Sleuth 101 (2010) s01e04 Episode Script

So, do I look like a bridesmaid? (ALL CHUCKLE) You look like something.
Hey, you should take a photo of the bride right now.
She'd be furious.
She's on the sunbed, she's half naked.
Yeah, nice way for the groom to remember their special day.
Exactly.
And there's nothing my son hasn't seen before.
Go on, don't be such a coward.
Yeah, sometimes you just have to stand up for yourself.
Alright.
(GIGGLES) (LAUGHS) Bit of a mouse, that one.
Yeah.
I mean, what's the worst thing that could happen? Huh? (SCREAMS HORRIFICALLY) (CRIES) She's dead! (THEME MUSIC PLAYS) (APPLAUSE) Hi! (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) Welcome to Sleuth 101.
This is the Karma Kutz beauty salon.
Bridget Wilmott, bride to be, has been found dead, crushed by a sunbed on the most important day of her life.
From wife-to-be to giant panini.
Now, applying the hair-straightener of truth to this frizzy mess of clues and lies is our guest detective for the week, Adam Richard.
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) Hi.
Welcome! Hello.
Hello.
Mwah.
Now, Adam, do you like a good detective story? I do love a detective story.
I wanted to be Hart to Hart when I was a little kid.
Both of them? Yeah, both of them.
Yay! What's the worst thing that's happened to you at the hairdressers? Er, yeah, hi.
Shouldn't have brought that up.
I went in for extensions and this is what I get.
Now, there's four suspects that you're gonna meet tonight, but first we have to check out the scene of the crime, the Karma Kutz (GASPS) solarium.
Now, Adam, this is where the blushing bride met her untimely demise.
Right.
Our pathologist has been through already and taken the body.
Let's see if you can comb the area for clues they may have missed.
(GASPS) Oh! Someone has left a camera! Oh, that's definitely a clue.
I might pocket that.
And, oh, my God, can you see what I see? It's a hair ring.
It is a red scrunchie thing.
Alright.
And ugh! What is it? What can you see? It's hair follicles.
You're really prepared.
I'm a detective, Cal! These are my bags when I take the dog for a walk.
Please tell me you don't use the tweezers for that.
Yeah, sometimes you get those little dreadlocks at the back, you have to get rid of those.
(AUDIENCE GROANS AND LAUGHS) Oh, it's very CSI back here.
(GASPS) What have you found? There's some nuts and bolts.
Uh-huh.
And I believe there is some kind of gooey fluid.
I've got a swab.
Also, I'll be taking DNA from any prospective fathers later on as well.
Ohh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh.
Ohh.
Ugh.
Well Anything else? Oh, the screws! Should I pick those up with my tweezers? Go on.
That could have a fingerprint on them, Cal.
They could.
Or they could just be from IKEA.
We're gonna solve this crime with an allen key.
I think you've cleaned the joint up.
That's fantastic.
I'll put that in my CSI podium.
Yes.
And take that off to forensics later, thank you very much.
Do you want the camera? Yes, I do.
We'll take those Can we get those developed? What a great idea.
My God! Now, it's time for you to meet your suspects.
(GASPS) Your first appointment is with salon owner Louise Keeler.
The ethereal Louise opened Karma Kutz after she discovered, through regression therapy, that many of her past lives involved hair and grooming.
She specialises in cosmic tanning, astral exfoliation and third-eye lash tinting.
I knew something bad would happen when I found out that Saturn was in my third house.
But I tried to stay positive.
Bridget was getting married that afternoon and I wanted to make the morning as tranquil as possible.
I just hope they can photo-shop it out.
'Cause I'm not forking out a thousand bucks on wedding photos to spend the rest of my life staring at that red ugly thing.
Look, it's just a tiny pimple.
You can hardly see it.
Yeah, well, if my best friend was getting married, I wouldn't eat sugar for a week.
In fact, I probably wouldn't eat anything.
Are you sure you can still fit into the dress? OK.
Bridget, lovely to see you again.
You're looking lovely.
Let's get you into the waxing room, shall we? Do you have to keep doing that? I'm just trying to preserve the memories.
You could have tried to preserve your tan.
Could you give her a dose in the solarium? She's looking a bit pasty.
I'm not really, um crazy about solariums.
Oh, it's alright, they're perfectly safe.
You know what you're doing.
OK, let's get you going.
Yup.
Thanks.
You must be excited.
The big day's finally arrived.
It's about bloody time too.
My mother-in-law has been calling me two or three times a day asking how she can help.
She can rack off, that's how she can help.
And Jacqui is such a killjoy - "Oh, you can't go out and get drunk.
You can't flirt with the barman.
" Your parents must be happy.
They aren't alive.
Sorry.
Oh, it's not your fault.
Unless you were driving a purple Volkswagen down the Pacific Highway in June 1978.
Come on, I haven't got all day.
Sorry.
Other leg.
Ohh! That's an interesting tattoo.
'G-Force'.
It's Gary.
My fiancé.
Oh.
What's the purple thing pointing to (GASPS) Oh.
I see.
Jacqui's been taken care of.
Thank you.
(DOORBELL RINGS) Who's that? I thought Jacqui said she booked this place out.
I'll go and check on it.
Thank you.
When I finished Bridget, she went out the front for her hair and I started on Jacqui.
For some reason, she seemed a bit on edge.
You've just got to block out the pain.
Like, I always recall the pain I felt when I was burnt at the stake in 1527.
Compared to that, waxing's a breeze.
Oww! So Bridget's parents died in a car crash? Yeah.
Yeah, it was a tragedy.
They were driving late at night, hit a possum, lost control.
That's awful.
(RIPPING SOUND) Oww! Doesn't mean she has to act like a spoiled bitch all her life, though.
Oww! Sorry, I didn't mean that.
I'm her best friend.
Oww! I took Jacqui out to the salon.
Bridget was insisting on having a session in the sunbed even though she'd been here twice already that week.
I'm the client, right? So what I want, I get.
You've just been waxed.
The solarium will irritate your skin.
But if that's what you want.
Don't even think about it.
Er, if you've got nothing else to do now, I could do with some deforestation.
(CHUCKLES) Hope you've got a barrel of wax - it's been a while.
You must be excited about your son's Ohh.
Ohh.
wedding.
There's nothing like seeing your son hook up with a loving, caring, generous girl, and this is absolutely nothing like that.
Whoa! Whoa! That took a bit longer than expected.
I left her to get dressed and I went to do some ordering.
More wax.
Bugger.
That's happened before.
Must be Saturn realigning itself.
All I had to do was reset the circuit.
So I kept working.
Until I heard the scream (JACQUI SCREAMS) Now, everything you've seen so far is the truth.
But Louise may have smoothed over some unsightly blemishes with a little touch of a concealer.
So, it's time for you to meet Louise, Adam.
Oh, I'm questioning the Avon lady.
Hello, darling.
How are you? Hi.
You've got a beautiful aura.
I do? Yeah.
What colour is it? It's sort of sequinny.
Sequinny.
Bless.
Now, when the power went out when the computer died, how long had you been working for, do you think? Time is sort of an elastic concept to me.
I'm sorry.
I've had a bit of a problem with bookings because of that.
Right.
(LAUGHS) Very helpful.
Time means nothing to me.
It's not polite to ask a lady her age.
Mmm.
But how old are you? I don't know.
Right.
I mean So, 1978 you would've been Probably Can't remember.
Really? Yeah.
Right.
1978.
That's when Bridget's parents were killed.
Terrible that, wasn't it? Oh, that's so tragic, isn't it? What kind of car do you drive? I don't drive, I get taxis.
You get taxis.
Yes, the universe provides.
I want to ask you What star sign are you? What star sign? I'm Can I guess? Yes, go.
Cancer.
No.
Oh.
Ah, Capricorn.
Capricciosa, no anchovies.
That's me! I knew it! How did you know? We're very anal, apparently.
That's how I knew.
Yes.
I mean, we're tidy and we like to CLEAN UP.
Now, are you in charge of the solarium itself or do your staff look after that? No, I run everything.
Right.
That's why I was shocked about the sunbed because we maintain that perfectly.
We're all trained in it, we know what's going on, that should never have happened.
So you know the mechanics, the insides and the outs.
Yes, indeedy.
You maintain it yourself? Well, I get people in to do that.
Right.
But I have the screwdriver in my office to make sure that Make sure it's all tight.
Yeah.
But I wouldn't know Because I was in the storeroom, anyone could have gone into the solarium and I wouldn't have known.
You wouldn't have known.
No.
CAL: Now, Adam And you were there for how long? I don't know.
It means nothing to me.
Right, then.
Adam, I'm gonna have to stop you here.
This is all the time you're destined to have with Louise in this life.
Oh, bless.
It's been lovely.
We've got your first results from forensics through.
(GASPS) I love forensics, don't you? Yes.
The screws had been removed from the hydraulic arms that held the sunbed open.
The dark liquid that you found, Adam, was leaked hydraulic fluid.
It would've taken about 15 minutes for the fluid to drain, leaving the lid in a precarious state.
Mmm! Mmm.
Good noise.
OK, let's speak to maid of honour Jacqui Freed.
Jacqui has been Bridget's best friend since school.
Both ended up studying law at university.
And although their careers took different paths, they still did everything together.
I booked the salon exclusively for the morning as a wedding present for Bridget.
It cost me a whole week's wages.
But she was my dearest friend.
Could you give her a dose in the solarium? She's looking a bit pasty.
I should tell you that I've been involved in quite a few skin cancer cases, so, um, you know, I know all the risks.
Alright.
Well, look, I'll just leave you in here for 10 minutes? And you can do what you want.
Yeah? Yeah.
OK.
OK.
Ohh! Oww! Oww! Oww, oww! Then it was out of the frying pan, into the hot wax.
I can understand how a car accident can ruin a life.
Oh, did you lose someone in a car accident? Ahh! Yes.
Me.
You died in a car accident? In a previous life, I was a possum.
Oww! That's it.
You're done.
I was quite happy the waxing was over.
When I got out, Bridget's hair was nearly done.
It's beautiful.
Come on, take a photo.
Didn't they do your top lip, Jac? Oh, make-up will cover it.
Hang on, your skin's darker than mine.
You were in the sunbed too long! Ah, ahh! Oww! Annie, who's this Pat person? The mother-in-law.
She just turned up.
Have a look at me, I'm as brown as a nut.
That melanoma machine's awesome! What the hell are you doing here? You invited her, didn't you? When I specifically said I invited meself.
I wanted to tart myself up for my son's wedding.
Eh? Cop a deco at this.
(LAUGHS) Make you look like an albino marshmallow.
That's it, I'm getting a top-up.
I better go wipe down the machine.
JACQUl: Despite Louise's warning, Bridget got her own way, of course.
Pat went off to get waxed and Annie got to work on my hair.
So, you got a hot date for the wedding? Who, me? No.
Mmm.
Men, eh? Don't get me started.
I didn't When they first meet you, they're so all over you, and like, "You're the only one for me, babe.
" And then you think this guy is the one.
And then, after five years, they say they're not ready to commit and you're left stuck in the one-bedroom flat and he's taken the Wii and left you with one controller.
And what are you meant to do with one controller? Oh, my God.
These scissors are broken.
Yeah, well I was stuck there until, well, you know, we found Bridget dead.
Alright, Adam, the witness is all yours.
Do with her what you will.
But it's a lady.
(LAUGHS) Alright.
Jacqui, hello.
It's OK.
Don't be afraid.
I'm not really a policeman.
I'm a celebrity.
Sorry.
(CRIES) Oh, sweet pea.
It's OK.
It's OK.
I just can't I can't believe she's gone.
I know, it's devastating, isn't it? I mean, she was such a lovely person, I'm surprised no-one got her before now.
You have to see there are two sides to this story and she was a very, very giving woman.
Right.
When she needed to be.
She gave me lots of self-help books.
(SNIGGERS) And she was there for me.
As much as I've tried to be there for her.
It was her day.
It was her special day.
Be very clear on this because she told me very many times it was Bridget's day! Yes, I get that.
Now, she did get a bit upset with you because your tan got a bit browner than hers, didn't it? Yes.
(LAUGHS) You got a bit excited about that.
Yes.
Sorry, it's shock.
That's actually a condition.
Yeah, I know.
It's a nervous That's a medical condition.
I have the same problem.
If you've lost the dearest person in your life, you can go into shock.
And laugh Yes, and giggle like a crazy person.
How long were you in the sunbed for? Um, well, I didn't actually Well, I got into the sunbed Yes.
You might've noticed, I was clothed.
Yes.
I was just, you know You were just nearby.
checking out the mechanism.
But how did you become more tanned than Bridget? No, I wasn't more tanned.
There's a certain delusional dimension to Bridget's personality.
Right.
CAL: Now, I'm sorry, Adam.
I'm gonna stop you there.
There's new information hot off the press.
(GASPS) A little bit like our bride.
I love this.
The autopsy is complete.
The weight of the sunbed lid alone wouldn't have caused Bridget's death.
It needed one last strong push by a person or persons unknown.
And the hair sample in the sunbed didn't match the victim's.
We've collected hair samples from our suspects to see if they match the mystery strands or at least tone in nicely.
Right, it's time to hear from hairdresser Annie Blythe.
Annie's love life is like Mickey Rourke's face, it just hasn't turned out like it should have.
Her first boyfriend stole her record collection to fund his heroin habit.
Her next boyfriend stole her CD collection to fund his cocaine habit.
She reported him to the police and ended up going out with the investigating officer who stole her iPod to fund his crystal meth habit.
And they were just her top three.
Well, I thought it was gonna be a pretty quiet morning with only the two of them.
And then (BELL RINGS) Who's that? Hello.
Sorry, we're booked out.
No, I know, I'm the mother.
So, I'll have one of everything, thanks.
So I got her in the solarium and then started on Bridget's hair.
Yeah, it must be nice having your mother with you on your wedding day.
My mother's not coming to the wedding.
But she's here.
Now.
Does everybody who works here believe in that spiritual bull dust? Huh? Listen, most of your customers might love all that 'what's your star sign' chitchat, but this is my day.
I'm paying, so shut up.
ANNIE: It was pretty quiet after that.
Until that fight over the solarium.
But I figure if she wants a rash she can have one.
Alright, Bridget, you can just lie back and Yeah, I know how it works, OK? So could you just please leave so I can get some peace and quiet? Yup.
Thank you.
And, you know, those were probably the last words she ever said.
Adam, meet Annie.
Hello, Annie.
Very busy day for you.
Oh, tell me about it, detective.
Oh! Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Bridget's flat as a pancake! I know.
Now, did you shut the lid for her? No.
No? No, she Jump up and down a bit? Make sure it's shut? A bit of bouncy bouncing? Closed, bouncy bouncy? That's not funny.
There's a bride in the building that's dead.
Yes.
Yes.
No, you were a little bit shocked, I understand, when you saw Bridget's tattoo.
The G-Force? It was a bit of a surprise.
You don't see that very often.
No.
And what was the purple thing pointing No, I won't ask that question.
That's alright.
I see them all the time.
Do you? Yeah.
But G-Force? Is that That was a bit of a shock.
It was a bit of a shock.
Have you seen that tattoo before? I haven't seen that tattoo No? and I do a lot of discreet hair removal in that area.
What other kind of tattoos have you seen down there? Oh, really weird.
Like, sometimes I've seen hammer and sickle.
Ohh! On scrotum.
Ohh! And do you have his number? He didn't want me to touch him.
I'm not surprised.
With those nails? Lord.
Now, your boyfriend's just left you.
That's very sad, isn't it? But that was quite some time ago.
It was like five years ago now.
Really? The one with the Wii? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, OK.
That was five years ago.
Very technically minded.
Do you maintain the sunbed at all? Yeah, I'm good with that solarium.
Oh, excellent.
Yep.
But, you know, with that solarium Mmm.
you would need quite a lot of strength to kill a body.
To kill a body.
And you would need, like, that Pat lady.
Oh, right.
CAL: OK.
I'm gonna have to stop you there.
Time is up, I'm afraid.
Just when you were getting to know each other.
Yes.
Sort of like speed dating.
Except one of you might end up in prison afterwards.
Although that could be speed dating.
The lab rats have finished with the hair samples.
The hair from the sunbed belonged to Pat Norton.
We're hoping it's from her head.
When they were getting hair samples, the boffins found traces of hydraulic fluid in Jacqui's hair.
Not the usual treatment for split ends.
Your final suspect is Pat Norton, ex-Mrs Mum and motorbike mechanic.
Soon after Gary was born, his dad left her for a newer model.
Pat was happy with the divorce settlement, though, ex-hubby was granted access to their son once a month but absolutely no access to the '68 Harley Shovelhead.
My son means the world to me, but for some reason he'd never bring his girlfriends round to meet me.
I thought this'd be a good chance to get to know my future daughter-in-law.
They shunted me straight into the cancer-tron.
So, we have a strict 20-minute limit.
It's perfectly safe.
And we have it checked regularly.
No whackas.
Set it to 'scorch' and go.
Alright.
And you're off.
Oh, I felt good.
I could feel my moles growing to bursting point.
The machine's awesome! Speaking of moles What the hell are you doing here? she wasn't that happy to see me.
But I didn't care.
'Cause it was time for my deforestation session.
Yeow! And finally, the follicles needed foofing.
But after I've spewed, I could fit in dessert.
Ohh (LAUGHS) Jacqui and I got on like a house on fire.
And trust me, I've seen a few houses on fire in my time.
Jac, this Bridget.
Is she alright? Oh, yeah, Mrs N.
You just gotta ignore some of the things she says sometimes.
Oh, some of the things? She's got a mean streak in her, that one.
You, on the other hand, seem like a nice girl.
Just the sort of girl my Gary needs.
Oh Mrs N.
Eh, call me Pat.
And then, when Jacqui got out from under the hair dryer, well, she went to take the photo of Bridget and (SCREAMS) you know the rest.
Adam, time for a chat with Pat.
Hello, Pat.
Hi.
How's it going? Oh, well, a bit nervous, you know.
First time I've been sort of questioned by a Nearly said copper.
Well, look Policeman.
I have dressed as a policeman before but it was purely unprofessional.
Gary very upset, is he? Yeah, he is.
Yeah.
Yes.
And I, you know I have to admit that she wasn't my favourite person.
Yeah, I did kind of pick up on that.
Yeah, well, I don't think she's good enough for my boy, it's simply that, you know.
Now, did you deliberately go and get a very dark tan just to upset her? Riding a bike all the time.
Oh, yes.
And, of course, I'm a mechanic as well.
Well, a bike mechanic.
Well, you know, being a bike And I'm out in the fresh air all the time and on my Harley, you know.
Oh, excellent.
Yeah, it's great.
Now, you would be Being a mechanically minded lady Yeah, I've made me living from it.
See? So you'd have a fairly hefty, you know Do you wanna arm wrestle? No.
I reckon I'd beat you hands down.
Yes, yes.
With these wrists? Lord.
See, I'm like a twig.
I have to be, you know? Yeah.
That's me living and You're strong.
Oh, yes, I'm strong.
And I'm good mechanically too.
Yes.
And if you leaned really hard on top of the roof of a solarium, you could kind of crush someone to death, couldn't you? Oh, you're not gonna catch me out like that.
No.
(LAUGHS) I mean, if you leant on one, boom! I'm sorry, Adam, enough of Pat's chitchat from you, young man.
But I love Pat.
I could talk to her for hours.
We've got final forensics in for you.
Ohh! Well, then, shut up, Pat.
Louise's computer, which is on the same circuit as the solarium, crashed at exactly 10 past 12:00.
And also, the head of forensics has just come back from a one-hour photo-shop with Jacqui's snaps.
We thought you might like a hard copy to look at.
Oh, I love a hard copy.
I'd pay special attention, perhaps, to the last three photos.
Right.
What time is it in the photos? It's 10 past 12:00, when the power went off.
Er (LAUGHS) So, that might perhaps provide an alibi for two people, even three, if you count I think if you count the person taking the photo Mmm! Yes! Mmm! So who is the murderer? Was it the overly sensitive salon owner/past-life possum? Was it the beleaguered, beaten-down best friend? Or how about the heart-broken hairdresser? Or maybe the well-meaning yet monstrous mother-in-law? Is that oxymoronic? Is Adam? And how about you at home? This might help you out.
Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest of them all? I mean, clearly we know it's me, but let's move on.
Time to see if Adam Richard will wax lyrical about this dye job and foil the murderer's plan.
(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYS) (SOBS) Alright, Adam Poirot.
Mm-hm? Your suspects await you.
ADAM: Right.
Well, ladies, one of you is a murderer.
Hands up, who was it? I thought that might work.
Pat, you have the strength, the power, the mechanical knowledge to squash a bride.
Yes, I do.
I'm not gonna deny that.
Annie, was she marrying one of your ex-boyfriends, perhaps, and you were terribly jealous and wanted her dead? No! Jacqui, you've hated her all your life, haven't you? You know all about these sunbeds from all your lawyering cases.
You know everything that's going on.
But you were a possum in a last life and you hated her family! And you wanted her to die for her crime! I think you squashed her! I'm blaming her - possum.
Really? That's your final answer? Yep.
Flat possum.
She did it.
She's mental! Alright, Adam, let's see if you're right.
Will the real murderess please unmask herself? It was me! (GASPS) Gary was meant to be marrying me.
I knew it! And I gave him I gave him the name G-Force.
Yes, it was Annie Blythe.
She saw Bridget's tattoo and immediately realised that Bridget was marrying her ex-boyfriend, the man she was still in love with.
She managed to slip away while Bridget was arguing with Louise and removed the screws with her scissors, fully aware of the damage they could do after Louise's training sessions.
(ADAM SIGHS) But in her rush, she forgot to clean the sunbed, as she said she would, leaving Pat's hair behind.
She went back to work, hoping the sunbed would do its lethal job.
It was then she left hydraulic fluid in Jacqui's hair (ADAM GASPS) from the now damaged scissors.
It all seems so clear now, doesn't it? I know! Checking on our victim later, Annie realised she had to give things a bit of a push and gave Bridget the biggest makeover she'd ever had.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHS) But what about the photos? I hear you cry.
Hairdressing salons are full of mirrors.
These photos were taken in the reflection.
Ohh! So, what looked like 10 past 12:00 was in fact 10 to 12:00, giving Annie no alibi at all.
The comb in her pocket switching sides gives it away and ruins Annie's alibi.
Oh.
Never trust a comb, Adam.
No.
(LAUGHS) Clearly.
ADAM: It's been some time.
Now, Detective Richard, how are you feeling? I'm feeling good.
I did think she was suspicious.
Well, you sort of had it and then you went, no, but not that really plausible, obvious thing, I'll go with the possum lady.
LOUISE: Yeah.
We're at the ABC, everything's ludicrous.
Well done, Adam.
We won't have you back.
Now did you at home spot the red herring this week? Go to our website, find out if you're right.
And while you're there, check on the Sleuth 101 interactive game.
You can get an advanced clue to next week's show.
Until then, I remain at all times Cal Wilson.
Goodnight.
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) Next week, revenge is a dish best served live on television.
Hey, don't get no ideas, alright? Food guru and publicity machine Ramsay McGordon, the host of hit show 'lnside Chef', is alive and well and wants to stay that way, until he eats something that doesn't agree with him.
(SCREAMS DRAMATICALLY) Can celebrity sleuth Pete Rowsthorn stand the heat or will he vacate the kitchen? If you served up your brain to me, I'd still starve to death.
That's next week on Sleuth 101.