St. Denis Medical (2024) s01e04 Episode Script

1
[GRUNTS] Yeah, it's a
steady, throbbing pain
just right here on my lower
Oh, come on.
That's embarrassing.
[EXHALES]
Joyce rolled out a new
Featured Employee segment
starring yours truly.
I'm something of an
ambassador for St. Denis,
first face you see when
you walk in the door.
You know, some people
see that photo and go,
"Is that a doctor or a model?"
And I'm like, come on.
Really?
You know, that's ridiculous, a model.
[SNORTS]
But yeah, I do a little modeling.
It's, uh, even worse when I cough.
Yeah, well, it's your appendix.
Gotta come out.
But don't worry,
'cause you got that guy.
Oh, shoot.
No, hold on.
I'm usually after the lupus girl.
There. [SNAPS FINGERS]
That guy.
- OK.
- [CHUCKLES]
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
♪
Candace can be in triage,
and Rene and Sharice
will be in Zone A with
Nurse Matt.
He'd be good.
[LAUGHS] No, that that was me.
But, uh, I'd love to do Zone A.
Also, I've never worked
with Rene or Sharice.
Me neither.
But they tend to work
with Tal and Dolores.
Oh, yeah.
They are together a lot.
Because of the Filipino mafia.
- What?
- The Filipino mafia.
That's something that
that they call themselves.
We don't just call them that. [LAUGHS]
Hospitals can feel like high school.
There's cliques and
hierarchy and mean girls.
And I'd say Rene is
definitely the Regina George.
But the mafia is really good,
so you just don't mess with them.
[SPEAKING TAGALOG]
Hey.
I'm not Filipino.
He just assumed. And it's kind of nice.
I never realized you put them together
because they're Filipino.
No, that's not no, no.
Oh, are they not Filipino?
Yeah, no, they are.
But just please
stop saying that word.
Wait, is that a slur?
I've just been going around saying
Just stop, OK?
The four of them work together.
That's just the way
that it's always been.
Got it. You know, my
grandpa used to say,
"That's the way it's always been."
- It's my cue to stay hush.
- Mm-hmm.
Otherwise, I'm doing hard
time in the seed closet.
OK, I I need you to go to
114 with Dakota and Brandon.
114 with the other whites.
Who would actually write this?
It's so unhinged.
Hey.
What's going on now?
Oh, I found this crazed
note on my car last night.
"Nice parking, idiot.
You're probably too dumb to read,
but try sounding this out
[BLEEP] you, moron."
Three exclamation points.
[LAUGHTER]
Yes, I wrote the note.
And no, I did not know
it was Serena's car.
I mean, she parked
this close to my door.
Who even does that?
There's no point in saying anything
because I'm sure the next outrage
will be coming any minute now.
Last week, they ran out of
cold brew on the coffee cart.
Poor Janine.
They tore that woman apart.
Val, what flavor is this mint?
It's mint.
Disgusting.
OK.
Oh, no.
This is really getting to be too much.
Wait for it.
"Do no harm' simply isn't enough.
I seek to do negative harm, I.E., good."
- I actually made that up.
- I believe you.
- Really nice.
- Thank you.
Actually, that reminds me
I need to find a new featured employee.
I'm sorry, what's that
now? Why why would why?
Why?
Well, it's the quarterly
featured employee,
and we're going into the next quarter.
Right.
Yes, quarters.
Mm.
This quarter really just flew by.
February is a shorter month, so a
little short-changed on that one.
Well, I'm hoping to find
a new featured today.
Oh, God.
Val, do you have, like, a
piece of salami or something?
That was oppressively minty.
- No.
- OK.
- All right.
- No.
- All right.
- Hey, everybody.
Real quick, guys.
If you can just gather around, OK?
I have a couple of
assignment changes for today.
I'm in charge now.
And who says I have to
just accept the status quo?
I mean, like, maybe I can bring about
real change
with intersectionality
and inclusivity and and
Renee and Sharice,
I'm gonna have you two
over in Zone B. Parker
Sorry, why are we doing this?
Oh, just, you know, mixing things up.
And it's really busy
over in Zone B today,
so, you know, let's get
some of our best over there.
OK.
Uh, Candace and Julian,
you guys are gonna
start in Zone A, all right?
- And
- [KNOCKING]
Knocky, knocky.
Oh.
Joyce, hate to interrupt, but, uh
whoa.
What do we have here?
Oh, just a bunch of
people I'd like to murder.
[LAUGHTER]
That was a dumb joke.
I don't know why I said that.
Uh, actually, these are candidates to be
our new featured employee.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, look at that.
My usurpers.
[LAUGHS] Nah, I'm kidding.
Four more years.
Kidding. It's time. It's time.
- Well, I am leaning towards Holly.
- Mm.
She's very caring. She's a hard worker.
Got gorgeous skin.
Oh, yeah, I love Holly.
She's great.
Really good girl.
The skin, yeah.
But what is it about Holly
that just doesn't pop?
You know?
I I don't know.
I mean, if we have to ask,
maybe that's your answer?
Oh, you're right.
Maybe I can do better than Holly.
- Maybe.
- Huh.
And did you see it's written on the back
of a Señor Salsa receipt?
Yeah, they ordered 18 tacos
with extra inferno sauce.
This might as well have
been a suicide note.
[SNICKERING]
Janine ran out of cold brew again?
What is up with her?
Her husband died.
You signed the condolence card.
Right, yeah, but I mean
Oh, Dr. Cassidy.
We need a psych opinion.
Oh, sure.
Can you tell if the person
who wrote this is a psychopath?
All right.
Um, well, pressure on the pen,
- so there's some aggression there.
- You think?
[BOTH SNICKERING]
Some grease stains on the receipt.
Little care for personal hygiene.
Oh, so we're looking for a crazy slob,
someone really gross.
They were taquitos,
which are much smaller
than regular tacos, all right?
Yes, I wrote the note,
not because I'm a psycho,
but because I was frustrated
because someone blocked me
from entering my vehicle.
What?
Why didn't you say something?
OK, no biggie.
Well, fine. Let's move on, then.
Who goes to Señor Salsa at 9:00 a.m.?
They were breakfast taquitos, man.
Oh, uh, hey, just to double check,
you wanted Raj working alone in Zone B
and everyone else in Zone A?
What?
Rene, sorry, just to clarify,
I meant that you and Sharice
are in Zone B all day today.
Yeah, we know.
OK, so you're just gonna finish up here,
and then you're gonna head over?
Honestly, we are pretty busy over here,
so I think we'll just stay in Zone A.
What do you think, Sharice?
I agree.
She agrees.
OK, well, then, yeah,
we'll just we'll just
we'll just keep the
original assignments.
Uh, and you stay here and
irrigate that hand wound.
- Yeah, that's what I'm doing.
- Great.
- Keep doing that, then.
- I am.
- Sounds good.
- Mm-hmm.
- Rene?
- Yeah.
No, we're not friends, but I'd say
we have a respectful
working relationship.
I mean, I'm not sure if he respects me,
and we don't really have a relationship,
OK, Dakota, Brandon, can you
guys go over to Zone B for me?
Do we have to?
Well, yeah.
I mean, I'm in charge, so yes.
Why did Rene and Sharice get to say no?
Do you like them better than us?
- [SIGHS]
- Guys, come on.
- It has nothing to do with that.
- Exactly.
It's because they're Filipino.
Nope, that is not what it is.
Oh, uh, sorry.
It may be clearer if I say it's
because you are not Filipino.
Matt, stop.
The guy that I've been
on a couple dates with,
his stepmom is Filipino.
Does that count?
Brandon, what are you doing right now?
I don't know.
But I know that I don't
want to go to Zone B
because it smells like beef.
OK, this is not a discussion.
Please go to your zones.
Ugh.
[SIGHS]
OK, how about Dr. Rodriguez?
Uh, she's a good doctor,
but she takes her shoes off
in the staff room.
OK.
Uh, Daniel from labs.
No, no.
He got really weird at
the hospital softball game.
Told me to stop screaming,
whatever that means.
Let's see. Talks about
her IBS all the time.
No, looks way too much like Mr. Bean.
It's distracting.
OK, Bruce, you've poked holes in
just about everyone in this hospital.
OK, well, not to point fingers, Joyce,
but I'm not the one
who hired these people.
Uh, mm, she knows why.
OK, you know what?
I think I've got it.
- I'll take it from here.
- Oh, wow.
Thank you.
OK. [SCOFFS]
People lash out when they
have unaddressed trauma.
This note is absolutely
All right, enough already.
You parked so close to me
that I had to climb
through the passenger side,
over the center console,
past all of my beverages,
like I was a teenager doing a crab walk.
All your beverages?
Sad.
You should never talk
to a woman like that.
Well, I didn't know I
was talking to a woman.
I was talking to a Honda.
Guys, truly, it's not
that big of a deal.
Just let it go.
Thank you.
Before I knew it was
Ron who wrote the note,
my first thought was, incel.
But now that I know, I'm
like, of course it's Ron.
He's like our cranky uncle
who probably had diarrhea
from going nuts at Señor Salsa.
I can't stay mad at him for that.
18 taquitos would mess your butt up.
Ron had a tiny psycho
moment, and it's over, OK?
We've all been there.
It wasn't a psycho moment
because I was not the aggressor.
That note was a response to
an aggressive move by you.
I don't think anything
justifies that response.
Yeah, OK.
- Ow!
- Oh, wow, Keith.
What a psychotic response to
my clearly aggressive move.
Right, guys?
Oh, sorry.
No, no, Keith, I was
trying to prove a point.
You can't just put your hands
on somebody else's body, Ron.
No, guys, I think he was right.
- I messed up.
- I no, Keith.
[SIGHS]
Um, excuse me.
Matt, are you wearing
earbuds on the floor?
Uh-oh. Busted.
Breaking the rules and regs.
This might seem a little silly,
but we planned a scenario
where I reprimand Matt.
Imagine.
Yeah, we thought it might help as, like,
a little authority reminder.
Yeah, and I did some acting
in my all boys' youth group,
so this will be easy.
I played the back half of the
T-rex that Mary Magdalene rode.
You know this isn't allowed, Matt.
Now, what are we gonna do about this?
Please.
I don't want this to be like last time.
Why? What happened last time?
I can't say
because of what happened last time
I talked about what happened last time.
Which which was a firm and
fair and normal punishment.
Yeah, uh, nothing physical,
just emotional and mental.
Oh, my God, Matt.
OK, that's not actually listen
He's never gonna learn
if you just humiliate him
in front of everyone.
- I agree.
- Thank you, Sharice.
Maybe you could
actually try teaching him
instead of just yelling at him?
I
Oh, wow.
Thank you.
Hey, before you pinch anyone else,
I just want you to know
I did not mean for this
to blow up the way it did.
I appreciate that.
And, um, if I had a little more
time, and if I knew it was you,
I probably would have,
uh, rephrased that note.
I'll be the bigger person here and say,
it's all in the past, all is forgiven,
and we can just laugh it off.
How are you the bigger person exactly?
What do you mean?
Well, I was the victim,
so only I have the power
to be the bigger person.
Well, I was the victim of your note.
You were the recipient of my note.
Ron, if anyone else
left me a note like that,
I would make it my life's
mission to take them down.
But I'm letting it go because
it's you and I like you.
I'm willing to let it
go because I like you.
I like you.
I don't know what Rene's problem is.
You know, I know we're not friends,
but I thought we at
least had mutual respect.
And you did, when you
stayed in your own lane.
Then you messed with
the order of things.
I mean, I am in charge, so technically,
I'm allowed in all of the lanes.
I mean, really, I'm
making the lanes, you know?
They're all my lanes.
Did you just move away from me?
Know that I am on your side in spirit,
but for my reputation, I
need to keep my distance
and talk about you behind your back.
What the hell, Val?
It's OK. I won't really mean it.
Won't mean what?
What what what is that?
What what were you doing?
Know that I'm on your side in spirit,
but I can't be seen with you either.
Conflicts escalate when
two people can't understand
each other's points of view.
But experience breeds empathy.
So I'm gonna show Serena what it's like
when someone else parks
the same way she did.
Then she'll know who the real psycho is.
A little closer.
A little close oh!
Damn.
[BLEEP].
[BLEEP]. [BLEEP].
[LOUD SCRAPING]
[BLEEP].
Oh, Lord.
I was sure I could find an
outstanding employee, but
I don't know the way Bruce
shined a light on things
what's the opposite of
rose-colored glasses?
Turd goggles?
'Cause I'm seeing the
staff through turd goggles.
This chicken's very spicy.
What do you call it?
Costco rotisserie chicken.
Well, hey, look.
We're all here.
Well, yeah, it's the break room,
and we're all on break.
[LAUGHS] That is perfect, Rene,
because I'm just going around
doing a little rules refresher,
a little crash course.
This can't be an email?
No, it's a meeting.
So, uh, you know what?
That leads me to my first
point, which is respect.
All right, so number one, respect.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
You guys know that one.
OK, number two is shift assignments
must be followed at all times.
That's very long.
So let's just remember it like this.
This will be fun.
S-A-M-B
S-A-M-B F
Let's just remember, shift assignments
must be followed at all times.
Yeah?
Number three
I just don't want
Joyce to make a decision
she's gonna regret.
She'll blow the legacy.
[SIGHS] I miss when those
TVs played "Big Bang Theory."
I don't think it should just
be one employee being honored.
OK, here we go. [LAUGHS]
Here comes Keith
"Everyone gets a trophy,"
um, Guy.
Hey, call me cheesy, but
at the end of the day,
what makes us strong is each other.
You know, we all share in
our wins and losses together.
We're all St. Denis.
Keith, if you want the
documentary to use you,
you have to say things
that are interesting.
OK, bud?
- Yeah.
- All right.
Come on.
[SIGHS]
OK, this looks bad,
but there is a whole backstory
that you're not getting
from this footage.
Well, I don't know what I
could possibly be missing.
Look, if you start watching
"Jaws" at the one-hour mark,
then all you see is three
guys picking on a shark.
What did that shark ever do to anyone?
In fact, a lot.
OK, this is not the kind of behavior
I expect from one of my all-stars.
You were on a very short list
to become my next featured employee.
OK, I don't know what that is.
Sereen-bean, it's up to
you whether or not you
want to file a report on Ron.
You know what?
It's all good.
We all have our psycho moments.
Rule number five is have fun.
Yeah, I think we can
all handle that one.
- OK?
- [SPEAKING TAGALOG]
[LAUGHTER]
Guys, do we need to revisit
rule number one, respect?
[SCOFFS]
[SPEAKING TAGALOG]
Looney Tunes.
[LAUGHTER]
Matt, did you understand that?
No.
New rule, number six
is no mocking people
in other languages. So number six
Wait, I'm sorry. [LAUGHS]
Are you saying we can't speak Tagalog?
No, I'm not saying that.
I'm saying that when you're
making fun of someone
or when you're talking about somebody,
like I know you guys are
talking about me, then,
- you know then English only.
- [SCOFFS]
Sorry. No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I didn't mean English only.
- I just
- Alex!
Alex, we would like our
Filipino brothers and sisters
to feel safe here
and to be able to speak Tagalog,
which is a gorgeous and snappy language.
Salamat.
Salamat you, too.
- [CHUCKLES]
- OK, I wasn't trying to offend anybody.
Yeah, but you did.
You split us up just to mess with us.
No, I didn't. I just
it was pointed out that certain
groups are grouped together,
and so in an effort to
cultivate more inclusivity,
I I just mixed things up a bit.
Mm, and did you ask this group
if we wanted to be mixed up?
No.
Because if you did,
we would have told you
we were just fine.
I know. I just
OK, so Matt was asking
about the Filipino mafia
Oh!
Alex, you cannot say those words.
My God.
No, that's the nickname
they gave themselves.
Uh, what?
Since when?
Rene, on behalf of St. Denis,
I truly apologize for Alex's behavior.
Alex, I am definitely gonna need you
to attend unconscious bias training.
Yep, OK.
And unfortunately, you are now
out of the running to
become our featured employee.
Hey, so I'm taking my
break now since your tirade
took over my entire lunch.
Is that OK with you?
You know, for what it's
worth, I was just trying to
- Go on a power trip?
- No.
But I did overstep,
and I and I should
have just talked to you first.
That's right. You should have.
Well, that is what I will
be doing because, trust me,
none of this is worth
the extra $3 an hour.
Wait, wait, I'm sorry.
That's how much you're
getting for being head nurse?
- Mm-hmm.
- That is not a lot.
Yes, I know.
So, what, your husband's rich?
No. He sells grass seed.
Grass? Who's buying grass?
Like schools, I think.
Sharice.
[SPEAKING TAGALOG]
[SPEAKING TAGALOG]
grass seed farmer.
I'm just telling them
what your husband does.
Yeah, no, I got that part.
There's just no word for it in
Tagalog because why would there be?
Right.
[SPEAKING TAGALOG]
- workaholic.
- Mm.
- financially struggling.
- Oh.
It just seems like you're saying really
specific words in English.
Tut-tut-tut, shh, shh, shh.
Uh, but yes, it is
it is really tough,
- especially in the winters.
- Oh, my God.
I mean, nobody's buying grass then.
I know.
You know what?
Sharice and I will go to Zone B.
Oh.
You have enough problems
to deal with, OK?
OK.
[SIGHS]
[SPEAKING TAGALOG]
Mm-hmm.
You said it.
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
Haven't landed on anyone yet, huh?
You know, I always knew Ron ran hot,
but Alex being a racist?
That one hurts.
Look, I wouldn't beat yourself up
about finding the one
right person, you know?
Well, you're the one that
put so much pressure on it.
I know. I know. [SIGHS]
I've just been thinking,
and call it cheesy,
but at the end of the day, I think what
makes us strong is each other.
We all share in our wins
and our losses together.
I guess you could say
we're all St. Denis.
Q2, baby!
[LAUGHS]
Ooh.
And I learned that on the surface,
it seems like a race thing,
but it's more about their
shared cultural experiences
Matt, maybe no more talking.
Oh, uh, for sure.
Hey. So,
sorry I was such a huge bitch earlier.
Here's a little peace
offering from me and the girls.
Oh, thanks.
Wow, that's
Oh. [CHUCKLES]
Canned goods.
Save it for the grassless winter.
OK.
Man, that guy is so nice
or [SPEAKS TAGALOG]
[CHUCKLES] Rene taught me that.
Also a bunch of swear
words, but don't worry
deleted.
You know, I'm still getting
used to being a boss,
but I am learning a few things,
like, you know,
maybe I should be less concerned
with how I'm perceived
and more concerned
with being a good communicator.
And don't fix what's not broken.
Good night, Alex.
Oh, good night, guys.
- [CHUCKLES]
- And don't listen to Matt.
That's really the main thing, I
think, is don't listen to Matt.
What the hell?
[HORN HONKS]
Oh, no.
Now you have three more
insane notes to write.
Bye!
You guys got a pen?
[BELL CLANGS]