The L Word: Generation Q (2019) s01e04 Episode Script

1 Previously on The L Word: Generation Q Good morning, everyone.
[FINLEY.]
I fudged the priest.
[REBECCA.]
I don't know what you believe in, but I think that we met for a reason.
[LENA.]
Tess, she's good with people not always with me.
Hey, hi.
I'm really sorry.
I have to cancel.
How's wedding planning coming? I made a call and scheduled us a tour of the Biltmore.
[SOPHIE.]
I don't want to feel uncomfortable at my own wedding.
Couples compromise all the time.
Yeah, I'm happy to compromise with you.
I'm just not about to compromise with your dad.
[TYLER.]
How does sleeping with Felicity Adams make you qualified to be the mayor? You still don't know why she's running, do you? No, I guess I don't.
- [BETTE.]
Are you sure that it's over? - [SHANE.]
I have divorce papers sitting in my drawer right now, - so, pretty sure it's over.
- [ALICE.]
Why are you hanging out at a sports bar? [SHANE.]
I-I bought it.
Lena, this is not a good idea.
[KNOCKING.]
"SHAWTY" BY REMI WOLF Shawty know she phony Shawty feelin' lonely Oh Shawty wanna kiss me like She kissing on her daddy - [BETTE LAUGHING.]
- [FELICITY HUMMING.]
I wish I had met you 20 years ago.
Is that so? Mm-hmm, I was a musical theater minor at Howard.
Why am I not surprised? And I was dating a guy named Leonard because, 20/20 hindsight, - I loved his sister Ashley.
- Mm-hmm.
And I would write monologues about her - and perform them in class.
- [BETTE LAUGHS.]
I would've written them about you.
I'm so glad I'm not 20.
Wouldn't want to go back there.
No, never.
But what do you want? Mm better cup of coffee and another fruit bowl would be great.
No, I mean what do you want for us? Right now all I want is this.
"STAY OVER" BY TOVE LO I stay where I was, 'cause I hope that you come and find me See in your eyes You just went through war Whatever it was broke your heart You dip your toes back and take it slow Well, I'm nothing like what you had Before so Already deep in my bed, baby Why don't you stay over Know we've been bending the rules lately But why don't you stay, stay, stay Over Why don't you, why don't you Don't back away from this Don't back away I know it's intense - Losing our senses in this love - [MOANING.]
So don't back away from me Don't back away No, 'cause what we have So beautiful.
[SHANE.]
I love you.
[PHONE BUZZING.]
[PHONE CLICKS, THUDS.]
[BOTH MOANING.]
Um, what are you doing tonight? Actually, I have this party to go to if you want to come.
Oh, I wish I had known.
Actually, I'm having some friends over for dinner tonight.
And I was wondering if you wanted to come to that.
Hmm okay.
What kind of friends are we talking here? Couple priests and a rabbi or what? Yeah, kind of.
Oh, shit.
[LAUGHS.]
[INHALES SHARPLY.]
Are you gonna be able to get over this? 'Cause I'm starting to have real feelings for you.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Shane, you got that? I'm gonna, I'm gonna grab that.
I'll be back.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Happy birthday, roomie! My God, you're too loud.
This came from Alice, Bette, and, uh me? What the fuck, dude? Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday? Are you really 40? Oh, yeah.
Shit.
Is that scary? Uh no.
Right.
All right, where do you want this stuff? Anywhere but here.
Copy that, going up.
Hey, um do you mind if I sample a little summer sausage? No, whatever you want.
Tight.
Hey.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Happy birthday, dude.
[LAUGHS QUIETLY.]
[GRUNTS.]
Mmm, good morning, my love.
Good morning.
[MOANING.]
Where you going, love? Going for a run.
[EXHALES.]
[DOOR OPENS.]
Hello? Oh, hi.
- Mm.
- Look at that beautiful face.
- Morning.
- What's up? Hey, you got any O.
J.
? I just housed a summer sausage, and it was super salty.
Yeah, I think we're out.
Hmm oh.
That's all right.
This will do.
[SIGHS.]
You good? Yeah, it's just Dani's doing her weird distant thing.
How about you? How's your lover priest? Good, good.
Yeah, good.
Sex is great.
- Oh, good.
- Yeah.
I do feel pretty guilty afterwards.
Hmm.
But she wants me to meet her friends.
Yeah, 'cause you're dating.
Yes, yeah.
Yeah.
So, how do you feel about her? [EXHALES SHARPLY.]
It's, like, uh it's, I don't know, it's all, uh it's like swirly Just right here in this area, it just feels like Yeah, that's love, bro.
No.
Oh, yeah.
It is.
"SORRY, I'M BUSY" BY THE HARMALEIGHS You're out of almond milk! You are on the tip of my tongue When I think it's been too long So, is there a reason you're dressed like an Easter Peep? Shane, I chose this color so it would pop.
Like, this L.
A.
Times reporter is following me around all day for this profile, and I would like the article to say, like, "Alice Pieszecki Is Killing It".
- You know, maybe in capitals.
- [BETTE.]
Hi.
- Hey.
- Hey.
So sorry I'm late.
Happy birthday.
[SHANE.]
Thank you.
It's not a big deal.
Everyone, relax.
Well, it can be.
I mean, you can experience true metamorphosis at 40 if you let yourself.
[ALICE.]
Don't listen to that bullshit.
Shit gets weird.
Things on your body start dropping and changing.
My ass, it's not obvious, but it has moved, I can tell.
None of us has anything to complain about.
Look, I I never knew I'd get this far, so I'm just happy.
Good, you should be.
Yeah.
Um, so we want to do something to celebrate your birthday - No.
- Just I said no party.
- Not a party.
- No.
We just have to do something.
I mean, it's your 40th birthday.
- Yeah.
- Oh, God, you guys.
[ALICE.]
Let's meet at your bar.
Drinks.
- Yeah, sure, sure.
- Yeah, fine.
Just the three of us.
- Yeah, mm.
- Okay.
- Sounds good to me.
- Yeah.
Under those parameters, okay.
Mmm.
Where have you been? Hmm, when? You look all glow-y.
[BETTE.]
Um oh, Angie had a thing at school, so Oh I thought you got laid.
[LAUGHING.]
Yeah.
[LAUGHING.]
I know, 'cause I was laughing inside, too.
Oh Yeah, it has been a long time.
No, how long has it been? - A year? - It hasn't been that long.
You know, I know people.
I'm sure you do.
Is there something you wanted to show us? - Yes.
- Okay.
Uh, field trip.
Let's go, walking distance.
Get your stuff.
[MUSIC CONTINUES FAINTLY.]
You got your juice box? This is very hip.
Is it? Just a little bit, little bit.
I got to say I feel like I'm going into a - No, no, no, no, no.
- We're going downhill all of a sudden.
- We're almost there, almost there, almost there.
- We're going down a hill.
- Okay, okay, stop, stop, stop, stop.
- Okay.
- Turn this way.
- Okay.
- I'm trying to be trusting.
- Jesus Christ, Alice.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Give me your hand.
- All right, ready? - Mm-hmm.
- All right, okay.
- Okay.
One, two three.
[QUIET LAUGH.]
What do you think? It is just It's the best.
It's the best, it's - Right? - It's the best.
- Amazing.
- Dana would love it.
- When did you think of that? - Are you kidding me? I just, I mean, it's an obvious choice.
It's so good! I love you guys.
Let's take a picture.
- I love you.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Take a picture, okay.
Glasses, glasses.
Okay.
All right.
All right, phone, picture.
I'm gonna cry first thing in the morning.
- Flip it around? - Yeah, flipping.
Okay.
Okay, ready? [CAMERA CLICKS.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[WOMAN.]
Okay, that's the last batch.
[BOTTLES CLANGING.]
- Thanks.
- Yeah, no problem.
Um, you totally over-ordered.
I just thought, you know, we'd, we'd need I mean, where are we even gonna hide all of this? [SHANE.]
Hey.
- Happy birthday.
- Hey, boss.
Thanks.
Uh, do you have some checks for me to sign? - Yes - I'll show you.
Great.
Tess, thank you so much for this.
Sure.
So, I know you don't like to make a big deal out of your birthday or anything.
I really want to do something for you.
[CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY.]
[BIRDS CHIRPING.]
- [STAGE BELL RINGING.]
- [MAN.]
All right, last looks! [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
- Hey.
- Hey.
I had sent you a new copy of this campaign ad.
Did you not get my e-mail? No.
Excuse me.
I don't think so.
Yeah.
What's wrong? Uh [CHUCKLES.]
I s-seem to have misplaced my campaign phone.
Okay, uh, when did you have it last? I'll figure it out.
- Thank you.
- You know, um, Sophie and I accidentally took each other's laptops to work once.
Do you think that something like that might have happened to you? I'll take care of it.
Do you think it's possible that Felicity has your phone? Okay.
I'll sort it out.
You don't need to do that.
Would you prefer I send a volunteer? [SIGHS.]
Clap your hands if it feels good [COREY.]
Great.
That's so great.
Chin down.
Awesome.
- Relax.
- Perfect.
Perfect, Alice.
Perfect.
Let's see that "Alice" thing.
Okay.
[CHUCKLES.]
I don't want to take my picture in this.
Okay, honey, I hear you.
Do you love me, too? Yeah, I love you Do you love me, too You're doing so great.
Hey, Nat.
I'm pretty sure Eli's on the loose.
Shit.
Eli! - Hey, pook.
I heard you won.
- Mommy! - Yeah.
- Yeah.
Give me five.
Yeah.
[MOUTHS.]
- I'll be right back.
- Come on.
Hey.
- Hi.
Yeah.
- Thank you so much.
I thought wardrobe had options, but they didn't.
- No, of course, of course.
- Thank you, I really appreciate it.
It's my pleasure.
You look great.
- Yeah.
I do? Yeah.
It's - Yeah.
I love this color.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I'm Corey Campbell.
L.
A.
Times.
Nice to meet you.
While I have you, can I ask you a couple questions? - Yeah, sure.
- I don't mind.
Yeah.
How has Alice changed from the first time you two got together till now? - Oh, she's not my girlfriend.
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
- We're not, we're not together.
- No, no, no, no.
- But she is the kids' other mom.
- Yeah.
We're not Mm-hmm.
The woman who ran down the hall was my - Nat.
Nat is her - Yeah.
Nat is my person.
- And my ex-person.
- Right, her Yeah, right.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I assumed she was the nanny.
I'll-I'll let you get back to your thing.
- Nanny? - [NAT.]
Found him.
He was in the kitchen, ate all the seaweed, but he's very sorry, right, Eli? - At least he didn't get the junk food.
- Hi.
- Were you in the liquor cabinet? - No.
Were you drinking? Are you a drunk? [NAT.]
Thank you for bringing Okay, I'm gonna get them changed.
That's really helpful.
Thank you.
- Okay, great, of course.
- Yeah.
- Bye.
- You look so cute today.
- Aw, you look so pretty.
- I do? - Yeah, you look great.
- Oh.
- Yeah, this is Yup.
- Oh.
- This is her, this is Nat.
- Hi.
- So nice to meet you.
- You, too.
- Corey Campbell of the L.
A.
Times.
- Great.
So, tell me, how do you and Alice maintain a healthy work-life balance? - Oh, it's - God, I don't - I'm not sure we do.
- It - Oh.
- You know, it's really hard, but we try our best.
But it's a joyful hard.
Yeah.
DRAMATIC MUSIC Hmm.
It was an honest mistake.
Which part? It's not what you think.
It doesn't really matter what I think.
- I care about her.
- Do you? - Yes.
- Because this could bring her down.
Do you understand that? This has fucked up my life, too.
I still work at the Department of Cultural Affairs.
Everywhere I go, people whisper.
They think I got here because I fucked my boss.
And my marriage, - my marriage is - None of that matters.
Oh, really? And what do you know about it? How many marriages have you failed at? I know that she's out there every day fighting hard for all the right things, but one wrong thing will ruin her.
And to the public, you are the wrong thing.
- This could end her.
- But I love her.
I wish the world were different, but it's not.
This stays between us.
[SIGHS.]
[SOPHIE.]
All right, this might sound a little risky.
- Yeah, what? - But you've got to ask him about the diversity of his campaign staff.
He doesn't have any.
Can I do that? Of course.
I mean, who else is gonna ask him, Jimmy fucking Fallon? Knock, knock.
Okay, well, you didn't, but, yeah, okay.
Take a look at these questions for Milner.
Okay, but we already have a working script.
What is this? Yeah, I'm not asking him any of these bullshit questions.
I thought you wanted to be a pop icon.
Talking about high school superlatives is not at all what "pop icon" means.
[SCOFFS.]
Why are you smiling? The reporter is right outside.
Oh, o-okay.
- I see what we're doing here.
- Yeah.
Oh.
[CHUCKLES.]
M-Milner wants to be seen as a real guy.
He wants what you did with Bette Porter.
Okay, Drew, I would love that because Bette and I talked about her scandal and about feminism and sexism and what it's like to be queer.
I wonder which one of those he really identifies with.
Oh, you know what? I bet it's feminism.
- A "good guy" like him.
- Uh.
Oh, yeah.
I bet he's, like, balls deep in feminism.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Yeah.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
I'll take a decaf skim latte.
- Thanks.
- Yeah, of course, right away.
She's not gonna get that for me, is she? I wouldn't count on it.
Yeah, look, we all want the same thing here.
Do we, Drew? Yes.
We all want our show to be a success.
My show.
I know.
I know.
And I know you want to do your feminism.
Oh, hell.
We're still smiling.
- Oh.
- But you won't be able to do anything if your show is canceled.
- Ah.
- Look, I've been down this road before.
I've learned this lesson the hard way.
The only way to deviate is through incremental change.
Fine.
I'll ask him about his fucking horse.
It's a pony, but deal.
[ALICE.]
Yeah, we don't do that there.
- Get it away.
We don't do that.
- All right.
Okay.
[LAUGHTER.]
[GROANS.]
Incremental change.
I know.
It's your name.
Your show.
Thank you.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry you had to do that for me.
You jeopardized the campaign.
I'm painfully aware of that fact.
And I'm pretty sure you've course-corrected worse when you were working for your father.
I was numb when I worked for him.
Ever since I met you, I can feel things.
And what I had to do today, it didn't make me feel good.
I have given up too much to be here.
My career, my relationship with my father.
And the energy that I've spent on you instead of my fiancée it's unforgivable, really.
And I'm fine making those sacrifices for someone that I believe in, but I just don't understand how you can throw everything away - for some woman.
- She's not just some woman.
Is this your M.
O.
? You do something great and then you fuck up?! - Keep your voice down.
- Do you have any idea how many people are working their asses off just to get you elected? - I am acutely aware.
- Then why are you running? What's the fucking point?! My sister died of a heroin overdose.
That is why I'm running.
I am running for her.
I am running to change the broken system that failed her.
SLOW, SOMBER MUSIC [SIGHS.]
Felicity was there for me when my sister died.
My world shattered, and she helped me pick up all the pieces.
You don't just turn your back on someone like that.
You can be with her.
Or you can stay in this race and fight for what you believe in.
But you can't have it both ways.
- [CHEERING.]
- [LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING.]
Thank you.
And we're back with candidate Jeff Milner talking about high school superlatives.
So, best hair, huh? - Well, what can I say? - [LAUGHTER.]
I mean, what can you say? Anyway, high school was a hoot.
I always loved school, even as a little kid.
And I understand we have something in common.
Well, if it's about loving school, I'm afraid you're mistaken.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- [MILNER.]
No, no.
- We both went to camp.
- Ah.
Yeah.
Well, no.
I actually worked at a camp as a kid.
You know, stapled shit together for the campers, made six bucks an hour.
- It was a dream.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- Well, something for everyone.
- Mm-hmm.
I love being outside, getting dirty, learning about science.
Is that where you fell in love with horses? It is indeed.
You know, I had a pet pony at camp.
Her name was Tubman because I always had an affinity for Harriet Tubman.
Always admired her her bravery.
- [AUDIENCE MURMURING.]
- SLOW, SOLEMN MUSIC Would you say Harriet Tubman was a feminist? Oh.
Well, I, uh Well, you know [CLEARS THROAT.]
I don't know about that, but I Uh, she was definitely a hero.
- What is she doing? - Oh, I-I - Would you say you're a feminist? - [AUDIENCE CLAMORING.]
Well, I, uh [WOMAN.]
We can't hear you, Jeff.
Uh, I think all people - deserve to be treated fairly.
- I'm calling his people - to get a jump on this.
- Yeah, good idea, Drew.
[ALICE.]
Ooh, I got to tell you, that's an infuriating answer, Jeff.
Well, you know, your friend Bette Porter identifies as a feminist, and I don't think her actions have been particularly honorable.
She made a mistake.
She apologized for it, she's moved on.
It's all in the past.
- Why should we believe her? - Because she's legit.
- [WHOOPING.]
- And if she says "That relationship is over", I fucking trust her.
- Can we trust you? - [AUDIENCE MURMURING.]
[MILNER.]
I think my record speaks for itself.
Hmm.
Let's get back to the ponies.
[LAUGHTER.]
This is incredible.
She doesn't hold back, does she? Nope.
She's always Alice.
[LAUGHTER.]
- [DOG BARKS.]
- [CRICKETS CHIRPING.]
[HUMMING UPBEAT TUNE.]
- [DOOR OPENS.]
- Uh Nope, no, no, no.
Nobody invited you.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Okay.
Oh.
- Excuse you.
- [SIGHS.]
I know you're mad at me, but I'm trying to love you right now.
I'm not mad at you.
I feel bad for you.
You're missing it.
- What am I missing? - Me.
- I want to hang out with you.
- You do? - Yeah.
- Still? Always.
I always want to hang out with you.
I think about you all the time.
Well, do you think about me? When you go to work, you go on, you know, your little runs? Yes.
Of course.
It doesn't feel like it.
- It doesn't? - No.
It feels like you're in your own little world, like [SIGHS.]
Like I can't find you.
I'm sorry.
Why can't you talk to me? What are you so afraid of? - I'm not - What-what ? What have I done that makes you so afraid of me? Uh, sometimes I-I think about the night we met.
Yeah.
At Akbar.
You had a girlfriend.
Yeah.
That scares me.
It does? Yeah.
You were so willing to leave her.
And I-I guess part of me wonders if if-if you'll leave me, too.
She wasn't you.
Hold up.
- What the hell are you doing?! - Holy shit! Motherfucking cold! - [LAUGHS.]
- [RUNNING FOOTSTEPS.]
Oh, you're so cute! - Don't even play.
- [LAUGHS.]
Cute.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
You have a cute butt.
Okay, okay.
[MUTTERS.]
- [LAUGHS.]
- [SIGHS.]
Okay.
[SIGHS.]
- [SIGHS.]
- What is this? This was my great-grandma's.
And it's to remind you that I'm always with you.
And I will never leave you.
[SIGHS.]
Because you're my person.
[LAUGHS SOFTLY.]
Thank you.
I love it.
[GASPS SOFTLY.]
Oh And if you think it's love It is [CHUCKLES.]
[DANI SNIFFLES, LAUGHS.]
And I love you.
I love you so much.
I got yours resized.
Oh! Really? Where is it? It's in my dresser.
Bitch, it should be on this finger.
- Oh.
- No-no, it's too cold.
[LAUGHS.]
You're right.
- I love you.
- Come here.
I love you.
And if you think it's trust It is And if you think it's love It is [TIMER BEEPING.]
[BETTE.]
We don't have a lot of time.
Alice is meeting us at nine.
Oh, that smells amazing.
Uh, that smells amazing.
- Mm? - Nah.
- Really? - Please.
- Okay.
- It's okay.
You're the one running for mayor.
It's legal.
Don't tell Angie.
I would never.
Did you ever think you would be spending your 40th birthday with a middle-aged lesbian and no chance of sex? [SIGHS.]
- I wish you had told me you were a lesbian.
- [LAUGHS.]
- You're so secretive.
- I don't think that's so much of a secret, actually.
[CHUCKLES.]
A toast.
To you - [SIGHS.]
- and your birthday - and your beautiful bar.
- That I already fucked up.
What happened? [EXHALES.]
I might have slept with Lena.
And she's still with Tess.
Ah, see? I told you I fucked it up.
No.
No.
It's just human.
I mean, I think what happens is that we all get scared, and then we do things, you know, as people, that we shouldn't do.
Because we don't want to move on.
Maybe we do, and we just don't know how, and so we end up doing really fucked-up shit.
I mean, I do, anyway.
My God, this pot.
This pot is really fucking strong.
Is this sativa? You're still sleeping with Felicity.
[EXHALES.]
Hey.
It's okay.
[SIGHS.]
It's really okay.
I just feel like such a fuckup.
No, you're not.
I really tried to end it, you know, when I first launched the campaign, but I couldn't.
You know? And I-I don't know if I didn't want to hurt her feelings or I didn't want to hurt my feelings, because that would have been a total fucking free fall.
But now now I realize I'm just fucking sabotaging myself.
And it has to be done.
[SIGHS.]
I have to do right by Kit.
Yeah.
Sometimes I can hear her saying to me - "Girl" - Oh, yeah.
"Girl you got to love the life you live [BOTH.]
and live the life you love".
[SHANE CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
Wait, where are you going? Oh.
Don't know if I can get up.
Give me a sec.
Ooh, look at you.
Oh, my God.
These flowers are beautiful.
Yeah.
They're from Tina.
Of course they are.
She always had really great taste.
Not always.
What are those? Divorce papers.
Oh.
I do love Quiara I just don't want kids.
And I don't want to raise them while she's on tour or [SNIFFLES.]
I know that sounds selfish.
No, no, no.
It just sounds really honest.
[TAKES DEEP BREATH.]
All right.
Here I go.
To new beginnings.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
[LAUGHTER CONTINUES.]
I got divorced on my birthday! Crazy.
Happy fuckin' birthday.
Oh, God.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, shit.
- What? - Alice is gonna be so fucking pissed if we're late.
- Did you bring the thing? - I got it.
It's in my car.
We have to eat something.
Oh, I'm just gonna ta can I take this? Yeah, just take it, take it.
Let's go.
Fuck.
[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE.]
[MUFFLED CHATTER.]
[BETTE.]
I'm still so hungry.
Why is it so dark? - I don't know.
Tess? - Tess? Lena? [ALL.]
Surprise! [OTHERS WHOOPING.]
Oh, my God.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING.]
- What did you do? - You can't get away without having a party.
What is this? Yeah, what are we gonna do, nothing? [SHANE.]
Who are all these people, Al? Finley took some liberty with the guest list, - so I don't know.
- I remember you.
- Shane.
- Ah, yeah, yeah.
How you been? - Yeah.
- Okay, look.
[OTHERS GASP.]
Oh, my God.
There's some real gems in there.
[ALICE.]
And some nightmares.
[LAUGHTER.]
What were we thinking? [ALICE.]
Am I stoned in that picture? [OTHERS WHOOPING.]
[WOMAN.]
Supermodel! - We did good.
- We did.
- Look at my jeans.
- Oh, hi.
Shots.
- Oh, yeah.
- Hey, come on.
Come on, celebrate with me.
What are you, pregnant? Listen, listen.
- Come on.
Listen, - Okay, ready? I love you both.
Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Crazy.
- I know.
- Okay.
- Three, two, one, go.
- One, go.
- [EXHALES.]
- Oh, that's so gross.
- Should we get another one? - Yeah.
[SHANE.]
Hey! - Hey! - Hey! I see the lesbians left the house! - [EXCITED CHATTER.]
- Oh, my God! Oh, yes, we did, and we look good.
- Pow! Look at that.
- [FINLEY.]
Ooh! - So good! - Rings and shit.
Okay! Ooh, what are we drinking? Everything.
[SOPHIE.]
Is that a good idea? Uh, yeah, well, I didn't know there was gonna be free booze, so I packed a flask, but then I slammed that in the car ride over because traffic, and so now I'm drinking the fancy shit.
Did you know tequila could be clear? [SOPHIE.]
Know what else is clear? Water! [FINLEY.]
Oh, no, thanks.
There's water in my ice.
Oh.
All ri all right, all right, buddy, take it easy, yeah? Literally, all of our bosses are here.
[DANI.]
I'll be right back.
All right.
- Don't move.
- Ooh.
Okay, I won't.
[GIGGLES.]
Home Just chug it.
- Just go straight for it.
- Yep, she's going for it.
Okay, just get fucked up already.
Okay.
'Cause she's happy on her own Did you make a decision? Uh yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna end it.
Good.
I'm sure that was difficult for you.
And I'm sorry that I came down on you so hard.
Okay.
Somebody needs to hold me accountable.
Oh, don't worry, I will.
You don't have to be so fuckin' excited about it.
[LAUGHS SOFTLY.]
- I'll see you Monday.
- Yeah, on Monday.
Home, home Home Baby, I'm home, I'm home, I'm home All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right.
Look, look, look, I really didn't want to do anything tonight.
All right? But here we all are.
- [WOMAN.]
Yeah! Whoo! - Appreciate you being here.
[WHOOPING, SHOUTING.]
But to those that do know me you know I earned this.
- Hear, hear.
- Happy birthday! Happy fuckin' birthday.
[CHEERING.]
Baby, I'm home, I'm home, I'm home Mmm hmm! Whoa.
Slow down, bro.
Why? It's free.
[LAUGHS.]
I wish Rebecca were here.
Aw, you got it bad, huh? Yeah, she's kind of the best.
She know how you feel about her? - [CLEARS THROAT.]
- I sent her a bunch of emojis.
Whoof! You stupid.
You got to talk to her.
Do I, though? I don't want to mess it up.
Look I have been there before.
Really? Yeah, and it's scary.
Yeah, right? - It's very scary.
- Yeah.
But it seems like she likes you a lot.
Baby, I'm home [SIGHS.]
Yeah.
Aw.
You got nothing to lose.
Baby, I'm home Yeah.
- Yeah! - Yeah! Okay.
Okay, I'm out.
- Dab up.
- No.
Hey, where are you going? You are a good friend.
- Mwah! - Oh.
Oh! What that body do Thank you.
Okay Now show me what that body do [HASSAN.]
Damn.
- Who is that? - My property manager.
He is hot.
Okay, okay - Hey.
- Hi.
I'm José.
- Hi.
- This is Hassan.
Excuse me.
Ooh.
Looks like you two are having a good time.
Yeah, you know, we were actually about to go dance.
Uh, you want a shot? Sure.
All right.
What are you doing here? Finley invited me.
Of course she did.
You've got to do If you work for me Okay, okay Now show me what that body do [NAT.]
So, how did the rest of - your day go with the reporter? - It was great.
- Oh, good.
- Yeah, it was great.
It wasn't great.
- Wasn't great.
- Oh.
What did you mean when you said - you said - Mm-hmm.
- I was hard to be with? - I think I said - finding a balance was hard.
- That's the same thing.
No, it's not.
You have a very demanding job, and we have giant lives, and it's all very new, and it's hard to navigate, you know, raising these kids, working, finding time to be with one another.
Like, it's a lot.
- Right, right, yeah.
- It's a lot.
Well, we're we're doing great.
Yeah, I agree.
Like, better than great, I think.
And things are going great with Gigi.
Right, like, Gigi's their other mom.
- She's a big part of the family now.
- Yeah.
- Are you guys talking about me? - Yes.
Stay, stay, stay.
We were just talking about how we're, you know, nailin' it.
What are we nailin'? - It.
All of it.
- Yeah, everything.
- Just crushin' it.
- If you say so.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
[BETTE.]
Here's the party! - Hi.
- Hi.
[GIGI.]
We're hoarding all the good booze.
- Good.
You should.
- Well, we have - a little surprise for you.
- Yes.
- For me? - Yeah.
But it's not my birthday.
- I know that.
- What is it? What is it? What is it? - You ready? - Yeah, give it up.
- Ta-da! - Boom.
Shut the fuck up! How did you get this so fast? - I have my sources.
- Wait, wait, let me see.
Wow.
"The Queen of Queer Life".
Oh, my gosh, that's incredible.
Oh, my God.
Why am I in this picture? Oh, God, I look terrible.
What are you talking about? It's the Church of Latter Day Saints.
- It's amazing.
- Or a cult in Portland.
"Alice Pieszecki with her family".
[NAT.]
We are a family.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
- They loved you.
[SHANE.]
Are you having a good time on my birthday? - [ALICE.]
Uh, never better.
- Good.
Would you like me to bring that - into the office for you? - Yes.
Thank you.
So sweet.
- Very sweet.
- So great.
Wow.
The Queen of Queer.
[GIGI.]
To that.
Queen of Queer.
Oh, man.
- Quite right.
- It's very true.
Got the family in it.
If you work for me Okay, okay You earned the pay [DOGS BARKING IN DISTANCE.]
[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE.]
[MUFFLED.]
She's here, actually.
- Yeah.
- Hi.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Hi! - You came.
- Oh, my God.
- [LAUGHS.]
Mmm mmm, mmm.
Ooh.
Been drinking a little, bud? - A little bit.
- [LAUGHS.]
Come-come on inside.
Um, I Can we talk for a second? Sure.
I'll be right back, you guys.
- Um - What's going on? Okay, so, remember this morning when you were wondering if I could get over the whole priest thing? - Yeah.
- Well, I can, because you're not a real priest.
You know, you have the church and, like, the outfits, but you're not it's not a real church, - so I can totally do it.
- [EXHALES.]
That's really hurtful.
No, I mean it.
I mean it, because Okay, when we first met, I was, like, freaking out, 'cause I thought, you know, I did it with Jesus.
[CHUCKLES.]
[SUCKS AIR THROUGH TEETH.]
No.
Um, but everything is cool now, because I love you.
I think you should go home.
Oh, what? Did you just hear what I said? I said - I heard you.
- Like-like, for real.
I'm gonna go call you a Lyft, okay? No, no, no.
No.
Come here.
- I think you should go.
- Come on.
Um Wow.
[CHUCKLES.]
Hmm.
Okay.
SLOW, SOMBER MUSIC Are you sure you don't want me to call you a Lyft? I can walk it.
Ooh, bitch, you better Ooh, bitch, you better Ooh, bitch, you better You better hit it, 'cause you should know better Touch down on the stage And know, bitch, I ain't come to play So, how do you know all these lesbians? I dated Dani back in college.
Before Oh, that is intense.
She's a really cute chick.
You know, you got good taste in men and women.
Sing it, sing it, sing it, shine Karaoke, yeah - You better - Ooh You better drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it Drop it, you got to work it, work it, work it, work it - Work it, work it - Ooh I want you to ruin my life You to ruin my life, you to ruin my life, yeah I want you to fuck up my nights, yeah Fuck up my nights, yeah, all of my nights, yeah I want you to bring it all on, if you make it all wrong Then I'll make it all right, yeah I want you to ruin my life You to ruin my life, you to ruin my life I want you to ruin my life, you to ruin my life You to ruin my life, yeah - Cheers.
- I want you to ruin my life You to ruin my life, you to ruin my life I miss you more than I thought that I could I miss you I know you missin' me, too, like you should I miss you I want you to ruin my life, you to ruin my life So, what do you do? Hey, um, I'm an actor, man.
You should come to my improv show next week.
- What day? - Tuesday night.
Oh.
Yeah, any other night, I would've been there.
You know, we got a Sunday matinee though.
You should come to that.
I'll save you a seat.
You to ruin my life, you to ruin my life, yeah I want you to fuck up my nights, yeah Fuck up my nights, yeah, all of my nights, yeah I want you to bring it all on, if you make it all wrong Then I'll make it all right, yeah, I want you to ruin My life, you to ruin my life, you to ruin my life I miss you, I miss you What are you looking at? [NAT.]
Nothing.
No one.
She's really beautiful.
You're beautiful.
Wait, wait.
Is there a part of you that still wants her? You can tell me.
I want you.
- I know.
I know.
- I want you.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
And her.
Come back to me Right? She's so great.
You to ruin my life, you to ruin my life, yeah, I want Hey! Come here! We need you! Get over here! [MOUTHS.]
We're talking about you.
I want you to ruin my life, you to ruin my life You to ruin my life Hi.
Hi.
[CHUCKLES.]
Hi.
You touch my mind when you talk to me You do it all the time when you close If this feels right when you talk to me Can we talk for a second? - What? - Can we talk for a second? Yeah.
You do it all the time when you close If this feels right when you talk to me Then do me like you know I'm yours I'm yours when you talk to me Do me like you know I'm yours I'm yours when you talk to me Do me like you know I'm yours I'm yours when you talk to me Do me like you know I'm yours I'm yours when you talk to me I love you, but it I see you called, I see you called I see you called just yesterday, why? See you called, why? See you called just yesterday I know you expect me to cry, cry Expect me to see other guys You calling me solo, but, baby, you don't know I'm really not solo, I'm really not solo You touch my mind when you talk to me You do it all the time when you close If this feels right when you talk to me Then do me like you know I'm yours You touch my mind when you talk to me You do it all the time when you close If this feels right when you talk to me Why do you keep looking at me like that? Like what? You're just smiling at me.
It's just the face my face makes when I'm around you.
You're sending me really confusing signals.
Do you realize that? You bail on me, no explanation, and then you just show up here.
What am I supposed to do with that? - I know.
- No, no, no.
I've been clear with what I want.
Tell me what you want.
Tell me what you're thinking.
Are you into me? What do you want? Just What the fuck do you want? "ILOMILO" BY BILLIE EILISH Told you not to worry [MOANING.]
But maybe that's a lie Honey, what's your hurry? Won't you stay inside? Remember not to get Too close to stars They're never gonna give you love like ours Where did you go? I should know But it's cold and I don't want To be lonely, so show me the way home I can't lose another life Hurry I'm worried Do you want to get out of here? Yeah, I do.
Or maybe it's my eyes [PANTING.]
The friends I've had to bury, bury, bury, bury, bury They keep me up at night, night, night, night, night Said I couldn't love someone 'cause I might break If you're gonna die, not by mistake So, where did you go? I should know But it's cold and I don't want to be lonely So tell me you'll come home Even if it's just a lie I tried not to upset you Let you rescue Me the day I met you I just wanted To protect you But now I'll never get to Hurry I'm worried Where did you go? I should know But it's cold, and I don't want to be lonely Was hoping you'd come home I don't care if it's a lie [EXHALES.]
Guess I'm in denial Maybe I'm wrong This place looks amazing.
I'm so selfish Ah, ah Is there something that you want to tell me? What do you mean? Okay, let me put this a different way.
I know that there's something going on between the two of you.
I can feel it.
I'm so selfish I got a very big ego embedded in me What are you talking about, Tess? You know, when you look back on our relationship, I want you to know it wasn't your infidelity that ended us.
It was this moment.
Now, is there anything that you want to tell me? I'm sorry.
- Oh, fuck.
- I'm sorry.
Fuck.
- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
- Oh, my God.
Don't touch me.
I can't do this.
I need to get out of here.
Doesn't faze, doesn't bother me, honestly I can't sleep at night Shit.
[ALL.]
Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday Dear Shane Happy birthday to you [CHEERING, WHOOPING.]
- I love you both.
- Seriously.
Thank you so much.
'Cause it's more intimate You okay, honey? Holy shit.
Oh my God.
Too scared of what she'll see Somebody holding me When I wake up all alone And I'm thinking of your skin I remember, I remember what you told me Happy birthday.
Said that we're not lovers We're just strangers With the same damn hunger To be touched, to be loved So, I had a threesome last night.
- So, you're a throuple now? - What're you saying? [BOTH.]
Throuple.
All I'm asking is for you to be my partner.
Well then tell me what that looks like.
- Do you remember what you said to me? - No.
You need to work on your own shit.
- This is amazing.
- I love you.
[MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY.]
- [MUSIC RESUMES.]
- I'll see you later.
- That was an error.
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
What do you need to hear right now? I want you to fight for this.
MUSIC ENDS