Stone Quackers (2015) s01e04 Episode Script

My name: Officer Barry.
My beat: Cheeseburger Island A town made up of tourists, locals And who do we have here? Four troublemakers.
Whit and Clay, funny I watched four hours of security-camera footage where you repeatedly stole cans of black spray paint.
Yes, can you all knock that off? All right, thanks, boys.
Oh, and I'm just gonna assume, on a related topic, that the graffiti around town that's written in black spray paint, that says, "welcome to hell [bleep.]
s," that that is also you.
So let's go ahead and stop doing that too.
All right? 10-4, duders.
Officer Barry in route.
Good afternoon, Dottie.
Gorgeous day Hey, a car! Whoa, look, they left the keys in it.
Looks like Barf's got a big new car.
Dude, it's not a car.
It's a tractor.
Helps me move without my legs, don't it? I'ma turn this thing on.
Dude, you can't do that, man! You're not gonna be able to turn it off.
It's not like a car! Uh, Clay, when you turn the key one way, it turns the car on, then when you turn it backwards, it turns the car off.
Yeah, I know how a car works, man, but this is a tractor! I've done this before.
It's really hard to turn it off.
Ooh, this car's about to get turned on.
All right, time to do this.
- Barf! - # Turning on the big car # - Stop saying the word car! - # turning on the big car.
# Big boy with a big car.
Vroom, vroom, vroom.
Turn it on, turn it off.
In and out, boom.
All right, this is not fun.
- Turning off.
- Barf, please listen to me! You're not gonna be able to turn it off! Clay! This car's not like other cars, Clay! It's permanently on! Ooh, oh, man.
You're not gonna believe this, but you really just can't turn the thing off.
It just keeps going.
But, you know, it'll it'll work itself out.
It's not gonna go in the canal or anything.
Barf: It's moving, but slowly.
And it'll run out of steam.
It'll steam out.
Barf: It's definitely not going in that canal.
No, it'll stop.
That little lip of concrete it's not gonna make it over that.
I mean There's no way it's gonna go in the canal.
You were right, Clay.
Can't turn that thing off like a regular car.
Thing went pretty much right into the canal.
Hey, Whit, look.
I got our whole night planned out for us.
First, we're gonna watch these five skate videos, then I have an amazing recipe for a loaf of bread I think you're gonna love.
Hey, Clay, you remember Celeste and Maisy? What? Those girls from high school? Yeah, well, they think I'm cute, and said I should come over to their party.
So why don't we go to their party? Dude, no.
This is the night that we watch skate videos and eat bread.
Yeah, we should do that after the party.
Dude, I don't want to go party with a bunch of boneheads from our high school.
- Just just go without me, man.
- Okay.
I can't bail on my best bud.
Actually, look, man.
Here's the thing, okay? Me alone, sure, I'm cute.
But me with you, I am super cute.
- You catch my drift? - Yes.
Can I at least bring my skateboard? Wh uh wh uh uh yeah, what was I even thinking, man? Celeste has a thing for skateboarders, all right.
I should have told you that in the beginning.
Let's just go over there right now and show 'em some tricks.
Hey, dude, look.
It looks like I'm surfing.
- Ah-tuk-ah tuk-ah tuk-ah - Hey, guys! - Where are you going? - Hey, Barf, uh, yeah.
We're just going to some stupid party.
Wait, why didn't you tell me about this party? I don't know, it's - It's 'cause you hate me.
- No, pal, we don't hate you.
Well, if you leave me alone tonight, I'm just gonna go home and binge eat, and then die 'cause of loneliness.
- And that's on you.
- No, no, no, Barf.
You can come.
Okay, you just you got to play it cool, all right? - Will you promise? - Yes, I do.
Money! Let's go.
Whit, I'm so glad you could make it.
Hey, Celeste.
Ho, ho, wow.
You know, I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
- Actually - Oh! Who invited these loseeeers?! What's up, Celeste? - Mwah, mwah, mwah.
- Jimmy, eww! See you! What? Jimmy Z's here? I hate him.
He's the worst.
Come on, man.
Give it a chance.
Hey, everybody, Whit's here with his, like, friends.
He's an amazing skateboarder.
He's gonna show us some tricks.
See, man? I told you.
This is gonna be awesome.
Hey, look at this.
Can you believe they got this big-ass fire pit, - and no one's lit it yet? - Uh, I don't think that's a fire pit.
S'up? Cool.
See, man? They love you.
- Yeah, really? - Yeah, really! And I bet if you showed those girls your fake board-smash routine, - one of them will definitely kiss you.
- Uh, okay.
Hey, everyone, I'm gonna jump off this and land on my board and break it in half.
No, that'll break the skateboard! That's right.
Ha! Tricked y'all.
Yeah, that was really cool.
- I want to try.
I want to try.
- Sure, okay, Jimmy.
Okay, this is what you're gonna do.
You put the board right here.
Here, I'll show you how to do it.
Hey, everybody, let's take this party to the roof! Clay, wait! Oh, geesh.
This is all my fault.
- I'm sorry.
- Dude, man.
I knew this party was a bad idea.
Man, Jimmy is a real butthole.
- You're totally right about that.
- Okay, dude, I know you're - trying to cheer me up, but - Get out the damn road! Wait, is that Whit and Clay? What's up, dudes? Why y'all walking? Oh, hey, Josh.
Yeah, man, uh, we were just leaving this party - wasn't so chill.
- No good? - Not a lot of babes, huh? - No, it's just this kid Jimmy Z.
- He stomped my skateboard and - What? Jimmy?! Jimmy Z's up the road?! Jimmy threw a rock at my friend's car last week.
I told him never to show his face again in this town.
Parker, get the Wranglers together! Jimmy dies tonight! Thanks for the tip, braughs.
Well, looks like they're gonna kill Jimmy.
No, no, no, no, no, no! Dude, why did you get me into this mess? Uh, I got an idea.
Why don't we go home and eat some bread? I'm gonna feel really guilty if Jimmy dies because of some stupid thing I said.
- Yeah, I don't know.
- Well, you know what? We got to go back and save him! I'm gonna go with or without you.
I kind of prefer that you would come with me, but you don't have to, but it would be great if you would come with me.
And then again, you don't have to.
But if you came with me, that'd be great.
Keep that in mind when you're debating about doing this or not.
All right.
We'll go save Jimmy then, I guess.
Look, there they are.
Wrangler: Yeah, get some, bitch! Oh my god, they're spitting on him.
It's even worse than we thought.
Dude, I'm gonna puke.
Uh! Okay, what should we do? Wait, shh.
What was that? Sorry, that was that was us, Josh.
What are you two doing here? Okay, even though Jimmy broke my skateboard and ruined my night, we were thinking maybe you shouldn't be spitting on him.
Oh, really?! Well, for spying on us, we're gonna spit on you too now! Arrgh! Nobody spies on Josh and the Wrangler boys.
Yeah! Oh no, my life is ruined.
Clay, this means I'll never be cool.
- Oh - Hey, wait, guys.
Guys, do you smell something? Hey, is your jeep okay? Is your jeep okay? You tell me.
- It smells like burning or something.
- The house is on fire! I'm on fire! The fire pit exploded! Everyone's dead, probably! Run! The fire's everywhere! Run! Run! Run! Overall, that was a good party.