The GOAT (2024) s01e04 Episode Script

[Daniel]
Previously on The GOAT.
Welcome to the GOAT Manor
"Untalented Show."
Let's move those hips.
They danced. They twirled.
A 50-year-old man
did whatever this was.
What is that move?
I think our only option to save
Justin is to shift the votes.
Would you be willing
to write down Lauren's name
to save Justin tonight?
[Daniel]
Then Lauren went home
Sweet, lovely,
kind-hearted Lauren.
The final vote
is for Lauren.
you, Wendell.
You backstabbing, dirty dog.
I'm gonna get you.
[Daniel]
These people are monsters.
Just watch your backs.
There's clearly a mole in the house.
It was all the guys and CJ.
you. I'm done.
She's gotta go.
I can't take her anymore.
The guys straight-up lied
to our faces.
And CJ, I don't trust her.
[theme music playing]
[bleating]
-[zipping]
-[CJ] Who's gonna help me carry this up?
What ya doin'?
I feel very betrayed by you.
You lied to me.
You said, "Oh, yeah,
I'm going to vote for Justin,"
and I'm very hurt by you.
Well, I'm sorry.
I am sorry!
-Day threw the game.
-I know.
She was okay
with any of us getting sent home.
-She was?
-Yes.
All the women think that I betrayed them
by voting out Lauren
and ruining
our girls alliance,
but, in my mind,
the girls alliance was ruined
when Day threw the challenge
and she was the only one safe.
[woman] Come on, Day!
Get up!
I wanna lose because I lost.
I don't wanna lose because
somebody has their feelings hurt.
-You liked Justin.
-I love Justin.
-You didn't want to eliminate Justin.
-No, I didn't.
-You didn't have a choice.
-Yeah.
If I let her do that, she would be
in charge of everyone
for the rest of the show.
-Why do you have a bag?
-I-I can't sleep in this tonight.
I know everybody's
very angry at you.
Okay. Yeah.
I had to just sneak
out of my room
to go find safety.
I'm, um, what's it called?
A refugee.
All right, you got a little somethin'.
All you need is a little somethin'.
I'm a refugee right now.
I'm grateful you're
upstairs with us.
I'm so happy to be here.
-We're welcoming you.
-Thank you.
Have a beautiful night.
[Kristen] But you've, like, now been rude.
Like, is it because you saw some
version of me on Vanderpump Rules?
You feel like you can
say shit like that?
Kristen, I was just
blindsided out there.
I didn't know that y'all had
already talked as a group collectively
and said we're gonna throw
the challenge to get him out.
I didn't fucking know.
Tonight was a shit-show
and I hope it never
happens again.
Kristen, you don't love
anybody but the bottle.
you. I'm done.
[Kristen] I'm out. Y'all are disgusting.
I just think that we all just need
to, like, take a deep breath
and remember this is a game.
[Justin] I wanna apologize
for what I said to you.
I felt like
you attacked me.
And, tonight, I let that person
I worked so hard on
come back out.
-I'm disappointed. Yeah.
-And clearly, I did too.
Emotions are high.
It's intense.
But that last thing
that I wanna do
is hurt another human's feelings
over a competition.
I wanna just say I appreciate you
giving us this opportunity to talk.
I couldn't go to bed
if I didn't. Honestly.
-I would not be able to go in there
-Yeah.
and feel like a person.
[Daniel]
Lots of drama cookin' in GOAT Manor.
-[goat bleats]
-Wonder what's for breakfast.
[Jason]
Hot taters! Hot taters!
Yum.
[Kristen] Would anyone like
some good juju spray?
Your hair looks
really good, Kristen.
-Juju spray?
-Like good, good, good energy.
Is this hypo-allogerm
-[Reza] "Hypo-allogermic"? Yes, queen.
-[laughing]
It's "hypo-allogermic."
-[Daniel] Hello.
-[all] Hello, sir!
-[imitates flourish]
-[others imitating flourish]
-Hello, herd.
-[Reza] What's up, Tosh?
I slept like a baby last night
A baby that watched its
12 parents turn on each other.
I'm gonna go have one of those
5-hour Energys.
Oh, watch this thing turn around.
See you guys later.
You guys need anything else?
You guys want me to pick you up anything?
This episode, we're saluting
all the heroes
of the medical-procedure
reality shows.
What's your favorite?
Botched? Dr. Pimple Popper?
-[Teck] Yeah!
-I love to pop a pimple.
I like watching
Dr. Pimple Popper.
-She's done my face.
-Really?
Today's challenge
may involve bodily fluids.
So, when you're ready,
throw on some scrubs,
-Here we go.
-and head over to our
al fresco
operating room.
-It's next to the driveway.
-[laughter]
-All right.
-[cheering and applause]
Bodily fluids?
I'm not ruining my outfit.
You wanna go see the scrubs?
Let's go scrub! Let's go scrub!
If I do this,
the hair is going down.
[Da'Vonne] At last night's elimination,
I got got.
It happens. You pick yourself up.
You move forward.
Today, we have a new GOAT challenge.
I need to get it.
Clearly, I need immunity.
And, so, that's where
my mind is.
She gotta be safe.
[laughter]
We're scrubbed in.
Get this outfit, please.
Film all this.
All to be the GOAT.
They can't say I'm not
committed to the character.
[laughter, chatter]
-Hey!
-[all] Hey!
Am I getting a facelift?
-Lemme see.
-Welcome to our celebration
of medical TV shows.
Today, we're going to have
a rejuvenating spa day.
-Hence, the outfit.
-[laughter]
Who's ready for a facial?
Okay.
We're gonna do some extractions
-[woman groans]
-Which are disgusting.
-[groans]
-Here's how the game works.
Take a look
at this poor fella
who refuses to exfoliate.
All of these balloons
are filled with goo.
[man] Wow!
Ew.
[Daniel]
One by one, you'll pop a balloon.
If your balloon is filled
with blue goo,
you're safe!
-[man] Blue goo.
-But ten of these balloons
are filled with disgusting
yellow puss.
-[groaning]
-Oh, if you pop a pussie one, you're out!
[Jill]
I love a nice, juicy whitehead.
You know, if it's all red,
it's not ready.
It needs to be ready.
It's gotta have a nice, white head.
And, then, just squeeze it together
and go boop!
[producer] Wow, sounds like
you're an expert.
So, you've
you've had a lot of them?
Oh, pimples? I've never had
a pimple in my life.
[Daniel] The last puss-free player,
will be crowned our new GOAT.
You'll have immunity.
You'll pick the teams
for the elimination challenge.
I'll give you a big ole hug.
-[groans]
-[Daniel] All right.
Let's squeeze some zits!
-[man] Yeah!
-[all cheering]
When I see my husband,
I'm, like, "Come here!"
What is that?
[squishing noise]
Yeah, I'm about to get the thing
poppin', baby.
You know, I'm gonna
pop these pimples.
Hopefully, I'm gonna get
all blue, you know.
There is no more strategies in here.
I think this is luck.
What we're gonna do today,
we just gotta be lucky,
that we're not gonna pop
the wrong pimple.
Okay, GOAT doctors.
We did a random draw,
which, I'm sure, many of you
will take issues with.
-[laughter]
-[Daniel] Okay, Reza.
You've been selected
to go first.
[Reza] I want to break this GOAT girl
winning cycle.
We need some male, big-dick,
GOAT-energy in the house.
Humble big-dick energy.
-[man] You got it, Reza!
-[chatter]
I feel like I'm the perfect person
to deliver that.
-[Teck] You already did it!
-[Wendell] Okay, Reza!
One, two, three!
[Daniel] Okay, go! Reza!
You are safe
and you remain in the game.
It tastes and smells
like Pepto.
-[laughter]
-All right. Joe!
[woman] There you go, Joe!
[Daniel] Whoo!
-[woman] Yeah!
-Oops!
-[cheering]
-Yeah!
-It's blue! It's blue!
-[cheering]
[cheering]
-[woman] He needs windshield wipers!
-[laughter]
[Daniel] It's a boy!
-[woman] Whoo!
-[Justin] I go for the one right on the nose
'cause I cannot be walkin' around
with no pimple on my nose.
-[groans]
-[groaning]
[Daniel] Oh, my goodness!
That was a gusher!
You guys didn't see that comin'.
-[woman] No.
-I'm covered in puss!
Justin, you are being discharged
-from this procedure.
-[laughter]
Not what I was hoping for.
So, now, I get to sit on the bench
and see how this
shakes down
because I'm all strategized out
at this point.
So, I gotta perform tomorrow.
I need to be in it to win it
with my team.
-Round two!
-Come on, honey. Get right on up here.
-[laughing]
-[all groan]
Damn! I thought this was gonna be
blue and it's yellow.
I am so mad.
-[popping noise]
-Damn.
That is disgusting.
-[man] Get it, Jill.
-Don't be No.
-No, that's
-[Kristen] Squeeze it, Jill.
-[Jason] Squeeze it.
-[Daniel] Just squeeze.
-[Justin] Right in there, Jill.
-[Jill] It's not popping
and I'm getting more anxious
by the second.
And I can't pop the pimple.
And I'm a very good
pimple popper.
[all] Squeeze!
-Thing won't pop!
-[Daniel] Come on.
[cheering]
[Daniel] There she is!
There she is, Jill!
Please don't be disgusting.
It's gonna be disgusting regardless.
-[all groaning]
-Oh, my goodness!
Lactating yellow. This challenge
is really testing my gag reflex.
This board is absolutely disgusting.
The face is musty.
The pimples are musty.
My opponents are musty.
Uh-oh. Oh, no!
Oh, no, Reza!
Got me. Right in the eye.
I popped a yellow zit
and I'm so deflated! Ha-ha!
-[Daniel] Oh, no!
-[all groaning]
[Da'Vonne] Damn! I knew that
was the wrong one.
It's wack. It's wack. It's wack.
-[Daniel] Oh!
-[cheering]
Oh, in the face!
Like a Smurf-gasm.
-[Daniel] Ooh! Oh! Oh! Oh.
-[all groaning]
[Daniel] Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
Oh, Wendell! Oh, Wendell!
You're safe from elimination,
but not the shame.
-[cheering]
-Come on, blue!
Okay, gimme that blue juju.
There's only one balloon
filled with blue "bleft."
Final four. So close.
Am I gonna be the GOAT?
Can I keep hitting blue?
I have to win.
[woman] Good job, final four.
-Mm.
-[Daniel] Kristen!
If you get the blue balloon,
that means that you are
the GOAT.
-No pressure.
-No pressure.
[Daniel]
No pressure.
Except for all the pressure
that's building up.
-Oh, gosh.
-All right.
[Kristen] After last night, I need the immunity.
I need to be the GOAT.
Please be blue.
Uh-oh.
-Oh, no! Kristen!
-[all groaning]
[Daniel] Oh, no! Oh, a bonus shot!
The puss is disgusting
and feels like defeat.
[all]
Go, Wendell!
Reminder to Wendell, if you pick
the only remaining blue balloon,
you will be the GOAT.
[brays like goat]
-That's the noise.
-That's a donkey.
-[man] That's the noise you want.
-[braying] Hee-yaw! That's a donkey.
A goat [trumpeting]
-[bleating]
-[braying]
[braying]
-[Daniel braying]
-When this yellow shit
hits me in the face
Oh, no. Wendell's gettin' in.
Wendell's gettin' in.
[cheering]
-[man] Pick yellow!
-[woman] Come on, Wendell. Please.
[groans] Big money. Big money.
[man] Big money.
[squirting noise]
[cheering]
-[clattering]
-[Jill] Oh, Jesus Christ.
-[chatter]
-[Wendell] I'm the first male GOAT out here.
I don't know, it just feels really good
to win this silly, silly challenge.
-Finally, a guy won! A guy!
-[Paola] Finally a guy!
That felt better than winning Survivor.
-Oh, my God.
-[cheering]
[Daniel] Wendell,
you will pick the teams
in the elimination challenge.
You will also receive immunity
unless
immunity is something
that can be bought.
-[oohing]
-[Daniel] Twist!
Wrinkle! Left-turn!
[laughing]
-Oh.
-Talk to me.
I would like to buy
your immunity from you
-for $5,000.
-[men] Whoa!
-$5,000!
-Someone bring me the big-honkin' check.
-[man] Oh!
-[Paola] Is that real?
-[all oohing]
-Yeah, that's real.
Oh, my gosh.
-Wendell.
-[Wendell] Mm-hmm.
[Daniel] Will you accept this enormous check
and take your chances
with the backstabbers
in the house?
-Get the money. Get the money.
-[Daniel] Or
as the GOA
do you want the immunity?
-Get the money.
-Get the money.
Wendell, this is
entirely up to you.
What's it gonna be?
-Do you like that wrinkle, Wendell?
-I don't need any more wrinkles on my skin.
That's very enticing.
As much as I wanna
take the money
-I'm gonna take the money!
-[cheering]
Oh! Give it to me!
What else?
Please, Wendell!
I gotta sign it.
I gotta sign it, Wendell.
Oh, yeah. Sign it, please.
-[cheering]
-Endorse it for a brother.
Endorse that.
Gimme my money!
Earning 5K feels really good.
Wendell, by taking
the sweet, sweet money,
you are foregoing immunity
and remain vulnerable
for elimination.
You will still pick the teams
for the elimination challenge.
They haven't given out
a monetary reward yet,
so, for me to be the first one
to earn this money,
it feels great, but I know
this puts a bigger target on me, so,
I'm gonna hope for the best.
[Daniel] See you guys tomorrow
for the elimination challenge,
very early,
6:30 AM.
-[groans]
-That's a joke.
-[laughter]
-[man] Thank you.
[bleating]
-[applause]
-Cash that money, baby.
Bring that big ol' check
on in here.
It feels good.
-[man] Good.
-It feels good.
[Wendell]
I decided to take the money because
my girlfriend is in
her third trimester.
We are pregnant.
I got a little bracelet that says "Dad."
It's something that I don't share
to the people in the house.
I'm not telling them
that I have a baby on the way.
It was a very hard decision
to even come
and be away from her.
I shouldn't be here,
so, I have to make the most of this.
I need to win this game
to set up my child and my family.
Uh, it's just You know.
I just, you know
I got a lot ridin' on it.
[Daniel] Ah, the classic
day-to-night timelapse.
What's for dinner?
What is that?
Panzanella salad.
-[Teck] We are not fucking around today.
-Roasted beets, goat cheese and balsamic.
[Teck] Okay.
[Jason] I am the feeder of all multitudes
here in the manor.
Cooking is part of my strategy
because if you cook
and feed the masses, honey,
then they're always happy.
[Wendell] I don't know if they told you,
but I was the GOAT today,
-so, I get a little extra sauce.
-You do. You get extra sauce.
If they voted me out at this point
in the game, honey,
they'd starve to death.
Anybody else have preference
on steak?
-[woman] Medium-rare too.
-Thank you, chef.
-[Wendell] Delicious pasta.
-[Joey] Throw some cheese on.
[Wendell and Teck]
Throw some cheese on that bitch!
-Ha-ha!
-[laughter]
People are just, like,
lightly smiling,
like, working together,
not sabotaging the pasta.
[laughing]
Strategizing.
Do you wanna talk at some point?
Okay.
I'm ready when you are.
Okay.
We made a great move
on Da'Vonne and her people last night.
And I still wanna play the game
with Da'Vonne in some capacity,
whether it's for a few votes,
whether it's till the end.
You wanna tell me
what happened last night?
-[chuckles]
-I apologize
for making what I thought
was a good game move last night.
I apologize.
Making the best move
for my people.
I apologize
for making that move.
I would like to work with you
going forward.
Okay, but
listening to your wording,
"for my people."
-I thought I was your people.
-You are my people.
[laughing]
I'm realizing more and more
how full of shit he actually is.
But I'm gonna let you
keep doing it.
I'm gonna smile
and grin and nod too.
I'm gonna make you think
you're finessing the hell out of me.
"Oh, Wendell,
you so silly."
[laughs] Shut the fuck up.
That's where I'm at.
Can we be on the same team tomorrow
and win a challenge?
I'm good with that.
Check on that.
Wendell is definitely
playing the Survivor game.
And I know his Survivor game.
So, that's an advantage for me.
I know how to work that.
And, moving forward,
I'm gonna work that.
Congratulations
on your 5,000.
-You were snoring. You snore.
-[CJ] Really?
-[Joe] Yeah.
-It's a cute snore though.
It's like [imitates soft snore]
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
I would hardly
consider that a snore.
[laughs]
Apparently, I'm snoring.
A sad thing to find out about
yourself is that you're a snorer.
Was it heavy breathing?
Yeah. It's deep relaxation.
[Daniel] Paging all doctors.
Paging all doctors
to our very legit
front yard operating room.
-[Da'Vonne] Open.
-[cheering]
[woman] Whoo!
Hello, herd!
-[man] Hey!
-[cheering]
Please don't ask me
if I've had work done.
Like most of you,
the answer is, "Yes."
-[laughter]
-Oh, my God.
[Daniel] In honor of our theme
of medical reality shows,
let's all share one medical
enhancement we've done.
Okay, Kristen,
what have you done?
I have had facial reconstructive surgery.
-From
-Facial reconstructive surgery?
I broke my orbital socket,
-so, I have titanium plates.
-[dinging]
-I have Botox. And occasionally I get lip-filler.
-[dinging]
-But not right now.
-[buzzing]
-Occasionally get lip-filler. Uh-huh.
-Yeah.
Anybody else wanna share one?
-Nobody?
-I had my gallbladder taken out.
-[chuckles]
-Good for you.
You look clean.
All right, it's time
for your fourth elimination challenge.
-Yeah.
-[cheering]
The winners will be safe and
the losing team will be in grave danger.
Wendell, your immunity
was bought for $5,000.
But you still
get to pick your team.
-So
-Give it up for Wendell!
-[cheering]
-[Daniel] All right, Wendell.
Who is your first pick?
[Wendell] For my first pick,
-Jason.
-Oh, well, thank you.
Thank ya, thank ya.
For my next pick Joe!
CJ!
My thought process for the teams,
I want two even teams.
Then I want to slightly skew
the team in my favor
so I have a better chance
at winning, a little bit.
-Da'Vonne.
-[Daniel] Da'Vonne!
[applause]
[Wendell] I gave up immunity, so,
I'm on the chopping block,
but, I think,
with these teams,
I'm setting myself up for success.
Okay, since the teams
are uneven this week,
Wendell, I need you to pick
a reality star
that will sit out this challenge.
And since they have to
stand by me,
please, someone
that's easy to talk to.
-[laughter]
-Got ya. Easy to talk to.
-Jill!
-[man] Jill!
[Daniel] Jill! This is a winner.
Oh, man.
-You got me for the day.
-[Daniel] That's exciting.
Jill, which team do you
wanna tie your fate to?
Feel free to pray on it.
-[Jill] Um
-Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu.
-Wendell.
-[Daniel] Okay, if they win, you are safe tonight,
but, if they lose,
you are also up for elimination.
I don't feel good.
I don't feel happy.
I don't like not getting picked
for the GOAT's team,
especially when the GOA
is my homeboy
and he doesn't have immunity.
Which means he is stacking
his team for a win.
That makes my balls tingle
in a bad way.
To the challenge!
In sticking with our theme,
today
we're playing a little game called
"Botched Operation."
-[man groans]
-[Daniel] In front of you
are two identical mazes.
Each team will choose
a surgeon.
On "GOAT," one by one,
the surgeon
will verbally guide
their blindfolded teammates
through the maze to retrieve
one of the plastic surgery items.
But, much like the board game
"Operation,"
don't touch the sides
or you're gonna get a little jolt.
[electric crackling]
-[Jason] Oh, shit.
-[Wendell] Oh!
-[CJ] Oh.
-[Daniel] That's right!
-The whole maze is wired up!
-Oh!
Okay, my huevas.
First herd to remove
all four items from the maze
and place them on the surgical table
[popping noise]
will be safe from elimination tonight.
So, huddle up,
pick your surgeons
and head to the starting line.
[cheering]
[Justin] I want you to listen
very clearly,
two steps forward,
a quarter-turn over your left shoulder.
-You guys, we can do good at this.
-[Kristen] Yeah.
[Reza] You're gonna do a great job.
-[Jill] Yeah, he's a dance instructor.
-[Reza] Yeah.
[Da'Vonne] I'm loud and articulate.
Everybody agree with that?
-[Wendell] Yeah.
-Works for me.
I feel good about being the surgeon
because it's my voice that they're
gonna listen to.
Also, I'm not blindfolded.
So, any foolishness that happens,
I'll be able to see it firsthand.
[Daniel] Is everybody ready?
-[all] Yes!
-[Daniel] Not Not you guys.
I'm talkin' to the EMTs.
Oh, no.
[Daniel] Surgeons, your team
is counting on you.
Don't botch this.
[laughter]
[Daniel] Ready, set, GOAT!
Four steps forward.
Four steps forward.
Straight, straight, straight.
Go, go, go, go.
Move to your left. Move to your left. Right there. Go.
Four steps forward.
Go, Wendell.
Go, go, go. Stop.
Go forward. Go forward.
Go, go!
-[buzzing]
-Go to your left. Go.
Damn it. I don't like getting shocked.
Now I know what a dog feels like.
Go forward two steps.
-[buzzing]
-Left! Left! Go to your left. Go to your left.
-Wendell, go to your left.
-[Daniel] If any of you
don't wanna experience an involuntary
bowel movement,
you should not
hit the wall.
-It's just that simple.
-Two more. Teck, turn to your left.
[makes buzzing sound]
It's "Shocka" Khan all over the place.
-Left!
-What are the helmets for?
Why are they wearing those?
[Da'Vonne] Go down. Come to your left!
Come to your left!
-Get up! Get up!
-[buzzing]
-That's why you wear the helmets.
-Get up! Get up!
[Justin] Go forward. Go forward.
You'll feel it.
Hug it. It's a mannequin.
Hug it. It's a mannequin.
[Da'Vonne]
Put your hands out. It's right there.
Grab! Right there. Grab!
Go. Duck down. Duck!
You turn around. Yup.
Forward. Yup.
Go forward. Going
back the way you came. Okay?
Straight. Come straight, baby.
Come straight.
Stop! Now come straight to me.
Straight to my voice.
Come straight to my voice.
You're gonna hit a wall. It's okay. Run!
Run to me. Great! All right.
Joe, come to your left.
-[Justin] Your left shoulder.
Now walk fast. Go fast!
Get out. Faster! Faster!
Kristen. And go.
Five steps forward. Now go.
Left, left, left, left.
Go down. Now go straight.
-No, no, no. Straight, straight, straight.
-[Justin] Three steps forward, Kristen.
-[Justin] Three steps forward!
-[Da'Vonne] Stop!
-[Da'Vonne] Go to your right.
-[Justin] Walk forward. Walk forward.
-Walk forward. Walk forward.
-I can't hear you.
-Run to your left, left, left.
-[Justin] And turn to the right. To the right.
-[Kristen] I can't hear you.
-And stop!
-[Da'Vonne] Straight. Straight. Stop!
-I can't hear you!
Turn to your left shoulder. Other way.
Left shoulder. Left shoulder.
You turn around.
-You ever get your right and left confused?
-No.
[Kristen] I know that Justin was giving
really great direction,
but I couldn't hear a damn word
he was saying half the time.
You turn. One. Line up.
Left should forward.
-You gotta hold up your left. You gotta hold the "L."
-"L" is left.
[Justin] Crawl right. Other way.
Right shoulder.
There you go.
Crawl forward.
And stand up.
Stand up, Kristen. Stand up.
It's right in front of you.
It's right in front of you. Grab it.
Grab it. Yeah, right there.
Now, turn the other way.
Now go straight.
I can be louder than everybody
in this house together.
So, if I can be louder than you
and distract your team
while guiding my team
perfectly through this maze,
it's a win for me.
Go to your right. To your right.
To your right. To your right.
[Joe]
Ow! You guys gotta stop hittin' me.
Day's havin' them bumpin' on purpose.
She's havin' them
rub a little bit.
Day's screaming the worst directions.
You're terrible at this.
What are you doing?
[Justin] Walk forward, three steps.
Turn to your right! To your right!
You're gettin' panicky. Slow down.
-You turn around.
-[Kristen] I can't hear you!
You turn around, Kristen!
You turn around!
Poor Kristen gets discombobulated.
She's getting stung left and right.
-Come on. Walk.
-[buzzing]
Other way. Other way, Kristen.
Other way.
[overlapping chatter]
-[bell dings]
-[Joe] Oh, I got stung so many times.
-[Daniel laughs]
-[Da'Vonne] Straight, straight, straight.
Straight, straight, straight, straight.
Hug the head!
Hug the head!
-Hug the head!
-[Teck] There you go!
[Justin]
Kristen, U-turn.
-[Wendell] CJ.
-[CJ] Yeah.
-[Wendell] We're one person ahead of them.
-[CJ] Okay.
[Wendell]
So, we're looking good.
[Justin] Stand up, Kristen!
Stand up, baby girl.
-Walk back, Kristen!
-Come on, Kristen.
-[Justin] Honey!
-[Wendell] Ten feet ahead of you.
Keep walking!
Down. Table's in front of you.
-[dinging]
-[Daniel] Oh, my goodness. Solid.
Okay, how's Kristen doin'?
[Justin] Honey! Walk back!
-Say it!
-[Teck] Walk to your left!
Kristen, walk to your left! Shh!
[Teck] There you go.
[Justin] Turn over your right shoulder!
Right there!
Kristen, I think she was saying,
"I can't listen.
I can't listen. I can't listen."
And I'm standing up there blindfolded
and I'm listening to Justin very, very clearly.
Stand up. You've gotta go,
baby girl. Stand up.
Perfect! Go forward two steps!
[Da'Vonne] Go to your right!
Right there! Oh!
[Teck] On the ground.
On the ground.
One, two, three.
Now turn over your left shoulder.
-Four. Fast, fast, fast, fast.
-[buzzing]
You really gotta trust
the process today.
[Da'Vonne] It's on the floor.
You got it. Okay.
Come to your Come straight.
Straight! Straight! Straight!
-Straight!
-Left! Left! Left! Sit down!
And here we go. Reza!
-[dinging]
-[Reza] Hold on, hold on.
Go forward five steps fast.
One, two, three.
CJ! CJ, you're almost done.
If CJ puts this down first,
Purple Team wins.
[Wendell] Put it down right there.
Winner, winners!
-[Da'Vonne] Chicken dinners.
-[Daniel] Chicken dinners.
-[Wendell] Good job.
-[Da'Vonne] Good job.
[Daniel] Yeah, you guys. Okay.
[Da'Vonne] I'm sorry I got y'all
shocked so much. I'm so sorry.
-[chattering]
-[Wendell] Guys, great, great job.
It feels really good to be safe.
I gave up my immunity
for five grand,
which felt really good.
But it feels even better to have that
five grand and to now be safe tonight.
Wow, can this go on here?
How were they that fast?
[Paola]
What happened?
You got turned around a lot, girl.
-[Kristen] I couldn't hear anything.
-[Justin] I know.
-[Justin] Fuck.
-[Kristen] Sorry, guys.
They won. I didn't even play.
-Sorry, guys.
-That's okay.
I am so angry. I was the only one
who didn't get to participate in this.
I really wanted to prove myself today.
[sighs] I just need to have faith that
the people that I trust
won't be voting me out.
So fucking angry.
Congrats to the Purple Team.
You are the winners
of this challenge.
That means Kristen, Teck, Pao,
-Kristen!
-[Daniel] Reza and Justin
are up for elimination tonight.
Today's ultimation is the first time
I'm gonna be sitting across from Tosh
as opposed to next to the GOAT.
All right, you guys are gonna
have some difficult decisions to make
so, head on inside
and make some riveting TV.
-See you at the ultimation.
-[Justin] Thank you, brother.
[Justin] Let's do it.
I'm not gonna go into this thinking
I'm a hundred percent safe
'cause we saw what happened
to sweet ol' Lauren.
I don't wanna go home!
[Justin] Good job, boys and girls.
-Good job.
-I'm sorry you didn't get to go.
I know. I fucking was
the only one who didn't go.
That was so quick.
I thought it would be longer than that.
[Kristen] I should've just told you
I was deaf as hell
and you have to scream at me.
-And I was like
-[Justin] But you also went out of the bounds.
And I was, like, "Just breathe in."
You're like, "But I can't!"
-And it was at that point.
-[Kristen] I tried.
-[Justin] You did.
-[Paola] I feel like shit
going to the chopping block
for the fourth time.
I'm, like, my blood is boiling
at this point.
Like, look, I love Kristen.
I love her.
She's my friend,
but gosh.
All right, we gotta talk.
I know I'm going home, it's okay.
I've accepted it.
Don't say that. They don't want that.
No one else
Reza's not going home or Paola.
What about Justin?
Uh-uh.
He gave the directions.
Yeah. I'm the one who lost it
for the team,
so, I deserve it.
I think my biggest takeaway
from being on Vanderpump
for so many years
was really just to check myself
and to take that accountability
and not blame the whole world
for all the problems that are on my shoulders.
It sucks, but it's my fault.
Everything was everyone else's fault
and the whole fucking world was against me
and I've grown light years
since that day.
I don't want her going home.
We can't lose another girl.
-Who's goin' home?
-Kristen.
No, no. Listen.
She's saying it's her fault.
But is it her fault if she couldn't hear?
But you need to tell her to say that
in her defense.
Well, she keeps on saying, "It's my fault.
I know I'm going home."
She doesn't shut the fuck up.
Female energy
is very important.
If you take out three girls in a row,
that's not good energy.
I don't care who it is.
As long as he's got two legs and a penis,
I want him out
of the house.
Do you like that line?
Do you want me to say it
in a different way and not use P-word?
Pao-Pao, Pa-Pao.
Are you in here?
-You know where Pao is?
-[Jill] No.
-Put her drink down. Just put it down.
-Teck told me to give this to her.
[Jill]
Just leave 'em both there, baby.
Okay, bring yours. Come.
One, number one,
you have got to stop saying
it was your fault.
I just feel more at peace accepting it
than, like
You don't wanna fight?
I think you should fight for it.
I think you should talk to the boys
and say, "Listen, I couldn't hear it."
But then who goes out?
We need to figure out
how to find somebody
This is where she comes through.
We gotta find somebody
that is a bigger target than you.
That room has to get broken up.
Gentlemen, what are we thinkin'?
If we all go Kristen,
we have the numbers.
Is it that easy, because
Kristen feels the heat on her.
She understands
we can get that done.
It would feel like a clean move
-[Teck] Yeah, that's what I'm sayin'.
-because it's based off of merit.
[Reza] I realized early on
Kristen was a loose cannon.
We had a Bravo alliance.
But, you know, I had to put
Bravo on pause
because she's annoying as fuck.
She has emotional outbursts
and she performed
very poorly today.
And if you put all that
in a blender,
it's a shitty Kristen margarita
and it'll get you fucked up.
It's time for her to go.
Jason's safe. Wendell's safe.
ButJustin and Reza are up.
It's you or Reza.
The boys and CJ are not gonna vote
any boys out.
Listen, the power has gotta
get broken at some point.
You can't have all of them here.
You need to go
and offer yourself up as a number.
"If you guys keep me safe
for tonight,
I'll be a number in
who you guys want to get out."
Pull the same shit
she did.
The same amount of dog-eat-dog
she had for Lauren,
you need to get it.
So, have the conversation
with Wendell
because Wendell's
the big dog.
He's gonna have to start
picking off boys real soon.
Don't give up.
Never give up.
Damn it. Jill's right. My bossy
little princess from New York.
Like, what am I thinking just giving up?
That's not who I am.
If I'm going out,
I'm going out fighting.
So, number one,
I have your back
and I will be a number
for you
because I just really like being here
and I really like
testing myself.
-That's what I'm here to do.
-Mm-hmm.
I'm not a hundred percent convinced
that I will write your name down.
The guys kind of have
a super-majority right now.
-[Kristen] Correct.
-There's dramatically less
CJ is also, like,
one of the guys.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
At this point, I'm still willing
to reconcile with Kristen.
Because I would like her as a number.
It's gonna be a tough decision.
You have four women.
The critical mass is six.
So, you need to go 'cause time is ticking.
-Listen to me, Kristen.
-Mm-hmm.
[Jill] You need to get Joe.
If you can get one more
and go back to Wendell,
you might be able to do something.
That might convince me
a little more.
-Okay.
-[Wendell] Okay?
I know Wendell, typically,
goes with the majority.
Well, then I have to start
going down the list
so I can find a majority
to put a target on Reza.
[Daniel] Ominous exterior night shots
can only mean one thing
time to vote.
I'm not putting "Kristen" down.
I said I wouldn't and I won't.
We can't have the boys outweigh the girls.
They'll just pick us off one at a time.
-[ratting]
-[whispers] Reza.
Kristen.
[whispers]
That's the only way to vote.
[whispers]
Kristen.
I get that I was the weak link
in this particular challenge.
[whispers] Reza.
But I wanna stay here.
I wanna win the money.
I want to be here
till the fucking bitter end.
-I hate that goat.
-[bleating]
[bleating]
Oh, here they come.
Oh! Oh, my
Each one more beautiful
than the next.
You guys look real good tonight.
-Hello, herd!
-[Da'Vonne] Hey!
Welcome to your fourth ultimation.
Thank you for bringing
your paperweights with you.
For one of you, your bid
to be the greatest of all time
ends tonight
as does your shot at $200,000.
It also means your golden goat
will be fondue.
-Let's get to the votes.
-Yeah, let's.
Oh-ho, shit!
Oh, shit!
[chuckles, exhales]
The first vote is for
-Kristen.
-[dinging]
-Reza.
-[dinging]
The next vote is for Reza.
[dinging]
This doesn't feel good.
I got my name called out twice.
And I'm pretty shocked.
Whatever happens tonight,
happens.
But, obviously, I want
Kristen to go home
more than ever.
[Daniel]
The next vote
is for Kristen.
[dinging]
-Reza.
-[dinging]
That's two Kristen.
Three votes for Reza.
The next vote
is for Kristen.
[dinging]
[Kristen]
I don't wanna leave GOAT Manor.
I wanna keep competing.
I wanna win. I'm not a sore loser.
But I'm a really happy winner.
-Kristen.
-[dinging]
-Kristen.
-[dinging]
Kristen, that's five votes.
One more and you will be eliminated.
The next vote
-is for Kristen.
-[dinging]
The remaining two votes
were also for you.
[dinging]
Kristen, I'm sorry.
You're exiled from GOAT Manor.
You are not the greatest
reality contestant of all time.
Do you have anything
you'd like to say
before my latest
iconic send-off line?
I would like to say
to all of the men who voted me out
Every single man
[Lauren laughing]
Like, are you that threatened
by the women in the house?
Oh, that hurts, huh?
[Justin] We uplift women.
We celebrate women.
Just because it's not you, honey,
don't make it about gender.
[Kristen] You guys are so scared
of the women,
that you need to have
men-majority ruling the house.
You're not playing fair.
Is that your version of mansplaining?
"This is a men versus wom"
Bitch, this is not the '50s.
You did not burn your bra, bitch.
No one wants to deal
with Hurricane Kristen anymore.
This is her time to bounce!
I would like to say
that I really love
my girls so much.
-And we love you.
-[Kristen] Friends forever.
-We love you.
-[Kristen] Like family.
But, CJ,
you're, honestly,
the worst of the worst.
-Kristen, you said you were
-Uh, it's my turn to talk.
How ridiculous.
You're not a girl's girl.
You're with the guys.
Has anyone here been
personally attacked and victimized
by Regina George?
It's a Mean Girls reference.
[applause]
That's bizarre.
But I think she left
with a lot of grace.
Much more than
I would've expected.
Whoo, damn.
That was a dig.
-Category two?
-No, that was a three.
-That was a three.
-Tropical storm at best.
[thunder rumbles]
Uh-oh.
-Oh, no.
-Hey, um, CJ. CJ.
Security?
Oh, wait! There's more!
-[Kristen] CJ.
-Oh, no.
I meant what I said.
You are the worst of the worst.
You're not here for women.
This is about you taking the men's side,
not only in this house,
-[plane engine roaring]
-but in this world.
Could you say that
after the plane passes?
[CJ] Kristen is mad
that I eliminated a woman.
And her reaction
was to tear down a woman
from the stance of her feminism.
None of it made sense.
I'm wildly unentertained.
[yawning]
[Kristen]
That felt so good.
I'm not leaving here crying
and whining
like everyone assumed
that I would
The men
would assume that I would.
[kissing]
I came into GOAT Manor
as a "docu-follow"
reality personality.
I knew nothing
about competition series.
For the men to be targeting
only the women in the house
It's just stupid.
Those boys think
it's a man's world.
But they wouldn't be nothin'
without a woman or a girl.
Bye, GOAT Manor.
And the Nighttime Emmy goes to
That's a Daytime Emmy, player.
That's daytime.
For the rest of you,
in the words of Bethany Frankel,
"Go to sleep! Go to sleep!"
Whoo!
I'm the baddest of them all.
She don't know.
Did you hear?
[Reza] Bro, you botched
the competition
and you're throwing
CJ under the bus?
I'm gonna go put my goat
back in its pen.
There you go, baby. I'm sorry
Kristen made me take you out.
Okay, everybody
take the temperature down.
[Reza] Not cool at all.
Someone who we liked
in this house a half an hour ago
-just left and packed up.
-[Reza] Not cool at all though, Jill.
That was a spectacle
and it was despicable.
I'm glad she's gone.
You don't talk
to people like that.
She doesn't deserve to be here.
Bye, bitch.
Don't stamp on someone's grave.
She just got thrown out of the house.
Don't kick her when she's down.
He's ranting and raving
and it's not nice.
We've gotta get Reza out
because he is toxic in the house.
And I don't want toxicity.
-Tomorrow's a new day.
-Tomorrow's a new day.
Tomorrow's a reset. GOAT.
-One of us.
-I'm trying.
I think that Kristen
did us a favor.
-Mm-hmm.
-And her parting words to them,
hopefully, sunk in
that you better not go
for my bitches next.
It's not gonna be good for you.
[Da'Vonne] Goin' into this next
GOAT challenge tomorrow is huge.
The numbers are out of my hand
right now.
But as soon as I can get
them numbers back in my hand,
I'm gonna flip this house
upside down.
[goat bleating]
[Daniel]
At the end of this episode,
two of you will be exiled
from GOAT Manor.
Surprise. Panic.
[screaming]
Holy
That changes things.
It's a double-elimination.
This challenge
is extremely important.
Some shady
is gonna go down.
[Joe] All right, Teck.
In between the numbers. Let's go.
[Justin]
Come on, Teck.
[Da'Vonne]
What the
[Jason]
What you got, Wendell?
[Jill] We got it, guys.
[groaning]
Strike!