The Net (1998) s01e04 Episode Script
Bulls and Bears
The satellite is ours to sell.
I will be there tomorrow.
The Praetorians have been manipulating the funds of a small stock brokerage firm.
It's a hot market.
Everybody thinks they can invest $100 and buy a new Porsche.
The brokerage firm loans the Praetorians money but only over weekends.
They pay it back Monday morning.
But every time they borrow, they borrow larger and larger sums.
So maybe they go to Vegas to flash enough dough to get free Wayne Newton tickets.
- This isn't funny.
- We do agree on something.
I need you to get inside the brokerage firm.
- How? - I've set you up with a résumé.
You're a Rhodes Scholar with an MBA in business.
I don't know anything about the stock market.
Angela, when you were in grad school you wrote a thesis on the future of computer technology on Wall Street.
You have a job interview tomorrow morning.
The boss's name is Carol Waters.
Carol Waters? So, she's going to hire me just because I'm a Rhodes Scholar? Well, we all hired Bill Clinton.
Yeah, but he told us what kind of underwear he was wearing.
Listen, so, if the Praetorians aren't going to Vegas what do you think they're going to do with the money? So far, nothing.
- Is Waters in on it? - I think they're setting her up.
Why then would she lend out her clients' money? Because Carol Waters gets five percent of the amount loaned.
It's easy money and she likes to spend it.
A hustler with a heart of gold just trying to make that one big score.
- Are you okay? - I never made it over the logs before.
Were you trying to do that? What are you doing? - I'm calling 911.
I'm calling them.
- No, no, I'm fine! These punks are ruining the park! Hey, I need that! My name is Angela Bennett.
I discovered a group of computer terrorists.
They erased my life.
They made me into a criminal.
I am not going to stop until I get my life back.
But if they did this to me, they could do this to you.
THE NET 1x04 "BULLS AND BEARS" Wait, what are you talking to me about? You're nervous.
Come on, Paul.
Just answer me.
How much did I make you last year? We're clearing $16,000 of recommended Big Blue because we're not the type of company- Listen, sweetheart, not a problem.
You borrow the money on Friday, I get it back on Monday.
No harm, no foul, long as I get my five percent.
Do you want me to sign anything? Yeah, just the lunch bill, sweetheart, when it's your turn to feed me.
I'll bring a pen.
Sure, go ahead, you all be that way.
Stay in the slow lane, get run over by a bicycle.
I'm Angela Weber.
Hold on.
I'm surrounded by cheapness and bad timing.
- Can I help you with something? - Yeah, I need Carol Waters.
She's the loud one over there.
You know what I mean.
I don't want to hear no.
All right? No! We're gonna make you a lot of money.
What, are you crazy? Ciao.
- Ms Waters? - Not Ms, Miss.
What, we drop the "S" and suddenly we're liberated? No, thanks.
Call me a chick, a babe, a broad, a bimbo.
As long as the cheque clears, I'm a free man.
- I have an appointment.
- Yeah, with a makeover lady, I hope.
You know, when I was your age, we used to have to dress up for an interview not down, but I like it, you know, cas.
Right.
I'm Angela Weber.
At least you don't have that yuppie thing going on, you know with the bleached teeth and the $500 pair of shoes.
Did your mother go to Woodstock? You look so familiar to me.
If it was your mom, and it probably wasn't anyway she and I were both chasing after this activist guy who looked a lot like Che Guevara except with better hair.
Anyway, you look just like her.
You went to Woodstock? Hell, who didn't? You know, that's what we were doing back then.
Everybody was getting on the bus, you know what I mean? Right, before yuppies were bleaching their teeth.
That's right! Civil rights, women's rights, dump Nixon, free love.
"Get on the bus, baby.
" That's what was the deal.
- What happened? - What happened? They sent us credit cards in the mail.
We started paying off our student loans.
Boom.
They had us.
The bus ran out of gas.
I went into sales, sold Ralph Nader a Corvair.
The guy hasn't shut up about it since.
So, you're a Rhodes Scholar.
You play the sax, Miss Weber? - I'm sorry? - Forget it.
You're hired.
I'm hired just like that? Why not? You remind me of somebody I knew.
And tell your mom that guy may have looked like a revolutionary but there was nothing revolutionary about the way he did the horizontal.
Thank you.
That's great.
I really needed this job.
Forget it.
Sit down.
Five years ago, I was selling real estate.
Before that, aluminium siding, cardboard shoes, cosmetics.
But the stock market, the stock market is the lover I have always been waiting for.
And there's plenty of it to go around.
Let me tell you what we've got here.
Small company, great researchers.
We got a new anticancer drug called Escalon.
They're going public with the stock.
I'm handling it.
Wow.
Congratulations.
That sounds exciting.
No, honey, the '60s were exciting.
This, this is heaven in a nicer hat.
Now, this is the first time I've had my hands around this kind of potential.
Usually, it goes to the yuppie jerks on Wall Street.
- Wearing the $500 shoes.
- Right on, sister.
Now, the FDA is gonna approve this drug and we are gonna be scraping money off the ceiling.
- What is this stock going to open at? - $2 a share maybe.
- And how many shares? - About 100 million.
Speed-read this.
The facts should be pretty simple.
They give us money.
We make them rich.
We're collecting the commission off both ends.
Is recess over already? Well, take a nap if you like.
I got work to do.
- Did you have fun? - I had a great workout.
- What about you? - I almost broke a sweat.
Thanks.
Trelawney.
No.
Give me 30 seconds.
I got Olivier coming up in the vidlinks.
If he sees you up here like that, he's bound to get the wrong idea.
And what is the idea exactly? Not to get caught with our pants down, dear.
Go on.
- You're such a romantic.
- It goes with the job.
Sir? I expect the satellite is in our control, Mr.
Trelawney.
We're very close, sir.
"Close" is not an operative word in our conversation.
We need that satellite in place now.
I've had to raise a very large sum of money, sir.
That's your job, Trelawney.
You're a criminal.
You were supposed to be gifted in these matters.
It'll happen, sir.
Our satellite network must be functional by the agreed-upon time.
- Now, how have you raised the money? - Pharmaceutical stocks, sir.
The FDA's testing a cancer cure.
The drug is called Escalon.
We've manipulated the research and the results.
Floated rumours all over the net that the drug works breakthrough chemotherapy.
There's gonna be a public stock offering.
We should gain access to an excess of $100 million of research capital.
- And who's the broker? - Carol Waters at Publix.
- Does this drug work? - Of course not.
Good.
The last thing we need is a cure for cancer.
A word of caution about the Russians: they're unafraid.
It's my job to make them afraid, sir.
It won't be a problem.
Escalon, yeah, it cures cancer maybe.
Well, I mean, really it's up to the FDA.
Are you sure? Well, it is only $2 a share.
You've been really polite, too.
Thank you.
Okay.
Bye.
You're too nice.
Look, you've got to tell them that this drug is the future of cancer research.
A real cure.
- I can't lie.
- Nobody's asking you to lie.
You just don't have to tell the whole truth unless it's to your priest or something.
Look, I want you to order pizza for the gang.
I gotta go crunch a big number lunch and then after that, you and I are going to go on a shopping spree that's gonna make Imelda Marcos look like a bargain hunter.
Why are you doing this? Because maybe you're the baby I gave away.
That's the trouble with most women that I meet.
They don't know the difference between Modigliani and Mondrian.
- They think you're talking about wine.
- Precisely.
But if you think you can schmooze me, Romeo then you've been drinking too much of it.
- Well, you're a smart girl.
- Vintage is everything.
So, let's get on with it, shall we? I hear you're handling a public offering in pharmaceuticals? Where did you hear that? It's all over Wall Street.
You're the talk of the walk, lady.
Wow.
It must be my 15 minutes.
Yeah, it's a new cancer research drug.
And I figure even if I open at $2 a share, my house can make $100 million.
I commission on both ends.
What is that? Maybe $10 million.
That's a lot of money.
Yeah, but you know, the closer I get to $10 million, the smaller it seems.
No, I was talking about the $100 million.
Yeah.
Great, huh? I figure with that kind of research money they ought to be able to take a bite out of the big "C," huh? - Can we borrow it? - The $10 million? Sure.
Usual five percent.
- $5 million dollars.
- I'm glad you don't do my taxes.
Five percent of $10 million is $50,000 unfortunately.
Yes, but I want to borrow the whole $100 million.
This arrangement has worked out very well for us both in the past, hasn't it? $5 million dollars.
That's half of what you make on the commissions.
Pay the tax on the $10 million, you'll get hold on this very quickly, Carol.
Yeah, but nobody ever went broke turning a profit, even a small one.
You want to stay a small player.
Well, that's safe.
And you're good at it.
You don't have to wave it around.
I'm not impressed.
We can make some big money here, easy.
It's "look, Ma, no hands.
" What do you do with this kind of money? Can I trust you? - Can you trust me? - Yeah.
I've been fronting you for the last three months for five percent and a free lunch, remember? My associates and I play the Asian markets over the weekend.
When it's still Sunday over here, it's a business-as-usual Monday in Tokyo.
We get a free day to play their markets thanks to the international dateline.
Okay, maybe you should do my taxes.
There's gonna be a huge rebound this weekend.
Billy Clinton and the boys are finally going to shore up the sagging yen.
We make a bundle.
You make $5 million dollars just for letting us e-mail your money around the world.
Is it legal? As long as we don't get caught, yes.
Can I think about it? No.
We have other clients waiting to partner on this one.
Well, it's a hell of a chance for you, Carol.
But if you'd rather stay small then I'll just go off with another client.
Well, listen, as long as it's back on the account on Monday morning hell, I don't care if you wallpaper your house with it.
Cheque, please.
What is it about the Americans? Is it the later they are, the more important they feel or what? Hey, he is the customer.
In America, they are always right.
So we wait, no big worry.
He's so self-important.
Drives me nuts.
I hate it.
Sergei, this is a country full of people who spend half of their life driving to a job they hate so they can buy things they don't need.
And this one thinks he needs a satellite, our satellite.
And for that, we get 100 million pieces of the American dream.
Every American in a fast car thinks he's James Dean.
James Dean is dead.
- Is that why you're late? - Yeah, it was a long funeral.
You've got a piece of military hardware to offer me? It's right up there.
If you brought a telescope, I'll point it out for you.
- I'll just have to trust you.
- Good, because we have to trust you.
- Does it work? - Of course it does.
Chill out, Boris.
I just get nervous buying a $100 million satellite from a country that couldn't build a washing machine.
You're a funny man, Trelawney.
But only a fool laughs at the dance of failure.
You a poet? I hear that's real big over there.
I was KGB.
But this is a gem of technology.
encrypted communication channels.
It's only got 206 working channels, Sergei and its orbit is decaying so fast, we'll be lucky to get four years out of it before it goes into spin cycle and burns up in the atmosphere.
You want it, or should we just kill you? You're never gonna have that choice but you are learning about business.
So, why don't you take the $100 mill open up that sausage plant you and Mr.
Cabbage have been dreaming about over a bottle of potato juice? - Don't push me.
- Oh, yeah, I forgot.
KGB.
Well, don't push me, comrade.
I'm PBK.
Phi Beta Kappa nightmare.
Now, you got a satellite? I've got $100 million.
It's a done deal.
If it doesn't work, you're dead.
It works, I'm happy.
End of story, Moe.
Why don't you take Larry and Curly, drive the hell out of here? Keep making me laugh, Trelawney.
Keep me happy.
It's good advice.
Just plug me into your Sputnik when you get the money, meathead.
That's better advice.
We'll see.
Where the hell have you been? Why haven't you made contact? I couldn't.
T-46 is gone.
Eaten by a lawn mower And how do we communicate from now on? We seem to be doing all right tonight.
That's how it's gonna have to work.
The Praetorians won't be paying Carol back this Monday like they have in the past.
- This time the money will be gone.
- Who loses? A dummy corporation I used to front the stock buy.
I manipulated the funds from a cocaine cartel in Colombia.
- Well, that's not going to make them happy.
- Well, that's the idea.
The Praetorians need one more satellite in their communication network.
There's a Russian one for sale.
They needed to raise a large sum of non-traceable cash.
They're still going to get the satellite.
It's just dirty money now.
I put you inside to stop all of that, Angela.
It's our job.
Sir, the stock is moving at $20 a share.
I can still get you a quarter million shares for $5 a share.
My friend, you have exactly 10 minutes to get on this rocket Everybody, boys and girls, may I please have your attention! Listen, everybody Publix Trust has the next big barbarian banging on the gate.
I'm talking a real superstar.
I am holding the validation for a $500,000 Escalon sale! - Guess who the new kid on the block is? - I'm not that new, Carol.
You got that right, Mr.
Come-Blow-Your-Own-Horn because it ain't you.
Angela Weber, the new welterweight champion of Escalon.
What are you talking about, Carol? Sweetheart, I told you.
Modesty is a terrible trait.
I am sitting here with a P.
O.
validated from Sorcerer International for $500,000 worth of cancer cure! - That's impossible.
- Not when you dress for success.
See, my buying you these outfits was a great investment of mine.
- But who the hell is Sorcerer International? - I have no idea.
Okay.
Well, you know, I'd rather be lucky than good too, huh? I protect my clients at this place too, Ange.
Someone tried to close a deal on my wife.
- I didn't know it was your wife, Michael.
- It was at my wedding, Carl.
- You got a rich daddy, Angela? - Not that I know of, no.
Hey, you leave her alone, Carl.
It was her sale.
Yeah, right.
She just walks in here, she closes a deal just like that, huh? I've been here a long time, Carol.
House deals go to the top man.
That's always the way it works.
I am the top man! This was no house deal, Carl.
And you used to be the top man, but now there's a new one.
Nice job, Angela.
That was a monster of a close.
- Thank you.
- Get over it, Carl.
All right, everybody, ladies and gentlemen, let's get back to those phones because a stock buy like this is gonna send Escalon right over the top! Come on.
Everybody, back.
Let's go! Tell your wife.
Just buy her a new car this weekend.
That's right, sir, the stock has moved to $20 a share.
It doesn't work.
No, see because we can't do that.
I'm afraid you have exactly 10 minutes to get on this rocket ship.
Nobody knocks.
Come in! Hey, gorgeous.
- Can I talk to you? - Sure, doll.
What's up? First, you were an aluminium siding salesperson and then you sold cardboard shoes.
And now you are the hottest stockbroker in town.
- I'm lucky, huh? - I don't think there's such a thing.
No, doll, you're wrong because up until now all of mine has been bad.
There was $100 million in the firm account.
- And if that's not luck, then what is it? - It's gone.
The Escalon accounts have been drained.
Are you lending the money out? Listen, sweetheart, this really isn't your end of the rope, okay? Why don't you let Mommy handle this? I'm not adopted.
I know that.
I was speaking euphemistically.
Come on, don't get serious on me here.
It doesn't go with your pretty dress.
- I think that you are being set up.
- You're wrong.
I'm getting even.
- For what? - For the life I never got to have, okay? I was always this close, just inches away, living on bounced cheques and latching onto any loser who came along and told me I was pretty.
It was a tough gig.
- Is that why you gave your baby away? - Yes, it is.
Well, I think that was a tremendously generous thing to do.
Not really.
I just loved her so much I had no choice.
I need you to pull the Escalon stock loan.
I am making five percent on a $100 million for a two-day loan.
Are you from the Securities Exchange Commission? - No.
- Then stay the hell out of it! Call the loan, Carol.
Don't do it.
What do you mean, the deal is off? I mean, it's real simple.
I'm not lending you the money.
Why the change of heart? Well, I had a sudden attack of integrity, I guess.
- Unfortunate.
- Yeah, for you.
It's already lent.
Happy Easter.
You made some money before, this time you lost.
Check your spreadsheets, Carol.
- No, I'm going to jail.
- Probably.
- All right, I'm taking you with me! - Feel free to try.
Oh, my God.
Ladies and gentlemen, my fellow carnivores to the biggest meat eater of them all! - Elegant.
- Oh, yeah.
Always soft-spoken.
Let's hear it for our Carol.
And to the research rats who made this miracle drug possible.
Rats who gave their lives to save ours! Rats who, thanks to Escalon will live long rat-like lives, so let's give a rat's ass for the rat's ass! Where's your superstar, Carol? - She quit.
- What? Yeah, she took her quick little profit and ran.
How do you like that? You know, some people, you just can't get to know them no matter how close you get.
Who does that sound like? It sounds like you and me, doesn't it, Carl? - I'll take that as a compliment.
- Oh, yeah? Well, don't.
It's really nothing to be proud of.
The most money I ever made was when Somalia fell.
All those crying babies on television, they drove the market through the roof.
- You do know you're going to hell, right? - Yes, and in a very nice car.
- Hey, superstar! Buy you a drink? - I have to find Carol.
She left.
Did you try the office? Missing the party.
Carol.
Don't do it.
Why not? Listen, sweetheart, look, this has nothing to do with you, okay? Now, don't be a hero.
I'm not a hero.
I'm your friend.
You have lots of them.
Oh, yeah? What do they look like? I can't seem to recognise them.
They look like me.
Yeah? Well, who the hell are you, huh? Who are you? I don't know! Not anymore.
- Well, join the club.
- I didn't choose this.
My life was stolen from me.
The past and friends and everything, it's gone.
What are you Who would do that to you? What are you talking about? The same people who did it to you.
They have a plan to rule the world by making chaos for everything that we do.
Well, just tell them they can forget about me, okay? My life is chaos.
They win.
I mean, I failed.
I failed at everything.
You didn't fail at being my friend.
Well, I'm working on it.
They made my dad disappear without even a word.
I don't know if he's dead, alive.
That's how powerful they are.
Do you think Do you think my kid thinks about me like that, wonders where I am? Of course.
Of course.
Oh, Angela.
on Wall Street that blew the big deal Don't let them win.
It's not your style.
Come on, where's that girl who got on the bus? Following the money from Carol's transfer it bounced until it finally landed in the Cayman Islands.
Now, I need you to find out where the money ended up after that.
This is going to take all night.
Breaking and entering isn't supposed to be easy.
It's cocaine money, Sorcerer.
It's dirty money.
So, let's clean it up.
Spend it on cancer research.
Escalon is a real company.
They're trying to find a cancer cure.
They just weren't as close as the Praetorians wanted everyone to believe.
They have manipulated the truth from the start.
Can Carol still get a commission? They all worked really hard on this.
Of course.
Where is Carol? She's sleeping off a suicide attempt.
You have very little time.
I know.
Do you always have to travel with an entourage? It's something I learnt from Eddie Murphy.
It keeps the paparazzi at a distance.
Yeah, the whole world is just dying to have a picture of you to put in their wallet.
Money is the celebrity of your country, not mine.
Haven't you boys heard? You don't have a country anymore.
Your entourage? Entourette.
It's like we agreed.
You void your satellite lock codes, we uplink our new codes and lock them in.
You free your money, and we transfer to our bank.
Then you lock in your codes.
You know what to do.
Another avenue's blocked.
It's the last one.
No, no, they're moving the money again.
The pathway worked.
I'm in.
We did it.
I redirected the pathway.
The money is on its way back.
This is going to make the Praetorians crazy.
We're stabilizing the orbit now, sir.
Downlinks are secured.
We should be fully operational within 12 hours.
It was supposed to have been online an hour ago.
Yes, this Russian hardware, sir.
Compatibility necessitated downgrading the interface to the Nixon era.
President Nixon was my friend.
The Russians are online.
They say the money is missing.
But we're running a search on it now.
Bring them up.
Problem, comrade? The money is not where you said it would be.
You lost it.
Your problem.
- I can make it yours.
- Don't threaten me.
Maybe some Bolshevik intellectual you had locked up in Siberia lost the money in a snow drift.
- This is mistake, Trelawney.
- My first one of the day.
- Give me your codes.
- Nyet, Sergei.
Say hi to Curly and Larry for me.
It was taken.
The source of the steal was Publix, Carol's office.
The funds have been forwarded into the Escalon Laboratories.
- How the hell did that happen? - Sorcerer put someone inside.
Our inquiries are bringing up a description.
We got a female, dark hair, mid-20s.
A whole new identity.
They'll never find you.
- You mean I can be anybody I want to be? - Yes.
Who do you admire? I admire you.
That's not a good idea.
Grace Slick.
I always wanted to be Grace Slick, except before she went into rehab.
Name? First name, Grace.
- Last name? - Mitchell.
- As in Joni? - That's right.
That's me.
- Grace Mitchell.
- Okay, pretty lady.
Stand back.
Say, "Right arm farm out.
" Right arm farm out! - Where do you want to live? - Paris.
- Can I live in Paris? - Très bien! Paris! I want you to keep the car.
Carol, I Don't even think about saying no.
- Here.
- I wasn't going to.
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you.
Good living is the best revenge.
Let's go, Angela.
What are you doing? How have you been? Come on.
Out! It's our picnic.
I'm going to find out where the Sorcerer is.
- I don't know where he is.
- I think you do.
I've grown very fond of you.
Is it okay for me to make that kind of a confession? - I don't know.
I'm not a priest.
- Neither am I! That's a shocker.
- Where's the Sorcerer? - I don't know! I told you, I haven't known since the day that I met you.
I've been too busy trying to stay alive! Don't move! Drop the gun! You, go.
Who are you? You know who I am, because we know who you are.
I'm the enemy of your enemy, which means we're friends.
Go.
Go.
If you let me keep her, I'll give you back the satellite codes.
We don't need her to get the codes.
We only need you.
Do you know who I work for? No.
But I work for myself.
First time in four generations.
Now, give me the satellite lock codes.
You're a dead man.
Like you, I die a little every day just to survive.
What are your lock codes for the satellite? Go to hell! Fella, this is hell.
As you can see, the last satellite has been brought into orbit.
The final link in our network.
What happened? Someone has gotten in and changed the lock codes.
Damn this incompetence! Gentlemen, I apologise, and this problem will be corrected.
I can assure you.
What the hell is that? There it is again! What the hell is that noise? Pull over.
See what that noise is.
It's driving me nuts! It's Trelawney.
Looks like he's been in an accident.
- Is he alive? - I believe so, sir.
Well, in that case drive him to the hospital.
- Carol must be a very nice lady.
- You guys would be great together.
- What makes you say that? - 'Cause you're both nuts.
- You should ask her out, but you wouldn't.
- How do you know that? Because you like all this hide and seek, good guys, bad guys stuff.
- Reminds you of the '60s.
- What makes you think I remember the '60s? Your corny syntax and lousy sense of humour.
Why do you got to do me like that? - Now you sound like an anachronism.
- Come on, man, give me my props.
Who are you trying to be, Sorcerer? Someone who's doing the right thing, Ange.
Just like you.
I will be there tomorrow.
The Praetorians have been manipulating the funds of a small stock brokerage firm.
It's a hot market.
Everybody thinks they can invest $100 and buy a new Porsche.
The brokerage firm loans the Praetorians money but only over weekends.
They pay it back Monday morning.
But every time they borrow, they borrow larger and larger sums.
So maybe they go to Vegas to flash enough dough to get free Wayne Newton tickets.
- This isn't funny.
- We do agree on something.
I need you to get inside the brokerage firm.
- How? - I've set you up with a résumé.
You're a Rhodes Scholar with an MBA in business.
I don't know anything about the stock market.
Angela, when you were in grad school you wrote a thesis on the future of computer technology on Wall Street.
You have a job interview tomorrow morning.
The boss's name is Carol Waters.
Carol Waters? So, she's going to hire me just because I'm a Rhodes Scholar? Well, we all hired Bill Clinton.
Yeah, but he told us what kind of underwear he was wearing.
Listen, so, if the Praetorians aren't going to Vegas what do you think they're going to do with the money? So far, nothing.
- Is Waters in on it? - I think they're setting her up.
Why then would she lend out her clients' money? Because Carol Waters gets five percent of the amount loaned.
It's easy money and she likes to spend it.
A hustler with a heart of gold just trying to make that one big score.
- Are you okay? - I never made it over the logs before.
Were you trying to do that? What are you doing? - I'm calling 911.
I'm calling them.
- No, no, I'm fine! These punks are ruining the park! Hey, I need that! My name is Angela Bennett.
I discovered a group of computer terrorists.
They erased my life.
They made me into a criminal.
I am not going to stop until I get my life back.
But if they did this to me, they could do this to you.
THE NET 1x04 "BULLS AND BEARS" Wait, what are you talking to me about? You're nervous.
Come on, Paul.
Just answer me.
How much did I make you last year? We're clearing $16,000 of recommended Big Blue because we're not the type of company- Listen, sweetheart, not a problem.
You borrow the money on Friday, I get it back on Monday.
No harm, no foul, long as I get my five percent.
Do you want me to sign anything? Yeah, just the lunch bill, sweetheart, when it's your turn to feed me.
I'll bring a pen.
Sure, go ahead, you all be that way.
Stay in the slow lane, get run over by a bicycle.
I'm Angela Weber.
Hold on.
I'm surrounded by cheapness and bad timing.
- Can I help you with something? - Yeah, I need Carol Waters.
She's the loud one over there.
You know what I mean.
I don't want to hear no.
All right? No! We're gonna make you a lot of money.
What, are you crazy? Ciao.
- Ms Waters? - Not Ms, Miss.
What, we drop the "S" and suddenly we're liberated? No, thanks.
Call me a chick, a babe, a broad, a bimbo.
As long as the cheque clears, I'm a free man.
- I have an appointment.
- Yeah, with a makeover lady, I hope.
You know, when I was your age, we used to have to dress up for an interview not down, but I like it, you know, cas.
Right.
I'm Angela Weber.
At least you don't have that yuppie thing going on, you know with the bleached teeth and the $500 pair of shoes.
Did your mother go to Woodstock? You look so familiar to me.
If it was your mom, and it probably wasn't anyway she and I were both chasing after this activist guy who looked a lot like Che Guevara except with better hair.
Anyway, you look just like her.
You went to Woodstock? Hell, who didn't? You know, that's what we were doing back then.
Everybody was getting on the bus, you know what I mean? Right, before yuppies were bleaching their teeth.
That's right! Civil rights, women's rights, dump Nixon, free love.
"Get on the bus, baby.
" That's what was the deal.
- What happened? - What happened? They sent us credit cards in the mail.
We started paying off our student loans.
Boom.
They had us.
The bus ran out of gas.
I went into sales, sold Ralph Nader a Corvair.
The guy hasn't shut up about it since.
So, you're a Rhodes Scholar.
You play the sax, Miss Weber? - I'm sorry? - Forget it.
You're hired.
I'm hired just like that? Why not? You remind me of somebody I knew.
And tell your mom that guy may have looked like a revolutionary but there was nothing revolutionary about the way he did the horizontal.
Thank you.
That's great.
I really needed this job.
Forget it.
Sit down.
Five years ago, I was selling real estate.
Before that, aluminium siding, cardboard shoes, cosmetics.
But the stock market, the stock market is the lover I have always been waiting for.
And there's plenty of it to go around.
Let me tell you what we've got here.
Small company, great researchers.
We got a new anticancer drug called Escalon.
They're going public with the stock.
I'm handling it.
Wow.
Congratulations.
That sounds exciting.
No, honey, the '60s were exciting.
This, this is heaven in a nicer hat.
Now, this is the first time I've had my hands around this kind of potential.
Usually, it goes to the yuppie jerks on Wall Street.
- Wearing the $500 shoes.
- Right on, sister.
Now, the FDA is gonna approve this drug and we are gonna be scraping money off the ceiling.
- What is this stock going to open at? - $2 a share maybe.
- And how many shares? - About 100 million.
Speed-read this.
The facts should be pretty simple.
They give us money.
We make them rich.
We're collecting the commission off both ends.
Is recess over already? Well, take a nap if you like.
I got work to do.
- Did you have fun? - I had a great workout.
- What about you? - I almost broke a sweat.
Thanks.
Trelawney.
No.
Give me 30 seconds.
I got Olivier coming up in the vidlinks.
If he sees you up here like that, he's bound to get the wrong idea.
And what is the idea exactly? Not to get caught with our pants down, dear.
Go on.
- You're such a romantic.
- It goes with the job.
Sir? I expect the satellite is in our control, Mr.
Trelawney.
We're very close, sir.
"Close" is not an operative word in our conversation.
We need that satellite in place now.
I've had to raise a very large sum of money, sir.
That's your job, Trelawney.
You're a criminal.
You were supposed to be gifted in these matters.
It'll happen, sir.
Our satellite network must be functional by the agreed-upon time.
- Now, how have you raised the money? - Pharmaceutical stocks, sir.
The FDA's testing a cancer cure.
The drug is called Escalon.
We've manipulated the research and the results.
Floated rumours all over the net that the drug works breakthrough chemotherapy.
There's gonna be a public stock offering.
We should gain access to an excess of $100 million of research capital.
- And who's the broker? - Carol Waters at Publix.
- Does this drug work? - Of course not.
Good.
The last thing we need is a cure for cancer.
A word of caution about the Russians: they're unafraid.
It's my job to make them afraid, sir.
It won't be a problem.
Escalon, yeah, it cures cancer maybe.
Well, I mean, really it's up to the FDA.
Are you sure? Well, it is only $2 a share.
You've been really polite, too.
Thank you.
Okay.
Bye.
You're too nice.
Look, you've got to tell them that this drug is the future of cancer research.
A real cure.
- I can't lie.
- Nobody's asking you to lie.
You just don't have to tell the whole truth unless it's to your priest or something.
Look, I want you to order pizza for the gang.
I gotta go crunch a big number lunch and then after that, you and I are going to go on a shopping spree that's gonna make Imelda Marcos look like a bargain hunter.
Why are you doing this? Because maybe you're the baby I gave away.
That's the trouble with most women that I meet.
They don't know the difference between Modigliani and Mondrian.
- They think you're talking about wine.
- Precisely.
But if you think you can schmooze me, Romeo then you've been drinking too much of it.
- Well, you're a smart girl.
- Vintage is everything.
So, let's get on with it, shall we? I hear you're handling a public offering in pharmaceuticals? Where did you hear that? It's all over Wall Street.
You're the talk of the walk, lady.
Wow.
It must be my 15 minutes.
Yeah, it's a new cancer research drug.
And I figure even if I open at $2 a share, my house can make $100 million.
I commission on both ends.
What is that? Maybe $10 million.
That's a lot of money.
Yeah, but you know, the closer I get to $10 million, the smaller it seems.
No, I was talking about the $100 million.
Yeah.
Great, huh? I figure with that kind of research money they ought to be able to take a bite out of the big "C," huh? - Can we borrow it? - The $10 million? Sure.
Usual five percent.
- $5 million dollars.
- I'm glad you don't do my taxes.
Five percent of $10 million is $50,000 unfortunately.
Yes, but I want to borrow the whole $100 million.
This arrangement has worked out very well for us both in the past, hasn't it? $5 million dollars.
That's half of what you make on the commissions.
Pay the tax on the $10 million, you'll get hold on this very quickly, Carol.
Yeah, but nobody ever went broke turning a profit, even a small one.
You want to stay a small player.
Well, that's safe.
And you're good at it.
You don't have to wave it around.
I'm not impressed.
We can make some big money here, easy.
It's "look, Ma, no hands.
" What do you do with this kind of money? Can I trust you? - Can you trust me? - Yeah.
I've been fronting you for the last three months for five percent and a free lunch, remember? My associates and I play the Asian markets over the weekend.
When it's still Sunday over here, it's a business-as-usual Monday in Tokyo.
We get a free day to play their markets thanks to the international dateline.
Okay, maybe you should do my taxes.
There's gonna be a huge rebound this weekend.
Billy Clinton and the boys are finally going to shore up the sagging yen.
We make a bundle.
You make $5 million dollars just for letting us e-mail your money around the world.
Is it legal? As long as we don't get caught, yes.
Can I think about it? No.
We have other clients waiting to partner on this one.
Well, it's a hell of a chance for you, Carol.
But if you'd rather stay small then I'll just go off with another client.
Well, listen, as long as it's back on the account on Monday morning hell, I don't care if you wallpaper your house with it.
Cheque, please.
What is it about the Americans? Is it the later they are, the more important they feel or what? Hey, he is the customer.
In America, they are always right.
So we wait, no big worry.
He's so self-important.
Drives me nuts.
I hate it.
Sergei, this is a country full of people who spend half of their life driving to a job they hate so they can buy things they don't need.
And this one thinks he needs a satellite, our satellite.
And for that, we get 100 million pieces of the American dream.
Every American in a fast car thinks he's James Dean.
James Dean is dead.
- Is that why you're late? - Yeah, it was a long funeral.
You've got a piece of military hardware to offer me? It's right up there.
If you brought a telescope, I'll point it out for you.
- I'll just have to trust you.
- Good, because we have to trust you.
- Does it work? - Of course it does.
Chill out, Boris.
I just get nervous buying a $100 million satellite from a country that couldn't build a washing machine.
You're a funny man, Trelawney.
But only a fool laughs at the dance of failure.
You a poet? I hear that's real big over there.
I was KGB.
But this is a gem of technology.
encrypted communication channels.
It's only got 206 working channels, Sergei and its orbit is decaying so fast, we'll be lucky to get four years out of it before it goes into spin cycle and burns up in the atmosphere.
You want it, or should we just kill you? You're never gonna have that choice but you are learning about business.
So, why don't you take the $100 mill open up that sausage plant you and Mr.
Cabbage have been dreaming about over a bottle of potato juice? - Don't push me.
- Oh, yeah, I forgot.
KGB.
Well, don't push me, comrade.
I'm PBK.
Phi Beta Kappa nightmare.
Now, you got a satellite? I've got $100 million.
It's a done deal.
If it doesn't work, you're dead.
It works, I'm happy.
End of story, Moe.
Why don't you take Larry and Curly, drive the hell out of here? Keep making me laugh, Trelawney.
Keep me happy.
It's good advice.
Just plug me into your Sputnik when you get the money, meathead.
That's better advice.
We'll see.
Where the hell have you been? Why haven't you made contact? I couldn't.
T-46 is gone.
Eaten by a lawn mower And how do we communicate from now on? We seem to be doing all right tonight.
That's how it's gonna have to work.
The Praetorians won't be paying Carol back this Monday like they have in the past.
- This time the money will be gone.
- Who loses? A dummy corporation I used to front the stock buy.
I manipulated the funds from a cocaine cartel in Colombia.
- Well, that's not going to make them happy.
- Well, that's the idea.
The Praetorians need one more satellite in their communication network.
There's a Russian one for sale.
They needed to raise a large sum of non-traceable cash.
They're still going to get the satellite.
It's just dirty money now.
I put you inside to stop all of that, Angela.
It's our job.
Sir, the stock is moving at $20 a share.
I can still get you a quarter million shares for $5 a share.
My friend, you have exactly 10 minutes to get on this rocket Everybody, boys and girls, may I please have your attention! Listen, everybody Publix Trust has the next big barbarian banging on the gate.
I'm talking a real superstar.
I am holding the validation for a $500,000 Escalon sale! - Guess who the new kid on the block is? - I'm not that new, Carol.
You got that right, Mr.
Come-Blow-Your-Own-Horn because it ain't you.
Angela Weber, the new welterweight champion of Escalon.
What are you talking about, Carol? Sweetheart, I told you.
Modesty is a terrible trait.
I am sitting here with a P.
O.
validated from Sorcerer International for $500,000 worth of cancer cure! - That's impossible.
- Not when you dress for success.
See, my buying you these outfits was a great investment of mine.
- But who the hell is Sorcerer International? - I have no idea.
Okay.
Well, you know, I'd rather be lucky than good too, huh? I protect my clients at this place too, Ange.
Someone tried to close a deal on my wife.
- I didn't know it was your wife, Michael.
- It was at my wedding, Carl.
- You got a rich daddy, Angela? - Not that I know of, no.
Hey, you leave her alone, Carl.
It was her sale.
Yeah, right.
She just walks in here, she closes a deal just like that, huh? I've been here a long time, Carol.
House deals go to the top man.
That's always the way it works.
I am the top man! This was no house deal, Carl.
And you used to be the top man, but now there's a new one.
Nice job, Angela.
That was a monster of a close.
- Thank you.
- Get over it, Carl.
All right, everybody, ladies and gentlemen, let's get back to those phones because a stock buy like this is gonna send Escalon right over the top! Come on.
Everybody, back.
Let's go! Tell your wife.
Just buy her a new car this weekend.
That's right, sir, the stock has moved to $20 a share.
It doesn't work.
No, see because we can't do that.
I'm afraid you have exactly 10 minutes to get on this rocket ship.
Nobody knocks.
Come in! Hey, gorgeous.
- Can I talk to you? - Sure, doll.
What's up? First, you were an aluminium siding salesperson and then you sold cardboard shoes.
And now you are the hottest stockbroker in town.
- I'm lucky, huh? - I don't think there's such a thing.
No, doll, you're wrong because up until now all of mine has been bad.
There was $100 million in the firm account.
- And if that's not luck, then what is it? - It's gone.
The Escalon accounts have been drained.
Are you lending the money out? Listen, sweetheart, this really isn't your end of the rope, okay? Why don't you let Mommy handle this? I'm not adopted.
I know that.
I was speaking euphemistically.
Come on, don't get serious on me here.
It doesn't go with your pretty dress.
- I think that you are being set up.
- You're wrong.
I'm getting even.
- For what? - For the life I never got to have, okay? I was always this close, just inches away, living on bounced cheques and latching onto any loser who came along and told me I was pretty.
It was a tough gig.
- Is that why you gave your baby away? - Yes, it is.
Well, I think that was a tremendously generous thing to do.
Not really.
I just loved her so much I had no choice.
I need you to pull the Escalon stock loan.
I am making five percent on a $100 million for a two-day loan.
Are you from the Securities Exchange Commission? - No.
- Then stay the hell out of it! Call the loan, Carol.
Don't do it.
What do you mean, the deal is off? I mean, it's real simple.
I'm not lending you the money.
Why the change of heart? Well, I had a sudden attack of integrity, I guess.
- Unfortunate.
- Yeah, for you.
It's already lent.
Happy Easter.
You made some money before, this time you lost.
Check your spreadsheets, Carol.
- No, I'm going to jail.
- Probably.
- All right, I'm taking you with me! - Feel free to try.
Oh, my God.
Ladies and gentlemen, my fellow carnivores to the biggest meat eater of them all! - Elegant.
- Oh, yeah.
Always soft-spoken.
Let's hear it for our Carol.
And to the research rats who made this miracle drug possible.
Rats who gave their lives to save ours! Rats who, thanks to Escalon will live long rat-like lives, so let's give a rat's ass for the rat's ass! Where's your superstar, Carol? - She quit.
- What? Yeah, she took her quick little profit and ran.
How do you like that? You know, some people, you just can't get to know them no matter how close you get.
Who does that sound like? It sounds like you and me, doesn't it, Carl? - I'll take that as a compliment.
- Oh, yeah? Well, don't.
It's really nothing to be proud of.
The most money I ever made was when Somalia fell.
All those crying babies on television, they drove the market through the roof.
- You do know you're going to hell, right? - Yes, and in a very nice car.
- Hey, superstar! Buy you a drink? - I have to find Carol.
She left.
Did you try the office? Missing the party.
Carol.
Don't do it.
Why not? Listen, sweetheart, look, this has nothing to do with you, okay? Now, don't be a hero.
I'm not a hero.
I'm your friend.
You have lots of them.
Oh, yeah? What do they look like? I can't seem to recognise them.
They look like me.
Yeah? Well, who the hell are you, huh? Who are you? I don't know! Not anymore.
- Well, join the club.
- I didn't choose this.
My life was stolen from me.
The past and friends and everything, it's gone.
What are you Who would do that to you? What are you talking about? The same people who did it to you.
They have a plan to rule the world by making chaos for everything that we do.
Well, just tell them they can forget about me, okay? My life is chaos.
They win.
I mean, I failed.
I failed at everything.
You didn't fail at being my friend.
Well, I'm working on it.
They made my dad disappear without even a word.
I don't know if he's dead, alive.
That's how powerful they are.
Do you think Do you think my kid thinks about me like that, wonders where I am? Of course.
Of course.
Oh, Angela.
on Wall Street that blew the big deal Don't let them win.
It's not your style.
Come on, where's that girl who got on the bus? Following the money from Carol's transfer it bounced until it finally landed in the Cayman Islands.
Now, I need you to find out where the money ended up after that.
This is going to take all night.
Breaking and entering isn't supposed to be easy.
It's cocaine money, Sorcerer.
It's dirty money.
So, let's clean it up.
Spend it on cancer research.
Escalon is a real company.
They're trying to find a cancer cure.
They just weren't as close as the Praetorians wanted everyone to believe.
They have manipulated the truth from the start.
Can Carol still get a commission? They all worked really hard on this.
Of course.
Where is Carol? She's sleeping off a suicide attempt.
You have very little time.
I know.
Do you always have to travel with an entourage? It's something I learnt from Eddie Murphy.
It keeps the paparazzi at a distance.
Yeah, the whole world is just dying to have a picture of you to put in their wallet.
Money is the celebrity of your country, not mine.
Haven't you boys heard? You don't have a country anymore.
Your entourage? Entourette.
It's like we agreed.
You void your satellite lock codes, we uplink our new codes and lock them in.
You free your money, and we transfer to our bank.
Then you lock in your codes.
You know what to do.
Another avenue's blocked.
It's the last one.
No, no, they're moving the money again.
The pathway worked.
I'm in.
We did it.
I redirected the pathway.
The money is on its way back.
This is going to make the Praetorians crazy.
We're stabilizing the orbit now, sir.
Downlinks are secured.
We should be fully operational within 12 hours.
It was supposed to have been online an hour ago.
Yes, this Russian hardware, sir.
Compatibility necessitated downgrading the interface to the Nixon era.
President Nixon was my friend.
The Russians are online.
They say the money is missing.
But we're running a search on it now.
Bring them up.
Problem, comrade? The money is not where you said it would be.
You lost it.
Your problem.
- I can make it yours.
- Don't threaten me.
Maybe some Bolshevik intellectual you had locked up in Siberia lost the money in a snow drift.
- This is mistake, Trelawney.
- My first one of the day.
- Give me your codes.
- Nyet, Sergei.
Say hi to Curly and Larry for me.
It was taken.
The source of the steal was Publix, Carol's office.
The funds have been forwarded into the Escalon Laboratories.
- How the hell did that happen? - Sorcerer put someone inside.
Our inquiries are bringing up a description.
We got a female, dark hair, mid-20s.
A whole new identity.
They'll never find you.
- You mean I can be anybody I want to be? - Yes.
Who do you admire? I admire you.
That's not a good idea.
Grace Slick.
I always wanted to be Grace Slick, except before she went into rehab.
Name? First name, Grace.
- Last name? - Mitchell.
- As in Joni? - That's right.
That's me.
- Grace Mitchell.
- Okay, pretty lady.
Stand back.
Say, "Right arm farm out.
" Right arm farm out! - Where do you want to live? - Paris.
- Can I live in Paris? - Très bien! Paris! I want you to keep the car.
Carol, I Don't even think about saying no.
- Here.
- I wasn't going to.
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you.
Good living is the best revenge.
Let's go, Angela.
What are you doing? How have you been? Come on.
Out! It's our picnic.
I'm going to find out where the Sorcerer is.
- I don't know where he is.
- I think you do.
I've grown very fond of you.
Is it okay for me to make that kind of a confession? - I don't know.
I'm not a priest.
- Neither am I! That's a shocker.
- Where's the Sorcerer? - I don't know! I told you, I haven't known since the day that I met you.
I've been too busy trying to stay alive! Don't move! Drop the gun! You, go.
Who are you? You know who I am, because we know who you are.
I'm the enemy of your enemy, which means we're friends.
Go.
Go.
If you let me keep her, I'll give you back the satellite codes.
We don't need her to get the codes.
We only need you.
Do you know who I work for? No.
But I work for myself.
First time in four generations.
Now, give me the satellite lock codes.
You're a dead man.
Like you, I die a little every day just to survive.
What are your lock codes for the satellite? Go to hell! Fella, this is hell.
As you can see, the last satellite has been brought into orbit.
The final link in our network.
What happened? Someone has gotten in and changed the lock codes.
Damn this incompetence! Gentlemen, I apologise, and this problem will be corrected.
I can assure you.
What the hell is that? There it is again! What the hell is that noise? Pull over.
See what that noise is.
It's driving me nuts! It's Trelawney.
Looks like he's been in an accident.
- Is he alive? - I believe so, sir.
Well, in that case drive him to the hospital.
- Carol must be a very nice lady.
- You guys would be great together.
- What makes you say that? - 'Cause you're both nuts.
- You should ask her out, but you wouldn't.
- How do you know that? Because you like all this hide and seek, good guys, bad guys stuff.
- Reminds you of the '60s.
- What makes you think I remember the '60s? Your corny syntax and lousy sense of humour.
Why do you got to do me like that? - Now you sound like an anachronism.
- Come on, man, give me my props.
Who are you trying to be, Sorcerer? Someone who's doing the right thing, Ange.
Just like you.