The Boys Presents: Diabolical (2022) s01e04 Episode Script
Boyd in 3D
- [PANTING]
- [DISTANT SIREN WAILING]
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
[PELL: "QUESO"]
[CHIMES]
- [SIGHS, YELPS]
- [DOGS BARKING]
I got that moolah,
moolah, moolah ♪
Queso, queso, queso ♪
Camouflage money, they can't ♪
See my bankroll, nah ♪
I been whipping,
whipping, whip, ya ♪
Django, Django,
Django, Django ♪
Smooth ass ,
blame it on the Jame-O ♪
I really don't know
why I called ♪
Why you call her? ♪
I said I really don't know ♪
Why I called ♪
Why you call her? ♪
I said I really don't know ♪♪
- [HORN HONKS]
- Whoa! Geez.
Get out of the fucking road!
Sorry. So sorry.
[SIGHS]
Cherry
[TIRES SCREECH]
Love you, too, asshole!
[TIRES SCREECH]
Oh, my God. That's her.
This is my chance.
This is my chance!
Hi. I was just about
to drop this off.
[GROANS]
[GASPS]
[CRIES OUT]
[GASPS]
[SIGHS]
I hate my stupid freckles.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
[CAT MEOWS]
[SIGHS]
[DOG BARKS]
[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYS]
Ah. Neat.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
[PHONE CHIMES]
[♪♪♪]
Wow.
VIK: All set there, Mr. Doone?
Uh, yeah. I-I think so.
We're gonna start with our
potential blockbuster.
This activated moisturizer
is designed to actually
sculpt your features in response
to your imagination.
Now, there's limits, of course,
but the idea is that
the outer you will finally
match the inner you
in the best possible way.
Just rub that
all over your face.
It's safe, right?
Now, Mr. Doone, we're not
legally allowed to say
you can trust us, but
[WHISPERS]
you can trust us.
Now, close your eyes and concentrate.
Imagine your face, but
the very best version of it.
Uh, okay. Sure.
VIK: Are you feeling anything?
It's a little warm, but
that's it-- Ah, oh. Ow.
Actually, it's Ooh. Wow.
It feels like little worms are
burrowing into my face.
That means it's working.
Keep going. Imagine harder.
Picture the face
you want to have.
- The life you want to have.
- [STRAINING]
I'm trying to, but this
really fucking hurts.
[CRYING OUT]
Holy shitballs.
- It works!
- Whoo! We did it!
How how long does it last?
A few days before you need
to reapply the cream,
but it's probably best to take
a break between doses, okay?
Here. Go easy, though.
[SINGSONGY]
It's still just a prototype.
Hello. Hello.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Hi there.
My name's Boyd.
Nice to please you.
I mean, oh Oh, fuck.
CHERRY: Go buy yourself
a new girlfriend. It's over!
[TIRES SCREECHING]
- [CRYING QUIETLY]
- Oh
Hi. I was just about
to drop this off.
- I'm Boyd. Boyd Doone. 3D.
- [GASPS]
And you are Cherry Synclaire
in 3G, obviously.
O-Oh, my goodness.
[CHUCKLES]
Obviously.
I can't believe you live
right next door
and we've never even met.
Well, why don't we meet, then?
[DUA LIPA: "LEVITATING"]
If you wanna run away
with me, I know a galaxy ♪
And I can take you
for a ride ♪
I had a premonition that
we fell into a rhythm ♪
Where the music don't stop
for life ♪
Glitter in the sky,
glitter in my eyes ♪
Shining just the way I like ♪
If you're feeling like you
need a little bit of company ♪
You met me at
the perfect time ♪
You want me,
I want you, baby ♪
My sugarboo, I'm levitating ♪
The Milky Way,
we're renegading ♪
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
I got you, moonlight ♪
You're my starlight ♪
I need you all night,
come on, dance with me ♪
I'm levitating,
you, moonlight ♪
You're my starlight,
I need you ♪♪
- Ah
- Grr [GIGGLES]
[BOTH LAUGHING, MOANING]
Mwah.
BOYD: God, you're so fucking hot.
[BOTH MOANING]
CHERRY: Oh, yeah.
- [PASSIONATE MOANING]
- [BED SQUEAKING]
- [BOTH CRY OUT IN UNISON]
- [LOUD THUD]
[SIGHING]
Mm.
[SIGHS]
Hmm.
[SIGHS SLEEPILY]
Ah
Yes! Wha?
[GASPS]
Huh? Wha Ah.
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
[INHALES SHARPLY]
Ahh.
[CHUCKLES]
[SINGSONGY]
Good morning.
[INHALES, PURRS]
What the fuck?!
You Y-Y-You look like
a cat person!
I-I thought it was just
moisturizer, so I
- Shit! Shit, shit, shit. I should've told you.
- Boyd.
- It's an experimental cream from a trial at Vought.
- Boyd.
Jesus Christ, I'm so
sorry. Shit
Boyd! It's okay.
- I love it.
- You love it?
You have whiskers.
I know. Aren't they great?
Seriously, this is who
I've always wanted to be.
A pussycat.
[MEOWS]
- [GASPS]
- [MOANING]
Do you like it?
[PURRS, GIGGLES]
[BOTH MOANING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[BOYD AND CHERRY LAUGHING]
CHERRY: Stop.
Hi. What'll it be?
- BOYD: Two coffees, please.
- [GASPS]
Two extra-hot coffees coming right up.
Uh
Hi?
- WOMAN: Hey.
- [CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING]
Me-ow. Seems like we're
the new hot thing.
What's that mean?
- Let's find out. [PURRS]
- [ALL TALK: "GIMME"]
- [EXCITED CHATTER, CHEERING]
- In it to win it ♪
I want it all ♪
Won't stop for nothing,
hustling, busting every wall ♪
I need that bling bling,
that V.I.P. ♪
That high-class rolling
every day, ca-ching, ca-ching ♪
Whoa! Ah.
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme ♪
Hey ♪
Gimme, gimme, gimme,
gimme this, gimme that ♪
Gimme, gimme, gimme,
gimme, hey ♪
Gimme, gimme, gimme this,
gimme me that ♪♪
There's nothing
like an afternoon
in the sun with you.
There's nothing like an
afternoon in the sun with you.
[PHONE CHIMING, VIBRATING]
Can you grab my phone?
Thank you.
[PHONES CHIMING, VIBRATING]
[FIVE KNIVES: "TAKE MY PICTURE"]
When I walk up in the place ♪
Light bulbs flashing
in my face ♪
Mirror, mirror on the wall ♪
You can't touch
this Russian doll ♪
[INDISTINCT CLAMORING]
A leather jacket
and torn-up jeans ♪
Brass knuckles
if you step to me ♪
This bitch right here's
the only shot you want ♪
Ain't going to be here long,
so turn the cameras on ♪
Strike like a cobra,
move like a geisha ♪
Every motherfucker
wanna take my picture ♪
Walk like a gangsta,
strut for the camera ♪
Every motherfucker
wanna take my picture ♪
Take my picture ♪
[LIVELY CHATTER]
Take my picture ♪
Take my picture ♪
Every motherfucker
wanna take my picture ♪♪
Your clear dependency on
Envision has forced us to do
some major damage control.
And your reckless behavior
is no longer on par
with Vought company standards.
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- You can't fire us!
Yes, we can. You signed
the contracts, dipshits.
[GROANS, GRUNTS]
[SIGHS]
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
What?
I always liked your freckles.
I got to pee.
[SIGHS]
What?
Don't you dare.
- [BOTH GRUNTING]
- [♪♪♪]
- No!
- No, no!
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Hey.
Hey.
CHERRY: 3D?
I know. I look terrible.
Cherry.
Don't hide them.
I see you, Boyd Doone.
- VIK: Mr. Doone? Boyd?
- [GROANING SOFTLY]
So
how much Compound V
did you put
Too much.
I-I put in too much.
[♪♪♪]
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
- [PANTING]
- [DISTANT SIREN WAILING]
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
[PELL: "QUESO"]
[CHIMES]
- [SIGHS, YELPS]
- [DOGS BARKING]
I got that moolah,
moolah, moolah ♪
Queso, queso, queso ♪
Camouflage money, they can't ♪
See my bankroll, nah ♪
I been whipping,
whipping, whip, ya ♪
Django, Django,
Django, Django ♪
Smooth ass ,
blame it on the Jame-O ♪
I really don't know
why I called ♪
Why you call her? ♪
I said I really don't know ♪
Why I called ♪
Why you call her? ♪
I said I really don't know ♪♪
- [HORN HONKS]
- Whoa! Geez.
Get out of the fucking road!
Sorry. So sorry.
[SIGHS]
Cherry
[TIRES SCREECH]
Love you, too, asshole!
[TIRES SCREECH]
Oh, my God. That's her.
This is my chance.
This is my chance!
Hi. I was just about
to drop this off.
[GROANS]
[GASPS]
[CRIES OUT]
[GASPS]
[SIGHS]
I hate my stupid freckles.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
[CAT MEOWS]
[SIGHS]
[DOG BARKS]
[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYS]
Ah. Neat.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
[PHONE CHIMES]
[♪♪♪]
Wow.
VIK: All set there, Mr. Doone?
Uh, yeah. I-I think so.
We're gonna start with our
potential blockbuster.
This activated moisturizer
is designed to actually
sculpt your features in response
to your imagination.
Now, there's limits, of course,
but the idea is that
the outer you will finally
match the inner you
in the best possible way.
Just rub that
all over your face.
It's safe, right?
Now, Mr. Doone, we're not
legally allowed to say
you can trust us, but
[WHISPERS]
you can trust us.
Now, close your eyes and concentrate.
Imagine your face, but
the very best version of it.
Uh, okay. Sure.
VIK: Are you feeling anything?
It's a little warm, but
that's it-- Ah, oh. Ow.
Actually, it's Ooh. Wow.
It feels like little worms are
burrowing into my face.
That means it's working.
Keep going. Imagine harder.
Picture the face
you want to have.
- The life you want to have.
- [STRAINING]
I'm trying to, but this
really fucking hurts.
[CRYING OUT]
Holy shitballs.
- It works!
- Whoo! We did it!
How how long does it last?
A few days before you need
to reapply the cream,
but it's probably best to take
a break between doses, okay?
Here. Go easy, though.
[SINGSONGY]
It's still just a prototype.
Hello. Hello.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Hi there.
My name's Boyd.
Nice to please you.
I mean, oh Oh, fuck.
CHERRY: Go buy yourself
a new girlfriend. It's over!
[TIRES SCREECHING]
- [CRYING QUIETLY]
- Oh
Hi. I was just about
to drop this off.
- I'm Boyd. Boyd Doone. 3D.
- [GASPS]
And you are Cherry Synclaire
in 3G, obviously.
O-Oh, my goodness.
[CHUCKLES]
Obviously.
I can't believe you live
right next door
and we've never even met.
Well, why don't we meet, then?
[DUA LIPA: "LEVITATING"]
If you wanna run away
with me, I know a galaxy ♪
And I can take you
for a ride ♪
I had a premonition that
we fell into a rhythm ♪
Where the music don't stop
for life ♪
Glitter in the sky,
glitter in my eyes ♪
Shining just the way I like ♪
If you're feeling like you
need a little bit of company ♪
You met me at
the perfect time ♪
You want me,
I want you, baby ♪
My sugarboo, I'm levitating ♪
The Milky Way,
we're renegading ♪
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
I got you, moonlight ♪
You're my starlight ♪
I need you all night,
come on, dance with me ♪
I'm levitating,
you, moonlight ♪
You're my starlight,
I need you ♪♪
- Ah
- Grr [GIGGLES]
[BOTH LAUGHING, MOANING]
Mwah.
BOYD: God, you're so fucking hot.
[BOTH MOANING]
CHERRY: Oh, yeah.
- [PASSIONATE MOANING]
- [BED SQUEAKING]
- [BOTH CRY OUT IN UNISON]
- [LOUD THUD]
[SIGHING]
Mm.
[SIGHS]
Hmm.
[SIGHS SLEEPILY]
Ah
Yes! Wha?
[GASPS]
Huh? Wha Ah.
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
[INHALES SHARPLY]
Ahh.
[CHUCKLES]
[SINGSONGY]
Good morning.
[INHALES, PURRS]
What the fuck?!
You Y-Y-You look like
a cat person!
I-I thought it was just
moisturizer, so I
- Shit! Shit, shit, shit. I should've told you.
- Boyd.
- It's an experimental cream from a trial at Vought.
- Boyd.
Jesus Christ, I'm so
sorry. Shit
Boyd! It's okay.
- I love it.
- You love it?
You have whiskers.
I know. Aren't they great?
Seriously, this is who
I've always wanted to be.
A pussycat.
[MEOWS]
- [GASPS]
- [MOANING]
Do you like it?
[PURRS, GIGGLES]
[BOTH MOANING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[BOYD AND CHERRY LAUGHING]
CHERRY: Stop.
Hi. What'll it be?
- BOYD: Two coffees, please.
- [GASPS]
Two extra-hot coffees coming right up.
Uh
Hi?
- WOMAN: Hey.
- [CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING]
Me-ow. Seems like we're
the new hot thing.
What's that mean?
- Let's find out. [PURRS]
- [ALL TALK: "GIMME"]
- [EXCITED CHATTER, CHEERING]
- In it to win it ♪
I want it all ♪
Won't stop for nothing,
hustling, busting every wall ♪
I need that bling bling,
that V.I.P. ♪
That high-class rolling
every day, ca-ching, ca-ching ♪
Whoa! Ah.
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme ♪
Hey ♪
Gimme, gimme, gimme,
gimme this, gimme that ♪
Gimme, gimme, gimme,
gimme, hey ♪
Gimme, gimme, gimme this,
gimme me that ♪♪
There's nothing
like an afternoon
in the sun with you.
There's nothing like an
afternoon in the sun with you.
[PHONE CHIMING, VIBRATING]
Can you grab my phone?
Thank you.
[PHONES CHIMING, VIBRATING]
[FIVE KNIVES: "TAKE MY PICTURE"]
When I walk up in the place ♪
Light bulbs flashing
in my face ♪
Mirror, mirror on the wall ♪
You can't touch
this Russian doll ♪
[INDISTINCT CLAMORING]
A leather jacket
and torn-up jeans ♪
Brass knuckles
if you step to me ♪
This bitch right here's
the only shot you want ♪
Ain't going to be here long,
so turn the cameras on ♪
Strike like a cobra,
move like a geisha ♪
Every motherfucker
wanna take my picture ♪
Walk like a gangsta,
strut for the camera ♪
Every motherfucker
wanna take my picture ♪
Take my picture ♪
[LIVELY CHATTER]
Take my picture ♪
Take my picture ♪
Every motherfucker
wanna take my picture ♪♪
Your clear dependency on
Envision has forced us to do
some major damage control.
And your reckless behavior
is no longer on par
with Vought company standards.
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- You can't fire us!
Yes, we can. You signed
the contracts, dipshits.
[GROANS, GRUNTS]
[SIGHS]
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
What?
I always liked your freckles.
I got to pee.
[SIGHS]
What?
Don't you dare.
- [BOTH GRUNTING]
- [♪♪♪]
- No!
- No, no!
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Hey.
Hey.
CHERRY: 3D?
I know. I look terrible.
Cherry.
Don't hide them.
I see you, Boyd Doone.
- VIK: Mr. Doone? Boyd?
- [GROANING SOFTLY]
So
how much Compound V
did you put
Too much.
I-I put in too much.
[♪♪♪]
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]