The Almighty Johnsons (2011) s01e04 Episode Script

Buggery bollocks.
Catch you next time I'm through the bay! I'm 92 years old, nearly 93.
Bottom line is I get old really, really slowly.
I think you're a great guy but I just don't see you that way.
But I hope we can be friends.
Can we do that, do you think? Why can't he be nice like you? Because he's special.
You're the greatest.
Don't you forget that.
And lo, he still talks crap.
Dawn, are you still working for this asshole? I have no idea why.
Valerie's on drugs.
I caught her shooting up.
She's injecting hormones as part of the IVF program to make a baby.
You look a bit peaky, Axl, are you getting enough sleep? I'm good.
Better get to work, eh? I love it that you can help Mike.
It's good work experience, too.
I made you sammies.
Joys.
It would have been leftover chicken, but there weren't any leftovers.
Yeah, okay.
It's not okay, Mike.
The man eats like a horse and he doesn't contribute.
He has to go.
I thought Olaf had gone.
But he'll be back, oh yes, he'll be back, to eat more.
I will talk to him when he's back.
Don't stress, okay? I'm not stressing.
Mike Johnson.
Pete, hi.
What are you after now? Pete, there's no point in going on about it till I've seen what you're actually talking about.
I'll shoot around when I can.
Later today sometime.
I don't know, but I'll call you when I'm coming.
Yeah, okay.
Let me guess, Pete the moaning yuppie? He's not a yuppie.
You call him that.
Yeah, once, then I discovered he's from Zimbabwe.
Whatever.
You can still tell him where to stick his door handles or whatever this week's problem is.
The job's not finished till the client is happy.
Oh dear god.
What is this? Celery, cottage cheese and walnut.
High in protein and economical, apparently.
Pie is cheap, too.
Valerie's very keen that I eat properly.
What? By poisoning you? Look uh just run with it, okay? She's back on the hormone treatment, makes her a bit stressed, more than usual.
Yeah.
Good luck with that, eh? Hey there! Do you guys know Olaf? sure.
Is he here? Not right now.
Buddy and Eso said he might be.
Sometimes they'd be right, but not today.
Okay.
Could you give him a message? Yeah, when I see him.
I'm Rhiannon.
We met in Raglan.
He rammed into me and totally mounted my board.
He owes you a new board.
Oh, no, no, no, I got a better one second-hand and he was so right, I should try a longer board.
I'll tell him.
Also, Buddy says hi and Eso is going to Endeavour.
I'll tell him.
Cool.
And could you also tell him I'm, like, hapu.
Is that a type of fish? No, up the duff, pregnant? Just thought he should know, eh? Any chance I could crash for a few days? I thought Valerie took it really well, considering.
We'll talk about this when I get back from work, okay? This is the best sandwich ever! Rhiannon's a mortal, right? Yes.
More work, less talk.
So, Olaf can knock up mortals.
yes So, you and Val, you being a God's not the problem.
Axl, I'm paying you to work, not solve my problems for me.
I'm not really in a workplace today.
You're hung over, aren't you? It's not my fault.
These celebrity things, they give the piss away.
Ah.
So you were out with Anders.
And with the weather girl, Karen Magnuson.
Getting anything? No.
You're not here to drink.
But it's free! Doesn't matter, you're here to work.
These people earn heaps.
How come they get free piss too? The world's unfair.
Karen, Karen, blonde, goddess like.
Get busy.
Hey, there's that dickhead from that TV show.
Don't point, don't point.
She's the chick from the lame TV ads.
Karen, Axl, focus on Karen.
Yeah.
Said, like, two words to her and she walked away.
Not the Frigg then.
Anders tried using his powers on her, walked away from him too.
I guess weather girls are smarter than Anders gives credit.
Probably 'cause they know all about the weather.
It's funny how he thinks you're going to find her at some celebrity pisser.
He's working with what he knows, I reckon.
Mind you, I'm not exactly going to find her in some reno job, am I? At least I'm paying you, or I would if you actually did some work.
Send flowers to Karen Magnuson and a fruit basket to Robin.
Oh, make sure it's an eco-basket.
I don't think the gift company do those.
Bruise a couple of paw paw, stick them in something flax.
I don't think I have anything flax.
Hello? Rosie.
Hi.
I need to see you.
And I'd love to see you too, Rosie I brought you some of that ginseng tonic.
You're an angel, and I'd love to stay, but Rosie, I have a meeting.
Rosie, are you okay? No, I've got a wee problem today with the launch.
I had a couple of drinks Didn't we all? and there was an incident.
Rosie, I am here for you, just not right now.
I get you and your commitment to the nation's health.
I'm mostly doing it for the money.
Well, we all are, but you still care.
Caring's your brand and it's my brand too.
That's why I need to go to this lunch, for you, Rosie.
I had a bit of a run-in with Mana Granger.
Forget him.
He's an idiot who picks fights with everyone.
No, it wasn't like that.
I went up to say hello and tell him how much I love his work and he told me he had the flu and he asked me if I had anything for that.
And I had some Headstrong in my bag, so I gave him some.
And anyway, afterwards we had a few drinks and we got talking and one thing just kind of led to another.
You slept with Mana Granger? It was more standing up in the hotel loading bay.
Go, Rosie! But it turns out there was a video camera in the loading bay and someone was watching and they recorded it and now they're threatening to put it on the Internet! This could be quite bad for me, with my contract up for renewal? Don't be silly, Rosie, you are Health In a Minute.
The public of New Zealand rely on you for your advice.
They're not going to dump you 'cause you shag some actor up against a loading bay wall.
It was one of those big rubbish bins Rosie, I will handle this.
Don't worry.
So, you just tell Dawn everything she needs to know and I guarantee that she will get hold of that surveillance footage and knock this thing on the head.
Me? I need to do this lunch.
Rosie, I promise you, this will be sorted.
He's amazing, isn't he? You didn't bloody believe me, did you, eh? Thought I was just bloody moaning about nothing! The first time, the first time we get a decent drop of rain, This was pissing in everywhere! You should see my daughter's room! We have to move her because it was pissing into her bed while she's bloody asleep! Fuck a duck, Mike.
You built a leaky home.
It's not a leaky home.
It is a home and it is definitely leaking.
It's not the cladding, it's the roof.
But you still built it and it's still leaking.
I subbed out the roofing job to Dennis.
- Fat guy, plays the harmonica.
- Yeah.
You're off the hook then.
It's his fault.
It doesn't work like that.
Uh, yeah it does.
Just foot the bloody ladder, will you? Sorry.
Sorry I'm late.
I had to find organic fruit and then one of our clients is being blackmailed, not that those two things are connected.
Anyway, I had to get a hold of the guy and of course he wants cash in exchange for the sex tape.
Hold on.
Why is Anders sending you to deal with a blackmailer? That's kind of the usual stuff I end up dealing with.
It's really not as bad as it sounds.
What should we eat? Just hold on.
Blackmail.
Shouldn't you be going to the police? No, Rosie doesn't want us to.
Rosie from Health In a Minute.
Yeah, she's a real sweetie.
But you you should not have to deal with this.
But I have to.
It's my job.
Okay, but not this way.
What other way is there? I'm Dawn, we spoke on the phone.
I said come alone.
I believe you have a disc or something.
Hand it over.
Where's my money? No money.
You can fuck off.
Hand it over now or I go to your employer and then the police, Brian.
Ow! Ow, fuck! That burns! Then hand over the thing, dickhead! - Is this the only one? - Yes! Nothing left on the hard drive? No! I swear! Then piss off.
And next time you try to blackmail someone, don't wear your name tag.
Moron.
That was awesome.
How did you do that thing with the wrist? Uh, four brothers.
We fought a lot.
It's like a Chinese burn,sort of.
All I'm saying is here, it's a mess, but it's Dennis' mess.
Let him wear it.
Hey, wage slaves.
You, you're causing me grief.
I only just got here.
Yeah, it's where else you've been that's the problem.
Pregnant.
Bummer.
Bummer? You get a chick pregnant all you can say is "bummer"? Yay, the joy of life.
Grandpa, you have to learn to keep it sheathed.
Condoms mess with my flow.
That's the whole point.
Hang on.
Is this not the first time this has happened? It's happened a few times.
How many is a few? 1940, then 1944, '46, '53 Ballpark figure, Grandpa.
20? Give or take, that I know of.
What can I do? I'm a god Well, number 21 was sitting in my kitchen when I left for work this morning.
Oh, bugger.
Tricky.
Guess you better get going, I guess so.
Hold up.
What are you doing? I'm shooting through.
You're leaving? A god's got to do what he's got to do.
But she's pregnant.
Yes, I know.
That's why I'm shooting through.
Come on.
And you're okay with this? Generally, it's for the best.
I can't believe you're going with this.
What about all the man-up bullshit you're always giving me? Look, there are a lot of reasons Oh, crapola.
Olaf, you're back.
Hey, Val.
Hey, Ollie.
Hey, babe.
I just heard the news.
Yeah, hey.
Far out.
Does this mean he's leaving or not? How was lunch? They were interested and the paws were fantastic.
What is it? It's the footage of Rosie and and I didn't even have to pay for it.
Outstanding work, Dawn.
Is she a goer? I haven't looked at it.
Why not? Because I would feel weird.
It's private.
But if we don't look at it, how will we be sure if it's real? True.
Hey, how did you get hold of it for free? Ty helped me.
Ty? We were meant to have lunch.
We're just friends.
There they are.
Like a moth to a flame.
Rosie.
Hey, look, is that Mana's manhood? Ew! Oh Rosie, no.
Oh, I wonder if that's how she got her job in television.
Oh, turn it off.
Up goes the skirt, down goes the knickers and hello.
Oh God, Rosie, why? And there he is, making the face.
Clearly health isn't the only thing Rosie does in a minute.
It is so good we got this back.
Yes, it is, isn't it? This is awesome, Valerie.
It's good you're not feeling sick.
But my boobs are really sore.
They feel ginormous.
Really? Hey.
What? Not at the table, Olaf.
So, how far along are you? 10 weeks, I think.
I see.
Been a slacker.
If I leave it any longer, I won't be able to get an abortion.
Oh.
That is such an ugly word.
Yeah, but it's a fact of life, isn't it? Babies are so cool, the way they look at you with those freaky eyes.
Really? I've never really been that into them.
You've got to love life, babe.
Guess so.
Every chance you get.
Dennis.
Thanks for getting back to me.
Um, just hold on a tick.
Me and this lovely lady have got talking to do.
Well, I guess no one wants pudding.
I'll have some.
I'm sorry, it's just the hormones.
It's just, it's so easy for some people.
Sorry, just pulling up some research for Anders.
It won't be a tick.
It can wait.
Oh, he says it's urgent.
Oh, you were amazing today.
Any chance you could teach me the Chinese burn thing? Sometime.
And we're going.
Sorry, really bad at leaving.
Taking the bag, moving to the door.
Come on, you can do it too.
Oh, leave it.
We can walk and I can talk.
Dawn speaking.
Rosie, hi.
What you mean it's all over the Internet? Anders, I have no idea why you're not picking up, but when you got this or my any other messages, call me back immediately.
I just don't understand how this could have happened.
That guy, he must've had another copy.
Or what other explanation is there? Between us getting it back from the guy and it ending up on who had the footage? Anders, but why would Anders post it? 'Cause he's a prick and maybe it amused him too.
But she's our client.
He wouldn't do that.
So, why's he not answering your calls? Because he's out with a client.
Female and blonde? No, no actual maybe client.
We do kind of need some new ones.
Anders always craps on about how he's doing great.
Anders is really good at getting clients, just not so much at keeping them.
And why don't you like Anders? Because he's my brother and I know him.
Apart from that.
I don't like the way he takes advantage of people, like you.
I'm fine.
Don't you ever get sick of him? Sometimes at night I get a little resentful.
But then the next day I talk to Anders and it's all fine again.
What? I just think you're too good for him.
No, really.
You could get another job or even start your own agency.
I mean, you do all the work.
Thanks, that's really nice of you, but Anders is so great with people.
He starts to talk and they just feel better somehow.
And he definitely wouldn't have posted that footage.
He wouldn't have any reason to.
Ugh ugh, Christ.
This is on the net now? Yeah, it was just luck I saw it.
Fuck.
Your wife won't be too pleased.
I'm about to sign for a Disney movie.
Good role? Pretty much the adult lead.
Wow.
I don't think Disney's gona to want me if they see this! By tomorrow a lot of people will have seen this.
What's happened has happened, Mana.
But you and I both know this is not your fault.
She led me on.
I was thinking more how you were drugged.
I wasn't lying and how did you Shit! They had cameras in the bogs, too.
No, no they don't.
And we won't be mentioning that from here on in.
We? Look, might all seem like crap at the moment, but soon that crap will be smelling like sweet roses.
How? You had a cold, right? Flu.
Think it's going to my chest.
And Rosie give you something for it? Headstrong? Some flu medicine shit, but with no P in it.
Yeah, but it's still a drug.
Combined with a few glasses of wine Plus the line I did in the loo, which we're not mentioning.
Think about it, Mana, what other explanation is there? I mean,you and Rosie? I know.
What was I thinking? The point is you won't Are you saying I'm thick? I'm saying you had no control because of the powerful effects of the drug.
You were taken advantage of Like date rape.
If you like.
Makes me sound like a pussy! You? No way.
You're a strong, decent guy.
I know that, the public knows that.
And we need to tell them exactly what happened here and turn that negative into a positive.
Will I still get the Disney movie? Crap to roses, my friend.
This house needs a bit of sound insulation.
Yes, yes it does.
I think I might go to bed.
See you then.
Don't be a stranger.
Hey how were the sandwiches? Wicked.
So, were you trying to get Olaf to leave because of Valerie? What? So she wouldn't get upset being around pregnant people when she can't, you know? No, that's not the reason.
Then why? I mean, you're Mr.
Responsibility and she's pregnant and you're helping Olaf do a run out.
It's complicated.
No, it's not.
Think about it, Axl.
What happens in 10, 15 years' time? The kid's alive and has a dad? If she stays with Olaf he doesn't age bugger all, she starts to notice.
What should we do then? Oh yeah.
I've been through this before, Axl, with Olaf.
It is shit that is none of our business.
What did Dennis say? He's gone under.
Gone bust? Yep.
What about insurance? You don't get insurance against doing a shit job.
Can we not talk about this in here? I am trying to keep Valerie calm, remember? But that shouldn't be your problem.
It should be Dennis's problem And I don't care if Pete's from Zimbabwe or whatever, he's still a pain in the ass, so tough luck on him.
Do you ever read a newspaper? I'm shagged.
It's a problem with working.
Your brother called, Anders, he's out in the piss with some actor if you want to meet him.
Pass.
That's very unlike you, Axl.
Did something bad go down in Zimbabwe? Uh, just a little bit bad.
Why? How come everyone else knows about it and I don't? Maybe because I watched the news, plus I studied it with my dad when I was homeschooled.
Oppressive regimes are one of his favourite topics.
Okay.
I've told you many times how my dad's a bit unusual.
Bet he's not as weird as my family.
They seem pretty normal to me, especially compared to Bryn.
Trust me, they're nuts.
And they never do what they should do, if they were proper, normal people.
Which is what, exactly? Normal shit.
Plus they still treat me like I'm the stupid baby of the family.
But you are.
So, give me the lowdown on Zimbabwe.
I'm sorry.
What for? The whole Olaf thing.
It's okay.
Yes? The poor girl.
Yeah.
Still, this could be good for Olaf, you know, facing up to things.
He could finally settle down.
Can you run over and turn out your light? I've got a trip tomorrow.
I'm surprised I'm not Deaf after all these bus trips.
You can take more time off if you want.
We can hardly afford things as we are, and I have to save my leave for the next round of treatment.
And I think the washing machine's on the blink.
It did that stop/start thing again today.
It will all be okay.
It will all be okay.
Hey.
Want a hand there? No.
That's sweet.
So, how's it going? Great.
We're going surfing.
Can you do that while you're Hapu? Yeah, that.
Like Ollie says, it's natural and beautiful.
So, you're going to keep it? Well, I was thinking we could get a place at Piha Buddy knows this guy who wants to sublet, so.
Okay, cool.
Ollie is the best.
Yep, isn't he? So, you're really going to do this? She's a real sweet girl.
And the sex, mind altering.
Well, I think it's wicked you're taking responsibility.
Don't do this to me, man.
Do what? You sound like Mike.
So square.
So, you're going to get a place together? She thinks you are.
Hey, if that makes her happy.
If you're going to have a baby, it kind of goes with the territory.
It's three foot and glassy.
I got to get out there.
Tell Val we need more bread.
Rosie has gone into hiding.
She's being harassed by journalists.
Did you pull the stuff on Headstrong? That's important right now? Dawn, it could save our lives.
But what about Rosie's life? She could lose her contract.
Rosie wasn't in a good position anyway.
The network wants a younger demographic, but I wanted her to stay positive.
Do you trust me, Dawn? Not always, no.
That's a little bit hurtful.
I'm sorry, Anders, I just think we should be getting behind Rosie, not research the known side effects of some cold pill.
But you have done what I asked, right? It was on the website.
Okay, so what's the guts on the side effects? Drowsiness, loss of appetite, all the usual.
Anything about raised libido? I think I would have noticed that.
Here we go, here we go.
Not to be taken with alcohol, and I'm assuming cocaine, not that we'll be mentioning that to Lizzie.
You use Lizzie? Yeah, call her, confirm she can have the exclusive as long as she does the interview today.
With Rosie.
With Mana.
Why are we organizing press for that wanker? Because he's our client.
What? And a father of three.
You want them to grow up fatherless because of one mistake? For Maori youth to lose a powerful role model? Well, I had no idea that Headstrong combined with one beer would have such a strong effect.
I can't believe that I did it, but I did.
It was like I was out of control and couldn't stop myself.
I really felt like I let myself down, my wife, my beautiful kids, my family.
And I've got to take responsibility, man up.
And people need to know about this, especially if they've got a cold.
So, was Pete a farmer? What? In Zimbabwe, they got chucked off their land? He was in business, then he got scared for his family and left it all behind.
Everything? All he's got, it's all in here.
The main thing is I will fix it.
You will? It'll be evenings, weekends, whatever I can, but you're going to have to move out.
We can't afford to-- I know and I will take care of that You paid for a watertight house and that's what you'll get.
This is amazing.
I mean, you hear the stories, eh? Leaky buildings, the lawyers, the bull crap.
I would not do that to you.
Yeah.
You took a while with the pies.
I went to see a lending agent.
I think I can get something for them in Pointship How the hell can you afford that? I'll shuffle things around.
Okay, give me shit if you want.
This is still not your fault.
This is the way I have to do it.
What about Valerie? We won't tell her.
Like she won't find out.
She finds out everything eventually.
She's a teacher, man, they know.
Just shut up, eat your pie, or tomorrow it's sandwiches again.
Hello, how's it going? It's this stupid washing machine.
It was full of Olaf's towels and tons of stuff and then it just started making this hideous noise and now it's dead.
It's okay, love.
It's just a washing machine.
We'll get another one.
Anders, if you do ever actually pick up the phone I've got Rosie in the office.
She saw the Mana Granger interview and she's not too happy.
Call me.
I just want to kill him.
Anders? No, Mana, why would I want to kill Anders? No reason.
He came on to me, not the other way around.
Now he's acting like I'm some kind of hideous beast and he only did it because he was drugged! And going on about his kids? I've got a little girl in year two and an ex-husband who's treating me like shit! And I probably lost my job.
I just don't understand how this could've happened.
What do you want? To see you.
Okay, make it quick.
I'm expecting a call from Gulf & Straight.
From who? Only one of the world's largest drug companies.
Mike's in shit.
So? Well, him and Valerie, they're trying the IVF thing again and some dude ducked them on a house and now he has to fix it and he's got no money.
This is an issue for me, why? You're his brother? I'm sorry, isn't Mike a god? Yeah, so? Lesson one, Axl, gods are not meant to be pussy whipped by nagging primary school teachers.
Valerie teaches intermediate.
She's still barren.
If Mike was meant to have kids with her, he would have by now.
That's harsh.
Like I said: gods, not pussies.
Well, I want to help him.
Lesson two: Mike is Ullr, god of games.
He can make a shitload any day by simply walking into a casino, but he won't 'cause he's a pussy.
Fuck you, Anders! You pour crap on Mike like he is the worst person in the world, but he's our brother! And if we don't stand by each other, who else will? Okay.
Getting heated there, bro.
Showing a little power.
Ow.
If you want me to help you get your powers, and I know that's the only reason you give a shit about my quest, then you have to help me.
I feel like the biggest idiot on the planet.
I mean, I know she's just a presenter on some dumb infomercial, but she's a nice person.
And I am lying to her and he, he just doesn't give a shit about her or me or anyone.
It's who and what he is.
And he's always so plausible.
It's his gift.
The gift of the gab.
You could say that.
What about doing what's right? You should do what you feel is right.
What I want is to leave.
I can't stand it a moment longer.
Then leave.
When I do, he'll talk me out of it.
Have you thought about earplugs? What? You know, if you're at work and there's construction or leaf blowers, you'd use earplugs.
But Anders isn't a leaf blower.
But if he was a leaf blower? I do hate leaf blowers.
I mean, what is so wrong with using a rake to pick up the leaves? I do, think about that sometimes and how much petrol it would save the planet if we all just But I'm probably going off on a tangent.
I like your tangents.
Really? You're a great person with so much goodness.
And if you really want to leave Ear plugs.
The world is our oyster, Dawn, and that colour really brings out your eyes.
You having a little tidy? Oh, you're here.
Love the way you keep everything neat.
Keeps me grounded.
And I love it, Dawn, how you bring me back to the real.
This is my resignation.
I quit, as of now.
Dawn, I I know I've been a bit remiss and not around, but it's only to further the business, our business.
And we have a meeting with Gulf&Straight today.
Bye, Anders.
Hey, what's wrong with your ears? The thing in your ears? I have an ear infection.
In both ears? And you are unethical, a slave driver and selfish.
And what you've done to Rosie is evil and appalling.
So I don't want to work for you anymore.
Hey.
You want breakfast,babe? I'm making heaps.
Sure, great.
Be there soon.
She's the best.
She is right up there.
What are you doing? She's got me looking at a house, wants me to get a job.
It's what people do.
I'm not a person.
I thought you were into this.
You made her think you were.
It's easier to leave when you don't suspect you're about to leave.
She thinks you love her.
I do.
It's why I have to go.
That's not how it works.
The way I see it, gods, we're serial monogamists.
But you just said you love her.
I do.
You don't run out on the people you love.
You think I haven't tried it? Love? Because I have, Axl, and it never turns out well.
Is this with Grandma? No, no.
Fuck no.
That was survival.
Eileen O'Leary.
She was 29 when I met her, a schoolteacher in the Hokianga with dark curls and her laughing eyes.
But every year she got older and started finding grey hairs and the kids got bigger and me, I was me.
Leaving her, getting that boat to California, hardest day of my life.
Probably wasn't that crash on for her.
She died.
Because you left? In 2001.
I saw her death notice in the paper.
But what about Rhiannon? Give her this.
That's it? That's all you have to offer? Look, she'll work it out.
That's the great thing about ladies, the mother thing they have.
You know, Grandpa, I'm not liking you much right now.
Well, you're just lucky you don't have to be me for the next few hundred years.
You're all about good works, aren't you, you sanctimonious prick? Did you tell her everything? About my power over her? Of course not.
Good.
'Cause that could really bite you in the ass.
Tell me, how long have you had the hots for Dawn? Or should I say the colds? Don't make this cheap.
You want to fuck her.
I hate seeing you misuse your powers with such a great person.
How would that go? Mr.
Freezie with the warmest, nicest person in the world? That's not why I helped her.
You want to hump her, shag her, make the beast with two backs.
Fuck you! I'll get her back, Ty.
One phone call, she's mine again.
Don't do it to her.
She deserves way better than you.
Oh, give it a break, Ty.
You're the one who should be letting her go, not me.
Unless you want Dawn to be another one of your girlfriends, that is a girl who's just a friend.
You give yourself away, Ty, all the time.
Don't mess with my business again.
When will he be back? I don't really know.
Why would he walk out while I was making toast? He really likes food.
He kind of had to.
Why? It was an emergency, but he said to say he's really sorry and to give you this.
The bastard, he's bloody shot through, isn't he? What about the place at Piha? I'm really sorry.
I just want to say that you are welcome to stay here for as long as you like, there's anything we can do, that I can do.
That's real sweet of you.
No, I mean it.
I mean, kids, they're so important.
And help yourself to anything.
I've got vitamins in the bathroom.
Why do I need vitamins? Well, you need to look after yourself.
I've got an article on vitamin deficiency in pregnancy, if you want to look at it.
Anyway.
I better go.
I'll see you tonight.
I guess I better call the doctor.
What? No.
What about Valerie? What about giving the baby to her? She'd just about kill to have a baby.
Yeah, she would.
And I'm around too.
You'd put your hand up for this? You take responsibility of your cousin's kid with a woman you don't even know? I thought so.
Which is a shame because you're kind of cute.
But the thing is, why? When someone really wants needs a baby.
- Valerie - And Mike too.
He's cool and really together and and Valerie knows heaps about kid stuff and it could work out real good.
And the whole IVF thing is just about killing them.
- You ready? - Sure.
Just think about it, eh? Hey.
How is it? Did you check out the place in the Pointship.
No, we thought the better of it.
Why? It's not your fault.
We can see that, after your brothers came to see us.
He really wants to help, but you need to be aware of his own situation and that he has kind of a problem.
He cannot admit when things are too much.
It's very sad my brother could lose his business and his marriage because of what this Dennis guy did.
You listen to me.
Whatever line he spun you, I am fine.
I can do this and I'm a man of my word.
But you don't have to! No, I do.
Take the place in Pointship You let me know it's done and I will transfer the rent into your account.
If you're sure.
I am sure.
See you soon.
Okay.
Thanks, Mike.
Nice one.
We were just trying to help.
I don't need your fucking help! Why can't you just admit it for fuck sakes! This is way too hard for you! It is what I believe in.
I get Zimbabwe, okay, sort of? Poor Pete and all that.
I still don't see why you have to make it so hard for yourself all the time! You want me to gamble, is that it? Take the easy way out? Why not? I want you to accept my help, for fuck sakes, and stop treating me like I'm some fucking moron instead of your brother! You really want to help me? - You really want to help me? - I do.
- Ty here.
- It's me, Dawn.
Hey there.
How are you? Good.
I think.
You're not sure? No.
I'm good.
Except I think I want to ask you out, on sort of date, which is a thing where you have a drink or a meal.
Only I know we've had drinks before but this would be more of a proper drink, if you know what I mean.
Is it too tangential? No, and I love your tangents.
That's cool.
So, I will take you out for a drink to say thank you for being my friend when I needed a friend and to talk about stuff.
Yeah.
Okay, well, I'll text you.
We'll sort something out.
Yeah.
Friend.
I thought we were only having a drink.
I couldn't let you leave without a proper tribute to your brilliance.
And I have good news on many fronts, not that you care now that you've left.
Gulf & Straight have given us the Australasian account.
Don't they want to sue your ass for defaming their product? Initially yes, but I talked them round and now Headstrong is the new Viagra, all thanks to us.
But that's not true.
We're making the appropriate denials, but it's rushing off the shelves.
All those punters want to get lucky and score themselves a cougar.
Rosie is not a cougar.
She is now and she's loving it.
I got her two magazine covers and a renewal on her contract.
But I thought they wanted a younger demographic.
Young's how you feel, baby, and Rosie has shown a whole new side to herself.
Two years and a cougar confessional book deal.
I love Rosie.
I looked after her.
And you, Dawn, you're my bedrock, my core values.
Without you, I'm nothing.
I want to look after you, too.
Please, please don't leave me.
- I want a pay raise.
- Done.
Off surfing? I'm going to the doctor.
With a surfboard? Olaf isn't the only one who can shoot through.
What about Mike and Val? What about them? Valerie would make a great mother.
I know, but she is way uptight.
She's normal and good and nice.
I just, I can't do it, you know, give the kid away.
I wanted to keep it, Axl, but with Ollie, his kid.
What the fuck is wrong with him? He's so wise in some ways and other ways he's Immature? Full of shit.
He reconed he went surfing with the Beach boys but they'd all be dead or,like, 100.
Yeah.
It's my ride.
Hey, Bud.
Anything I can do? No, I'm alright.
She didn't have to go.
It's her choice, I guess.
I suppose.
Hey, if this is too hard, if I'm too hard, you just have to say.
It's not.
You start unloading.
Yeah, great.
Well, you did offer to help.
And in my world, this passes for help.
And I appreciate it.
I'm not getting paid for this job, am I? Fuck no.
You think I'm made of money? - Chalk it up to experience.
- Great.
You're paying for the pies,though! No pies today, brother.
Not having those bloody sandwiches.
Made them specially.