The Great Indian Kapil Show (2024) s01e04 Episode Script

1
Come on.
Kapil! Kapil! Kapil! Kapil!
This way.
Kapil! Kapil! Kapil! Kapil!
Stop crying.
Kapil, who is she?
Did you marry her?
Do I get married every week?
The poor thing was wandering
around the airport for so long.
Her husband is missing.
Did you kidnap him?
Look.
Please don't cry. Be patient.
-Our show is streaming in 190 countries.
-Yes.
Now, show your face.
Wherever your husband is,
-he will come when he sees you.
-Yes.
What is this?
It's a QR code.
How about some token money
since my face will be seen
in 190 countries?
One, two, three.
Amazing!
You're expecting tokens for this face?
This face deserves a beatdown.
Are you sure you are missing
a husband and not a wife?
What is this? Someone has written
"K" on your forehead.
What is this?
I have applied sindoor
representing my husband's name.
Huh?
-What?
-His name is Kamlesh.
-I see.
-Yes.
"Kam" in Hindi and "less" in English.
What is your name?
Kamlesh's wife.
I'm sure you had a name
before you got married.
Yes. Brijmohan's daughter.
If the police were
to document your report,
how would you identify yourself?
If they register my complaint today,
it will be Kamlesh's wife.
In two years' time,
it will be Bittu's mommy.
But Bittu's mommy will only be possible
once I find my husband.
I can't find my husband.
If I were your husband,
you wouldn't find me either.
Take a look over there.
Is one of them your husband?
That's a group.
How can a whole group be my husband?
Look at that gentleman there.
Will he do?
He seems like he's already done.
How much more will he do?
Kaps! Kaps!
Kaps!
Oh, my God! Customer!
Ma'am, what would you like to have?
I would like to have my husband.
I can't find him.
Do we have this item?
I think he is your husband
because he will not find
a better-looking wife.
You hear that? He insulted two people
with just a single line.
Well, tell us about your husband.
Give us some details.
Three months back,
he had surgery for a hernia.
Do we have to pull down every man's pants
to check who your husband is?
She's unbelievable!
Any other identifying features?
His digestive system is somewhat weak.
He uses a Western toilet.
You expect us to check
every bathroom to find your husband?
Exactly.
Everything needs to be opened now.
Hello. Give us a detailed description
of how your husband looks.
I've never seen him,
I'm always wearing a veil.
-You've never seen him?
-He would only lift my veil to kiss me.
So when he lifted your veil to kiss you,
-you must have seen his face!
-Yes!
No, when anyone kisses me,
I close my eyes.
-Anyone?
-I'm very romantic like that.
Excuse me.
Is your husband a snake charmer?
How did you know?
If he kisses this lyre-like face of yours,
he can only be a snake charmer.
You know what? Don't stress about it.
I am familiar with every corner
of this airport.
I will go and find him.
Don't worry.
I will be right back.
It appears that your husband
has abandoned you.
With your permission,
the least I can do
is find a husband for you
from this crowd.
No way. I have spent a lot of time
with my husband.
I can't take such a crucial step
without thinking it over first.
It's just not done.
Well, think about it.
I've thought about it.
Now find me one.
You were so easily convinced!
I can be convinced very easily.
That's what sets me apart
from other girls.
You have seen the product.
Anyone willing to marry her?
Where are those gentlemen going?
Return to your seat. Sit down.
Everyone was fine when it was a joke.
But when it's time to commit to marriage,
you're running away!
Get back there! Sit down!
Sit down, you two.
Sit.
They're not necessarily running away
because of you.
Your face often reminds people
of a bathroom.
Maybe they
You didn't let those poor guys go.
A landline ringing on a mobile phone?
Hello?
Yes. Send them over quickly.
Security has found two guys.
Take a close look.
Maybe one of them is your husband.
Bring them quickly!
Wow!
Wow!
That one. That's my husband.
-What?
-This is my husband. I've found him!
How can he be your husband?
He's already married.
I am also married.
-He is
-What is the K for?
-What?
-What does that K stand for?
-It's my husband's initial.
-K is also my wife's initial.
Well, that makes us siblings!
He ruined the entire script.
He doesn't believe you. You're not his
All right. It's fine.
It's okay if he doesn't believe me.
But, you know, maybe my husband
is watching this episode.
How about we make a viral video?
-Okay?
-Okay.
This hope
This longing I have for you
This hope
This longing I have for you
Oh, beloved!
You are the only one I love
Oh, beloved!
You are the only one I love
Hey! Listen, Kamlesh's wife!
A few flights are scheduled
to depart now. Go and check.
-Take her along.
-Come here.
-See you later.
-All the best.
Let's go. Let's go to security.
We'll get you checked as well.
Vicky paaji, Sunny paaji.
Welcome to our cafeteria.
-Thank you.
-This is Kaps Café at the airport.
Kaps Café!
If you ever have a flight to catch,
treat this as your own café.
Make sure you stop by.
-I will.
-So you'll serve them free coffee!
She's forever ready to snatch up freebies!
Vicky has been on our show
a couple of times
when it was only being broadcast in India.
And now, our show is streaming
in 192 countries
Awesome!
Yet bhai hasn't forgotten me.
That speaks volumes about his character.
Oh, come on!
Sunny is meeting me for the first time
now that I've surpassed
all bounds of popularity!
Sunny paaji, we always praise ourselves.
-I see.
-You're here on our show today.
We praise you,
but who is going to praise us?
-Correct. So, you do it yourself?
-Netflix
We don't rely on others.
We're self-sufficient, you see?
Even when Netflix came to us,
they said, "We love your show.
Bring it over to Netflix."
"We've heard many praises about you."
I asked from who, and they said,
"We heard it from you."
So, we firmly believe in this.
Both of you brothers
are looking very handsome.
You know what normally happens?
When the older brother
wears something and steps out,
the younger one observes him
and wonders, "What is he wearing?"
Did you check what Vicky
was wearing today?
-No.
-With us, it's the opposite.
I see.
Between us, Sunny has more
knowledge about fashion.
-I see.
-I have absolutely no idea.
So, I always follow him.
I ask him what he likes,
and what, according to him, is good,
that's how I know
what is trending these days.
Do you pinch his clothes?
We're almost the same height I think.
It's pretty handy.
That doubles up our wardrobe.
-Correct.
-Good idea.
Every time my older brother bought
new clothes and ironed them before bed,
I'd get up before him,
put them on and go out!
-Yes.
-That happens, right?
It has happened with us.
Whether siblings are ordinary
or superstars,
they all behave the same way.
-Right?
-We've had many fights.
-For the TV remote, clothes
-Do you still fight?
-No, not anymore.
-Not anymore.
See, when you become superstars,
you don't fight anymore.
They were fighting
when they weren't superstars.
Then you must still be fighting.
Well, we were speaking of brothers.
I've seen that Sunny follows Vicky.
He did a film on the army,
then he did a series on the army.
-A series.
-Yes.
Before becoming an actor,
he used to assist.
And he too has assisted.
And the important part is that
he was born to Kaushal sahab
-Then he was born too!
-So was he!
So you decided from the very beginning
that you would follow Vicky.
That's where it all began.
Come on, paaji. Welcome, both of you.
-Thank you, paaji.
-Look here. This is our sofa.
Vicky paaji, has it ever happened to you
that a producer came over to your house,
narrated something to you,
and you said, "It's a nice subject,
but I've done something similar."
So, do you allow the producer to leave?
Or do both of you surround him like
"If not me, then he'll do it."
Have you ever done that?
No, we haven't done that yet.
If Parmeet sir is offered a script
and he turns down the offer,
she volunteers to take on male roles too.
Vicky and Sunny's father,
Sham Kaushal sahab
is a popular action director
within the industry. Everyone knows that.
At times, I wonder that there are people
who recognize Sham sir.
That's okay.
Now imagine he's on a flight,
seated next to someone
who doesn't know he's an action director.
Sham sir's assistant calls,
and Sham's explaining a scene to him.
"Do as I say.
Hold him from the back."
"Strike him on the head with a stick,
then shoot him twice."
The other passenger would flee!
Right?
We don't know what a person
has been through during their struggles.
We crack many jokes about Archana ji,
but the struggles
she has seen in her life
No, seriously.
Actually, she was the action director
before Sham sir.
But in one of the films, she grabbed
an elephant by the trunk and threw it.
The elephant was wounded.
Since then,
everyone began using animals from VFX.
-Since then, we see the disclaimer
-"No animals were harmed."
"No animals were hurt
while shooting the film."
That's where it started.
Imagine the multitude
of talents I possess!
-That's true. I've been saying
-I can do male roles.
Twist an elephant's trunk,
and whatnot. Right?
Does that lock around your neck
prevent your head from falling off?
You look beautiful. Love you, ma'am!
Oh, my God.
Archana ji had a question, Vicky paaji.
Here's what would happen
when we had guests over.
My father loved to sing,
so he would tell me,
"Beta, sing something for them."
When you had guests over,
did Sham sir ever tell you,
"Throw a kick at your uncle"?
I used to dance for them.
What we did was,
for cultural events in our building,
-we would
-26th January.
Yes, 26th January,
we had cultural events in our building
and we would participate.
-We would prepare a coordinated dance.
-You both did?
-Yes, us both.
-Okay.
So, what used to happen was
the guests who came over
between one January 26th and the next,
we used to showcase our previous
performance to them together,
in the hall.
What used to happen was,
"They dance really well. Show them."
And we used to start the music ourselves
because we were ready to dance.
And start.
If we knew someone was
coming over for dinner the next day,
we would be stressed
from the previous day.
-Because you'd have to perform!
-We'd have to dance the next day!
This used to be some sort
of pre-dinner event.
We had to dance.
All the kids share the same stories.
For us, it was if we sang for them,
they would leave
one of the samosas for us.
Some of the guests were so starved,
they would even lick the chutney!
-Did anyone get reprimanded or punished?
-At home?
-Yes.
-Both of us.
-Both of you?
-Yes.
By your mom or your dad?
Mom used to punish us
on a regular basis.
Well, she still does.
-Yes. Right.
-She still does.
-She still does?
-It happens quite often that she'll go
"How dare you!"
As for Dad, there used to be
a couple of important events every year.
And they came about
four or five times a year.
Those would be the important
and memorable ones.
I can imagine,
because my father had a normal job,
whereas your father was
and still is an action director.
He likely had several ideas
for disciplining you.
Oh, great!
Oh, my goodness!
-We have guests.
-Amazing.
Sunny Kaushal ji. Vicky Kaushal ji.
I'm sorry.
-It's okay.
-Yeah.
I can't believe it.
Can I make a phone call, brother?
-Yes, of course.
-Just one phone call.
-It's urgent.
-This is our chef.
Sometimes, we detach his head
to place roti inside.
Hello.
Hey, Lallan! Didn't I tell you
I work at Vicky Kaushal's house?
Yes. He is sitting in front of me.
I see him every day.
I work at his place
so I meet him every day.
Yes. Do you want to hear his voice?
Hang on.
Let me get him on the phone.
Sir, only once, can you say,
"How's the josh?"
"How's the josh?"
How's the josh?
Heard that?
All right now, I'm a busy man.
I'm in a conversation with the Kaushals.
I'll hang up now.
Why do you keep lying?
It's necessary, sir.
If I tell people in my town
that I work for Vicky Kaushal,
I can easily get a loan.
I see.
You know, Vicky ji, Sunny ji,
once I made the mistake
of telling them that I worked for him.
Forget about getting a loan,
they took away everything
in my house, including my aunt.
Including your aunt!
Oh, man.
When will my sorrows end?
-Sunny ji, it's really nice to meet you.
-Thank you.
You know, you remind me
of my younger sister.
-Why?
-I see.
She eloped with a guy like him.
Why do you look so happy about it?
Because the guy was like him,
but the girl was like me.
First things first, Sam Bahadur.
A huge round of applause.
Fantastic, sir! Fantastic!
Honestly speaking,
I didn't see you in that film
because I only saw the character.
It was amazing and unique.
I truly loved it.
Sir, you did the film Sam Bahadur,
but it's your brother
who did a really brave deed.
-How?
-He quit CA studies.
-Yes.
-What was the brave deed?
Despite his father knowing thousands
of ways to beat him up,
his son still decided to quit his studies.
You took a big risk, brother.
That really is a brave deed.
-You showed bravery
-Thank you.
I will show you Madhuri.
Please, Dhaniya, don't do that!
You'll end up vomiting the bottle gourd
you swallowed this morning!
Go back inside and work.
I will leave if you want me to,
but I will give some advice before I go.
Vicky ji, whenever Katrina ji
cooks vegetables for you
-Yes?
-and if there's not enough salt in it,
then call me.
-Will you fix it?
-No, I will share his grief.
Can anyone say anything to their wives?
Anyway, choose one finger, bro.
Oh, man!
Now I have to go from here.
-What if I had chosen the other finger?
-Then I would have to go from there.
Okay, sir.
We'll meet again, bro.
See you soon.
Everyone here has witnessed this.
Typically, in an Indian family,
when the older brother gets married,
the younger brother tends to become
more refined, behaving like a gentleman.
They can't say it directly.
They just say,
"Dad, build a room for me upstairs."
Parents understand that
the younger one also wants to get married.
So, Sunny, how educated are you?
What are your qualifications?
I studied B.Com
I didn't ask about building another room
because it's not possible in Mumbai
-as someone else lives on the top.
-Right.
But do you intend to get married soon?
Not right now,
but maybe in a few years.
-In Bandra.
-Bandra?
In a couple of years.
Before getting married,
men celebrate Valentine's very grandly.
You've been married for two years now.
What is the situation after two years?
Does the husband still go looking
for his wife's favorite chocolate?
Or does he have to temper
the lentils at home?
Did you see any difference in Valentine's
before and after marriage?
No. Earlier, the goal was to spend
quality time together on Valentine's.
And even now, the goal remains the same.
Actually, every day is Valentine's
when you love someone.
Do you believe in this too, Sunny?
Do you think Valentine's Day
should be celebrated on 14th Sharvari
I mean 14th February
What is this?
Every day is Valentine's Day
when you love someone, right?
Every day is 14th Sh February.
Nobody is waiting for your response.
-The punch has landed!
-Already done!
Vicky paaji, Sunny, I will ask both
of you questions about each other.
And you must answer them.
If you think your answer could
be bitter and you don't want to say it,
you will have to drink
this bitter potion instead.
Bring it, please.
Raju's here. He'll blow you away.
Here you go.
This is a welcome drink.
From us two brothers to you two brothers.
Since when did you become my brother?
Since you came on Netflix.
I only befriend rich people.
So, Vicky paaji
Hey, why are you standing?
Take to the ground.
Can I take my leave?
I have a better idea, take some poison.
Wait a minute.
Comments like these
make the potion taste less bitter.
Fantastic!
He must have pondered all night
on the punch he intended to deliver.
-Vicky paaji.
-Yes, paaji.
What talent of Sunny's
do you think might create issues
if it's disclosed?
Actually, honestly speaking,
I can't think of a talent of his
that could be very problematic.
But he's genuinely very talented
when it comes to cooking.
-He cooks really well.
-Okay.
Other than that,
he can write songs and poetry.
-Wow!
-I think if all of this is revealed,
then that could be a problem
because it's too good to be true.
But, you know, I won't pass up
any chance to poke fun at him.
But he's genuinely
-He's genuinely talented.
-That's very good.
Which talent of Vicky's do you think
might cause problems if it's disclosed?
I think it would be his singing.
-What?
-He sings?
I mean, there could be a problem
if he starts singing.
-I see.
-Okay, that way.
But he sings very passionately.
He can't sing,
but he does it with a lot of passion.
That signifies the mark of a good artist.
You don't know whether
it was meant as a compliment or an insult.
"Can't sing, but he does it with passion."
Vicky, what habit of Sunny's do you think
he should change before getting married?
How are you so good?
I don't get it
What can I say?
He can cook.
You can look at his closet.
It's always clean.
I always get scolded for this at home.
"Look at his closet and look at yours."
But, Sunny,
you're good husband material.
I feel that way now.
I never thought that way.
I think that's what I should
change about myself
so that the wife also
gets a chance to do something.
Of course.
But don't be too proud
of all your talents.
Do you know about her husband?
She doesn't go to the parlor.
Every Sunday,
Parmeet sir does her threading.
Like this
You know
There are many more talented
people in the world.
Which habit of Vicky's do you think
he should change now that he's married?
I don't think I can
answer this question now.
Why?
I don't live with you anymore.
Yes, but
Is there a funny story about Sunny
that's always joked about at home?
Perhaps from his childhood.
In our childhood,
we used to live in a chawl.
In the mornings, Dad would go
to the nearby store to buy bread.
-I see.
-And he always wanted to accompany Dad.
He was this small.
Many times, Dad would walk ahead,
only to turn around
and realize Sunny was missing.
He'd disappear.
He'd be found in the gutter!
Why?
No one knew
why he would fall in the gutter!
I have this memory of him
when he was a little boy.
Buckets of water would be poured on him
because he kept falling into the gutter
and became covered in dirty black water!
Dad stepped out for bread
but returned with a kid from the gutter!
I don't know what was with him!
-People rushed to get him out of there.
-Outside our home
The kid set his sights on the sky
from the beginning.
A lotus has bloomed from the gutter!
Very nice!
How sweet!
Is there a story about Vicky
that still embarrasses him?
Perhaps from his childhood,
school or college.
As a child, he would talk in his sleep.
-I see.
-People usually blabber in their sleep.
But he would give a performance
in his sleep!
-I would
-Born actor.
Absolutely! I would often wonder
if he was awake or asleep.
I still remember.
One night, I was going to bed.
He had gone to bed
30 or 45 minutes before me,
so he was in deep sleep.
I was preparing to go to bed.
We used to share a room.
Suddenly, he got up, flung
the blanket away and said, "Check it!"
I said, "What?"
He said,
"The paper is complete. Check it."
-I used to talk with my eyes open.
-His eyes were open!
With my eyes open.
"My paper is complete. Check it."
And by that time, I understood
that you can't jolt him out of it.
Otherwise, he will get startled.
-So I had conversations with him.
-I see.
So I would sit there and say,
"I checked it. It's too good, bhai."
"You scored 100 out of 100.
Now go back to sleep."
And that's when he would
-Oh my God!
-This happened with Mom as well.
I see.
I was sleeping.
I got up and said,
"He snatched your purse!"
-I was there too!
-Yes.
And Mom didn't know about my condition,
so she said, "Who?"
Raju!
Raju is here!
He'll blow you away!
Raju.
Raju is here, but we're not
blown away. Clear this out.
You have to give me a chance first.
If you keep assigning me tasks like this,
how will I blow anyone away?
He's right.
Audience, pay attention.
Airhostess Mona of Late Airways
has landed.
Amazing!
-Hi.
-Hello.
Welcome!
This is fantastic!
I'm a big fan of you two.
-Thank you.
-I really like you.
Thank you.
-Your beard is nice.
-Thank you.
I am confused.
Should I talk to the older brother
or the younger one first?
Talk to anyone you want.
-Fine, I'll talk to the older one first.
-Okay.
Yes, bade bhaiya!
We are at the café.
Yes, both Vicky Kaushal
and Sunny Kaushal are here.
Yes. From Sunny as well
From the younger brother as well?
All right. Okay, bye.
Sir, could both of you lend me
a thousand rupees each?
-A thousand rupees for what?
-In the name of God.
Actually, my elder brother
is the chief beggar
in the Juhu neighborhood.
-Chief beggar?
-Yes.
So if you've driven through Juhu,
he has probably tapped on your car window.
A guy looking like this. Remember?
You didn't give him any money,
so you both owe him
a thousand rupees each.
-We owe him!
-Owe him!
They owe him!
-Are you here to talk rubbish with them?
-No.
I'm not talking rubbish.
I have another flight to catch,
and I wanted to change my lipstick.
So, what do I rub this lipstick on?
Where?
Hey, don't be afraid!
-Where will you take it off?
-Do you have tissue paper?
What tissue paper?
You should ask for a newspaper!
You have a big face,
you could put billboard ads on it!
-Sir, don't hide that. It's Netflix.
-Okay.
-Sir, I really like you.
-Thank you.
-Actually, I'm a big fan of yours.
-Thank you very much.
In fact, I even made
a tattoo of your face.
-Where?
-Where did you make it?
On my boyfriend's face.
I didn't like his face, Archana ji,
and I find Sunny very handsome,
hence the tattoo.
But I'm sad about one thing.
-About what?
-What?
He is not ready to marry me.
So please ask your dad
when he is going to marry me.
How would their dad know?
Every time I ask him
when he will marry me,
he says, "Sham ko bataunga."
Sham ji
-Sham ji is your dad, isn't he?
-Yes.
Mona
you know their father
is an action director, right?
-Yes.
-His name is Sham but he fights till dawn!
I will not take you seriously.
Please come aboard our flight sometime.
-No! Never board their flight.
-Why?
The other day a couple
of passengers sat together.
The airplane took off,
but the passengers didn't.
The floor didn't take off.
Kaps, tell me one thing.
For eighty rupees per ticket,
are we going to make them fly too?
-Eighty rupees per ticket!
-Yes!
Don't the passengers
have some responsibility as well, sir?
The airplane is flying.
They have tied the seat belt so tight
We've even hung train hangers up top.
-So hold it.
-Hold on to it! Only then you can fly!
Mona.
Why are you here?
Actually, sir,
when you came to the airport,
your luggage was a little heavier.
We must remove some items.
Can you allow us to touch your luggage?
Yeah.
You directly touch the passenger,
but seek permission
to touch their luggage!
Sorry, my bad. Next time, I won't ask.
Sir, you must frequently travel
in first class and business class.
So don't you know you cannot
carry items that are flammable?
-What items are flammable?
-This.
It's their wedding photo!
How is it a flammable object?
Yes. Look.
Tell me something.
Don't girls burn with envy
when they see this photo?
Well
I'll put this here properly.
This is okay.
This is also okay.
Why are you taking it out if it's okay?
I mean these are okay for my boyfriend.
Leave out the underwear.
Sir, please let me take these
for my boyfriend.
-Why?
-My boyfriend is very poor.
-He doesn't have clothes.
-What?
Archana ji, until I go to his house
and give him clothes,
he won't step out of the house.
Kaps, you know last time
I didn't meet him for six months,
so he didn't leave home
for seven months.
You didn't meet him for six months.
Why did he stay at home for seven months?
-He was also angry for a month.
-I see.
A man who spends six months trotting
naked in his house is bound to be angry.
So, can I take these?
Thank you very much.
All the best to you.
-Thank you.
-For all your future films.
And even you did a great job
in Chor Nikal Ke Bhaga.
A big round of applause for Sunny.
Very nice.
As you all know,
in every film that Vicky does,
he gets in the skin of the character
that he portrays.
We don't see Vicky Kaushal at that time,
especially in his film Uri.
After that, you did Sam Bahadur.
You really embodied the character.
Archana ji was saying,
"He did a really great job."
"He definitely gets cheap liquor
from the army canteen."
She said it.
But, paaji, I want to know.
If we talk about Sam Bahadur,
or the character of
Shaheed Uddham Singh ji portrayed by you
-Yes.
-These are significant characters.
-Yes.
-You never met them.
How difficult is it to portray
these characters, paaji?
I think more than
portraying the characters,
it's the responsibility
that holds greater importance.
-Actually.
-You cannot take it lightly.
Be it Shaheed Uddham Singh ji
or Sam Bahadur ji.
I used to hear stories from Dad.
Because my parents were in Punjab
during the 1971 war.
-I see.
-They used to say that
they would wait for their voices
to be heard on the radio.
They'd wait for a message
so they would be aware of what
was happening in the war.
-They were big fans of his.
-I see.
When you get to portray
characters like these,
the responsibility on you is immense.
-True.
-As I remember,
when I was playing
the role of Sam Bahadur ji
-He has a daughter. Maya.
-I see.
-She must be 75 or 80 years old.
-Okay.
I had several meetings with her.
I understood how he would walk,
how he would talk.
Once, we were shooting in Delhi.
And I've never been so nervous
in front of the camera.
Because behind the camera,
Sam Bahadur's daughter
was watching the shot.
-I see.
-Oh, wow!
So, I was really nervous
because when I did the shot,
I didn't have the courage to ask
whether I had done it correctly or not.
But if I perceived in her eyes
that she didn't like it,
then my confidence would have shattered,
and with more than half of the film
left to shoot.
But I was very happy to see
that she had tears in her eyes
after watching that shot.
-Wow!
-So
That gave me a bit of confidence.
And even today
Especially when it's a film
centered around the military,
when the military approves it
and acknowledges
that you've done a good job,
that's the greatest award for me.
But when you played that character,
we were truly happy.
-Mind-blowing.
-Really nice!
Let's talk about Sunny.
His film Chor Nikal Ke Bhaga
got two crores ninety lakh hours of views
in the first two weeks.
-Wow.
-Wow.
You know, your film was
trending in 60 countries.
I didn't have a clue about the numbers,
but that's fantastic!
-Thank you.
-I found this out after coming to Netflix.
And then,
he straightaway came to a show
that will be trending in 192 countries.
-Imagine!
-That's wonderful!
Now that's what I call career growth.
-Yes.
-Wow!
You know,
this is a very beautiful relationship.
Brothers. Sisters.
Brothers and sisters.
We spend our childhood together, then go
our separate ways as we grow older,
we have our own families.
And often, others believe
that the older one receives more love.
That's what the second
or third child believes.
I'm the second child. I have
an older brother and a younger sister.
Both the older and the younger one
receive a lot of love.
-But the second child
-Right?
Well, that happens too.
I want to know from my audience.
You can share your experiences with me.
Hello, gentleman! Where are you?
-Hello, everyone.
-Hello, sir.
My name is Manish.
I am from Ghaziabad.
And I want to share a very unique story
-about my brother.
-Okay.
He is my brother.
How are you, brother?
Are you from Ghaziabad too?
Yes.
-This happened once
-Let me explain to my Spanish fans.
Ghaziabad is a city near Delhi.
Yeah.
There was a girl in the colony
where we resided,
whom I liked very much.
Only one girl in the entire colony?
No, there were many others,
but I had just one target.
-Target!
-Yes.
So
-So
-Target. Like a surgical strike!
-Go on.
-But her father was in the police force,
so I never managed to gather
the courage to propose to her.
A boy lived in the flat below hers.
I asked him to do me a small favor.
I told him, "I will write a letter,
you just have to give it to the girl."
So, I gave the responsibility
to my brother.
I said to him, "Here's this letter,
pass it on to the boy."
You gave it to your brother,
and he gave it to the boy?
-My brother
-And that boy gave it to the girl?
-Yes.
-Why don't you work for the R&AW?
Look at all the planning!
Is he older or younger than you?
-He is my younger brother.
-I see.
So whenever we used to go for a walk
or a stroll in the evening,
she used to make eye contact
with me and smile.
After having the letter delivered,
for over a week,
she stopped smiling at me.
That really stressed me out.
I wondered what was wrong
and why she wouldn't smile at me.
One day, I mustered the courage
to stop that girl.
I asked, "Did you get the letter?"
She said, "Yes, I did."
I asked, "Shouldn't you talk?"
She said, "I am talking."
I asked, "With whom?"
-She said, "Rajeev."
-Your brother
-Wow!
-For a minute, my reaction was like
How was your reaction?
It was the same.
Why did you make off
with your older brother's love interest?
Sir, the thing was
It was nothing. You were wrong.
-No!
-You have malice in your heart.
Sir, she was the most
beautiful girl in the colony.
And when we started speaking,
she told me she doesn't
like boys with curly hair.
-Your brother has curls.
-So, I thought
I didn't want her to go away
with someone else,
-so I wrote my name.
-He wanted to bring her home!
A straightener costs only 1200 rupees.
You could have bought one
for your brother.
You just seized her instead!
Thank you, Rajeev and Manish.
Did you call me?
Not at all.
I just heard,
"Where are you going, sir?"
"Wait just a minute.
Vicky and Sunny are here."
"Talk to them."
We didn't utter a single word,
yet you heard all that.
Well, it doesn't matter.
It must be a misconception.
-Misconception!
-Hello. Hi.
All well?
Vicky, I learned that even
you are from the engineering industry.
-Yes.
-I am also from the engineering industry.
Okay.
I'm Engineer Chumbak Mittal.
Here's a visiting card.
Here.
Yes.
It isn't mine.
-It's not yours?
-No.
I found it lying over there.
If it's not yours,
why are you giving it to him?
Because someone gave it to me,
so I'm passing it forward.
He will give it to someone else.
That's what happens with visiting cards.
Do you know how the life cycle
of a visiting card ends?
It lands up
at the bhelpuri seller's stall.
To eat like this.
Actually, I am
in the engineering profession.
Engineer Chumbak Mittal.
You know, when the aircraft
approaches finally the runway,
all the living obstacles and hindrances
are cleared before the flight takes off?
I clear all that.
Just tell them that you
scare away all the birds.
He clears the runway
before the aircraft takes off.
Yes.
And the birds fly away quite nicely.
And this job of scaring away birds
is quite recent.
Before that, there is a place
nearby called Chhota Kashmir.
His job involved bathing monkeys
under five years old.
Laugh, guys.
I don't have any humorous relationship
with him.
-Right.
-Are you guys comfortable?
-Yes.
-Hold on. Can I get comfortable?
No matter how much noise you all make,
I'm not sharing this with anyone.
Bravo!
What are you doing,
Chumbak Mittal sahab?
Getting comfortable.
He's taking Netflix and chill
a little too seriously.
Why don't you quit these bad habits?
-I know the snacks have a little oil.
-Not the snacks
I'm talking about the alcohol!
There is nothing wrong with it.
It's the right item.
There's no oil in it.
Once it goes in,
all the oil is flushed out.
You are getting high. Please
I'm going to get higher now.
What were you saying?
"This man bathes monkeys."
How can anyone bathe monkeys?
Can you control monkeys?
Do you know why he's saying this?
He wants that madam
sitting over there to laugh.
They may take offense,
but that's how they're rolling in dough.
How?
This gentleman cracks jokes,
and the lady chuckles at them.
She may not necessarily
only laugh at jokes.
Madam often laughs
thinking that she gets paid for it!
Bathes monkeys. Wow.
You can say such things.
I don't have a problem with it.
But, bhaisahab
don't involve anyone.
And if you involve someone,
you should tell the audience
that it was just a joke.
What if tomorrow someone
brings his monkey to me?
Will I bathe his monkey?
Bhaisahab, one monkey can be
as troublesome as having four wives.
And you know one engineer like you
-is as troublesome as four monkeys.
-Yes.
I haven't told them
that you paint white stripes
on black dogs
and sell them as zebras.
She will laugh now!
-Stop it. How much are you drinking?
-I don't have a problem
if you call me an engineer.
Nice.
-Would you like some?
-No.
Check it. How is the bhujia?
Vicky ji, I have a job for you.
-It's personal.
-I see.
I want you to execute a surgical strike.
Where?
There's a girl
-I cannot mention her name.
-Okay.
Because if I take Sunita's name,
she will be defamed.
So, actually, Sunita is
-I've had a one-night stand with her.
-Hey, you!
What rubbish is this?
Yes. I once stood outside her house
throughout the entire night,
peeking through the window.
I wanted to see her, but
Here's the deal. Imagine this is my house,
and this is Sunita's house.
Okay?
Try to understand this. There are
five houses situated between them
I can't see Sunita
because of these five houses.
All you have to do
is bring an aircraft and boom!
Blow them up!
So I can see Sunita.
It's okay. I have something
that I wanted to show to actual soldiers.
Imagine this is
I had saved this for the real soldiers.
This is a bomb.
What you have to do is
You have to drop one bomb over here.
But that's not in the middle.
It's not in the middle,
but my meddling aunt resides here.
This is her house.
I see.
Don't spare her.
My aunt revealed my true age
to Sunita's family.
-I see.
-She told them that I'm two years older.
-Two years older than Sunita?
-No, her father.
You are a shameless man!
So, I won't spare my aunt.
I will crush her.
Okay? Gupta!
Do you understand? Surgical strike!
All of them!
And then, finally
-It's done!
-Yes.
-And don't worry.
-Okay.
I will pay you.
-Okay?
-Okay.
-Done?
-Done.
-Don't go back on your word.
-They won't.
Will you drive your scooter while drunk?
No, the scooter will drive me
while it's drunk.
Unbelievable!
It's in the middle of the airport.
I forgot to tell you
something, Engineer sahab.
-What?
-Get out!
-Kapil.
-Yes.
We have a request from our audience.
The girls want to hear you sing
and they want to dance
with Vicky and Sunny.
So just sing for them.
-They
-Wonderful!
Come on, paaji.
Come on.
Who wants to dance? Hello?
Your face is beautiful, my love is crazy
Your face is beautiful, my love is crazy
Let's not make any mistakes
Your face is beautiful, my love is crazy
Let's not make any mistakes
The night's intoxicating
And the mood is lovely
The entire world's intoxicated
The intoxicating ambiance gets me high
The kohl of love
I wore it in my eyes in such a way
The kohl of love
I wore it in my eyes in such a way
The kohl's made my heart skip a beat
I am floored by you
The kohl of love
I wore it in my eyes in such a way
The kohl's made my heart skip a beat
I am floored by you
The world's crazy about me
But I am crazy about you
Make me yours, my love
I am floored by you
I am floored by you
Goodnight. God bless you all.
Thank you so much.
Come on!
Please welcome, for the first time
on our show, Mr. Aamir Khan!
So many Aamir Khans!
Is there a sale on Aamir Khan backstage?
I want to tell my South Korean fans
that he's the legendary actor Aamir Khan,
and he's a big fan of mine.
You make it sound like
you have invited Aamir Khan ji!
He's the real Aamir Khan.
Oh, wow!
It's a very good question,
and now I'm going to pour my heart out.
My children just don't listen to me!
In PK,
if the radio frequency had fluctuated,
everything would have been broadcasted
right then and there.
Why are you here?
In all the years I wasn't coming here,
you had a problem with that.
What do you want?
As the older sister, did you ever
give him a beating?
-No, never.
-But I have!
Oh, God!