The Curse (2023) s01e04 Episode Script
Under the Big Three
1
♪
[ASHER] They forgot the
chicken in the chicken penne.
What was the dinner that
you took the chicken from?
Chicken spaghetti.
You think that girl could have been
- going through our trash?
- What?
- Hi, Vic.
- Home sweet home.
[DOUGIE] Right here, pause it. Pause it.
Look at how uncomfortable he is.
I thought about going back to New York,
but there's nothing
for me there, anyways.
I'm just not any good when
I'm not working, you know.
Hola, Fernando.
We were thinking because the stores
are closed right now, we
might need some security.
Wait. What what
did they just laugh at?
Fernando fucking up a
latte. It's the only laugh.
[ASHER] Our entire livelihood
is based on the fact
that you said they're probably
gonna pick up the series.
Yeah, I know. But that
was before I saw this.
He wasn't funny at all.
Well, this is wack.
[PHONE VIBRATING, RINGING]
[RINGING STOPS]
[PHONE VIBRATING, RINGING]
[GRUNTING]
Good morning, Martha!
[MARTHA] Well, you're a
hard guy to get ahold of.
Uh, yeah. I'm sorry about that.
I was just trying to find
the phone. That's all.
[MARTHA] Well, you did it, Dougie.
You did it.
I did.
I did, didn't I?
So, David finally got
his eyes on the show
and, um, he loves it.
We're officially ordering
ten episodes of Fliplanthropy
- Well, that's
- [MARTHA] for HGTV Go!
That is such great news, Martha.
- And I know you're not gonna
- [PHONE BEEPS]
Fuck!
Come on.
What the fuck?
Come on.
Fuck!
[GRUNTS]
♪
Yo.
Yo.
Motherfucker.
Under the big tree.
The big tree, I don't know what the fuck
that means, but
All right. Let's try you.
Okay.
Nope.
Let's see.
All right.
Number two.
Second time is the charm,
or so they say, right?
[SOFT CHUCKLE] There it is.
All right.
[YELLS] Jesus Christ!
Get out of here!
Get the fuck out of here, all right?
Go.
Come on.
Let me take this, move this here.
All right.
You stay.
This place is fucking disgusting.
All right.
Under the big tree, right?
Under.
All right, let's go.
How deep? How deep? There is deep.
♪
Come on.
Really?
Come on. Nothing?
[EXHALES]
Come on.
Come on, Dougie.
Come on.
Think.
Big tree. Big tree.
Big tree.
[SOFT CHUCKLE]
No fucking way.
[LAUGHS]
Of course. Dougie, there's a reason
you're a fucking genius, right?
[CHUCKLES]
This is good.
This is all very good.
All right.
Under.
[CAR HORN BLARES]
It's me.
[CAR LOCK CHIRPS]
[CAR HORN BLARES]
Okay.
Let's see.
Kalvin, 8:30.
Wyatt, 8:45.
Kalvin and Wyatt.
♪
[MARTHA] You guys just
have such a thoughtful take
on eco-friendly homes and integrating
your buyers into the communit.
We have nothing like this.
I mean, we're just so excited
to be working with you.
You you have believed
in us from the very start.
And we could not be more excited
to be in business with you.
I I'm sorry. You
should see Asher right now.
He is literally pretending
to play a guitar.
- [LAUGHS]
- [MARTHA] We love that.
I hope to see more of it on the show.
Oh. You'll see more of a lot of stuff.
All G-rated, of course.
[MARTHA CHUCKLES] I would hope so.
And as we move forward
thinking about the season,
maybe also we aren't focusing so much
on the people who lived
in the homes before.
We love Fernando and
his mother, so sweet.
And we think it might
be more digestible
and exciting to portray them as people
you're you're
helping in the community
without pointing out
they've been displaced
by your development or,
or development in general.
But but we don't need
to get into the weeds
with that stuff right now.
It's not something our
viewers wanna engage with.
So, we're excited about that.
That is so exciting.
- That's so exciting.
- [MARTHA] Mm-hmm.
Wow, I can't believe
this is happening to me.
This is Oh.
[MARTHA] We'll set a
Zoom with the whole team
to talk more, but we wanted
to give you the headline.
So, congratulations.
Oh. Thank you so much, Martha.
- This is this is really big.
- [PHONE BEEPS]
Spank you.
Spank you very much.
[PHONE BEEPS]
Hello. So sorry. Hello? Hello?
- [MARTHA] Hello.
- Hi. Sorry.
I think you cut out
for a second. I'm sorry.
Just thank you thank you so much.
And, um, we will
work on Asher's air guitar for the show.
[MARTHA] Fantastic. Congrats.
- Thank you.
- [MARTHA] Okay.
- Okay.
- [MARTHA] Bye-bye.
We'll talk to you soon. Bye.
Ugh.
Did you hear that stuff
that she was saying
- about the displaced residents?
- Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, I thought people
really liked that stuff.
- Yeah, they did. Yeah.
- They responded to it.
But it's it's it's Whatever.
- It's fine. It's fine.
- Yeah.
Right? Because it's not
gonna change what we do
in our real life, obviously.
Of course not, no.
- Okay.
- Yeah. Who gives a shit?
Honestly, like, not everything
has to be in the show, you know, like
Right.
And I think just having a show
is bringing awareness to the area
on these issues, you know?
And maybe it's actually good
because then we can
really feature the homes
and we can, like, push
the environmental aspect
- which is
- Exactly. Yeah. Yeah.
- Well, how we started out.
- Yeah.
And the and the community is still
gonna be a part of it, obviously.
- That's never gonna change, ever.
- No.
- Yeah. All right.
- You know,
I wonder if we should delay
listing Juniper Lane
until after the show airs.
I bet we could ask way more for it.
I'm gonna text Ed.
Um, I was talking Oh, sorry.
- Are you in the middle ?
- No.
Okay. I was just gonna say
I was I was talking to Wendy,
um, and her brother, I
guess, did this corporate
comedy class or something and
and she said that he
found it super beneficial.
- Oh, yeah?
- [WHITNEY] Yeah.
I was just thinking
maybe something like that
would be interesting for you
just so you could feel more confident
in front of the camera, you
know, just because you're
you're so confident
and funny off camera.
Well, if I'm already so funny,
it's just a waste of money then, right?
Yeah.
I mean, but, you know, the focus group,
what they said and maybe I know,
but I just I just want
them to see what I see.
Are you gonna take the classes too?
[LAUGHS]
Maybe. Yeah.
[DOORBELL CHIMES]
Oh, my God.
Do you think that's a
gift from the network?
Go, go, go, go.
It has to be, but
- [MARIA] Hi.
- Hi.
It's Maria, from two blocks over.
Oh, of course. Uh, Maria, hi.
It's Maria, Whit, from two blocks over.
- [MARIA] Hi.
- Good to see you. How are you?
Hi, Maria. How are you?
Good. Uh, I'm very sorry to bother you,
but I thought you
would like to know, um,
the young man who bought
your home on Montana Vista
- Mm-hmm.
- is distributing these notes
to people on the block.
He's accusing us, uh,
all of the neighbors,
of stealing his packages.
[WHITNEY] What, uh
"I wanna alert everyone
that there's a package
thief in the neighborhood.
This is the third time
it's happened to me.
If it's one of you
that's been doing this,
I understand it might
be an honest mistake.
And if it is returned, there
will be no hard feelings
or consequences.
Thank you. Your new neighbor, Victor."
I I I'm so sorry, Maria.
I will go talk to him immediately.
It's just that you assured
us that the people you brought
into this neighborhood would be
in harmony with the community.
- Yes.
- And those exact words.
And we don't know anything
about his packages.
[WHITNEY] Of course not.
We will handle this,
Maria. I I promise you.
I'm so sorry this happened.
- Thank you again.
- [AUTOMATED WOMAN VOICE] Hi.
- You are currently being recorded.
- Have a good day.
It's nice to see you.
It's just the the door.
We don't look at the footage from that.
Can you believe that?
- Are are you gonna
- Yes.
Are you gonna talk to him?
[WHITNEY] Of course.
I was thinking, um, you know,
once we close on Palmer Lane,
we're gonna have some extra cash.
I should probably pull the trigger
on that augmented reality guy, right?
It'd be amazing if he could
do a mockup of Loma Vista
that we could feature in the show.
Yeah. Do we do we have
to talk about this now?
Sweetie, I can't find
my hat and I feel like
- It's just that
- it was in here somewhere.
It's just that our contact, you know
- [WHITNEY] Oh.
- for him is through Vic.
And we're getting a significant
discount because of that.
- Mm-hmm.
- So, you know,
I don't know what you're
planning on saying to him,
but, you know, I just don't
wanna lose the discount.
Relax. I'm not gonna
punch him in the face.
There are tons of people
who do AR, by the way.
I know. This guy is just
really good at incorporating
- natural light and
- Sure. Yeah.
- Yup, yup.
- The discount is significant.
- Yeah.
- Um, I mean,
also I think it would be a great way
to premiere your new design.
I love you.
I love you.
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
♪
Hi, Angelica.
[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
Canelo. Canelo.
- Canelo. Canelo.
- [MAN SPEAKING SPANISH]
Come here. Come here.
- [MAN 1] Okay.
- [SPEAKING SPANISH]
We live at the end of the block.
- Bye-bye.
- I don't think I met you yet.
I met your wife, Barbara.
- Oh, yes.
- What's your name?
- Leo.
- Leo. Nice to meet you.
Oh.
Say hi to Barbara.
- I will.
- It's such a beautiful day.
So nice.
Bye, buddy.
[MAN SPEAKING SPANISH]
[MAN SPEAKING ON TV] The big news
that is completely
being ignored
is what's happening
in gold stocks and in gold.
I mean, today, the GDX index
of gold miners
hit a new high for the year.
In fact, it's at a new seven-year high
and if you look at how much
the index has moved
up since its March low
of about a month ago,
The index has now doubled.
So gold stocks
have doubled in price
in a month.
Now, granted they
doubled from a price that
was low because they went down
♪
[DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE]
[BELL JINGLES]
[VIC] Oh. Hey, Whitney.
- What's poppin'?
- [WHITNEY] Hi, Vic.
Um, I was just strolling
in the neighborhood
and I thought I'd check in.
Um Oh!
We we haven't told you yet.
Our show got picked up to series.
- [VIC] Oh, congrats.
- [WHITNEY] Yeah.
- It's very exciting.
- [VIC] You don't need me
for anything else, do you?
[WHITNEY] No, no.
Not if you don't want to. No.
[VIC] Yeah, I'd prefer maybe no.
- [WHITNEY] Hmm.
- [VIC] Just wanna get settle in.
[WHITNEY] We can talk about it later.
Um, I noticed the
induction stove out there.
[VIC] Uh, yeah, I swapped
it out for a gas one.
- I do a lot of stir fry.
- [WHITNEY] Mmm.
You know, with a gas unit,
this house no longer
qualifies as passive.
Ah, I didn't know that.
So you're venting the
air then to the outside?
The home is its own ecosystem.
It's not designed for a gas stove.
Well, I figured since it's my home,
I just wanna make it how I love it.
Yes, I am venting.
Okay, good. So I, um, I heard
that you're having an issue
with packages going missing?
Yeah, three of them.
I feel very welcome here.
I think everyone is
just doing their best.
And I know a lot of the neighbors
share your concerns.
Then why are they stealing them?
And I really I
I think you're handling it very well
because you're alerting the neighborhood
and you're not calling the police.
- Right?
- I haven't yet, no.
[WHITNEY] Hmm.
That's good because
there's really no reason
to do something like that
over something like this.
I mean, Amazon is not
gonna charge you, obviously.
It was an Alienware computer.
It didn't come from Amazon,
and they're not giving me a refund
because they said it was delivered.
- So
- [WHITNEY] Mm-hmm.
I would just think about the language
that you're using
to alert the community
because it could be
misinterpreted as an accusation.
You know what I mean?
Um, okay, well, uh,
it's good to see you.
- Yeah.
- Have a good day.
I gotta look up that Alienware stuff.
- That's so cool.
- Yeah.
I guess you really can learn
some things from your neighbors, huh?
- Mm-hmm. Okay.
- Have a good day, Vic.
Yeah. Bye, Whitney.
Bye-bye.
♪
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[PHONE VIBRATING]
- Hey. How did it go?
- [WHITNEY, OVER PHONE] Hi.
Uh, Vic threw out his induction range
and he replaced it with a gas stove.
- That's crazy.
- [WHITNEY] Yeah.
There has to be some type of clause
that you can put in the contract
that prevents buyers from ruining
the passive home certification.
- There has to be.
- I just don't think
you can put anything
in a purchase agreement
that prevents people
from making changes
after we close. I mean
- [WHITNEY SIGHS] But we
- We can try to,
you know, encourage
that behavior, but
Then we need to be more discerning
about who we're selling these homes to.
People like Vic just do not deserve
to be part of what we're building.
But it ended okay, right?
[WHITNEY] His his nose
is broken, but he'll live.
- Yeah.
- [ASHER CHUCKLES]
Don't worry. We'll
we'll we'll find
the right people for this.
I I promise, okay, babe?
- For real.
- This is real now, you know?
It's gonna be a lot of eyes on Española
and on us.
Oh, my God, he didn't
even try to sell the range.
He just threw it out.
Fucking stir fry.
- Oh, my God, the privilege.
- [SIGHS]
It's a $7,000 range.
[WHITNEY] Yeah, I know.
And he and he put it
right next to the recycling bin
which I thought was hilarious.
Like, "Oh, he recycles."
Is it damaged?
[WHITNEY] No, it's
in perfect condition.
It's just sitting next to
a bunch of garbage bins.
Oh, God.
Anyway, all right, I'll be home soon.
- Okay.
- [WHITNEY] Okay, bye.
Okay, bye. Love you.
["LIKE AN EAGLE BY DENNIS
PARKER PLAYS OVER RADIO]
Like an eagle, like an eagle ♪
In the city, in the city ♪
Fly high ♪
Hunting nightly, hunting nightly ♪
I search, I search ♪
Through the city, through the city ♪
Like an eagle, like an eagle ♪
Always hungry, always wanting ♪
Night, light ♪
- [SONG STOPS]
- [DOUGIE GROANS]
[INTERCOM BEEPS]
- [HOUSEMAID] Hello.
- Hello.
Yes, sorry to bother you
but, um, I have some car keys here.
And I'm wondering if somebody
here owns a big Mercedes.
[HOUSEMAID] Oh, okay.
[KALVIN] I got it!
What the fuck, man? You said 8:30.
I'm here, aren't I?
[KALVIN] Did you bring my car?
- [WOMAN] Kalvin!
- No.
- Give me the keys, quick.
- Kalvin, where is your car?
- Kalvin?
- Don't worry, Mom, I got it.
- It's just a delivery.
- [WOMAN] Who is this man?
He's an Uber messenger.
[WOMAN] Are you an Uber messenger?
Yes.
[WOMAN] Okay. You know what,
if somebody doesn't tell me
what's going on right now,
I'm calling the police.
Kalvin!
I don't know, Mom.
He he came to our school
and started lecturing us outside
about how his wife died drunk driving
and then he tried to buy us
beer to teach us a lesson.
You bought my son beer?
Yes, I did, um, but they were asking me
to buy them beer outside
of the liquor store.
No, we didn't.
You did.
You were asking everyone who went inside
if they would buy it for you.
And and the only reason that I did it
was to supervise them, okay?
And I made sure that they
gave me all of their car keys
before I bought them the
beer. Look, look, look.
How else would I have this, huh?
Kalvin and your address.
There it is right there.
Huh?
So you bought my son alcohol?
You're lucky I was the
one who bought him alcohol,
you know that? You're
lucky because otherwise
he'd might be dead in a ditch somewhere.
Dude, you stole my
car and bought me beer.
I'm a I'm a minor.
Such a baby. Sorry.
Look, you can go crime
for crime if you want,
all right, because I don't care.
My life's over essentially.
Anyways, he looks like a young man,
young boy who wants to
go to college, right?
I don't think I don't think a college
is gonna want a
criminal record on there,
all right? So you think about that
because the only school he's
gonna be able to get into
is Albuquerque Community
College, all right?
I hear they have a good janitor program.
Kalvin, do you know where
your car is? Answer me.
Cleaning up shit for the rest
of his life. Excuse my language.
- Do you know where your car is?
- Yes.
- Thank you. Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Please, leave.
- I appreciate the thank you
- but you're welcome.
- Thank you.
I'd like a thank you from him, please.
- [KALVIN] Thank you.
- You're welcome.
All right. But my morning
is already ruined, okay?
Believe it or not, I have a job to do.
I'm a TV producer.
Okay? And my show just got picked up
for ten episodes to series.
Spoiled brat.
♪
[HORN HONKS]
- [ASHER] Hi, Abshir.
- [ABSHIR] Hello.
- [ASHER] How are you?
- Good.
Good? I got some, uh,
goodies from the pantry for you.
Oh, I get so much food
from the grocery store, but thanks.
Yeah. And Whitney got some supplements
- for your neck pain.
- Yeah.
So that's in here, too.
Um, I, uh, I do have to, uh,
come in to do a mold test.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah, it won't be long at all.
You have to?
As the owner of the property,
if there is mold, you know,
that's a liability for me,
so I do need to do it.
Or else you could sue me.
- I'm not gonna sue you.
- No, no, I know you won't sue me,
but you could.
So, um
- [ABSHIR] Okay.
- Yeah, but I won't be long.
- Is that all right?
- Yeah, all right.
- More goodies here.
- Okay.
Do you like these beet chips?
You guys eat a lot of pasta?
Not me. She loves it.
[ASHER] Oh, yeah?
Nala, what's your
favorite kind of pasta?
Spaghetti.
Spaghetti?
Do you like penne?
What's penne?
That's macaroni.
Kinda gross, huh? [CHUCKLES]
- [HANI] Yeah.
- Yucky.
[HANI] How does that work?
How does this work?
I'm taking a sample with this Q-tip
of all the gucky stuff
and this is gonna go off to the lab
and then they're gonna
tell us in a week or so
if there's anything bad
in there or if it's fine.
Pretty neat, huh?
You like science?
- Yes.
- [ASHER] Okay.
Do you know what this is called?
A Petri dish.
So, we have to take the lid off
and then we're going to
leave it just over here,
so it sits right here
and it has to stay for 48 hours.
And then it's gonna test
the air for, um, contaminants.
And then maybe once we got the results,
you can bring it into
school and you can say
Uncle Asher helped you make it,
if you want.
Pretty cool, huh?
Oh, I watched, uh, some
of those Tiny Curse videos.
They're pretty cool.
I saw one where a kid's homework
disappeared and then turned into a DVD
of the show 60 Minutes.
So that's a real curse.
What's 60 Minutes?
Um, it's a news magazine.
Um
It's a show for us old
old geezers like me.
[IN DEEP VOICE] Oh, oh, I'm so old.
- That's not funny.
- Hi, I'm old.
[HANI] Ha-ha, you're so funny.
You don't find this funny?
- [HANI] No.
- [NALA] Hey,
you should let me paint your nails.
[ASHER, IN NORMAL VOICE]
Okay. You wanna paint my nails?
- [NALA] Mm-hmm.
- [ASHER] I'd love that.
Wait, did you do it on yourself?
[NALA] Yes.
[ASHER] Just one nail.
[NALA] Hmm, I could just have one.
Okay. Which one are
you gonna start with?
- [NALA] This one.
- I'd like to show you something.
Okay. Right now?
Yeah.
Can you please, let's
just stop discussing curses
- anywhere around here.
- Oh, it's a TikTok trend.
She told me it's a TikTok trend.
I know it's a trend, but it's
I had to work very hard for
her to stop talking about it.
And where I'm from, we
don't play with that.
Just so, please, just stop it.
Of course, of course. Um
[ABSHIR] Yeah.
Do you mind if I ask where you're from?
Uh, Minnesota.
- Minnesota. Okay.
- [ABSHIR] Hmm.
And
you, um
your culture, you believe in,
um, curses or, uh
- No, no, no.
- Oh, okay.
But if you put an idea in your head,
it can become very real.
And she's she's just a young girl.
- Of course. Yeah, yeah.
- You know?
Just I want it to be stopped.
No, of course, yes. No problem.
Yeah. We appreciate
everything you're doing,
but just keep that at it.
Just thanks.
Of course. Oh, you wanted to show me
- something in here?
- Oh, it's nothing.
♪
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS OVER STEREO]
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
Make sure not to catch
yourself in the reflection.
Shoot from an angle.
Okay.
Do you, um
You spoke to Fernando yesterday, right?
Yeah. He's really nice.
We actually talked for a long time.
Great. Uh, did you see his belt?
Um, he he still has it.
Did you tell him not to bring it?
I talked to him about it
but he didn't really answer
me when I asked him, so
Did you say that it
makes us uncomfortable?
I said that it made you uncomfortable.
Do you want me to talk to him again?
That would be great.
Yeah, if you don't mind.
[WHITNEY] The coffee shop's
reopening soon anyway,
so we don't even need him
doing security anymore.
Yeah. Thanks so much.
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[MUFFLED CONVERSATION]
Okay, cool. Let me know.
Thank you. All right.
Hello?
[LUISA] I told him not to bring the
gun anymore and he said, "Okay."
♪
Is he getting in his car?
He's getting in right now.
♪
[CAR DOOR CLOSES]
[CAR ENGINE STARTS]
- Okay. Let's go.
- [ENGINE STARTS]
Wait, wait, wait. Wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
- Wait, wait, wait.
- [ENGINE STOPS]
I can't be seen in his security camera.
Um, here, let me get
out and you can do it,
and I'll meet you
around the corner, okay?
- [DOOR THUDS]
- Oh, fuck.
Sorry, sorry, I dented it.
You're against a wall. It's fine.
There's probably no scratch there.
Just back up so I can get out.
That won't be easy for me to do, boss.
These things are heavy.
- Besides, it's garbage.
- It's
Who cares if we're taking it?
It's unprofessional to be
seen on camera taking it.
Here, just back up so I can get out.
[SIGHS]
Just duck down in the back.
♪
[ENGINE STARTS]
[ENGINE STOPS]
[GRUNTS]
I can't do this alone.
Can I get your help?
Come on, man. You're
fucking jacked. You got this.
You can do it. You
can do it on your own.
Trust me.
It fell.
Oh, goddamn it, Freckle.
Just leave it, let's go.
Let me put it back on the curb.
[ASHER] Just leave it.
It's fine. Just leave it.
Oh, gosh.
Go, go. Come on, Freckle.
Hurry up.
[ENGINE STARTS]
See, it's tough.
The whole show is
integrating the two buyers
into the community, so
I know, but Whitney
doesn't wanna use Vic
for anything beyond the pilot.
And that's, like, for sure, for sure.
So, can you do it with
our Palmer Lane buyers,
Dennis and Lucinda?
[DOUGIE] Yeah. I guess so.
I just thought Vic would be pretty funny
because, um, he's single.
So, him at a fiesta would
be kind of [CHUCKLES]
I mean, he was also racist
to the entire neighborhood,
so I don't think we can use him.
Come on. That's the kind of stuff
I want in the show, man.
Racism?
No, but, like, conflict.
I'm sure you can make,
uh, with your skills,
Dennis and Lucinda
seem racist, too, so
- [SCOFFS]
- I'm obviously joking.
[DOUGIE] Don't tempt me there.
All right. Fine. No Vic.
Look at us, huh?
Making a TV show.
[SCOFFS] Yeah.
[DOUGIE] Boys are back.
Asher and Big D back on the lake.
[SCOFFS] Back on the lake.
Look, man
[EXHALES SHARPLY] I
just wanna say I'm sorry,
you know, for bullying you
all those years at camp.
You never bullied me.
There was the time at Sports World
where we ditched you and the
pantsing at the swim meet.
Uh, we were just joking around.
Yeah, right?
- [ASHER] Yeah.
- It was fun.
All right. Look, the point I
was trying to make about Vic was
just because Whitney has a moral issue
with something that's happening,
we just toss it away?
Come on. You know our show
barely got picked up, right?
- Really? The show?
- [DOUGIE] Yeah. Yes.
The pilot could have been so good.
You had you with the reporter, right?
Chasing her around, the
little girl cursing you,
the yogurt argument, all that stuff,
we're letting them go,
throwing them in the trash.
You know how hard it
is to get that stuff?
I don't know.
I'm just trying to protect
what we've got here.
And you know Whitney better than me,
so, what can we do about it, right?
[ASHER] Yeah. Well
my only advice would
be to get used to it
'cause she's not gonna change.
[DOUGIE] Oh, great.
What is this stuff?
Oh, Stars and Stripes.
Two-and-a-half-liter bottle.
Local cola,
about a dollar-ish.
Maybe buck twenty-five, dollar-thirty,
depending on where you shop.
It's kind of crazy actually.
The girl that did that curse thing
she was actually living in
one of the houses we bought.
[DOUGIE] That's crazy.
Here. Let me have one.
What do you think of this jacket?
- Good?
- [ASHER] Nice, yeah.
I can pull it off.
Seventeen hundred bucks.
[CHUCKLES] It's a lot. Yeah, it's nice.
[DOUGIE] Cool.
It's actually kind of funny, I
so I said to her, the girl,
as like a joke, I was, like, "Oh,
what was the curse you did to me?"
And, uh
she told me
that she took the
chicken out of our pasta.
But the night she did that,
there's actually chicken
missing from our pasta.
We had a chicken pasta
from our delivery thing.
- [DOUGIE] Hmm.
- [ASHER] It's, like,
what are the odds?
So she she said that
and then that happened, huh?
[ASHER] Yeah.
Well, it happened before.
But I guess she thought
it I don't know.
What is it?
Let me show you something. Come here.
- [ASHER] Can I sit?
- [DOUGIE] Yeah, yeah.
Here, watch this.
[GIRL, ON VIDEO] I curse you.
[ASHER, ON VIDEO] [LAUGHS] Okay. Okay.
- I'm gonna go get okay?
- You hear that?
[ASHER, ON VIDEO] So I'll
be right just stay here.
I'm getting change.
I curse you.
[LAUGHS] Okay.
Okay. I'm gonna go get okay?
- [ASHER] The static?
- Yeah.
Yeah. Right after she
said, "I curse you,"
it went [IMITATES STATIC SOUND]
Isn't that just interference,
though, from the distance?
Because I was far away from you guys.
[SIGHS]
Look, I'm debating whether I
have to even tell you or not
but
[ASHER] What?
[SIGHS]
I was cursed.
[LAUGHS]
[DOUGIE] I'm serious.
What? Wait, by who?
I don't know.
There's nobody that in particular
that I can point to, but
there's no other way I can
explain what happened
[SIGHS] with, um, Melanie.
Oh. I thought I
thought it was an accident.
It was. It was, but
I happened to be drunk that night.
Nothing, nothing makes sense.
And then
I'm not I don't wanna talk
about this anymore, all right?
♪
[ASHER, ON VIDEO] Okay.
So I'll be right
just stay here.
I'm getting change.
Okay. Okay. I'm gonna go get okay?
So I'll be right just stay here.
I'm getting change.
♪
[CHIROPRACTOR] Breathe in and out.
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
Um, is it possible to pre-pay
for an appointment for someone else?
[CHIROPRACTOR] Yes. Absolutely.
Do they have insurance?
Let's assume not.
And then I'll just
cover the whole thing.
[SIKHS SINGING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE]
- Would you like to join us?
- Oh, that's okay.
- I could just watch.
- Okay.
[SINGING CONTINUES]
♪
♪
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
So with a younger workforce
coming into the corporate world,
ironically, there are
gonna be a lot more words
that we're gonna need to avoid.
But the good news is, sometimes,
uh, some of the funniest
jokes that we tell,
we don't even know why
we're laughing, right?
We don't even need words, right?
So what we're gonna do is
we're gonna go around the circle
and then we're gonna
try to see if we can make
the whole group laugh
not using any words, okay?
No words. So I'll go first.
- [ALL LAUGHING]
- Yeah? All right.
All right. Sarah, we're gonna
go you're gonna go next,
and then we're gonna go clockwise.
- [LAUGHING]
- [JEFF] That's great.
That's great.
- [LAUGHING]
- [JEFF] Uh-huh. Okay. Next.
[LAUGHING]
[JEFF] That's great,
that's hilarious, go ahead.
Don't worry about it. Everybody's here,
you know, we're supporting you.
No wrong choices, go ahead.
- Oh.
- [LAUGHING]
[JEFF] Hilarious. Okay, go ahead.
Yeah.
- [LAUGHING]
- [JEFF] That's great.
That's hilarious. Yeah.
[LAUGHING]
[JEFF] That's great, yeah. Next.
[GIBBERISH]
[JEFF] Uh, next.
[LAUGHING]
[JEFF] Okay. Go ahead.
[ALL LAUGHING]
[JEFF] Go ahead.
Yeah.
That's hilarious.
[ALL LAUGHING]
[JEFF] Great, yeah.
- [ALL LAUGHING]
Fuckin' comedy.
[ALL LAUGHING]
[ALL LAUGHING]
[ALL LAUGHING]
[ALL LAUGHING]
- [JEFF] Okay, last
- [ALL LAUGHING]
[JEFF] That's great, guys.
Good job, that's hilarious.
Give yourselves a round of applause.
- [ALL APPLAUDING]
- [JEFF] Good job, everybody.
Great.
♪
[ASHER] They forgot the
chicken in the chicken penne.
What was the dinner that
you took the chicken from?
Chicken spaghetti.
You think that girl could have been
- going through our trash?
- What?
- Hi, Vic.
- Home sweet home.
[DOUGIE] Right here, pause it. Pause it.
Look at how uncomfortable he is.
I thought about going back to New York,
but there's nothing
for me there, anyways.
I'm just not any good when
I'm not working, you know.
Hola, Fernando.
We were thinking because the stores
are closed right now, we
might need some security.
Wait. What what
did they just laugh at?
Fernando fucking up a
latte. It's the only laugh.
[ASHER] Our entire livelihood
is based on the fact
that you said they're probably
gonna pick up the series.
Yeah, I know. But that
was before I saw this.
He wasn't funny at all.
Well, this is wack.
[PHONE VIBRATING, RINGING]
[RINGING STOPS]
[PHONE VIBRATING, RINGING]
[GRUNTING]
Good morning, Martha!
[MARTHA] Well, you're a
hard guy to get ahold of.
Uh, yeah. I'm sorry about that.
I was just trying to find
the phone. That's all.
[MARTHA] Well, you did it, Dougie.
You did it.
I did.
I did, didn't I?
So, David finally got
his eyes on the show
and, um, he loves it.
We're officially ordering
ten episodes of Fliplanthropy
- Well, that's
- [MARTHA] for HGTV Go!
That is such great news, Martha.
- And I know you're not gonna
- [PHONE BEEPS]
Fuck!
Come on.
What the fuck?
Come on.
Fuck!
[GRUNTS]
♪
Yo.
Yo.
Motherfucker.
Under the big tree.
The big tree, I don't know what the fuck
that means, but
All right. Let's try you.
Okay.
Nope.
Let's see.
All right.
Number two.
Second time is the charm,
or so they say, right?
[SOFT CHUCKLE] There it is.
All right.
[YELLS] Jesus Christ!
Get out of here!
Get the fuck out of here, all right?
Go.
Come on.
Let me take this, move this here.
All right.
You stay.
This place is fucking disgusting.
All right.
Under the big tree, right?
Under.
All right, let's go.
How deep? How deep? There is deep.
♪
Come on.
Really?
Come on. Nothing?
[EXHALES]
Come on.
Come on, Dougie.
Come on.
Think.
Big tree. Big tree.
Big tree.
[SOFT CHUCKLE]
No fucking way.
[LAUGHS]
Of course. Dougie, there's a reason
you're a fucking genius, right?
[CHUCKLES]
This is good.
This is all very good.
All right.
Under.
[CAR HORN BLARES]
It's me.
[CAR LOCK CHIRPS]
[CAR HORN BLARES]
Okay.
Let's see.
Kalvin, 8:30.
Wyatt, 8:45.
Kalvin and Wyatt.
♪
[MARTHA] You guys just
have such a thoughtful take
on eco-friendly homes and integrating
your buyers into the communit.
We have nothing like this.
I mean, we're just so excited
to be working with you.
You you have believed
in us from the very start.
And we could not be more excited
to be in business with you.
I I'm sorry. You
should see Asher right now.
He is literally pretending
to play a guitar.
- [LAUGHS]
- [MARTHA] We love that.
I hope to see more of it on the show.
Oh. You'll see more of a lot of stuff.
All G-rated, of course.
[MARTHA CHUCKLES] I would hope so.
And as we move forward
thinking about the season,
maybe also we aren't focusing so much
on the people who lived
in the homes before.
We love Fernando and
his mother, so sweet.
And we think it might
be more digestible
and exciting to portray them as people
you're you're
helping in the community
without pointing out
they've been displaced
by your development or,
or development in general.
But but we don't need
to get into the weeds
with that stuff right now.
It's not something our
viewers wanna engage with.
So, we're excited about that.
That is so exciting.
- That's so exciting.
- [MARTHA] Mm-hmm.
Wow, I can't believe
this is happening to me.
This is Oh.
[MARTHA] We'll set a
Zoom with the whole team
to talk more, but we wanted
to give you the headline.
So, congratulations.
Oh. Thank you so much, Martha.
- This is this is really big.
- [PHONE BEEPS]
Spank you.
Spank you very much.
[PHONE BEEPS]
Hello. So sorry. Hello? Hello?
- [MARTHA] Hello.
- Hi. Sorry.
I think you cut out
for a second. I'm sorry.
Just thank you thank you so much.
And, um, we will
work on Asher's air guitar for the show.
[MARTHA] Fantastic. Congrats.
- Thank you.
- [MARTHA] Okay.
- Okay.
- [MARTHA] Bye-bye.
We'll talk to you soon. Bye.
Ugh.
Did you hear that stuff
that she was saying
- about the displaced residents?
- Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, I thought people
really liked that stuff.
- Yeah, they did. Yeah.
- They responded to it.
But it's it's it's Whatever.
- It's fine. It's fine.
- Yeah.
Right? Because it's not
gonna change what we do
in our real life, obviously.
Of course not, no.
- Okay.
- Yeah. Who gives a shit?
Honestly, like, not everything
has to be in the show, you know, like
Right.
And I think just having a show
is bringing awareness to the area
on these issues, you know?
And maybe it's actually good
because then we can
really feature the homes
and we can, like, push
the environmental aspect
- which is
- Exactly. Yeah. Yeah.
- Well, how we started out.
- Yeah.
And the and the community is still
gonna be a part of it, obviously.
- That's never gonna change, ever.
- No.
- Yeah. All right.
- You know,
I wonder if we should delay
listing Juniper Lane
until after the show airs.
I bet we could ask way more for it.
I'm gonna text Ed.
Um, I was talking Oh, sorry.
- Are you in the middle ?
- No.
Okay. I was just gonna say
I was I was talking to Wendy,
um, and her brother, I
guess, did this corporate
comedy class or something and
and she said that he
found it super beneficial.
- Oh, yeah?
- [WHITNEY] Yeah.
I was just thinking
maybe something like that
would be interesting for you
just so you could feel more confident
in front of the camera, you
know, just because you're
you're so confident
and funny off camera.
Well, if I'm already so funny,
it's just a waste of money then, right?
Yeah.
I mean, but, you know, the focus group,
what they said and maybe I know,
but I just I just want
them to see what I see.
Are you gonna take the classes too?
[LAUGHS]
Maybe. Yeah.
[DOORBELL CHIMES]
Oh, my God.
Do you think that's a
gift from the network?
Go, go, go, go.
It has to be, but
- [MARIA] Hi.
- Hi.
It's Maria, from two blocks over.
Oh, of course. Uh, Maria, hi.
It's Maria, Whit, from two blocks over.
- [MARIA] Hi.
- Good to see you. How are you?
Hi, Maria. How are you?
Good. Uh, I'm very sorry to bother you,
but I thought you
would like to know, um,
the young man who bought
your home on Montana Vista
- Mm-hmm.
- is distributing these notes
to people on the block.
He's accusing us, uh,
all of the neighbors,
of stealing his packages.
[WHITNEY] What, uh
"I wanna alert everyone
that there's a package
thief in the neighborhood.
This is the third time
it's happened to me.
If it's one of you
that's been doing this,
I understand it might
be an honest mistake.
And if it is returned, there
will be no hard feelings
or consequences.
Thank you. Your new neighbor, Victor."
I I I'm so sorry, Maria.
I will go talk to him immediately.
It's just that you assured
us that the people you brought
into this neighborhood would be
in harmony with the community.
- Yes.
- And those exact words.
And we don't know anything
about his packages.
[WHITNEY] Of course not.
We will handle this,
Maria. I I promise you.
I'm so sorry this happened.
- Thank you again.
- [AUTOMATED WOMAN VOICE] Hi.
- You are currently being recorded.
- Have a good day.
It's nice to see you.
It's just the the door.
We don't look at the footage from that.
Can you believe that?
- Are are you gonna
- Yes.
Are you gonna talk to him?
[WHITNEY] Of course.
I was thinking, um, you know,
once we close on Palmer Lane,
we're gonna have some extra cash.
I should probably pull the trigger
on that augmented reality guy, right?
It'd be amazing if he could
do a mockup of Loma Vista
that we could feature in the show.
Yeah. Do we do we have
to talk about this now?
Sweetie, I can't find
my hat and I feel like
- It's just that
- it was in here somewhere.
It's just that our contact, you know
- [WHITNEY] Oh.
- for him is through Vic.
And we're getting a significant
discount because of that.
- Mm-hmm.
- So, you know,
I don't know what you're
planning on saying to him,
but, you know, I just don't
wanna lose the discount.
Relax. I'm not gonna
punch him in the face.
There are tons of people
who do AR, by the way.
I know. This guy is just
really good at incorporating
- natural light and
- Sure. Yeah.
- Yup, yup.
- The discount is significant.
- Yeah.
- Um, I mean,
also I think it would be a great way
to premiere your new design.
I love you.
I love you.
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
♪
Hi, Angelica.
[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
Canelo. Canelo.
- Canelo. Canelo.
- [MAN SPEAKING SPANISH]
Come here. Come here.
- [MAN 1] Okay.
- [SPEAKING SPANISH]
We live at the end of the block.
- Bye-bye.
- I don't think I met you yet.
I met your wife, Barbara.
- Oh, yes.
- What's your name?
- Leo.
- Leo. Nice to meet you.
Oh.
Say hi to Barbara.
- I will.
- It's such a beautiful day.
So nice.
Bye, buddy.
[MAN SPEAKING SPANISH]
[MAN SPEAKING ON TV] The big news
that is completely
being ignored
is what's happening
in gold stocks and in gold.
I mean, today, the GDX index
of gold miners
hit a new high for the year.
In fact, it's at a new seven-year high
and if you look at how much
the index has moved
up since its March low
of about a month ago,
The index has now doubled.
So gold stocks
have doubled in price
in a month.
Now, granted they
doubled from a price that
was low because they went down
♪
[DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE]
[BELL JINGLES]
[VIC] Oh. Hey, Whitney.
- What's poppin'?
- [WHITNEY] Hi, Vic.
Um, I was just strolling
in the neighborhood
and I thought I'd check in.
Um Oh!
We we haven't told you yet.
Our show got picked up to series.
- [VIC] Oh, congrats.
- [WHITNEY] Yeah.
- It's very exciting.
- [VIC] You don't need me
for anything else, do you?
[WHITNEY] No, no.
Not if you don't want to. No.
[VIC] Yeah, I'd prefer maybe no.
- [WHITNEY] Hmm.
- [VIC] Just wanna get settle in.
[WHITNEY] We can talk about it later.
Um, I noticed the
induction stove out there.
[VIC] Uh, yeah, I swapped
it out for a gas one.
- I do a lot of stir fry.
- [WHITNEY] Mmm.
You know, with a gas unit,
this house no longer
qualifies as passive.
Ah, I didn't know that.
So you're venting the
air then to the outside?
The home is its own ecosystem.
It's not designed for a gas stove.
Well, I figured since it's my home,
I just wanna make it how I love it.
Yes, I am venting.
Okay, good. So I, um, I heard
that you're having an issue
with packages going missing?
Yeah, three of them.
I feel very welcome here.
I think everyone is
just doing their best.
And I know a lot of the neighbors
share your concerns.
Then why are they stealing them?
And I really I
I think you're handling it very well
because you're alerting the neighborhood
and you're not calling the police.
- Right?
- I haven't yet, no.
[WHITNEY] Hmm.
That's good because
there's really no reason
to do something like that
over something like this.
I mean, Amazon is not
gonna charge you, obviously.
It was an Alienware computer.
It didn't come from Amazon,
and they're not giving me a refund
because they said it was delivered.
- So
- [WHITNEY] Mm-hmm.
I would just think about the language
that you're using
to alert the community
because it could be
misinterpreted as an accusation.
You know what I mean?
Um, okay, well, uh,
it's good to see you.
- Yeah.
- Have a good day.
I gotta look up that Alienware stuff.
- That's so cool.
- Yeah.
I guess you really can learn
some things from your neighbors, huh?
- Mm-hmm. Okay.
- Have a good day, Vic.
Yeah. Bye, Whitney.
Bye-bye.
♪
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[PHONE VIBRATING]
- Hey. How did it go?
- [WHITNEY, OVER PHONE] Hi.
Uh, Vic threw out his induction range
and he replaced it with a gas stove.
- That's crazy.
- [WHITNEY] Yeah.
There has to be some type of clause
that you can put in the contract
that prevents buyers from ruining
the passive home certification.
- There has to be.
- I just don't think
you can put anything
in a purchase agreement
that prevents people
from making changes
after we close. I mean
- [WHITNEY SIGHS] But we
- We can try to,
you know, encourage
that behavior, but
Then we need to be more discerning
about who we're selling these homes to.
People like Vic just do not deserve
to be part of what we're building.
But it ended okay, right?
[WHITNEY] His his nose
is broken, but he'll live.
- Yeah.
- [ASHER CHUCKLES]
Don't worry. We'll
we'll we'll find
the right people for this.
I I promise, okay, babe?
- For real.
- This is real now, you know?
It's gonna be a lot of eyes on Española
and on us.
Oh, my God, he didn't
even try to sell the range.
He just threw it out.
Fucking stir fry.
- Oh, my God, the privilege.
- [SIGHS]
It's a $7,000 range.
[WHITNEY] Yeah, I know.
And he and he put it
right next to the recycling bin
which I thought was hilarious.
Like, "Oh, he recycles."
Is it damaged?
[WHITNEY] No, it's
in perfect condition.
It's just sitting next to
a bunch of garbage bins.
Oh, God.
Anyway, all right, I'll be home soon.
- Okay.
- [WHITNEY] Okay, bye.
Okay, bye. Love you.
["LIKE AN EAGLE BY DENNIS
PARKER PLAYS OVER RADIO]
Like an eagle, like an eagle ♪
In the city, in the city ♪
Fly high ♪
Hunting nightly, hunting nightly ♪
I search, I search ♪
Through the city, through the city ♪
Like an eagle, like an eagle ♪
Always hungry, always wanting ♪
Night, light ♪
- [SONG STOPS]
- [DOUGIE GROANS]
[INTERCOM BEEPS]
- [HOUSEMAID] Hello.
- Hello.
Yes, sorry to bother you
but, um, I have some car keys here.
And I'm wondering if somebody
here owns a big Mercedes.
[HOUSEMAID] Oh, okay.
[KALVIN] I got it!
What the fuck, man? You said 8:30.
I'm here, aren't I?
[KALVIN] Did you bring my car?
- [WOMAN] Kalvin!
- No.
- Give me the keys, quick.
- Kalvin, where is your car?
- Kalvin?
- Don't worry, Mom, I got it.
- It's just a delivery.
- [WOMAN] Who is this man?
He's an Uber messenger.
[WOMAN] Are you an Uber messenger?
Yes.
[WOMAN] Okay. You know what,
if somebody doesn't tell me
what's going on right now,
I'm calling the police.
Kalvin!
I don't know, Mom.
He he came to our school
and started lecturing us outside
about how his wife died drunk driving
and then he tried to buy us
beer to teach us a lesson.
You bought my son beer?
Yes, I did, um, but they were asking me
to buy them beer outside
of the liquor store.
No, we didn't.
You did.
You were asking everyone who went inside
if they would buy it for you.
And and the only reason that I did it
was to supervise them, okay?
And I made sure that they
gave me all of their car keys
before I bought them the
beer. Look, look, look.
How else would I have this, huh?
Kalvin and your address.
There it is right there.
Huh?
So you bought my son alcohol?
You're lucky I was the
one who bought him alcohol,
you know that? You're
lucky because otherwise
he'd might be dead in a ditch somewhere.
Dude, you stole my
car and bought me beer.
I'm a I'm a minor.
Such a baby. Sorry.
Look, you can go crime
for crime if you want,
all right, because I don't care.
My life's over essentially.
Anyways, he looks like a young man,
young boy who wants to
go to college, right?
I don't think I don't think a college
is gonna want a
criminal record on there,
all right? So you think about that
because the only school he's
gonna be able to get into
is Albuquerque Community
College, all right?
I hear they have a good janitor program.
Kalvin, do you know where
your car is? Answer me.
Cleaning up shit for the rest
of his life. Excuse my language.
- Do you know where your car is?
- Yes.
- Thank you. Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Please, leave.
- I appreciate the thank you
- but you're welcome.
- Thank you.
I'd like a thank you from him, please.
- [KALVIN] Thank you.
- You're welcome.
All right. But my morning
is already ruined, okay?
Believe it or not, I have a job to do.
I'm a TV producer.
Okay? And my show just got picked up
for ten episodes to series.
Spoiled brat.
♪
[HORN HONKS]
- [ASHER] Hi, Abshir.
- [ABSHIR] Hello.
- [ASHER] How are you?
- Good.
Good? I got some, uh,
goodies from the pantry for you.
Oh, I get so much food
from the grocery store, but thanks.
Yeah. And Whitney got some supplements
- for your neck pain.
- Yeah.
So that's in here, too.
Um, I, uh, I do have to, uh,
come in to do a mold test.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah, it won't be long at all.
You have to?
As the owner of the property,
if there is mold, you know,
that's a liability for me,
so I do need to do it.
Or else you could sue me.
- I'm not gonna sue you.
- No, no, I know you won't sue me,
but you could.
So, um
- [ABSHIR] Okay.
- Yeah, but I won't be long.
- Is that all right?
- Yeah, all right.
- More goodies here.
- Okay.
Do you like these beet chips?
You guys eat a lot of pasta?
Not me. She loves it.
[ASHER] Oh, yeah?
Nala, what's your
favorite kind of pasta?
Spaghetti.
Spaghetti?
Do you like penne?
What's penne?
That's macaroni.
Kinda gross, huh? [CHUCKLES]
- [HANI] Yeah.
- Yucky.
[HANI] How does that work?
How does this work?
I'm taking a sample with this Q-tip
of all the gucky stuff
and this is gonna go off to the lab
and then they're gonna
tell us in a week or so
if there's anything bad
in there or if it's fine.
Pretty neat, huh?
You like science?
- Yes.
- [ASHER] Okay.
Do you know what this is called?
A Petri dish.
So, we have to take the lid off
and then we're going to
leave it just over here,
so it sits right here
and it has to stay for 48 hours.
And then it's gonna test
the air for, um, contaminants.
And then maybe once we got the results,
you can bring it into
school and you can say
Uncle Asher helped you make it,
if you want.
Pretty cool, huh?
Oh, I watched, uh, some
of those Tiny Curse videos.
They're pretty cool.
I saw one where a kid's homework
disappeared and then turned into a DVD
of the show 60 Minutes.
So that's a real curse.
What's 60 Minutes?
Um, it's a news magazine.
Um
It's a show for us old
old geezers like me.
[IN DEEP VOICE] Oh, oh, I'm so old.
- That's not funny.
- Hi, I'm old.
[HANI] Ha-ha, you're so funny.
You don't find this funny?
- [HANI] No.
- [NALA] Hey,
you should let me paint your nails.
[ASHER, IN NORMAL VOICE]
Okay. You wanna paint my nails?
- [NALA] Mm-hmm.
- [ASHER] I'd love that.
Wait, did you do it on yourself?
[NALA] Yes.
[ASHER] Just one nail.
[NALA] Hmm, I could just have one.
Okay. Which one are
you gonna start with?
- [NALA] This one.
- I'd like to show you something.
Okay. Right now?
Yeah.
Can you please, let's
just stop discussing curses
- anywhere around here.
- Oh, it's a TikTok trend.
She told me it's a TikTok trend.
I know it's a trend, but it's
I had to work very hard for
her to stop talking about it.
And where I'm from, we
don't play with that.
Just so, please, just stop it.
Of course, of course. Um
[ABSHIR] Yeah.
Do you mind if I ask where you're from?
Uh, Minnesota.
- Minnesota. Okay.
- [ABSHIR] Hmm.
And
you, um
your culture, you believe in,
um, curses or, uh
- No, no, no.
- Oh, okay.
But if you put an idea in your head,
it can become very real.
And she's she's just a young girl.
- Of course. Yeah, yeah.
- You know?
Just I want it to be stopped.
No, of course, yes. No problem.
Yeah. We appreciate
everything you're doing,
but just keep that at it.
Just thanks.
Of course. Oh, you wanted to show me
- something in here?
- Oh, it's nothing.
♪
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS OVER STEREO]
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
Make sure not to catch
yourself in the reflection.
Shoot from an angle.
Okay.
Do you, um
You spoke to Fernando yesterday, right?
Yeah. He's really nice.
We actually talked for a long time.
Great. Uh, did you see his belt?
Um, he he still has it.
Did you tell him not to bring it?
I talked to him about it
but he didn't really answer
me when I asked him, so
Did you say that it
makes us uncomfortable?
I said that it made you uncomfortable.
Do you want me to talk to him again?
That would be great.
Yeah, if you don't mind.
[WHITNEY] The coffee shop's
reopening soon anyway,
so we don't even need him
doing security anymore.
Yeah. Thanks so much.
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[MUFFLED CONVERSATION]
Okay, cool. Let me know.
Thank you. All right.
Hello?
[LUISA] I told him not to bring the
gun anymore and he said, "Okay."
♪
Is he getting in his car?
He's getting in right now.
♪
[CAR DOOR CLOSES]
[CAR ENGINE STARTS]
- Okay. Let's go.
- [ENGINE STARTS]
Wait, wait, wait. Wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
- Wait, wait, wait.
- [ENGINE STOPS]
I can't be seen in his security camera.
Um, here, let me get
out and you can do it,
and I'll meet you
around the corner, okay?
- [DOOR THUDS]
- Oh, fuck.
Sorry, sorry, I dented it.
You're against a wall. It's fine.
There's probably no scratch there.
Just back up so I can get out.
That won't be easy for me to do, boss.
These things are heavy.
- Besides, it's garbage.
- It's
Who cares if we're taking it?
It's unprofessional to be
seen on camera taking it.
Here, just back up so I can get out.
[SIGHS]
Just duck down in the back.
♪
[ENGINE STARTS]
[ENGINE STOPS]
[GRUNTS]
I can't do this alone.
Can I get your help?
Come on, man. You're
fucking jacked. You got this.
You can do it. You
can do it on your own.
Trust me.
It fell.
Oh, goddamn it, Freckle.
Just leave it, let's go.
Let me put it back on the curb.
[ASHER] Just leave it.
It's fine. Just leave it.
Oh, gosh.
Go, go. Come on, Freckle.
Hurry up.
[ENGINE STARTS]
See, it's tough.
The whole show is
integrating the two buyers
into the community, so
I know, but Whitney
doesn't wanna use Vic
for anything beyond the pilot.
And that's, like, for sure, for sure.
So, can you do it with
our Palmer Lane buyers,
Dennis and Lucinda?
[DOUGIE] Yeah. I guess so.
I just thought Vic would be pretty funny
because, um, he's single.
So, him at a fiesta would
be kind of [CHUCKLES]
I mean, he was also racist
to the entire neighborhood,
so I don't think we can use him.
Come on. That's the kind of stuff
I want in the show, man.
Racism?
No, but, like, conflict.
I'm sure you can make,
uh, with your skills,
Dennis and Lucinda
seem racist, too, so
- [SCOFFS]
- I'm obviously joking.
[DOUGIE] Don't tempt me there.
All right. Fine. No Vic.
Look at us, huh?
Making a TV show.
[SCOFFS] Yeah.
[DOUGIE] Boys are back.
Asher and Big D back on the lake.
[SCOFFS] Back on the lake.
Look, man
[EXHALES SHARPLY] I
just wanna say I'm sorry,
you know, for bullying you
all those years at camp.
You never bullied me.
There was the time at Sports World
where we ditched you and the
pantsing at the swim meet.
Uh, we were just joking around.
Yeah, right?
- [ASHER] Yeah.
- It was fun.
All right. Look, the point I
was trying to make about Vic was
just because Whitney has a moral issue
with something that's happening,
we just toss it away?
Come on. You know our show
barely got picked up, right?
- Really? The show?
- [DOUGIE] Yeah. Yes.
The pilot could have been so good.
You had you with the reporter, right?
Chasing her around, the
little girl cursing you,
the yogurt argument, all that stuff,
we're letting them go,
throwing them in the trash.
You know how hard it
is to get that stuff?
I don't know.
I'm just trying to protect
what we've got here.
And you know Whitney better than me,
so, what can we do about it, right?
[ASHER] Yeah. Well
my only advice would
be to get used to it
'cause she's not gonna change.
[DOUGIE] Oh, great.
What is this stuff?
Oh, Stars and Stripes.
Two-and-a-half-liter bottle.
Local cola,
about a dollar-ish.
Maybe buck twenty-five, dollar-thirty,
depending on where you shop.
It's kind of crazy actually.
The girl that did that curse thing
she was actually living in
one of the houses we bought.
[DOUGIE] That's crazy.
Here. Let me have one.
What do you think of this jacket?
- Good?
- [ASHER] Nice, yeah.
I can pull it off.
Seventeen hundred bucks.
[CHUCKLES] It's a lot. Yeah, it's nice.
[DOUGIE] Cool.
It's actually kind of funny, I
so I said to her, the girl,
as like a joke, I was, like, "Oh,
what was the curse you did to me?"
And, uh
she told me
that she took the
chicken out of our pasta.
But the night she did that,
there's actually chicken
missing from our pasta.
We had a chicken pasta
from our delivery thing.
- [DOUGIE] Hmm.
- [ASHER] It's, like,
what are the odds?
So she she said that
and then that happened, huh?
[ASHER] Yeah.
Well, it happened before.
But I guess she thought
it I don't know.
What is it?
Let me show you something. Come here.
- [ASHER] Can I sit?
- [DOUGIE] Yeah, yeah.
Here, watch this.
[GIRL, ON VIDEO] I curse you.
[ASHER, ON VIDEO] [LAUGHS] Okay. Okay.
- I'm gonna go get okay?
- You hear that?
[ASHER, ON VIDEO] So I'll
be right just stay here.
I'm getting change.
I curse you.
[LAUGHS] Okay.
Okay. I'm gonna go get okay?
- [ASHER] The static?
- Yeah.
Yeah. Right after she
said, "I curse you,"
it went [IMITATES STATIC SOUND]
Isn't that just interference,
though, from the distance?
Because I was far away from you guys.
[SIGHS]
Look, I'm debating whether I
have to even tell you or not
but
[ASHER] What?
[SIGHS]
I was cursed.
[LAUGHS]
[DOUGIE] I'm serious.
What? Wait, by who?
I don't know.
There's nobody that in particular
that I can point to, but
there's no other way I can
explain what happened
[SIGHS] with, um, Melanie.
Oh. I thought I
thought it was an accident.
It was. It was, but
I happened to be drunk that night.
Nothing, nothing makes sense.
And then
I'm not I don't wanna talk
about this anymore, all right?
♪
[ASHER, ON VIDEO] Okay.
So I'll be right
just stay here.
I'm getting change.
Okay. Okay. I'm gonna go get okay?
So I'll be right just stay here.
I'm getting change.
♪
[CHIROPRACTOR] Breathe in and out.
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
Um, is it possible to pre-pay
for an appointment for someone else?
[CHIROPRACTOR] Yes. Absolutely.
Do they have insurance?
Let's assume not.
And then I'll just
cover the whole thing.
[SIKHS SINGING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE]
- Would you like to join us?
- Oh, that's okay.
- I could just watch.
- Okay.
[SINGING CONTINUES]
♪
♪
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
So with a younger workforce
coming into the corporate world,
ironically, there are
gonna be a lot more words
that we're gonna need to avoid.
But the good news is, sometimes,
uh, some of the funniest
jokes that we tell,
we don't even know why
we're laughing, right?
We don't even need words, right?
So what we're gonna do is
we're gonna go around the circle
and then we're gonna
try to see if we can make
the whole group laugh
not using any words, okay?
No words. So I'll go first.
- [ALL LAUGHING]
- Yeah? All right.
All right. Sarah, we're gonna
go you're gonna go next,
and then we're gonna go clockwise.
- [LAUGHING]
- [JEFF] That's great.
That's great.
- [LAUGHING]
- [JEFF] Uh-huh. Okay. Next.
[LAUGHING]
[JEFF] That's great,
that's hilarious, go ahead.
Don't worry about it. Everybody's here,
you know, we're supporting you.
No wrong choices, go ahead.
- Oh.
- [LAUGHING]
[JEFF] Hilarious. Okay, go ahead.
Yeah.
- [LAUGHING]
- [JEFF] That's great.
That's hilarious. Yeah.
[LAUGHING]
[JEFF] That's great, yeah. Next.
[GIBBERISH]
[JEFF] Uh, next.
[LAUGHING]
[JEFF] Okay. Go ahead.
[ALL LAUGHING]
[JEFF] Go ahead.
Yeah.
That's hilarious.
[ALL LAUGHING]
[JEFF] Great, yeah.
- [ALL LAUGHING]
Fuckin' comedy.
[ALL LAUGHING]
[ALL LAUGHING]
[ALL LAUGHING]
[ALL LAUGHING]
- [JEFF] Okay, last
- [ALL LAUGHING]
[JEFF] That's great, guys.
Good job, that's hilarious.
Give yourselves a round of applause.
- [ALL APPLAUDING]
- [JEFF] Good job, everybody.
Great.