Smiley (2022) s01e04 Episode Script

1
A NETFLIX SERIES
Hello. My name is Bruno.
And I'm giving this another chance.
Hope is the last to die, right?
I know that confessing this
on this app isn't the best idea,
but I'm after that feeling.
I I guess I worry that
I've forgotten how it feels to love.
I'm probably looking for it
in the wrong places,
but it doesn't hurt to keep trying.
Where you going?
- Have you seen my phone?
- No.
But let's look for it later.
- It's gotta be getting late.
- No.
I'm gonna get chewed out.
Oh good. Then you'll get fired.
- Then you can stay here in bed all day.
- Oh yeah?
Are you gonna pay my rent?
Are you gonna pay my rent or what?
Stop.
Shit, I have to go.
- Well, I should really get going.
- Okay.
You free later?
- You wanna grab a drink when you're off?
- Today?
Yeah, I have some time before work.
Wow. Still got a little milk
in the pantry?
Uh, no. My milk is just fine
where it's at.
I wanted to see
if you wanted to do anything else.
Anything else?
I don't know. We could watch a film.
I don't know. I'm not really into movies.
- You like cinema?
- I love it.
It could be something else, like
I don't know. We could play a video game,
or we could skate.
I mean, we could do more than fuck.
I'd like to get to know you a little.
We've seen each other the last few days
but I don't even know
what your last name is.
Ndiongue.
Right, uh
And your favorite food?
Uh, Spanish omelet, no onions.
No onions!?
How about Well, I dunno
What group of
What kind of music do you like?
Álex, I love fucking you. Believe me.
But I don't need to know all that
to keep doing it.
Yeah.
But I need it.
So we want different things then.
Sorry. Hey.
But we're cool, right?
We're cool, yeah.
I'm glad.
And, you know,
if you ever wanna empty the pantry
you have my number.
Yeah.
We're doing the Tió on the 25th
instead of Christmas Eve.
Okay
My parents are going away for St. Stephen,
so we're celebrating the 26th on the 24th
- No, no, no.
- Yes, yes, yes.
Christmas with your in-laws? Albert.
I'm sorry, Bruno.
Núria organized it.
And, with how things are,
it's best I do what she says.
That bad, huh?
Hello. Merry Christmas.
Well, or not. You never know
when to start saying it, do you?
- If you wait till Christmas Eve
- Mm-hmm. And, uh
- It's like "Happy New Year."
- Mm-hmm.
You never know when to quit.
There are people
who say it all January. Yeah.
- Yeah. Merry Christmas to you too, Ramón.
- Thanks.
Wait, Bruno. You put your name in?
- We're picking today.
- No, no. Put mine in.
- Would you do it for me, Ramón?
- Yeah, sure.
Appreciate it. Okay.
What a cunning fox you are.
Shh.
Hello, my name is Ibra. 25 years old.
Height, 5'10". Weight, 80 kilos.
Versatile, more of a top.
I live in Barcelona. I live alone.
A nice guy, according to my friends.
I'm into dancing, the gym,
the usual.
I'm looking for, I mean, just some fun.
Whatever we find, but no drama.
Surprise me in your message.
I'll be nice.
But brutally honest.
Uh, I need a photo of your face though.
So you two
won't see each other again?
I don't think so.
Well, I don't understand.
He was head over heels for you.
He used to stop by the stall complaining
that you weren't paying attention to him.
Should we set up the Nativity or not?
Don't you worry.
I'll have a word with him.
- Mom, that's not necessary.
- I really don't mind.
It's a pity. You'd be great together.
Mom, thanks, but, no. Leave it alone.
- Careful. They were your great-grandpa's.
- Mm-hmm.
The problem is you're too handsome.
Well! Since when is that a problem?
Everyone thinks
being handsome is a blessing.
But it's actually the opposite.
They'll never love you for who you are.
If you'd been born ugly, I swear that
you'd be married with children by now.
Don't listen to her.
If the Ibra thing didn't work out,
another guy will come along.
Hey! How about Pepita's son?
You mean from the drugstore?
He has blue hair. He can't be straight.
Wait, an open relationship?
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, I don't believe you.
- Yeah.
It's not just about sex though.
It's about us redefining
the terms of our relationship.
To feel more comfortable and freer
What are you saying? You're
gonna start fucking without each other?
No! No! No!
- We'll do everything together.
- Everything. That's right.
We want to see
how we feel about another girl,
and we'll see how it's going.
Yeah, but that's not being open.
That's a traditional threesome.
- What a change.
- Well, it'd be new for me.
You've never had one?
It's hard enough for me
to find one girl I'm into.
Imagine finding two.
But why are you doing it?
You're not happy together?
- Yes, we're happy.
- No, we're good.
We're fucking great, yes.
But there could be more.
I think it's great, 'cause we all need
to deconstruct ourselves.
And leave behind
the heteropatriarchal dynamics
that dictate how we conceive
our sex-affective relationships.
All right, Flor, honey.
They just want to fuck other girls.
That's all.
You don't need to layer it
with queer theory, okay?
No, I couldn't do it. It'd be a hard pass.
And, besides,
since I started seeing Natalia,
no one else makes me horny.
- Yeah. Not even she does now. Ooh!
- Cut it out.
Ohh!
So did you guys already start?
- So far we've created a profile on an app.
- Mm-hmm.
Hello. We are Vero and Patricia.
Mm-hmm. We've been together
for seven years.
She runs her own business,
and I work at a flower store.
And we're doing great
- Yeah, we're great.
- Yeah, great.
Mm-hmm.
But we're also interested
in exploring new things.
Mm-hmm.
We're looking for, uh,
what exactly?
- We're looking for a girl.
- A girl, right. A girl.
Yeah, that's right.
Yes, and, uh
Well, we don't have a type, really.
- Mm-mm.
- No.
So we're fine with pretty much
any color, size, or flavor.
Yeah, the important thing is that
the three of us connect
in a sincere, friendly way,
and that's all.
- Yeah.
- We'll see what happens.
It's not working
'cause you need to correct this height.
- Mm-hmm. We'd better adjust measurements.
- Here. Right there.
- I already took one.
- Really? When, though?
Five minutes ago.
Forgot already?
Hmm.
Bruno, you're up.
The maximum price is 30 euros,
and you can only swap presents
with somebody once.
Bruno, your turn.
Hmm?
- What are you doing?
- Nothing. Huh?
- What are you looking at?
- No, it's nothing.
- No No, I
- Let me see.
THE BAR BERO FAMILY
ÁLEX
Are you serious?
What? It's decoration, okay?
A little eye candy.
Bruno. If you like him that much,
then text him.
I already did.
The day after I sent him a smiley.
- A smiley?
- Mm-hmm.
Dude, what are you, 11, though?
No, but to him, it's not just a smiley.
It has significance. It's almost
- Look, forget it.
- Didn't he respond?
Should I send another?
Yeah, of course.
And then crawl through the mud too.
He could be a slow texter.
Don't do that.
Hey. Take a chance on Ramón.
Come on.
He's been sad lately. I don't know
He's been drawing
all his plans crooked.
Let me pick another.
- Please? Let me change it.
- No. Sorry.
No, no, no. Albert, don't fuck with me.
What am I looking for?
I hate this question.
It's what everyone always asks.
Well
I guess I'm looking for
a reason to get off this app.
Um
Aside from that, I really am fortunate.
I love what I do.
I'm an architect.
Uh, I like swimming, uh, a lot.
And K-pop.
Uh, Eurovision
manga, anime.
And I'm a gamer.
Video or role playing or
whatever game you like.
And done.
- The most important piece is still left.
- Ah!
Really.
I'll never understand
why this country feels
we need to have a guy doing his business
next to the Holy Family.
To remind us
that sometimes life is shitty.
Oh, by the way, there'll be four of us
on Christmas Day this year.
- I've invited Ramiro.
- Will he still be here?
He says the repairs on his boat
are taking longer,
and I felt bad
that he was spending Christmas alone.
I guess you've got this.
- What is it?
- Your mother.
- She's getting her hopes up with that man.
- That's not what this is!
Of course it is. You've seen each other
every day since he got here.
But you kept all this from us?!
That's cause there's nothing to explain.
We're just two old friends
catching up now after all these years.
- And nothing more.
- Rosita, I know you too well.
Nothing's happening.
Well to be honest, though,
if the circumstances were different,
maybe I would consider it.
- You see?
- But it's not possible.
Because Ramiro's leaving in a few days,
and I probably won't ever see him again.
Well, but look. Do you like him or not?
You know what we end up
talking about the most? Your father.
Maybe that's why I like
seeing him every day.
That and plus he's handsome.
- What? Show me a photo.
- Hey!
- No.
- Well, come on. Show me.
- Let me see his photo.
- Well, all right.
Come on.
- Just don't expect Sean Connery, huh?
- Yeah, right
Time hasn't been kind to him,
the poor guy.
Wait. I know this guy, though.
Good afternoon.
Well. Hey. It's good
to see you back again.
Ah! You're You're the transvestite.
Finally!
A guy who calls a spade a spade.
That's right "the transvestite."
These kids all call themselves
"drag queens" now, as if they invented it.
I was doing this years before them.
- Is Àlex here?
- Hm? No. He's off today.
- What'll you have?
- Uh, nothing, thanks.
- I'll be back tomorrow.
- No, no. Ch-ch-ch. Hey.
Don't say, "I'll be back."
- What are you, the Terminator?
- "I'll be back."
No, stay and have a beer. It's on me. Hmm?
I've had enough of chatting
with millennials today.
I'm sorry.
Hi, I'm Javier.
And I've been on this application
for so long that I might just move in.
Honestly, I don't know why I'm still here.
It's an addiction,
almost like Candy Crush.
Or it's the fear of missing out.
I usually just get told
that I'm fat, ugly, old.
Guys can be very cruel.
But I still check this every day.
To see if I've made it to the next level.
If I've gotten a date.
Or a nice response, maybe.
It's not a lot to ask. Is it?
And then there's the discreet ones.
Those are the worst.
Because they're queer,
but they all hate that they are.
The ones still in the closet?
Look how fast you learn.
Well, I guess they could be in the closet,
or maybe they're not.
But they always look like
they're very serious.
They're very macho.
They have a frown on their face.
They're so angry looking, like,
"I lead a straight life, and Pride is like
a circus that doesn't represent me."
Fuck off, you pussy.
Because then at 5:00 in the morning
you're all by the toilet in the disco
swallowing more swords
than a circus performer.
I'm sorry, honey. I'm embarrassing you.
No, no, no, no! It's just that, well,
on the boat, we don't really
discuss these topics.
Oh. Well, you had to have
seen things there, huh?
Surrounded by sailors,
the bow and on the stern,
on the high seas,
unable to go out for months.
You must have had
a very lonely life, didn't you?
I chose it.
And may I ask you why?
Because the one I really wanted
was impossible.
Hmm.
Well, it had to have been worth it, huh?
You've traveled halfway around the world,
traveled wherever you wanted.
And I'll tell you something,
better off alone than in bad company.
Right?
I always say
that at the end of the day,
when you get home,
the one waiting for you is yourself.
Or, if you're lucky, a dog.
I mean, they're the best. Aren't they?
And they never stop loving you,
no matter what.
And, in the end, you realize
that the person you have to be
at peace with is yourself.
Because, in the end,
most of the decisions
Well, most of the bad decisions we make,
are almost always
because we don't want to feel alone.
Hey, Ramiro.
Ramiro!
HOSTEL
So that guy came to see you at the bar
because he knew you were Rosa's son?
Well, maybe it was a coincidence,
'cause the guy didn't even know
it was a gay bar.
But it's still strange.
Yeah, I don't know. Let's see what I
Oh. Ooh, this one isn't bad.
They say, if you're looking for
something specific, you won't find it.
Well, unless, I suppose, you're looking
for your house keys, or whatever.
But But you get it. Don't you? Metaphors.
I am very open.
I'm cis-bisexual
and tend towards monogamy.
I like an orgy, but only as an idea.
Because, in reality,
it's like a buffet bar.
You end up stuffed,
and you don't really enjoy it
all that much.
She does look great, yeah.
But she isn't into threesomes.
Yeah, well, I didn't think
you would be either. Or Patri
- Patri even less.
- Come on, help me.
You sure this is
what you want to be doing?
The truth is it's been a long time
since I felt excited
starting something with Patri.
It'll be hard finding someone, though.
There are plenty of girls.
No, I mean finding her on an app.
I feel like I'm at Ikea,
searching through these girls.
Well, welcome to my world.
No. No complaining.
You've got them all at your feet.
- Sure, till they get tired.
- Yeah.
But But
- That's not it. What are you even doing?
- Just putting it on.
Well, no, Àlex. No, no.
Because you put the tip in first
before you do the rest.
Never mind. Here. Come on.
- Pillowcase duty.
- Okay.
You're getting on my nerves.
- Bruno wouldn't have gotten tired.
- No, Vero.
No. No talking about Bruno!
He sent you a smiley. Àlex, look. Come on.
You end up with the guy
who sends you dick pics?
And, who's surprised?
Oh! Absolutely nobody.
That he only wants to fuck you.
Fine. Sure, I was wrong.
What do I do about it now? Kill myself?
- Respond to the message.
- No. No, 'cause
- It's been a week since
- So what?
I mean, messages don't exactly
expire like yogurt, okay?
Just tell him that that you've been busy.
That you want to meet again.
I don't know, pigeon. Tell him
whatever you like. All right, come on.
- Let go.
- Hey. Would you like to see him again?
Well, I'd
- I would, to be honest.
- Then just text the guy!
- Hmm.
- Now.
No, not right now.
- I want to see you send it.
- I won't, because, Vero
Right now.
- Fine. Álex, do it. Come on, come on.
- Okay, fine.
All right.
- Now.
- Fine. I'm going, I'm going. Come on.
BRUNO THE SNOB:
THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN DELETED
- It's been erased.
- And?
That means he regrets sending it
and probably hates me.
- And doesn't want to see me again.
- Don't do that. It's no big deal.
There's no message in the world
I can send to fix this.
So what then?
Well, the same as always.
It's back to square one.
Hello. My name is Àlex. 32 years old.
Cis-gay, versatile.
I'm into training, music,
and also music festivals.
Primavera, Sónar, all that.
I'm looking for a guy who's cool
and who's interested in more than a fuck.
- Because I'm not
- You're hot.
- Thanks.
- Looking for anything now?
Um, why not?
What are you into?
Well, I'm versatile.
Come to my house.
There's three of us here.
'Cause I'm a naughty bottom.
I swallow ass, jizz, and piss too.
- Are you interested?
- Hmm.
I like having my mouth filled.
I also enjoy eating ass,
dick, armpits, feet. You like that?
Um, no, not really, to be honest.
I'm not into that either.
Getting to know each other gradually
is better, and penetrating the other
through the mind,
'cause I'm a sapiosexual.
Sapiowhat?
- I fall in love with intelligence.
- Ahh.
My ideal date is in a library.
- Huh.
- Mmm. Well, she's not that bad, huh?
- Sorry, I don't think it's for me, really.
- Are you into kinky situations?
We can go to the section
on poetry or essays.
I can wait at home,
blindfolded, if you want me to.
I'll buy both of you a book.
And a week later,
I'll meet you to discuss.
And you can sneak in silently
and feed me the bottle.
Everyone is too forward on here.
- The only thing they wanna know is
- Top or bottom?
- How big are you?
- Uh
Hey. You're not camp, right?
I don't want to be like that.
I'd rather meet up for a coffee,
go to the theater.
- It doesn't really matter what we do.
- For me, it matters. I hate camp guys.
I can't I mean,
camp people are just awful.
We can meet later.
But don't let my husband know.
When I see camp guys, I'm never really
turned on at all. You know?
Hey. I have nothing against them.
Everyone is the way they are.
I don't want to have sex until
at least the third time we've gone out.
And now he's away for the weekend
with the kids.
Do you want to have kids?
- Do you have nice tits?
- Are you discreet with this?
You got a nice ass?
It feels like you're interviewing me
for a job.
Is going all the way to third base
really that necessary?
Have you tried slamming?
- Are you into scat?
- I just don't believe in HIV, honestly.
I want you both on your knees now.
I'm not a racist, huh.
But I'm not into Latinas.
Are you into fisting?
BRUNO ARCHITECT BARCELONA
SUNYER ARCHITECTS BARCELONA
URBANISM - PROJECTS - ABOUT US
ABOUT US
THE TEAM
SALVADOR SUNYER, FOUNDER & CEO
BRUNO MERINO
ARCHITEC
- How are the boat repairs going?
- Uh, fine, fine. Well, it's all still
- It'll be a few weeks, more or less.
- Hmm.
They're just waiting on a part to come in.
How lucky that you're able to sleep
and eat on board, though.
- Imagine if you couldn't.
- Yes.
Well, in fact, we're still on our route,
even though we're delayed.
Well, that's strange.
Because I've heard
you're staying at a nearby hostel.
I also know that you went to see Àlex.
Tell me why you're back, Ramiro.
Because I've retired.
Okay?
And I lied
so that you wouldn't feel obliged
to fit me into your life,
but you took me in.
And I realized that you
you were the closest thing
I have ever had to a family.
Is that why you wanted to see Àlex?
- He looks so much like Juan.
- Hmm.
I can't take it anymore, Rosa.
I'm so tired of being alone.
You will never be alone, ever again.
I promise you.
Lost in the well ♪
Of my loneliness ♪
I find your love ♪
Without looking for it ♪
Oh!
Oh! Thank you.
Oh, the elders.
Old people and love.
What is it with old people and love? Hmm?
We look at them as if they were
as if they were creatures of light.
Like they can only be appreciated.
Well, no. They fall in love.
And they fuck like everyone else.
No, don't laugh. Don't laugh.
We'll all grow old eventually.
Well, not you, honey.
If you don't cut out the drugs,
you won't make it to 40.
But the rest of us yes. Hmm?
And I'm sure that, just like now,
we'll also be looking forward
to putting something in our mouths.
And one day, someone will look at you
and be completely disgusted.
And reject you.
And tell you that
you don't have the right.
If they do, what is our response?
Keena Mandrah!
"How boring!" Keena Mandrah! That's it.
No! Because you'll only be old, dear,
when you no longer have love.
Thank you all for coming.
That was sweet what she said about love.
Yeah. I think she got it from a movie.
No, but she's right, though.
One of my girlfriends is over 60
and
- Really?
- Well, experience is everything.
Mm-hmm.
If you want, I could introduce you
for your experiment.
What happened?
Well, she doesn't like the girls I do
and vice versa.
And if we find someone who is cool,
then she doesn't like us.
Come on, girls.
It can't be that difficult.
- Hmm.
- Well, we're particular.
Yeah, we have to be 100% sure
that she's perfect for us.
- Mm-hmm.
- It's just sex.
Stop making it into a thing.
Unless you're quitting?
- No, not at all.
- No, of course not.
- We're sure we want to do this.
- We're not backing out.
Okay, so do it with me. I'm serious.
It'll be fun, and, if it's bad,
we chalk it up to a few laughs.
Yeah, but we're friends. It's different.
Well, who hasn't
made out with a friend before?
And plus, you and I have made out
high on MDMA, come on, a thousand times.
This way you have practice,
and then
it's easier for the next. Huh?
Let's see
Look, I'm really busy all this week, but
tonight I'm actually available.
Are you sure you want to?
And this one is for
- Lis! Whoo!
- Ooh!
Let's see
Who is it?
- Shh You can't ask that, Lis.
- I want to trade it. I already have two.
Anyone wanna trade?
- Please, Lis. I will.
- I do.
- Whoo!
- Okay.
All right, what do we have here? Oh!
This is for Brrrrrr-uno!
- Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
- Thanks.
Let's see
Wow! 100 Romantic Comedies
You Must See Before You Die.
- Thank you for this.
- It was me.
I was your secret Santa.
Ah, thanks.
- You like it?
- A lot.
I'm gonna kill you.
- I didn't do anything.
- Sure.
I bet you've seen them all already.
Uh, well, that means
I can die now, right?
Mmm.
Hm! Let's see what else we have here.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Can I get in on that?
- Cava, that is.
- Sure.
I bought it since I know you love movies.
- Yes, it's easy to buy me gifts.
- Mm.
The Pikachu figurine was yours, wasn't it?
Because I loved it.
- Uh no. No, no, not mine.
- Mm-hmm.
And which one is your favorite?
- I don't know. There are so many.
- Name one. First one that comes to mind.
Let's see, um Notting Hill?
- With Julia Roberts?
- Yeah
- I love it.
- Really?
Yes, uh, let's see
Oh, what is it?
"I'm a girl who"
"I'm just a girl,
standing in front of a boy,
asking him to love her."
That's it.
Did you see this?
There's a section of famous quotes
from movies.
- Clitoris
- Uh-huh?
- My God!
- Oh!
It's Hey, hold this for me.
- Hello. May I help you?
- I'm looking for Bruno.
And what for?
Well, because, uh,
I'm renovating a house right now.
It's my mother's, actually,
and a friend recommended you guys.
- Well, he recommended him.
- Yeah, it's just we're closed.
Because of the Christmas party and all.
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
So he's not in, right?
All right, he is here.
But if you want to talk about a project,
I don't think he can help you now.
It'd be better to check
after the holidays.
Yeah.
That would be better.
Yes.
Who should I say came in?
"You can always tell what kind of a person
a man really thinks you are
by the earrings he gives you."
Breakfast at Tiffany's,
Blake Edwards.
- Very good.
- Mmm.
"When you realize you wanna spend
the rest of your life with somebody"
Oh
"you want the rest of your life
to start soon as possible."
Nora Ephron, When Harry met Sally.
"Draw me like one of your French girls."
Well, that's Titanic, but it's technically
not a romantic comedy.
- That one was easy.
- But did you know This is really cool.
Did you know that
Leonardo DiCaprio didn't know
that Kate Winslet was gonna get naked?
- Okay.
- And no one warned him.
- So he flubbed the lines.
- No!
But James Cameron liked it so much
that he kept it.
- Wait, really? No.
- He did.
You think there was room for both
on that door?
- Well, obviously. Don't you?
- Yes.
Look, Rose, Jack died there
because of you.
- Yeah.
- Another.
Okay, um
All right.
"That day, she was amazed to discover
that when he was saying, 'As you wish, '
what he meant was, 'I love you.'"
The Princess Bride, Rob Reiner.
You know every one.
You're just picking great movies.
Some day, if you want,
we can watch one together.
I don't mean one of these, I mean,
go to the theater
and see a new one or Yeah.
- Yeah.
- There are a lot of new ones coming out.
Mm-hmm. Uh
Sure. Well, maybe it'd be better
to wait until after the holidays, right?
'Cause of the holiday rush.
As you wish.
Uh, Ramón
Who is that?
- I'm sorry about that.
- No, Ramón, Ramón, uh
You're very nice.
- But I don't think that you and I
- I'm sorry.
Um
Look
Forget this happened, okay?
- No, but don't
- Um, merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.