Small Time Gangster (2011) s01e04 Episode Script

Tony! What is this? Talk about the nags, talk about the footy, talk about the fucking fluff in your bellybutton for all I care, but you're not talking about your yips.
Meet Weasel.
Degenerate gambler.
All but lives at the races.
You stay away from her and here.
You are the world's fucking heavyweight champion of lies to pull this shit off.
It was a bucks night, Sal.
Well, strippers are all part of the equation.
Gordon's still the man you know and love despite the strange wax marks and all.
Mm-hm.
Well, what is a he/she? Oh, well.
Try not to worry about it.
Mmm.
Tony, are you gonna get that? Yes.
Hang on a sec, Sal.
Yeah, I'm back.
OK, darling.
Well, listen, just don't worry! I'll see you at the church.
It'll all be fine.
Yeah.
OK.
Bye.
Sally's freaking out.
Hey, I'm not gonna be the only bridesmaid without a partner, if that's what this is about.
Haven't you got work this morning? Dad, what are you doing? Why are you dressed? I fell asleep like this last night.
Bullshit! You've been with him, with Charlie, haven't you? No, I've been here! Right, Matt? Uh, um Yeah.
D-definitely.
I saw her when I went to the bathroom.
What is going on? Tony? Stay there! Hey! Hey! Tony! What are you? I'm sorry, Dad.
Leave her alone.
My God, what has gotten into you? Like I said, I never left here.
It's alright.
Tony? What the hell? I don't know, darling.
C-can I come out now? What are we doing here, Tones? Looking for somebody.
Kool & the Gang.
What are you doing? Oh, no.
I'm not looking at them.
I'm into MILFs.
What? MILFs.
You know, "Mums that I'd like to" MILFs.
Yeah, MILFs.
That's what I said.
So she's a MILF.
But that one over there - GILF.
"Granny that I'd like to be in and around.
" What? You need to come in here right now.
We've got a problem.
Nuh.
Too busy.
I need your help.
This is urgent.
Hey.
He's into GILFs too.
I knew it.
Wait here, Dean.
And do what? Take the day off.
You didn't see him.
It was really full-on.
You don't have to worry about him.
He couldn't hurt anyone.
Oh, shit.
Dad.
School now.
OK.
Go! I'm going! I told you to stay the fuck away.
Yeah? And that's all you can do - talk.
I keep my family and my work apart for a reason and I won't have anyone fucking with them.
I think you've forgot who you're talking to.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know whose son you are.
Look, I might not be able to touch you now, but I can sure as hell tell your old man you're not cutting it at work.
Well, I'll tell him you're not training me right.
I could tell him a fucking shitload more.
You know something, Charlie? I couldn't give a rat's arse, mate.
Either way, mate you need to make a choice.
Either it's me and and this life, or it's Mel and the way everybody else lives.
But if you want her you gotta walk away from all of this forever.
You can't be a crook because I won't let that happen to her.
This is bullshit.
Why don't you just think for once in your life, Charlie? Hey? Otherwise you'll try to have it both ways and sooner or later, it is gonna fuck everything up.
Trust me, Charlie.
Trust me.
Take the day off, Dean! Darlene, listen to me.
This isn't the public service.
We don't do RDOs.
It's more than just a break.
I've got a job for you.
It's important.
Straight from Barry.
Yeah, what? Collecting $500 off some poor bastard? Try a rocket launcher.
What? Somebody stole a rocket launcher, also known as an RPG, from the army.
Word's out it might be coming up for sale.
Yeah, and Barry fits in how? Well, he wants it.
More importantly, he wants to make sure no-one else gets it.
Yeah, so he's paranoid again.
Nuh.
Nuh.
No way.
Since when do you turn down a job? Just get someone else.
You're the best.
Or you were.
Darl, we've run out of those smelly crystals in the urinal.
I tried to use some breath mints, but Steve, we're going out for a bit.
Why can't we talk in here? I mean, they're all family.
They're the ones I'm worried about.
What's going on? I'm trying to protect you, Tony.
People are talking about you.
Talking? - What exactly are they saying? - Tony! Tony! I've gotta talk to you, mate.
Look, mate, I'm too busy now.
Talk to Dean, alright? It's about the van, mate.
I just need to borrow the van.
One hour, mate.
Have you got the keys? Mate, it's about the van! Jesus Christ.
Relax! I've just gotta talk to you! I've gotta talk to Tony! I can't do it.
Sorry! Mate, I've got something in the back Don't! Arggh! Word is you've gone soft.
What do you mean, 'soft'? You can't hurt people.
You can't do your job.
Nah, they're just a bunch of old gossips.
It's not the crew who started the rumour.
Do you remember that job with Weasel? You can trust me.
I'm not gonna talk.
Just let me go.
No.
I understand.
I hear ya.
If word gets out, you've got real trouble.
No.
No, not really, no.
He's been talking all around town.
Badmouthing you.
So? He's just making shit up.
It's not the first time.
Hey, look, I got you the money, didn't I? Do you trust me? Yeah.
We've been working together a long time now, Tony.
I've never known you to turn down a job.
I'm worried about you.
Whatever it is I can help.
Look, what I'm when I said that I needed a break, I meant it.
Holidays in our business? More than that.
You want out? Jesus.
There's only one way out.
I care about you.
Hello! I can see you! I see you're busy at work, are you? Oh, that's just lovely! Open the door! Hi.
I'm Cathy.
I don't know if we've met before.
Cath, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Hey, hey, Cath, Cath! No! I don't even know your bloody name! Cath, it's OK.
This must be the little lady.
Oh, yes, I'm his wife! I know exactly what is going on.
You have been having an affair all this time.
Oh, you think it's funny, do you? Look, I think it's best Oh, you think it's best? What do you think? He's all yours.
Thank you so much.
I can't believe this! I should have known! All those times you were working back late.
All those times you seemed like you were distracted by something.
Darlene, she's just a friend of mine.
No wonder you didn't want me to look at the books.
Cath, Cath, I love you so much, baby.
Oh, is that before or after you've had the little blue pills? Or are they just for her? Cath! Tony! Cath! Tony, I'm serious.
This is it.
You either tell me the truth or I'm fucking out of here.
Alright.
Alright, alright.
Do you want the truth? Yeah.
It'd make a nice change.
Alright.
I've been lying to you.
I'm not a carpet cleaner.
I work for a bunch of crims as a standover man.
I-I-I-I hurt people.
You what? I hurt people.
You know, if they don't pay up or something, I have to hurt them.
That's what I've been hiding from you all this time, Cath.
I'm I'm a crook.
You must think I'm some kind of fucking idiot! No, no, no, Cath.
No, no, no! You've gotta believe me! It's true! Cath! Fuck! Fuck! I can't believe this is the first time that you've been in.
Finally we get a chance to get to know one another.
Hope you don't mind.
No hats inside.
I can be quite strict.
So, Dean I was wondering if you and Tony have any regular female customers that, say, are based in a pub? Whoa.
Don't know about you, but it's just Whew! So hot in here, don't you think? Yep.
Yep.
Really, really hot.
So hot.
So, you can talk.
Thought so.
So, just between friends has Tony ever mentioned anyone called Darlene? Tony? Yeah.
He wouldn't like this.
It's OK.
Oh, nah, 'cause, like, he's a really nice guy and he really loves you and that, eh? So Is that right? Cath! Tones Oh! I was I'm not turned on, honest.
It's just Oh, man! Stupid dick! What the hell was that? Well, we were just discussing your girlfriend, Darlene Slutface.
Oh, Cath.
Babe, I would never cheat on you, never.
You've gotta believe me.
What's it gonna take to convince you, huh? The truth.
That's all I want.
I tried to tell you I work for Oh, for God's sake, Tony.
Enough lies! Cath! Stop and look into my eyes, will you? I would never, ever lie to you, babe.
I love you so much.
I know.
But whatever this secret is tell me! The wedding.
Tony! Nuh.
The wedding.
Please! I just Don't think this changes anything.
No, it's just that This is Sally's happy day, right? And mine.
So just shut up and help me fake it.
I'm sure you can manage that.
Hi! I am so sorry we're late.
Jesus Christ, Cath, where have you been? Hi, Sal.
I'm shitting myself here! You look beautiful.
Dad, don't touch me! Sal, Sal, you look absolutely beautiful.
Thank you.
I've had three champagnes and a valium.
Oh, God.
It's too late to back out now.
Cath promise me I'm doing the right thing.
I will be happy, won't I? Yes, darling, I promise.
Thank you.
I love him so much.
Oh, don't cry.
You'll get me started.
No.
Don't you dare.
He has to go in.
Yes.
Yes, I know.
I can't go in until he goes in.
What's so fucking important? We've got a problem, a big one.
How big? About the size of a rocket launcher.
Shit.
It's not my job.
It's not my problem.
Look, Steve's kind of caught in the middle of a shitstorm.
Steve? What the hell's he doing there? Not just him, Gary too.
They need you, Tony.
Everything OK, Cath? What is wrong with you? Are you determined to wreck everything, you selfish bastard? You want the truth? Come on.
Tony Ow! Sorry, Sal! Ow! Fuck! Daddy, let's fuck this puppy.
You have completely lost it! I can prove I wasn't lying before! You are that close to losing me right now.
I know.
Just stop here.
Here?! Yeah.
Stop.
Tony! This is some bullshit that you've cooked up just so that What? What's that? What is that? Is that a bullet? Gary! Oi, Gary, Gary! Tones? I didn't recognise you in that sewing machine.
Tone, we came to buy the RPG.
He went crazy.
The fucker's trying to kill us.
Charlie? They tried to heavy me, Tones.
We were negotiating.
He pulled a gun on me.
That's how I negotiate.
Yeah, it was a bullshit offer.
Fuckin' tight-arse Barry.
It's going to the highest bidder.
I'm a businessman, for fuck's sake.
Alright, where's the fuckin' goods, then? Tony Tony It's OK.
It's alright.
Who's the ho? She's my wife.
You married? To a ho? No shit.
Congratulations.
Who are these guys? I work with them.
Been trying to tell you that all day.
What, and you haven't told them about me? What am I? Some kind of embarrassing secret? - No, no, it's just - G'day, love.
Name's Steve.
Yeah, and it's more than work, we're best mates.
Well, we're supposed to be, anyway.
No mates in this biz.
You fuckers are trying to roll me! Hey, Gaz, you give us the RPG, I'll get you the right money, OK? You can trust me, mate.
You too, boys.
Like Steve says, we're all mates here, hey? If there's an honest guy among a pack of bastards, it's you, mate.
What about the RPG? What the hell is an RPG? Rocket launcher.
What? Where is it, Gary? He doesn't have it.
If anyone's got it, Gary's got it.
You know me too well, Tones.
I tried to tell you down the pub.
What the hell are you doing here? Tones! Tones, I've been looking for you everywhere, man.
I brought you these.
To say to say that I'm sorry.
Sorry for perving on Cath and her titties.
He what? That is out of line.
- She is hot, though.
- Yeah.
Hey, Gary, where is it? Hey, Tones.
Is this the new cleaning nozzle? Jesus.
Jesus.
Dean, Dean, just put that thing down.
Ohhh, shit.
Look, Cath Cath This is just too much.
Steve, Charlie, get the launcher and Dean.
Put them in the van and get the fuck out of here now.
Go, go, go! Take that.
Well, I wasn't lying.
No.
Not today.
So when did you start doing that kind of stuff? Before I met you.
So all this time, you've been lying to me.
I don't even know what to say, Tony.
I don't even know who you are.
I suppose Darlene isn't Darlene and I have never That is not the point, Tony.
She knows all about me.
She knows both sides of you.
Cath I wanna I wanna change.
I wanna get out of the business.
I don't know what to believe.
It's true.
So all that money that I found hidden in the house, that was criminal money? Yeah.
Yeah.
The house, the car, everything.
But, Tony, I asked you I asked you a hundred times I told you that it was my pay.
It was the truth, Cath.
You had so many chances to tell me the truth, and you didn't.
How am I ever gonna believe anything you ever have to say ever, ever again? If that's her, you're dead.
Get it.
It's Dean.
Well, what's it say? What does it matter what it says? After all you've put him through, what does it say? "Tony, you've been really good to me, "and all I've done is blow shit up and crack a boner and that.
"I'm going away for a while.
Love, Dean.
"PS sorry again for perving on Cathy, but she is hot, eh?" He's right.
Don't you even dare.
I'm such an idiot.
How did I not see such a monumental deception? Oh, no, Cath, don't blame yourself I'm fucking not! I'm blaming you, you selfish prick! All this bullshit, all this lying No, no! You can't do this! Is that Mel? Mel? Mel! Mel! Mel, where are you? What is it? Oh, sweetheart, what is it? Charlie just broke up with me.
What? It's alright, sweetie.
You knew they were going out? We've been going out for ages, it's almost been a whole month! What happened? I don't know, he he reckons I'm still a kid, which is bullshit because I've been out with heaps of guys way older than him.
Hey, hey, hey, you what?! Mum, men are total liars.
I hate them so much! Don't.
But, Cath Get out.
It's alright, baby.
I know.
That shit Weasel told you? About Tony not being up for the job? Might be true.
The gig's yours if you want it starting right now.
You get it right, and you can take over from Tony full-time.
You said I had to make a choice.
So I did.
What's with the bag?