Sweetbitter (2018) s01e04 Episode Script

1 WILL: Previously on Sweetbitter - What do you taste? - How do you know all of this? ARI: Be nice to Will, okay? He's sweet.
[PERCUSSIVE MUSIC.]
She wants us to go home.
Back to the Cape.
I hate the Cape.
I I have some wine books if you'd like to borrow them.
So, your day off tomorrow.
Let's go see a movie or something, like real humans.
Sorry, it's not right.
I'm used to being alone.
Me too.
[LOUNGE MUSIC.]
This must be a special night.
Ooh, you two are so beautiful.
[SNORTS.]
SASHA: I might spit in your food.
Hello there.
So, I am thinking a '95 Haut-Brion? Good.
All right, I'll leave you two alone.
Hmm.
This is what you wanted? Yes.
[MOANING.]
[PANTING.]
[CAR HORN HONKS.]
Oh.
[SOLEMN MUSIC.]
[GRUNTS.]
Okay.
Hey! Oh, my God.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, my God.
Hi.
Mom, you remember Of course.
Wait Soccer or softball? BOTH: Soccer.
[LAUGHTER.]
How crazy that we're both here.
We just came for the weekend.
We came to sightsee.
We saw Drowsy Chaperone.
- Wow.
- What're you doing here? Um, I live here.
- Really? - Uh, yeah.
Wow, who'd you move here with? Just me.
You moved here by yourself? Oh, my God.
I could never do that.
No, she couldn't.
You your mother clearly didn't baby you.
- JODI: Mom.
- LESLIE: What? Uh, it was her dad.
Her dad raised her.
LESLIE: Oh.
Well, he raised a very independent girl.
Are you going in? Yes, why don't you join us? Um, I just, uh, I-I can't.
I'm meeting a friend for lunch now, so It's my day off.
Well, what a shame.
It's so nice to see you all grown up.
- TESS: Have fun.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- Bye.
- Bye-bye.
LESLIE: That was a nice surprise.
JODI: Well, I didn't know her that well.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER, LAUGHTER.]
Have you decided on what you'd like? Uh, yeah, could I Do you happen to have a merlot from France? Sorry, our merlot's from California.
Would you like to try it? Uh, yeah, sure.
Thanks.
- [PHONE RINGING.]
- MAN: Thanks, Josh.
- [GASPS.]
- [LAUGHTER.]
- Isn't it? Good.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- Told you you'd like it.
[CHILD LAUGHING.]
Oh, thanks.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Hi.
Sorry, I was in the neighborhood, and I remembered the wine books that you offered me, so I just thought you - I should've called first.
- It's fine.
Come in.
- [JAZZ MUSIC.]
- Really.
Come in.
[SIGHS.]
Now you know my secret.
I'm a slob.
Are you sure it's okay that I'm here? It's fine.
[GLASSES CLINK.]
SIMONE: Hey, are you hungry? Grilled cheese? TESS: Uh, yeah.
I'm starving.
- Good.
- Thanks.
Wow, this is, uh My friend Maureen painted that.
What about this? It's beautiful.
SIMONE: Flea market.
I had no idea my home was so fascinating.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, my God, this isn't real.
SIMONE: [LAUGHS.]
Yeah.
SIMONE: Yeah, every year my, uh my landlord begs me to let him rip it out, and put in a proper bathroom, but No, I mean, you you can't, ever.
- It's just - [LAUGHS.]
Exactly.
Yeah, I, uh I laid eyes on this tub oof 16 years ago.
And I just, uh I immediately saw my life.
What do you mean? Well, I I was gonna take gigantic bubble baths, while reading Barthes, and I would drink in it, and fuck in it, and hold court in it, and become a regular at the best neighborhood restaurant.
And I would eventually get a job, uh, that gave me the whole city.
All 'cause of this bathtub.
I had to live a life worthy of it.
[EXHALES.]
And then this showerhead monstrosity.
Jake put it up for me years ago.
It has never once stopped leaking.
Feel free to kick me out.
You are too much.
- [LAUGHS.]
- [PHONE RINGS.]
Let's make lunch.
[PHONE THUDS ON RECEIVER.]
It was the wrong number.
Um, excuse me for a minute.
I think I'll get changed.
Thin slices would be best.
Oh, dear, I gotta give you a better knife.
You won't cut yourself if the knife is sharp.
[SNORTS.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Hmm.
Your mother never made you help? That's how it started for me.
French toast.
Uh, we ate a lot of food you just added water to.
Would you get the champagne out of the refrigerator? Sure.
[GASPS.]
Very good, and a couple of glasses.
[CORK POPS.]
[LAUGHS.]
To taste? No, um, with sparkling, you can condition the glasses so that when you pour you don't lose any of the carbonation, [CHUCKLES.]
which is kind of the whole point, don't you think? Wow.
It's the wine of kings.
[CHUCKLING.]
Mm.
You ever had real champagne before? No.
[CHUCKLES.]
What's the difference? Champagne is a place, actually, in Northern France, with a very specific terroir.
Terroir.
Good, terroir.
[CHUCKLES.]
Uh, the literal translation is "earth.
" Or "the ground.
" Everything that is born into this world comes through its very own particular climate, and soil, and time of year.
And the idea with wine is that you can You can taste the terroir.
Champagne is a tricky one.
Um, it's been mass-produced and corrupted.
Yet Its essence is unmistakable.
[CHUCKLES.]
Once heard someone describe champagne as a sword wrapped in whipped cream.
Sounds pretentious, doesn't it? I know it grates on everybody at the restaurant.
No, it no, it doesn't.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- Yeah.
You couldn't even say that.
[LAUGHS.]
Okay, maybe a little.
But it's only because you're better at everything than everyone, and if you were gone they wouldn't know what to do.
They managed.
Uh, when I lived in France.
You lived in France? Mm-hmm.
In Champagne, actually.
That's so weird.
Weird? I don't know, I just I can't even imagine you anywhere but the restaurant.
[UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC.]
Mmm.
Mmm! So what're you doing with the rest of your day? I have to pack.
You're going to the Cape, right? Did he mention that? Yeah.
[CHUCKLES.]
Uh, I could help you pack.
- Okay.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- Mm-hmm.
- To cheese.
[LAUGHTER.]
TESS: Is the Cape beautiful? Yes, it is, but we're not going for a vacation.
We're selling our house.
We have to clean it out.
Don't you guys live next door to each other? We did, but, um, he moved in with us after his mother died.
His mom died? Yes.
How old was he? He was eight.
And he moved in with my family and I ended up taking care of him.
[PIANO MUSIC.]
So you're like a second mom to him? Something like that.
Now he's being a brat about going away for one day.
Well, it makes sense.
Uh, after what happened there.
TESS: His mother dying.
Well, it's one day.
I don't think it's too much to ask.
[SIGHS.]
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Huh.
I have no idea.
Oh, I oh.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
TESS: Oh! [CHUCKLES.]
Oh, my God.
I mean [GASPS.]
Uh! Aren't you gonna see who sent them? I know.
They're from a man who thinks he can have everything he wants.
Well, do you want me to get rid of them? Mm-hmm.
[GIGGLES.]
- [GUFFAWS.]
- Gone.
- More? - Yeah.
[LAUGHTER.]
Here.
- Ah! - [LAUGHTER.]
[GRUNTS.]
Ah.
Ah, phew.
[CLANKING DISHES.]
I'll clean this up later.
- [BREATHING HEAVILY.]
- [DISHES CLANK.]
Can I get in? Sure.
[BATHTUB CLANGS.]
[SIGHS.]
Now I'm never gonna leave.
[GIGGLES.]
I ran into some people from home today.
Two people who think I'm crazy for coming here alone.
Well, it's not the usual choice.
It's not a mistake, is it? Coming here? No.
No.
New York is never a mistake.
Jake, however, is.
Some men like to pretend that they are damaged and dangerous for the effect, but some men actually are.
And they won't just be a cool story for later.
[PENSIVE MUSIC.]
Yeah, it won't matter, will it? I mean, I guess it never does.
I don't have a mother.
I know.
SIMONE: I don't think we need to go over this again.
I'll call you back, my love.
Did you have a nice sleep? Um [CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
I guess so.
What time is it? 6:00.
I guess I was comfortable.
You look beautiful.
[CHUCKLES.]
Is it for flower man? Uh, well, thanks for the grilled cheese.
And the champagne.
My pleasure.
Any time.
Really? Yes, of course.
Uh, okay, um, have a good trip.
I'll see you when you're back.
Oh, the books.
Thanks.
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC.]
Ugh.
[PULSING HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING OUTSIDE.]
- MAN: [SHOUTING.]
- WOMAN: [LAUGHING.]
[CARS ZOOMING.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[SOMBER MUSIC.]
Thank you, gentlemen.
It's amazing how much we waste here.
Isn't it your day off? Yep.
Yes, it is.
- [OVERLAPPING CHATTER.]
- Fucking starving! Oh, look, baby monster lurking in the shadows.
I I was just with some friends nearby.
Liar.
You guys going to Home Bar? We're gonna eat.
My choice, my place.
Sichuan.
- Wanna come? - What? - SCOTT: Best fucking food in New York.
- HEATHER: Yeah, come.
Good night, guys.
- SCOTT: You're not coming? - Nah, bushed.
- Oh, yeah, you are.
- Have fun.
Uh, later, I I'll see you 'Ey, hey, hey, don't hit the trash can, and don't be a pussy, okay? You hungry? Yeah, I am.
I'm starving, actually.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Good night, Howard.
'Night, Howard.
- TESS: How was work? - HEATHER: Good night, Howard.
Good night.
[SQUEALS, CHUCKLES.]
- [ROCK MUSIC.]
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
How do you guys do this? I cannot feel my face.
- That's so fucking hot.
- So hot, so spicy.
HEATHER: My face is gonna fall the fuck off.
I don't know how to use these.
ARI: Someone teach her how to use chopsticks please.
- Ugh.
- Oh, my God.
HEATHER: That is so dramatic.
- It's tripe, try it.
- TESS: Tripe? Yeah, try it.
So damn good.
- I need more rice.
- Spicy food boosts metabolism.
- Ooh, 'scuse me.
- You're welcome.
- Baby.
- [LAUGHTER.]
SCOTT: Chinese food, man you think I make this shit at home? Just because I'm Asian? Fuck that.
[LAUGHTER.]
- SASHA: Look who showed up.
- Oh, no.
- SASHA: Didn't know you were coming.
- ARI: You're welcome.
SASHA: So, what up? Let's order more.
Fuck, what're we waiting for? Comes in late, eats all the food, doesn't leave a fucking dime.
Fuck you, pass the eggplant.
All right, so last meal.
SCOTT: What would it be? Ooh, salmon pastrami from Russ and Daughters, and, like, three bagels at least.
Shackburger and a fucking milkshake, I don't know.
One thousand hot dogs.
My Nonna's bolognese.
It takes 8 hours to make.
Amazing! Omakase.
34 courses.
Yesuda does it himself.
- Oysters.
- And? Toast.
Toast is the fucking best.
Thank you.
- Good job, baby monster.
- SCOTT: That's my shit.
TESS: I can't eat any more.
This is kind of disgusting.
SCOTT: Why is there's all these spoons here? Can I bum one of those? ["OBSTACLE 1" BY INTERPOL.]
- SASHA: Good job, baby monster.
- HEATHER: That's it, girl.
Nothing else will change But she can read, she can read She can read, she's bad Thank you.
[LAUGHTER.]
ARI: Oh, no, we've never seen him this animated.
HEATHER: It's horrifying.
ARI: Is this what happens when we feed you, like - SASHA: Eggplant.
- SCOTT: Tripe! Tripe.
SASHA: Eat your fucking tripe.
I had another sex dream about Howard last night.
ARI: Dreams are boring.
You know you'll never fuck Howard, yes? Oh, why not? His wife died like three years ago.
- It's time to move on.
- Jesus.
SCOTT: Oh, wait, wait, wait, I got one of those too right here.
Oh, my God, it's b SCOTT: Juicy, right? They're fucking like pepperonis.
- HEATHER: This is so real.
- ARI: This is not an appropriate dinnertime topic.
Hey, let's let's order something good.
- What the fuck - Bok choy, bok choy.
Yeah.
SCOTT: [LAUGHS.]
Are you fucking kidding me? No, no, baby.
Cheers.
- To Howard's dick.
- HEATHER: To Howard's dick.
To Howard's dick.
Take one.
So what did you do today on your day off? I, uh, went for a walk.
- Oh, yeah? - Mm-hmm.
I went to the Met.
Mm-hmm? Jesus Christ, you guys tell each other everything? - Yes.
- Right.
So you two have a nice time? Yeah, we did.
Saw what a shitty plumber you are.
[CHUCKLES.]
You going home tomorrow? I don't know.
I don't fucking want to, but she doesn't give up.
Wanna know what I think? Desperately.
I think that Home is the past.
Who wants to visit the past? You're right.
I am? Yeah.
[GASPING.]
Tomorrow night.
Yeah? Ari has a show.
Let's blow it off.
Get some food.
SASHA: [GROANING.]
Oh, my God.
So full.
- I'm gonna throw up.
- Hello.
- Hey.
- Where'd Jake go? I don't know.
I'm never eating another meal in my life.
Baby monster, you owe me $15 for bill.
Thank you.
Of course, fucking Jake left without leaving us any money.
[GIGGLING.]
Too late.
Buy me a hundred drink instead.
- Guys, let's go.
ARI: Fuck you, Baby Chef.
We're not in the kitchen anymore.
Home Bar.
Are you gonna come? Yeah.
Keep up.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]