oat
milk, carrot powder and agave,
no dairy, nuts, no sugar.
Oh, okay. Well, what
do you think, honey?
Okay.
- Okay. All right!
- Okay.
Well, that sounds fun,
but for now, Hudson,
go find Hannah and Rory at the blocks.
Have a great day, sweetie.
I love you, Mommy.
I love you too.
Caroline, I mean, thanks so much
for being so sweet with him,
and that is such a nice offer.
But, um, I'm just not sure what
we're gonna do after school today.
Well, I am.
My nanny is picking up
the kids so you and me
and some of the other moms
can have a day in the city.
Judy read a Times article
on SoHo hot spots.
It will be like a treasure
hunt. You have to come.
That sounds amazing.
Yeah. Um, but you know
what? I have the baby
and there's just something
really pressing
that I need to do, so
You never say yes to us.
You need a break. You deserve it.
Bring the baby. That's
what strollers are for.
Actually, it might be good for
me to get into the city today.
Yes! That's more like it.
- Yeah.
- I am forcing you to have fun with us.
- Okay. All right.
- Come on!
Excuse me. Can I help you?
Nope, I'm good.
Yeah, I signed them off a
scratch track demo. Mm-hm.
They're that good.
- Hold on. I'll call you back.
- Excuse me.
It's okay, Julie. I've got this.
I'm Cooper Connelly.
I know who you are.
It's nice to see you with
your clothes on, mate.
I was wondering when you'd finally
get the balls to talk to me.
I guess she told you.
She told me what?
So you're I mean,
you're talking to Billie.
I ran into her.
- Sent her a text.
- A text?
What the fuck?
Dude, it's a text. Okay?
It's not a big deal.
You don't get to tell
me what's a big deal.
Now listen to me.
Stay the fuck away from my wife.
Fucking piece of shit.
So this whole area is
a historic landmark.
Not just the buildings
but the cobblestones too.
So old!
I wish we had a Zuhair Murad by us.
Oh, it's so chic.
- Am I too old to wear that?
- You could totally wear that.
Look at your legs.
I wish Sasha would call me back.
This neighborhood was ground zero
for our crazy nights on the town.
This is where it all happened.
Where I felt like I was my best self.
Nice jacket.
That little army-navy gem
has served you well,
but it's time for an upgrade.
Come on. Let's go spend your rent.
Bingo.
Mmm?
- Oh, honey, yes! Yeah!
- Yes?
Okay, come on. Oh, my God.
I told him 9:30 and it's almost 10.
It's right there. It's right there. Oh!
- Careful, ladies.
- Yeah.
Thank you, Officer Handsome.
Billie.
Oh, hi! Hey. Sorry.
- Sorry we're late.
- No, I get it.
Takes time to travel here
from the, uh, Victorian era.
Hey, we take "costume
optional" very seriously.
- We always do it up for Voltaire.
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Now. Sasha, this is Brad.
And Brad, this is Sasha.
- Kossi's friend.
- I asked you to give her a ride home.
Looks like you gave her
a lot more than that.
You know you scare the
shit out of me, right?
Good.
Welcome to the party, dreamboat.
Hi!
- Come on, just let me see.
- Not yet.
That's it.
All done.
- Thanks.
- Okay, I'm going on a break.
You guys take your time.
It's you and me.
Brad and Billie. Two B's.
Forever.
I love you.
I love you so fucking much.
I love you too.
Oh, my God.
- I'm so sorry.
- No, come here. Come here.
I'm not done with you yet.
- Billie!
- We got you red velvet.
- This is a cupcake store now?
- What's wrong, honey?
This used to be a tattoo parlor.
Everything's changed.
This place used to be so different.
I used to be different.
You've been here before?
I lived here.
Right around the corner.
- I mean, my boyfriend did.
- Ooh!
- Her boyfriend.
- Who was he?
- He was a record producer, but
- A record producer?
That is so cool.
No, it is not cool.
It's a real problem. I mean, I can't
I can't stop thinking about him.
Like nonstop.
And it's fucking up everything,
even with my best friend.
It's okay. You don't
have to talk about it.
- We'll stop asking.
- I just
I miss it, you know? I miss it so much.
That part of me, you know, that I
thought was over when I met Cooper,
but now it's, like, screaming
from inside me, "I'm still here!"
You know, this version of
me before all of this.
If the Billie who was here ten
years ago could see me now
I mean, cupcakes.
What the fuck am I doing?
I'm
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I know I should be happy.
But I'm going through, like, a
major fucking crisis right now.
Honey, you're not in crisis.
You're married.
Well
Everyone has doubts sometimes.
You get stuck in a routine,
you start to wonder
about the road not taken.
The past is sneaky like that.
It helps to talk about it. You have us.
- I have to go. You know
- No, please.
There's something that
I really need to go do.
You get Hudson over his
freak-out, super dad?
Hmm?
Oh, yeah, no, he'll be fine.
Come on. What's going on with
you? You're all over the place.
I'm just dealing with
some weird shit at home.
I love weird shit. Spill.
Come here.
It's Billie.
She's been writing in her
journal about her ex-boyfriend
and all the sex they used to have.
Like, like epic sex.
And I read it.
I mean, every graphic,
X-rated detail, and I can't stop.
Holy shit, Billie's freaky.
It's like you're living in an
actual porno. Can I read it?
Okay, this isn't just some
trippy fantasy of hers.
Turns out, she's talking to the
guy. God knows what else.
Do you think she's actually cheating?
Honestly, I don't know. I
If she was, she wouldn't need to
fantasize about it in her journal.
Right?
Then I don't see what the problem is.
So she's a horny housewife.
Big deal. Welcome to suburbia.
It is a big deal.
I haven't done half the shit
that she's writing about.
This guy's some fantasy stallion,
and turns out she is insatiable.
I mean, literally, like, the most
sexual person I've ever met.
Sorry. Picturing.
We just had two kids, you know?
It's not like I don't
know how to fuck her
or that I haven't tried
some of this stuff before.
Yeah, you have.
She's the mother of my children.
I don't need to think about her
being slammed by some guy
in the back of a downtown club in
front of anybody that walks in.
- That is so hot.
- I mean Okay, what
Hey, but you are too.
Look
the truth is
I'm just not that into it sometimes.
All right? You know, the equipment
takes a little longer to work
these days, you know?
So, what do want me to
Postmate you some Viagra?
Get over it!
Neither one of us is 18 anymore.
Chicks have always been into you.
If you haven't done half
the crazy shit Billie has,
it's not because no one wanted to.
You've just been playing
this nice guy forever.
- I am a nice guy.
- Look where that got you.
You're so focused at work,
you're busy being super dad,
you've forgotten you.
We're going out tonight.
We're going out tonight,
we're gonna work that
big-dick energy back up.
- What does that even mean?
- Okay.
Billie's reveling in her glory days.
Don't you miss yours?
- I'm not gonna cheat on my wife, Devon.
- No shit!
Okay, we're gonna go out. Right?
We're gonna test your market
value with some fillies.
While they're pining away over
you, just like the good old days,
and you feel that pheromone
rush tingling all over,
yeah, you're gonna
You're gonna bring that savage
BDE home to your wife
and you're gonna satiate
her insatiable ass.
Okay. That sounds adorable.
Really. Heart-warming. But no.
I'm telling you, Coop, women are witchy.
They can sense when another
woman's hot for their man.
Yeah, but I'm not trying to
pour gas on this fire, Devon.
I'm trying to put it out.
I'm pretty sure the BDE
is not gonna do that.
Lucky for you, I'm sure enough
for the both of us. Okay?
Look at me,
- this is gonna be fun. Yeah.
- No.
- No. No!
- Yeah.
- Hey.
- Billie.
- Hey.
- I've, uh
I've been, uh, trying to reach you.
I know. I got slammed reading
the galley of my new book.
The editor needs it by 6
and I'm about to teach,
but, um, listen, I really
need to talk to you.
Me first. Okay?
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Why are you sorry?
I'm the one who's sorry.
I had sex with Brad last night.
He stopped by my apartment,
and I wasn't going to,
I swear, I wasn't
- I know.
- I just
I know. I know all of it.
How do you know?
Uh
Because
I watched you.
Brad's been calling me, texting,
and then last night he FaceTimed.
I should have turned it off.
I know. But I didn't.
I watched you guys.
I watched all of it.
Holy shit.
That sick Aussie fuck!
Wait, how did my ass look?
If you were watching,
I would've tried harder.
Given you the VIP show.
Your ass looked pretty damn good to me.
Oh, thank you.
I've been doing mad squats.
I'm glad they haven't gone to waste.
So you're not upset?
With you? Never.
We've seen each other
do so much crazy shit.
Okay, good.
But, listen, you are playing with fire.
You need to put down
the Brad matches now.
I know.
What did he say?
You said he's been calling.
Writing in your journal is one thing.
Making an instruction manual
for your husband, fine.
But talking to Brad?
What did he say?
That he's been trying not to
think about me for eight years
and now he's fucked.
No.
This is crossing a motherfucking
line. You need to shut it down.
- Now.
- It just happened.
Please. Brad is not
some all-powerful god.
And I am not your sexual avatar
for an obsession that
is gonna destroy you.
No more Brad.
At all.
- Promise me you'll stop.
- I'm sorry. I should go.
Hey.
Promise me.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
I promise.
I promise.
B?
Are you okay?
I have a tourist map of SoHo
in my purse. You know?
So how okay can I be?
Yes.
Yes. Am I right or am I right, huh?
See, this is what I'm talking about.
It's like your carefree
days of yesteryear, bud.
You are like a really full-of-shit
Yoda. You know that, right?
I cannot believe you
talked me into this.
I should be with my family.
Hey, look, we used to come here
every day after work, and you know what?
You enjoyed it.
That was like a lifetime ago, Dev.
Exactly.
You need to remember who you were.
Billie's out there thinking
about her loved-up past.
So should you.
- Hot women wanted you.
- Okay.
- That's the BDE you gotta bring home.
- All right, I got it.
What the ?
Well, lookie here.
Who just happens to be sitting
at the bar? Waiting for you.
Okay, what did you do?
- Remember who you were.
- No, no, no.
I'm gonna go to the bar, get us a drink.
Hey, listen to me. Listen to me.
You're a firecracker. Hi, Em.
- Cooper.
- Em.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- You never age. You look incredible.
- Thank you.
- I mean, God, so do you.
- It's really good to see you.
Such a nice surprise when Devon called.
Next stop, 125th Street.
Sasha's right.
I am playing with fire.
He may not be a god, but he's
always been impossible to resist.
What time's your flight?
I have to be at LaGuardia in 45 minutes.
Do you know how beautiful
you look right now?
I really, really have to go.
Georgia will still be
there next weekend.
Hmm?
But my family reunion won't.
Come on.
It doesn't get any better than this, B.
I love you.
I love you too.
Billie! I'm so glad you're
okay. We were worried.
I'm so sorry I ran off like that.
You were so nice to
organize all of this and
Do not spend another
second worrying about it.
The kids are knee-deep in Legos.
Let's just let them keep playing.
And you can come sit,
have a glass of wine with us?
I shouldn't. I left Ellary with Olga.
If she wakes up
She'll give her a bottle.
Or she'll call you.
Stay.
We really are your friends.
At least we wanna be.
That sounds great.
So work sounds good. How's Matt doing?
I haven't seen him in forever.
Me neither. We divorced
a couple years ago.
Oh.
Shit. I didn't know. I'm so sorry.
That's why I was so happy
when Devon called.
He said you guys have
been talking about me?
That I was on your mind.
Em, I
Listen, I think we got our
wires crossed. Okay? I
I have been talking to Devon.
And, yes, Billie and I have hit
a few bumps recently, but
I mean, this is like ten steps too far.
Oh.
Okay.
Fuck. I'm sorry.
No, it's not a problem.
She really is a lucky girl.
So here's what's gonna happen.
I'm gonna go powder my nose,
catch up with my girlfriends,
and make sure that this blowout
and dress don't go to waste.
Sounds like a plan.
Motherfucker!
I am blinded by the light of
that BDE. I gotta look away.
- Boom! Up top!
- What the fuck is wrong with you?
Okay, this isn't about Emily.
She is a sweetheart. She's not Billie.
I love my wife. I have since the second
I laid eyes on her. You know?
She's formidable. And she
made me feel that way too.
Fine. You want formidable?
There you go.
- That's what's up.
- No, Devon
- Cooper.
- Hey.
You've come out to play.
Yeah, I felt like I had to blow
some steam off, I guess.
It was really nice to see you.
Yeah, you too, Em.
Bye, Cooper.
We'll see ya.
Well, okay, then. Pretty
sure that wasn't your wife.
It's, uh, ex-girlfriend.
Um, the past has been
sneaking up on me lately.
Seemed pretty present to me.
So you like tequila?
Come on, just finish the bottle.
Okay, check this out.
Billie, we know you had a rough day.
So we got you something!
Oh, my God.
You guys!
- I can't.
- It's fake.
Don't tell anyone, we all got one.
Canal Street. Can you
believe it? It looks so real.
I am just so sorry for today.
For losing it like that.
I'm going through some things, clearly.
- I don't know. I
- Honey. We get it.
I had a guy.
An ex I couldn't stop thinking about.
Really?
He was a musician too.
All the things Jack isn't.
And let's be honest, will never be.
He had a guru.
We lived together on an ashram in Goa.
Can you imagine me there?
Oh, my God. I can't. Like, at all.
I only ate chickpeas and rice
for about six months, but
I was so in love.
I would have done anything.
Of course, that never lasts.
Heh. The breakup was nuclear.
I didn't think about him for years,
then one day couldn't
get him out of my head.
Same as you.
So I looked him up.
Found him on Facebook.
Turns out he works in the
concrete business now.
He's fat, he's bald, just like his dad.
Believe me, I got real real fast
about how good I have it
and how much I love my husband.
Billie, you should do that.
Facebook, Google.
I promise, it'll be
the end of the fantasy.
Yeah.
Sometime let's do that.
No. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
You're going completely
out of order here.
Since when do I follow the rules?
Come on. Live on the edge, Connelly.
Oh, right. Yep. Here we go. Yeah.
- Wow. So the tie does come off.
- Whew!
Oh, it does. It does.
I figured since we were breaking
the rules, that would be okay.
Oh, it's very okay.
You know, there is a great
whiskey joint on Perry Street,
all the way west.
It's right by my place.
Why don't we get a nightcap?
Actually
I should probably go home.
You're right.
That's probably a good idea.
That's a good idea. I should go home.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- You okay?
- Yeah.
It's just been a long day.
Wine helps.
Billie. It's just me now.
And I know a fake Chanel
bag can't fix everything.
Real Chanel maybe.
Marriages can fall into a rut.
I get it. Believe me, I do.
But the way out of that rut is
not through your old boyfriend.
Forget him.
You need to spice things
up with your husband.
Do it together.
I think I may have screwed things
up past the point of sexy lingerie.
There are other ways.
Who's Brad?
Is that him?
I I should probably
take this outside.
This has to stop. I'm done.
I don't think you are done.
In fact, I think you're enjoying
this way too much.
No. No.
This is all you.
Really?
Mmm. Then how come your
husband came to see me today?
And for the record, I'm pretty sure
he thinks you're enjoying it too.
What did you say to him?
Billie, of course I protected you.
I got you.
Okay. All right. This
This has gone on way further
than it ever should have.
I have a life here.
This This isn't real.
What if it is?
Here I am, B.
All of me.
It's all for you.
Maybe he is a god.
But the flesh is all too real.
'Cause he's wearing me
on his body. On his skin.
Still.