The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius (2002) s01e04 Episode Script

1
Gotta Blast!
From here to the stars
for my candy bars ♪
Rides a kid with a knack
for invention ♪
( gasps )
With super-powered mind,
a mechanical canine ♪
( barks )
He rescues the day
from sure destruction ♪
Help!
This is the theme song ♪
( screams )
For Jimmy Neutron. ♪
( mechanical whirring )
( barking )
( yells )
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and MTV TELEVISION NETWORKS
Oh, no you don't,
Mr. Muscles.
If you hurt your back
lifting those
you'll be no use
to me tonight
on our third
honeymoon
when I want all the furniture
in the hotel room rearranged.
Don't couples usually
go on second honeymoons?
We had one of those
but thanks to a certain
young genius
and his "Forgeto-blaster"
it was wiped
out of our brains.
Oh, yeah.
Along with the entire
fifth year of our marriage.
I do so wish I could
remember that year.
Do you think I had pie?
All right, Jimbo,
now listen.
We're going to be staying
at the Wild Animal Land
in the Dead Zebra Carcass
suite.
Don't tell your mother.
It's going to be a big surprise.
Oh, and Jimmy
Granny Neutron's
coming over while we're gone.
Aw, Mom.
Don't you remember my theorem
proving mathematically, I don't
need anyone to watch me?
No, Jim-Jam, she's
not watching you.
You're watching her.
Besides, you can keep
each other company.
Now, remember, we're counting
on you to watch out for her.
And don't conduct any more
experiments on her, Jimbo.
At her age, the last thing
you want is excitement.
( tires screeching )
Told you I could get here from
the airport in under 50 cents.
( laughs )
Mom!
Oh, Mother Neutron.
Hi, Granny.
Jimmy, you tote my clothes.
Hugh
you carry my pills,
syrups, salves
serums, girdles,
ointments
medical devices
Trade you.
and miscellaneous
supports.
MOM:
Hugh, darling
Do you think Jimmy
will be able to take care
of Granny all right?
I wouldn't worry
about that, sugar.
I'm sure she can keep
Jimmy entertained
with one of her
exciting stories.
( tires screeching )
And by the time they cleaned out
both of my ears
there was enough wax piled up
to open a candle shop.
And then
they found this
hair in my ear
that they think might
go right through to my foot.
( grunting )
Age is a cruel,
cruel thing, Goddard.
In a short 65 years
you completely lose
your ability to tell
when people want you
to stop talking.
And forget Preparation H.
I've made it all the way
to Preparation X.
( laughs )
Wait a second.
If I made her young again,
I'd bet she'd stop complaining.
But I promised Mom and Dad
I wouldn't experiment on Granny
especially after that time
I made her magnetic.
( chuckles )
Bye-bye.
I had a wonderful time
She's awfully old.
Hope this is enough.
( straining )
Good morning.
I was just telling you
over there
about my deviated spatum.
On cold mornings
it rattles like the tin man
throwing up a hoagie
full of wood screws.
What's in the bottle?
Tongue defurrer.
Your tongue
gets furry when you're old.
Sometimes I wake up
and the cat's chewing on it.
Oh, let me open that for you.
I think you'll feel
much better and quieter
after you drink this.
Mm, hmm.
Tastes funny.
Of course,
what do I know?
After 60, your sense of
taste completely disa
Granny?
Goo-goo-ga-gee.
Uh-oh.
Granny?
I feel great.
Did I just take
my morphine?
Uh, uh
No, Granny, you're, uh
well, you're sort of a
baby.
Holy fiber caps,
I'm topless!
Oh, man, this isn't good.
Where'd you get the diaper?
I was already
wearing it.
( breaks wind )
Ooh
I need my diadey changed.
Problem.
Goddard, change diaper.
( hacks )
Change me now.
( cries )
( breaks wind )
Who can change a diaper?
I don't know any nurses.
Oh, no way.
I love and respect Mom
far too much
to let her know
I disobeyed her.
Huh-uh, no way, I will never,
ever ask Cindy for a favor.
( breaks wind )
Clean my poopie.
Okay, let's go ask Cindy
for a favor, shall we?
So, how much have we
collected so far, Libby?
I'm starving.
We're $1.23 away from
just enough to split
an enchillaburitto
from Taco Horn.
( muffled shouting )
Look at this!
This must be
a discontinued Ultra Lord
double-barreled slingshot.
Uh sure.
Ten bucks.
Uh all right, deal.
Uh, I don't know,
Sheen.
If that's what it is,
then my mom has a lot
of Ultra Lord double-
barreled slingshots.
Do you have any other
Ultra Lord collectibles?
No.
Pay and leave.
Any Ultra Lord videos?
No.
DVDs?
No.
CD-ROMs?
No.
TV episodes
No!
What about the
discolored pajamas
you get at the swap meet?
No!
Do I look like
the kind of pathetic
self-diluted dweeb case
who'd have any
Ultra Lord anything?
No.
You look more like
a regular kind
of pathetic self-diluted
dweeb case.
( laughing )
BOYS:
Hey, Jimmy.
What's up, Jim?
What are you doing here?
Fine, thank you.
So, say great stuff.
Um, I was wondering
where your mom is?
Why?
Well, uh,
well, here's the thing.
I, uh, need some help,
with, uh this.
BOTH:
Aw.
( giggling )
( sniffing )
BOTH:
Ew.
Yeah, see, I think
she might need changing.
What was
your first clue?
So you'll do it?
As much as I detest helping
smug, pseudo-brainiacs
my nurturing female instincts
will not let me
leave a helpless infant
in your care.
Where's the new diaper?
New diaper?
What's wrong with
what she's wearing?
It's full of poo!
I thought you were
a genius.
Hey, he's a guy.
( laughs )
( gasping )
She-she talked.
Well, now that we got past that
I've got
a rash brewing down here
that would make a red-hot
chili pepper look pale.
JIMMY:
Cindy, Libby,
um
Granny Neutron.
You turned your own
grandmother into a baby?
I have a loophole.
I mean, an explanation.
This could have happened
to anyone with a genius IQ
and access
to unstable chemicals.
Could we hurry up?
I'm getting dizzy
from my own fumes here.
Ooh
dolly.
How long is she going
to be a baby?
Well, I'm not sure exactly
but I've got to change her back
before Mom and Dad get home.
Well, how many diapers
do we need?
( breaking wind )
Well, I'd err on
the side of hundreds.
So, great,
here's some money
and a list of things
I need for the antidote.
I'll see you when you get
back from the store. Thanks.
Whoa, no you don't.
Libby, you run the yard sale
while Dr. Spock and I
go to the shop.
( nasally ):
That's fine by me.
( crashing )
I'm bored.
Make a funny face
and let me hit you
with my rattle.
No.
( crying )
Okay, okay.
Bleh.
( banging )
It's fun hitting you.
( laughs )
Granny, Granny, quiet.
Did that baby
just talk?
No, ha, ha.
Everyone knows
babies can't talk.
That's right,
'cause if we could
the Video Tubbies
would be canceled so quick
it would make
their head aerials spin.
( laughs )
( gasping )
Luckily I've got 36 hours
to make the antidote
before my parents
return.
Hello?
Honey, it's Mom.
We're coming home.
No!
I mean, oh, great.
I mean, oh, why?
Well, your father
accidentally disturbed a nest
and had a run-in
with a mother eagle.
How's Granny?
Oh, she's great.
Yeah, you wouldn't
even recognize her.
Oh, well, I'm very proud of you,
Jimmy.
We'll see you and Granny soon.
Bye-bye.
Wait, wait
Really,
I wasn't trying
to harm your
little eaglets
Stop talking to it, Hugh.
I think it calms her.
Try moving your finger
like a worm.
No.
We want the talking baby!
We want the talking baby!
Goddard
compare antidote completion
with mother's return time-- go.
Oh, Mom and Dad!
Oh, come on.
Think, think, think.
Brain blast!
Okay, as soon as
that turns blue
pour it in a baby bottle
and bring it outside.
Come on, Granny.
Ladies and gentleman
I give you
the amazing, talking baby!
( crowd "oohs" )
Hey, give me a cuddle.
And a diaper change
while you're at it.
( laughs )
Hey, hey, there's a string
in her back.
Oh, no, I have been found out.
Yes, you have, son.
Whew.
Here.
Anything else you'd like?
Your slippers
and a pipe, maybe?
Hello, honey.
How was everything?
Oh, hi, Mom.
Nothing unusual here.
Just me and Granny
obeying all your rules.
Yes, ma'am, that's
what we're doing.
Hey, Mr. Neutron.
That shirt's cool.
And so's that big bird
on your head.
It's actually
an eagle, Sheen.
It considers me
a hostile predator.
Ooh, does that hurt?
Yes. Very much.
Well, I'd love to stay
and help you
narrowly avoid
even more consequences
of your stupid actions
but it looks
like Libby and I
have a date with
some enchillaburittos.
It's nice
to have you back, Granny.
So nice to be back,
Jimmy.
( laughs )
Hey, Jim,
I'm really thirsty.
Does your mom have
any lemonade?
Drink this.
No!
Carl?
You okay?
Well, my eyes hurt,
my hair's gone
and I have a powerful
urge to dance badly.
I'll take
a piece of that.
( music plays )
Oh, great.
Oh, yes.
( barking )
And that concludes
the first tenth
of our very long discussion
of the electromagnetic balance
in the left hemisphere
of the brain.
Oh.
Who would have thought
the frontal lobe
would have had
that much influence
over the corpus
callosum, huh?
Not me.
Me, neither.
Hey, Jimmy, you think
you could come up
with an adventure?
You know,
like changing the channel?
You know, I don't know.
Maybe, like, um,
I don't know.
A remote control.
Yeah, Jim.
Like, this is informative
and all
but I think I'd rather
be covered in bees.
And I'm allergic.
Well, it wasn't all
painfully horrible, Jimmy.
I like the part
about the medulla oblongata.
I don't know what it means,
but I love the way it sounds.
Back, or I will slay thee
with my medulla oblongata.
What do you guys want to watch?
Ultra Lord.
Yeah, I'm pretty much good
with anything that's not this.
All right.
Don't touch that dial.
What would you say
if I told you
you could harness all
the information in the universe?
All of it?
That's right.
You can possess infinite
knowledge.
And it's all right here
in the new 1,000-volume set
of The Encyclopedia
of Infinite Knowledge.
What ancient civilization built
an entire royal palace
from shredded wheat?
What species of owl
can be milked like a cow?
Where is Waldo?
That's right.
1,000 volumes.
Just order now,
and you'll receive a new volume
every week for 19.23 years.
The Encyclopedia
of Infinite Knowledge.
Order now or you're an idiot.
Wow!
Did you guys
see that?!
There's never been an
encyclopedia like that.
Ever.
I've got
to have it.
That's so crazy.
Because I so don't want it.
Well, sorry, guys.
I got to go
talk to my
mom right now.
Hi. I'm calling
about the encyclopedia.
Yes.
And how much is the set?
Oh.
My.
Uh, well, thank you anyway.
Well, Jimmy, your mother
sort of keeps track
of the finances, and I
don't.
Dad, they're
educational.
Encyclopedias are
an investment.
Yeah, but they make my brain
twitch.
Now, what you want to do, Jimmy,
is be thankful
for the things you already have.
Look, we all want things.
Would I like to have
a six-foot duck sculpture
with a year's supply
of free pie?
You bet you, I would.
( sighs )
Uh, we don't have the kind
of money.
I wish we were rich.
Oh, well, there was a time, Jim,
when that almost a reality.
You know, years ago,
I almost invested
in McSpanky's Burger Factory.
McSpanky's?
Really?
Sure.
15 years ago, I picked up
a scruffy-looking McSpanky
on the side of the road.
He didn't have a penny
to his name.
Told me all about
this grand scheme he had
to assembly-line hard, little
tasteless burger patties
to the masses
disguising them
with inexpensive condiments
and yummy buns.
He offered me a full partnership
for $50 of startup money
and a back rub.
And you didn't do it?
Well, Jimmy
I almost did it.
( sighs )
But then decided
to use that money for a more
important reason.
Man has to have his priorities.
( grunts )
I need money
is what I need.
JIMMY:
Uh, gee, Goddard.
It's not fair.
I wish
I could go back in time
and convince him
to invest in
That's it.
If we go back in time
I can convince Dad
to invest in McSpanky's
and then, we'll have all
the money we'll ever need.
Gentlemen, I give you
the time booth.
Just punch
in the time
and visit the period
of your choosing.
Go on.
Step inside.
Um, has this thing
been tested
by an independent
laboratory?
Uh, who cares, Carl?
Where we going, Jimmy?
Okay. My Dad said
he met Hank McSpanky
15 years ago
so, I'll just set this
to 15 years in the past
and we'll just
Hold the phone.
You mean, McSpanky
Burger Factory McSpanky?
Uh, that's my favorite place
in the whole wide world.
Okay. Enough, you guys.
We're ready
for the maiden voyage.
Maiden voyage?
Maiden voyage?
You're bringing a girl with us?
( electrical zapping )
Wow!
The past is so dark.
It's spooky.
No, guys.
The lab used to
be a basement.
We did it.
We went back
15 years in time.
( disco music plays )
DAD:
Yeah.
I just love those three guys
with the high-pitched
female-type voices.
( singing in high-pitched
voice )
Like to eat pie ♪
Check out the new
moves, Sugar Booger.
I call it The
Monkey Grind.
( grunting )
Oh, Hugh.
You are so groovy.
Grind that monkey.
I'm grinding the chimp, too.
Jimmy, can we please
go back to the present?
The past is
kind of dorky.
N-not yet, Carl.
I-I've got to convince Dad
to invest with McSpanky.
MOM:
Ooh.
( humming )
Mom, Dad.
( gasps )
Hey, you cats don't live here
do you?
How did you
get in here?
Of course they don't know me.
We don't exist yet.
Would you let
me handle this?
We come from
the future.
( laughs )
You know what he means?
The door.
The door was open,
so we just, uh, uh
Came inside?
Yeah. Your crib.
Uh, I'm Jimmy,
and these are my friends--
Carl and Sheen.
Hi.
Glad to birada nicto.
Jimmy.
Uh, I love that name.
( laughs )
Oh, that's quite a wild-sized
noggin you got going there, son.
You're like a mod
buffalo-headed boy.
Now, look, I'm all for freedom,
Buffalo Boy, but you guys
You can't just go busting in
to a cool cat's bachelor pad.
Bachelor pad?
You mean you two
aren't married yet?
Marriage is
for the older scene, man.
Besides, Judy Cakes only lives
five minutes from here
and Hugh Doggy Dog's
a free spirit.
We let love rule.
The wind is our minister,
and true love is our chapel.
Ah!
Oh, Hughie.
Ooh. Make it stop,
Jimmy. I
You seem familiar
somehow, Buffalo Boy.
Are you one of
Hughby Dooby's
neighbors?
Hughby Dooby. We live
down the street, and, um
Listen, can I talk to you
for a minute in private?
Okay, listen
I know we just
met and all
but you have
to trust me
on this one.
Now, when you
meet a man named
Hank McSpanky
Oh, you mean the smelly hobo
with the funny eye.
You know him?
Yeah, I just gave him a ride
the other day.
McSpanky's got some wacky
burger scheme
that he wants me
to invest my last $50 in, but
Hey, hey. Do it.
What?
Invest.
Invest in McSpanky's
Burger Factory.
I did consider it
but there's something
very special
I'm planning
on using that money for.
A man has to have his priority.
Listen, listen, Dad.
Uh, Hugh.
Um Hughby Dooby Do.
Hey!
Only the chicks
can call me that.
Sorry.
You've got
to invest.
McSpanky's Burger
Factory is going
to be huge, and
you'll be rich.
Oh, oh.
And when you're older
and have a son
make sure you get him
the 1,000-volume set
of The Encyclopedia
of Infinite Knowledge.
I got to go.
( electrical zapping )
Ha-ha, we're back.
Yeah, but-but everything looks
the same.
Well maybe he didn't
take my advice.
Come on.
CARL:
Uh, Jimmy.
I think he took your advice.
( Jimmy laughs )
We're rich.
We're really rich.
We're rich.
Uh, Carl, Jimmy's
rich, not us.
Okay.
DAD:
It's the principal
of the thing.
MOM:
I know.
Um, Mom, Dad
I don't care if
he is my dad.
Life-saving
operations
are expensive.
I mean, it's
my money, after all.
If I give him some,
I have less.
Ow! Be careful.
That's my
credit card hand.
Mom, Dad!
What?
Yeah, what?
Well, uh
how are you guys?
He's still
got two lungs.
Since I couldn't make up my mind
Say it to him,
for God's sake.
I just said
Hey, hey, hey, come on,
I'm your son, and, well
Point?
Huh?
Tick-tock, tick-tock.
Oops! Looks like you just wasted
another chunk of my life.
Thanks a lot, Jerry.
It's Gary.
It's Jimmy.
Whatever. We don't have time
for this kind of
talking thing you want to do.
And what are
they doing here?
The big one is odd
and the thin one
is a weirdo.
Hey, you can't insult us
like that.
Here you go.
Get yourself
something nice.
Sure they can.
Let's go,
odd guy.
You got it, weirdo.
Oh, and here's
some for you, too.
Bye-bye, now.
What do I do with this?
Oh, for heaven's sake!
Hilgo.
Hilgo?
MOM:
Hilgo, could
you take Jimmy
up to his room?
He's being all
sonish again.
Da.
Ooh, and get that contraption
out of here.
You know I don't like it
in the house.
Da.
( whirring )
Oh. What happened,
Goddard?
I thought being rich
would be great.
Mom and Dad are
Well, they're
not Mom and Dad.
Come on, Goddard.
Let's get Dad's 50 bucks back.
( electrical zapping and
whirring )
What do you
think, Jimalimb?
That's just about
the greatest thing
I've ever seen.
It's a Montana
Wormsnuffer.
Well, look here.
My favorite men.
Jimmy, your father
and I had a talk
and we've decided
that as long
as it's for your education
we're going
to postpone our family vacation
and use that money
to order you
your encyclopedia set.
DAD:
Mm-hmm.
Aw. You know what?
I'm over that.
I-I heard
it's not that great anyway
but thanks, though.
( laughing ):
That was close.
Hugh.
Of course, it would have been
for a very worthy cause.
MOM:
Yes.
Uh, Dad, can I just
ask you a question?
Hmm?
Well, that $50
that you didn't invest
with McSpanky--
what did you spend it on?
Well, son, I spent it
on your mother's wedding ring.
Mm.
And it was all the money
your father had to his name.
Mm-hmm.
You see it's about having
your priorities in order, son.
But, man, if I had
had $100 at the time
we'd be loaded
right now!
Ducks everywhere.
We'd live
in Quackertown.
And I would require
every member
of Quackertown
to have webbed feet
and a duck bill.
I would go to
the doctor myself
and have the webbed
toes put in.
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and MTV TELEVISION NETWORKS
Captioned by
access.wgbh.org
Oh.
Hi. I'm Paul.
JIMMY:
Got to blast!