Space Dandy (2014) s01e04 Episode Script
Sometimes You Can't Live with Dying, Baby
1 Space Dandy is a dandy in space.
He is a galaxy-wide alien hunter.
These are the spectacular tales of these alien hunters! These days, I don't know where I've come from I've forgotten the ways of love 'cause it's been a while For us, life is five minutes' introspection You're real pushy, but when your jewel is taken away, your beauty is touched by sadness Sometimes sending tears flying with a wild sha-la-Lu-la Looking at the shooting stars, it's simple We're all human Viva tears, it's okay for them to overflow, baby They're not wasted Can 't stop, I love you like this Tears, tears, that's right Those tears, will you leave them to me? When you fall, get right back up again Let's go together! Tell me "This is the best" again Tears, tears, goodbye! Isn't it this one? Um, a Stiltonian? Isn't the color a little different? Hm A Stiltonian's distinguishing characteristics are its quick movements and fast reflexes.
You call these fast reflexes? Seems a little slow.
Oh, the pattern here is also a little different.
Look, over here.
Stiltonians are gentle and friendly.
Then this alien is not a Stiltonian.
This must be an unknown alien.
All right! Letâs go to the registration center! I'm sure that guy's worth a lot of reward money! At the time, they thought that the creature they had caught was a new species of alien.
They did not doubt it one bit "Sometimes You Can't Live With Dying, Baby" However, strange phenomena began to happen a few hours later.
Oh? Meow, you look pale.
Meow, get me some ice.
Ic e Huh? Man, you're slow.
Do you think there's something wrong with Meow? He's probably sick.
He just needs some sleep.
Meow, can you take a look at our course'? Ah Hm? Uh Have you noticed that all Meow says recently is "Ah" and "Uh"? He's probably sick.
He just needs some sleep.
Look, look! He's showing no reaction at all.
He's just sick.
Right? Is he really just sick? "Galaxy Hospital" No pulse, no heartbeat, no vital signs at all.
What? Yeah, he's dead no matter how I look at it.
What was he again? A Betelgeusian.
Why don't we keep him here for tests for now? If you need anything, just push the call button.
I'll be right here.
Please slop.
I've decided.
I'm going to be hospitalized, too.
Huh? It was careless of me to think only of Boobies.
I didn't think this'd be such a great place! Don't say stupid things.
We're going home.
But I want nurses to take care of me, too, baby! No.
Hey, wait! No.
Where did Dandy go? He could not have gotten far.
Dr.
Gel, Th-they're here! Who? What are you people?! I sent them.
A-Admiral Perry! They are reckless mercenaries paid for by the Gogol Empire.
Reckless mercenaries Doctor.
That man was seen in the vicinity of Galaxy Hospital two hours ago.
All right! Use these mercenaries to capture him today, once and for all! You will not he able to eat until after tomorrow's tests.
Hm? Wh-What? W-Wait! I want to get along with the nurse Being, being, being, bouncy bounce' Don't you think something's a little strange? What is? Well, you know.
Look.
Hm? Oh, don't worry about the details.
What? But, do people usually do that? Um Hello, ladies.
We meet again.
Hm? You look pale.
Are you tired from working the night shift? Oh, you'll have to wait in line to get a hug.
I'm happy to see you, loo! Dandy, I'm telling you, there's something weird about this! Hm? H-Hey, what's going on? Don't move! What?! Damn it! What are they? Do you think they could he zombies? Seriously? R-Run, QT! Currently, the target is running away from Ward 3.
Huh? What? Hey! What's wrong? It's no use! Run away! No way Is it that man's doing? If he knew we were coming Are you saying it's a trap? Meow, we're running away! What the heck? The place that was supposed to be my paradise is ruined, baby! But this hospital wasn't like this yesterday, was it? Could it be that the alien we found wasn't unknown, but was just a Stiltonian that had turned into a zombie? If so, then it would make sense for it to he pale and slow.
Really? Take this! - What are you doin? - Idiot! You're a robot, aren't you? Machines can't turn into zombies! That's mean! Stop it! Damn it! These guys QT? What?! You're a machine.
Why'd you turn into a zombie?! Damn it! Damn, there are zombies everywhere! All right! Those guys QT, Meow.
I won't forget you guys.
Adios, amigos.
I will survive.
I will survive and live a long life! Huh? A zombie 's morning starts early.
A few months have passed since that fateful day, and our heroes have turned into the beings called zombies.
At first, they could not accept the tact that they had become zombies and tried to find a way to turn back.
However, they could not find a way to turn back anywhere.
Despair and the inexplicable craving for raw meat Despair and raw meat.
Endlessly repeating the cycle of despair and raw meat, Dandy and the others were haunted by the meaninglessness of their lives.
And then Dandy thought "That's right!" "When in trouble, I should ask someone who's already gone through the same thing.
" In this case, that was the strange alien they had captured a few months earlier that they had forgotten about.
In other words, their senior zombie.
At first glance, it may seem like zombies just groan, but it has been discovered that zombies actually communicate with their own language.
Their senior zombie said, "It's not that bad being a zombie.
" "First of all, you don't have ta spend much on food.
" "Want some?" "No, thanks.
" Then their senior zombie said, 'While it may not be true for all zombies," "I eat yogurt every day, and it makes me feel healthier.
" "Changing your thinking may let you lead a happy zombie life.
Goad luck.
" Saying this, their senior zombie left.
At first glance, it may seem like zombies are expressionless, but it has been discovered that they have ways of expressing their emotions as well.
Joy.
Anger.
Sadness.
Zombies have a wealth of expressions like these.
Dandy and the others started eating yogurt, like their senior told them to.
And when they did, what do you think happened? They started to feel just a little bit healthier.
What's so good about yogurt? That's right, the lactic acid bacteria.
"We are not rotting," "we're fermenting!" By replacing the word "rotting" with the more positive word, "fermenting", our half-rotting heroes were able to be more positive, too.
Then Dandy thought, "There's not that big of a difference between being dead and being alive.
" However, there was a big problem with their zombie life, and that was that their movements were extremely slow.
Even if they found a new species of alien, they could not capture it.
Dandy and the others, who made their living as alien hunters, could not make any money at all.
Even if they had become zombies, they still needed money for fuel and lighting and for going to Boobies.
Not being able to go to Boobies was the same as being dead to Dandy.
"I would rather be dead.
" "You're already dead.
You're a zombie.
" "That's right!" "I'm dead, baby!" But then, at that moment, Dandy remembered.
In the past, he had bought a life insurance policy from an agent with a nice body.
Huh? Whose death are you reporting? Whose? Ala, you 're alive, aren't you? It took a long time for Dandy to prove that he was dead.
Dandy and the others made a nuisance of themselves frequenting the ward office, and were somehow able to get a death certificate.
In this way, Dandy got the payout from his life insurance policy, and they ate lactic acid bacteria and sunned themselves occasionally to keep from rotting.
They brushed their teeth, checked their rate of hair lass, and were regulars at Boobies.
Dandy! Long time no see! You weren't coming around at all, so there were rumors going around that you were dead.
You look a little pale.
Oh well.
Fortunately, this was space.
Even if they were zombies, they were not discriminated against.
Thanks for waiting! Cheers! They were able to live peaceful zombie lives.
From this comes the expression, "In space, zombies don 't stand out very much.
" Changing the subject, this is what happened to Dr.
Gel and the mercenaries who also turned into zombies at the hospital Do you know haw much the Gogol Empire spent an this operation? Ah Haw do you plan an faking responsibility for this'? Ah Stop saying "Ah"! That's enough messing around! They incurred the wrath of Admiral Perry and became lost in space.
Changing the subject again, let's' take a look at what happened to some others from the hospital who became zombies.
"Voices changed to protect privacy.
" He became a zombie at that hospital and met a girl who had also become a zombie, and now they are living together.
"Hm? Where do we go on dates?" "I think we go to the mall a lot.
" "For some reason, we have the inexplicable urge to go to the mall.
" A dark shadow is creeping on their zombie life.
The appearance of the zombie hunters.
They are skilled snipers hired by the insurance companies, and they shoot zombies living on their own insurance money through the head to make sure they really die.
Of course, it's not murder to kill someone who's already dead.
Dandy was not an exception.
He was also being targeted by the zombie hunters.
One adult ticket, please.
Because even the zombie hunter and the employees at the insurance agency that employed them turned into zombies, zombies were able to live peacefully once again.
And everyone in the world turned into zombies at an astonishingly fast pace.
It is an age where even robots turn into zombies.
The day has finally come when every living thing has become a zombie.
No more species, no more sickness, no more differences.
Everyone has become equal as zombies, and since then, the world has become one "To be continued" Hey, Everett What am I like in your world? Let me take a peek Hey, Everett According to you, there are lots Of different worlds I'm not sure I understand "Hi, Dandy" "Hello" "How are you doing?" Hey, Ph.
D.
The alternate worlds will always be parallel It's enough to blow my mind Oh, once it cools, it hardens When heated, it melts This world is so full of rules, it's gonna fall apart One dimension, two dimensions, three dimensions A supernova falling from west to east Easy Game, Easy Game, too Easy Game Going is fine, but what about coming home? Oh, the dream of a never-ending dream A melty, milky kiss How far will this world expand? Next time, on Space Dandy We'll be bringing you a heartwarming story.
Heartwarming? You mean like getting treated for heartworm or something? It's probably not that.
Next time, "A Merry Companion is a Wagon in Space, Baby.
" "Next time: A Merry Companion is a Wagon in Space, Baby" Look forward to it!
He is a galaxy-wide alien hunter.
These are the spectacular tales of these alien hunters! These days, I don't know where I've come from I've forgotten the ways of love 'cause it's been a while For us, life is five minutes' introspection You're real pushy, but when your jewel is taken away, your beauty is touched by sadness Sometimes sending tears flying with a wild sha-la-Lu-la Looking at the shooting stars, it's simple We're all human Viva tears, it's okay for them to overflow, baby They're not wasted Can 't stop, I love you like this Tears, tears, that's right Those tears, will you leave them to me? When you fall, get right back up again Let's go together! Tell me "This is the best" again Tears, tears, goodbye! Isn't it this one? Um, a Stiltonian? Isn't the color a little different? Hm A Stiltonian's distinguishing characteristics are its quick movements and fast reflexes.
You call these fast reflexes? Seems a little slow.
Oh, the pattern here is also a little different.
Look, over here.
Stiltonians are gentle and friendly.
Then this alien is not a Stiltonian.
This must be an unknown alien.
All right! Letâs go to the registration center! I'm sure that guy's worth a lot of reward money! At the time, they thought that the creature they had caught was a new species of alien.
They did not doubt it one bit "Sometimes You Can't Live With Dying, Baby" However, strange phenomena began to happen a few hours later.
Oh? Meow, you look pale.
Meow, get me some ice.
Ic e Huh? Man, you're slow.
Do you think there's something wrong with Meow? He's probably sick.
He just needs some sleep.
Meow, can you take a look at our course'? Ah Hm? Uh Have you noticed that all Meow says recently is "Ah" and "Uh"? He's probably sick.
He just needs some sleep.
Look, look! He's showing no reaction at all.
He's just sick.
Right? Is he really just sick? "Galaxy Hospital" No pulse, no heartbeat, no vital signs at all.
What? Yeah, he's dead no matter how I look at it.
What was he again? A Betelgeusian.
Why don't we keep him here for tests for now? If you need anything, just push the call button.
I'll be right here.
Please slop.
I've decided.
I'm going to be hospitalized, too.
Huh? It was careless of me to think only of Boobies.
I didn't think this'd be such a great place! Don't say stupid things.
We're going home.
But I want nurses to take care of me, too, baby! No.
Hey, wait! No.
Where did Dandy go? He could not have gotten far.
Dr.
Gel, Th-they're here! Who? What are you people?! I sent them.
A-Admiral Perry! They are reckless mercenaries paid for by the Gogol Empire.
Reckless mercenaries Doctor.
That man was seen in the vicinity of Galaxy Hospital two hours ago.
All right! Use these mercenaries to capture him today, once and for all! You will not he able to eat until after tomorrow's tests.
Hm? Wh-What? W-Wait! I want to get along with the nurse Being, being, being, bouncy bounce' Don't you think something's a little strange? What is? Well, you know.
Look.
Hm? Oh, don't worry about the details.
What? But, do people usually do that? Um Hello, ladies.
We meet again.
Hm? You look pale.
Are you tired from working the night shift? Oh, you'll have to wait in line to get a hug.
I'm happy to see you, loo! Dandy, I'm telling you, there's something weird about this! Hm? H-Hey, what's going on? Don't move! What?! Damn it! What are they? Do you think they could he zombies? Seriously? R-Run, QT! Currently, the target is running away from Ward 3.
Huh? What? Hey! What's wrong? It's no use! Run away! No way Is it that man's doing? If he knew we were coming Are you saying it's a trap? Meow, we're running away! What the heck? The place that was supposed to be my paradise is ruined, baby! But this hospital wasn't like this yesterday, was it? Could it be that the alien we found wasn't unknown, but was just a Stiltonian that had turned into a zombie? If so, then it would make sense for it to he pale and slow.
Really? Take this! - What are you doin? - Idiot! You're a robot, aren't you? Machines can't turn into zombies! That's mean! Stop it! Damn it! These guys QT? What?! You're a machine.
Why'd you turn into a zombie?! Damn it! Damn, there are zombies everywhere! All right! Those guys QT, Meow.
I won't forget you guys.
Adios, amigos.
I will survive.
I will survive and live a long life! Huh? A zombie 's morning starts early.
A few months have passed since that fateful day, and our heroes have turned into the beings called zombies.
At first, they could not accept the tact that they had become zombies and tried to find a way to turn back.
However, they could not find a way to turn back anywhere.
Despair and the inexplicable craving for raw meat Despair and raw meat.
Endlessly repeating the cycle of despair and raw meat, Dandy and the others were haunted by the meaninglessness of their lives.
And then Dandy thought "That's right!" "When in trouble, I should ask someone who's already gone through the same thing.
" In this case, that was the strange alien they had captured a few months earlier that they had forgotten about.
In other words, their senior zombie.
At first glance, it may seem like zombies just groan, but it has been discovered that zombies actually communicate with their own language.
Their senior zombie said, "It's not that bad being a zombie.
" "First of all, you don't have ta spend much on food.
" "Want some?" "No, thanks.
" Then their senior zombie said, 'While it may not be true for all zombies," "I eat yogurt every day, and it makes me feel healthier.
" "Changing your thinking may let you lead a happy zombie life.
Goad luck.
" Saying this, their senior zombie left.
At first glance, it may seem like zombies are expressionless, but it has been discovered that they have ways of expressing their emotions as well.
Joy.
Anger.
Sadness.
Zombies have a wealth of expressions like these.
Dandy and the others started eating yogurt, like their senior told them to.
And when they did, what do you think happened? They started to feel just a little bit healthier.
What's so good about yogurt? That's right, the lactic acid bacteria.
"We are not rotting," "we're fermenting!" By replacing the word "rotting" with the more positive word, "fermenting", our half-rotting heroes were able to be more positive, too.
Then Dandy thought, "There's not that big of a difference between being dead and being alive.
" However, there was a big problem with their zombie life, and that was that their movements were extremely slow.
Even if they found a new species of alien, they could not capture it.
Dandy and the others, who made their living as alien hunters, could not make any money at all.
Even if they had become zombies, they still needed money for fuel and lighting and for going to Boobies.
Not being able to go to Boobies was the same as being dead to Dandy.
"I would rather be dead.
" "You're already dead.
You're a zombie.
" "That's right!" "I'm dead, baby!" But then, at that moment, Dandy remembered.
In the past, he had bought a life insurance policy from an agent with a nice body.
Huh? Whose death are you reporting? Whose? Ala, you 're alive, aren't you? It took a long time for Dandy to prove that he was dead.
Dandy and the others made a nuisance of themselves frequenting the ward office, and were somehow able to get a death certificate.
In this way, Dandy got the payout from his life insurance policy, and they ate lactic acid bacteria and sunned themselves occasionally to keep from rotting.
They brushed their teeth, checked their rate of hair lass, and were regulars at Boobies.
Dandy! Long time no see! You weren't coming around at all, so there were rumors going around that you were dead.
You look a little pale.
Oh well.
Fortunately, this was space.
Even if they were zombies, they were not discriminated against.
Thanks for waiting! Cheers! They were able to live peaceful zombie lives.
From this comes the expression, "In space, zombies don 't stand out very much.
" Changing the subject, this is what happened to Dr.
Gel and the mercenaries who also turned into zombies at the hospital Do you know haw much the Gogol Empire spent an this operation? Ah Haw do you plan an faking responsibility for this'? Ah Stop saying "Ah"! That's enough messing around! They incurred the wrath of Admiral Perry and became lost in space.
Changing the subject again, let's' take a look at what happened to some others from the hospital who became zombies.
"Voices changed to protect privacy.
" He became a zombie at that hospital and met a girl who had also become a zombie, and now they are living together.
"Hm? Where do we go on dates?" "I think we go to the mall a lot.
" "For some reason, we have the inexplicable urge to go to the mall.
" A dark shadow is creeping on their zombie life.
The appearance of the zombie hunters.
They are skilled snipers hired by the insurance companies, and they shoot zombies living on their own insurance money through the head to make sure they really die.
Of course, it's not murder to kill someone who's already dead.
Dandy was not an exception.
He was also being targeted by the zombie hunters.
One adult ticket, please.
Because even the zombie hunter and the employees at the insurance agency that employed them turned into zombies, zombies were able to live peacefully once again.
And everyone in the world turned into zombies at an astonishingly fast pace.
It is an age where even robots turn into zombies.
The day has finally come when every living thing has become a zombie.
No more species, no more sickness, no more differences.
Everyone has become equal as zombies, and since then, the world has become one "To be continued" Hey, Everett What am I like in your world? Let me take a peek Hey, Everett According to you, there are lots Of different worlds I'm not sure I understand "Hi, Dandy" "Hello" "How are you doing?" Hey, Ph.
D.
The alternate worlds will always be parallel It's enough to blow my mind Oh, once it cools, it hardens When heated, it melts This world is so full of rules, it's gonna fall apart One dimension, two dimensions, three dimensions A supernova falling from west to east Easy Game, Easy Game, too Easy Game Going is fine, but what about coming home? Oh, the dream of a never-ending dream A melty, milky kiss How far will this world expand? Next time, on Space Dandy We'll be bringing you a heartwarming story.
Heartwarming? You mean like getting treated for heartworm or something? It's probably not that.
Next time, "A Merry Companion is a Wagon in Space, Baby.
" "Next time: A Merry Companion is a Wagon in Space, Baby" Look forward to it!