The Baby (2022) s01e04 Episode Script

1 Mr.
Boop, Mr.
Boop ♪ Little feet go boopy boop ♪ Boopy, boopy, boopy ♪ Oh, hello.
Sorry, uh.
Decaf oat milk flat white, please.
- Thanks.
- Your baby's well cute.
Yeah, thank you.
Oh, uh, and one of those, please.
Yeah, sure.
Thanks.
Where is she? What? No.
You tell me where she is.
Do you do this on purpose 'cause, honestly, I can't tell.
Excuse me? We are meant to be on stage in 45 minutes for the "Illusionists" audition, - and she won't pick up her phone.
- Yeah? Well, she's just taken a baby from my flat.
- She's gone West! - What do you expect? You appear out of nowhere with an elderly girlfriend, dangle a baby in front of her, and then disappear without a word of explanation.
And now I'm somehow meant to perform the Assistant's Revenge trick without a fucking assistant! She's skiving your audition.
Maybe it's 'cause she's finally got wind of the fact that you're just usin' her to get your spandexed arse paid.
Good luck getting the producer to put your sparkly cameltoe on a poster.
- Yeah, fuck you.
- Fuck you! Fuck you! Pick up, Bobbi! Where are you? What you playing at? Call me back, now! "Gone to Mum's bumblebee, love-heart, rainbow, shooting-star"? Bobbi! Welcome to Jupiter House! We're going to have so much fun.
Wanna see my favorite spot? I know exactly what Bobbi's playing at.
We go in, we get the baby, and we leave.
I'm not saying one word to that woman.
When did you last see your mother? My gran's funeral, about 15 years ago.
She tried to lead a gratitude circle, and I told her she's a narcissist.
She lives in this whack commune.
The whole place smells of nag champa and chicken shit.
Okay Oh! Bobbi, I swear to god, I'm gonna fucking kill her.
What if he tries to hurt her? Should've killed him when you had a chance.
He's trying to send you a message.
Hmm? What message? Shit.
I know where they are.
Bobbi! Bobbi! Sorry went down the wrong way.
What the fuck were you thinkin'? You said I could help.
A-And you seemed a bit s-stressed.
And you thought coming here was the solution to that? Well I thought it could be good for you, and Mum hasn't met him yet.
This is the last place I need to be.
Natasha, slow down.
Natasha s-stop running away from me.
I'm worried about you.
I, I, I just want to know that you're okay.
- Are you okay? - I'm fine.
No, you're not.
You're terrified.
Something's really wrong.
Just talk to me.
He's not my baby.
He fell off a cliff and I caught him.
And now, I can't get rid of him.
He's dangerous, Bob.
And if you try and take him he'll kill you.
I'd, I'd forgotten how mean you are.
Is your sister okay? She's fabulous.
She's gonna stick around and play happy families with my mum.
Let's go.
Hmm.
Jesus.
He's trying to keep us here.
Why? Someone will come and take a look at the car.
Might take a while.
You and your friend can wait in the house if you like.
I know you didn't come here to see me so I'll do my best to stay outta your way.
Bobbi told me about this one.
You were exactly the same.
Could never get you to settle.
I'll make a bed up for you in case you need to stay.
Is there a lake here? - Yeah.
- Good we'll do it there.
Why're you doing this? I'm trying to save your life.
No.
Tell me who you are to him.
Tell me why someone would spend 50 years livin' in a car, eatin' rank-ass apple pies.
'Cause right now, all I see is a batty old lady telling me to throw a baby in a lake, and to be honest, I'm not feelin' it.
Nothing?! Okay, fuck this.
Whatever your plan is clearly isn't working.
Where are you going, you stupid girl? Don't walk away.
We're, we're so close.
If you don't wanna tell me what the fuck is going on with him, I'll figure it out for myself.
You'll be dead this time tomorrow.
I'll be following some other stupid girl.
Stupid girl! What do you want? Are you hungry? Bloody hell, you're a unit.
What d'ya want? Maybe you can give me a break, yeah? Get you some food, keep our heads down, then find a way out, all right? Hi, Ma! Honey says the cider's ready for tonight, if you wanna try it.
Precious Bobbi! Aww! I am so happy they're here.
And I'm so happy you're here, too.
Yeah Aww! You've become an Aunt and I've become an Elder.
So, whatever the circumstances, that's a blessing, isn't it? Mm.
Now, pump up your bed, will ya? This is my bed.
- Oh, Bobbi.
- Right.
- I'll see ya at dinner.
- Yeah.
Come on.
Come on.
He's crying 'cause you're tired.
You need to sleep, he needs to cry it out.
Hello, I'm Honey.
And you must be Natasha.
And this must be your lovely baby.
Oh, y-you've caught us in the middle of slightly glorious chaos.
Gosh, they are wonderful at that age, aren't they? Do you do skin-on-skin? - What? - Oh.
You put them just here, on your chest, until your heartbeats are in sync.
The bodily connection between a mother and her child - is quite extraordinary.
- Right.
Are you staying for the Solstice tonight? - Sadly not.
- Oh, you must! Maybe, if we're very kind to Bobbi, she'll give us a magic trick.
Then, it's all hands on deck for the bonfire.
Alright, alright, alright.
Um, what have I got here? Chocolate coins! Now, I need all of you to concentrate really hard on getting these coins into that bowl.
- Okay.
- Okay? Three, two, one.
- Where did they go? - Wow! Guess it didn't work.
Unless Check your pockets.
Chocolate coin! Okay, everyone, chocolate in the treat cupboard.
Aww! But Bob just gave 'em the coins.
Processed sugar makes our teeth go black and fall out.
It's fine, Tash.
Why don't you have a baby? Is it because you're a lesbian? We encourage the children to be curious and open, and we respond in the spirit of radical honesty.
Uh, w-well, um, m-my partner and I, uh, d-decided that, uh, having a, a biological baby wasn't um, 'cause pregnancy Processed sugar won't turn your teeth black.
I ate sweets all the time when I was a kid.
I've got lovely teeth.
Time to go down to the bonfire.
But I want my chocolate coin! Jacob at Jupiter House, we don't raise our voices in anger.
- We only raise them in joy.
- Only in joy.
Now go and help the others.
Come on.
No more chocolate coins, Bobbi.
Eh? Just can't help yourself, can you? This fucking place.
Natasha? Can I have a cigarette? What? I'll show you Barbara's workshop.
It's where she goes when she's having a meltdown.
No one's allowed in here.
Can I have a cigarette now? All right, don't smoke in front of anyone until you can inhale without coughing, all right? Always use these two fingers.
Never these two, unless you wanna look like a twat.
And if someone asks you for a cigarette, always say yes.
Unless it's your last one, in which case you'll say you'll twos it.
What's twos it? Never mind.
Hello.
What do you want? Uh She needs you to put the baby to sleep again.
You're the only person who can do it.
It's classic Natasha, isn't it? It's like tryin' to love a clam.
Totally.
Who exactly are you? - Um - You.
'Cause I know you're not her yoga teacher.
I'm helping her out with the baby.
You can tell her if she wants my help, she can ask for it herself.
Ah! What happened to you? There's a box of your old baby clothes in the guest room.
Got 'em out for Bobbi.
Probably more useful for you.
Doting grandmother doesn't suit you.
Well, reluctant mother doesn't suit you.
You don't have anything to prove.
Well, least of all to me.
Was it worth it then? To go and live in a field, and make little clay people? Well, you tell me.
Has havin' a baby fixed the hole in your soul? Why did you come here, Natasha? These are shit, by the way.
Don't fucking start.
What do you want? Huh? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want?! What do you want? What do you want? What do you want?! What do you want?! What do you fucking well want?! What do you want?! Just tell me what you want! What do you want?! Get some sleep Come on.
He doesn't let me sleep.
Let him cry.
Come down to the feast when you're ready, eh? Why did you bring me here? Well, as you all know Summer Solstice is my favorite night of the year.
Yeah.
It's a celebration of the Dark Womb from whom we emerge and to whom we return.
But on Solstice night, we recognize the light within us, that we may see clearly what's been asked of us.
So that we can be the best we possibly can for each other.
Yes! And this year's Solstice is a special one because I have both my daughters under the same roof.
And a grandchild! So, let's dedicate this year's Solstice to mothers and the children that make them.
To mothers and the children who make them! My mother's child ♪ Curses too loud and too often ♪ My mother's child laughs ♪ Too loud and too long ♪ And howls at the moon ♪ And sleeps in ditches ♪ And clumsily raises ♪ Her voice in this song ♪ I am my mother's savage daughter ♪ The one who runs barefoot, cursing sharp stones ♪ I am my mother's savage daughter ♪ Hey.
Hey, it's okay.
You're okay.
Shh You're trying to kill us.
- I, I didn't know it would hurt you.
- Liar! You don't even know why you're doin' this anymore, do you? Do you?! Helen.
Who the fuck is Helen? You're not going to tell me? I'm done! You want her to know? 'Cause I'm leavin' this mad house right now.
Natasha Williams.
Lydia McNaish-Wilcox.
Yolanda Rey.
Tanya Anne Curtis.
Ines Moreno.
Alia Waseed.
Kate Redfern! I told you to stay away from me, - you crazy fucking bitch! - Rosie Stone! Take one step closer, I swear to fucking God! He wants to show you.
Helen? Helen? Helen! Helen!