The Ex List s01e04 Episode Script

A lotus' flower will be beautiful for the reception,but like I said before they only open during the day.
No,I can't really trick them.
Okay,well,I'll show you some more arrangements when you come in tomorrow.
Okay.
All right,bye.
I don't know what you're doing, but stop and come surfing.
You don't know what I'm doing because I'm working.
I can't just leave.
Why own your own business if you can't leave to go surfing? Can't you see I'm mid-arrangement? Seriously,on your deathbed,you're gonna wish you did more arranging or surfing as this? Okay.
I'm gonna take an early lunch,Kari.
MAN Step up,everybo.
We've got visors,posters,water bottles and key chains.
What is going on? Ah,the Wave of the Year Awards Show is here this weekend.
I'm gonna check out the free swag.
Whoa.
What about the great surf? They're giving away visors.
You can enter to win four exclusive backstage passes to the Wave of the Year Awards, sponsored by Curl,Ultramarine and Planet Green.
At 4:00,the surf girls will be handing out T-shirts.
We'll also be raffling off prizes, including tanning products Please tell me that was anything but my board! Yo,dude,maybe you can see over your big hood.
Hey! Come back here! You suck! That's a drag.
Oh,my God.
Shane.
Bella.
Mexico? Bella.
Bella Bloom.
Shane,we have to pack.
I found an orchard.
Had to run through a pasture, and almost got gored by a bull,but look what I got.
Fresh post-surf margies.
You stole limes? Farmer's gonna be stoked if we slid him some fresh Dorado.
Shane,we have to go.
The only thing we have to do is surf when there's surf.
Paddle out with me,Bella,come on.
One good wave can change your life.
So can being stuck in Mexico with no food,money,or toilet paper.
You worry too much,chica.
A little bit of salt water will take care of that.
Hey,can you video me? What? I want to check out my bottom turn.
Es problemo grande.
No.
Problemo grande is my design theory midterm on Tuesday.
- You may not get that.
- Why? - Because I don't go to art school? - Yes.
Or have a job.
Or any aspirations other than surfing.
I have priorities,Shane.
The wind's backing off,and the sets are getting bigger.
Looks killer.
You gonna come out with me? No.
Okay.
I'll be back in a while.
Video me,okay? Shane,I think you're pretty cool, but I'm not gonna video you because I don't think you should work on your bottom turn.
I think you should work on owning shoes.
You should work on getting a job.
And you should work on a life that isn't ruled by surf.
I'm going back home.
Wow.
You still surf? All the time.
I'm glad to see that you,uh,still surf,too.
No,I just nude up and scream at people in parking lots.
- It's a bigger rush.
- Impressive.
I get it.
I'm gonna get dressed.
Just a reminder,surfers.
Check-in ends at 5:00.
So,you,uh you're still living down here - in San Diego? - Yup,and you're.
.
All over.
Most recently,El Salvador.
You know,I got a little spot down there that's goofy-foot paradise.
Hey,I saw you I saw your picture in a surfing magazine once.
What,the shot of me at Puerto? In a hot tub with some Brazilian women.
Are you here for the Big Wave Awards? Yeah.
You know what? We should go surfing while I'm here.
Yeah,my board just got crushed.
Right.
I've used it,like,twice.
- You know,it's a little big for me,but,uh,take it.
- No way.
- Yes way.
- Really? Yeah.
Wait.
Did this fall off the back of a truck? I get them for free.
From who? From them.
I'm nominated in the,uh,Wave of the Year Awards,Bella.
I lucked into a monster outside of Cortez,and somebody got it on film, and boom,all of a sudden, I'm one of the world's premier big wave riders.
How about that? Oh,my God.
You're famous.
Infamous,mostly You know,one good wave can change your life,right? Now,I'm gonna go sign autographs for a couple of minutes, and then I got to get out in the water and catch my lunch before tide fills in, but,uh,I hope we get a chance to surf.
I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Yay,"Animal"! Yo.
Let's go! Is that Shane Gallagher? You know him? Yeah.
Dude pulled into a huge wave up at Cortez - You have to o marry within the year - What? or you'll spend the rest of your life alone.
- When am I gonna meet him? - You already have.
You had a romantic relationship with him.
Do you have any idea how many men I've dated? I've kissed a few frogs.
Looking for the only thing That matters now,and it's just you On my way,it starts today I'm dedicated to find you Dedicated to find you.
I love surfer bodies.
They're all shoulders and chest.
And now I'm gonna feel uncomfortable every time you ogle me.
He looked good.
He always looked good.
In a scruffy,salty,bath-in-the-briny-deep way.
Mmm.
How'd he smell? Earthy.
Like the ocean, cocoa butter,summer sweat.
Ooh,a spring break bar.
Totally get that.
So,looked good,smelled good.
Why'd you break up with him? Besides the fact that I didn't want to live in his tent in Mexico? He was reckless,jobless,dangerous.
I just never felt like he was gonna grow up and do anything with his life.
And you were uptight,sister.
- No,I wasn't.
- Oh,please.
That was your "I'm paying for my own art school" phase.
It was awful.
Well,if you're uptight,Shane Gallagher is not the guy for you.
They started calling him "The Animal" after he'd grown a beard to blend in with the rebels, and surf in Sri Lanka.
And he's banned for life from Peru.
Went skinny-dipping with the Minister of Defense's daughter.
Ooh,he sounds fun.
Could be the one.
one isn't going to be referred to as The Animal.
He's a celebrity now.
You have to hook up with him.
It's law.
Guys,I know I have this crazy ex-boyfriend prophecy, but if Shane's the guy I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with,I don't know who I am.
Augie, when can you do my headshots? Seeing as how I'm busy discussing Bella's love life,right now.
Oh,well,I will go shower and primp.
Good-bye.
So,you gonna call Shane? No.
What's the point? First of all,he's only here for the weekend.
Really good sex can fix that.
Right,baby? Second of all, yeah,the guy's had a little success, but he's still this crazy,vagabond surf bum who'd drop anything for a wave.
And third,I'm a grownup.
I pay taxes,I own a business.
You're lying in a baby pool.
I am not going to ask Marina about Shane,okay? So,let me ask you something,just out of curiosity.
Do you see any problem with me being,like, a little too judgmental? Yes.
I'm glad I amuse you.
So am I.
Look,you're a romantic,passionate woman, but you can be volatile,judgmental.
You have a strong need to connect, but your romantic ideals prevent you from having deeply intimate relationships.
Sometimes they also prevent you from having fun.
So,if there's a guy who's fun, but ultimately just a man-child who's only here for a weekend,I shouldn't judge, I should just have a good time? Sit down.
What if I told you I sleep with a hairy Albanian landlord just to keep this space,and I eat a lot because I picked up a parasite in Ashtarok? I'd be sympathetic but grossed out? Hmm.
None of it is true,but it could be.
You don't know.
You don't really know about other people.
You just know yourself.
So,you think it's cool if I say,what the hell, and give surfer guy a shot? Is he cute? Oh! Yeah.
So,I'll thinking,like,three different looks.
Like,ballet,ballroom, and then something really tarty,like a wasted pussycat doll.
I'm gonna take a shower.
What,now? I feel a little hot.
Okay,Daphne, So,like,one role each? Two! Please,Augie.
I have to be professional.
Should we discuss any compensation? Don't be silly.
I'll pay for the film.
Oh! You charge.
Okay.
Whoa! I'm blowing.
Just don't want you to glisten.
Yeah! Oh! Beautiful! Ah! Yeah! Oh! I don't care what your psychic says.
Shane's your guy.
I had a vision.
Were you covered in swag? What are you doing here? What are you,like,stalking him? I'm a fan.
Look,these guys get the really good stuff.
Free.
Go make him love you then introduce me.
Ah! That's it.
That's it right there.
Bella.
Come here.
Bella,Bella,beautiful Bella.
Hey.
Guys,this is Bella.
Hi,Bella.
She left me stranded in Mexico.
Bella,this,uh This squirrelly character's Otto.
- Do not give him your credit card.
- No.
And this is,uh This is Mini-Van.
Enough said.
- Hi,I'm Cyrus.
- Great.
You can make a brandy Alexander,right? Uh,yeah.
I'll take a pitcher.
And,uh,use Hargraves Brandy,okay,brother? Killer.
Thank you.
Wow.
A pitcher of Brandy Alexanders.
Sure you don't want them just to bring you in a Whiskey Sour fountain? Okay.
Wait a minute.
- This is you should girl? - "You should" what girl? We were on a trip surfing in Indo,okay,on a boat in the middle of nowhere for about three months,and there's nothing to do at night but watch TV and videos, and so,uh,after we got sick of watching Shawshank and Resident Evil,I found your tape.
And you all watched it? About a billion times.
"I think you should work on owning shoes.
" Hey,it actually made me miss you.
You were,uh,you were feisty.
Yeah,well,certain people bring out my "feist.
" Well,how about a dance? - Can you,uh,can you cha-cha? - No.
Neither can I.
We're gonna be perfect together.
Shane,no one else is dancing.
Good,because if we suck,we're gonna need the room.
I'm sorry those guys are so rowdy.
Oh,yeah.
I'll tell the boys to take it down a notch.
You know those guys? Oh,yeah.
You're a surfer? Hard-core.
God,I've always wanted to learn.
It looks fun,I just need a good teacher, cause I'm kind of lutz.
Uh,I could probably teach you.
Really? You know,I heard you should learn on like a big long board.
Do you have a long board? Yup.
Really wouldn't be a huge problem, if you wanted a lesson.
Sweet.
So how was the rest of that trip to Mexico? Oh,what? You mean where you,uh,you abandoned me? I was pretty sure you could take care of yourself.
Plus,I had a test that I missed,thanks to you.
Oh,see,you should've stayed.
What was it? - I don't remember.
- But hold on, it was so important.
I remember everything about the rest of that trip.
That afternoon,a pod of dolphins showed up.
The farmer taught me how to harvest agave.
The waves got really good and my tent got really empty.
Oh,it must've been a rough 15 minutes.
Yeah.
Been to Peru recently? Hey,don't believe everything you read,girl,okay? I was trespassing on a military base to surf.
The Defense Minister's daughter? I met her while I was being questioned.
She thought I was funny.
Oh,like funny ha-ha or funny weird? Yeah,dip! Whoo! How about a warning next time,Cha-Cha? Then I wouldn't get that startled expression.
Ah,put me down! - Oh,hey,let's take off.
- Why? Cause we're about to get booted,trust me.
You want to come? It'll be fun.
Where are we going? No clue,but it'll be fun.
Thanks.
Bella.
Wait up! Oh,crap.
Does it,does it have to be so loud? Use the energy.
I'm rocking sugar plum fairy here,Augie.
Shouldn't we be listening to classical? Thank you.
Oh! Hi.
You look pretty.
Thank you.
Hey,can you close that door? All that steam can fry my hair.
That was a long shower.
Bye.
I can't believe how fast you were going.
Well,that guy from the supermarket was chasing us, and I never lose at Shopping Cart Ben Hur.
Whoo! You didn't grab any attire.
I don't like to get clothes where I get food.
Maybe we Maybe we should return the cart? Yes.
That's nice of you.
No,I mean,that's where I buy my groceries.
You're leaving in a few days,but No,no,no,no,no you're right.
We should take the carts back.
But,um but not now,okay? I'm gonna go get some dessert.
Road Dog! What's up,baby? What? I got a watch.
We've been here one minute.
These guy's the golden goose.
- Yeah,well,get your eggs now,honey.
- What? It's has been fun,but I'm pretty sure I'm crossing him off the list.
What? No! Marry him.
Now.
Cyrus,please.
Shane is still way too out of control.
Shopping cart Ben Hur? It's 4:30 in the afternoon,I know.
and I'm buzzed on Brandy Alexders.
Why's that got to be a bad thing? Because I'm a grown-up.
This little trip back to eleventh grade has been fun,but enough is enough.
He's still too much of a child for me.
Great.
All right,time to swing for the fences.
I got to get me a long board.
Yeah,so Mini-Van, like I was telling you before, the lip just center-punched me through my long board.
- Uh-huh.
- Thing broke like a cracker.
As luck would have it, I'm in between jobs, so it's kind of tough Oh Uh,sciatica? Oh,my back.
Have you,uh,ever tried deep-tissue massage? How much you weigh,brother? A buck thirty.
Here,uh,turn around.
To be honest with you,I don't even remember the wave.
I was so hammered.
I'm just fortunate enough - to be here right now.
- Hey.
Can you give us a second,babe? Yeah,you can have as many seconds as you want.
Shane,it was real fun seeing you,but I got to take off.
- Okay? - What? No,no,no.
Just,uh,just hang out.
This'll be two seconds.
Shane,why don't you and I have a talk in the back.
She's cool.
She's an old friend.
All right,come on.
Shane Come on.
I know you guys probably have some great party to hit, but I think,uh,I think playtime is over for me,so Oh Hey,any feedback on the market research on the sunglass line? They want a shot of you doing something radical in your signature shades, and not breaking them.
Selling the sunglasses and you at the same time, it's synergy,it's beautiful.
I could jump off the balcony right here into the pool? Wait,what? It's cool,they're my marketing guys.
I think dive,right? Dive? Dive would be better.
Japanese surf conglomerate wants to use your image online, but they want you "draped in busty, blonde American girl.
" Doable,right? A lot of surfers in their demo over there.
Hargraves Brandy guy's here.
- Wants to meet you.
- Dude.
I cannot drink another one of those drinks.
Hey,hey,hey! One more day.
Come on,Shane.
Will you tell your friend here to sack up? He's on the short list for the Asian campaign.
Yeah,I'm drunker than I thought.
I have absolutely no idea what's happening right now.
If you just hang out a little longer,I'll explain.
Okay,but right now, I have to go be - " The Animal.
" - There he is! Here he comes! All right.
Hey,sorry I couldn't clue you in on what I was doing before.
I just felt kind of,you know,weird blurting it out.
Blurting what out? The surf apparel industry has become the largest clothing market in the world.
I'm a good surfer, but I'm an even better brand.
I sell more to teenage boys if they think I'm the out-of-control-wild guy.
You were always kind of that.
Yeah,15 years ago.
I've grown up.
A little.
I'm still wild,but I'm definitely - not "The Animal.
" - Whoa.
Whoa,screw that.
Look at me.
Look at me.
You are.
You're Peter Pan with authority issues, a drinking problem and stones so big,you can't sit down.
And that is the image we're going to sell at the awards ceremony tomorrow night.
Right? Right.
Right.
God,I am so tired.
Hey,would you like to come? I mean,I really could use the sanity.
And it could be fun,you know.
It could be like the,uh,you know,the Big Wave Oscars.
Do I have to act wild? Because I don't know if body shots and balcony dives are really my bag.
No,no,that's,uh,that's my job.
You just be you.
Okay,that's all I want.
So,what does one wear to the Big Wave Oscars? You're going to need to wear something by one of his sponsors.
I'll have some choices sent over.
Ooh,who knew today would end with a trying-on-clothes montage? Okay,all right,good.
Uh,no one-on-one canoodling tomorrow night.
Okay? He needs to appear available.
Hargraves Brandy has this "modern pirate untamable beast" pitchman idea,so Okay? I know it's weird,but I,uh,I feel like I have to take advantage of this now,you know? - Mm.
- I mean,who knows where I'm going to be in five years? I always thought you'd be on some sort of desert island.
- What,do you think I'm some sort of jerk now? - Stop.
I get it.
I always wanted you to get a job,and you did.
It's a little unusual,but I do wish Otto would back off a little bit.
He's just worried.
He can see what's going on with us.
Yeah? Wait,what's going on with us? You know,you and me.
We're having fun.
Real fun,right? I'm having fun.
Except for the shopping cart waffle butt.
Come on.
I,uh, I'm really glad that we bumped to each other.
I am,too.
I really want to go surfing with you.
I'd tear it up these days.
I have no doubt.
Okay,Shane,walk back into the main hallway with this hibachi,set it up and grill this fresh fish you caught today.
And,of course, washing it down with your new favorite drink.
- Hargraves,of course.
- There you go.
You all right? Yeah.
All right.
Break a leg.
Here you go.
- Whoo! - Whoo! Here we go! All right,kiddies.
Gather around,gather around! How do you like your pescado? Oh,yeah Hey.
Okay,what are you doing? Helping Mini-Van with his back.
L4 or L5 problem.
Don't stop.
- Oh,don't stop.
- That's very charitable.
- Why? - Because he's in pain.
And because he's agreed to hook me up with one of Shane's brand-new,custom-made Paul Wyler longboards.
Good for teaching,right? The best.
But no deal if you keep jawing.
Less talking,more walking.
You got it.
Right there,oh More toes.
More toes.
- Hey.
- What's going on,sweetie? Nothing,just tired.
I'm going to take a shower.
What,another one? I didn't know you were counting.
I'm not,it's just It's just what? You've definitely been taking lots of showers lately.
That's because I like taking showers.
Right.
Is that a problem? As long as there's enough water left over for me when I feel like taking a shower.
I wouldn't worry about that.
If you say so.
Has there ever not been enough water when you were dirty? No.
Then I wouldn't worry about it.
- The things we do for love.
- What? Long story,but for now,assume it involves one gorgeous hostess and one unusually large man with sciatica.
- Mm,sounds dirty.
- It is.
Which is why I need take a long hot shower.
Well,I think Viv's in there.
Again? Dude, you never should have bought that shower head.
This has to stop,like,pronto.
It's not natural.
She just got back from the gym.
And I just got back from rolling around on top of a 300-pound Hawaiian man.
So It's disgusting, yes,ut not as repulsive as you think.
Not if my plan works anyway.
You feel like going to grab a cup of coffee? Not really.
Turn the music up, I gotta get ready for tonight.
I'll be in my room.
So,Shane's "wild" stuff is an act? Not totally.
It's him just amplified a little.
Like lip plumper.
Yeah.
Huh.
He's,uh,he's part surfer, part actor,part businessman.
Awesome.
Mm-mmm.
How does that not work? It does.
Kind of.
I like.
So,what? I don't know,I just think he's not that happy.
Well,he's doing all those parts at once.
Maybe he's just tired.
Which is why he needs a relaxing dinner among friends.
You are having dinner with me and Marty.
He's trying out this new dessert.
Oh,and we're having it here, because Marty's putting in our new stove.
Well Bye.
Dude,there's gonna be food there.
Don't like to eat in front of people.
So,when am I gonna get the board? What do you want? Nine foot? Ten foot? Food down the wrong pipe.
Hey,you look nice.
Going to the Wave of the Year Award show.
Cool.
Well,I got Sunday off,so - If you want to give me my lesson then? - Sunday will work.
Okay.
Cool.
- What the hell was that? - Dude, I need the board so I can give that girl a surf lesson.
Get it? So,please,hook a brother up, and don't make me massage you in here.
- She's pretty hot.
- Molten.
Okay.
I get it,Cyrus.
I'll help you out.
- Guy code.
- Guy code.
But I think you knocked a disc out.
We're gonna need to work on that a little later.
Great! That's nominee number two, Jimmy Dunn at Todos Santos! Jimmy,come on up here.
Let's talk about it.
Jimmy! This is a big mess of hot,young dudes in hip clothing.
No,no,listen.
Um,Otto grabbed me - before,and,um - Yeah? they want me to go on stage and bring a Polynesian girl with me and say the story about how we shared Brandy Alexanders together in the South Pacific.
Okay.
And pretended that she's my girlfriend.
But you're the untamable beast.
I don't know,something about Pacific Rim accessibility, blah,blah,blah.
I don't know,I'm over it.
Do you mind? Am I in position to mind? All right,next up, Shane Gallagher on a monster at Cortez Bank.
Check this out.
Whoo! You know,I'm kind of proud of you.
Really? You made your passion,your living.
That's hard to do.
Thank you.
That means a lot coming from the,uh,You Should Girl.
I just I hope that you're happy.
What do you mean? You seem Are,are I don't know.
Are you happy? You mean,right now? At this moment? Yeah.
Yes.
I'm happy.
What if your fake Polynesian girlfriend sees us? Oh,she's a nag.
All right,let's hear it for nominee number three, Shane "The Animal" Gallagher.
Shane,where you at? Come on down here,Shane.
- These Ono kabobs - yum! What are you doing here? You walk on Mini-Van,you get anything.
Trust me,it's work.
Shane,you got any,uh,shout-outs? Actually,I do.
I would like to introduce you all to,uh,somebody very special to me.
But first, I'm bet "The Animal" needs a Brandy Alexander,huh? No,thank you.
I'm actually driving.
No,no,no,you're not.
Who cares,drink it.
No,no,calm down,calm down.
So,I'd like to give a shout-out to a very,uh,a very dear friend of mine she's definitely the,uh,prettiest flower in the garden.
Bella Bloom.
Who? Uh,yeah,Bella She's helping me take care of myself.
You know,sort of calm me.
Bella,would you,uh,would you please come up here? Don't.
Don't.
Don't.
Don't.
Okay,cheer for "The Animal.
" Oh, I can't believe you did that.
Why? I should have done it a long time ago.
Better give me a warning if you're gonna call me up on stage.
Then I wouldn't get this great expression.
Dude.
Are you insane? What have we been working on for the past three months? Uh,wearing me out,bro.
Ah,Shane Hargraves wanted you and the Polynesian girl.
Look,I'm sorry,Ott.
I bet you are.
We can kiss Hargraves good-bye.
I'm just tired of the act,man.
You're a pro big wave surfer, there's gotta be anther way for you to make a living.
Yeah,we'll see.
I just hope that he's not,um,driving around in a van selling flip-flops.
All right.
What a night,huh? You guys ready to go? Let's go.
You okay? Yeah.
Do you want to get out of here? What if you win? I I don't care if I win.
All I care about right now,is if I leave with you.
Come on.
This place is great, but I heard the locals are agro.
Oh,it's not a problem.
We're meeting some of my old surf buddies.
Seriously? Hey,I have other friends,Bella.
Hey,it's my little gouramis! What's happening? Hey,uh,Bella,this is my sister Carly.
Hey,come on,put your stuff down.
And these are her kids,Sophia and Billy.
Can't believe you have family.
I never pictured that.
Where'd you think I came from? I don't know.
Washed up on the beach after a storm or something.
Come on! Who wants to get wet? - They must like having Shane around.
- Yeah.
Shane's a fun uncle.
I heard you two had quite a night.
Yeah.
You think he'll be okay? That guy always lands on his feet.
Going in,man.
Go on Hi,uh,you're Marcus,right? Yup.
I'm here to pick up a Paul Wyler.
Eight-foot pintail.
- Here? - Uh,Mini-Van said it'd be waiting for me.
Said he talked to you.
Mini-Van? Let me guess,Miss Saigon,you walked on his back.
Uh,where's Mini-Van? Who knows? Vegas? Philippines? Local bar? Look,there ain't no surfboard,kid.
Wait,wait,wait,wait.
I'm friends with Shane Gallagher.
No you're not.
'Cause if you were Shane's friend, you'd know to never,ever,trust Mini-Van.
I massaged his neck fat.
Yeah,you ain't the first.
So,when you feel the back of your board rising I want you to take two more strokes and then boom! Stand up,put your butt down.
Or if you want some style, in which case,stand tall.
Oh,gee, and then you wipe out! Ooh,there you go.
Practice that for a little bit.
They're impossibly cute.
I know.
Of course you're good with kids.
Well,it helps to be one.
Yeah,I bet it does.
What does that mean? You have a childlike enthusiasm.
Uh,thank you? Compliment,dufus.
Lets see some smiles.
Hey,kids,grab the boards.
Come here.
Do this.
Come on,Bella,get in the picture.
You hold on to it.
Perfect.
So,uh, I'm thinking maybe tonight we go to a restaurant.
One that requires me to wear shoes.
Mm,that sounds great, but I have plans for dinner with my sister and her husband.
Do you want to come? It's okay? It's at my house,so yes.
Are we ever gonna go for a surf? I want to show you how it's done.
Let's go.
Let's go get wet.
Come on! Hey.
Uh-uh,outside.
I just dropped 280 bucks on this puppy.
She's spending the night.
Since when do you long board? Since I met a really hot girl who's dying for me to teach her,and I need one.
You bought her a board? It's easier than getting one the other way.
Trust me,the return on investment here is huge.
Giving a cute chick her first surf lesson like shooting fish in a barrel.
- You didn't? - What? The stupid thing doesn't even work.
Right.
So all that noise Vivian makes that's her way of complaining.
Oh,God why can't Augie fix this? The ratio of the things you know to the things you talk about is surprisingly low.
At least my women don't pick shower heads over me.
Your your women? You haven't had a date since the Clinton administration.
Oh! - Hey,guys.
- Hi.
I hear the waves are pretty good right now.
So? Take a walk,dude.
Okay? Did you seriously dismantle the shower head? It's crazy,Viv.
The whole thing.
I mean it's nuts.
And embarrassing.
I mean all that the moaning and groaning.
So,you're embarrassed that I have a healthy sex drive and an imagination? I'm embarrassed that you do it so openly with people in our apartment.
It's not like I'm inviting them in for a show.
Would you rather I go to someone else's apartment? When I hear you,the whole thing just it like I can't help thinking,like,what you're thinking about and who you're thinking about whenever it is,you know, you're doing whatever it is you do in there.
Are you asking me what I think about? 'Cause my fantasies are mine,okay? They're private.
I don't have to share them with you, so you just have to deal with it.
I'm gonna take a shower.
I'm just kidding.
God All right.
Thanks for helping me close up.
Maybe if I do a good job,you'll hire me.
Would you be cool with me saying," You there,flower boy," every time I ask you to do something? I kind of would.
Mm-hmm,yeah,you look pretty good holding a et of gladiolus.
Yeah,is this,uh is this doing it for you? - Is that weird? - Should,I,uh, throw in some of those pink spiky things and really mix things up? Uh,maybe next time.
Yeah,next time.
I,uh I really I really like your shop.
Thank you.
I like you in your shop.
Yeah,you're gonna have to kiss me.
Ooh,hey,hey,sorry.
Sorry,sorry to interrupt.
Your sister said you'd be here.
What's up? Uh,first of all, I just wanted to apologize to Bella for being a bit shortsighted earlier.
And,uh,I wanted to ask you to thank your sister.
Uh,she sent me this picture of you and Bella and the kids at the beach.
I blasted it over to my buddy at Homefront Clothing.
He flipped.
He saw you in a whole new light.
You serious? Possible national campaign.
We've never had heat this fast before.
Look at you.
Hanging out,being all marketable.
Right? There's one problem,though.
Um,they're based here in San Diego,so you might have to stick around for a while.
Yeah? I'm kind of thinking that,uh,might not be a problem.
Alana,how is it? Hey,Cyrus.
So,I'm all ready for that lesson on Sunday.
Got a killer long board.
Oh,yeah.
You know,we probably don't have to do that.
What? Some other guy is teaching me.
Alana,come on.
Really? If you want to hang with the JV team,that's your call.
No,this guy's legit.
And he's Hawaiian.
Isn't that,like,the birthplace of surfing? He's Hawaiian? Yeah,he's,uh,right over there.
Did you want a table? - Dude! - Hey.
What the hell? Guy code.
Yeah,guy code.
while guy code says girl that pretty,best man wins.
Well,we're on the mainland.
I massaged you.
I know it felt good.
Surfing's going to be easy.
Will you miss traveling the globe, surfing giant waves? Yeah,maybe a little.
I'll miss the waves.
Well,you don't get this traveling the globe.
One of Marty's decadent desserts.
Should come with a heart stint.
Yeah,I apologize for the presentation.
It was supposed to be topped by a sugar cage, but Bella doesn't have a torch or a double boiler or a nine-inch stainless steel bowl.
It's like working in the Flinstones' kitchen in there.
I have a torch.
And that's a working oven, by the way.
And I am the happiest girl in the land.
Oh,wait till you taste it.
None for me,thanks, but,uh smells great.
Since when do you not eat dessert? Since I have to worry about the camera adding ten pounds.
I'm thinking that,you know,Homefront Clothing might want to see some abs.
Well,believe me, a piece of cake isn't gonna hurt those.
Oh,you'd be surprised.
Score.
More for me.
Well,here,have me of this,um, high-quality,fat-free coffee.
I'm gonna have to pass on the,uh,coffee,too.
I,uh gotta get my teeth whitened.
Seriously? What? No,I the guy who wears the same board shorts 72 days in a row is getting his teeth whitened? The guy who always leaves the sheets sandy 'cause he's always sandy? I don't know if he's a teeth whitener.
I don't know if he is,either, but the guy who,uh,has to make a living is.
And he's pretty psyched.
I gotta go.
You know,I got a meeting with the,uh,Homefront people pretty,uh,early tomorrow,so Marty,Daphne,thank you so much for dinner.
Uh,I'm so sorry that I have to bail.
No problem.
Good night.
Have fun with your teeth.
Okay,so we're going surfing tomorrow? Yeah.
Yeah,I'll see you there.
You're kidding,right? What happened to that speech about there always being enough water? That's not the issue.
What's the issue? Are you thinking about the girls on your computer? No.
But if I was, that would be my business,right? My private thoughts are my private thoughts.
Uh-huh.
This really sexy chick I know once told me that.
Okay,okay,okay,okay,you convinced me.
I convinced you? Hey.
Are we surfing? Shane? Hey,do you know what the Heisenberg principle is? What? The Heisberg principle.
It says that you can never really put something underneath a microscope and observe it in its natural state.
You know,the act of observing it changes its behavior.
I spend a lot of time alone in tents and read.
Are you okay? Yeah,I told Homefront Clothing that I don't want the job.
Why? Started talking about my IQ rating,my hair and getting my teeth whitened, and I started getting this knot in my stomach.
You know,I drop in on 60-foot waves, and I don't get that knot.
I'm sorry.
No,don't be,you helped me.
You were right last night.
I laid awake in bed all night thinking about it.
I'm just not the teeth whitener.
What are you gonna do? Hopefully not hawking flip-flops out of the back of a van.
I know,right.
No,I'm gonna go back down to El Salvador.
Goofy-foot paradise.
Yeah,for a little while anyway.
It's a good place to regroup.
And surf.
You should come visit.
Maybe.
Maybe? Well,when you're done regrouping, give me a call.
I I'd better get going.
I can't afford another parking ticket if I ever want to come back here.
Okay,bye.
Bye,Bella.
This time,you're leaving me on the beach.
And I'm not asking you to take my picture.
Hey.
We're going to the beach you want to come? - Hurry up,my love.
- Coming,sweetie.
Oh,put the shower head back in,huh? Uh-huh.
Dude,it's practically a new board.
200 bucks,not a penny less.
Tell Shane his friend,Mini Van,sucks.
Shane went to El Salvador for a while.
Aw,I'm sorry unless you're not.
I'm not.
He's still in play.
He can be in play from El Salvador? No,but he can come back.
- I'm standing here waiting.
- All right.
- All right.
- Coming,coming.