Smash s01e04 Episode Script

Previously on Smash What's this Marilyn thing I'll keep hearing about? - Ivy Lynn, Karen Cartwright.
- Classic.
You put in ten years in the chorus and Karen-something shows up.
Michael Swift is available if you're interested in making him an offer for DiMaggio.
I had an affair with Michael Swift.
- It's not going to be cheap.
- What's Jerry's involvement? Jerry has no involvement.
That was incredible.
Do you think he gave me the part because I slept with him? He is a terrible human being! - Hey.
- Hi.
First day.
I love first days.
Me too.
I am so glad that you're doing this.
- Me too.
- Exciting, isn't it? Hi, Linda.
Where am I? You and Tom are here, Derek's there.
Good, you put him at a different table.
Yeah, I've worked with him before.
Can you put Tom's assistant at a different table too? She's the one who almost took it out from under our Ivy? Where's the Marilyn in that? Could she be more midwest? Actually no, she was the golden sprout champion at the Iowa state fair.
- You made that up.
- I didn't.
- She put it on her resume.
- She's coming, she's coming.
Hi, Dennis.
Karen.
- Yeah, I remember.
- Hi.
Hi.
So do I put my stuff down here? You can put it anywhere you want.
The maestro arrives.
- Hi, Derek.
- Yeah, hi.
Hey.
Michael, hi.
Hi.
Yeah, hi.
- Great to be here.
- Well, we're thrilled.
As you know.
It's gonna be fine.
You don't have to be nervous, okay? I'm not.
I mean, we're both adults right? I was talking about the workshop.
- Michael, hi.
- Hey, Tom.
You sound great on the demo of Mr.
and Mrs.
Smith.
Yeah, it's great.
He's gonna be so great.
So great.
Thanks.
I think I'm gonna warm up.
Excuse me.
- You okay? - I'm fine.
- You just seem a little - Drop it.
- You know.
- Drop it.
- I just mean - Drop it.
- Where's Eileen? - I have no idea.
- Well, where's the money? - It's not there.
Well, where'd it go? We are trying to figure that out.
You are my lawyer.
It's gotta be somewhere.
Jerry is swanning around town spending as much money as he ever did! Well, his family owns half of Manhattan.
I know about his family and their stupid money.
Don't talk to me about that.
All I need is $200,000, that's it $200,000.
Well, you have access to $8,000.
The rest of it is frozen.
Your husband is Very clever.
I know he's very clever.
I know he's clever.
Okay, everyone, here we go.
Welcome to Marilyn.
- Yeah! - Bravo! Okay, settle down, please.
Settle down! Thank you.
Okay, obviously we're not gonna have a table read because the book is still somewhat in flux.
This'll be primarily for the ensemble.
We'll put the rest in when the book is in better shape.
We'll be staging some of the numbers.
Others will be at music stands.
We'll have some costume elements, a few props but basically It's up to you to sell it.
Now remember This is a workshop.
The road to Broadway is exceedingly long.
So Let's get to it.
- Tom.
- How about a little mambo? - Why not? - Grab a chair, grab a stand.
Blondie.
Trying to go to Broadway without me, My God.
Good to see you! When did you get back? - Last week.
- Everything okay, children? - You hired Sam.
- I did.
We did Chicago together.
Six years ago? - Ten.
- No, come on.
Ten years ago, baby.
We were both in the chorus.
And you are Marilyn Monroe Yeah, actually nobody is anybody until we start rehearsing, okay? Got it, got it.
Welcome.
almost.
Thanks, everybody.
That's a ten.
You have a really fantastic voice.
- Did you hear her? - Yeah, she sounds great.
I knew the song from before, it was my callback piece.
Your callback for what? - For Marilyn.
- Well, I'm singing it now.
How come nobody told me she was going to be here? - Derek didn't tell you? - No.
I'm so sorry you missed it.
- Ivy is sublime.
- How's the rest of the cast? Michael Swift is gonna be amazing.
I know I had my reservations but I could not have been more wrong.
The ensemble's terrific.
Even Tom had nothing to complain about.
Good.
- Here's to Marilyn.
- She was an interesting woman.
She certainly was.
God, what a life.
Marilyn had money problems.
Yeah, well the studios never did pay her what she was worth.
Of course they didn't.
God.
Drinking at the office.
I love this.
Julia, you told me once that you were an art history major.
Yeah.
If that were a real Degas, what would you pay for it? That? - It is a real Degas.
- Yeah.
Here's a lesson they should teach in school when a girl gets curvy and the boys all drool if math and science just ain't you style just give that teacher a wink and a smile for a passing grade you won't have to wait and you can thank him later when you graduate 'cause I never met a wolf who didn't love to howl no, I never met a man who wasn't on the prowl shimmy, shimmy, aah, gimme, gimme if a nice diploma you wanna get Take it down, Karen! well then make that teacher the student's pet yeah, I never met a wolf who didn't love to howl I'm sorry, can we just stop? I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm just having a little trouble hearing myself.
The chorus is very Enthusiastic.
Ensemble.
Well, not everyone seems to understand that that means "as one.
" Okay, can we take our ten now? Actually, it's lunch.
Sorry.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Everything okay? Absolutely.
Good.
Do you know the actor Lyle West? That kid from all the TV shows? Yeah.
I gave him his first job when he was eight years old.
I made him a star.
Aw, you're so sentimental.
Yeah, well I'm sentimental enough to throw him a birthday party on Saturday night.
Do you want to come? Well, sure.
I I'd love to.
Good.
Ivy's doing the nasty with the dark lord, That's what I said.
Who's the dark lord? Sauron himself.
Darth Derek.
Look, I better run.
I've got a lunch meeting.
I'm having lunch with Tom.
Well, ask him how the new song is coming.
She's sleeping with him? I don't think they're getting all that much sleep.
- Just saying'.
- Stop talking about my friend.
Calm down.
Why is he sending messages through you? If he wants to know about the new number he can just ask me.
I'm sure he will.
I know he's not your favorite person.
What are you talking about? I love him.
What a stellar human being.
A role model for us all.
He better treat you right, that's all I have to say.
I'm a big girl, Tom.
I can take care of myself.
Listen, I have a question.
And I hope this is okay.
You're my star, anything's okay.
How come nobody told me that Karen Cartwright was gonna be in the ensemble? Actually it was Julia's idea.
She wanted to give her something.
She did work really hard on those auditions and she is impressive.
She completely is.
It just would have helped to have a heads up.
Absolutely.
My fault.
So could you listen to the wolf number when we get back to it after lunch? She's just She's right next to me and she's just a little bit loud.
So did you hear that Lyle West is in town? Lyle's in town.
God, I haven't seen him in forever.
Throwing a big birthday party for him this weekend.
He discovered him, you know.
- He did not say that.
- He did.
He told Ivy he "discovered" Lyle.
What, did he plant a flag in the kid? I think it's so silly when people take credit for other people's careers.
Heh.
That was my show he directed.
And the fact is Derek didn't discover that kid.
I discovered that kid.
He didn't even want to cast him.
I was the one who said "we have to cast that kid.
" How's the new number coming? You'll get it when you get it.
What's she upset about this time? Nope, no one's upset.
So I hear Lyle west is in town.
You having a birthday party for him? Both true things.
Do you think maybe you could invite Tom? Tom! Lyle West is in town.
I'm having a party on Saturday night.
You like to come? I think I have plans.
Well, I'm sure he'd love to see you.
As would I.
You're welcome of course too, darling.
And when am I gonna get to see my new scenes? I'm on my way home right now to write them.
Good.
Derek's having a big party, I need some bubble wrap.
- Bubble wrap? - You've heard of it.
Bubble wrap.
Okay, hold on, hold on.
Okay, new idea.
Karen, step back next to Bobby.
What's wrong? Let's take it from the dance break.
Again! Five, six, seven and Sorry You okay? Yeah, yeah, I'm just Hey, when you do this in the theater, are the numbers still there? Yes, Iowa, the numbers are still there in the theater.
Okay, I've just never done this We know.
Bobby, Karen? Come on.
I don't What does he mean? It means we're out of the number.
Remind me not to stand next to you anymore.
- What? - Again! Five, six, seven, and So first she has me put in the back row.
Then I'm out of the number altogether.
Dev here.
Yeah, it went great.
A corrections officer got arrested for a DWI in the Bronx.
The police desk never even called.
Great, thanks.
Sorry Ivy has that kind of power? She's the star, plus she's sleeping with the director.
That apparently comes with all sorts of perks.
She's sleeping with the director, wow.
You buried the lead.
It's just depressing that she's allowed to do whatever she wants to me.
Maybe you should just keep your head down.
I'm an actress.
I'm not supposed to keep my head down, I'm supposed to play to the balcony.
Sorry.
Dev here.
No, no, no, no, Andrew.
I've been on call now for six days.
- I need a night's sleep.
- I'm going to the gym.
- Hang on.
- I'm okay, I'm okay.
Just just breathe.
I can't.
Ivy might hear me.
Love you.
No, not you, Andrew.
I thought it was nice that he invited you.
He invited me because you told him to.
Tom.
You love that kid.
I've heard you say so many times how proud you are of Lyle.
How impressive he was as a little boy.
How long has it been since you've seen him? - Six years.
- Go to the party! Tom! - I can't.
- Why? - I have a date.
- You have a date? Yes, I have a date.
Saturday night I have a date.
- You do not.
- I do.
With whom? Someone my mother knows.
He's taking me to a steak house.
Your mother Set you up? On a date? No, that sounds like fun.
That sounds like a really good idea.
You should do that.
You should do that instead of going to a really cool party honoring the kid you discovered.
Who you've always liked, who is now a big TV star.
No, seriously.
A steak house? That sounds like much more fun.
Tom? According to your records, it was purchased from a dealer in Paris in 1985, Francois Melinot.
That's right.
I just spoke to monsieur Melinot.
The provenance seems to be accurately recorded.
And the sketch is charming.
Any number of my clients would love this.
Degas did many sketches of the little dancers, but this one has extraordinary grace notes.
- How much? - Heh.
Auctions are notoriously unreliable, but an authentic Degas sketch of this quality, 350.
What if I just wanted to sell it? Before we talk details, I'm a little concerned about the bill of sale.
It was a gift from my husband.
A wedding gift in fact.
But the bill of sale is in his name, you see.
Unless you have a letter of transfer? He didn't want it.
He doesn't even like it.
Nevertheless, he owns it.
Perhaps you could have him call me and I could explain the legalities.
'cause history is made at night so close the books, turn off the light and listen let my heart be the teacher Okay, hold on.
Hold on.
Just give us a second.
Your boys are hogging all the melody.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Heh.
You know, um, I should really get going.
I still have a lot of work to do.
Stay.
I like an audience.
Yeah, well an audience likes a coherent book.
So You sound great.
Okay.
Let's take it again.
'cause history is made at night so close the books, turn off the light and listen let my heart be the teacher no one here to disapprove as we review the lessons you've been missing Okay, guys.
Give a girl a chance.
Yeah, she's right.
There's too much sound in the mix, Tom.
It's eight voices.
They sound fantastic.
It's just at least while I'm learning it.
Sure, sure.
Karen, why don't you sit this one out? - I can tone it down.
- It's just for now.
We just need to hear the number without you.
Excuse me.
Let's take it again.
'cause history is made at night so close the books, turn off the light and listen no one here to disapprove as we review the lessons How's it going in there? How do you think it's going? It's horrible.
It's It's horrible.
And you guys are just horrible too.
Don't say "whoa," it's true.
She's trying to get me fired and you guys are, like, "she's a hick, she's from Iowa.
" I am just as good as any of you guys.
- Shh! They can hear.
- It's true.
I am the same as you.
You were all beginners too.
And I'm good.
I could've done that.
I could've slept with him.
I could've, he And I didn't.
And I wouldn't.
And that doesn't make me stupid or lame or untalented.
And she shouldn't be trying to get me fired.
And you should be trying to help me.
What are we doing? Jessica had a mother Theresa, come-to-Jesus moment.
- We're helping.
- $250? Flesh tone tights with fishnet stockings on top to get some texture.
You wear that under some loose pants, some high-top sneakers, and a sweater - cut off at the neckline.
- Okay.
You come into rehearsal with your hair down, go into the bathroom, take off your sweats and your sweater, put your hair up in a pony tail and come back in.
So it's like high school, you try and look like everyone else.
Exactly.
- Where do you take class? - What kind of class? Dance class.
We'll get you into ours, it's good.
But maybe tonight we should do an intervention.
Could we? Divorce is not the most fun thing that's ever happened to me in my life.
I'm trying to sell this sketch.
Yes.
Jerry's name is on the bill of sale.
It's a problem.
- Yes.
- I hate Jerry.
I used to love him.
That sketch looks to me like our happiness and I I don't know why it still looks that way.
Let's get you outta here.
Lyle west is in town, do you know him? We did Oliver together when he was 11 years old.
Well, Derek is throwing him a birthday party.
I don't think I'm up to it.
Just come for a little while.
Let me just call and make sure that Jerry's not gonna be there.
Lyle was such a sweet little boy.
"Please, sir, I want some more.
" Yeah, well that sweet boy is now a mega-zillionaire.
Yeah, don't you know? His last show was sold into syndication for $80 million.
It was just in the trades, just last week.
Derek oh, good.
I'm glad I caught you.
She's too big.
I didn't work my ass off for ten years just to be upstaged by somebody who doesn't even know I know, I get it, I'm just I'm saying you didn't have to pull a diva on her.
I didn't even pull half a diva.
And trust me, they never would have cut her just to make me feel better.
Ivy, baby, it's not like I know this chick.
I'm not all worried about her feelings, - it's just oh, no, look at this.
- What? My Mets, they have, like, no pitching this season.
- None.
- Well, I'm not apologizing.
Woman, for the last time I'm not asking you to apologize, I'm oh, my God.
Sam, the Mets are gonna be fine.
Not "oh, my God, the poor Mets.
" My God, you look amazing.
- I do? - You do.
- Really? - Really.
It's a Zac Posen.
I think it's only been worn once.
And the zipper still works and everything.
Me Hey, love, you're home late.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi, Bobby.
Dev, nice to meet you.
What the? Okay.
Karen? Sorry about this.
Everyone, this is my boyfriend Dev.
Well done, Iowa.
You're all here because We're doing an intervention.
Things haven't improved, I gather.
I'm not gonna lie, it's a disaster.
This is cute.
I'm not surprised, not everything lasts I've broken my heart so many times I've stopped keeping track I talk myself in, I talk myself out I get all worked up and then I let myself down I tried so very hard not to lose it I came up with a million excuses I thought I thought of every possibility but somehow I know that it'll all turn out and you'll make me work so we can work to work it out and I promise you, kid, that I'll give so much more than I get I just haven't met you yet they say all's fair in love and war but I won't need to fight it we'll get it right and we'll be united oh, you know that it'll all tn n out and you'll make me work so we can work to work it out hey, and I promise you, kid, that I'll give so much more than I get I just haven't met you yet Thank you.
- You look stunning.
- Your place is beautiful.
Thanks.
Lyle, this is Ivy.
She's playing my Marilyn.
I can immediately see why they cast you as Marilyn.
That dress is amazing.
Lyle.
This is very precocious behavior for a 15-year-old.
I'm 12, you jerk.
And precocious would be showing her the bedrooms.
Would you like to see the bedrooms? You're adorable.
She thinks I'm kidding I so wish you didn't think that.
You played beautifully.
I finished my mba at wharton, even though I knew that ultimately the law was going to be more compelling to me.
Why? How did you know? "Applied principles of macro-dynamics in developing economies.
" I was as bored as you look right now.
No.
Don't be polite, it's not necessary.
I'm boring myself, frankly.
I'm a little nervous.
You don't look nervous.
Seriously, I had no intention of going out on a date that my mother set up for me but then I checked you out online and I thought wow.
Yay, mom.
Hi, we're friends of Derek's.
I know who you are, Mrs.
Rand.
I have something here, I'd like to put it somewhere safe.
Sure, right this way.
I'll see you inside.
You know, Mrs.
Rand, I'm an actress and a dancer.
Not now, sweetheart.
Ellis? Julia, hi! This is my friend Cynthia.
Cyn.
People call me "Cyn.
" Julia is Tom's writing partner.
Of course.
I know who you are.
Well, he talks about you guys all the time.
He's, like, obsessed.
Not obsessed.
Interested.
I'm surprised to see you here, Ellis.
Is Tom here? I haven't seen him.
Excuse me.
Lyle? - Eileen.
- Hi.
Are you hiding here all alone on the stairs? I am.
It's so great that Derek did this for me but sometimes parties like this, I feel like I have to be "on.
" Well, you're a big star now.
You'd think you'd get used to it.
You'd be wrong.
I was really hoping to just see my friends.
Well, I think you'll find you have a lot of those now that your show's gone into syndication.
You got that right.
I was reading the trades and I thought, "mm, my goodness, what is Lyle gonna do with all that cash?" Well, I'm all over the map.
My business manager has me in Sri Lanka's Colombo stock exchange, the classic car market.
Drinks! Now what exactly is the problem? I think she's a wonderful dancer.
Her dancing isn't the problem, it's actually fierce.
It's not, like, all trained and perfect.
- But it's watchable.
- Watchable? I'm watching her and I usually like to watch myself in the mirror.
That's true.
- Ivy's the problem.
- Ivy's fine.
The problem is you, miss artichoke heart.
Golden sprout champion, and it was a great day for me so don't make fun of it.
Yeah, but you didn't sign up to be champion this time.
That's Ivy's job.
You signed up to be her backup singer.
- I'm trying.
- My God.
You are so not trying.
Ladies Should we show her how it's done? Move this table.
Please, help me.
- I'm getting a show? - You're getting a lesson.
- This way? - Yup.
We told you that we're in the same dance class.
Now watch and learn.
What are we doing? - Rumour has it.
- Perfect.
Lucky you.
Don't lose focus, eyes out.
Nobody's bigger than anybody.
Nobody's out of line.
Everybody's in it.
Five, six, seven, eight.
She, she ain't real she ain't gonna be able to love you like I will Stop.
Okay.
She is a stranger you and I have history or don't you remember? sure, she's got it all but, baby, is that really what you want I'm surprised no one's mentioned art to you.
It's the one investment that never loses its value.
Art and gold bullion.
You know why? - The Chinese.
- The Chinese like Degas? No, the Chinese like a good investment.
Currencies are failing, the stock market is a mess.
Art and gold bullion.
Those are your choices.
How much do you need? - 200,000.
- 200,000 that's all? Well, for those of us who aren't in syndication, that's rather a lot.
I tell you what.
I'll give you 175 for the drawing.
Keep it as collateral and you give me points.
Why would I give you the sketch if I'm giving you points? If Marilyn flops I still come out even.
And if it's a success, then you get your sketch back.
Which you wouldn't if you just sold it to me.
Little Lyle, all grown up.
- One point.
- Three.
and I get the money this week.
How do I know if the show's any good? I mean, it's all in the execution.
That's a fair question.
Scotch? - Find Tom.
- There you are.
Yeah, and do me a favor.
Get our DiMaggio on the phone too.
You want me to call Michael? Why? He he's probably at home with his family.
I don't want to Hold this Damn.
And one, two, three, four.
And five, six, seven, eight.
And one, two okay.
Too much.
Let me do it next to you.
Five, six, seven, eight.
- And one, two - No, no, stop pulling focus.
From the arms seven, eight.
One, two You guys are worse than the New York press.
One, two, three, four.
And one, two, three, four.
- Hi.
- Hi.
This better be good.
I don't actually know what it is.
- Hi - hi.
- John.
- What's going on? - I I don't know.
- God, look at you.
You need me? A-ha! The reinforcements have arrived.
I knew they would.
It's showtime.
Today is my birthday.
I'm so glad you're all here with me.
Thank you.
Derek Wills and Tom Levitt cast me my first musical off-Broadway when I was just eight years old.
So they were best friends as well as being the best friends an eight-year-old wannabe musical theater star could hope for.
And so I asked them, as a gift, to play me a song from their new musical Marilyn, and they said yes! Well, we've, uh, just started learning the big USO number where Marilyn sings to the troops.
That sound like something you might wanna hear? Yeah! It's in G, very easy changes.
Just read my mind.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Marilyn herself.
Ivy Lynn.
When you are born with sex appeal in the forest called Hollywood you'll find more wolves at your back door than that little red riding hood now she and her little old grandma could have learned from the men I've dated that a wolf can be quite a devotee once he's domesticated there's a lesson they should teach in school when a girl gets curvy and the boys all drool if math and science just ain't your style just give that teacher a wink for a passing grade you won't have to wait and you can thank him later when you graduate 'cause I never met a wolf who didn't love to howl no, I never met a man who wasn't on the prowl shimmy, shimmy, aw, gimme, gimme if a nice diploma you want to get well then make that teacher the student's pet yeah, I never met a wolf who didn't love to howl you never know where a wolf might crouch but his natural habitat's the casting couch so take lots of pictures of the wildlife to tell the wolf you could share with his wife the hunter gets captured by the game then Leo the lion will be roaring your name! yeah, I never met a wolf who didn't love to howl no, I never met a man who wasn't on the prowl shimmy, shimmy, aw, gimme, gimme if your face and figure are whistle-bait honey, you'll have the keys to the studio gate! yeah, I never met a wolf who didn't love to howl the three little piggies sure had it wrong when the wolf came a-knockin' in that old song if he's huffin' and puffin' and saying' "Marilyn, I gotcha" I said, "come on in," and I put on Sinatra oh, Frankie! a wealthy wolf likes to buy his toys but he really is just one of the boys if you've got something for which he's craving it sure is good that he's been saving be a fan, give his cheek a peck but get his autograph on a cashier's check! yeah, I never met a wolf who didn't love to howl no, I never met a man who wasn't on the prowl shimmy, shimmy, aw, gimme, gimme this wolf looks like he's ready to dine tell me where can I sign on the dotted line? yeah, I never met a wolf who didn't love to howl! oh, yeah! You are thrilling.
Honestly.
Thank you.
Are you still interested in showing me those bedrooms? Wonderful.
And this is the third bedroom.
This is even nicer Eileen, hi.
I-I'm so sorry.
There's no need to apologize.
I was just looking at past happiness.
But you're my happiness now.
You were wonderful.
Thank you.
I'll be by your office on Monday, Eileen.
That was so much fun.
I gotta go.
She rocked it, didn't she? Awesome.
Good night.
That was Impressive.
As impressive as the TV star? Is there a TV star here? I'm too dazzled by the piano player to notice.
Yay, mom.
Yeah, yeah, no Apart from the, uh, explosion at the Sewage Center in Queens, it was an utterly, wonderfully uneventful weekend.
Is he always on the phone? He was in charge of the press office all weekend.
He's important and good-looking.
- Stop.
- I've gotta go.
- I'll take care of these.
- I like him.
- Sweet.
- Thank you.
Hi.
- Gosh, I hate shots.
- Cheers.
Bottoms up.
Come on, Iowa, let's show 'em what the chorus looks like.
- You ready? - Okay.
- You ready for this? - We can do this.
- I can do this.
- Come on.
Hang on.
Where are you going? Don't bother.
I saw you, Derek.
- Saw me what? - That woman.
I saw you.
Everybody saw you.
Saw me what, flirting? - Your hand was on her ass.
- Ivy.
Everyone at this party is a potential investor, okay? So, yeah, I am gonna flirt, and I'm gonna put my hand on the asses of pretty women if it makes them feel that our show is the one they want to throw millions of dollars at.
It's meaningless.
How come you didn't tell me you cast Karen? She didn't get the part.
You did.
They loved you tonight.
This is who you are now.
Get used to it.
This show means everything to me.
- I just want to feel safe.
- Then go back to the chorus.
There's nothing safe about being a star.
You know, the bedrooms here really are incredible.
Perhaps you should show them to me then.
Five, six, seven, eight.
She, she ain't real she ain't gonna be able to love you like I will she is a stranger you and I have history or don't you remember? sure, she's got it all but, baby, is that really what you want? bless your soul, you've got your head in the clouds she made a fool out of you and, boy, she's bringing you down she made your heart melt but she's cold to the core now rumour has it she ain't got your love anymore rumour has it, ooh rumour has it, ooh, rumour has it, ooh rumour has it, ooh rumour has it, ooh, rumour has it, ooh rumour has it, ooh, rumour has it, ooh all of these words whispered in my ear tell a story that I cannot bear to hear just 'cause I said it don't mean that I meant it people say crazy things just 'cause I said it don't mean that I meant it just 'cause you heard it rumour has it rumour has it, rumour has it rumour has it come on now! rumour has it he's the one I'm leaving you for That was great!