The Haunted Hathaways (2013) s01e04 Episode Script
Haunted Kids
Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for the soothing stylings of Mr.
Ray Preston.
Oh.
Thank you, folks.
Thank you.
You can't bring that weak stuff into my house! Oh, I'm bringing it.
He fakes right, he fakes left, he throws! He scores! And the crowd goes wild! Aw, man, that's a penalty.
Unnecessary dorkiness.
Burping contest.
I win.
Guys, enough.
Now first of all, you've got to stop with all the constant competing.
It's gotten out of control.
And secondly I win.
Never mess with the master.
Guess he set us straight.
No more competing.
Ghost wrestling match! If you move into a haunted house.
You gotta try to work things out.
So if you're living with a ghost or three.
You gotta be one big, semi scary family.
Don't know how we ended up this way.
But I guess you could call us The Haunted Hathaways.
The Haunted Hathaways.
The Haunted Hathaways.
The Haunted Hathaways.
Come on, come on, come on! - What are you doing? - Calling the radio station.
The 100th caller gets two front-row concert tickets to see the Three Chads.
Aah! Wait, isn't that the band that shoots popcorn balls out of a Cannon and into the audience? Uh-huh.
Mother, mother, mother.
Honey, I am on the phone.
Yes, your wedding cake will be ready to be picked up at 4:00.
Wait, hello? Weak signal? No, no, no! Excuse me, sorry.
Oh, nothing.
Higher ground.
Excuse me, sorry, pardon me, forgive me.
Sorry.
Seriously? You guys get this is a place of business, right? Yes, I'm here.
Do I win? Do I know the phrase that pays? Of course I know the phrase that pays.
What's the phrase that pays? No one plays more hits than Coco and the Fish Head in the morning.
Yes, I won! Wait.
Why are you happy? I won the tickets.
Now Emma and I can go to the concert.
Correction I won the tickets, and I'm going to take my friend Nina.
Frankie, I was the hundredth caller.
Yeah, but I knew the phrase that paid.
Girls! I have had it with you two.
I can't take this anymore.
That was rude.
Okay.
Calm down.
Be thankful for your daughters' health.
And that no one can see you talking to yourself.
I see you.
I really hate it when you do that.
I saw what happened out there.
A little parenting advice Teach the kids to handle their own problems.
That way, they won't have to run to mommy to solve every little issue.
No offense, Ray, but you've never had to deal with girls.
Girls are a walk in the park.
Trust me.
Really? Well, if you think girls are so easy, why don't you take my girls for the rest of the day, and uh I'll watch the boys? You're kidding me? Mm-mm.
I'm in.
I'll enjoy the relaxing break.
Me too.
It'll be my pleasure.
Enjoy.
Now, back by popular demand, Dr.
Smooth himself Ray! Mom said that today we're your headache, whatever that means.
Yes, so please tell Taylor I get the concert tickets.
Don't spare her feelings.
You kids still haven't worked out that little problem yet? Well, it's time I teach you two about My phrase that pays.
My tickets.
You don't even like the Three Chads.
You only want popcorn shot at you.
Um, duh! Girls.
Stop grabbing the tickets! All right, you think you can ignore me? Try ignoring this.
Hello? Stop fighting and look at me.
I'm a magical creature from the land of fairies and rainbows.
- Frankie, give me the tickets! - They're mine! Yoohoo! Check out my pink mane.
Ooh.
Pretty.
Frankie, I might die if Emma and I can't go to this concert.
I'm willing to take that chance.
- Hey! - Give those back! Not until you stop yelling and start listening to each other.
Now I'm gonna show you how to work this out on your own.
Take this hat.
I do feel better.
Good parenting tip, Ray.
No, this is a talking hat.
Whoever wears it can speak, while the other person has to listen.
It'll teach you to communicate and problem-solve.
Now, go work this out.
Fine.
- Give me the stupid hat.
- Hey, hey, hey! It's a talking hat, not a stupid hat.
Sorry, Ray.
You don't have the hat, so shh.
Shh.
Okay, boys.
There's a new Sheriff in town.
What you two need is structure, so I'm going to have you channel all that wonderful energy into something productive.
I'm putting you to work.
- Cool! - Aw! Not everything you do has to be a competition.
You'll see working together can be fun too.
Working together? Have you met us? You guys are going to help me by decorating gingerbread men.
And no ghost shortcuts.
That way, you'll learn the wonderful satisfaction of a hard day's work.
Sounds fun, right? Yippee.
I bet I can decorate faster than you.
Louie, Michelle said no competing.
I get it.
You're afraid to lose.
Besides, I've already done three.
You've only done Two.
Three? You better count again.
Looks like you only have one.
Oh, yeah? Well, it looks like you only have None! You are going down.
Oh, yeah.
This is gonna be a crumb bath.
- Oh! - How you like me now? Ah.
Quiet.
Ray, you sly fox, you've done it again.
Let me guess, after calmly talking it out Gah! Negotiations broke down.
Where's Taylor? It looks like she might have taken advantage of her size.
If you say so.
Help! Help! That girl is a she-devil! Me? I'm just an innocent undersized nine-year-old trying to get by in this crazy world.
Innocent? Look at this! I think she looks great.
- Ugh! - Stop! I thought you could work this out yourselves, but you two need a serious lecture about compromise.
You can lecture me in the living room.
I'm done here.
Fine, let's go.
No way.
I've spent enough time with her.
Okay.
Then I guess it's time for me to split.
- You're leaving? - No.
I'm splitting.
I don't want to give this lecture twice.
This is so creepy.
I have half a mind to be offended by that.
Half a mind? Get it? Did Frankie get the funny half? Now look, I think you girls are missing the obvious solution.
There are two tickets.
You won them together, and you both want to go to the concert.
Now could you please stop doing that and try to focus on what I'm saying? Remember, friends come and go, but sisters are forever.
So take whoever you like, but I think it might make sense if you went with someone that means the most to you.
I get it, Ray.
Thanks.
I hear what you're saying.
I know the right thing to do.
- I knew you'd get it.
- Mm hmm.
Hey, good-looking! Well, if it isn't my better half.
Care to join me? Don't mind if I do.
So The girls' problem solved.
Turns out all they needed was a superior parent To show them how to make good decisions on their own.
That's funny, it turned out all the boys needed was a superior parent To channel their energy.
- Problem? - Nope.
That's our secret signal.
It means the boys want more work.
Hi, Ms.
Hathaway.
Where's Taylor? I wanted to thank her for inviting me to the Three Chads concert.
Ooh.
Great.
You must be excited.
- I like Quiet Chad the best.
- Mm hmm.
Although Cute Chad is so cute.
Now I feel bad for Pouty Chad.
He's worked really hard to fix that lazy eye.
You're going to the concert too? Frankie invited me.
I guess we're all going together.
I believe Taylor and Frankie are both upstairs.
That's interesting.
I thought there were only two tickets.
But I count four people going.
Sounds like a problem, Ray.
Don't be ridiculous.
Shouldn't you be getting back in the kitchen? - They're mine! - Frankie, they're mine! I won them! Shouldn't you be getting upstairs? Taylor, I can't believe you invited me when you didn't have enough tickets.
I do have the tickets.
Frankie and Nina aren't going.
We are too! Seriously, if Nina doesn't go, she may lose it.
Look at her.
Come on, Frankie, tell me where the bathroom is.
Shh.
Taylor, Frankie, we need to talk.
I can't believe this.
It's just like When Pouty Chad sings Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
I'm hurt.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Real hurt.
No, Emma, it's more like when Quiet Chad sings Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
I got your back.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Our friendship is not whack.
Yo, Hathaway girls.
Meet the unicorn in the hallway.
Now.
Uh, excuse us.
Frankie and I are gonna go work this out in the hall.
If the horse splits in half, I call the front.
Why did you guys invite those girls? Didn't you hear what I said? Yeah, you said to choose someone who meant something to me.
I heard that too.
You were supposed to pick each other.
- Yeah, right.
- Not funny.
Remember, friends come and go, but sisters are forever.
Blah, blah, blah.
Just tell us who gets the tickets.
Fine.
You want my decision? Here it is.
Nobody's going to the concert.
What in the world happened here? - Louie started it! - Miles started it! I don't care who started it.
Look, I have an important client coming.
Wedding cakes are big money.
I don't have time for this.
Hello? Anyone here? That's them.
I will deal with you guys later.
We need to settle this once and for all.
I challenge you to the ultimate ghost contest A levitation battle.
We can't.
Michelle said to knock it off.
I see what's going on here.
Bawk all you want, Louie.
It's not gonna work.
I'm not five.
Clucky cluck.
Did you just clucky cluck me? Let's do this! Ray, do you have a sec? Sure.
So after our friends went home, Frankie and I started talking That was after the yelling, pinching, and discovering Nina's accident.
You were right.
Frankie's not the worst sister in the world.
It might have been fun if we'd gone to the concert together.
Sorry for being so bratty.
Wow.
That was beautiful.
And you know what? Because of that, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.
Boom! I never destroyed the tickets.
It was just a ghost illusion to teach you a lesson.
You can both go to the concert after all.
How do you like me now? - How could you do that? - That's so twisted! - You lied to us! - Is my life a game to you? Be right back with your cake.
Prepare to be wowed! Look at you two.
You've stopped fighting.
You cleaned the counter.
You really took my words to heart.
Can't hold it Anymore.
Yes! Victory! I finally beat you! Uh-oh.
That's that's not good.
M-m-m My cake! It's it's ruined! What was I thinking? I really thought that I could get through to you boys.
But instead all that's happened is I lost a huge chance to make money for the shop.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to collect myself.
Louie, what have we done? I don't know, Miles.
But why were her eyes leaking? And why do I feel so bad? I don't know.
Dad never does that.
I can't take it anymore.
Girls are too hard! I want my boys back! - You've ruined my life! - How can I ever trust you again? Sorry for the delay.
I had something in my eye.
Well, I have some interesting news.
You see when did you say your wedding was? Tonight.
It's intimate.
Just a few close friends and family.
Oh, how fun.
Well, the news is your wedding is now tomorrow because that's when the cake will be ready.
Surprise.
What now? Whoa! Oh! What a presentation! Oh, you had me worried there for a moment.
You really go all out.
We are prepared to be wowed! Wow.
Wow.
We're sorry? What is that? I think it might be the most beautiful cake I've ever seen in my entire life.
Look at her eyes, she's doing it again.
I thought this would make her feel better.
Look, we're not paying for that mess.
All right, come on, honey.
Let's get out of here.
But what are we going to serve our guests? - Doughnuts? - We sell doughnuts.
Oh, yeah? Really? Good for you.
We're uh We're sorry, Michelle.
Please don't cry.
Louie and I worked on this together, just like you wanted.
You were right.
It actually was fun.
And we didn't use our ghost shortcuts.
That's kind of obvious, but sweet.
And don't worry, these are happy tears.
Come in for a ghost hug.
My apology was better than yours.
You wish.
Mine was way better.
Quiet! Isn't this nice? - Hike! - Oh, here it comes! Oh! I caught it! Check out my end zone dance.
- We're back! - Hey, how was the show? Best night ever! I'm glad you guys finally stopped screaming at Ray and invited him to the concert.
Yeah, hopefully it made up for how horribly we treated him.
It sure did.
Turns out the Three Chads were awesome.
When Pouty Chad sang that ballad about his pet bird Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Good-bye, little buddy.
And you know, it was actually pretty fun doing something with my little sis.
- Yeah.
- Well, this turned out pretty good.
Maybe we should switch kids more often.
What you got? What you got? What you got? Here comes the pain.
Bad move, little man! Frankie, it's my phone! I need to call Emma and tell her about the concert.
I need to call Nina! - Actually, I'm good.
- Me too.
Ray Preston.
Oh.
Thank you, folks.
Thank you.
You can't bring that weak stuff into my house! Oh, I'm bringing it.
He fakes right, he fakes left, he throws! He scores! And the crowd goes wild! Aw, man, that's a penalty.
Unnecessary dorkiness.
Burping contest.
I win.
Guys, enough.
Now first of all, you've got to stop with all the constant competing.
It's gotten out of control.
And secondly I win.
Never mess with the master.
Guess he set us straight.
No more competing.
Ghost wrestling match! If you move into a haunted house.
You gotta try to work things out.
So if you're living with a ghost or three.
You gotta be one big, semi scary family.
Don't know how we ended up this way.
But I guess you could call us The Haunted Hathaways.
The Haunted Hathaways.
The Haunted Hathaways.
The Haunted Hathaways.
Come on, come on, come on! - What are you doing? - Calling the radio station.
The 100th caller gets two front-row concert tickets to see the Three Chads.
Aah! Wait, isn't that the band that shoots popcorn balls out of a Cannon and into the audience? Uh-huh.
Mother, mother, mother.
Honey, I am on the phone.
Yes, your wedding cake will be ready to be picked up at 4:00.
Wait, hello? Weak signal? No, no, no! Excuse me, sorry.
Oh, nothing.
Higher ground.
Excuse me, sorry, pardon me, forgive me.
Sorry.
Seriously? You guys get this is a place of business, right? Yes, I'm here.
Do I win? Do I know the phrase that pays? Of course I know the phrase that pays.
What's the phrase that pays? No one plays more hits than Coco and the Fish Head in the morning.
Yes, I won! Wait.
Why are you happy? I won the tickets.
Now Emma and I can go to the concert.
Correction I won the tickets, and I'm going to take my friend Nina.
Frankie, I was the hundredth caller.
Yeah, but I knew the phrase that paid.
Girls! I have had it with you two.
I can't take this anymore.
That was rude.
Okay.
Calm down.
Be thankful for your daughters' health.
And that no one can see you talking to yourself.
I see you.
I really hate it when you do that.
I saw what happened out there.
A little parenting advice Teach the kids to handle their own problems.
That way, they won't have to run to mommy to solve every little issue.
No offense, Ray, but you've never had to deal with girls.
Girls are a walk in the park.
Trust me.
Really? Well, if you think girls are so easy, why don't you take my girls for the rest of the day, and uh I'll watch the boys? You're kidding me? Mm-mm.
I'm in.
I'll enjoy the relaxing break.
Me too.
It'll be my pleasure.
Enjoy.
Now, back by popular demand, Dr.
Smooth himself Ray! Mom said that today we're your headache, whatever that means.
Yes, so please tell Taylor I get the concert tickets.
Don't spare her feelings.
You kids still haven't worked out that little problem yet? Well, it's time I teach you two about My phrase that pays.
My tickets.
You don't even like the Three Chads.
You only want popcorn shot at you.
Um, duh! Girls.
Stop grabbing the tickets! All right, you think you can ignore me? Try ignoring this.
Hello? Stop fighting and look at me.
I'm a magical creature from the land of fairies and rainbows.
- Frankie, give me the tickets! - They're mine! Yoohoo! Check out my pink mane.
Ooh.
Pretty.
Frankie, I might die if Emma and I can't go to this concert.
I'm willing to take that chance.
- Hey! - Give those back! Not until you stop yelling and start listening to each other.
Now I'm gonna show you how to work this out on your own.
Take this hat.
I do feel better.
Good parenting tip, Ray.
No, this is a talking hat.
Whoever wears it can speak, while the other person has to listen.
It'll teach you to communicate and problem-solve.
Now, go work this out.
Fine.
- Give me the stupid hat.
- Hey, hey, hey! It's a talking hat, not a stupid hat.
Sorry, Ray.
You don't have the hat, so shh.
Shh.
Okay, boys.
There's a new Sheriff in town.
What you two need is structure, so I'm going to have you channel all that wonderful energy into something productive.
I'm putting you to work.
- Cool! - Aw! Not everything you do has to be a competition.
You'll see working together can be fun too.
Working together? Have you met us? You guys are going to help me by decorating gingerbread men.
And no ghost shortcuts.
That way, you'll learn the wonderful satisfaction of a hard day's work.
Sounds fun, right? Yippee.
I bet I can decorate faster than you.
Louie, Michelle said no competing.
I get it.
You're afraid to lose.
Besides, I've already done three.
You've only done Two.
Three? You better count again.
Looks like you only have one.
Oh, yeah? Well, it looks like you only have None! You are going down.
Oh, yeah.
This is gonna be a crumb bath.
- Oh! - How you like me now? Ah.
Quiet.
Ray, you sly fox, you've done it again.
Let me guess, after calmly talking it out Gah! Negotiations broke down.
Where's Taylor? It looks like she might have taken advantage of her size.
If you say so.
Help! Help! That girl is a she-devil! Me? I'm just an innocent undersized nine-year-old trying to get by in this crazy world.
Innocent? Look at this! I think she looks great.
- Ugh! - Stop! I thought you could work this out yourselves, but you two need a serious lecture about compromise.
You can lecture me in the living room.
I'm done here.
Fine, let's go.
No way.
I've spent enough time with her.
Okay.
Then I guess it's time for me to split.
- You're leaving? - No.
I'm splitting.
I don't want to give this lecture twice.
This is so creepy.
I have half a mind to be offended by that.
Half a mind? Get it? Did Frankie get the funny half? Now look, I think you girls are missing the obvious solution.
There are two tickets.
You won them together, and you both want to go to the concert.
Now could you please stop doing that and try to focus on what I'm saying? Remember, friends come and go, but sisters are forever.
So take whoever you like, but I think it might make sense if you went with someone that means the most to you.
I get it, Ray.
Thanks.
I hear what you're saying.
I know the right thing to do.
- I knew you'd get it.
- Mm hmm.
Hey, good-looking! Well, if it isn't my better half.
Care to join me? Don't mind if I do.
So The girls' problem solved.
Turns out all they needed was a superior parent To show them how to make good decisions on their own.
That's funny, it turned out all the boys needed was a superior parent To channel their energy.
- Problem? - Nope.
That's our secret signal.
It means the boys want more work.
Hi, Ms.
Hathaway.
Where's Taylor? I wanted to thank her for inviting me to the Three Chads concert.
Ooh.
Great.
You must be excited.
- I like Quiet Chad the best.
- Mm hmm.
Although Cute Chad is so cute.
Now I feel bad for Pouty Chad.
He's worked really hard to fix that lazy eye.
You're going to the concert too? Frankie invited me.
I guess we're all going together.
I believe Taylor and Frankie are both upstairs.
That's interesting.
I thought there were only two tickets.
But I count four people going.
Sounds like a problem, Ray.
Don't be ridiculous.
Shouldn't you be getting back in the kitchen? - They're mine! - Frankie, they're mine! I won them! Shouldn't you be getting upstairs? Taylor, I can't believe you invited me when you didn't have enough tickets.
I do have the tickets.
Frankie and Nina aren't going.
We are too! Seriously, if Nina doesn't go, she may lose it.
Look at her.
Come on, Frankie, tell me where the bathroom is.
Shh.
Taylor, Frankie, we need to talk.
I can't believe this.
It's just like When Pouty Chad sings Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
I'm hurt.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Real hurt.
No, Emma, it's more like when Quiet Chad sings Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
I got your back.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Our friendship is not whack.
Yo, Hathaway girls.
Meet the unicorn in the hallway.
Now.
Uh, excuse us.
Frankie and I are gonna go work this out in the hall.
If the horse splits in half, I call the front.
Why did you guys invite those girls? Didn't you hear what I said? Yeah, you said to choose someone who meant something to me.
I heard that too.
You were supposed to pick each other.
- Yeah, right.
- Not funny.
Remember, friends come and go, but sisters are forever.
Blah, blah, blah.
Just tell us who gets the tickets.
Fine.
You want my decision? Here it is.
Nobody's going to the concert.
What in the world happened here? - Louie started it! - Miles started it! I don't care who started it.
Look, I have an important client coming.
Wedding cakes are big money.
I don't have time for this.
Hello? Anyone here? That's them.
I will deal with you guys later.
We need to settle this once and for all.
I challenge you to the ultimate ghost contest A levitation battle.
We can't.
Michelle said to knock it off.
I see what's going on here.
Bawk all you want, Louie.
It's not gonna work.
I'm not five.
Clucky cluck.
Did you just clucky cluck me? Let's do this! Ray, do you have a sec? Sure.
So after our friends went home, Frankie and I started talking That was after the yelling, pinching, and discovering Nina's accident.
You were right.
Frankie's not the worst sister in the world.
It might have been fun if we'd gone to the concert together.
Sorry for being so bratty.
Wow.
That was beautiful.
And you know what? Because of that, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.
Boom! I never destroyed the tickets.
It was just a ghost illusion to teach you a lesson.
You can both go to the concert after all.
How do you like me now? - How could you do that? - That's so twisted! - You lied to us! - Is my life a game to you? Be right back with your cake.
Prepare to be wowed! Look at you two.
You've stopped fighting.
You cleaned the counter.
You really took my words to heart.
Can't hold it Anymore.
Yes! Victory! I finally beat you! Uh-oh.
That's that's not good.
M-m-m My cake! It's it's ruined! What was I thinking? I really thought that I could get through to you boys.
But instead all that's happened is I lost a huge chance to make money for the shop.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to collect myself.
Louie, what have we done? I don't know, Miles.
But why were her eyes leaking? And why do I feel so bad? I don't know.
Dad never does that.
I can't take it anymore.
Girls are too hard! I want my boys back! - You've ruined my life! - How can I ever trust you again? Sorry for the delay.
I had something in my eye.
Well, I have some interesting news.
You see when did you say your wedding was? Tonight.
It's intimate.
Just a few close friends and family.
Oh, how fun.
Well, the news is your wedding is now tomorrow because that's when the cake will be ready.
Surprise.
What now? Whoa! Oh! What a presentation! Oh, you had me worried there for a moment.
You really go all out.
We are prepared to be wowed! Wow.
Wow.
We're sorry? What is that? I think it might be the most beautiful cake I've ever seen in my entire life.
Look at her eyes, she's doing it again.
I thought this would make her feel better.
Look, we're not paying for that mess.
All right, come on, honey.
Let's get out of here.
But what are we going to serve our guests? - Doughnuts? - We sell doughnuts.
Oh, yeah? Really? Good for you.
We're uh We're sorry, Michelle.
Please don't cry.
Louie and I worked on this together, just like you wanted.
You were right.
It actually was fun.
And we didn't use our ghost shortcuts.
That's kind of obvious, but sweet.
And don't worry, these are happy tears.
Come in for a ghost hug.
My apology was better than yours.
You wish.
Mine was way better.
Quiet! Isn't this nice? - Hike! - Oh, here it comes! Oh! I caught it! Check out my end zone dance.
- We're back! - Hey, how was the show? Best night ever! I'm glad you guys finally stopped screaming at Ray and invited him to the concert.
Yeah, hopefully it made up for how horribly we treated him.
It sure did.
Turns out the Three Chads were awesome.
When Pouty Chad sang that ballad about his pet bird Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Good-bye, little buddy.
And you know, it was actually pretty fun doing something with my little sis.
- Yeah.
- Well, this turned out pretty good.
Maybe we should switch kids more often.
What you got? What you got? What you got? Here comes the pain.
Bad move, little man! Frankie, it's my phone! I need to call Emma and tell her about the concert.
I need to call Nina! - Actually, I'm good.
- Me too.